i seriously thought about this picture for a good hour and it still brings joy to the world

The Summer (2/?)

The Summer (2/?) | Dan Howell has spent the last three summers at Camp Bergamot, but it’s never been quite like this before. This year, he faces a summer full of new friends, a new relationship, and an entirely new view on his own sexuality. Perhaps Camp Bergamot should be renamed camp self discovery for all the changes Dan has gone through, but one thing’s for sure - despite all the hiccups and the drama, he just might have found the love of his life. | Phan | Mature | Smut, Misunderstandings, Insecurity, Panic Attacks, Bullying, Minor Violence, Physical Fight | 300,000+ Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

This Part: 9,480 Words

For reference, @phansdick is Dan, @insanityplaysfics is Phil.

(Previous) (AO3) (Masterlist)

Warnings: Beginnings of sexualitiy crisis’

A/N: Hey guys, it’s Eliza back with chapter two of The Summer for you all! I just wanted to start out this chapter with a quick second disclaimer regarding Phil and his sexuality. I know the whole thing is going to get quite confusing, and when we originally set up the tags and warnings, Rachel and I labeled him as Demi. However, as I’ve been editing, Phil has melded himself into something entirely different to what I was expecting, and I’ve had to re-write a few scenes to make my vision of him come true. My fear is misrepresentation or anger at the changes I’ve made, so I’d like to disclaim that Phil is going through a similar crisis to something I’ve been through, and doesn’t fall into any one box. His confusion comes from a very real place, and is in no way intended to be disrespectful to people who identify as pan or demi. Thank you for your time, and we really hope that you’re going to love this story as it progresses!

Chapter Two

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jeremiah-heere  asked:

Imagine the havoc the foxes would bring upon an amusement park. They all had to attend for ~publicity~ reasons, despite adamant refusals from /some/ of the team members

who thought this was a good idea? 

  • wymack gets an email from the ncaa saying that since the foxes are gaining popularity they need to be seen doing team things
  • ofc they have to go all out and they get the 3 day passes to all of the amusement parks near orlando (though this turned into disney world only??)
  • neil is super excited because he’s never been to an amusement park before aND IT’S SO ENDEARING!
  • he’s so smol (yes, that is a necessary bullet point)
  • aaron refuses to go because he hates fun 
  • but katelyn is allowed to come so he grudgingly agrees because he’s in love~
  • kevin will do anything for publicity
  • but he doesn’t know where the paparazzi are hiding so he tries his hardest not to scream at the foxes
  • he’s fake
  • this trip is the best thing that has ever happened to nicky
  • he drags neil on every ride and neil is Loving Life™
  • matt and dan are also very excited about this and they take so many selfies 
  • and they get those cheesy couple sets of mickey/minnie ears
  • a lot of kids come up to allison and ask if she’s a princess and she thinks it’s so fucking cute 
  • i want her to fucking step on me
  • renee’s whereabouts are a mystery tbh
  • andrew is The Mom Friend and he’s stuck watching everyone’s stuff 
  • he tells them that he’ll fucking sell their shit and that he’s not a watchdog but one look from neil and he’s sitting on a bench with bags and water bottles surrounding him
  • okay hear me out
  • aNDREW HELPING A LOST KID FIND HIS PARENTS
  • fuck me upppp 
  • he sees a kid crying and his older brother senses he gained from the orphanage come to the surface
  • he’s like “hey bud do you need help finding your parents?” and the kid vigorously nods and he probably reaches out for andrew’s hand
  • and andrew doesn’t like anyone touching him but this is a little kid that’s crying?? he has to hold their hand
  • andrew walking around and talking to the kid and he eventually stops and gets ice cream and he’s just chilling with some random kid he met at disney world and eating ice cream with him??
  • the parents are on the verge of a heart attack and then they just see their kid chilling and eating ice cream with a 5 foot tall college student clad in all black
  • bonus points if they’re exy fans and they’re just “is that one of the minyard twins??”
  • andrew somehow finds the foxes and everyone is asking where he was and he just shrugs and finishes the rest of his ice cream
  • neil eyerolls so hard
  • because did his boyfriend really take an hour to get ice cream?
  • they cross paths with aaron and katelyn and nicky calls out to them
  • aaron pretends that he didn’t hear nicky but katelyn slaps the back of his head and nicky fucking loses it. hE IS GONE.
  • katelyn drags aaron over to the foxes 
  • allison and renee show up and the gang is together again
  • so many selfies and group pictures ensue
  • allison demands a picture of her stepping on kevin
  • ofc kevin declines but he owes her because he never paid up for a bet he lost 
  • allison gets that picture
  • right in the middle of the road at disney
  • she posts it on her instagram with the caption reading “oh how far the queen has fallen”
  • kevin is pissed about it
  • but he thinks of the publicity and the mental visions of strangling allison will have to do
  • all of the foxes go on the tower of terror and andrew hates his life (idc if this isn’t in disney world fucking fight me it’s like 3:30am and this is the only ride i know from memory)
  • dan buys a copy of the picture taken during the drop because it’s fucking hilarious?? 
  • dan and matt are holding onto each other somehow and screaming 
  • but like seriously how are they holding onto each other?? they have those things that hold you in so you don’t die
  • allison is looking at her nails (it’s all for show, it’s dark as fuck in there)
  • neil and nicky are full of joy and throwing their arms up and smiling/screaming
  • kevin looks angry (when does he not?)
  • andrew looks emotionless but his legs were shaking because he does not do amusement park rides - why is he on this thing?
  • katelyn looks so happy and aaron is looking at her because once again, he’s in love~ 
  • renee is still somehow smiling softly?? what is her secret?
  • there are so many new pictures on the wall and i am officially dead
  • goodbye
Dave: Receive Disciplinary Call From Daycare

“Bro?” Dirk asked, once Dave had high-fived him for the sword. “Are you gonna marry Karkat?”

Dave spat out his coffee.

A thing I wrote based on @thegoshdangdavekatgang’s daycare AU which is literally the best thing that anyone has created ever and you should go check it out immediately.
________

If asked exactly how he came to have a brother twenty years younger than him, Dave Strider couldn’t tell you. He also couldn’t tell you where his dad had fucked off to, or why Dave had been left with the kid. It was just an incredibly tangled skein of thread in the vaster tapestry of paradox space and its unfair bullshit. Nappies and sippy cups and 4 am wake-up calls became a part of Dave’s life, and the inclusion of things like ‘toilet training’ and ‘weird rashes on a two-year-old’ made his internet history just that bit more respectable. Or worse. That depended on your perspective. Babies were supposed to be adorable little bundles of joy, yes, but there were times when Dave wondered if accidentally putting Dirk’s baby formula in his coffee was worth it all.

But Dave wasn’t one to complain, so he buckled down and tried to juggle raising a child and running a burgeoning multimedia anti-establishment empire. He wasn’t famous, not exactly, not yet, so Dirk’s baby pictures remained confined to family albums instead of the paparazzi worldwide; which wasn’t to say there weren’t hurdles. There had been a tricky incident in a Starbucks where someone had run up and asked for Dave’s autograph, then promptly noticed the baby and his fucking awesome shades, cooed over him, realised how similar the two looked and then peppered Dave with questions for a good fifteen minutes. Eventually he came up with a story about adopting a baby for a day, and managed to explain the whole imaginary process with a straight face. It was completely ridiculous and exactly the sort of thing Dave would probably do.

With a brother like that, Dirk was going to grow up to be a pretty cool kid. His smiles needed work, because they happened about once every month and looked like he was about to stab someone, but Dave’s therapist (a long story, but Nepeta was now a pretty trusted confidant) assured him that everything would sort itself out.

When Dirk brought a sword to daycare for show and tell, Dave was tempted to ask for his money back. Personally, he thought it was cool. Dirk obviously thought it was cool. They were apparently the only ones.

Like, Dirk was cool. That was a given. He was Dave’s little bro, and anyone who grew up in that kind of household basically lived off a diet of eyebrow-raising irony and sick beats. (And actual food, because Dave’s childhood meals had pretty much been exactly that and he still hadn’t entirely vanquished the nightmares, or the hoarding problem. And fuck if little Strider Junior was ever going to be anything but loved).

But Dave was apparently failing in his brotherly duties, because Dirk had been told about show and tell and what it entailed and decided that a sword would be just the thing to wow all of his potential bros.

Dave may have panicked when he received the phone call.

“But it’s not like he could have done something terrible,” he rambled, before anyone could explain what exactly Dirk had done, “Like, I’m not a bad guardian, I know where all the nappies are and dude, that’s pretty hard to figure out let me tell you-”

“Mr Strider. I know exactly how hard it is to find nappies. It’s not that fuuuuck…it’s not that hard.” Karkat Vantas, Dirk’s daycare teacher, didn’t appear to be a particularly patient man. Dave had seen him once, thought short, shouty, that red sweater’s the fucking ugliest thing I’ve ever seen, and swept Dirk off into the over-saturated Texas sunset. Then he’d realised that he would totally wear that sweater with a grand total of zero ironic inclinations and contemplated his life choices the entire trip home. The car was almost totalled twice.

“Well then maybe you have some kind of super nappy finding skills because I spent a whole half hour trying to find those little shits, and my sister’s lost entire packets, so what I’m saying is maybe you should cut me some slack on the nappy-finding front.”

“Mr Strider, could we maybe talk about how Dirk decided a sword would be an appropriate item for show and tell?”

“No way, that’s fucking awesome.”

“No it isn’t!” Vantas yelled. Dave thought his eardrum might burst. “It is in no way in any world awesome to bring a sword to a daycare. How is that awesome?”

“Okay look, you have to admit that it’s pretty cool. A sword, dude, he brought a sword. Which one was it?”

“He called it the unbreakable katana.”

“Sweet.”

“Did you tell him to bring the sword? Because I’m beginning to doubt your capabilities as a guardian, Mr Strider.”

“Well okay look,” Dave said quickly. “It’s not like I told him to bring it or anything. He never even mentioned show and tell, I didn’t even know you guys did that sort of shit, like, I’m innocent here and it’s obviously the first offence so I’ll just take him home and explain-”

“Last week he brought a-” Vantas paused. He sounded slightly embarrassed. “A…look, this week he brought a sword and last week it was a smuppet, so could you please just control your son and-”

“Brother.”

“I’m sorry?”

“He’s not my son, he’s my little brother.”

“Oh, um…okay, well, please control your brother-”

“And before you ask, I don’t know where my dad is and if you’re going to judge-”

“Mr Strider, I didn’t ask. And your personal life is literally nowhere near my concern, and you know what? I am incredibly grateful for that, because having you in my work life is terrible enough.”

“Okay dude, seriously? Are we doing PTA shit? Did you just go there, Susan?”

“My name is not Susan.”

“If you don’t like it you can be Helen and I’ll be Susan.”

“You know, I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I thought that maybe it was Dirk who was just naturally obsessed with irony at four years old. I pictured you as slightly harassed and just incredibly done with your precocious brother. I’m now sorry for pinning all the blame on Dirk, because I’m sure he’d be a bloody great child without your obnoxious influence.”

“Hey, dude, there’s no need to be a dick about it, I’m sorry about the sword. I’ll talk to Dirk about it. It won’t happen again.”

Privately, Dave wanted to add that it wouldn’t happen again because Dirk would not be attending this particular daycare again, but he knew that finding another one would be far more hassle that it was worth. Also Dirk seemed surprisingly attached to this Vantas man, with a careful and inconsiderate amount of sincerity Dave was pretty sure he never showed when he was four. It was fucking annoying, that’s what it was, because Dave would be quite happy if he never saw Karkat Vantas again.

That was unfortunate, because when Dave finally arrived to pick Dirk up he got his first good look at Karkat. All prior assumptions went out of the window. Karkat Vantas was hot. A bit on the short side, maybe, but his dark hair was fluffy and artfully tousled and Dave couldn’t get rid of the urge to run his fingers through it. The red sweater had been swapped out for a polarneck and it was actually almost cute.

Frazzled, Dave grabbed Dirk and ran, dropping only cursory greetings to Karkat and Kanaya before hightailing it out of there.

“Bro?” Dirk asked, once Dave had high-fived him for the sword. “Are you going to marry Karkat?”

Dave spat out his coffee. “Why would I marry Karkat? Dirk, what the hell!”

“Cos Karkat said Kanaya was gonna marry Auntie Rose and you looked at Karkat like you were gonna marry him.”

Dave debated whether explaining how Rose was not actually Dirk’s aunt and instead his big sister would be more or less painful than a potential attraction to Karkat.

He decided that no, their fucked-up family tree was easier, and launched into a description about Rose and Roxy, complete with air diagrams. Dirk listened attentively, punctuating Dave’s train of speech at the most awkward times, with the kind of questions that made Dave wonder just what the fuck went on in Karkat Vantas’s daycare.

But despite himself, Dave found that being civil to Karkat was a lot nicer than being an asshole, and drawing dicks over a whiteboard is only innappropriate if the children see. And if, many weeks later, he found himself accepting Karkat’s grumbled offer of coffee with a wink and a lot of internal squealing; well, that was just serendipity. Some things were meant to happen. Karkat Vantas was apparently one of them.

150720 Baekhyun fan chat [full trans]

- hello this is EXO’s Baekhyun!!!!!!

- it was supposed to start at 7:30pm but because i wanted to talk to you a little longer so i tried my best to start as early as i can!!

- i am really working out very hard!! 

- da jia hao! [’hello’ in chinese]

- hi!

- konnichiwa! [’hello’ in japanese]

- my room is still the living room

- everybody, there is still nutella (tummy) left!

- my roommate..? i am sleeping alone in the living room..

- sawadeekap! >< [hello’ in thai]

- i didn’t take any mongryeongie’s picture…

- i have a secret. i too started liking EXO-L ever since debut ^^ hahahahaahahahaha

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