This is a headcanon born out of Viria’s art of Kagehina as third years and Hinata’s knee brace on it :”)
Hinata’s this kind of person that thinks he’s never enough. He’s always haunted by the feeling of still lacking compared to his teammates, that he’s still capable of much more (which is true, of course, but his patience fails him here). And so he trains on his own, extra. He does it quite often, but only tells the rest of the team about a couple days per week.
Aching muscles, sweat streaming down his face and inability to do anything at all after he’s practiced — all that gives him some faint confidence that he’s making enough efforts, that he tries hard and gives it his best. But every ball he can’t receive and every blocked and received attack of his start subconsciously pressing him down, literally whispering that no, you’re still not doing enough if you still can’t get a higher success rate. Hinata does understand that it’s impossible to never get blocked, but at the same time can’t stop himself from striving for the best results, cause a small part of his mind still fears he’s not good enough for the team. He won’t admit it to himself though, realizing that such thoughts really are stupid.
But stupid thoughts often lead to stupid acts: slowly, gradually, so that even the person himself wouldn’t notice.
Kageyama starts suspecting something first, but Hinata always waves it off and comes up with something. He sees that Kageyama doesn’t really buy it, but there’s nothing he can do at that point, so he drops it. To Hinata’s surprise, soon his teammates start asking the same questions, and he genuinely doesn’t understand why are they worried (especially when Tsukishima suddenly showed interest in his training schedule, now that was creepy). So he tells them the same stuff he tells Kageyama. Hinata knows that they will worry for no reason if they find out, and he prefers to stick to his own schedule.
At some point his knee starts bothering him. At first Hinata simply ignores it, then he starts using an ointment. Dull ache even makes him reconsider things a few times, makes him think hard whether he should really keep this up, but every mistake at a practice, every failure, no matter how small, pushes him in the wrong direction, and so he keeps going.
Gradually interrogations initiated by Kageyama turn into fights. At some Hinata tells him, well, so what if I train some extra, why do you care so long as it allows me to get better? Kageyama tries to beat some sense into him, because he noticed how Hinata started getting tired quicker, got less lively and was just… sort of unsteady on his own feet, but Hinata doesn’t hear him. They end up yelling at each other, and Hinata retorts that Kageyama with his flawless technique can’t possibly understand him.
They have the next day off, but Hinata still comes to have some practice (the school grounds are open and by then the access to the gym keys was easy) — party to let some steam and frustration out, to shake off all the doubts that Kageyama’s words triggered, but mostly just for the practice itself. It always helped him to get rid of useless thoughts and generally feel better.
And so he trains, stubbornly ignoring faint yet persistent pain in his left knee. He really gets a little better, but not for long. At some point, while practicing his spike against the wall, he jumps and hits, but his knee buckles during the landing and he falls. Hinata groans but doesn’t think much of it — not his first fall, not his last. He thinks that he might already be tired and it’s late, so he should probably go, but when he starts standing up, his knees buckle again and he falls back.
He’s surprised cause that never happened before, his legs being unable to hold his weight. Hinata tries again and again, using his arms as support, but ends up just falling and falling, while the knee pain is getting sharper. He manages to crawl to the bench, gritting his teeth and trying to hold back tears, cause it really hurts badly by now. Hinata finds his cellphone and realizes that he doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to call his mother and worry her, but he also knows that he can’t make it anywhere on his own. Hinata taps against his leg nervously and attempts to stretch it a little, hoping that the pain will pass, but it doesn’t. He’s so frustrated he wants so smash his head against the wall. Hinata can’t do anything without help and for some reason he can’t think about anyone but Kageyama.
But can he really call him? After all the fights and warnings about potential consequences, could Hinata call him and tell that yes, he was right, Hinata fucked up his knee and really, really needed his help?
Hinata is lost, his right knee hurts a little, the left one is just wrecked, and by then he’s really, really scared. Feeling his eyes getting wet, he calls Kageyama after all. Kageyama picks up and answers with his voice so calm and causal that Hinata’s reluctant crying intensifies, he really doesn’t want to tell him anything. But he does, explains the situation and hears Kageyama rushing out somewhere as soon as he mentions his knee and the fall. Be right there, he says and asks some other questions that Hinata can’t answer because of the worsening knee pain. He hates it and wants to break his phone, he hates that he had to tell Kageyama and had to ask for his help, hates that it came down to this, hates himself for not listening to Kageyama earlier.
Kageyama makes it there in no time, worried and frightened; carefully, he helps Hinata get up, and Hinata subconsciously squeezes the arms supporting him, Kageyama’s presence soothing him a little. But Kageyama himself is actually beyond scared, cause that’s what he feared most all along, that’s the worst nightmare becoming reality. And the worst is that he has no idea what to do, and the more he watches Hinata being in pain, the more his heart swells and thoughts get foggy, arms starting to shake.
He remembers the time when he found Oikawa-san on the gym floor in junior high, just the same, trying to hold back tears. Naturally, he called Iwaizumi-san straightaway and didn’t know all that well what happened afterwards, but the image of Oikawa knocked down on the floor probably got burnt into his memory somewhere.
And this time it was pretty much the same, only the person suffering was possibly the closest friend he ever had, and that terrifies him to the core.
He’s lost as well, and he can only press Hinata closer to himself, ignoring how awkward that might be, as if trying to calm him down. But he knows that it won’t help Hinata or his knees. And being in that position he has only one person on his mind that’s been through that and probably knows how to deal with it better that anyone else — Oikawa-san. He fishes his phone out of his pocket, trying not to disturb Hinata, and reconsiders thousands of times while doing that, cause why would Oikawa-san help him? Why would he help Hinata? But Kageyama gets panicked, and he just dials the number, stuffing all his doubts far away. He doesn’t have much choice after all.
across the fucking board, the majority of white people of all ages voted for trump! so it is really not women of color who need to get up and do this work to change this nation – it is white people! and not just white men! white women too! i see you becky! 53% of white women voted for trump! white allies, go talk to your sisters and your aunts and your mothers! stop expecting women of color (especially black women! bcus 94% of black women voted clinton!!) to get up and fight rn! we fought! it is absolutely your fucking turn.
So I follow people like @ummquestion and see all the white guilt posts and it’s just so… cringey. Like, you see posts like
“Ugh white people are so stupid (p.s. I’m white, watch how I hate myself so you POC people will see me as an ally and feel better about yourselves. please love me)”
“On behalf of all white people, I’m sorry! We’re horrible people, myself included!”
And I just shake my head because it’s so pathetic. They’re like groveling at our feet and it’s so unwarranted and unnecessary. I’m just like, ugh please stop. It’s not being humble, you’re not atoning for the sins of your ancestors or other white people. You are you, and you don’t represent or hold the guilt of the actions of anyone but yourself. Get off the floor, you’re just making your own self look pathetic. Stop looking for brownie points because you’re not getting any. Not from any self-respecting person at least. The only thing you do get is my pity as I just shake my head at how undignified you’re being.
What had begun as an unlikely friendship had evolved into something Amelia was never prepared for. She had saved his life with the intention to use it, to use him for his skills. He would have a life debt to pay her, after all, he couldn’t just say no. But their similarities had been too much to ignore and she had fallen to a pattern and he chased the loneliness away. She remained at his home, enjoying her time with him until likeness developed into something more that she profusely denies. She drank it away, laughed it away but it always kept coming back.
It took her a while to realize she was in love with him and when her feelings finally couldn’t hold themselves back, she confessed then she ran away. She had intended never to see him again but a fateful Halloween she found herself drunk and frightened and she told herself she would never see him again. But quickly she realized she had made a mistake and she never should have left him.
She told him that if he told her to leave she would and she’d never come back. But he told her to leave and her heart broke a little bit that day.