i see how it is, tyler

4

x

Of all of the victims, they’ve only released one name so far. 18-year-old Gina Callander. She’s beautiful. I just spent the past half hour going through her photos, her words. I wanted to know the kind of person who was taken from us after last night’s traumatizing events. I wanted to remember her name. She deserves as much.

Most prominently, she loves music. She absolutely lives for it. She’s met Ariana, Union J. She has so many photos posted from seeing Fifth Harmony, Little Mix, and One Direction live. Louis follows her on twitter, and she posted screenshots about how she immediately sent him DMs of how much she loves him (before his DM was open to the public). She travels for these concerts, for these meetings. Her excitement is palpable. She met up with Tyler Oakley and her posts brought tears to my eyes. She talks about engaging with these people with nothing but gratitude and love and amazement. She was so, so happy.

She is you. She is me. She is all of us.

I am so sorry. Sorry that these children are gone. Sorry that a safe place is now rattled. Sorry that we have to come together, yet again, in a time of crisis to lean on one another for strength. Sorry that Gina never got the chance to know how many people in the world love her.

A piece of our hearts was taken away from us last night. We have to get it back. For those who are gone, and for ourselves.

10

Ah, yes. Jane’s first love. I did say we’d get back to him.

This is going to be long and emotional so bear with me

I want to thank Mark, Ethan, Tyler, Bob, Wade, and the crew for making the Your Welcome Tour possible. I feel honored to have gone and been a part of the crowd. Everyone was so great and it was just amazing to see.

I’ve been watching @markiplier since the beginning, and it means so much to have seen him and the others throughout this whole journey. Just seeing how far everyone has come has given me just this joy, if that makes sense.

Here’s where the emotional part comes in, and as fruitless as it may be to ask, I really hope one of them reads this. Ya’ll….Ya’ll kept me alive. That may sound overdramatic, but I’m serious. When I moved down to Houston in 2013, I had absolutely everything taken from me, literally. My moving truck was literally stolen in a hotel parking lot in Dallas. All my possessions, all my childhood, gone within the night, to never be seen again. I was devastated. I was already suffering from severe anxiety and clinical depression, and that had just made it worse tenfold. I came to Houston with no friends, no possessions, just the clothes on my back and what little I had brought in a small suitcase. It was really hard–I moved here just before school let out, and I was homeschooled, so I never met anybody until the fall. I was all alone. And I thought about suicide. Mark, your videos were what I literally was living for for a few months there. Every day I’d tell myself that I had to see it through, I had your videos to look forward to. I have so much thanks that it would be impossible to voice them all.

Bob and Wade, I remember seeing you both on Mark’s channel, which is how I was introduced to you guys. Your videos kept me, and still keep me, going, too, and I’m so thankful. Both of you are so wonderful.

Tyler and Ethan, I remember when both of you were first introduced. And I remember thinking just how goddamn awesome you both were.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you all. I’m so honored to have seen the show, I’m so honored to have seen you all in person, to see the people who kept me alive and still are a reason I am alive. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Keep being awesome, guys. And thank you again.

@lordminion @markiplier

underrated twenty one pilots lyrics

  • “i don’t believe in talking just to breathe and falling selfishly”
  • “gnawing on the bishops, claw our way up their system”
  • “a mortal, rotting piece of song will help me carry on”
  • “i’m the son of all i’ve done - impostor, been fostered, then my new father drained my dirty blood”
  • “i hope they choke on smoke ‘cause i’m smoking them out the basement”
  • “my nose and feet are running as we start to travel through snow”
  • “i will carry all your shame”
  • “i asked forgiveness three times, same amount that i denied”
  • “put away all the gods your fathers served today, put away your traditions”
  • “we have enough stuff just to blow stuff up”
  • “i’m screaming submission and i don’t know if i am dying or living”
  • “i just won’t let go until we both see the light”
  • “is the blood mine or yours? don’t wanna do this anymore”
  • “am i screaming to an empty sky?”
  • “i could pull the steering wheel”
  • “then i sat up off the floor and found the breath i was searching for” 
  • “tell our dad i’m sorry”
  • “we all know somebody who knows somebody who’s doing great”
  • “hope you’re dead, ‘cause how could you sleep at a time like this?”
  • “i do not have writer’s block, my writer just hates the clock”
7

thank you for being who you are.
thank you for standing up for lgbtq+ rights and just for everything that you believe in.
i’m so proud of you and of how far you’ve come in the past few years and i’ll be forever thankful for the fact that i’m able to say that i was here to see you grow.
you’ve inspired thousands of people, you’ve helped me so much and i just.. i don’t even know how i can ever fully explain to you what you’ve done for me, just thank you!
i hope you have an amazing and super fun birthday and a year full of happiness.
i love you so much and i’m so grateful to be one of your people.

The clique often forgets how creative and introspective Josh is.

Yes, Tyler writes the music and sings the words. Yes, Josh is the quieter of the duo, and doesn’t often express what he’s thinking through lyrics. But as I was scrolling through his tumblr, I realized how creative and appreciative of beautiful things he is. Some of his older posts on instagram had poems on them, as well as his older tumblr posts. And if he wasn’t creating, he was reposting and appreciating poetry and poetry books and art and music. 

And he is also so strong. Tyler was strong as well, but Josh’s struggles are sometimes forgotten. Not only long ago when he was struggling with major anxiety, but also recently. You can see on his tumblr timeline when he went through a very hard time (i would suspect it was his breakup but his relationship is not my business so I won’t delve further into that). Josh has been through a lot, but he still creates and drums and loves with his whole heart.

He appreciates everything that has gotten him this far as well. The music, the people, the words. He loves all of those things will his whole heart, and its very apparent. He’s donated to so many charities, and really wants to do some good in this world. I can see that he views the world in the same light that an artist does. 

I think Josh has a wildly beautiful mind: something we often forget as he tends to be quieter onstage.

13 Reasons Why

Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why characters and a rating of how much I dislike them from 1 being “my baby!!!!” to 10 being “FUCK THEM THEY CAN ROT” 

Hannah Baker: Didn’t deserve everything she went through especially rape. She pushed some people away though and sometimes she was kind of idk how to word it but I didn’t like stuff about her at times. Either way she deserved so much better than what she got. Deserved to be happy with Clay. 2/10.

Clay Jensen: Will fight anyone for Hannah. He was so shy around her and didn’t know what to do whenever he was with her, he’s so precious. Sometimes there were some things he did that didn’t sit right with me but he definitely deserved a happy ending with Hannah Baker; they deserved to be happy and in love and ugh. Also… took like 4823707592 years to listen to the tapes? 2/10.

Tony Padilla: Gay POC which I love because we need more of them. I love him he was so patient with Clay and all he ever did was try and protect Hannah’s wishes. Glad he shared the tapes with Hannah’s parents because they deserved to know why she killed herself instead of being left in the dust wondering why. I was always so happy when he came on screen. CLAY LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN TAPES. 1/10.

Jeff Atkins: My pure cinnamon roll, didn’t deserve to die because of a stupid girl who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. I hate how nobody including his parents and except Clay never knew he wasn’t drunk that night he died. Just wanted Clay and Hannah together. Your fave is problematic: uses “unique” 7 times in an essay. -5435973495797/10. I love him forever, hes so great. Never did anything bad.

Justin Foley: Didn’t deserve the home life he had BUT i really hated him for what he did to Hannah and the fact that he’s a rape enabler and a rape apologist like he literally let his best friend rape his unconscious girlfriend, covered up for him, and lied to her about it and then when she found out, he STILL was justifying what he and Bryce did by telling her that he didn’t tell anyone because Bryce does all this shit for him. KNEW that whatever happened at that party was fucking Jessica up but didn’t come forward until the very end. Claims he cared for her but you don’t do that shit to someone you claim you care about. Fuck him for that. 8/10.

Jessica Davis: She was so cool and nice in the beginning but then I hated how she got mad at Hannah and slapped her for the list instead of Alex, like really??? You think she asked to be on that list?? PLEASE. But after all that, she was still nice towards her and was never ill-mannered when it came to Hannah. Also, can we talk about how she didn’t deserve to be raped??? Justin Foley DEFINITELY didn’t deserve her. YOU GO GIRL. TELL HIM YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. 5/10.

Alex Standall: He made some poor decisions making that list for a stupid reason and then letting Hannah pay the price. I somewhat like him though. I think he was a redeemable character and had a conscience (although it was too late, rip Hannah Baker) and felt that he needed to own up to it and tell the truth, was ready for whatever penalty he was gonna get. Was the only one (for a while) who thought what the others were trying to do was stupid. He definitely deserved better too, he didn’t deserve to shoot himself (or in other theories, didn’t deserve to be shot by Tyler). Please be okay…please be alive, baby. 4/10. 

Courtney Crimsen: GIRL, BYE. I hate and will always hate her character so much. Her and Bryce should just rot. She was a rape apologist and only cared about herself. Like girl I get that coming out is hard, I haven’t even done it, but to fuck up Hannah’s life like that? Are you serious? Justified Bryce’s actions to hide her truth. And she fucked up Jessica’s life too, in my opinion. She tried so hard to convince herself (and others) that Hannah was lying, Bryce isn’t a rapist, and that Jessica was never raped just so she can stay in the fucking closet. Like there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And she has two gay dads for fucks sake. 10/10 would always hate her again. 

Zach Dempsey: I think he genuinely liked Hannah but after all the shit Hannah had been through and the fact that his friends were his friends, I definitely see Hannah’s side of why she shot him down. I think he, himself, was lonely too but in different way; just because someone’s popular doesn’t mean they’re not lonely. Didn’t get compliments so he stole Hanah’s when she needed it most (I hate how he did that ugh like WHY…did you really need it?). Redeemable character, though. Also…HE KEPT HANNAH’S NOTE IN HIS WALLET!!! 5/10.

Tyler Down: Fuck him. A fucking creep. Like, he stalked people and took pictures of them when they were unaware (especially Hannah) and when she confronted him, HE FUCKING SENT THE PICTURE TO EVERYONE. Claims he “loved” Hannah but really?? FUCK HIM. Why did he even have so much guns? I’m pretty sure he’s planning a school shooting…fucking psychopath…”I can take care of myself” BOY BYE. And if he did shoot Alex, FUCK HIM EVEN MORE. 9/10.

Ryan Shaver: Didn’t respect Hannah’s wishes. Only cared about himself and poetry. Didn’t even care that Hannah didn’t want her shit to get out. I only liked him whenever he said Bryce is a rapist and that Courtney should just shut the fuck up and stop justifying Bryce’s actions. 8/10.

Marcus Cole: He cared more about himself and his reputation more than anyone. Thought he was the shit. Sexually assaulted Hannah then called her easy for refusing. 9/10.

Sheri: I liked her and she was genuinely nice but she crashed the stop sign and left a drunken Hannah at the scene and fled. Caused Jeff to die and I hate her for it. Though she reported it because she knew it was the right thing to do, it was already waaay too late. 6/10 because of Jeff.

Bryce: Rapist. Douchebag. Scum of the earth. He didn’t even think what he did was wrong. He raped two fucking girls and didn’t even feel remorse. He just thought every girl wanted him and that was that. I hate him so much, he can die. 102804802020x100000/10.

Mr. Porter: Could have tried better to stop Hannah from killing herself. She was set on suicide until she had doubts and needed just one person to help her and the one person she came to didn’t care enough to chase after her when she left his room that day. Worst. Guidance Counselor. Ever. 8/10.

so, to be blunt, the clique sucks. not all of you, no, but a majority of the clique sucks. a lot of us lack respect, not only for tyler and josh, but for other artists, bands, and their fanbase, such as melanie martinez and the crybabies. (the melanie hate was very very strong on the clique amino app)

i know i’m not being any better than they are now, by ranting about all this, but i NEED to get it off my chest.

let’s start off with the whole fake fan thing. there is no such thing as a ‘fake fan’! only NEW fans! if you meet someone who only knows the radio hits, introduce them to more songs! back when i first got into tøp, i bought a blurryface shirt with lane boy lyrics on it, despite only listening to the song a few times and i hadn’t memorized EVERY word. i wore it to church one night and a clique member ran up to me and busted out rapping the whole song and i got pretty freaked out! i told her that i’d only listened to the song maybe three times and she rolled her eyes, called me a fake fan, and left me alone with my little emo eyeliner and my little emo self. it hurt me, because she was degrading me in the fanbase for not knowing all the words to lane boy.

next let’s talk about faking suicide. that’s OBVIOUSLY not okay. suicide is a very, very serious thing that shouldn’t be joked about. i see it happen within the clique all the time, both real suicides and fake, and both hurt me very badly. but in different ways. do you realize how many people you’re hurting by faking your own death, all for attention? tyler isn’t going to write a song about you, you know, because you “died”.

now the address leaking, ah, the address leaking. that’s tyler and jenna’s personal life and their privacy. they had JUST moved into this new house! they must have felt so unsafe in their own home, which is supposed to be a place of comfort and protection from all you crazy, rabid fans trying to rip his clothes and steal his shoes. how safe would you feel if someone leaked your address online for the whole world to see?

next we have the crashed wedding. that whole thing was so, so disrespectful. that was josh’s friend’s wedding. if you were famous, and went to your friend’s big special day, and a fan decided to break in in the middle of it just to get a picture with you, would you feel annoyed or upset? because in the picture the girls took with him, josh looked pretty pissed. and josh has the right to say “no” to anybody who wants a picture with him. he doesn’t have to do whatever you say, your wish isn’t his command, and that goes for tyler too. ever wonder why they walk fast in public, and why tyler started hearing hoods and baseball caps to cover his face lately? to hide from us.

the crap with the crybabies. it’s nuts. y'all are making nasty comments about melanie’s appearance, and personally, i think mel is a very beautiful young woman. the real ugly people are the ones who made fun of her and her fans, they’re ugly on the inside. it isn’t right. i know that you would all feel awful if someone told you that your tooth gap was the 8th wonder of the world or made rude comments on your eyebrows. mel is a human being, and so are all of her fans, so start treating them with respect. because EVERY human deserves respect.

i understand why the clique is so hated. we’re mostly made up of awful people. i feel bad for tyler and josh because they deserve better fans than us. they deserve respectful, thoughtful people that wait patiently for new music instead of rabid, rude kids who spam their social media accounts, pretty much harassing them and pressuring them into releasing new music, commenting “i love you” constantly on their posts, and invading their personal lives and their privacy.

that’s it. that’s all i have to say. the clique sucks and i’m pretty ashamed that i even called myself a clique member. until you all clean up your act, i’m not one of you. i’m not a part of the clique anymore, i’m simply someone who listens to tøp. i’m just a fan. i refuse to identify as part of this madhouse called the skeleton clique. feel free to rb and rant about it yourself. i’m done

6

When things have gotten hard for you in your lives what got you through it and what advice can you offer those of us still struggling through the dark? 

I know how scary that can be sometimes. I go through a lot of gnarly, dark stuff too and what helps me.. my friends, my family. A lot of times when I get down to a dark point I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to see anybody but usually friends and people that you love are the only people that can pull you out. I can’t even say how many times Dyl has just helped me see the better side of things. (…) Just reach out, you know? Really talk to people. Therapy is always great. You got to try it out, see if you like it, see if it works for you. 

a long post about the message of the blurryface era

all the blurryface music videos (and heathens) seem to be pretty different from the rest but all of them have the same theme, which is that connection with friends is the best way to cope, and no one is really alone.

heathens/heavydirtysoul - these two music videos parallel each other closely as i talked about in my last post. both start with tyler in a dark and unfamiliar place. he is sad and withdrawn. then, he sees josh. josh is drumming furiously and doesn’t notice tyler. 

in both music videos tyler is represented by dark motifs (rooms, clothes, etc.) while josh’s motifs are glowing and bright. heathens - he’s drumming on a glowing box, which eventually becomes the stage on which he and tyler play. heavydirtysoul - his drums spark flames with every hit; they grow larger and eventually consume tyler as well. 

both videos reach a climax in which tyler and josh interact with each other for the first time. the light (heathens) and flame (hds) grows to a blinding maximum and the two are rocking out together. josh is no longer ignoring tyler. tyler is no longer withdrawn; he is interacting with josh and for the moment his anxiety is gone. it’s a release but it’s not a painful one. he is coping. 

and then in the end everything is back to normal - no yellow suit, no light, no flames. tyler is still there alone. blurryface is as present as ever. and the implication is that he has imagined josh. this is why josh didn’t notice tyler both times. he was merely an attempt for tyler to find someone to relate to. a cathartic figment of imagination. an imagination of light that tyler hasn’t found yet. 

and what these songs mean in relation to the videos is clear. “all my friends are heathens” - there are so many people here going through the same thing as me, and while the general public considers us freaks, we are all here together and ready to stay that way. “can you save my heavydirtysoul” - implies desperately trying to find a way out of the situation. imagining salvation so fervently that it manifests as almost reality. salvation, here, is josh and the flames. 

lane boy - this one is kind of similar to heathens and heavydirtysoul in that it starts with tyler, alone and contemplating, in the dark. but this time he’s worried about what he has done to become successful, and whether it’s good enough, and whether fame will change him and limit him. all these worries are new to the band, because they’re at the beginning of their rise to fame at this point. and in the video the dark road in the woods symbolizes that they’re in the dark and they’re being careful. stay low they say. 

and then they’re playing on a stage, and everything is forgotten, and they REFUSE to stay low. if you notice in the video the moment tyler sees josh on stage, that is the moment he breaks his silence and starts to dance. to me this video represents that even though not everyone in the crowd might like what the band is doing, and even though there are critics behind that stage and out in that world, being able to play in front of thousands, together, tyler and josh, is worth it. at the end of this video is the realization that having each other means much more than success. 

stressed out - i think this video illustrates the point the most obviously, but it does a great job handling the dichotomy between wanting to grow up and not wanting to grow up. obviously tyler and josh would rather hang out with each other, with no responsibilities, and make music without having to worry about how it is going to be received. and part of the music video is the deliberate denial of reality, and the fantasy of regressing into teenagerhood. but the last part? that’s the acknowledgement that they’re not always going to be kids and life will not be easy. tyler is walking down the street, alone, and without the backpack and the tricycle. this is a sign he’s maturing. and blurryface, he’s there too. i think that entire scene is representative of coming of age.

ride/fairly local - like heathens and heavydirtysoul, i think there’s strong evidence these videos parallel each other. both take place in an isolated location and make use of very polarized (no pun intended) environments. ride - the daytime and the nighttime. fairly local - the icy house and the red hallway. 

so in ride, i think it’s really important that the verses and the bridge take place at night. this is where tyler is doing all his worrying. he doesn’t know what his place in life is and what his relationship to others is. who would you live for, who would you die for, would you ever kill? he’s overanalyzing. he’s in the dark, both literally and metaphorically, about everything. and he doesn’t know where he stands with anyone. he can’t see. he’s wearing dark glasses at night. josh is nowhere to be seen. and then the chorus is where he lets up. he acknowledges that there is a lot to worry about and a lot to analyze over, but he can still enjoy his life. even though he’s hurling through the unfamiliar course of life he can still take the time to look at the things that he loves. and the light comes on, and he can look at the beauty that’s around him, and he can see that there are people and things that mean a lot to him even though he’s questioning it all. 

and then we have fairly local, where the majority of the video takes place in an icy house. the whole video seems very disconnected from the rest of the world. it’s freezing and desolate, both tyler and josh seem to ignore each other, and their demeanor is cold and apathetic. they’re trying very hard to remain unemotional, closed off, unable to see the damage they do to themselves and others. but that denial of their own feelings - that’s where blurryface manifests. he’s what’s causing their isolation, he’s there in the red hallway, changing into something darker and darker as tyler and josh continue to distance themselves.

and a thing i like about fairly local is that the quiet and desolate atmosphere of the video completely contradicts the lyrics of the song. “im fairly local, ive been around, ive seen the streets, youre walking down.” “the few, the proud, and the emotional.” he’s talking about the fanbase, and josh, and jenna, and everyone he’s been able to connect with. and the sense of group mentality and empathy are completely antithetical to the cold, quiet video that they represent breaking out of that atmosphere. 

tear in my heart - this one is an oddball. all the music videos from this era have the common thread of using human connection as a symbol of coping with blurryface. most videos choose to represent that with the relationship between tyler and josh, but this video uses tyler and jenna instead. i think the content of the video is pretty straightforward, and a lot of people have dived into this theory, but the scene in which jenna beats up tyler is important. a common interpretation is that this scene actually represents jenna beating up blurryface. blurryface doesn’t give up without a fight, of course. wrestling with such a character, such a deeply rooted part of your thoughts, is going to cause some distress. there is pain involved in battling your own mind, but the pain is a sign that you are able to fight, that you’re doing it. sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you’re alive and have a soul. but it takes someone to come around and show you how. jenna and tyler’s love for each other is what gives tyler the power to challenge blurryface, but he won’t be able to do that without some pain involved. 

and now i think i understand why blurryface is the name of this strange part of everyone’s brain. the literal opposite of the word blurryface is of course clear face. as in being able to see people’s faces clearly. blurryface is the opposite of seeing people for who they truly are. blurryface is the opposite of joining people who are fighting the same battles as you and really connecting with them. the opposite of blurryface is friendship and truth, and we must always find comfort in the fact that we are not alone. there are always people out there for you. and that’s how you defeat a demon. 

no one will understand how happy it made me that he had the photo of River and how much he really loves her and reminded me that she is his wife and its just so cute

or how sad it made me to remember that she’s dead and he will never see her again and him loving her hurts so damn much that i don’t know how he can bear it

or how my heart dropped when i finally realised how unimportant rose had become, she was just a girlfriend, not even that, not officially and the doctor hasnt seen her for hundreds of years and has been married for alot of them and now she hasnt even made his desk…

4

Helena Bonham Carter as Marla Singer in ‘Fight Club’ (1999) dir. David Fincher

4

SO YEAH OKAY HERE’S THE FULL STORY OF HOW I MET TYLER AND JOSH

I GOT TO THE VENUE AT 10:30AM BUT SINCE I WASNT GOING TO THE SHOW I COULD HANG AROUND INSTEAD OF WAITING IN LINE SO I WAITED NEAR THEIR BUS AT THE BACK

@sohelpmedun DROPPED BY AROUND 11:30 (but left a bit after)

AT 12 WE SAW A CREW MEMBER COME OUT OF THE BUS AND @sohelpmedun ASKED IF HE COULD GIVE MY LETTER (+ CLIQUE ART) TO THE BOYS AND HE SAID YES HE’D PUT IT ON THE TABLE IN THE BUS 

AT 12:45 I WAS SO FREEZING COLD I WENT TO BUY A COFFEE IN RECORD TIME 

AT 1:20 TYLER AND MARK ARRIVED AT THE VENUE AND WENT TO THE BUS AND I WENT UP TO THEM (KEEP IN MIND THAT THERE WAS STILL NO SECURITY BARRIER BUT I WAS SCARED I’D BE BOTHERING THEM SO I STILL KEPT A BIT OF DISTANCE). TYLER WAS WEARING A THIN OLIVE GREEN HOODIE WITH THE HOOD UP AND A BLACK/DARK BLUE CAP HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD. I SAID HI TYLER AND IM PRETTY SURE MY VOICE WENT A LIL TOO HIGH PITCHED AND HE SAID HEY HOW’S IN GOIN AND I FUCKING DIED AND I SAID GOOD AND HEY MARK AND MY MIND WENT COMPLETELY BLANK I WANTED TO TELL HIM I HAD A LETTER AND ART FOR HIM BUT ALL I COULD DO WAS STUTTER AND TYLER SAID LATER OKAY I SAID OKAY AND THEN I SAW SECURITY WAVING AT ME TO GET BACK SO I DID AND TYLER AND MARK WENT INTO THE BUS AND REAL SOON AFTER THEY WENT INTO THE VENUE

SOON AFTER I MET A COUPLE LOVELY PEOPLE WHOSE TUMBLRS I DID NOT CATCH BUT WE HUNG OUT AND WAITED FOR THE BOYS. BY THIS TIME I WAS DYING TO PEE BUT I HELD IT IN. THE SECURITY DUDE PUT UP THE BARRIER.

BETWEEN THAT TIME AND 2:30 TYLER WENT INTO THE BUS, JOSH ARRIVED AND ALSO WENT INTO THE BUS. WHEN WE SAW TYLER WE CALLED OUT TO HIM AND ASKED IF HE COULD COME OVER BUT HE SAID HE WAS COLD AND DID THAT CUTE LIL THING WHERE HE RUBBED HIS ARMS TO EMPHASIZE THAT AND IT WAS SO FUCKING CUTE I DIED AGAIN. MY MIND WENT BLANK AGAIN AND I COULDNT GET MY CAMERA OUT IN TIME SO I DIDN’T GET TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE TO HIM EXCEPT HI. WHEN JOSH GOT ON THE BUS WE YELLED HI TOO AND HE SAID HE WOULD COME SEE US LATER AND I YELLED I GOT ART FOR YOU BUT I WASN’T SURE IF HE HEARD BC HE HAD ALREADY GOTTEN IN THE BUS

AND THEN !!!!!!!!! AT 2:30 JOSH CAME OUT AND SAID IS THERE ART FOR ME SO THAT MEANS HE FUCKING HEARD ME AND I DIED YET AGAIN BUT APPARENTLY THERE WAS A GIRL WHO MADE ART FOR HIM AND SHE GAVE IT TO HIM AND IT LOOKED RLY GOOD IT WAS LIKE OIL PAINTING OR SOMETHING. ANYWAYS JOSH SAID HE COULDN’T STAY LONG BUT HE COULD TAKE PICTURES AND. HERES THE BEST PART. I ASKED HIM DID HE SEE MY LETTER AND HE SAID WHERE IS IT DID YOU GIVE IT TO SOMEONE AND I SAID YES HE SAID HE’D PUT IT ON YOUR TABLE AND HE SAID OKAY THEN I’LL SEE IT LATER AND BY THIS POINT MY BRAIN WAS ON AUTO FUCKING PILOT I DONT KNOW HOW I DIDNT JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM OR PEE MYSELF BUT I HELD MY SHIT TOGETHER AND DIED FOR LIKE THE MILLIONTH TIME. I TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM AND HE WENT INTO THE VENUE.

I FUCKING MET TYLER JOSEPH AND JOSH DUN LOOK AT THAT HAIR THOSE CURLS HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL UP CLOSE AND NICE HE IS A LITERAL FUCKING ANGEL AND AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM GONNA GO WAIT OUTSIDE AFTER THE SHOW TO SEE IF I COULD CATCH THEM AGAIN 

hallelujah

Title: Hallelujah 
Pairing: Tyler/Reader
Rating: Mature
Warnings: CHURCHBOY TYLER. Dirty talk, daddy kink, shyness, needy!Tyler, fluffy shit, all sorts of fun I hope you’re gonna like.
A/N: You guys have been begging for this, so I worked it up as best as I could. I really hope you all like it, because it was fun to write.

Originally posted by lightninglime

Keep reading

Theory:

Anathema was written by Josh.

I know it sounds like some random theory, but keep reading.

A while back, I read a story that someone who met Josh posted. She wrote a detailed account of seeing him in a diner, giving him a letter, and having him write out some words from Anathema. the end of the story, she mentioned that Josh told her he had come up with the title for the song. Obviously this doesn’t mean he had written it, but several times Josh and Tyler have said that they write the poetry that contributed to the songs together, so there is a high chance.

Secondly, examine the lyrics. The whole song is about an affliction of the mind, and how the songwriter wishes it would go away. How it tortures them and takes something away. The lyrics in these songs are something that I, and anyone with anxiety, can strongly relate to. We know that Josh struggles with anxiety. While I don’t know exactly what he has been through, or is going through, I know that the lyrics are something that those who worry can relate to.

Josh also used to sing backup for this song. He doesn’t do this for every song, and obviously he had such a connection with it that he took the time to learn the lyrics. We know Josh struggles with being the center of the attention and is insecure about his voice. My guess is that this song meant a lot to him - enough for him to use his voice in it.

Finally, the last piece of evidence I’ve come up with:

We all know that in the live version of Anathema, the stage goes dark and Tyler gets on the drums and raps. Josh disappears. Like always, the attention is gravitated towards Tyler. But why? Isn’t Josh capable of drumming by himself and carrying the song? My theory is that in this moment, Tyler is standing in place of, or representing, Josh. Josh struggles with anxiety and insecurity, so Tyler takes his place to show a moment of transparency to the crowd. Through Tyler, Josh expresses what he’s going through and what the song means to him. Why else would Tyler be on the drums while rapping?

This theory could very well be incorrect, and have nothing to do with Josh, but you can’t deny there is some valid points.

(every time a song is played live by twenty one pilots, there is someone in the audience that the very song means the world to them)