i seriously had no idea what to do with my face

Hello :D can I ask for BTS reactions? You two had a very big fight, and he was yelling, and when he reach his hand to scrach his head, you cover yourself because you thouth that he will hit you...? Thank you 😘

Jin:

It would break his heart to see you flinch when he raises his hand to scratch his head. He quickly realizes how much he scared you. He would take a few steps towards you, reaching out his hands in your direction. When he realizes that you are taking a step back every time he comes closer, he would feel so helpless. He can feel the tears starting to form when he looks into your eyes, thick drops running down your beautiful face. He would fall onto his knees, not knowing what to do. He is sure that he lost you because of this stupid fight but instead you drop to your knees as well, scooting closer to him. When he looks up and sees you in front of him, he instantly reaches out his hands, cupping your face.

‘I’m so so sorry y/n. I don’t even know why I got this angry about nothing. I really love you, please don’t be afraid of me.’, he would say, the tears now running down his cheeks.

As an answer you would lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his chest.

Suga:

It would also break his heart to see you protect your head when he raises his hand to scratch his neck. But instead of approaching you, he would keep the pain on the inside. Sure, it hurts him to see you cry because of him. To see you being so scared of him. But he could never show you how much it hurts. Instead he would take his wallet and keys, leaving the apartment. He knows that you both need some space and time too calm down. After a few hours of walking through the empty streets, yelling out his soul, he would sneak back into your apartment. Realizing that you must have went to bed already, he would quietly walk over to your shared bedroom, tip toeing to the bed. Slowly he would climb onto the bed, scooting really close next to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. Because you weren’t able to sleep, your min wandering off every time you tried to, you turn around in his arms, pressing your face into his chest.

‘I love you y/n.’, he would simply say, reaching up his hand to pat your head gently.

'I know.’, you mumble into his chest.

'I’m sorry that I get so angry about the smallest things.’, he tries to apologize.

'It’s alright. I know that this is just how you are…’, you would say.

Like this you would cuddle until you both fall asleep.

J-Hope:

After seeing you flinch at him raising his hand to his head, he would realize the seriousness of the situation. He would instantly start crying like a baby, trying to approach you.

'Y/n, I didn’t mean to…’, he would start to apologize. But seeing you stepping away from him makes the words get stuck in his throat. He would just stand there for a moment, trying to get a hold of himself. Then he would take his only possibility for you to accept his apology. He looks at you before running towards you, wrapping his arms around you. even if you try to push him away, not wanting to have him this close, he would force himself onto you, holding you tighter, until you would finally give in. Your arms are hanging loosely on your sides while Hoseok is crying into your shoulder.

'I’m truly sorry y/n. Please don’t be scared of me. I’m your Hope, did you forget?’, he would try to brighten the mood. And it actually would. You would have to suppress the laugh that wants to escape your mouth. He can see your eyes lighten up and he starts smiling like a idiot.

Rap Monster:

Even if Namjoon always seems to be the tough guy, it would hurt him so freaking much to see you bawling in front of him. Seeing his mistakes and trying to figure out how to make up for it, he scratches the back of his head. But instead of coming to an answer, he sees you throwing up your arms in front of you face to protect yourself. It would break his little, pure heart to see how scared you are of him. He would react somewhat like Yoongi. Knowing that you both need to calm down, he would leave the apartment, wandering around the streets in the middle of the night. This would be his way to come up with ideas on how to get you back. After about an hour he would come back home. When he sees you sitting on the sofa, he would approach you and wrap his protective arms around you, holding you close.

'Y/n, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot. I promise that this will never happen again. I can’t endure seeing you being so scared of me. It breaks my heart.’, he would try to apologize.

When you wouldn’t answer thought, he would slowly start to panic.

'Please baby, please give me another chance. I will be the best boyfriend on earth. I would do anything to make my princess happy.’, he would try again with a small, nervous smile.

'You are such an idiot.’, you would finally say with a deep breath, flicking his forehead.

'You know that I love you. But this was the first time I saw you that pissed. It really scared me.’, you try to explain.

'I know, I know…’, he would wrap his arms around you even tighter, not letting you go.

Jimin:

Jimin would be overwhelmed with the situation. he has never seen you look as scared before as when he raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck. Guilt is rising inside of him and he just doesn’t know what to do. He would just stand there, looking at you with a hurt expression on his face, while you are breaking down to the floor in front of him.

But suddenly something snaps inside of him and he knows that he has to make you realize that he would never hurt you. He would drop down to his knees, sitting on the floor right in front of you. He would take both of your hands into his and make you look at him. When your eyes meet his, you would instantly see the pain lingering there. You would turn around, not wanting to see how hurt he is when he is the reason why things ended like this. He would get your actions and wrap his arms around your waist from behind, resting his head on your shoulder. 'I’m sorry babe. I know I fucked up. But everything’s alright now.’, he would apologize. 'I love you. You are my one and only. Please know that I would never hurt you. You are the most precious thing in my life, I could never.’, he would continue. At that you would turn around to wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He would start patting your head, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

V:

Taehyung would react quiet similar to Jimin. First he would just stand there, taken aback of what just happened. He can’t believe that he scared you so much as to flinch back at him raising his hand to his neck. He would sit down on the sofa beside him, running his hand over his face. 'Y/n, I-’, he would start trying to explain but he can’t even thing of anything that would justify his actions. He knows that he shouldn’t have reacted so pissed. 'I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I know that there is nothing to defend the way I reacted but please. Please, don’t be scared of me. I love you, y/n.’, he would try to apologize even if he knows that it’s not enough.

Slowly he would stand up from the sofa, taking small steps towards you. But you are still scared and step back, further away from him. He would just take your wrists against your will and hug you with force. 'I really love you.’, he would say again, feeling you slowly relax in his arms.

Jungkook:

Jungkook would be the member that would be the most heart broken. After seeing you step back, putting your arms in front of your heard in a protective manner, he would just break down. He would start crying, thinking that everything was over because you don’t trust him anymore. He would leave the apartment in a hurry, not wanting you to see him like this. He would spent the night outside in a park, crying his eyes out and making himself responsible for this situation, even if you both yelled at each other. He wouldn’t be the type to just come back home, trying to apologize. He would just think that this is the end. You would need to be the one to make the first move. After Jungkook didn’t come home the whole night, you would send him a text, saying that you want him to come to your apartment to talk. When he arrives about half an hour later, you can tell that he was crying the whole night.

'Jungkook, I love you but…’, you would start to explain but he would interrupt your sentence by slamming you against himself in a bone crushing hug.

'Please y/n, don’t break up with me… I need you.’, he would start crying again.

Deciding to hear him out first, you would stay quiet.

'I didn’t want to get this angry. You know how jealous I am when it comes to you. I just can’t live without you. I really love you.’, he would continue.

'I know Jungkook. I don’t want to break up. I just wanted to tell you how stupid you are some times.’, you answer with a light chuckle.

He would step back and look you in the eyes before slamming his soft lips onto yours.

______________________________________________________________

Thank you for your request annonymous ;) This is my first time making a reaction so I hope you like it :’D And sorry if there are any errors :’D

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

Sheriff Knows Best

Stiles/Derek, G, 2K words, Sheriff POV, Coffeeshop AU, matchmaker!Sheriff

(Credit for the title to @cobrilee!)

This is an expansion of the following idea, written by the lovely @artemis69:

the coffee!AU, where John goes to the same coffee shop every day, and there is this very grumpy, quiet barista that always makes him amazing coffee and keep the best pastries for him. And one day the Sheriff learns that Derek is the one to bake them all, so he decides: this will be my son in law, I need a reason to have this man in my family for at least forty to fifty years. Then he matchmakes with no subtility whatsoever, basically offering his only son on a silver plate, Stiles spluttering all the way (but he takes Derek’s number anyway because the guy is just amazingly cute)

John’s on his regular morning stroll when he stops in his tracks and takes in the brand-new coffee shop, complete with a banner advertising their opening day. The little corner space has been boarded up for over a year, and John had no idea it was opening today.

Any new businesses are a boon for Beacon Hills, especially family-run ones like this one is rumored to be, so John ducks inside. It’s warm and homey, and there’s a pair of young dark-haired people behind the counter, close enough in features that they’re probably siblings. The quiet bickering points that direction, too.

They stop, though, when they see the Sheriff—the uniform tends to have that effect—and he pastes on his public servant smile. “Hi there. I saw this place was open and wanted to come on in and introduce myself. Sheriff John Stilinski.”

“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” the woman says, holding out her hand for a shake. A nice strong grip—John likes this girl already. “I’m Laura Hale, and I own this place with my brother Derek, our resident grumpy barista-slash-baker.”

Derek rolls his eyes at Laura, but his smile to John is genuine, if small. “Hi, Sheriff. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, son,” he says, perusing the case full of tempting sugary treats. “You made these?”

He nods. “Can I get you anything?”

John hums. “A medium coffee, and…any one of these delicious-looking goodies. You pick. Just don’t tell my son,” he adds, and Derek looks up at him.

“Your son?”

“I have slightly elevated cholesterol,” he says, stressing the word. “Nothing to worry about, honestly. But he polices my diet. I don’t think he knows about this place yet, though, so this is great.”

Derek hums. His tongs hover over a muffin—lemon poppyseed, it looks like—before moving to another one. Raspberry-almond, according to the sign, and well, John isn’t picky. Derek drops it into a little bag and hands it over.

“Happy to help,” he says.

John thanks him and opens the bag. Laura’s still pouring his coffee, but it smells so damn good that he can’t resist.

“Wow,” he says, his mouth full. “This is delicious.”

Derek looks quietly proud, and Laura claps him on the shoulder as she reaches over to hand John his coffee. “On the house, today, Sheriff,” she says. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promises.


“Thanks, Nina,” John says dryly, leaning back so she can put his plate in front of him.

“You’re welcome, Sheriff,” she says with a friendly smile, ignoring his stink eye.

Stiles just grins at both of them and digs into his French toast. He insists on having their weekly father-son breakfast at Paulie’s Diner because no matter what John orders, Nina will only bring him an egg-white omelet with a dry English muffin. Stiles must have some serious blackmail or be paying her off somehow, and John is, he has to admit, grudgingly impressed.

“Don’t look so bummed out, Pops,” Stiles says, around a mouthful of what’s surely syrup-drenched deliciousness. “At least I let you have turkey bacon.”

“It’s not the same,” he says grumpily, poking at it. “But at least I’m getting a steady stream of baked goods now.”

Stiles glares at him. “Are you serious? From where? I thought I had paid everyone off.”

He knew it. “I’m not telling you,” he says, a little displeased with how childish he sounds.

“Fine,” Stiles says, sniffing. “I’ll figure it out, you know I will.”

He will, John knows. Goddamn, he loves his kid, even if his life goal seems to be depriving John from any and all delicious food. “And speaking of, I met someone the other day,” he starts, and Stiles gasps theatrically, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“Is this you crapping all over my dream of having Melissa as my stepmom?”

John sighs at the reminder. Melissa is…well, she seems happy with that Argent guy. Whatever. He’s not bitter.

“Not for me, Jesus,” he says, shaking his head. “For you.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles says, slumping back in the booth. “Eye roll” is too mild, John thinks. It’s more of a whole head roll. “Seriously, Dad, I’m only 25. You don’t have to marry me off quite yet. You’ll get your grandchildren someday, I promise. Stop trying to set me up with people.”

“I’m just trying to be helpful!” John protests. “He seems nice.”

And makes really good treats, he adds in his head. That’ll be a good trait for a son-in-law.

“And who exactly is he?”

John pauses. “I met him at the aforementioned undisclosed location.” 

Stiles snorts. “Find out if he actually likes dudes, then get back to me.”

“Okay,” he says seriously, and Stiles grimaces.

“No, Dad, don’t actually—”

Keep reading

fake dating! zimbits

It was only by a stroke of luck that Jack happened to look at his phone just as he exits the lecture hall. The group chat was blowing up – the group chat was always blowing up these days – but the lack of all-caps or exclamation marks caught his attention right away.

Eric Bittle: Guys, I wouldn’t ask this of y’all if I really didn’t need this, but I have to ask a HUGE favor of one of you.

Shitty Knight: brah are you dying

Justin Oluransi: You can have my kidney, Bits.

Adam Birkholtz: u aren’t gonna save that for me just in CASE, JUSTIN?

Larissa Duan: shit, bitty, r u ok

Eric Bittle: Um, yeah, mostly, I just…..need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.

Keep reading

Mutually Assured Dating

‘You were singing really loudly in the shower when I broke into your apartment but then i heard you slip and crash and oh god i should probably check on you in case i get done for murder instead of just robbery’ AU


It took all of fourteen seconds for Derek to realize he was in the wrong apartment.

First, he noticed the very large and scuffed up sneakers and boots ditched haphazardly kind of near the door but half into the living room. Cora was meticulous about her shoes and kept them neatly arranged in a shoe rack right next to the door. The only time they touched the floor was when her feet were in them.

Second, the stuff. There was so much stuff everywhere; clothes thrown over the back of the couch, dishes across the coffee table and all over the kitchen counters, books on every surface, a gaming console dragging wires across the floor and surrounded by games, in cases and out of them. Cora was an unintentional minimalist, in that she threw out anything she didn’t need and lacked a single sentimental bone in her body. Derek and Laura regularly made trips to wherever she lived to save family keepsakes and memories from her ruthless cleaning sprees.

Then he noticed the manly warble coming from somewhere deeper in the apartment, and Cora’s favorite topic of rant floated lazily to the forefront of his mind.

—but my neighbor, oh my god this guy! I’m going to kill him if I ever see him in the hall! His bathroom shares a wall with my bedroom and he sings in the shower, every shower, at all hours. Literally all hours, like 4am, and he only sings Christmas carols at 4am. I’ve have Jingle Bells stuck in my head for a week! 

Shoes, stuff, singing.

This was not Cora’s apartment.

Keep reading

Baby Girl (Jungkook/Reader)

Prompt: May I request a Jungkook smut in which you are bf and he has always seen you just as a kid because you’re younger than him. He doesn’t mind being shirtless around you or you hearing him talk about the last night’s girl with a friend. To the point of you getting so frustrated about him not treating you as a woman and plainly thinking of you as his cute and innocent girl friend that one day you start dry humping him saying something along the lines: do I still look that innocent to you (oppa)? thx

Genre: Smut, Slight Angst, Slight Humor, College!Au, Best Friends!Au

Words: 3.5K+

Author: Admin Nan

Summary: It was a boiling summer day you realized your attraction for the cute, older boy next door. 

Tags: Swearing, Dry humping, Thigh riding, Sub!Kook, Oppa, Park Jimin - Reader Discretion is advised.

Originally posted by jeonsshi


Keep reading

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

Draco Malfoy Crush Headcanons

Masterlist


Gryffindor Reader

Originally posted by perfectfeelings


- Omg people would totally ship you two as the love/hate relationship and/or the sexual tension relationship

- Cliche, but start off as total rivals

- If you played Quiddich you would make it your top priority to always distract Draco

- Shameless teasing tho??

- “Hey Malfoy, nice ass”

- ///blushblushblush “Excuse me?!”

- “You heard me!”

- Shameless catcalling purposely in front of everyone including Snape and his friends

- But one day you are genuinely upset and on the verge of tears but you, being stubborn, refuse to cry in front of him

- “Didn’t you hear me?! Go away, Malfoy!”

- Offers you a handkerchief, an awkward hug, and sweets

- A messy, tear stained and shaky smile

- “Since when did you go soft, Malfoy?”

- “I should be asking you the same thing, (Last Name)

- So obviously you two are pretty close friends now

- He can basically trust you with anything so he comes to you when he has problems

- But both of you are extremely stubborn so usually the other person will have to confront the other about their notice in their change of attitude

- You having to confess first

- He’d totally try to confess but end up getting too nervous and backing away

- “Hey Malfoy, you be interested in going to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

-//smirksmirk “You wouldn’t be asking me out, would you?”

-”Pffftttt as if????”

- You totally were asking him out

- He said yes in the most teasing way with a signature smirk

- You were very proud of your relationship because there was no denying Draco was just hot

- But like he was a complete sweetie

- If you were sick he would always freak out and if he saw you were struggling in classes he would discreetly leave you his study notes in the most unexpected ways like “accidentally” mixing his 100% amazing notes up with your slightly pitiful ones

- And ugh he was just an amazing partner to have???


Slytherin Reader

Originally posted by tisbaylee


- Not gonna lie you two were already friends

- Like you would gang up on people you shared a hatred for always

- Sometimes people would even avoid you two in fear of being completely roasted™

- It was like “o shit here they come rUN BITCH RUN N Y O O M

 - But no seriously you two would diss whoever and whatever if they got on your nerves 

- And obviously he would ask you to the Yule Ball

-“You’re asking me, Malfoy…?”

-“Of course. Who else would I ask? Parkinson?”

- And like whenever the two of you would enter the ballroom all eyes would immediately just turn to you two

- Because lets face it, the two of you could stop traffic 

- You would both sneak off after some stuff had died down in a dark and empty corridor 

- The two of you would just be chatting by a windowsill whenever out of nowhere he would just kiss you

- You were like talking about class or something and he would just press his lips against yours

- And you just melted

- Because you could feel how shaky and nervous he was

- But he was so gentle

- And omg you cuties

- Tbh no one is surprised when you enter the Great Hall hand in hand

- Blaise catcalls

- Pansy snarls

- Crabbe and Goyle don’t really care 

- But you and Draco are too absorbed in the little world that has formed around you to notice

Ravenclaw Reader

Originally posted by lovershub

 

- The only reason he knew you is because you were the person who always just happened to score one or two points above him on every. single. assignment.

- Like he would be bragging in class about his grades when the teacher would speak up like 

-“Obviously I have the best test scores in here but that’s not surprise—“

-“aCTUALLY Mister Malfoy, Miss (Name) (Last Name) scored just one point above you…! So you’re wrong lol”

- And he would just be appalled

- And then he would basically track you down and discreetly ask about studying techniques

- And you’d just be like “So Mister “I scored one less point than someone” wants to hear about my studying techniques? I don’t think so, Second Place.”

- He’d do an unintentional dramatic gasp and like press an offended hand to his chest

- And you’d just walk away with the most smug smirk ever

- After that incident he’d badmouth you almost as much as he badmouthed Potter

- Almost

- Because after doing some “researching” (snooping) and learning more about you from observations and sources he’d find out that you’re actually really intriguing 

- And he might have had the smallest, tiniest crush on you

 - But he’d deny it of course

-the little bastard

- But like he actually finds the small things you do entertaining

- For example, he might have ‘accidentally’ showed up at the library every day you did and just happen to notice how you would play with your hair or doodle whenever you studied 

- One day, he discreetly bumped into you playing it off as he was too busy reading

- You decided not to tell him that his book was upside down

-“Oh, watch where you’re going… Anyways, if you’re here, mind helping me with this subject?”

-“Draco Malfoy? Asking for help? Who would have known?”

- But you did end up helping him 

- And after taking multiple deep breaths, he finally got the courage to ask you out

- And you told him “maybe if you can score higher than me on the next potions test”

-gUESS WHO STUDIED THEIR ASS OFF

-MALFOY DID


 Hufflepuff Reader

Originally posted by wellwailingwhale

 - Tbh he had no idea who you were

 - And honestly he didn’t even care

- But that all changed when this happened

- So you were focusing on anything other than him while walking down the hallway,

- And accidentally you bump into him

- All of your stuff falls to the ground

- And he just shoots you a nasty glare and continues walking

- You are simply picking up your things when you hear “Lousy Hufflepuffs. Can’t do anything. No wonder that Diggory died. As if a Hufflepuff is brave enough to enter that tournament and come out alive.”

- You stop dead in your tracks. “What did you just say..?”

- He turns back to you with a scoff 

- You run up in front of him and get in his face. “What the hell did you just say?! Tell me!” 

-”I said that all of you Hufflepuffs are weak and pathetic. Diggory never had what it took to enter the-”

- But he was cut off by a punch to the face. His nose was bleeding

-”Don’t you ever start saying shit like that when you, yourself, will never be better than Cedric! At his worst, he is still better than you at your best. Maybe you should think about this before speaking unless you want to be bloodied by a “lousy” Hufflepuff again.”

- He is left in sh o ck

- From then on, whenever he sees you his entire face goes red and he hides himself

- Because maybe your courage and great left hook made him form a crush

-somehow

- He leaves a note on your desk which is from “your secret admirer” (cause he’s cheesy like that) telling you to meet him outside at night

- Your first reaction when you see him is not a positive one

- He explains that he only said that about Diggory is because he tries to look impressive in front of his friends (Which isn’t a lie) and that he sincerely apologizes and mourns for your House’s loss

- After some coaxing, he is forgiven 

- You sit and chat for a while and you are pleasantly surprised when you find out he’s actually pretty cool

-At the end of the night, he asks you on a date

- And with a hesitant yet bright smile, you accept

in which jack and shitty accidentally date

based on a dream I had, I present: a short semi-fic about Jack and Shitty and their day-long, beautiful relationship.

Basically, this is what happens:

At a kegster during their freshmen year, in which Shitty is running around being the life of the party even though he’s a freshman, Jack is also in attendance– talking to Berger and Marsh in the kitchen. Jack is there, partly to keep an eye on Shitty, partly because he is surprised by how much he does like some of the guys on his team, mostly because they had won today and Jack is in quite a good mood. Not a good enough mood that he is going to risk going into the living room where music is blasting, but in a good enough mood that he is holding a solo cup of beer and chilling in the kitchen, chatting with Berger and Marsh. He is at ease as Jack ever is– laughing good naturedly as they tease both him and each other and of course, this is when the trouble starts.

The trouble is this: Marsh is drunk and excited that Jack has actually shown up to a Haus kegster and since Jack seems to be in a good mood, Marsh decides to take a risk and ask Jack a Question. More specifically, Marsh rams an friendly elbow into Jack’s ribs and goes:

“Yo, Zimmermann, you like anyone on campus yet?”

A few months prior, that question would have made Jack freeze up. But now, Jack smiles easily (because honestly, it is a rather respectful question– “like” instead of “fuck”; “anyone” instead of assuming “girl”) and he certainly doesn’t want to get into his romantic history or lack of crushes so he smiles, shrugs, and says

“Nah, love’s shitty,” It’s still friendly and he smiles and asks Berg about his crush that the whole team knows about and that should be that.

The problem, however, is that what Alex Berger and Carter Marsh heard was not “Nah, love’s shitty,” but “I’m in love with Shitty.”

Which, of course, is a much bigger deal. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ooh in that case a 10 times sex went hilariously wrong list??

top 10 times things went wrong during sex!!

Could you do a Top 10 With the FUN STORIES ABOUT THINGS GOING WRONG DURING SEX? This is from the ASK about Yuuri more silly and confident.

You mentioned “amusing ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories” and now I’m wondering if that could be made into a top ten list? (≧∇≦)

Top ten ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories!!!!!!

 Since you mentioned it in a previous ask, would you mind doing a top 10 things going wrong and / or funny things which happened during Victor and Yuuri having sex? :P

 The Top 10 ‘things going wrong during sex’ stories should definitely be a thing, but i’m not going to press you to write more (even if not explicit) sex scenes. But it would be and absolutely hilarious topic (and it would be definitely be commented in some drunk-ish after party, just let it on Chris hands). 

————–

wow, you guys really wanted this one so I bumped it to the top of the queue! 

————–



Top 10 Times Things Went Wrong During Sex:

10) One time they were in a single bed and Yuuri was riding Viktor but halfway through Viktor decided to flip them over so that he was on top. The only problem was that he was used to having a king-sized bed and so instead of rolling them over he just dumped them both on the floor instead. It took Yuuri five full minutes to stop laughing

9) In reference to one of my previous top tens, during their first visit to Yuuri’s parents Yuuri refused to have sex at all in his parent’s house surrounded by his family. And Viktor totally respected that but after two weeks of blue balls he and Yuuri were taking Vicchan and Makkachin for a walk on the beach and he basically jumped Yuuri, who was very down with that idea. Which was great in the moment but afterwards Yuuri kept giving him death glares like ‘I have sand in my clothes, I have sand in my hair I have sand in places where sand is never supposed to be’.

8) During their second visit to the onsen, Yuuri refused to have sex in the onsen itself but Viktor did manage to convince Yuuri to let Viktor give him a blowjob after they got out of the water. But since they had just spent a really long time in very hot water and most of Yuuri’s blood was…not in his head, he ended up fainting at a really not opportune moment. Viktor freaked out and was terrified that Yuuri was seriously hurt but he woke up after a couple of seconds and Mari just stuck a cold cloth on his head, told him to suck it up and smirked at them both because Yuuri had been using the hot springs since he was a kid so she knew their story about him fainting from it just being too hot was complete bullshit.

7) Once they were being pretty athletic and adventurous which was going great until Viktor accidentally pulled a muscle and Yuuri teased him mercilessly about being an old man who couldn’t keep up with his athlete boyfriend anymore. The main problem came when Viktor had to explain to people at the rink how he pulled a muscle because neither of them wanted to tell the truth. Everyone figured it out anyway.

6) Once Viktor forgot to lock the bedroom door and Makkachin jumped onto the bed between them mid sex. They both screamed and jumped apart and it completely ruined the mood and then they couldn’t bring themselves to push Makkachin off the bed and lock him out again to continue because he looked too happy.

5) There was a time when Viktor convinced Yuuri to try being blindfolded which Yuuri decided to try out. But they didn’t bet on Yuuri being really jumpy without his vision and prone to startling so at one point Viktor leant down to give him a blowjob without warning him first and he jerked on instinct and accidentally kicked Viktor in the face. It took them about 10 minutes to stop the nosebleed but they were able to laugh about it afterwards once Yuuri stopped panicking.

4) They were once in the shower together and Viktor decided to try and pick Yuuri up like in chapter 13. Except he didn’t account for the fact that it is a lot harder to pick someone up in the shower surrounded by water and so he slipped, dropped Yuuri and broke their shower rack by grabbing onto it to try and stay upright.

3) Yuuri really likes pulling Viktor’s hair during sex and Viktor really likes getting his hair pulled during sex. But one time Yuuri pulled a bit too hard and accidentally yanked some of Viktor’s hair out. It was only a few strands and didn’t actually hurt that much but they then had to stop because Yuuri needed to comfort an inconsolable Viktor over the fact that he thought that he was losing his hair.

2) At the start of their relationship Viktor did a lot of the dirty talk which they’re both really into. But he was really keen for Yuuri to try it too. But Yuuri wasn’t that confident at the beginning and he could never think about what to say and felt really awkward so he was never confident enough to do it. So one day during sex Viktor suggested that Yuuri try dirty talking in Japanese to see if he felt more comfortable doing it that way (and because Viktor has a very badly hidden language kink). But Yuuri kind of panicked and just blurted out the first thing that came into his mind which was ‘I love katsudon’. Viktor didn’t speak fluent Japanese but he still recognised the word Katsudon and so they had to stop because he was laughing too hard to continue. He managed to convince Yuuri that it was actually pretty hilarious after a while of Yuuri being mortified and it became a private joke between them.

1) At one point Yuuri started to get a bit more open and comfortable with asking to try out new things with Viktor, who is ecstatic about it. One of the things he suggested was trying out handcuffs but he got really embarrassed and just bought the first cheap pair that he could find. Everything went fine until after they were finished when it turned out that the locking mechanism had jammed which meant that neither the key nor the emergency switch worked. So Viktor was stuck handcuffed to the bed and they were both way too embarrassed to call anyone for help. They eventually managed to get them off and laughed about it once it was over. Later Viktor bought Yuuri some high quality handcuffs as a present and made him promise never to use cheap sex toys again.

Just a Sterek drabble I wrote on this rainy Sunday afternoon because I started my day off watching an absolutely SOUL-CRUSHING ep of House, M.D. and needed a little something to cheer myself up afterwards.

In case it’s not your thing: this fic features Stiles/OMC, but not for long. ;) Rated T, under 1k words

Sometimes Stiles’ new boyfriend can be fairly awesome, like when they stay up until three a.m. together playing video games and making out, or like that time… like… Well, pretty much all the examples Stiles can think of right now are sex things, but. But Jake’s a nice guy, kind of. He’s hot. He’s so hot Stiles still can’t believe he wants to date Stiles, and there are times when he can be a lot of fun.

Then there are the times (like today) that have Stiles questioning all his life choices, especially this one.

“Stiles, stop texting Lydia,” Jake says. No—practically whines. Seriously.

“Uh, no?” Stiles hits send, because Jake is not the boss of him. “We’re still on the ground. We don’t have to turn our phones off yet.”

And now Jake is pouting at him, like he’s six years old. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

Stiles can’t help but roll his eyes. “Stop trying to tell me who I can and cannot text. It’s creepy and controlling.”

Jake tries to put his hand over Stiles’, and it actually makes Stiles’ skin crawl a little bit. Stiles crosses his arms over his chest, hands safely tucked into his armpits. In retrospect, inviting Jake along on a trip to Hawaii was probably a bad idea when they’ve only been dating for three months.

Jake crosses his arms, too. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m not allowed to get a little possessive?”

“A little possessive? This is not ‘a little possessive.’ This is annoying and ridiculous and petty and invasive and… Look, yes, I’m bisexual, but Lydia and I are just friends. We’re always going to be friends, and I’m never cutting her out of my life for a boyfriend. The end. So you can stop being a jealous dick—”

“Or what?”

Stiles can’t believe they’re having this conversation right now. “Or maybe we shouldn’t be dating after all.”

Jake runs a hand through his sandy blond prince-charming hair and snorts. “Please, this relationship is over when I say it is. Or do you seriously think anyone else is lining up to date you?”

For a moment Stiles is actually speechless, because how has he spent the last three months thinking this guy was attractive? How did he overlook this level of douchebaggery? Some kind of witchcraft, probably.

That’s when the guy in the row ahead of them turns around in his seat, looks Stiles straight in the eye, and says without even one hint that he’s joking, “I would date you.”

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Get Out.

Originally posted by tess453

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Deciding to stay in for a date, Peter and the Reader are faced with annoying and embarrassing comments from the whole team, who are unaware of their relationship.

Word Count: 2,428

Warnings: language, fluff, annoying avengers (??), embarrassed!Peter, embarrassed!Reader, cuteness, LOTR trilogy. (Let me know if I missed any)

A/N: Alright homies, I apologize it has taken me so long to upload something. I’ve been reaally stressed. So hopefully this is okay? For the anon that requested this, I hope you like it. I’d love some feedback, as always. Enjoy reading!


Dark, gray clouds blocked any source of light from shining through the big, thick glass windows surrounding every inch of the building.

The entire tower was filled with a solemn mood that spread into every corner and room.

Most of the team dreaded days like these, since it put a damper on their mood, (especially Steve).

You, however, cherished days like these the most.

It’s where you find your peace and inner self, no matter how depressing that may sound.

It helps you relax and release any stresses that corrupt your thoughts.

But the best reason of all is that you don’t have to leave the house, even if you had a date with Peter tonight.

However, thinking that idea through, you realized something.

The whole team would be here.

With Peter and you.

During your date.

Well, fuck.

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You Look Like You Need a Drink (M)

Originally posted by hidden--demons

Summary: After a bad week with the worst luck imaginable, you happen upon a local dive bar run by an attractive young bartender who livens up your evening.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 7,221

Warning: Bartender!Yoongi, tattooed!Yoongi, sexual harassment, sexual themes, power play, manners kink, alcohol use, profanity

A/N: I wrote this last year for my dear friend’s birthday and swore this fic would never see the light of day. I have since “remastered” it, so to speak, so I’m sharing it here. SURPRISE!

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a friend like mine

 Summary: A discussion about a break up leads to….interesting revelations. || Sebastian x Reader || part 1 of 2

Warnings: discussion of kinks, [in the second part] —> smut and all that entails, thigh riding, choking, some other stuff but i’ll put it in the warnings for the next one

Note: :))))

Originally posted by buckynsebimagines

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hugealienpie  asked:

I see prompts are open yay! Please tell me all about Ford finding out about Bitty and Jack.

Ooh, this is interesting, because I don’t feel like it’d be an announcement, but just something Ford finds out when Jack visits or the like. I mean, it could go the other way, like Lardo could be, “heads up, Bitty’s dating our ex-captain” and Ford would be like, “okay? why are you telling me?” (She’s a theatre background, what is a Bad Bob to her?) I think she’d be pretty chill with it, and coming from theatre, like being gay is not an issue, esp in college (and even at the professional level) and esp if we go with the oft reblogged “Ford is gay” headcanon.

But here is a small fic that is only half based on the above…

Ford double checks the dozens of pages Lardo has given her for the upcoming roadie. She thought dealing with dressing room allocation was hard (and it is, one hundred percent) but figuring out room allocations is somehow worse, particularly when she’s new, and hockey players are more superstitious than the girl who played Johanna in Sweeney.

“So, who was it I’m meant to pair Oliver with?” Ford asks, grabbing for the red pen she’d stuck into her bun earlier. She comes out with a green one. It’ll do.

“Wicks. But really, he’d be fine with any of the guys in his year.”

Ford makes a note on one of the pages. “Okay, then I think I’m–Oh, shit.”

“What is it?” Lardo looks up from her sketchbook.

Ford double checks through all her sheets before she says anything. She’s not worrying, because there’s no time for that, she’s just already hating the amount of extra work she’ll need to do to fix things.

“I’ve left Eric, um, Bitty,” Ford corrects herself, still getting used to hockey nicknames, “off the rooming list.”

“Oh, that. Nah, you’re good.” Lardo goes back to her drawing. “He stays with his boyfriend when we’re playing up there.”

“Boyfriend?” Ford double-checks.

“Yeah. He’s in Providence. And he’ll drive Bitty to the games and practices and stuff. Should’ve emailed you that. My bad.”

“That’s fine.” Ford grabs another pen from her hair, forgetting she already has one in front of her. It’s red this time. “Just thought I was going to have to redo an entire afternoon’s worth of work.”

“Right,” Lardo says. “I can see why the minor freak out.”

“Excuse you, I did not freak out.” It’s half a lie. Ford has so many notes on these sheets, but she’s not freaking out, she’s managing. It’s all part of it.

Lardo looks up and smiles at her. “Knew you’d be fine at this.”

Ford takes the compliment with a gracious nod, and goes back to ticking off the rooming list against the team names. All accept Eric.

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Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


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2tired2care  asked:

Pst hi I LOVE YOUR FICS you have no idea how much they give me life <3 <3 I came across this really cute (and frankly heartbreaking) AU: "[burgler gently wakes me] you live like this?" (stolen from a post I saw on fb) and I kinda just need Stiles to do everything he can to make Derek's life better? THANK YOU SO MUCH :D

It IS frankly heartbreaking… which means I’m totally into it.

(now also on AO3!)

***

Derek definitely went to sleep alone. He always does, these days. It doesn’t explain why he drifts awake in the middle of the night to the feeling of someone lightly poking his shoulder.

It’s probably not a good sign that when he opens his eyes and sees a gangly teenage boy in a red hoodie and grubby-looking black fingerless gloves standing over him, he doesn’t startle. His claws don’t come out; his eyes don’t flash. He just feels… resigned.

“You live like this?” the guy says, soft. Almost pitying. “I mean. You actually live here?”

That seems too obvious, not to mention too insulting, to merit a response. “What are you doing here?” Derek asks instead. His voice comes out low and rough. This is the first time in days he’s had any reason to say anything. “This is private property.”

The guy shifts on his feet and sticks his hands under his armpits uncomfortably. “Okay, straight to the awkward questions. I like that.”

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Broken Heart

Originally posted by jeffatkinsimagines

The music was blaring loudly from the large speakers in the gym, lights flickering back and forth between different colors of the spectrum, the smell of punch lingered in the air mixed with alcohol that some students had managed to sneak in.

(Y/N) sat on the bleachers with her head down, looking at her short and shiny black heels that were beginning to make her feet ache. Reaching down, she took them off and wiggled her toes for a moment before sighed and leaning back against the bleacher behind her.

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