HI GUYS!!! So I FINALLY sat down and recorded something, because how could I not after watching the perfection that was Islands and hearing this wonderful song? I did a ton of experimenting when I recorded this and tried stuff I had never done before… but I think I’m really happy with how it came out! :)
Also, thank you @cosmicowly for posting the chords!! If you haven’t heard their beautiful piano cover of this song yet, GO LISTEN TO IT!
My last week in Yosemite my roommate Devin and I repelled off of the breathtakingly beautiful 318ft Vernal Falls. It is one of the coolest things I did while in Yosemite and looking at these images make me miss Yosemite so much, I miss being surrounded by such beauty. *** be sure click on the images to see the large view and read the photo captions***
Every photo I make falls short of the true beauty my eyes see. It’s impossible to completely capture a single moment of true beauty in life with just one frame. Beauty isn’t meant to be seen, it’s meant to be experienced.
All I seek is freedom: ISTP All I seek is adventure: ESTP All I seek is passion: ISFP All I seek is company: ESFP All I seek is structure: ISTJ All I seek is control: ESTJ All I seek is approval: ISFJ All I seek is closure: ESFJ All I seek is identity: INFP All I seek is connection: ENFP All I seek is understanding: INFJ All I seek is harmony: ENFJ All I seek is objectivity: INTP All I seek is novelty: ENTP All I seek is truth: INTJ All I seek is achievement: ENTJ
Caroline always felt nostalgic about trains. No matter how much had changed to conform to modern standards, sitting beside the window as the world passed by brought back warm memories. Years, hell, a century and a half passed by, and one look across the cart to her deviled-eyed companion brought back the vivid flashback of their introduction as if she were the grimy-little-stowaway again.
She was just a small thing but oh so clever. She knew she could disguise herself amongst the bags under the rags she wore.
She hadn’t planned for anyone to find her, let alone a vampire, or to witness him nearly tear the woman’s head from her neck in a monstrous act. Despite the blood smeared across his neck, she could identify him as an attractive man, but when he smiled down at her, she saw behind the façade and wondered if it would be her last day on earth.
He brought her up to his room at the dead of night.
She was terrified. She knew many things could transpire. She heard too many tales of men terrorizing women, especially vulnerable girls such as herself. He was too strong for her to escape his grip and she wondered why she couldn’t resign herself to her fate, to be violated and disposed of, just like the corpse who hid in her previous place in the luggage compartments.
Yet, she didn’t cry.
She wondered why but couldn’t figure it out.
Compulsion, she remembered. He swiftly lifted her up and down the carpeted hall, dragging her numb body without a single complaint.
“What’s your name?”
They were on friendlier terms after day break. He offered her breakfast, a game of cards, and lulled her into a sense of safety she couldn’t imagine possible after the ordeal only hours before.
“I’m Kol. Where are you from?”
She was vague. He knew why.
“I see. As am I. It looks like we have something in common, Sweets.”
She thought little of the name. Not at first. It became a thing: Darling was given to the ones who amused him but were ultimately doomed. Sweets was a term of endearment, there was a chance the recipient might come out unscathed if he felt merciful. But over time, the name became less and less common, replaced by her given name. And she still stood.
“You’re quite good at this,” he mused. She had won the last two rounds. “Are you cheating?” She shook her head. “Show your deck.” She shook her head. “Not fair, sweets.”
“Life’s not fair,” she murmured. She was bold. Had it been anyone else, certainly Kol wouldn’t have been as lenient.
“I can’t disagree,” Kol nodded. “Let me show you a trick or two. Have you ever gambled before?” She shook her head. He grinned. “Oh, come on, you must have played a game or two of high stakes.”
“I’m only eight.” Caroline deadpanned.
His brows raised.
“There is so much to learn. Watch carefully, sweets.”
She was a quick learner. Three days they spent in that cabin, bonding over card games and stories. Kol brought her to a table game on the last day. She was understandably nervous. One man had the idea she was the reward if he won. Kol had other ideas. Hours into the game, with Caroline preening over Kol’s shoulder subtly to see his deck, watch his moves, and memorize the rules of the game, the men grew anxious and demanded an end.
It was a foolish mistake on their part.
They were the only ones to walk out of that game alive. That was her second bit of carnage, many more would come.
“What are you doing?”
Caroline was nervous. She swallowed painfully and rose from the floor, ignoring the wet spot on her knees where the blood soaked her tattered skirt. She gripped the towel with all her might and wearily brought her eyes to meet his, straining her neck.
“Cleaning up,” she spoke softly.
He shook his head and held out his hand.
“No need, sweets.”
“But… if someone finds them…” she muttered.
“It is not our problem,” he assured. “Look at you. You’re a mess.” Nonetheless, he smiled. The blood on her knees, straining her skirt, and the red around her hands reminded him of what she could be if she were a vampire. She was too young, and while she had extraordinary control and curiosity for her age, it’d be too cruel to condemn her this short in her life. She would have more advantageous if given the gift of immortality much later into her adolescence. “Let’s find a suitable replacement,” he gestured to her tarnished garments.
“Okay,” she nodded. He tugged off her bonnet and ruffled her hair.
In that moment, he thought of his sister. She reminded him so much of Rebekah. Perhaps that’s why he didn’t kill her that week. Or he was lonely and found her company, regardless of the resemblance, comforting – not that he’d ever admit it.
He was always messy while she was neurotically clean. It proved to be a running joke and at times, their saving grace when she thwarted any pursuers from their trail with her tendencies to cover their tracks – and the carnage that usually overlapped.
“Have you been out here?” Kol inquired.
She shook her head. She began to talk more. She grew out of her shell when she found his presence less threatening – and more protective, whenever that happened, she wasn’t quite sure.
“I’ve heard stories.” She smiled. “People come out here for new beginnings. They seek adventure. I want that. I want to start anew, to ride a horse across the desert, to rob a bank,” she laughed. “I wouldn’t have been able to do that at home. I’d be like my mother – married, stuck in a loveless marriage, and miserable. I don’t want that.”
“I could help you,” Kol offered. “Have you robbed a bank before?”
“I’m only eight,” she laughed.
“We’ll work our way up there. Have you ridden a horse?”
“No,” she frowned. “We only had one and Dad took her with him. Mom was too scared I’d fall off, so I wasn’t allowed.”
“We’ll rectify that,” Kol promised.
“I’d like that,” she smiled. She saw hordes of buffalo pass by. She never saw anything like it. Her eyes widened, excited by the new sights.
She has seen so many things through the glass panes of a rolling train. Great cities, untamed wilderness, quiet countryside, you name it. They all had a story. She could appreciate all of them.
“Well Caroline, it appears our stop is nearby. What do you say, want to join me?”
“Where are we going?”
“Colorado City. It’s rough but you’ll survive it. I bet you this stack you will.”
That stack was her first betting money. She lost the first round but recovered quickly. Kol taught her well. She relished in the faces of the losers – men who plundered their fortunes to the hands of a girl no older than nine. She wasn’t old enough to drink but that didn’t stop her from taking a celebratory shot of whiskey. It burned. She stuck to cider for a while after that experience. Nonetheless, she split her winnings with her new mentor who splurged on women, booze, and horses.
She saved one half of her part for future endeavors and used the other to buy three new dresses.
They were in a luxury cabin, isolated from the rest. He claimed the loveseat, enjoying a cigar, while she practiced her tricks. She had made quite a name for herself, usually winning honestly, but in the handful of incidents she found it necessary, she proved to be a talented deceiver.
Luck would only get you so far.
She turned and smiled.
“Very,” she confirmed.
She was older now. Three years had passed.
“It seems you are, too,” she teased, noting the shadow of a woman who had entertained him moments ago. “Satisfied?”
“Very,” he returned jovially.
“I’m surprised she could walk. You usually like to take an extra bite,” she observed.
“The night is still young. Ah, you know I’d never subject you to endure such festivities. I’d dismiss you before I’d engorge.”
Caroline took is as a sign of respect. She usually retired to the main hall, conversing with the gentlemen or woman that remained, while Kol entertained his flavor of the night. She only walked in on him a handful of times and avoided the topic each time.
“But,” he countered, “should you ever have questions, I’d happily oblige in the dirty details of adult pleasure. It’d be a shame should you be disappointed by someone who’s inadequate in the area.”
“Kol,” she whined, red in the face. “Not now.”
He laughed, enjoying her embarrassment. He missed having those simple interactions with his siblings. Caroline was a wonderful substitute.
“I’m just saying, Sweets,” he shrugged. “Take charge. Make him work for it. Or her, should you ever steer that way. And don’t sell yourself short. It’s an activity that should satisfy both.”
“Unless one ends up dead,” she remarks dully.
“All in good fun,” he toasted.
He killed the majority of her lovers, she mused. He was rather protective of the blonde and when she was old enough to muster thoughts beyond the lock of lips. She killed the rest when they pushed her boundaries. At first, she was stunned, then angry, then grateful. It was an odd realization, but she knew his reaction stemmed from something sincere.
MORE OF THIS AU???? I’m seriously so fucking excited, and I feel so happy and lucky to have this *cries* honestly thank you for writing more!!! You’re a fucking angel, and i hope you’ll keep going haha
Koroline is the best~~ and i loved this look at their past, how they all started, how they worked together…it’s really nice and I’m in love :D also how fucking cute are they? even in the midst of murder and blood loool I’m super in love with this AU, and your writing!!
@arrenemris she wrote more about your wonderful AU!!!! Everyone should read this!
Epicures believe you must stay upbeat and keep your
possibilities open to assure a good life. Consequently, Epicures seek
pleasurable options, and are optimistic and adventurous; they also avoid
pain, and can be uncommitted and self-serving.
Focus of attention - Multiple options and idealized future plans
Life lesson - To reclaim and accept all of life, the pleasures and the pains, in the present moment
Speaking style - Sevens are exuberant, fast-paced, spontaneous, analytical and
idea-oriented. Others may perceive Sevens as quickly shifting topics,
making excuses, self-absorbed and indifferent to others’ input.
What Type Sevens tell us about themselves
Life is an adventure!
I seek pleasure and have an insatiable appetite for new experiences.
I am optimistic, active and energetic.
I see multiple options, but have difficulty with commitment.
I do not like limits and avoid boredom.
Relating to Sevens
Join them in having fun and envisioning new possibilities.
Appreciate their stories and positive ideas.
Let them know what you want or need from them.
Support them to move into painful situations and commitments.
Listen to their suggestions and avoid insisting on one way of doing things.
Psychology As movers and forward thinkers, Sevens usually are optimistic
and positive with an interest in many topics and activities. They avoid
limits and prioritize fun in travel, adventure and intellectual
pursuits. They can be critical, frustrated or bored when reality doesn’t
meet their idealized vision. Sevens find it challenging to focus in
depth or to stay the course in work and relationships. Slowing down,
being in the moment, and learning to tolerate their own and other
people’s suffering can bring needed balance.
Basic Proposition - You can avoid pain and frustration by inventing options, opportunities and adventures.
Defense Mechanism Rationalization – staying in the head, or explaining
away or justifying feelings and behaviors in order to avoid pain or
Sevens use rationalization to avoid suffering and to maintain a
self-image of being OK. They tend to see life through rose-colored
glasses, reframing everything positively. Thinking of new options and
possibilities allows Sevens to leave the present moment with its
limitations and live in a seemingly boundless future.
Awareness Practice Observe your habit of mind or focus of attention with as
little judgment as possible. Ask yourself the following questions, while
noticing your feelings and how your body responds:
How am I distracted by new and exciting ideas and activities?
How do positive options and opportunities absorb my attention and energy?
In what ways do I forget others’ feelings or needs?
How do I respond to challenges or obstructions to my plans, ideas or actions?
In what ways do I avoid distress, pain or negative feedback?
How am I insatiable?
Spirituality Type Seven’s journey is to welcome all of life as it exists in
the present moment – fear, pain, sadness, boredom and limitation, as
well as pleasure, joy, excitement and options. Their tasks are to
simplify their lives, delay gratification, empathize more with others,
and steady their attention in the here and now.
Path of Integration
Mental: Planning > Work Emotional: Gluttony> Constancy
The aspect of awareness called the Inner Observer allows us to
witness the internal patterns that drive outer behavior. The practice
consists of focusing inwardly and becoming aware of the thoughts,
sensations and other objects of attention that arise within us. As we
become more fully present, our type patterns begin to relax and we
become more receptive.
For Sevens, take a moment to reflect on the following principles:
Uncomfortable or “negative” emotions are an integral, valuable and unavoidable part of being human.
Noticing hunger for stimulation and gratification is a reminder to return to the present.
When we stay on the surface, we miss the depth of experience and pleasure.
Feedback and criticism are opportunities for learning and growth.
There is a difference between a real feeling and the idea of a feeling.
Somatics As mental types, Sevens’ energy and attention tend to go up
into the head and out into the world. Physically loose and flexible,
their body armor is less about muscular tension and more about patterns
of avoidance as seen in the upper chest and shoulders. Sevens retreat
from sad or painful feelings into their minds; their challenge is to
stay grounded in their bodies.
If you are a Seven…
Your task is to balance your tendency to move up with
turning inward and down into your body and feelings. Breathe into your
belly, notice physical sensations in your lower body, and feel your feet
on the ground. When you notice you have left your body for the
pleasures (or worries) of the mind, practice dropping back down to your
belly and feet. Although this may not feel like fun at first, it will
become more pleasant over time as you open up a whole new realm of
experience, focus priorities, feel your feelings, and develop your
capacity for emotional intelligence.
Tea in a tree, the John Muir tree, with my good friend Dede!! We found the best spot about 60ft up, a huge branch with room for the both of us. We sat there for awhile watching the sun slowly creep it’s way into the valley. It’s beautiful moments with beautiful people in which I live for, today was a good day.
***click on the image to see a larger view and caption***