It’s unfortunate because I see women on a daily basis who obviously hate being mothers and deeply regret it, but for one thing that child didn’t ask to be born, and for another that is often in cases where an adult didn’t think about her actions and their seriousness enough and made a bad choice for herself to have kids. That’s not that child’s fault and I have sympathy for women in situations like that because they were often functionally just pressured into it by a culture that thinks women are childbearers naturally but sorry, if you fuck up and have children when you shouldn’t I’m going to feel a lot more bad for the child who didn’t ask to be brought into the world by your poor choices and is going to be treated, whether you KNOW they know it or not they are very perceptive and much smarter than most people remember and they have complicated feelings without the ability to process them, and I know people who have lifelong psychic scars because of having been treated like they were unwanted because they were. When you choose to have and keep children, you have a responsibility to raise them well, period. It’s so frustrating to see a million excuses for poor parenting- everyone fucks up, sometimes a lot, sometimes badly, but that doesn’t make it okay.
I think there are important questions for us, especially feminists, to ask about how much women can even consent to pregnancy and childrearing in a meaningful way when they are so pressured into seeing them as not just options but necessities and eventuality. But in the meantime, god, you are responsible for your actions and maybe ask yourself if you want children before you have and decide to keep them!