i saw this and thought of u im so sorry friend

AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

so im absolutely obsessed with @skyesentinels ‘s youtube au and i got an IdeaTM (pls read the voltron youtube au frfr it’s s o good)

-For april fools, Keith and Pidge make a new channel for ‘supernatural hunting and alien spotting’
     -The video they post is just them running around Keith’s apartment while lance chases them while wearing a bedsheet
          -there are many gifs of lance tripping and face planting because he can’t see
-they all think it’s just an one time thing they did for a funny april fools thing but no
     -the fans won’t allow it
     
-the channel somehow gets to 100,000 subscribers, and keith and pidge get sent an actual silver play button from youtube for a channel they made as a joke
      -then they realize that they can’t just let the channel die now
-So they continue making videos
-they start out mostly the same as the first video, just obviously fake ‘paranormal activity’ while someone chases them
     -there are also many gifs of shiro dragging keith away while being the ‘ghost’
     -also many, many audio clips of keith’s high pitched screaming as this is done
-Lance is a fan favorite in these videos because he always ends up screaming and falling into keith’s arms
     -the klance shippers l i v e for this channel
-shiro is the worst to have in these videos unless he’s the ghost
     -shiro: maybe the real ghost was the friends we made along the way
     -keith: sh u t up shiro this is s e r i o u s
     -”yea i’d punch a ghost. I’d fight every single ghost in the astral plane. im not scared”
-there’s a video of keith filming lance in the middle of his morning routine and yelling “look guys! It’s a ghost, and it’s hideous
     -the rest of the video is the camera shaking while keith runs for his life
-there are x-file memes everywhere
     -every single video there are new clips on tumblr with the x-files theme playing
-g h o s t  a d v e n t u r e  m e m e s
     -”My name is Keith Kogane. I’ve never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture what I once saw onto video….With no big camera crews following us around, I am joined only by my fellow investigator Pidge Holt and our equipment tech Hunk Garrett. The three of us will travel to the some of most highly active paranormal locations, where we will spend an entire night, being locked down from dusk until dawn….Raw…Extreme…These are our Ghost Adventures.”
     -this leads the fandom to make memes about zak bagans being keith’s boyfriend
     -lance doesn’t realize that it’s all a meme and he’s??? So confused?? Like i thought keith and i bonded???? Who is zak and what does he have that i dont???????
      -”zak bagans is my boyfriend and i would die for him” -keith probably
      -keith does have a lowkey unironic crush on zak bagans and the only one that knows is shiro
-then they start making other videos of them doing things like looking for aliens/bigfoot/mothman ect
     -everyone likes these videos too because keith almost always starts ranting that mothman is r e a l.
     -pidge does the same but with nessie
-this leads to them making videos about conspiracy theories
     -these are basically just 30 minute long unedited videos of them screaming about cryptids
-they also start doing those cursed games like the bath game and midnight game
     -they get the whole gang together to play the midnight game but it’s basically just them sitting in a dark room with candles pretending to feel stuf
     -except lance who claims he’s actually feeling things, but in reality its just keith messing with him
-their videos sometimes end with the police showing up one way or another
      -once they had to pause making a video because keith screamed so loud that his neighbors thought he was dying so now there’s footage of keith awkwardly explaining to a police officer what they were doing
      -the fandom has started making bets to whether or not the police will show up in the next video or not
-theres a compilation of videos from pidge’s snapchat that are just a slow zoom of keith’s face as he does something with the caption ‘caught a cryptid on video!!!!!!!!’
     -keith tried to get her back but he’s much less sneaky about it so most of keith’s video’s usually end with pidge tackling him
-the fans get ‘#cryptidkeith’ treading on twitter and keith wants to die
     -most of it is edits of keith’s face of bigfoot or screenshots of keith in the background of a shot with that red circle and zoom in of him (see: @keithsightings)
     -theres also a lot of keith x mothman
     -keith has never been more impressed and also disgusted by his fandom

off limits | 04 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: smut, dom! Jin, dare I say fluff…? followed by an ‘oh shit’ moment
words: 12,051
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

  » 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 ::

Keep reading

Break Me [Draco x Reader, One]

A/N: Haha let me start off by saying I honestly don’t believe Draco would be the cheater type, but I love angst and I love Draco so ,,, Also!! Don’t know if anyone would be interested, but I’m probably going to make a separate Hamilton Imagine blog!! I love Hamilton and all the characters and all of the cast members! Anyways, enjoy!! Love you all!!

 

Word Count: 1,636

 

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Self blame. Cursing.

 

Summary: (Name) gave everything to him, but he wasn’t willing to give back.

 

Requested: No lol im a jerk


Chapter Two / Three / Four / Five


Masterlist


Originally posted by daz-zling-bling

The sight of (Name) and Draco Malfoy turned heads. The mere thought of (Name) and Draco Malfoy turned heads.

(Name), perhaps the most loyal, caring, and kind girl anyone would ever know somehow ended up head over heels for Draco Malfoy. She would follow him around, a sweet smile never faltering. He would look pretty content with himself, arms linked with (Name’s) own. It didn’t take much to realize that (Name) was very attractive in a dreamy, almost fantasy like way. In fact, multiple men and women had asked for her affections. She only replied with a sweet smile and a polite rejection, claiming she already had a boyfriend.

Draco was no idiot. He knew that many people wished to have his girlfriend for themselves.

At first he merely got jealous at this. How dare someone fantasize over his girlfriend?!

As days grew into weeks, and weeks grew into months, his jealousy turned into pride. She was another thing he had that many people, including Harry Potter, didn’t have.

The two started off hopelessly in love. Starry eyes and rosy cheeks were exchanged. Longing looks and sweet messages were sent back and forth.

Over time, Draco became more and more distant. However, (Name) stayed the same, remaining completely infatuated with him. Draco, from a first glance, didn’t seem to be as in love with (Name) as she was with him. 


The First Month.

 

Of course, like many couples, (Name) and Draco had a phase where nothing else seemed to matter but the two of them and their love for each other. It was almost as if they couldn’t be apart from one another or they would fall ill.

“Draco! Draco, come here!” (Name) chirped with the same giddy smile playing at her cheeks.

“Yes? (Name), what is it? Are you injured?” His voice was frantic and shaky. (Name) laughed and shook her head. “No, silly!” She spread her arms out wide. “Come here!”

Draco did so with a smile, leaning into her embrace. “What is all this about?”

“Mmm… Nothing, really. I just wanted to cuddle you. I love you, you know?” Draco chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes and savoring the feeling of his beloved breathing softly into his chest. They didn’t seem to notice the dozens of students amongst them stare in disgust, envy, or even admiration.

“And I love you, (Name). Always.”


The Seventh Month.

 

While (Name) was in fact hopelessly, blindly in love, she was no idiot. She noticed when Draco avoided her affections or avoided her in general. She didn’t pay much attention to it, though. She assumed she was being clingy, and her herself was at fault. Sometimes the two would be together, a joyful smile ever present on (Name’s) face. But she noticed they only ever seemed to be affectionate around each other in front of crowds.

The thought that Draco may be using her crept in the back of her mind. He wouldn’t, would he?

No… He couldn’t. He loved her.

At least… That’s what she told herself.

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2

Okay while I’m at it (i mean talking abt my art policy w someone laughs)
I would like to share this thing happened to me from months ago.
Something I rlly have to tell to all my followers or people who visit my page.

To begin with, I’m a really flexible kind of artist regarding my own art’s policies.

Use as icon? Use it. Use as header? Use it. Repost? Redraw? Trace? Reference? Yep, totally don’t mind, go ahead. I see those stuff as ways to appreciate my art, instead i would like laughs at it and “wow why would you like my ugly art cries, thanks tho.”
There is only one thing I ask from you all, “a credit”, yep, a link back to my tumblr. Or my twitter, or my name, just anything.

Because all I want is “respect and honesty” alright, you don’t need to ask my permission, but if you respect me & my art you surely would at least write down my name on the caption right?

Lol i became too sappy im sorry.
And well so, it’s not rare, but not often either for me to saw my art getting reposted. But this one particular haikyuu page in fb reposted my art without a credit to me. I wouldnt tell which art and which page bcs i don’t want problems. Please don’t look it up either i beg you.

Ok so, ofc my friend is like “haru isn’t this your art?” So I’m like “oh yes it is”
So i went to the page, and comment, kindly and politely, to put my link to tumblr on the caption. Thought, honestly, i wouldnt mind if they don’t do it either bcs if you see the comment section, the link is there, right there.
But this page, instead of choosing to just ignore the comment, which is already quite rude, choose to delete my comment.
My friends are like “whoa wtf, do u need a hand” but I’m too tired of shits already so I’m like “nah it’s cool.”

Ok, so, I’m no big artist, and I’m totally cool with this kind of thing. But it’s rlly unrespectful to the artist to do this kind of thing man. If you can’t support the artist by buying their stuff, commissing them, well excuse u, at least pls support them by respecting them.

To the admin of that page, i forgive you but please don’t do it anymore cries.

I’m sorry for rambling too much, i just feel like i need to make this post so some ppl would know all i want is my name written on the caption
Here have a KageHina :’) i haven’t been drawing so much lately cries //rolls away

films to watch

so i saw a post listing films in foreign languages and i thought i could expand on the list a little bit but my addition got so massive i decided to move it to a separate post. this list will focus on my target languages and feature a little bit of french as well just to spice it up. 

films are good for several reasons

  • usually quite fun
  • actually challenging if u watch w/o subtitles and the easiest way to achieve immersion in the privacy of your home
  • “productive procrastination”
  • might give u cultural insight as well
  • or encourage you to learn some history!!!!
  • i’m really tired of people watching almodóvar and being like uuuuuuhuuuu look the great spanish director and forgetting that not only are there spanish films not directed by almodóvar but also that spanish is spoken in other countries as well and GUESS WHAT they produce culture

ok here we go!!!!! im really lazy and my computer is agonizingly slow so i can provide no links. if something interests you search for it et voila

WARNING!!!!! long post 

spanish

  • magia salvaje - this is an uber cool colombian film showing largely unexplored areas of colombia which i think is the most beautiful country on earth. it was recommended to me independently by a friend from my spanish class and my colombian pen pal gal. from its website: “magia salvaje es la cinta del mundo natural más ambiciosa realizada en el país (…) [realizada en] 85 locaciones y 20 ecosistemas. (…) un tributo a la belleza de colombia“ tl;dr: cool shit u should watch, it’s available on yt
  • señor ávila - a p good series filmed by the mexican hbo starring tony dalton as an exemplary father and husband that starts working as a paid killer for the mafia, but it’s not all peachy because it affects his personal life and his son gets into some really deep shit. gets a bit grim at times but good nevertheless
  • retrato de un comportamiento animal - really cute indie film made in uruguay. an unlikely couple on a trip to brazil. expect nice landscapes and voseo
  • relatos salvajes - dark humour from argentina, a series of episodes in which people go absolutely bonkers over the most petty shit and also get p violent when you wouldn’t expect them to be. produced by pedro almodóvar if that serves as any recommendation.
  • la historia oficial - another one from argentina. drama. set during the dictatorship and based on true events, follows a family through a period when they would literally tear lil kids from their mothers and drown the parents if they were enemies of the state. watch it
  • juana la loca - spanish historical drama about their queen joan the mad
  • el laberinto del fauno - can we just, omg, ok, i love that film so much. fantasy, set during the civil war in spain. a little girl discovers this world with monsters and other creatures and it’s scary as shit but she goes through these adventures because she cares for her family. watch itttt
  • doce hombres sin piedad - this is the spanish version of the american classic 12 angry men, recorded in 1973. you can watch it on youtube.
  • gran hotel - spanish tv series, historical drama sort of downton abbey style. weird shit is happening in this lovely hotel, what do we do??? apparently available on netflix
  • como agua para chocolate - cute film “about how life used to be in mexico” (imdb) based on the p famous novel by laura esquivel. lovely colours, romantic love and a lot of nice food
  • los diarios de motocicleta - starring gael garcía bernal in an adaptation of che guevara’s memoir in which young che travels the world on his motorbike
  • no - ok this is some amazing shit (oscar nomination holaaaa). it’s a chilean film with gael garcía bernal set in the 1980s. in 1988 pinochet held a referendum in which basically if u said “yes” he stayed as te country’s official and lawful leader and if you said “no”, well, he went. the film is about the campaign that sought to get rid of him
  • talento de barrio - sorry but i couldn’t omit that one. it has daddy yankee in it, period.

italian

  • la dolce vita - please do yourself a favour and watch it
  • la grande bellezza - as above. this is my favourite film of all time. look for the soundtrack on yt and you will know why
  • il bidone - early fellini follows petty thieves in rome
  • il prefetto di ferro - set in the 1920s. giuliano gemma as cesare mori aka the iron prefect who comes to palermo to deal with the gangs. good shit
  • ladri di biciclette - directed by vittorio de sica, set in post-ww2 rome, “a masterpiece of italian neorealism” (wiki). a desperate family needs their bicycle to survive
  • amarcord - comedy/drama, set in the 1930s. coming-of-age. “Fellini skewers Mussolini’s ludicrous posturings … that <<imprisoned Italians in a perpetual adolescence>> by mockig himself and his fellow villagers in comic scenes tha underline their incapacity to adopt genuine moral responsibility or outgrow foolish sexual fantasies” (wiki). won oscar for foreign language.
  • gomorra - tv series based on famed novel by roberto saviano. rival mob clans. good shit
  • il vangelo secondo matteo - “trattando in maniera antidogmatica un argomento di carattere religioso, l’opera fece sensazione e scatenò un aspro confronto intelettuale sulla stampa, proseguendo le non sopite polemiche per le accuse di vilipendio della religione” (wiki). three oscar nominations.
  • una vita violenta - poor kid in rome attempts to transform his life after leaving prison
  • la notte - marcello mastroianni in a study of a deteriorating relationship
  • la nostra terra - cute film which is literally my aesthetic aka people working the land. educated guy from bologna comes down south to start a community and sell organic veg he will grow himself. featuring creepy mafia guy freshly released from prison and sneaky southerners
  • la mafia uccide solo d’estate - drama but also a comedy fresh from palermo. lil boy observes how the mob influences people’s lives
  • il capitale umano - drama. a car accident ties together the lives of two families. people go crazy. great performance by valeria bruni tedeschi
  • il rosso e il blu - follows the lives of three school teachers as they get really involved in the fucked up lives of their students. confusing but oddly satisfying
  • latin lover - fun comedy of how a famed actor dies leaving behind a shitload of lovers, wives and children who all meet for his funeral.

portuguese

  • trash - an AMAZING brazilian film about two favela boys trying to solve a criminal mystery and unearth corruption before an ill-willed police officer gets to them; all thanks to a wallet found in the dumpster they work in. really good cinema with appearances made by rooney mara and martin sheen
  • singularidades de uma rapariga loura - modern portuguese film based on a short stories by eça de queirós. a blooming romance meets an unexpected obstacle. spot on aesthetic and cleverly blended cultural references. directed by manoel de oliveira who is THE MAN, check out his ther shit such as the p recent o convento starring john malkovich and catherine deneuve
  • saneamento básico - p straightforward but fun brazilian comedy in which a small town community will do anything to raise money to fix their sewer system
  • this is embarrassingly short i will make a separate post to expand 

french

  • farinelli - an AMAZING film based very loosely on the life of the most famous castrato singer, farinelli. loooveeeee
  • la religieuse (2013) - a really stuningly made adaptation of denis diderot’s novel about a girl thrown into a convent against her will and desperate to get out who discovers some dark family secrets.
  • tom à la ferme - weird indie canadian film with xavier dolan, a gay man travelling to meet his dead boyfriend’s family and terrorised by said’s boyfriend’s horrible brother. more dark family shit for u
  • yves saint laurent - nice biographical film with pierre niney
  • dans la maison - terrifying and fascinating drama about how one seductive teenager ruins some families. 10/10 would recommend
  • les choristes - really good film about how a music teacher transforms the lives of a class of “difficult” boys. set in the 1940s to spice it up
  • les liaisons dangereuses (1959) - adaptation of laclos’ classic novel, set in the present day. directed by roger vadim.

that’s it - I hope at least one person finds it interesting/helpful!!!

i once promised a crash course in polish thing and i know i’m delaying it horribly but sometime next week i will prepare a similar post about polish films (if u folks are interested, ofc)

Saving Kittens Thing

Bleeding heart James Potter does his level best to save seven cats from a terrible fate, but Lily Evans, his heartless monster fiancée, tries to thwart him at every turn.


week one.


Lily Evans to James Potter: no

James Potter: i haven’t asked a question.

Lily Potter: and yet

James Potter: but how did u know???

Lily Potter: your 762 cat pictures uploaded to the cloud james

James Potter: right.

James Potter: it’s just, hes been hanging around the office for the last two weeks…
Lily Evans: you don’t even like cats??

James Potter: but he likes me. maybe I never liked them bc they were all assholes?

James Potter: chicken or egg, u know?

Lily Evans: amazing

Lily Evans: see u in a few

Lily Evans: no to cat. yes to takeout for stressing me out

James Potter: ur stressed? im marrying an unsupportive woman in 7 weeks??

Lily Evans: *kiss emoji* eggrolls.

James Potter: yessir


James Potter to Lily Evans: but look at how CUTE he is

Lily Evans: no


James Potter: he likes milk

Lily Evans: impeachment song voice: no. no. no. no. no. nono. nononono.

James Potter: killjoy!

Lily Evans: remember the squirrel

James Potter: that was one. time.

Lily Evans: and yet, i have veto power

James Potter: will u always have veto power? like for the next sixty years?

Lily Evans: we had to call professionals in??? almost got kicked out??? our lease specifically and unequivocally forbids pets of any kind???

James Potter: technicality, yes, but as mum owns the building, pretty sure i could sway her w/ wedding leverage

Lily Evans: we are NOT having swans, geese, ducks, or other fowl at our wedding. so no leverage for u.

James Potter: killjoy!!!!!


week two.


James Potter to Lily Evans: he is a SHE

Lily Evans: …?

James Potter: THE CAT

Lily Evans: how do u

Lily Evans: nvnmd

James Potter: check ur snaps!!!

Lily Evans to James Potter: james. when u get home we need to talk abt appropriate things to snapchat.

Lily Evans: example: cats giving birth? not appropriate!!

Lily Evans: also, are u under the bushes in front of your work?

James Potter: ITS JUST LIKE 101 DALMATIONS

James Potter: except cats!

James Potter: and six of them.

James Potter: seven including boots.

Lily Evans: boots?

James Potter: have u seen HER feet? boots.

James Potter: the Miracle of Life. im transformed.                                             

Lily Evans: oh boy


Lily Evans to James Potter: babe. ur going to get fired for sending too many snapchats on work hours.

James Potter: my dad is the boss?

Lily Evans: he asked me to text sense into u. or to bribe u.

James Potter: rude.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Oh snappp your neighbor AU is lit. No rush at all but if you could also write one for Shownu it would be awesome.

find wonho (here) , jooheon (here), & kihyun (here)

  • king of owning three sets of the same colored bed sheets and kihyun once asked if shownu every washed them because??? they’re always the same??? and shownu was like “don’t you just buy the same thing in bulk when you go to ikea?” and kihyun was like no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh my god is that what you do
  • and shownu just shrugged because whatever he likes his grey bed sheets
  • doesn’t do decorations but let his mom hang up some photos of his family and stuff when she came over
  • you’d think he’d just ignore them, but he cleans the dust off the frames and adjusts them because,,,,,, shownu cherishes anything his mother does for him. he’s an amazing son and literally everyone in the neighborhood always tells his mom when she comes over that he’s so filial and they wished they had a son so polite and well mannered
  • because lbr shownu is the person who holds the door open for anyone he sees,,,,,,,,even if they’re still half way across the street
  • the only thing that ever makes him flustered is that one time a mom asked him to watch her son while she ran to re-park her car
  • and shownu was like ,,,,,,,,,,,,hi and the kid just started crying and shownu was like nO PLEASE,,,,IM SORRY FOR WHATEVER I DID TO DISPLEASE YOU
  • thankfully minhyuk was coming over and saw the whole mess and came to the rescue and shownu was just like “minhyuk,,,,,kids are terrifying,,,,,”
  • minhyuk looking at shownu whose literally swole and tall: what
  • you’ve lived next door to shownu for quite some time,,,,,but you two don’t really talk much because like well,,,,he’s not a small chit chat kinda person
  • and you’ve always thought he was handsome but like so what you know ??? your idols on tv are handsome too
  • but one evening,,,,you’re getting home super late and you try to grab for your keys in your bag,,,,,,but they’re gone????? and you sigh and take out your phone to text your friend who has a spare
  • but then you see a text from your boss telling you that you won’t be getting the promotion he promised you
  • and your friend with the spare just updated instagram with a photo at a club so you know they’re not gonna be able to help
  • and so you just slide down against the wall near your door and hold your bag to your chest
  • and life sucks,,,,,,,,in this moment,,,,so much so that you can’t control tears coming out and you wanna brush them away but like no one’s there to see??? so whatever
  • until ,,,,, there is someone,,,,, someone who’s too freaKING quiet so you only notice them when they step right in front of you and ask “is everything ok?”
  • and you look up to see shownu and you’re like oh gREAT the handsome, nice neighbor has to see you balling your eyes out on your doormat good job gg what a terrIFIC night this is
  • and you’re like “y,,yeah i got locked out it’s nothing,,,”
  • and shownu suddenly puts his hand out to help you up and you take it hesitantly and he’s like “staying out here would be dangerous. do you want to spend the night at my place? feel free to say n-”
  • but you’re shaking your head and you’re like “that would be very nice of you,,,,,,my spare is,,,,,in the hands of someone who is busy,,,,”
  • and shownu lets go of your hand and you notice how warm it was when he’d held it
  • and you follow him to his apartment where he lets you in
  • and you can’t help but look at the photos as you take off your shoes and you’re like “is this your family?” and he nods and you’re like “your mother is so pretty!!”
  • and shownu kind of is taken back, but just nods again and you’re like oops am i making this awkward
  • and he switches the lights on in his bedroom and he’s like “i know we’re strangers, but it would be impolite of me to let you sleep on the couch. my bedroom is clean, i promise.”
  • and you’re like dhkcblvj he’s worried about me thinking he’s gross,,,,,but he’s doing something really nice??????? he’s,,,,,,cute
  • and you’re like “i can take the cou-” but shownu puts a hand up and is like “please, that would be rude of me.”
  • and you’re like ok he’s such a gentleman????? what the heck
  • and you’re like “ok, well thank you!! ill wash my face then?” and he’s like pointing out the bathroom
  • and when you’re done you walk out to tell shownu thank you again
  • but you see him sitting on the couch, suddenly he’s got glasses on and he’s reading something with the cutest look of concentration on his face and you can’t help but stare at him a bit longer
  • when he suddenly looks up you’re like oH I Totally,,,,just came into this room anYWAY,,, thank you again!!!
  • and you like do an lil bow and shownu is like “it’s nothing!” and you’re like akhfgfs ok,,,ill go to bed now
  • but ofc u can’t sleep because,,,,,,wow this is shownu’s room,,,,,,,,the sheets smell like him,,,,,,,slight cologne but also fresh breeze,,,,,
  • and in the morning your friends texts you that she’ll be over in an hour
  • and you go to tell shownu whose up,,,,,,,,,,shirtless,,,,,making eggs,,,,,,,,and you almost trip and fall over
  • but when he turns for the first time you see him get embarrassed and he’s like “ah - oh one moment,,,” and rushes back to the living room to pull on his shirt again and you’re like trying to look down
  • and you’re both red,,,,,,and shownu is like “,,,, i,,,im sorry that was-” and you’re like “nO,,, no,,,,, it’s nice,,,i mean what no i mean it’s your home feel free um oh,,,,”
  • and shownu is like “would you like something to eat?”
  • and it’s cute you two eat together and shownu is a silent eater but it’s somehow really adorable and you can’t help but think he’d be a really ,,,, good bf
  • and shownu is like “you can stay here till your friend comes.” and you’re like ok!!! thank you 
  • and he’s totally turning on the sport channel but it’s whatever you’re happy to be in his company,,,,because shownu makes you feel safe????
  • and when ur friend tells you to meet her by ur door shownu walks you out and he’s like “maybe, if you think this is a good idea you could give me a spare, in case this happens again.” and you’re like good thinking i should do that!!!! 
  • but before you can thank him again your friend is like “oH I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH SUCH A HANDSOME MAN I GUESS YOU DONT NEED THE SPARE-”
  • and you’re like PLEASe,,, SHTU TUP ,,,,
  • and shownu is blinking like hmmm what does that mean-
  • and your friend winks at you two and waltzes up to shownu like “so,,, what’s your name? how long have you been dating my friend here?” and you’re like givE ME my KEYS 
  • while shownu is like ???? but also he’s like “oh they’re single?” and your friend is like YES THEYRE sinGLE
  • and you’re like dO NT FLirt on my behalf wait shownu why do you want to know if im single,,,,,,,,,????
  • shownu probably just wanted to know because coughs,,,,,,,,maybe he can take you out sometime,,, coughs
the noisy neighbors [m]

Originally posted by wanjacks

❛❛i live in a house full of stupid men and their dirty underwear except there is an angel in their midst and he cleans up after himself and does everyone’s laundry and we share the same neighbor who likes to have wild sex every night and the hot boy hates confrontation but i guess not when his dick is in my vagina❜❜ AU

COUNT → 7.143

GENRE → smut 

PAIRING → jinyoung | reader

WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | oral sex | explicit language | penetration | graphic dirty talk | spanking 

note → this is for my friend @loljinyoungie because it’s her birthday today!!!! birthday smut!!!! so if ur reading this. please feel free to send her a birthday message :-D i hope u like this smut though!!!!! i told you i would finish it!!!!!!!!! a little later than i planned but oH WELL HAVE AT ALL YOUR KINKS I HOPE I DID THEM JUSTICE. AND IF I SPELLED HIS NAME “JIMYOUNG” ANYWHERE IM GONNA BE SO MAD IDK WHY THAT IS EVEN A THING THAT HAPPENS


You really hated the fact that you were such a light sleeper.

One of your favorite sounds in the world was nothing. That’s not to say you didn’t have a favorite sound, but that your favorite sound was literally nothing. Nothing was the sound of a cool breeze blowing against your house’s exterior. Or maybe it was even the sound of rain dripping from your roof outside your window—sounds like those.

Nothing was white noise, but it also sounded cooler to say nothing rather than that.

However, the sound of bodies thudding into the wall next to you? That was definitely not white noise.

Keep reading

missing you - tom holland imagine #4

Originally posted by spiderholland

about : Tom is away at SDCC while promoting Spider-Man Homecoming. Things start to go downhill as a Facetime call ensues and jealousy arises. 


Warnings : a teeny bit sad. drunk tom!


-


The ID caller showed up on your phone and you grinned, flopping down onto the bed as you answered the call. Tom’s smiling face filled your screen and you giggled, greeting him with a simple ‘hello Thomas’.

“Y/N! It’s crazy here!” Tom shouted, “I’ve never seen anything like this before! There were thousands of people on the panel it was insane!”

“Are you having fun?” You asked, a small yet tired simper reaches your lips.

“Loads! Everyone’s amazing! Laura is here, Jacob is here, Tony is here, oh and Zendaya is here too!” He continued to ramble on about how everyone had secretly arrived to the convention but your heart sank at her name.

Tom was an extremely sweet person, and he was definitely good-looking. Your biggest fear from letting him leave to Atlanta was him finding someone new. What if he found someone else prettier, smarter and better than you? Maybe he was already tired of you.

And it didn’t help that Zendaya was a part of your worry. She was the kind of girl you’d always want to be. She was gorgeous and successful, not to mention extremely talented. You let your insecurity get the best of you sometimes and you would always feel a bit glum whenever you saw them together. However, Tom wasn’t aware that you felt that way.

“Isn’t Zendaya pretty?” you piped up randomly, playing with the hem of your sweatpants.

“Yes, she is. Why?” Tom sounded confused. He looked at something behind the camera and he laughed, slapping his chest.

“Oh, that’s amazing, Z,” he chuckled before looking back at you on the phone, “sorry babe, were you saying something?”

You were about to say something before he interrupted you, laughing again and talking to someone you could only assume was Zendaya. You could hear her laughter too and you flinched, feeling annoyed. Anger and jealousy was already bubbling inside of you. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at how he was so oblivious to you on the phone as he dropped his phone to his side so all you could see was his pants.

This was the first time in days he had facetimed you, and you felt so put off by how he wasn’t even paying attention to you.

Pissed off, you pressed the end call button hardly, ending the facetime. You put your phone beside you and picked up your laptop, trying to calm yourself down.

It seemed like the world wanted to rub everything in your face when you clicked on a random song on your spotify. Everything I’m Not by The Veronicas came on and you gasped, throwing up your arms in anger.

“Oh, come on!” You yelled at no one in particular.

The song blasted on your speakers and you sighed, letting it play.

Your phone beeped once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Tom’s face popped up on the screen, indicating a call coming in from him.

You ignored it, letting the ringtone play amongst the loud tunes of The Veronicas.

It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. This time you decided to decline the call.

A text came in. You peeked.

Tom x : babe, what’s up? u  just hung up?

10. 50 pm

Tom x : y/n? Im gonna call u again.

10. 52 pm

Tom x : why did u decline the call?

10. 58 pm

Tom x : did i do something wrong?

11. 05 pm

You snorted, picking up your phone and typing a quick reply.

Me : idk ask zendaya lmao

Me : im gonna sleep. Have fun at comic con.

Just as you were about to put away your phone, it vibrated.

Tom x : I think I know what’s going on. Are you jealous of Z?

11.08 pm

Tom x : I hope you know I love you, and that I will never eye another girl that’s not you. I understand how you feel, I get sad whenever I think of all the other boys that are with you everyday. So i dont blame you. But you can trust me love. I promise.

11.09 pm

Tom x : z and i are just friends, nothing more babe. Im way too in love with you. Also im sorry if ive been distant. I miss you so much and i havent been able to really talk to you. Ive been very busy with work and everything else i just idk i feel really guilty now.

11.11 pm

 

Tom x : call me back when u wanna talk. Im sorry, i love you. Xx

11.13 pm

You sighed, giving in. You could tell he was feeling really crappy about it as you watched a livestream of the convention. Marvel was holding a livestream for the interviews and you saw Tom pop up in the screen when you opened the website.

His eyes were downcast even though he had a small smile on his face. Tom was less energetic and gave the interviewer half-assed answers. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms and he fidgeted a lot on his feet.

His iPhone was gripped tightly in his hand, and every few seconds he went to check it.

Probably for my reply, you thought.

When the interviewer ended, you saw him walk away from the camera. The interviewer was about to interview Lupita Nyong’o next when another text from Tom came in.

Tom x : love i really am sorry. maybe u went to sleep already. Im sorry. I love you. Goodnight. Xx

11.25 pm

“Meh screw it,” you mumbled, pressing the call icon on his contact name.

He picked it up immediately after the third ring.

“Hello?” he said quickly.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, slumping on the bed, “sorry, I just got jealous. I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that.

“It’s just..I miss you so much Tom. And we haven’t facetimed in so long and.. I don’t know I was pretty pissed off by how you weren’t paying attention to me.”

“I know, I know,” you could hear his guilt from across the line, “I’m really sorry. There’s just been a lot going on right now.”

You sighed, “okay, now go and have fun. We can talk more later. I’m not mad at you anymore so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, I’ll be fine,” You lied through your teeth, even mustering a fake smile.

Tom hummed, before speaking again, “I’ll call you when you wake up. I love you so much, Y/N. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight,” you mumbled back as you hit the ‘end call’.

Grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed, you clutched it tightly into your chest as sobs began to rack through your body. The tears didn’t stop flowing, even after half an hour.

You’d think he would notice that you really weren’t okay.

You missed him so much.

And it already felt like, to you, he was slowly drifting away.

-

The next morning was horrendous. You woke up to the feel of your soggy pillow and puffy eyes. Rubbing your face, you snuggled further into your duvet.

There was no way you were going out today. Your heart felt the heaviest it had felt in a long time and nothing seemed to motivate you to get out of bed.

You missed him too much.

Making calls to everyone, you apologised for not feeling well and rescheduled everything.

Nothing mattered more than the ache in your heart. If your mind wasn’t in the game, there would be no point in getting into the game in the first place.

You decided to check your notifications and was surprised by the amount of texts Tom had sent in.

Tom x : Good morning, babe. I hope you slept well. I’m out here in San Diego, in some bar. Missing you. 💛

7.30 am

Tom x : I hope you’re not angry anymore. It’s been bothering me the whole day. I’m still sorry.

7.45 am

Tom x : baEb i lpve you si much…….im sorry yoi think i luv zebdaya….i dont… i love you im sorry

8.30 am

Tom x : jacOb says in Drunk! Haha@ he keeps tellinf me that i should go homE

8.35 am

Tom x : i sAid wherE? LonDon? He saiD no You IdioT the Hotel

8.36 am

Tom x : i saiD it aInt HoME UNLESS y/n is wit me

8.38 am

Tom x : jeusu chrisy i lovw you

9.00 am

Tom x : i jusT PUKED  I WISH YORE HERE Y/N YOU MAKe me FEEL BETTER

9.28 am

Tom x : I MISS YOUUUY

9.35 am

You stared at the screen, taking it all in.

Tom got drunk last night.

Yet, all his words seemed so sincere. Just before you could exit the chat, a new message came in.

Instead, this was from Harrison.

Haz O : hey y/n, i think you probably read the drunk texts tom has been sending. just want to tell you. tom has been drinking a lot for the past 2 hours. he’s upset, y/n. after he puked on the sidewalk, he cried. he cried about how much he missed you and how he didn’t deserve you. that you lie when you say you’re okay. he said that it would be easier if you both broke up. you could find someone better. so, stop being mad at tom. there’s nothing going on between z and tom. If they did, i would’ve told you. he’s feeling so guilty for no reason.

You felt hot tears gathering at the side of your eyes. He was beating himself up because of your jealousy. Guilt took over you as you fumbled to type out a quick reply. A plan was already forming in your head and although it involved a lot of money, you knew it would help in fixing this problem.

It was probably too reckless and spontaneous, but you had enough of missing Tom and clearly, Tom was sick of missing you too.

You : I’m getting on the next flight to San Diego. Take care of Tom for me. x

anonymous asked:

HI COULD U PLSSSS DO ONE WHERE PASTEL!DAN AND PUNK!PHIL ARE SITTING A TRHE LUNH TABLE AND PHIL STARTS PALMING DAN THROUGH HIS JEANS ANDWHISPERING DORTY THIGS ONLY HE CAN HEAR AND DAN MOANS AMD HE TURNS RED AND HAS TO PUT HIS HEAD DIWN UNTIL HE COMES AMD THE TABLE IS PRETTY KNOWING OF WHATS HAPPENING IM SORRY RHIS IS SO LONG BUT I WANT THIS SO BAD

YOUR CAPS EXCITE ME… *cough* I mean let’s do this. I also made Dan wearing shorts…

____________

- Dan knew he looked extra cute today. He was wearing baby blue booty shorts and a pale pink jumper. He had on white thigh-highs that had bows on them along with high tops. He had his favorite flower crown on, to top everything off. He was currently sat at a lunch table with his friends Cat, Louise, Pj, Felix, Marzia, and Jack. Oh, and his punk boyfriend Phil.

- Some people found it amazing that he and Phil were dating. They were polar opposites. Dan wasn’t complaining though. Except right now, they were having a stupid argument at the table, during lunch, and in front of their friends. And the topic they were arguing over was priceless.

- “Dan, just accept the fact that you have a daddy kink! I heard you mumbling it during your nap yesterday,” Phil chuckled, along with everyone else.

- Dan was about as red as a tomato. This was so embarrassing. He swears to god that ever since his nap the day before that the only thing coming out of Phil’s mouth was “what he thought he heard”. And well, Phil did hear correctly. Dan was calling Phil daddy in his dream. And boy was it fucking amazing. But Dan wouldn’t admit it to Phil. Dan was actually mad that he was saying this in front of their friends.

- “You must’ve heard me wrong! So shut the fuck up!” Dan snapped back, making Phil have a double take of what his baby just said to him.

- “Oh shit. Danny’s getting defensive about it!” Pj laughed, along with everyone sitting around them.

- Dan didn’t think it was possible to get any redder, but apparently he was wrong. Dan glanced over at Phil and saw the pissed look on his face. Dan didn’t really feel guilty about it though. Phil did bring this upon himself.

- “Aw, is Danny too embarrassed to speak? It must be true,” Felix mocked jokingly.

- Dan was about to make a smart ass comment back when he felt a big pressure on his crotch, making him gasp audibly. Everyone looked up from their food and gave Dan a strange look. Dan tried to speak, but he couldn’t. He tried his best to glance down without making it obvious. Phil’s hand was in his crotch, palming him roughly. He looked at Phil and saw the smirk on his face as he felt Dan grow hard very quickly.

- This was mortifying. They were sat at a table with their friends for fucks sake! And now Phil’s hand was in his crotch, rubbing quickly. Dan was now slightly squirming in his seat, he then heard a small chuckle come from Phil. Phil then leaned over and brought his lips to Dan’s ear.

- “That’s not a very nice way to talk to Daddy, baby boy. I should punish you for that. Bend you over my knee and spank that cute little bum of yours. But you would like that wouldn’t you? You’re such a dirty little slut. Daddy’s little slut. My little slut,” Phil whispered into Dan’s ear.

- Dan whimpered and bucked into Phil’s hand on accident. He doesn’t think he’s ever been more turned on in his life. He could’ve cum just by his words. The whole table was looking at the both of them oddly now. This just made Phil chuckle and grin. Dan knew pleasure must’ve been all over his face right now, so he crossed his arms on the table and buried his face in it.

- “You’re close already? Wow princess, Daddy’s words must have quite the effect on you. I’ll tell you what, Daddy is gonna fuck you so hard when we get home that you won’t remember your own name,” Phil leaned down and groaned into the squirming boy’s ear.

- Dan was done for, and he knew it. Phil’s hand had sped up even more now. Dan knew he was leaking heavy amounts of precum into his panties, showing a visible wet spot on the front of his cute shorts. Phil’s thumb had found it’s way to Dan’s clothed cock head and was rubbing it hard.

- “D-Daddy- fuck-” Dan whined, just loud enough for Phil to hear.

- Phil knew that in this instance that he himself was harder than he’s ever been. But he was focusing on his baby boy right now. And how close he was to ruining those god damn shorts that show of his amazing ass so well. God, Phil wished he could rip them off and fuck Dan on this very table. Fuck.

- Dan could feel the heat in his lower abdomen and his balls tightening. He was gonna cum. In front of everyone. He knew that everyone at the table was probably aware of what was happening. So, Dan shamefully started grinding up into Phil’s hand.

- “What a little whore. Grinding into my hand in front of our friends? You’re gonna cum like a good boy, aren’t you? I can tell by the way you’re breaths are getting faster and your thighs are shaking,” Phil breathed into Dan’s ear.

- Dan just nodded and gripped Phil’s thigh hard as he felt himself let go. Wave after wave of pleasure went through Dan’s body. Also filling up his panties in the process. Leaving a huge wet spot on the front of his shorts. Dan was basically panting as his high slowly faded away. He glanced up at the others at the table and two of them coughed awkwardly. Dan was not going to recover from this.

- “So what was that about not having a daddy kink?”

__________

~ Oliver

Send us your sins

The Waiting Game

Based on that Tumblr prompt found here. I’m sorry. This is essentially crack. Please don’t hate me.


Tommie Oliver once thought they were a patient person. They’ve dealt with enough bullshit in their life to know when to just take a few deep breaths and bite their tongue, and only seldom do they lay they’re foot down to swing a few punches. You’ve still got to stand up for yourself some of the time, otherwise who will?

“Billy, dude, you’re cheating! Where did you learn all those combos?”

“I figured them out by myself. This one is double jump, left punch, right punch, squat, circle, circle, jump, roll, left, roll, double backflip.”

“…Okay. What comes after ‘left punch’?”

Tommie smiles at the two boys relaxing on their couch, all of their focus dedicated to the game they’re playing on Jason’s Xbox.

Well maybe they can think of a few people who would stand up for them.

Jason reaches over Billy to grab a handful of popcorn, stuffing half of it in his mouth and throwing the other half at Tommie lounging in the recliner. “Dude will you text Kimberly? She was supposed to be here like an hour ago.”

“Didn’t she say she was stopping by Krispy Kreme for a coffee? Maybe it’s busy.”

“It doesn’t take that long to get a coffee Billy.”

“Relax Jase,” Tommie says, pulling their phone out of their pocket and clicking on Kim’s contact. “I’ll text her now. No need to get your jockstrap in a twist.” This earns Tommie another shower of popcorn.

“Yo dude where ya at? Guys are gettin antsy and Jasons being momish again”

“Also if youre still at krispy kreme get me a donut”

“Billy too”

“HEY YOU GUYS!” Billy and Jason groan as Zack throws himself over the back of the couch, kicking Jason’s stomach and elbowing Billy in the thigh. Surprisingly he doesn’t spill a single drop of his soda, which is good because Tommie’s certain their mother would murder them if anyone got a stain on the couch. “What level are you guys on?” He asks, taking a sip of his drink, still casually sprawled out on both the boys’ laps. Jason shoves him off and Zack manages to hold the can upright, even as his face kisses the floor. A scuffle ensues between the two (after Zack puts his drink down) and Jason’s controller gets lost in the cushions.

Billy pauses the game and turns to Tommie. “Has you’re cousin texted you yet?”

Tommie shakes their head. “Not yet.”

“Wait, cousin?” Zack gasps from Jason’s headlock, grinning. “Is this the hot one that lives in Texas?”

“Yes, my hot, very gay, cousin from Texas,” Tommie clarifies, rolling their eyes as Zack shrugs and twists out of Jason’s hold. They settle back into the couch, Zack picking at the popcorn while Jason steals a sip from his soda. “She’s been having troubles with her family since she came out to them, but her parents finally agreed to let her come up to Angel Grove to live with me and my parents for a while. She texted me yesterday when she was at the airport but I think her flight got delayed or something. She’s supposed to text me when she lands in Arcata.”

Just then Tommie’s phone beeps.

Zack laughs. “Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.”

Tommie shakes their head. “Nah it’s just Kim.”

KimPossible: “Sorry, got caught up in somethin”

Tommie frowns a little but before they have a chance to ask where Kim actually is another message comes through from their best friend.

KimPossible: “So I think I’m bi”

Tommie’s eyes widen and their jaw drops a little. “Holy fuck!”

“What? Is it Kim?”

“Uh… yeah. Dudes, she just texted me saying she’s bi.”

Jason jumps up cheering, punching the air a few times before holding out his hand to Zack who grumbles and digs into his wallet, forking over a twenty. Tommie ignores the boys as they start to argue who technically called Kim’s sexuality first and types a message back to Kim.

“DUDE! Fur realzzz?”

“Just like all the sudden right this moment? hell yeah do it!”

“I said I thought she was a lesbian and since lesbians are into women, I was half right so technically I only owe you ten bucks.”

“Zack that’s not how this works.”

“It’s kind of how it works.”

“Actually Zack, bisexuality is being sexually attracted to both genders, female and male, while homosexuality is strictly being sexually attracted to the same sex.”

“Thank-you Billy.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Tommie’s phone beeps and everyone goes quite, leaning towards Tommie expectantly.

KimPossible: “like as in I was just with a girl and iiii”

“OH FUCK!”

“Zack! Language!”

“GET IT KIMMY!”

Tommie shushes them and types back, “like WITH a girl or like with a girl and you looked at her and realized wow lets have sex and get married”

It takes a minute. A long, excruciating, bickering-boys filled minute, before Tommie’s phone beeps once more.

KimPossible: “like as in I PRETTY much just had sex with a girl”

For a long minute, no one says anything. They all just stare at one another with their mouths open and catching flies. And suddenly they’re all talking at once.

“I FUCKING CALLED IT!”

“She blew us off-”

“TO BLOW ANOTHER GIRL!”

“Jesus Zack, chill.”

“No! You know what, gimme the phone!”

“Wha- Zack! Hey! No stop!”


“??????”

“UM”

“WHA T”

“YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY SAY THAT AND NOT LIKE EXPLAIN IT AT ALL”

“ARE YOU GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO US!!”

“Sorry Kimberly that was Zack. This is Billy. Tommie currently has Zack pinned to the ground.”

“Ouch. That looked painful.”

“Yo Kim its Jazon. Thank you for coming out cuz I won twenty bucks from Za”

“PLe asE”

“KIMMY”

“BKI MMY”

“EDO NOT LEAVE ME HANDINHERE”

“Fucking Zack keeps stealing my phone and running away”

“But seriously??? Dude like what!!”

“K IM B E RLY ANN HART YOU BITCH”

“COME BACK”

“IM GOIG TO KICK YOUR ASS”

“Hi Kim. It’s Billy again. Jason’s holding Zack hostage in the bathroom. Tommie’s nose is bleeding which is why I’m texting you. Just wondering where you are.”

“Uh oh”

“Zack broke down the door. Tommie’s pissed.”

“I SWEA R TO GOD”

“KIMMYE AHT THE FUCKE”

“WHERE DID YOU GO WHAS GOING ON ARE YOH LIKE STILL HAVIGN SEX EITH HER”

“Kimberly its Jase. Dude please text back zacks gone nutzo”

“and wed all like details ;)”

“Okay it’s me again. so like whatisgoing on!! please just answere”

“dude don’t make us come over there”

“*sighs* we’ll wait”

“…”

“Alrigt done waiting what is the deal whats goinf on I s2g Kimberly”

“why are you doing this to us??”

“Did you fuck your phone into nonexistence”

“did you tumble headfirst into a black hole of bisexuality”

“and if you did can me and Zack join i”

“u*”

“Well technically Zack’s pan so I gue”

“*HEAVY SIGH*”

“KIMBERLY”

“Fucking zack”

“Ohmygod”

“Oh My God for Fuckks sake KIM”

“Okay you bitch its been almost an hour and we’re all dying what the hell”

“…………”

“Jason 1 moree, seriously holy shit where did you GO”

“You cant just sAy that and then disappear????”

“Kim these boys are killing me pppuuuleeaseeee!!”


An hour later and they’re all lying on the living room floor. Jason’s got a bag of peas pressed against his left eye and Tommie’s got a wad of toilet paper shoved up their nose. Zack has too many battle wounds to count. He might also be unconscious but the excitement from Kim’s first message has waned and left all of them too drained to check.

“When was the last time you texted her?” Jason whines. Billy walks into the room carrying two zip-lock baggies filled with ice; one he switches out for the peas and the other he lays across Zack’s back. Both boys grumble their thanks.

“Fifteen minutes ago.” They all groan in unison but it’s cut short when Tommie’s pocket dings.

KimPossible: “46 TEXTS”

“Finally! The pillow princess has arisen!”

Tommie rolls their eyes and frantically asks said ‘princess’ where she’s been. “Zack don’t make me pin you again.”

Zack snickers. “You know I don’t think that’s as punishing as you’re hoping for m’lady.”

Another ding. Tommie reads the message before bursting into laughter. Billy asks what she said and Tommie merely holds their phone out for the others to read.

KimPossible: “I was… SHE WAS STILL HERE”

Jason groans again as Zack holds up a finger, face pressed into the carpet, huffing out something that sounds similar to “called it, that bitch”.

“Laughing now cause I was right you were still banging her omg”

KimPossible: “a black hole of bisexuality?! haha”

KimPossible: “yes”

Jason groans again, tossing his ice bag on the coffee table. “Tell her to cart her glowing arse over here so we can tell her how much we hate her right now.”

Tommie salutes him but just as they finish relaying the message, another one comes through.

Baby T: “Hey Cuz! How surprised would you be if I suddenly showed up at your doorstep in the next, say, five seconds?”

Tommie gasps. “No way!” The boys look up at them just as the doorbell rings and Tommie’s sprinting for the front door. And when they open it they squeal. “Trini!”

“Hey!” Trini drops her bag as Tommie pulls her in for a hug, rocking back and forth in place and giggling.

“What the hell dude, I thought you were gonna text me when you got in? And I thought your flight got delayed? Bitch how are you?!”

Trini scoffs, pushing Tommie away to glare at them with mock anger. “Ay, hermana, give me a second to breathe. Geez you’re almost as bad as my mother.”

Tommie winces and tries for an endearing smile. “Sorry. How did that go anyways?”

Trini shrugs, picking imaginary lint off the leather jacket that seems oddly familiar but Tommie doesn’t know why because they’ve never seen Trini wearing it before. But then Trini sighs and says, “Eh, you know how my parents are. Angry they don’t get to control me anymore, but glad I’m out of their life,” and then Tommie’s too focused on wrapping their cousin up in a tight hug.

“Well you’re here now, that’s what matters.”

Someone coughs behind them and Tommie smiles before pulling back. “Oh yeah, my friends are here. They’ve been dying to meet you.” Trini picks up her suitcase and follows Tommie through the doorway into the living room. “Trin, these are the boys: Jason, Zack, and Billy. Boys, this is my cousin Trini.”

Zack jumps up from the floor with newfound energy and vaults over the couch again, bowing before the two of them. “Enchanté mademoiselle Trini,” he says, looking up at her and winking.

Trini’s brow raises. “Yeah that ain’t gonna work on me homeboy.”

“Yes, he knows that but he’s also an idiot so you’ll have to excuse him,” Tommie sighs, shoving past Zack and nearly knocking the lanky boy off balance. “We can throw your stuff upstairs in your new room later. Right now, I wanna know how you’re doing. Why didn’t you text me when you got to Cali?”

“Well you know my flight got delayed yesterday afternoon and we didn’t board until practically three a.m. this morning, so I basically slept the entire plane ride to Arcata. And then I wanted to surprise you so I grabbed a cab and got a ride up to Angel Grove and here I am.”

“So where have you been?” Trini freezes and everyone looks over at Billy who blushes sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nosy.”

Tommie smiles. “That’s okay B. Did you want to ask something?”

Billy fidgets a little in his seat before starting one of his long winded spiels. “Well a flight from Dallas, Texas to Arcata, California, is approximately 1,590 miles—or 2560 kilometers if you prefer metric—and depending on airline, departure time, and air turbulence, the flight time should have been six hours and eighteen minutes—twenty-two to twenty-five if you include actually getting off the plane. And then the ride from Arcata to Angel Grove is approximately seventy miles—one-hundred and twelve in kilometers—and then depending on traffic and the speed of the vehicle you traveled in, it would have been another hour and twenty-nine minutes to Angel Grove from Arcata airport. So combining all those times and estimating your plane left Dallas at four this morning, you should have arrived at Tommie’s house,” Billy pauses to look at his watch and mumbles a few numbers, “three hours, forty-six minutes, and thirteen seconds ago.”

Tommie glances at their cousin, confused yet intrigued. Trini laughs, an awkward sound that comes out pitchy and painful. “Smart one, isn’t he?” She clears her throat and wipes her hands on her jeans. “Well I did get here a few hours ago but I stopped downtown for some food annnd…” she drags out, peeking over at Tommie, “may have shared a coffee with someone.”

Tommie gasps. “Nuh uh! Dude you’re not here a full day and you’re already hooking up with some chick?! Fucking hell dude! Do I know her? Please tell me I don’t know her. What was her name? Ah! It better not have been Samantha Brow, that girl is super trashy. Or was it Eliza Fitzwilliam… wait is she gay? She’s gay right? Oh hell, If you say ‘Amanda Clark’ I might cut a mother-”

There’s a knock before the sound of the front door opening. “Guys?”

It’s Kim.

Tommie’s brow furrows for a second as Jason calls to Kim, watching as Trini’s face tinges red, fiddling with the leather jacket she’s wearing that Tommie knows they’ve seen before but on someone else, someone taller, with shorter hair…

The alarm bells begin to ring along with the sound of Kimberly making her way into the living room, saying, “Okay before anyone says anything, I just want to say-” And it’s like the oxygen gets sucked out of the room and everyone’s holding their breath as Kim notices the girl sitting beside Tommie. The girl currently wearing her leather jacket.

“Hi,” Trini says with a gentle smile.

And Kim laughs a little breathlessly. “H-hi.”

The moment lies on a tipping point, silence encompassing the room as everyone suddenly connects all the dots, and then…

“YOU FUCKED MY COUSIN?!”

let me love you (jefferson x reader x alex)

request : modern au??? angsty stuff !?? ooH basically ur eliza and Alex cheats on u and then u get pissed & break up w him and then go hook up w Jefferson to piss him off but then that becomes a thing and now Alex regrets everything (-anon)

warning : slight smut , angst, cussin, alex cheated so 

a/n : wooo writers block send me more requests. also its not v anon i know who sent this bc she kept on texting me to do it. 


“alex? what the fuck is this?” you choked, throwing your phone at him. Maria had texted you. is this y/n? im so sorry that i had to let you know this way. i just found out you are with alexander… we have been hooking up for about two months. im so so sorry he told me he was single. 

Keep reading

EXO REACTION TO YOU PUNCHING SOMEONE TO DEFEND THEM

KAI

*He watched in shock as your fist hit the face of his manager. One minute he was moaning at Jongin for his tardiness and lack of enthusiasm for what he was meant to be doing and the next he had blood seeping from his lip. You were shocked you had hit him too but the frustration was clearly too high to handle*

K: “I think we should run off now”

Y/N: “Me too”

Originally posted by kyungception

SEHUN

*You were not in the mood for anyones shit today so it was only natural for anyone testing your patience to be socked in the mouth. Today the poor (but not so poor bc he was being r00d to the king of asia) sod in your line of fire was a trainee who thought it was ok to disrespect your man. Sehun just stood back, hand covering his mouth as he tried not to burst out into laughter. As you walked away he followed you and stared with his kouth wide open pointing at where it just occured*

S: “Wow I can’t believe you just punched him, he is going to tell everyone..I..that was amazing, you really are the best”

Originally posted by blondejongin

SUHO

*You started a fight with this man because he dissed your man and you weren’t having that AT ALL. You punched him in the arm, brimming with overconfidence and stood back to realise u fucked up. Junmyeon saw the entire scene and knew he had to step in. 

STYLIST: “Is Y/N in another fight over you again?”

JM: “Yeah she is lovesick what can i say, I better go and jump to the defence”

STYLIST: Why do you need to take your top off?”

JM: Because I look good”

Originally posted by lawlliets

CHANYEOL

*All he heard were the words “Chanyeol hasn’t got a tiny wanger” followed by the screams of someone other than you.

CY: “Jesus christ here we go again”

Originally posted by kkaebsooquishy

BAEKHYUN

*You told him what you did to defend his honour, he didn’t say anything he just got up and walked to his laptop*

Y/N: “What are you doing, I just told you I punched someone and you walk off”

BH: “Well yeah Im looking for dispatch pictures i wanna use it as a meme”

Originally posted by evilkyubiased

D.O

*He got all wide eyed when you told him what you did, but then found it rather cute so his smile broke out. It’s not like you liked violence, or much physical movement at all so the fact you wacked someone for him was a bit of an honour really*

Originally posted by smileysoo

CHEN

*Word had gotten out that you the partner of Kim Jongdae hit a famous actor round the face for saying his hair looked like a sweet potato in Hey Mama. It really wasn’t too serious to him but you were NOT having someone call ur man a vegetable. A few days later Exo had an interview where Jongdae was asked how he felt about what went down. He had no response valid for this question so smiled until another member changed the topic*

 Xiumin: Anyways so about Kris leavi..”

Suho: Dont chANGE it to tHAT

Xiu will bring up anything to save his best friend buddy buddy of chums jongdae

Originally posted by dayafterdae

TAO

*This guy started getting rude to Martial arts king Huang Zitao because he admitted he was scared of heights. Tao was about to sass back but you got in there first and didnt look back*

“Lol u scared of heights you’re such a pus..”

*Tao couldn’t believe his eyes as your first came into contact with this mans nose*

T: Y/N what are you doing?? thats Kris!”

Y/N: “As in Kris wu former bandmate??…oh well you guys fell out anyways right”

Originally posted by ztaohs

LAY

*Lay was in a panic, as soon he had come to terms with the scene in front of him and grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the man you just hit*

YX: “You just punched the presidENT Y/N we are going to J A I L”

Y/N: “What was I meant to do she said your album was “pretty good” im sorry but it was AMAZXING (dont forgive me for this basic, common ass pun)

Originally posted by luedeer

KRIS

*He knew it was pointless top try and stop you when you were in fighting mode, however his manager told him to calm you down so he sarcastically and half heartedly said some words as the side*

K: oh no y/n stop..dont do that..you should calm down…and yep there we go she hit him”

*Fake surprised*

This gif is so cute im screnkfiwf THRU MY ASS

Originally posted by hyung-bi

LUHAN

UGLI: “Luhan sucks and the only thing he can get sucked is his dik by u u hOE”

*He had never seen you fling a bitch so hard in his lyfe, he stood back not wanting to get in the way of this*

Y/N: “I will have you know he could get his dicc sucked by many bitches ok, even tho he technically cant bc he is mine but you get my p0INT”

Originally posted by meiren-menglu

XIUMIN

*He stood and watched as you thew those punches to those who said he didn't love Luhan like Luhan loved him, you were hvaing NONE of that*

Y/N: yES he LOVED LUHAN OK HE DID LOVE HIM HE STILL DOES HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THEIR LOVE”

XM: “Yes she is mine believe it or not she is mine”

Originally posted by xiuboyfruits


banter m8

Go with the Flow

Originally posted by oh-prankster

Pairing: Mark x reader (there’s a lot of Donghyuck in this one sorry)
Genre: highschool!au, fluff , a tittle of angst
Warnings: none
Word count: 5,425


“Ah, please.” your best friend, and perhaps your only real friend other than this girl that sat next to you in class, Donghyuck whined, stomping on the marbled floor of the school hallway while tugging at your wrist. “You’re such a party pooper.” he pouted and let go off your wrist leaving it to hang against your side.

“You know I don’t like parties.” you pressed. A wallflower is what people would describe you as but you chose to describe yourself as just really shy. Throughout your childhood you didn’t make friends easily and the only friendship you had maintained through the years was with Donghyuck.

 The first meeting with him happened when you were five years old, your young jovial self building castles on the sand. Until they came crumbling down under the sole of someone’s shoe. You had looked up and were met with the devilish gaze of a boy with chubby cheeks looking down at you. It was only a matter of seconds before you were bawling, your tearstreaked face was a deep red and you were throwing handfuls of sand at the boy towering over you. That was enough for Donghyuck to start crying too and the whole situation suddenly had turned into a competition of who could cry the loudest. Up until his mother intervened and made Donghyuck apologize to you and help you rebuild your castle.

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im lov my mutuals

uhhh hi it’s your local loser here again but this time im full of love (pls excuse the lack of a banner im. lazy and i have writing to do hsjfdsj)!! over the past few monhs, i’ve made a Heckton of new mutuals nd i want to appreciate all of u because you all mean a Lot to me nd make my crocodile heart sing, so here goes!! (im sorry in advance if i mess up your notifs this got too long nd im the worst :(() 

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