i say it just in case

Mam, i will knife you right here.

Tl;dr customers wondering why I carry a knife for protection.

So when i started college (i went to a party school) , I started carrying a knife with me. Its only as big as the state allows, but its a good sized knife so you can see the clip on my pants as clear as day. It became a habit, and i even carry it on me at my waitstaff job. Management doesnt say anything cause they assume i use it to open boxes and whatever non lethal uses. I guess for some customers its off putting and for others its juat a conversation starter. Ive had my share of people notice it right away and say “Wow thats a big knife you got there.” And i just explain “yea its for protection and occasional utility use.” Like, duh.
But i remeber this SoccerMom with her two little boys and Husband who was not having it. I come up to their table all “Hi, how ya doing, what can i get you to drink” and she immediately spots the outline of my pocket knife and says “why on earth do you have that here? ” and discretely points.
When anyone asks about it, or notices it, i immediately cover it with my flattend hand incase its upsetting/spooking someone. (which has never been the case) I start to apologize, but i guess she thought i was going to pull it out and show her and she yells “no dont! i dont want my kids to see it! why the hell do you have that in your pocket???” i breath and reply “I go to a certian university thats known for shenannigans, so its for protection-” then this bitch interrupts me and says “well maybe you shouldnt be out with the riff raff if youre doing something that makes you feel like you need protection” I put my hand up to stop her “ mam, im an adult and I can do what I want. This knife is well within my rights. Bye. ” and I walk away. They ended up not staying and the lady shouted on her way out “This place used to be classy before they hired thugs! ” thug??? im like 5'6 and 135 lbs I cant even run up a flight of stairs. tf you mean.

2

“Sooyoung, you and I have been friends for 10 years because we met when we were in elementary school. Back then, you were shorter than me but now you’re the tallest, you’ve grown. How dare you grow so much? I’m part of the short crew now, but I was taller back then, right? Anyway, we can’t ignore the time we spent together, so I can tell from your eyes when you’re not feeling good, and why you’re not feeling good. Now we’re roommates and obviously we have a special connection. I’m happy to be in Girls’ Generation with you, and to have you as my roommate. I also like the fact that you’re good at Japanese, so teach me some and let’s stay friends for 20, 30 more years.” - Jessica

“My roommate Jessica, we’ve come a long way, right? I think, ever since the beginning, you and I were meant to be on the same boat. You and I were always together, so now I can read everything from your face. Even when you say or do something unexpected, I can understand you just the way you are. People see you as a cold person, but that’s really not the case, and I know that well. I love you.” - Sooyoung

i’m just still not over it

everything jake and amy have ever done has led to this point

every argument and competition and case theyve solved and glances across their desks and nights at the bar

the first time they met and the first time jake realized he liked amy and the first time he told her and her confusion afterwards because she liked him too and how awful the timing was and how they accidentally had to admit what they liked about the other and kiss not once but twice to keep up their cover

how they killed a captain and almost broke up but came together but then they almost were forced to break up again but jake fought for them after just a six day relationship

when jake bought that mattress and when they first said i love you and when they first moved in together and when amy was terrified her promotion would hurt their relationship they just grew closer together each time after every milestone they passed they just fell more in love

after being separated for six months and reuniting and how awkward it was but how they fit back together again and being separated again for eight weeks and surviving that trauma together and taking care of each other

and all the little things like the glances and the touches and the kisses and the dates and the movie nights and ordering takeout and playing taylor swift and falling asleep next to each other and waking up together and going to work together and spending every second just so in awe of the person theyre sharing their life with

i can’t go back and watch them without knowing how everything leads to this one moment, how everything leads to the rest of their lives together, how theyre only going to grow closer

2

Olicity | Oliver Queen x Felicity Smoak

Arrow:

2x08  Felicity: I can’t believe I’m actually saying this. The way this arrowhead is bent… It means our thief’s muscle density is at least 120 pounds per cubic foot. That’s almost the same density as common concrete. Your arrows may cut this guy, but they will not stop him. Oliver: Well, I’ve beat someone like this before, Felicity. I can do it again. Felicity: What if you can’t?

5x23  Oliver:  What was that for?  Felicity: Just in case. Oliver: We’re gonna make it through this. Felicity: You can’t know that for sure. I didn’t want to regret not kissing you. When it comes to the two of us, I regret enough as it is. Oliver: Let’s talk more about this when we’re off the island.


anonymous asked:

Female aspiring writer here, what do you think is the best way to approach sexual humor? Just asking because I have a bisexual female MC who one of her arcs involve exploring her sexuality, and I don't want it to be played seriously all the time (my story in general is a mix of romcom and film noir).

Hello!  As I bi female author whose latest novel features heavy themes of how queer people relate to the world, I’m going to say go wild.  

You’re bisexual, meaning you’re presumably affected by the issues you’re writing about.  This is your narrative.  And in this case, you can and should set the boundaries of how it should be talked about.  Use humor when you want to use humor, and be serious when you’re talking about an issue you find serious.  

To elaborate a little, in my personal experience, sexuality – particularly queer sexuality – is only played seriously when one is first coming to terms with it.  

Once you really and truly accept that you’re queer, and you’re in an environment in which you can be open about it, it’s open season for pun-fueled comedic gold.  Personally, I’ve been cowed by the number of “goes both ways” jokes I can pull off.

Obviously, I don’t know the exact plot of your novel, so my capacity to give advice is limited.  But in a nutshell, I’m going to say trust your own judgement, don’t be afraid to use humor, and above all, have fun. 

Best of luck, and happy writing!  <3

ok I’m not caught up on b99 yet, but I just saw spoilers and can I just say that honestly I’m forever jealous of how AMAZINGLY WELL Jake x Amy are written?! 

They are a top-notch otp and I would die if all my otps were given as much care and love by the writers. (This isn’t a dig at other ships, just about how HAPPY I am that they are so incredible and we get to see how in love they are.) 

What a perfect ship. I’m so thrilled!

anonymous asked:

(this is a question I ask pretty much all creepypasta headcanon/AU blogs I come across) Mun, in your AU does Sally know the other pastas kill people? Because I don't think she'd like living at the household if she knew half of the residents murdered innocent people for fun (in LJ's case, children just like her). Just wondering.

Well the thing is that on my blog, Sally doesn’t really live with the others. She does pop in every now and then to visit (literally cause I headcanon that she can teleport), but other than that she just does her own thing. I’m just going to say that she doesn’t really know that they kill people. She just thinks she’s hanging out with the friendly monsters in the woods. Like the ones in her imagination.

Fevre Dream

So yesterday I read Fevre Dream, GRRM’s antebellum vampire novel. (It’s pretty short, at least compared to ASOIAF, so it’s quite easy to read in a day.) Mostly, I liked it. I didn’t like all of it, and I thought the ending was weaker than it could have been, but overall I thought it was pretty good, and definitely had some broad thematic parallels to ASOIAF. (I’ll put the rest of my scattered thoughts under a cut, just in case you want to avoid spoilers for a 35-year-old book.)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

When I said the thing about flirting it was so I could make them know I’m not interested without getting the wrong idea bc I don’t know the difference between flirting and regular talk... (all the guys who have tried and been so obvious to the point where I know, are rude, ableist, disrespectful and kinda abusive to friends so uh- I want to not give ‘em the wrong idea) Also, sorry about the opposite gender thing!! (It’s a bad habit I’m sorry..) - the anon who asked about flirting

In that case, I would say the best thing is to just be vocal about your lack of interest in flirting and dating.  When I was in high school, anytime someone accused me of flirting with a guy, I would just point out that I was talking to him the same way I talked to everyone else, so you should either assume I’m flirting with everybody or assume I’m flirting with nobody (hint: I’m probably flirting with nobody).  One of the few things that travels faster than light is high school gossip, so if people were speculating about you flirting with someone then word will quickly get back to them that you’re not actually interested without you having to directly confront them.

Unfortunately, if you’re perceived as a woman, you are likely to run into a lot of guys whining about being friend-zoned or about you leading them on no matter how obviously indifferent you are to the whole idea of dating.  When this happens, I’m in favor of turning it around on them and complaining about how much it sucks when you find out someone was only pretending to be your friend in the hopes you would date them.

Also, re: the opposite gender thing, we all have a few linguistic bad habits we’re working to break, and we all slip up sometimes.  It’s a learning process.

-Liz

2

“You don’t need to buy a costume. Your horrible personality is terrifying enough.”

“That’s funny Raphael, you’re still not going to get out of this day.” You roll your eyes at the scowling vampire and continue to drag him through the store with you.

He always made such a fuss about it, though you two had a great deal going on. You provided him with whatever information he needed on the shadowhunters in exchange, he had to spend one day with you every week. While it may looked like a you got the shorter end of the stick, that wasn’t the case. Raphael could be incredible chatty, especially when he was bored. And you got a talent for making just that happen, besides his company wasn’t the worse.

“I see nothing.” He says as you step out of the dressing room.

You flesh him a smile, showing off your plastic fangs, “I’m dressing up as you this year, grumpy teenage vampire.”

“I am hundreds of years old, leader of the vampires in this city and not your pet or source of amusement and if you keep running your mouth like that, I can think of a few ways to make you shut up.”

“I sure hope so.” You smirk, shooting him a wink before pulling the curtains to your cabin close.

FYI guys in the new afterbuzz video, lauren did not say she “put that sheith in there” wrt Keith and Shiro in the background of the Matt and Pidge background. She said “I put that shit in there” and immediately after was like “oops I said a bad word–” so. just in case you guys get shaladins smug in your inbox you can tell em the truth

anonymous asked:

How would u feel if I said that TRUMP IS THE BEST AND ALL U HATERS DONT KNOW A THING ABOUT THE REAL WORLD. Oh, and don't say 'u stupid' cause that'll just prove my case and embarrass yourself

Well first of all, you stupid. Trump is literally a horrible person who is ruining the lives of so many people.
And Hun, I live in the real world - I’m not even American and I can see how much Trump is fucking everything up for people.

anonymous asked:

madcaprainbow. tumblr. com/post/166535452135/id-heard-the-therapy-scene-was-bad-but-holy#notes I just found the worst post vilifying Iris for having emotions in last night's episode basically. These people basically call her psychotic and a bitch. It's so annoying and gross.

The thread in question. I don’t watch The Flash but it’s clear that the whole thead is a classic case of racist whiteguy stans being bitter, Antiblack and showing their misogynoir, because they can’t stand the thought of an IR relationship. As far as I can see they’re all Snowbarry shippers (one of them is also a Reylo shipper), so that pretty much says it all. 

“Why didn’t they just shoot them in the leg??”

aight so this comes up a lot when the police have to shoot someone. i say have to for a reason; i’m referring to the cases where an officer’s life is threatened and they have no other choice. 

now there’s two main reasons why officer’s are not trained to shoot someone in the leg when they need to disable them, and are in fact trained not to do that:

One is that shooting at someone’s extremities, especially if the person is moving, is much more likely to miss than if you’re shooting for central mass (the abdomen). If you miss, you’re putting bystanders at lethal risk of being shot by mistake. Shooting for central mass is what police are trained to do because it’s the safest.

The second, and possibly more important, YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO SURVIVE A SHOT TO THE LEG THAN A SHOT TO CENTRAL MASS. Why? Because of this big guy called the Femoral Artery:

If this artery is hit, you will bleed out in seconds. Honestly, at the MOST, you have about four minutes. You are much more likely to survive a shot to central mass than a shot to the leg.

Shooting someone in the arm, if successfully hit, isn’t any safer because of the same reason, just different arteries.

Real life isn’t like the movies or video games. Do you know the kind of marksmanship it would take to shoot someone, likely a moving target, in the foot? To shoot the gun out of someone’s hand? It’s nearly impossible, and it would be incredibly irresponsible for an officer to try to do this. When a shot has to be taken, shooting someone in the abdomen is the safest way to do it, for everyone involved.

Honestly I’ve kind of been holding back on saying this because I’ve been nervous about garnering negativity and whatnot if I phrase this incorrectly but

I’m just. Done.

For heaven’s sake, it’s really not appropriate to draw/write real life people in G/t or vore situations, unless given their explicit permission. Heck, I LOVE G/t and yet I’d be so uncomfortable if random people I didn’t know drew me in those situations without my permission.

I dunno. Anyway, that’s my take on the matter, in case some of y’all were wondering why I never reblog or do G/t Youtuber stuff, or other things like that. That’s probably the most I’ll say on the matter.

anonymous asked:

I figured I'd quickly point out that you labeled your Derse/Prospit piece as Day 3 while the Gaming one as Day 2 for your own pieces (they're both Day 2 prompts). Like, it fits right in with the "no rules" thing, but I kinda figured I'd at least point it out just in-case

NO WAY omg i am so stupid thwank you
yea lets just say it goes with the no rules and that i am not dumb

@norowarerumono replied to your post “¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦ Kanda Yuu and Hisoka Morow have the same birthday, on…”

So close to the number of the beast… But in Kanda’s case it’s probably because of Mugen.

kjdhf I know we joke about that in the hxh fandom since, well, Hisoka may just as well have crawled out of hell all by himself and hadn’t really been born -

But for Kanda, he doesn’t deserve it, except if it’s to say that the Second Exorcist Project was Hell which. True. 

But also i don’t think the date itself is that hugely associated with it…

However, what do you mean by “because of Mugen”? :O I’m really curious now i feel like i’m missing an info :O

In this case, 3 is a crowd

Oh, please tell me that these “red feelings” are for Dave. Please tell me that will happen. Because I don’t think I could bear it if Karkat is talking about Jade.

Jade’s too pure for him. :P

… Now I just heard Church from RvB in that last line. Holy shit.

See? This is why you don’t push the Hufflepuff too far.

Also, she doesn’t “need a knight” to save her? Did she say that on purpose? Because Karkat’s a Knight?

OH MY GOD PLEASE TELL ME DAVE WAS JUST JOKING! I DON’T THINK I CAN HANDLE KARKAT HITTING ON JADE!

Also, John really needs to get on with actually rescuing Jade. Like, from the huge fuckoff meteor.

And of course, we had to bring up that Dave’s a Knight as well.

Wait… is this on purpose? Is Karkat doing this because he’s still searching for his kismesis? Because this seems like someone who is trying too hard to be with another person.

Oh, great. Now Karkat’s having an internal crisis with himself. And I don’t know if time moves differently for trolls, but unless something catastrophic happens to someone, three hours really isn’t that much of a time difference.

What I’m saying is that Jade had a point that they’re the same person, from a certain point of view.

@tommothedoggo @lillimer-the-glitter-lover @chchibi @leafiestleafking @alexadarkus

Experienced Paranormal Investigator Crew(or E.P.I.C.) AU where Kyle, Scotti, Torb, Mac, Rei and Ollie are a groups of ‘expert’ -honestly just to get acronym cuz A.P.I.C sounds off- paranormal investigators + camera crew. Kyle and or Scotti usually going through shenanigans to hide solid proof of the paranormal from going public.

Finally see mothman or Bigfoot? Sorry Scotti was too scared while running away to get a good shot. Potential sounds or conversations that confirm the whispers in an abandoned asylum? ‘The battery died without me knowing’ Kyle would say. But also the blunt refusal of some of the more ridiculous cases being real paranormal activity sounds hilarious when one is a fish man and the other is a werewolf.

Think Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural mixed with Ghost Adventures.

anonymous asked:

hey seo what did protein say to the peptones? gosh, ur a protease im sorry but this joke rlly got me idk why its lame but it got me hahahha

yo seo im sry same anon but if ur not part of the solution ur part of the precipitate ahh im srh

never say sorry for sending me good jokes bc i’m all about those laughs!!