i see her more as a december actually

I decided to answer this question from @conspiracyranting in the form of a text post so that I could add it to the Onision tag, and because it’s a subject that I’ve been planning to cover for a while. And the answer to your question is: yes, absolutely. You nailed it. In this case - at least while we’re talking about Onision - I do think that you used the right term when you described his reaction as “narcissistic rage”. I think I may have even argued exactly the same point in one of my previous posts.

Before I continue, however, I first want to define what the term ‘narcissistic rage’ means from a psychological standpoint.

Narcissistic rage is a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth. Narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist feels that their hidden, ‘true self’ has been revealed. This may be the case when the narcissist has a “fall from grace”, such as when their hidden behaviors or motivations are revealed, or when their importance is brought into question. Narcissistic injury is a cause of distress and can lead to a dysregulation of behaviors, as seen in narcissistic rage.

To the narcissist, the rage is directed towards the person that they feel has slighted them; to other people, the rage is incoherent and unjust. This rage impairs their cognition, therefore impairing their judgment. During the rage, they are prone to shouting, fact distortion, and making groundless accusations.

(Source)

And, as you pointed out, Blaire White’s criticism of Onision’s videos, opinions, appearance, actions, behavior, and “logic” triggered a narcissistic rage in him, because she dealt a heavy blow to his ego by doing so - she questioned his perception of himself as perfect. This is also why he spends so much time debasing his exes and arguing with his critics (rather than creating quality content), producing thirty minute-long response videos to even the most minor of allegations being levied against him: his ego just cannot let it go. In his eyes, he has been slighted; he must level out the playing field again by getting revenge. (Sadly, his fans - who lack objectivity, and are mostly too young to understand the concept or value of skepticism, due process, and researching both sides of the story before forming an opinion - lap this up, and readily reflect his anger because they idolize him. The reason why his responses are generally so disproportionate to the criticism is because of the enormity of his fan base - he gets a ton of attention and admiration from teenage girls for making those videos, not to mention that sweet, sweet ad revenue.)

However, despite the fact that he will defend himself against anyone who criticizes him in any way, anybody who watches his videos can spot this pattern: he especially hates being criticized by women. And, as you and many other YouTubers, anti-O’s, and casual observers have astutely noted, he seems to be particularly triggered by Blaire White. I personally haven’t seen the videos that she’s made about him (although I did see her do a livestream about him with MrRepzion and two other YouTubers back in December, so I AM somewhat familiar with her viewpoint and speaking style), so I can’t say for sure what exactly about her triggers him so much. Is it the fact that she’s transgender? Is it because she reminds him of somebody else? Is it the actual content of her arguments? Is it something else? I have no idea. But nonetheless, it is extremely obvious to even the most casual observer that something about her damages his ego more than any other YouTuber who has ever criticized him over the years, regardless of gender. Even his own fans noticed the toxicity with which he spews insults at her. His video about her (”She Lied To You…”) was so vitriolic that I actually have trouble watching it. The words he spits at her, the absolutely unhinged, unbridled hatred and rage that flashes in his eyes as he calls her a dumb bimbo cunt to his 1.9 million-strong audience of 15-year-old girls - it’s not the type of average, reasonable, justifiable anger that we all see and experience on a daily basis. (Frankly, it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up to witness. There’s just something so incredibly dark and unsettling about Onision that just his facial expressions alone make my stomach churn. Every atom in my body intuitively screams “There is something very wrong with this man” whenever I see his face.) If he felt about me the way that he feels about Blaire White, I would be terrified to live with him.

That said, Blaire White is by no means the only person who has triggered him into a narcissistic rage before. In Onision’s world - the world in which he is an omnipotent, omniscient, all-powerful, universally admired and envied god - simply disagreeing with him can trigger this. And for the people who are close to him - the people who get wrapped up in his circle, like Lainey, Billie, Sarah, or even platonic friends like Cyr - the simple act of expressing their own authentic self in his presence, without his permission or input, is threatening to him, because it challenges his grandiose view of himself as having complete power and control over the people in his life. Any display of individuality is intimidating. To him, his “loved” ones are just another tool that he can use to get what he wants - power, control, attention, praise, admiration, and codependency… in other words, narcissistic supply. We see this every time a woman leaves him, and he feels the need to take his power back by insulting, slandering, and degrading them on social media (see: humiliating Adrienne by revealing the number of sexual partners she’s had, implying that she’s such a whore that he had to get STD tests because of her, and making fun of her vaginal hygiene; revealing to his followers that Billie had been raped and had an abortion, accusing her of being a druggie loser and high school dropout, etc). We see this every time he gets in an argument with Cyr, or Shane, or one of his other YouTube “friends” whenever they express a difference of opinion, and he feels the need to equalize the field again by insulting them and playing the victim (”I let you stay in my house for free, gave you food and equipment, allowed you - a much smaller YouTuber - to piggyback off my fame, and this is how you repay me? By refusing to vote for Hillary Clinton/being acquainted with somebody that I dislike/satirizing me/disagreeing with me in any way?”). He even does this when much more popular YouTubers that he’s not even friends with say something that he disagrees with - for example, when he felt slighted by Andy Biersack, and the whole fiasco with Dan Howell. (Wisely, in these cases, his retaliation was minimal because of the fact that they are so much more beloved and cherished by their respective fanbases than he is (which I’m sure he’s puzzled over and genuinely does not understand). He knows that he can’t pick on them like he can pick on smaller YouTubers like Jaclyn Glen or Blaire White, or reviled YouTubers like LeafyIsHere or Keemstar - there would be too much backlash from his own fanbase, and he would end up creating drama that he wouldn’t be able to recover from.)

Aaaanyway. I went on a bit of a tangent there. But basically what I was trying to say was that yes, I think you’re right: what you’re seeing in Onision’s response to Blaire White is compete, unadulterated rage triggered by a narcissistic injury to his ego. Bingo.

**If anybody is interested in the subject of narcissistic rage, I highly recommend the videos of Sam Vaknin - they’re very informative, and he’s an incredibly intelligent, well-read, and eloquent speaker, one of the world’s leading experts on the subject of narcissistic personality disorder (as well as a sufferer himself). Click here to watch his video about narcissistic rage.

When They Came Out

When I came out to my best friend it ended really well. So she was about to move to Texas so I told her that I was bi. She said that it was fine with her and told me to be who I am so that was super sweet. When she got to Texas she texted me and said that she had been wanting to tell me that she was bi too for a few months. It turned out really well though

When I came out to my friend, she texted me telling me that she was gay, and that things were getting pretty serious between her and this girl. I replied saying that I had had a girlfriend for quite a while. Both of our relationships ended soon after and we’ve been dating ever since.

When I came out, my mom yelled until I threw up, made me break up with my girlfriend, grounded me, and made me go to church the next morning. Now, over a year later, she still acts like it never happened, and gay bashes in front of me. A lot. She’s not supportive at all, and I can’t wait to get out of this house. Three more years

When I came out to my mother as a lesbian, the first time was when I was 16. She said that “it is a phase” and “maybe you feel that way because your father is not in your life” (my father hasn’t been in mine or my siblings’ lives for 4 years now). Her comments were disheartening, and I was sad. I got the courage to come out to her again shortly after my 19th birthday. She still questioned my sexuality by saying, “Have you kissed a girl before?” and commenting that I don’t look gay. She later said she loves me no matter what, but she doesn’t talk about it or ask if I’m seeing anyone

When I came out, I told my best friend of 17 years in the parking lot of the mall before we went Christmas shopping. My voice was quivering and I started to cry. She started crying and she said she was honored I wanted to tell, she loves me so much, and that I am more normal than ever.

When I came out to my best friend last December I told her I was bi and 2 weeks later told her I was actually gay. My parents are ok with it and love me. Most of my friends accepted me and other than a few “no homo”s and “don’t act gay” I’ve been accepted.

When I came out as a lesbian to my family and friends I was so terrified. I thought that everyone would hate me, but not one single person was against it. Every one of them was so supportive and still is today.

When I came out, it was to my mum. We were having a fight because I was telling my friends about what’s going on with me more than my own parents (I came out to my friends before my mum). I screamed at her, saying, “Fine, I’m bisexual,” then started crying. She accepted me. Turns out that same year my older brother came out as gay

When I came out to my close friends, they were really supportive despite my inner doubts. They gave me courage to come out to my mom who told me I was brave and that she loved me. I still have not come out to my dad, but plan to someday soon. It feels good living as an “out” lesbian rather than hiding who I really am.

anonymous asked:

I just walked by your living room window and heard a booming F-bomb. Who pooped in your Tim Hortons oatmeal this morning? - from Sound Hearer

Sunday, December 6, 2015 (1813 Standard Outlander Time)

Dear Sound Hearer,

Thank you for your ask. Please allow me a moment to come to terms with your actually using a name other than anonymous. Whoa.

It’s unfortunate you walked by my inadequate energy-guzzling you should see my electricity bills window when you did. I didn’t intend to share the booming F-bomb with anyone outside the house.

Note to readers that may think boyneriver has no F-bombs in her vocabulary, with reference to her blog. Ha! You’re funny. I’m a newspaper woman. I’ve heard and hurled more F-bombs during a coffee break than you would in a year. I am just extremely careful about where I write them.

Back to you, Sound Hearer. Who pooped in my Tim Hortons oatmeal this morning? While it’s not important, I will mention I had a Tim Hortons blueberry muffin for breakfast today, but I ken weel your point.

I’ll tell you who pooped in my oatmeal. Every single person on Tumblr who has time, energy, and audacity to write and/or send personal attacks to other writers.

I’m talking about the kind of crap that shows up daily on Outlander cast’s social media accounts. The kind of crap John Christopher, the makeup artist, received yesterday on his Instagram account in reference to his posting a picture of Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan. The kind of crap written by alleged “Cait & Sam Shippers” that shows up on Tumblr blogs, in particular the crap written about Trish and Sherri.

For the love of all that is good and holy, explain to me what is wrong with these crap-writers?

No. Scrap that. I wouldn’t have the capacity to understand what is wrong with them.

As much fun as it was yesterday to drool and speculate and dream about John Christopher’s photos, it was equally as disheartening to read the the personal attack crap. At times it was difficult to guess which half of the glass would be left standing at the end of the day.

Here’s the scoop on Trish and Sherri. They do not:

  • try to be popular
  • try to upstage anyone else on Tumblr
  • maliciously contradict other shippers
  • work to divide the fandom
  • want to win… because there is no contest, Sound Hearer. None. Nathan’. Nadda. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

Trish and Sherri do:

  • try to write and present their ideas positively as often as possible
  • take time to research and verify information before posting it
  • stress the fun of shipping, and the beauty of our Admiral Cait and Captain Sam
  • want to share the extras their efforts produce, with all shippers
  • bleed and hurt just like you and I do

Why would anyone consciously spew venom in their direction? What makes someone think it’s okay to purposely accuse another of carrying out a fictional agenda?

I readily admit I have a very soft spot for Trish and for Sherri. Why?

  • Yes, because they are Canadian and when you come from the second-largest country on earth, that has only 10% of the population of the super power located directly south of it, you value strength in numbers in all situations. It’s what we do, eh?
  • Because each of them has answered every ask, every direct message, every rookie-dense question I’ve thrown their way, with grace, humour, respect, and timeliness.
  • Because I can count on them. They confirm what I get right. They correct what I get wrong. They laugh at me, put up with me, and never run away screaming which is more than I can say for most of my family.
  • Because I respect how they manage their blogs.
  • Because I envy how well they keep their heads above water while their personal watercraft is under attack.

That, dear Sound Hearer, is why you heard a booming F-bomb when you walked by my living room window. People with bad judgement are cruelly attacking people who have good intentions, and I have had enough of it.

I hope I have provided an acceptable answer to your question. You may always ask for clarification, ask another question, or send a comment. Like I am for Trish, Sherri, and all my Cait & Sam Shipper Friends, I am here for you.

Next time you walk by my living room window, turn around and ring the doorbell. Come in for Tim’s coffee, Crown Royal, A Coke and A Smile, whatever wets your whistle. I promise to keep the F-bombs to a minimum.

Sincerely,

boyneriver, BS, MS, PhD, lots of shady trees

File No. 001

Hey guys I’m still needing some help
with my trip to Chicago I keep deleting
my post because I keep trying to find the
time to make a well collected post but
I’ve been working as much as I can to just
get a few extra dollars in my pocket. But for
those who don’t know I’ll keep it short or try too anyways.

I scheduled a doctor appointment back in December to see my endocrinologist May 9th
My last visit was January 15 2015. So it’s been way over a year since I’ve gotten my levels checked. Initially I was just going to rescheduled my doctor appoint for the next month but my doctor called me and told me she would no longer prescribe me testosterone if I didn’t come see her being as how it’s been a year and I have a few medical issues that can actually be effected by the use of hormones.

Now I would put it off but I actually don’t have more than a months worth of hormones left nor am I anywhere near finically stable to start the whole process again. And being as how serious my doctor was about what could go wrong with my medical situation and the use of hormones I’m honestly a little scared. I’m on such a low dose of hormones because I didn’t think gallstones crohns and having a heart murmur would really effect me the way my doctor explained it to me. And honestly I’m constantly in some form of pain because having crohns and gallstones already causes a “natural” hormone imbalance so I really really need to go see my doctor.

I’m asking for donations because in one month my rent went from 175 dollars to 375 my utilities went from 80 dollars to 125-135 I have an 80 dollar insurance bill that’s made its way up to 280 dollars because I haven’t been able to afford it nor does it cover any part of my transition which is amazing. I’m already 160 dollars behind on utilities and I have another set due between the 12-18. I also have a cell phone bill which is 112 dollars.

Both rent and my cell phone bill are due today and that costed me 487 dollars which was basically my check so I’m super struggling to make ends meet right now.

I have to rent a car because my partners car will not make the trip. The last trip I took to Milwaukee to get my belongings to Kentucky costed me 300 dollars so I’m just trying everything that i can to get to that point.
I’ve been working really hard and saving every penny I can get. So please don’t send me any negative messages.

Bear makes patches and sketches and so forth and has said that he would send patches to people who donate and I’ll right letters and could even refund people who help once I’m able to get back on my feet. I just don’t really know what to do because it’s so close to the 9th that I’m incredibly anxious that I won’t be able to make it. And due to my strict scheduling at work I don’t know when I could make the next appointment which is literally why I had to request off all the way back in December. But here’s some photos of patches that bear has done there’s only a little bit but he also custom makes patches too so for anyone with ideas of what they’d like feel free to message me or him @strayqueer


I’ve tried several times to get my pay pal link to work but there it’s proving to be extremely difficult so my email is

Dylohanpresley@gmail.com


Anything would help even a reblog

When I Came Out

When I came out to my best friend it ended really well. So she was about to move to Texas so I told her that I was bi. She said that it was fine with her and told me to be who I am so that was super sweet. When she got to Texas she texted me and said that she had been wanting to tell me that she was bi too for a few months. It turned out really well though

When I came out to my friend, she texted me telling me that she was gay, and that things were getting pretty serious between her and this girl. I replied saying that I had had a girlfriend for quite a while. Both of our relationships ended soon after and we’ve been dating ever since.

When I came out, my mom yelled until I threw up, made me break up with my girlfriend, grounded me, and made me go to church the next morning. Now, over a year later, she still acts like it never happened, and gay bashes in front of me. A lot. She’s not supportive at all, and I can’t wait to get out of this house. Three more years

When I came out to my mother as a lesbian, the first time was when I was 16. She said that “it is a phase” and “maybe you feel that way because your father is not in your life” (my father hasn’t been in mine or my siblings’ lives for 4 years now). Her comments were disheartening, and I was sad. I got the courage to come out to her again shortly after my 19th birthday. She still questioned my sexuality by saying, “Have you kissed a girl before?” and commenting that I don’t look gay. She later said she loves me no matter what, but she doesn’t talk about it or ask if I’m seeing anyone

When I came out, I told my best friend of 17 years in the parking lot of the mall before we went Christmas shopping. My voice was quivering and I started to cry. She started crying and she said she was honored I wanted to tell, she loves me so much, and that I am more normal than ever.

When I came out to my best friend last December I told her I was bi and 2 weeks later told her I was actually gay. My parents are ok with it and love me. Most of my friends accepted me and other than a few “no homo”s and “don’t act gay” I’ve been accepted.

When I came out as a lesbian to my family and friends I was so terrified. I thought that everyone would hate me, but not one single person was against it. Every one of them was so supportive and still is today.

When I came out, it was to my mum. We were having a fight because I was telling my friends about what’s going on with me more than my own parents (I came out to my friends before my mum). I screamed at her, saying, “Fine, I’m bisexual,” then started crying. She accepted me. Turns out that same year my older brother came out as gay

When I came out to my close friends, they were really supportive despite my inner doubts. They gave me courage to come out to my mom who told me I was brave and that she loved me. I still have not come out to my dad, but plan to someday soon. It feels good living as an “out” lesbian rather than hiding who I really am.