i saw something like this somewhere else and thought it needed to be said about my future husband

The Arrangement (pt 5)

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

After having a quick dinner, you set the table with Jimin’s food and made your way to your room. You immediately started packing all that you could and all the while made a mental list of all the things you wanted to get at the store tomorrow before your in-laws would be home. 

Jimin came to the kitchen a little while later and he was expecting you to be sitting at the table, eating dinner. But instead, he found some dirty dishes in the sink and his food set on the table. He hated eating alone, but he got used to it at night. Sometimes you would eat with him for breakfast, but you only ever sat in silence. You had one friendly conversation after all these months, so nothing was supposed to change in your dynamic… right? He sighed as he pulled his chair out and sat down. 


The next morning, Jimin woke up to the sound of the vacuum. He turned to look at the clock and was surprised that it was already 9:30. Usually, he would have been at work by this time, but he had taken the day off in order to prepare for his parent’s arrival. He quickly brushed his teeth and took a shower in order to prepare for the long day ahead. He entered the living room a few moments later only to find it more clean than usual. You had always made it a deal to have the house clean, but everything was in tip top shape today. The magazines were all organized neatly on the coffee table and that vacuum patterns on the carpet were left to be admired. He looked up to your side of the house and found a few boxes outside. You exited your room a few minutes later, wiping off some sweat from your forehead. 

You hadn’t heard Jimin wake up and you figured you would just let him sleep in on his day off. You weren’t really sure how much help he would be anyways. 

“So…I guess I’ll move these boxes into my room then?” he asked, walking towards the first box.

“Oh. Uh, good morning. And yeah, that would be great, thank you” you said, thankful for the help. 

Pretty soon, all the boxes were moved into his room and you were almost done cleaning the house. You had been up since 6am, cleaning and packing and rearranging the guest room. You still had so much left to do though and you were tired just thinking about it. 

“How about you go unpack the boxes? I cleared out some space for you in the closet and in the bathroom” Jimin said. He could notice how tired you looked already, but the job had to be done. The act had to be perfect.

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Shape of You (3)

And so the drama begins. Can’t wait to share more of this story with you. Also Can’t wait for Tuesday when we get to see more of our precious Nessian pairing =)

One Two


Chapter 3

Feyre was waiting on the porch when we pulled into the driveway. After breakfast Cassian had somehow talked me into letting him drive the rest of the way. It felt good to sit and watch the trees, I was taken back to all the years I spent in the passenger seat anticipating our annual trip to the lake house. It was the only time we felt like a real family, when we spent our time together swimming and laughing.

That all stopped when our mother died. We lost a lot when our mother finally gave into her illness. In a way our father had become a stranger, we had lost him too. It was just the three of us, banded together in order to keep some semblance of a family.

Feyre came running down the walk and I smiled as she ran right into me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me only the way a little sister could. Tight and long, as if she thought she was enough to put me back into the girl she had once known. The girl she didn’t even realize was gone.

I hugged her back, “hey little sis.”

She pulled away to look at me. She touched my cheek, the same gesture my mother used to do so long ago. I couldn’t believe how much she looked like her. Feyre was our mother’s spitting image as well as her twin. She had the same gestures, the same everything. And she had been the youngest, she couldn’t remember much about the woman who never got to raise her.

“Nesta you look good,” she said softly running her thumb along my cheek, “I can’t believe how much I missed you, big sis.”

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anonymous asked:

I'm in the mood for some royalty!au these days ^^ how about bodyguard/knight/butler!iwachan with princess!reader? a bit of angst and fluff would be awesome! i already know I'm gonna love it because I always love your writing, so could you maybe also do this scenario with reversed roles in the future?

i finished this like 11 days ago but i had to save it so i could ensure there was a post going up for iwa-chan’s birthday today :^) so remember when i said i had five ideas for the first half of this request? this…. wasn’t any of those ideas lmao. i came up with this one and another idea which i think i’m going to use for the prince!iwaizumi scenario. i think this one is  going to be a multi-part. there won’t be a need to request the next parts because i’ll consider them as part of the original request

if you like what i do and want to show your support, consider supporting me on ko-fi!

- admin rachel lauren


“I’m not telling you as the king nor as _____’s older brother with some weird sister complex. I’m telling you as your best friend, and I’m telling this to you for your sake: you need to stop what’s going on between you and my sister.”

Oikawa lowered his shoulders. It wasn’t an easy feat to look at the man sitting before him and not take pity. Iwaizumi hands were gripping the arms of his chair, tightly, his head lowered enough so his eyes couldn’t meet Oikawa’s. “I know what I’m asking you to do is easier said than done, but _____ has known for a long time she can’t choose you as her suitor no matter how much she wants to. There’s laws even I can’t overturn, Iwa-chan.”

If the air in the room hadn’t been so thick with tension, Iwaizumi would have scoffed at the way Oikawa childishly muttered that last part. He remembered distinctly how much Oikawa enjoyed dressing up in commoner’s clothing, heading into a nearby town, and trying to woo some of the local girls when they were reached their teen years. Iwaizumi was always charged to go along with him, so he was an unfortunate witness to the eventual-king’s antics. Instead, he lowered his head a little more as his sole response.

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Lemonade

“Intuition”

I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing. Unknown women wander the hallways at night. Where do you go when you go quiet?

You remind me of my father, a magician … able to exist in two places at once. In the tradition of men in my blood, you come home at 3 a.m. and lie to me. What are you hiding?

The past and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a f*cking curse.

“Denial”

I tried to change. Closed my mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less awake. Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word. In that time, my hair, I grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated. Went to the basement, confessed my sins, and was baptized in a river. I got on my knees and said ‘amen’ and said ‘I mean.’

I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself into a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil. I grew thickened skin on my feet, I bathed in bleach, and plugged my menses with pages from the holy book, but still inside me, coiled deep, was the need to know … Are you cheating on me?

Cheating? Are you cheating on me?

“Anger”

If it’s what you truly want … I can wear her skin over mine. Her hair over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph, all three of us. Immortalized … you and your perfect girl.

I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know is, no one I know has it. My father’s arms around my mother’s neck, fruit too ripe to eat. I think of lovers as trees … growing to and from one another. Searching for the same light.

Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? Everyone else can.

“Apathy”

So what are you gonna say at my funeral, now that you’ve killed me? Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children, both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted. Most bomb p*ssy who, because of me, sleep evaded. Her god listening. Her heaven will be a love without betrayal. Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks.

“Emptiness”

She sleeps all day. Dreams of you in both worlds. Tills the blood, in and out of uterus. Wakes up smelling of zinc, grief sedated by orgasm, orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, “I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me. Pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.” Sometimes when he’d have her nipple in his mouth, she’d whisper, “Oh, my God.” That, too, is a form of worship.

Her hips grind, pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves. Whenever he pulls out … loss. Dear moon, we blame you for floods … for the flush of blood … for men who are also wolves. We blame for the night for the dark, for the ghosts.

“Loss”

Every fear … every nightmare … anyone has ever had.

“Accountability”

You find the black tube inside her beauty case where she keeps your father’s old prison letters. You desperately want to look like her. You look nothing like your mother. You look everything like your mother. Film star beauty. How to wear your mother’s lipstick. You go to the bathroom to apply your mother’s lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you.

You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face. Your mother is a woman and women like her cannot be contained. Mother dearest, let me inherit the earth. Teach me how to make him beg. Let me make up for the years he made you wait. Did he bend your reflection? Did he make you forget your own name? Did he convince you he was a god? Did you get on your knees daily? Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head?

Am I talking about your husband or your father?

“Reformation”

He bathes me until I forget their names and faces. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life. You are the love of my life. You are the love of my life.

“Forgiveness”

Baptize me … now that reconciliation is possible. If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious. 1,000 girls raise their arms. Do you remember being born? Are you thankful for the hips that cracked? The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.

“Resurrection”

Something is missing. So many young women, they tell you, “I want me a hu — see, all them make me feel better than you.” So how we supposed to lead our children to the future? What do we do? How do we lead them? Love. L-O-V-E, love. Mm-mmm-mmm. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. I just love the Lord, I’m sorry, brother. I love the Lord. That’s all I got.

When your back gets against the wall and your wall against your back, who you call? Hey! Who you call? Who you call? You gotta call Him. You gotta call Jesus. You gotta call Him. You gotta call Him ‘cause you ain’t got another hope.

You are terrifying … and strange and beautiful.

Magic.

“Hope”

The nail technician pushed my cuticles back … turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says, “I see your daughters and their daughters.” That night in a dream, the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. We leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath.

I wake as the second girl crawls headfirst up my throat, a flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.

“Redemption”

Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons, the zest of half a lemon. Pour the water from one jug then into the other several times. Strain through a clean napkin.

Grandmother, the alchemist, you spun gold out of this hard life, conjured beauty from the things left behind. Found healing where it did not live. Discovered the antidote in your own kit. Broke the curse with your own two hands. You passed these instructions down to your daughter who then passed it down to her daughter.

I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade. My grandma said “Nothing real can be threatened.” True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption and my torturers became my remedy. So we’re gonna heal. We’re gonna start again. You’ve brought the orchestra, synchronized swimmers.

You’re the magician. Pull me back together again, the way you cut me in half. Make the woman in doubt disappear. Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk. Knot after knot after knot. The audience applauds … but we can’t hear them.

Christmas Comes Early Part 10: The Wedding

The day has finally come when Betty and Jughead tie the knot. Gif courtesy of @bughead4days

 

Betty woke up with a start, not knowing where she was for a split second, but suddenly realizing that she was in her old room at her parent’s house. She had stayed there the night before, after the rehearsal dinner, so that she and Jughead could honor the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before they finally meet at the altar.

Not only was it Christmas Eve, it was her wedding day.

She lay in bed for a little while, listening to the hustle and bustle of wedding preparations downstairs.

“Go wake her up!” She heard her mom hiss.

“Give her a few more minutes, mom. Cheryl isn’t coming to do her hair and makeup for another 2 hours.” Polly reasoned.

“She needs her beauty rest. We’ll wake her up when it’s completely necessary.” She heard Veronica say in her no nonsense tone.

Betty smiled, taking it all in. She was officially a bride.

She thought about the rehearsal at the church the night before and then dinner at Pop’s afterwards. Her mom hadn’t said much, but everyone else had been in a lively mood and FP had given a wonderful toast to the couple. Betty and Jughead had managed to escape the boisterous wedding party dinner to have one last moment together before taking their vows.

“One more night as an engaged couple. Let’s celebrate.” Jughead had said quietly as he’d taken Betty around to the backside of Pop’s where no one could see them. It was cold out, but they knew they would soon be very warm.

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Happily Ever After? Part 2 of 2

Summary: After everyone the events at the rehearsal dinner, Liam has to decide how to get the love of his life back.

Word Count: 2.4K

Paring: Liam x Reader

A/N: This took me so long to get out. Once school is out the way I can put out more oneshots! @amylillian22 

READ PART 1 HERE

Originally posted by dylansprayberrysource


Liam’s POV

My mind was reeling.

Between the kiss and everyone, including my fiancé, discovering my secret, I had no clue where to start. I never wanted to hurt Hayden, yet I never intended to hurt (Y/N) either. I keep looking back and forth in both directions. On one side the girl I was supposed to marry was walking away and being comforted by her bridesmaids. On the other side, the girl that I knew I always loved was walking off to God knows where.

Both were going to walk out my life, yet there was one I wasn’t prepared to live without.The pack stayed behind as everyone else left. A part of me was glad they already knew.

“So. How’s it going buddy?”, Stiles finally said

Lydia glared at her boyfriend, everything about the look in her eyes was telling him to stop talking, but Malia didn’t notice.

“I highly doubt he’s okay”, she responded after sensing my chemosignals, “Who in their right mind would be okay after–”

She finally glanced in Lydia’s direction and immediately stopped speaking.

“It’s alright guys. I knew for a while now how I felt about (Y/N) and I thought if I buried how I felt, eventually my feelings for her would go away. I was so wrong. I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved her”

“Not even Hayden?”, Mason asked, even though he already knows what the answer will be

A part of me didn’t want to say it out loud. If I did, it would only attest to how awful I’ve truly been to her.

“…not even close”, I sighed

Everyone started telling me things would eventually be alright, but I was worried about now. For starters, I had to apologize to Hayden, if she ever planned on speaking to me again.


The next day, I made my way up to our home. Hesitantly, I raised my hand to ring the doorbell when the door flew open.

“What do you think you’re doing”, Valerie sneered, “Did you think you could just show up after what you did to her and things would get better? I thought you were better than this Dunbar”

“I’m not here to make things better because I know I screwed up. Hayden deserves to know the truth”

I could hear her heartbeat in the kitchen. She was standing still, undoubtedly listening in.

“Is it okay if I step in?”, I called out

“It’s your house too”, Hayden answered softly

I stepped into what was supposed to be a happy home, unaware of what to say next. The hall on the way to the kitchen was filled with pictures of the two us on vacation and at graduation. There were also pictures of us out with our friends, but one was missing.

We had a picture right in the middle of the wall that we took with the entire pack after we graduated. Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Kira came back to see us walk across the stage. It was a special day, but to have them all there made it a day we would never forget. Now it was nowhere to be seen.

That picture never left the wall before. Hayden wouldn’t have touched it if she didn’t have a reason to. Something like a friend that she saw kissing her boyfriend the day before being in that certain photo would do the trick.

I finally made my way to the kitchen to see Hayden sitting on the counter, twirling her favorite necklace in her fingers, not even acknowledging my presence. When she decided to look up, she gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes which were puffy and red. She had a lot on her mind and so did I, but I figured I should let her go first.

“How long?”, was all she had to break the silence

“How long was what?”

“How long have you been in love with (Y/N)?”

“Since high school”

She rolled her eyes and grimaced, “Then why did you start dating me then? I’m sure her no dating rule wouldn’t have bothered you that much unless…you’re the reason she has it in the first place”

I nodded as she correctly assumed what the issue was.

“You both loved each other, but for her to say she doesn’t want to do relationships anymore would me that you did something to make her feel that way. What did you do to her?”

“We both knew how we felt about each other, yet we still decided to stay friends. We never dated anyone else though. Pretty soon you came along and I never denied my feelings for you either. I never told her you were interested in me or that the feeling was mutual, so when she saw us kissing a Sinema I told her we weren’t anything to begin with and whatever we had ended right there”

Hayden sat in silence as she took in what I said. The silence was killing me. Even if she was angry at her, (Y/N) was still her friend and I had a feeling she was going to hate me for what I did to her. I hated me for what I did to her.

“She had a good reason”, she mumbled, “So she stayed my friend even though I was dating you?”

“(Y/N) and I never really spoke after that, but given that you two were becoming good friends and no one else knew, she never said anything and neither did I. She kept it all bottled up until last night”

Hayden had remained calm for the entire conversation, but it wasn’t that difficult to tell she was about to snap.

“Then go to her”, she sneered, “You dated me this entire time knowing you were in love with her. How could you love me and want to marry me when your heart belonged to someone else this entire time!? You hurt my friend, then turned around and hurt me too. This marriage wouldn’t have lasted if you’re still in love with her”

“Hayden, I…”

“It doesn’t matter anymore Liam! Just leave”, she yelled as she began to shake, “Don’t come near me ever again”

She stayed silent as tears rolled down her cheeks. This wasn’t supposed to be easy. Given what I did to the both of them, I didn’t deserve easy. I made my way out of my old home as Valerie’s glare burned a hole in the back of my head.

My next step was finding the girl who’s had my heart since high school.

(Y/N)’s POV

My bags sat at the door as I paced back and forth. It was just a few hours ago I kissed my friend’s future husband, who happened to be the same person I was in love with. Hayden hated me for sure. I never wanted to hurt her which was why I never wanted to tell her in the first place.

As I thought about the night before, it was hard not to be angry with myself. I spent so much time keeping my distance and making sure Liam never found out how I felt about him. The last thing I expected to hear was him confessing his love to me, then kissing me.

I wanted to be stronger than that. Spending years attempting to keep everything bottled up and just him being in close proximity was enough for my resolve to break. I couldn’t let it happen again regardless of how he felt. I refused after the way he hurt me.

My taxi would be here in fifteen minutes to take me to the airport. I wanted to be as far away from here as possible. As far away from Liam Dunbar as possible.

I sat patiently on the bed, when I heard my phone begin to ring with Liam’s name flashing across my screen. I didn’t really want answer, but curiosity got the better of me.

“Can we meet somewhere?”, he asked hesitantly

“I thought last night meant goodbye for good”

“Please don’t let it be. Give me fifteen minutes to explain, if you don’t want to anything to do with me afterwards, then I’ll be out your life for good. I promise”

The sincerity in his voice was what convinced me to hear him out. After everything that happened between us, he still wanted me to stay.

“Okay”

“Really?”, he said excitedly, “Meet me at Skyline in five minutes”

Before I could respond, he hung up the phone. He wanted to meet at where it all started. We met at the Skyline diner after school. Two nervous juniors sat across from each other, barely making eye contact. We managed to tell each other how we felt and the rest was history. Most of dates were there since it was all we could afford at the age of sixteen.

He had fifteen minutes, given that I needed to get to the airport. My flight leaves in four hours and I needed to get there early.

As soon as I pushed the door open, a waitress greeted me with a giant grin.

“You must be (Y/N). Liam is waiting for you. I think you know where he is”, she smiled sending a wink my way

Liam and I affectionately called the booth in the corner of the diner ‘our booth’. It was where we said our first of many I love yous and shared our first kiss. I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulled out all the stops in the short fifteen minutes he was given.

I made my way to the corner of the diner, where he was already waiting with a smile spreading across his face.

“I honestly didn’t think you would come when I mentioned Skyline”, he said happily

“Is that why you hung up?”

“Of course”

I could feel a smile beginning to spread across my face. Even after everything that happened yesterday, he was still the same.

“Why here?”

“This is where it started and if it doesn’t work out this is where it should end”

“That’s a little too poetic coming from you Liam”

“I try”, he said as a smile made its way to his face again, “I don’t want things to end the way the did. I actually don’t want it to end at all”

“You know why I’m a hesitant on agreeing to that, right?”

I didn’t want to be angry with him. I had a few years to get over how we ended, but rehashing those feelings again was going to take its toll on me at some point.

“I’m fully aware and I still want us to try…”

“To what? Be exclusive?”, I scoffed, “We tried something similar to that last time and it turned out so well”

He sighed and took a moment before he could respond,“I thought about you constantly. Even if what happened last night never happened, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it because she wasn’t you. There was a moment when I thought Hayden could have been the one that I loved, but I realized I was only doing it to try to forget you and that was impossible”

There it was again. The sincerity in his voice and written all over his face. He meant everything he said and it was hard not to feel that pull towards him once more.

“What makes you think I’m ready for this? Maybe I’m not ready to jump into a relationship since it worked out so great before”

“This won’t be anything like before. Things would be different. I’m different. No more lies”

“Mhmm”

My phone began to ring. The taxi company’s name flashed across the screen. Before I could react, Liam grabbed my phone off the table and answered.

“Yes? She can’t make it. Sorry for waiting so long to cancel. Have a nice day ma’am”

“Liam!”, I nearly yelled as I reached across the table to take my phone from him

Here I was again, in that close proximity I tried so hard to avoid. He tensed as stared into my eyes. Deep down I knew this was where I wanted to be because it felt so right.  There was always a part of me felt content with being around Liam. I fell in love with him without hesitation.

“(Y/N) I can’t  just let you leave without telling you how I feel”, he said as he moved to sit next to me, “I never stopped loving you. What I did was unacceptable and I didn’t even apologize for it. I’m so sorry for the way I treated you because I never wanted to hurt you. Over the years I knew you wanted nothing to do with relationships because of me drove me crazy. I wanted to be the one to make you happy, but I did the complete opposite for my own selfish reasons. I can’t make you stay, but if you do, I’ll spend every moment trying to make it up to you. The only person I want to be with is you”

Silence soon took over as I let what he said sink in. His nerves were getting the best of him. There was no reason for him to apologize in the first place, since I forgave Liam a long time ago. The only problem was me not being able to move on, which hurt the most. Liam loved me. I loved Liam. It was that simple.

“Liam I already forgave you”, he visibly relaxes, “but I’m not ready to jump into a relationship just yet. It was impossible for me to stop loving you. If this is going to work, I think we should take our time because I really want this to work”

“I’m willing if you are”, he smiled, “I don’t care how long it takes as long as I get to be with you in the end. I just want to make you as happy as you make me”

I smiled back, “I love you so much”

“I love you more”

“Your fifteen minutes are up”

His eyes lit up as he started to laugh, “I guess I should be quick then”

Liam looked at me hesitantly as if asking for permission while he held onto my hand. I smiled and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. In that moment it all made sense. This was definitely where I needed to be.


The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith (a.k.a. Carol)
  • Or to live against one’s grain, that is degeneration by definition.
  • Bu the most important point I did not mention and was not thought of by anyone - that is rapport between two men and two women can be absolute and perfect, as it can never be between man and woman, and perhaps some people want just this, as others want that more shifting and uncertain things that happens between men and women. 
  • The music lived, but the world was dead. And the song would die one day, she thought, but how would the world come back to life? How would its salt come back?
  • Carol raised her hand slowly and brushed her hair back, once on either side, and Therese smiled because the gesture was Carol, and it was Carol she loved and would always love. Oh, in a different way now, because she was a different person, and it was like meeting Carol all over again, but it was Carol and no one else. It would be Carol, in a thousand cities, a thousand houses, in foreign lands where they would go together, in heaven and in hell.
  • “I wonder if I’ll ever want to create anything again,” she said.
    “What brought this on?”
    “I mean - what was I ever trying to do but this? I’m happy.”
  • “What’s going to happen when we get back to New York? It can’t be the same, can it?”
    “Yes,” Carol said. “Till you get tired of me.”
  • “Is it? You can just start and stop?”
    “When you haven’t got a chance,” Carol answered.
  • What was it to love someone, what was love exactly, and why did it end or not end? Those were real questions, and who could answer them?
  • “Lines,” Carol said. “I can’t compete. People talk of classics. These lines are classic. A hundred different people will say the same words. There are lines for the mother, lines for the daughter, for the husband and the lover. I’d rather see you dead at my feet. It’s the same play repeated with different casts. What do they say makes a play a classic, Therese?”
  • “A classic is something with a basic human situation.”
  • “Yes,” she said, smiling. (…) Her answer sounded rather flat, but what other answer was there?
  • She never saw here, but it was pleasant to have someone to look for in the store. It made all the difference in the world.
  • Therese struggled against the chair, knowing she was going to succumb to it, and even aware that she was attracted to it for that reason.
  • Therese dressed herself and went silently out the door. It was easy, after all, simply to open the door and escape. It was easy, she thought, because she was not really escaping at all.
  • She started to ask him (…), but he didn’t, because what would matter if he did or didn’t?
  • The name, the address, the town appeared beneath the pencil point like a secret Therese would never forget, like something stamping itself in her memory forever.
  • She took with the pen poised over the card, thinking of what she might have written - “You are magnificent” or even “I love you” - finally writing quickly the excruciating dull and impersonal: “Special salutations from Frankenberg’s.”
  • “(…) Do you think you have time?” 
    “Yes, certainly.” It was twelve-fifteen already. Therese knew she would be terribly late, and it didn’t matter at all.
  • “I think you are magnificent,” Therese said with the courage of the second drink, not caring how it might sound, because she knew the woman knew anyway. She laughed, putting her head back. It was a sound more beautiful than music.
  • Therese glanced at her face that was somewhat turned away, and again she knew that instant of half-recognition. And knew, too, that it was not to be believed. She had never seen the woman before. If she had, could she have forgotten?
  • In the silence, Therese felt they both waited for the other to speak, yet the silence was not an awkward one.
  • “How is it you live alone?” the woman asked, and before Therese knew it, she had told the woman her life story. 
    But not in tedious detail. In six sentences, as if it all mattered less to her than a story she had read somewhere. And what did the facts matter after all, whether her mother was French or English or Hungarian, or if her father had been an Irish painter, or a Czechoslovakian lawyer, whether he had been successful or not, or whether her mother had presented her to the Order of St. Margaret as a troublesome, bawling infant, or as a troublesome, melancholy eight-year-old? Or whether she had been happy there. Because she was happy now, starting today. She had no need of parents or background.
  • “What could be duller than past history!” Therese said, smiling.
    “Maybe futures that won’t have any history.”
  • She was still smiling, as if she had just learned how to smile and did not know how to stop. The woman smiled with her, amusedly, and perhaps she was laughing at her, Therese thought.
  • “What a strange girl you are.”
    “Why?”
    “Flung out of space,” Carol said.
  • As if they were lovers, Therese thought. It would be almost like love, what she felt for Carol, except that Carol was a woman. It was not quite insanity, but it was certainly blissful. A silly word, but how could she possibly be happier than she was now, and had been since Thursday?
  • The wind was like ice against her teeth. Carol was a quarter of an hour late. If she didn’t come, she would probably keep on waiting, all day and into the night.
  • Therese looked up at her, unable to bear her eyes now but bearing them nevertheless, not caring if she died that instant, if Carol strangled her, prostrate and vulnerable in her bed, the intruder.
  • A world was born around her, like a bright forest with a million shimmering leaves.
  • She remembered reading - even Richard once saying - that love usually dies after two years of marriage. That was a cruel thing, a trick. She tried to imagine Carol’s face, the smell of her perfume, becoming meaningless. But in the first place could she say she was in love with Carol? She had come to a question she could not answer. 
  • “ (…) The first adventures are usually nothing but a satisfying of curiosity, and after the one keeps repeating the same actions, trying to find - what?  (…) Is there a word? A friend, a companion, or maybe just a sharer. What good are words? I mean, I think people often try to find through sex things that are much easier to find in other ways.”
  • At any rate, Therese thought, she was happier than she had ever been before. And why worry about defining everything?
  • “Do people always fall in love with things they can’t have?”
    “Always,” Carol said, smiling too.
  • “Are you a painter, too?”
    “No,” Carol said with another smile. “I’m nothing.”
    “The hardest thing to be.”
    “Is it?” 
  • The wine in her head promised music or poetry or truth, but she was stranded on the brink. Therese could not think of a single question that would be proper to ask, because all her questions were so enormous.
  • “Everything’s not as simple as a lot of combinations,” Therese added. 
    “Some things don’t react. But everything’s alive.”
  • “I remember being sure that nothing would happen to me then, but some other time, yes, eventually. And it made me very happy. I thought of all the people who are afraid and hoard things, and themselves, and I thought, when everybody in the world comes to realise what I felt going up the hill, then there’ll be a kind of right economy of living and of using and using up. Do you know what I mean? (…) Did you ever wear out a sweater you particularly liked, and throw it away finally?”
  • I feel I am in live with you, she had written, and it should be spring. I want the sun throbbing on my head like chords of music. I think of a sun like Beethoven, a wind like Debussy and birdcalls like Stravinsky. But the tempo is all mine. 
  • An inarticulate anxiety, a desire to know, know anything, for certain, had jammed itself in her throat so for a moment she felt she could hardly breathe. Do you think, do you think, it began. Do you think both of us will die violently someday, be suddenly shut of? But even that question wasn’t definite enough. Perhaps it was a statement after all: I don’t want to die yet without knowing you. 
  • “It just seems vague,” Therese said.
    “What does?”
    “The whole lunch.”
    Carol gave her a glass. “Some things are always vague, darling.”
    It was the first time Carol has called her darling. “What things?” Therese asked. She wanted an answer, a definite answer.
    Carol signed. “A lot of things. The most important things. Taste your drink.”
  • I feel I stand in a desert with my hands outstretched, and you are raining down upon me. 
  • “It’s an acquired taste. Acquired tastes are always more pleasant - and hard to get rid if.”
  • Therese waited by the table while Carol was gone, while time passed indefinitely or maybe not at all, until the door opened and Carol came in again.
  • She saw Carol’s pale hair across her eyes, and now Carol’s head was close against hers. And she did not have to ask if this was right, no one had to tell her, because this could not have been more right or perfect. 
  • “Are you just a habit?” she asked, smiling, but she heard the resentment in her voice. “You mean it’s nothing but that?”
  • “I mean responsibilities in the world that other people live in and that might not be yours. Just that now it isn’t, and that’s why in New York I was exactly the wrong person for you to know - because I indulge you and keep you from growing up.”
    “Why don’t you stop?
    “I’ll try. The trouble is, I like to indulge you.”
    “You’re exactly the right person for me to know,” Therese said.”
    “Am I?”
  • Nothing about Richard mattered so much to her as the way Carol blotted her face with a towel.
  • Carol wanted her with her, and whatever happened they would meet it without running. How was it possible to be afraid and in love, Therese thought. The two things did not go together. How was it possible to be afraid, when he two of them grew stronger together every day? And every night. Every night was different, and every morning. Together they possessed a miracle. 
I wasn’t ready {N.M Imagine}

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It sucks that you can’t see the future , had you known 6 months after you got married you’re husband would want “a break” from your marriage you wouldn’t have gone through with it.


Now here you are, 9 months later separated for 3.


You came home one day to some of his things gone and him waiting just to tell you he needed time away, to focus on work which probably really meant be around other women because how could you possibly be a distraction? You do nothing but support him.


Maybe people were right, he only married you because you had two kids together that weren’t planned.


Speaking of your kids, he hasn’t see them in 3 months either, you’ve been doing everything yourself, you barely get to see your kids since you’ve had to start working more to make sure you didn’t wind up homeless.


Your oldest, Lila is old enough to understand that something is going on and wants to know where daddy is, she’s almost 5, she’s seen her dad everyday her whole life then suddenly he’s gone.


She use to ask a lot of questions and always wanna call him before she went to bed, he answered for two weeks then just stopped.


Your youngest, Gracie is only a year old she really couldn’t careless about anything.


You scroll through your Twitter feed and as always there was a bunch of pictures of him, some old some new.

You can’t help but notice he took his ring off and well that hurt worse than the day he left.


You don’t understand what he’s doing, if he wants a divorce he should just say so and stop dragging you and your daughters along like this, it isn’t fair.


Your front door flies open and you hear “Lila don’t run!”


You and get up to greet your daughter “hey baby”


Seconds later Sam walks through your door with Gracie.


Grace loves Uncle Sam, you can understand why that’s he only “father” she’s known, he wasn’t very involved with Grace.


You sometime believe he didn’t want her, when you told him you were pregnant again his reaction just seemed…fake but you chose to ignore it.


You don’t think he didn’t love her or anything like that he just didn’t seem to be the same with grace as he was with Lila.


It sucks that both your girls look like their father, just another reminder of what could’ve been.


“So did you guys drive Uncle Sammy crazy today?” You tease knowing Lila can be quite the handful sometimes.


“Don’t they always” he puts Grace on the floor.


You laugh “Lila take your sister in the living room and go watch TV ok? Mommy will be right there but wait say goodbye to Uncle Sam”


“No mommy! I want him to stay”


“I know you like spending time with him but he has a life too baby”


“Hey, it’s fine I mean we all have to eat don’t we? Lets go out somewhere, when was the last time you left the house for fun y/n?”


You don’t even know the answer to that question.


“Come on mommy”


You give in because your daughter is your weakness can’t say no to her “Okay fine”


You thought when your husband disappeared all the people he had brought into your life would disappear too but they didn’t most of his friends still want relationships with your daughters and you really appreciate it but why cant they get their friends to see his own kids?


More unanswered questions to add to your list.


Hours later


You finally got your girls to leave Sam alone so he could go out and have fun instead of playing daddy to your children.


Now your girls are finally asleep so you can finally have time to yourself watch grown up TV.


but then your doorbell rings and scares the shit outta you.


You were gonna ignore it but then it rang a few more times and you didn’t want the girls to get up so you went to answer it.


You regretted it the minute you saw who it was.


Nate.


“Are you fuckin Sam?” Is the first thing he says to you.


“What? No of course not” We’re still married.


Why are the girls always with him? You leaving them for your new boyfriend?”


“I don’t have a boyfriend okay? Will you please be quiet they’re asleep” the last thing you need is for Grace to wake up.


“He’s not their father”


“I know that, but I need help sometimes and you…y-you disappeared on us” you really hope you don’t start crying in front of him.


“I didn’t-”


“Don’t even, you did and you know it” now you were getting pissed how dare he try and say he didn’t disappear on his family, you didn’t care so much about you, it was your kids you cared about.


“You can’t replace me”


“I don’t wanna replace you but like I said I need help sometimes and he offers that’s it, why are you here? You know the girls go to bed around this time” he probably forgot.


“Needed to clear shit up”


“Well you did so you can go now, let me know ahead of time when you wanna see them” you wanted to bring up your marriage but you didn’t exactly know how.


“I don’t want you to be around Sam no more”


“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t be around”


“We’re married for fuck sake” did he just play the marriage card?


“Are we? I mean that never stopped you”


“I haven’t done anything y/n” why is he telling you this?


“Whatever its your business not mine”


“So you don’t care if I’m with someone else?”


You shrug “My opinion is irrelevant in this so called marriage so it doesn’t really matter does it?”


“I guess you’re still mad at me then”


“Are you kidding? I come home one day and all your stuff is gone and then you tell me you need space from me to focus on your music, when it was never a problem before then you go MIA for three months and I’m not suppose to be mad?”


“When you say it like that…”


“Look Nate if you want a divorce just say so”


“I don’t”


“So what the fuck kind of game are you playing? If you don’t want that why would you just cut me off like that and go out and party like you’re single?”


“Because y/n I wasn’t ready for marriage”


“So it was only because we have kids” that hurt.


“No, I love you I swear I just think maybe we could’ve waited a little longer”


“Why didn’t you just say so?” You would’ve waited a little longer if that’s what he wanted you would never force him to marry you if he wasn’t ready for it.

“I didn’t wanna hurt you”


“Too late” did he really think getting separated would’ve hurt worse then delaying your wedding?


“I know but this probably mean much to you but I am sorry, seeing you with Sam all the time and with my daughters I didn’t like how It felt” he confesses.


“Now you know how it feels”


“I can never make up for how I’ve hurt you with words but if you’ll let me I’d like to fix things, be back in your lives and the girls”


“You took your ring off…”


“Yes but I always have it with me, I didn’t feel like I deserved it anymore.” He takes the ring out of his pocket to show me.


“I…”


“I get it if you need to think about it but if you’ll let me, I’d like to see the girls tomorrow”


You’d love to let him take the girls, they need to spend time with their dad but if you take him back, how do you know he won’t do this all over again?


“I’d love too Nate but…how do I know you won’t do this again in 3 more months? I can’t out my kids through that again and I wanna be married to someone who knows for sure they wanna be married to me”


“Y/n I swear on my career that love you and I wanna come back home, I did need the time away and I shouldn’t have cut you off like that”


“No you shouldn’t have”


“I’ve decided to take a break from releasing music and touring, so I can spend time with all three of my girls”


He must really be serious about this if he’s taking a break from his music.


“Okay, fine you can come home” you tell him finally.


“Really?” His face lights up.


“Yes”


He catches you off guard and kisses you and after a few seconds you kiss back, you probably shouldn’t have taken him back so easily but you can’t help it, you missed him and so did your kids.


“I’m sorry” he says again.


You sigh “I’m sure you are”


“I love you”


You’ve been waiting so long to hear him say that again.


“I…love you too”


Seconds later your moment was interrupted “daddy?”


You turn to see your oldest at the top of the stairs.


You turn back around to him “Duty calls”


He heads toward upstairs.


You hope you aren’t making a huge mistake

******

[Mark] Teacher's Pet (Chapter 74)

All Chapters

I feel it in my gut, it’s Olivia, his ex. He must have seen her walking out, he knows I’ve seen her. His reaction will say it all. My heart jumping in my chest, I open the door of the restroom, and find an agitated Mark pacing up and down. His hair is a mess, indicating he’s ran his hands through it and pulled at it. He stops dead in his tracks and looks up at me, eyes wide with alarm. He says it all.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” I ask. “It’s Olivia.” I murmur. The absence of frown, the lack of confusion on his face, the way he just gapes at me. He’s so busted.

“Abby-”

“You’re seeing her?!” I splutter, a wave of anger sweeping through me.

“No!” He cries, walking to me. “No, it’s not like this.” He says. So he did see her multiple times, he is in contact with her. Why?

“Come, let’s go home.” He takes my hand, but I yank it out of his grip.

“You saw her yesterday.” I mutter. The sound of voices make us look at a couple who’s walking towards the restroom.

“Not now, please. Let’s go home.” Mark says more quietly, taking my hand again. I obey, because I know this is not the right place to do this.

I’m fuming by the time Jacob, our occasional driver closes the door of the car. Mark sits next to me on the backseat, squeezing my hand. I completely shut him out, gazing out the window the whole way home.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he’s seeing her. Olivia, the woman who used to beat him, the woman who’s one of the causes of his psychological issues. I can’t believe he’d want to see her.

One again, he did all of it behind my back. Even if he had a good reason to see her, he hided it from me. He’s a sneaky son of bitch.

Why? Why would he want to see her? He saw her yesterday. He saw her yesterday and missed my graduation ceremony. He went to Seattle because of her. He chose her over me.

He chose this woman over me.

I love him with all of my soul, and she used to beat him, yet he chose her.

It feels like being stabbed in the heart, and the knife keeps twisting with ever thought bouncing in my head. He was with her. What did he do with her?

It’s the second time I find out he has contact with one of these women I despise. The second time he hides it from me. What is he looking for by them? Why attracts him to them like this? Why does he keep going back to them?

Ellie was a thing. But Olivia, that woman. The person I hate the most on heart. That is something else. I’m not sure I can overcome this. Whatever this is.

Will I ever get past that betrayal, of whatever nature it is? Can I survive this betrayal?

I’ve lost all my words by the time we come home, and I feel exhausted, both emotionally and physically. My lips firmly sealed, I kick my heels off, slip out of my dress, throw on a satin nightdress, brush my hair, tie it up, then erase my make up and brush my teeth. Mark doesn’t come bother me, wandering somewhere in the apartment. Of course he doesn’t come to me, because he’ll have to explain, and I know he dreads this conversation. When I’m done, I make my way down the hallway into his office. Then I sit down on his desk and contemplate my wall.

When things are not okay between Mark and I, I come here and sit down. It brings me back to what I know, that he loves me and that he doesn’t want to hurt me. It doesn’t make the wound it my heart hurt less, but gives me purpose to fight. I don’t know if I’ll push through this, hut I have to try.

The door opens and I turn my head in its direction, finding Mark standing in the doorway, changed in nothing but some sports shorts.

“You came late to the graduation ceremony because you were with her.” I say, my eyes cold and hard.

“I didn’t sleep with her.” He murmurs quietly, closing the door behind him.

“I still feel betrayed and cheated on.”

“I understand.” He replies.

“What did you do with her?”

“I take care of her. Financially.” He says.

“What?”

“I regularly give her money.” He explains. What the hell?

“She doesn’t need money!” I snap pushing myself of his desk.

“She’s ruined.” He counters.

“I take care of her business, and I’ll give it back to her when it starts working again. But for now she needs my help.”

She needs his help? And he cares? He fucking cares for her? Suddenly, I feel like my heart is being crushed in my chest.

“You…” I start, but my throat is blocked, and through air drains out of my lungs. He cares for her. He cares for her.

“You…” I stutter. His brow ceases, and he takes a step forward, reaching out to me.

“Breathe, Abby.” He coos, grabbing my shoulders.

“Don’t touch me!” I jerk away from his touch and turn on my heels, walking ti the windows. Running a hand through my hair, I sigh deeply. I really don’t know how to handle this.

“Her husband left her because she was crazy.” He continues. “That made her mental problems even worse, and she fucked up her life. She came to me.” He says.

“When?” I ask without looking back at him. The only answer I get is silence.

“When?” I snap, turning to glare at him.

“Remember the red-haired woman who broke inside my old apartment?” He asks. It was her? He told me they never caught her!

“She confessed to me three years ago. She came to office and cried, she said she was going to kill herself.” He explains. So, this has been going on for three whole years? This, whatever it is, feels as wrong as an affair.

“She needs doctors, not your money.” I say slowly.

“She won’t go the hospital.” He sighs.

“Can I know how long you planned to keep that up behind my back?” I ask. This is the problem with him. He hides things from me and when I find out, he’s sorry. I always have to forgive, he never makes the effort of telling me.

I don’t know how I would have reacted if he had told me from the start, but all I know now is that he’s a sneaky bastard.

“Try to understand-”

“You lied to me!” I utter. He wants me to understand?! I would never lie to him about something like this. I would never support someone who made me feel suicidal.

“It never made me happy. I wasn’t pleased to hide it from you.” He says. Oh, like someone had forced him!

“Then why?”

“I don’t want my past to stain my future.” He murmurs.

“She’s not your past, she’s your present!” I shout. “She’s here, right now!”

“By not telling you, I was keeping some distance.” He replies calmly, not fazed. I groan, running both hands in my hair, my head feeling like it’s about to explode, emotion sweeping though me like a tsunami.

“How can you do this?” I ask. “How can you take care of her after what she did to you?”

I see his expression change, going from calm yet apologetic to straight, giving nothing away.

“I beat her.” He says quietly.

“Don’t even go there.” I raise my index at him. We’ve had this discussion countless times, and I hate that I can never make him change his mind.

“She’s a woman, and I hit her.” He articulates. She deserved it! So that’s why he’s giving her money? Because he feels bad? Wait.

“She’s holding it against you, isn’t she?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him. “That bitch is blackmailing you!”

“No, I’m holding it against myself.” He retorts. “I feel responsible for her.” He says.

“You’re not!”

“Maybe I’m not, but that’s how I feel.” He says. So, it’s always going to be like this. I realize it now, all the progress he made went away when she reappeared. One step forward three steps back.

How can he possibly free himself from his past if it’s constantly begging for money?

“Stop taking care of her.” I order. That’s not something I do a lot, ordering him. But he’s going way too far and he hurt me. There’s no way I’m living with this weight, so there’s only one option.

“I can’t.” He says softly. He can’t. He doesn’t want to. I nod, not finding anything to say, absorbing it all. This is the last drop before the vase overflows. I decide I’ve had enough, and walk past him to the door.

“Abigail.” He admonishes, grabbing my wrist. I stop and turn to him.

“Stop taking care of her.” I repeat. He opens his mouth be no sound comes out for a moment.

“It’s just money.” He says. It’s just money. And it’s just Olivia Russet. Of course.

“Stop taking care of her!” I shout, losing my patience. He gazes at me for a long moment, his eyes filled with sadness, and slowly, he shakes his head.

“That’s it.” He say more quietly, my voice failing me, my throat tightening, tears wildly pouring out of my eyes. “Choose her over me.” I mutter, yanking my arm free from his grip. I turn on my heels and storm about of his office.

“I’m not choosing anyone over you.” He calls after me.

“Abby!” He shouts, following me into our bedroom.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” I mutter, my voice shaky because of my tears. I circle the bed and get to my side, flipping the covers.

“I’m not choosing her over you.” He repeats, but I’m not listening. He’s wrecked me and I need to cry this out before I go crazy. I slip under the covers and curl myself into a ball, giving my back to him.

The bed dips and I feel him close to me, his breath against my ear.

“Are you going to ignore me now?” He asks, I don’t reply, crying silently, trying to shut him out.

“She threw a fit yesterday, she threatened to hurt herself if I left.” He explains, his voice soft.

“I didn’t want to miss the ceremony, you know it.” He says. No. I don’t know anything anymore.

“Stop supporting her.” I plead one last time, before letting the tears take over. I break into more tears, sobbing, my whole body shaking violently. Mark slips under the covers next to me, and then I feel his arms around me.

“Let me hold you.” He pleads.

“Don’t touch me.” I sob, but I don’t have the strength to push him away. I’m not sure I want to, because he’s the inly one who can stop me from hurting. But he says he can’t.

“I want to hold you.” He murmurs, turning me around so I’m facing him. He cradles me against his chest, and I bury my face in his neck, crying myself to sleep while he keeps repeating he’s sorry. He’s both the pain and the cure.

-

I wake, wrapped around warmth and safety. My head is pounding, and my eyes feel heavy. Slowly, I drag them open, finding myself sprawled over Mark, my arm and leg over his body. Last night’s memories come back to me instantly, and the ache in my chest starts again. “Hi.” Mark murmurs, pulling my eyes up to his.

“Morning.” I reply, rolling onto my back stretching.

“Are your okay?” He asks, kissing my temple.

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumble, putting a hand on his chest but not pushing him away. Mad being an understatement.

“Alright.” He sighs, pulling away from me. “I’ll go make breakfast.” He declares, and with that he’s out of bed and into the bathroom.

I linger under the covers for a moment, still tired from last night. Olivia comes to my mind, and I shake my head vigorously, not wanting to start my Sunday with her. I don’t want to think about her. After ten minutes, I find the strength and get out of bed, tidying it before brushing my teeth. After washing my face et redoing my ponytail, I adventure myself in the living area. There are two glasses, a bottle of apple juice and two plates in the breakfast bar, and the kitchen smells like sweet pancakes. Mark is busy over the stove.

I perch myself on one of the stools, and Mark drops a plate of pancakes in front of me.

“Pancakes.” He declares.

“Thank you.”

He takes place in front of me, and we eat a heavy, yet telltale silence. I focus on my breakfast, deliberately shutting him out, not wanting to deal with anything for now. I feel like we stay like this for an eternity.

“Talk to me.” Mark sighs, dropping his fork and knife. I look up at him impassively.

“I know you’re mad at me. Let it out, yell at me. Just talk to me. I hate not knowing what you’re thinking.” He murmurs.

“How would you feel if I you found out I support Liam financially?” I ask him, wanting him to understand why I’m quiet, and wanting him to get a taste of his own medicine.

His eyes widen a little, and then his features harden, his jaw clenching. He says nothing.

“Exactly. I’m speechless.” I say.

“How long are you going to give the silent treatment?” He sighs again. Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ever going to push through this.

“I don’t know how to deal with this.” I say in a way of explanation.

“That puts us in an impasse.” He remarks.

You put us in an impasse.” I retort.

“It doesn’t change anything between you and me.” He murmurs. “I’m still the same, I’m madly in love with you. I’m not having an affair with her.” He says.

“She was acting very cocky.”

“It’s her character.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She wasn’t supposed to be there. I moved her to Seattle and she wasn’t supposed to come to LA.” He says.

“You moved her?”

“Distance.” He reminds me. An apple phone rings, and since mine is in our bedroom, I know it’s his. He pulls it out of his shorts and looks at the ID.

“Excuse me.” He says before leaving the room. I sigh, feeling drained. I’m not hungry anymore.

Picking up my plate, I walk to the bean and throw the last half of my pancake away before putting my plate in the sink. I walk past his office as I head back to the bedroom to take a shower.

I stop in front of his office.

Why did he go to his office to take this call. He never does that. He always answers his calls in front of me, because he doesn’t want to leave me, and I always have the one to walk away. It’s her.

I press my ear against the door to listen to his conversation.

“I’m not joking, Olivia. You come close to her again, and I’m done with you.” His voice resonates. It’s her! He stays quiet for a moment.

“No.” He sighs. Silence.

“Liv.” He says, his tone softer that before. So she’s Liv now? Where is the ‘you’re the one whom I want to use the nickname’ bullshit?

“Livy, listen to me.” He pleads. More silence.

“I do, I do.” He says reassuringly. He started of firm and confident, and know he’s cooing.

“Just don’t come near her again, okay?” He says. Silence.

“How much?” He asks. I gasp. She wants money. Money to stay away from me? No. Not possibly.

“Alright, you have it.” He says. “Bye.”

I quickly jump away from the door, rushing back to the breakfast bar. I sit back on my stool and wait for him.

Seeing how she destabilizes his authoritative self, I under this goes way deeper than I thought. He’s acting as if he’s under her control. But then she’s not blackmailing him. What the hell is it?

I need answers. Psychological answers.

Mark comes out moments later, sitting across me.

“Does Dr Davis know about this?” I ask him. A positive answer would have made me mad, because it would have meant he had no intention of telling me, but now I need to know Davis knows what’s going on.

“Yes.” He confesses.

“What does he say?”

“He understands.” He says confidently.

“He understands.” I snort.

“You don’t believe me?” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Should I?” I challenge. Seeing how he plays with my trust. And I know how he would love Davis to be on his side

“Yes.” He snaps.

“Well, I don’t.”

“You’ll have to, because he’s under medical secret and won’t tell you about it.”

“When is your next appointment?”

“Not until two weeks.” He says. Two weeks? When he’s supposed to see him once a week?

“Why?”

“Because we are leaving for a week.” He says slowly. We’re leaving? What? Oh! He’s talking about our fuck week. That is definitely off the program.

“I thought it was self-obvious that I don’t want to leave with you anymore. Don’t even ask why.” “We’ll work things out.” “No. We work things out before. I’m not leaving, end of.” I snap, and he opens his mouth to retort something.

“Don’t even try to argue with me.” I grind out, raising a threatening index finger at him. He closes his mouth and sighs, leaning back.

“So what now? What do we do?” He asks, throwing his hands in the air in emphasis.

“You go to work, and I’ll find something to make myself busy.” I reply. How funny is this? Me sending him to work when I was desperate to keep him naked in bed? It’s okay, because now I don’t want to have him 24/7 with me.

Plus, I had forgotten I have an appointment with Dr Miller for my birth control shot. I had to push it back a week later because of my exams and she scolded me because I always reschedule, and it’s important to take my shot every twelve weeks. She made me promise not to have sex before our appointment, and when I said yes, I didn’t think I’d feel so horny after reconnecting with Mark.

Two weeks late the maximum I should be, and I have 70% chances to get pregnant during that period. I initially had planned to fuck all week, I would have been doomed for sure.

Mark’s lips form a grim line, and I know he’s not pleased with me sending him to work, but he wisely says nothing.

“Why do you want me to go see Davis anyway? What does he have to do with this?” He asks.

“I want to go see him with you.” I explain.

“So you can hear what he thinks of it?”

“Exactly.”

His eyes harden and his jaw clenches, sign of his building anger.

“And so you can build your own diagnostic?” He spits. I know he’s sensitive about how I handle his problems, we’ve had enough fights about it. But he’s not in the right position to get mad at me. When I glare at him, he glares right back at me.

“I’m not your fucking patient.” He mutters, and I lose it. Not even trying to stop the angry tears that are springing to my eyes, I lean on my elbows and look straight in his blazing eyes.

“What you did, what you’re still doing, affects me, badly.” I say quietly, keeping my tone even despite the lump in my throat. My tears flow, but I don’t care.

“You want me to live with it, well I’m trying to understand.” I explain, and see the fire of anger in his eyes turn into guilt and sadness.

“I want to understand why you need this so much that you expect me to live with with that pain.” I add, my voice cracking at the end of my sentence, betraying the turmoil of emotion inside me. Leaning forward again, he takes my tear-stained face in his hands.

“I’m sorry I’m hurting you.” He murmurs sincerely, his eyes reflecting pain. “You have to understand it was never my intention.” He says, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

“But you knew it would hurt me.” I retort as he rises and circles the breakfast bar to stand in front of me.

“Yes.” He confesses, grabbing my face again. So he knew he would hurt me, he knows he’s hurting me, but he can’t stop.

“Then why?” I ask, more tears falling out of my eyes.

“Do you need her that much?”

“No!” He shakes his head vigorously. “No, I don’t need her at all. I need you, you know I only need you.” He murmurs.

“Then what is it?”

“I…” He starts, and for one second I think he’s going to explain, give me answers, erase my pain. His eyes search actively into mine, and then he says.

“I’m sorry.”

I love you, Park Jimin.

Can i request a angsty jimin scenario where you break up with each other but with a happy ending pls? 🌸 thx 

:-)))) break ups are sad especially when your parents are the reason why 

Originally posted by sugaglos

Word count: longest one yet!!! oh my goshhh!!!!!! 1.8k :^) im proud of myself

Warning: Angst (again) (but then again its not sad like) 

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Summary: You would do anything for them, but you didn’t expect them to ask this of you. 


Nothing is fair. 


Soft sobs came from your room, and you knew. You wanted to rush in there, hold his head against your chest and hum to him, just like you always did when he was upset. 

You wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, that you would always be there for him, that you would hold his hand every step of the way. You wanted to shout at the people who made him feel this way, because he doesn’t deserve it. 

Inside, he’s a child, and that child is afraid of being abandoned by the one he loves most. He’s a child who worries that he wouldn’t be good enough, that someday, people would hate him because he wasn’t good enough anymore. 

Your heart was breaking with every sob that came from your room, god, you hated yourself so much for this. You wanted to just go against everything your mother said, prove to her that Jimin was different, but you can’t. 

Not when she had already made plans behind your back. 


Who said falling out of love was easy? 

Falling out of love with Park Jimin was something you couldn’t do, it was tearing you apart. 

Jimin often asked why you seemed so distant now-a-days, but you shook it off and said that you were just having some trouble. And, well, it was true. Trouble, with your parents. 

They continued to push you about Jimin and your future husband, but you always told them the same thing. Not right now. 

If you were going to break up with Park Jimin, then you were going to break yourself before it. 

The nights were cold now, you had to avoid his touch. You had to avoid his grabby hands, pulling on your arms softly to bring you closer to him so that he could take in the smell of, well, you. He loved feeling you against his chest, he knew you were there that way. Sometimes he would think that your relationship was a part of his dream because you were too good to be real, but when he opens his eyes from his slumber and lays them on you, his heart warms and his arms tighten around you. 

But now, he only wonders why you keep moving away and if he did something wrong. He wonders if it was his fault, because he’s always off to practice, and he wonders if he should ask you about it because he’s breaking down. 

And the moment he needs you the most, you’re not there. 


I’m sorry. 


When Jimin returns home that night, his eyes are puffy and you can hear him sniffling. It was time. 

You shuffled on the couch and patted the spot next to you, and Jimin’s eyes widened slowly, making his way to the couch. He sat beside you and you held his hand, a small smile on your lips. “Jimin ah, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t.” He whispers, and your eyes close. “Don’t do it, (Y/n), please don’t.”

“You know I have to, it’s not right.” 

“I can make it right! Just tell me what’s wrong and- and I’ll fix it! I’ll come home earlier! I’ll stop looking at twitter, anything! Please, tell me what’s wrong!” 

“Stop it, you knew it was going to happen one day or another!” 

“(Y/n) please, I need you the most right now! I can’t do it without you!” 

You went silent and lowered your head. “You’re going to have to do it anyways.” 

You looked up and saw that tears were starting to form in his eyes, and his mouth was slightly open in disbelief. “Park Jimin, I’m sorry, but I’m breaking up with you.” 


Living without Jimin was strange. There was no one to sing to you when you were nervous, no one to hold your hand when you went out in public so that you wouldn’t get lost, and no one to encourage you when you were at your breaking point. It’s been a few weeks since you broke up, and it’s been a few days when you decided you would leave your house with Jimin and move in with your parents once again, leaving him to do whatever he wanted with the house. 

You told him he could sell it, but his eyes were unfocused and it looked like he was thinking of something else. 

“I’m glad you did it, honey.” Your mother said, breaking your thoughts. Jungkook sat at the table next to you, his parents accompanying him and your family for dinner. “Now, shall we continue?” 

“I was thinking about having the wedding somewhere close by, for friends and distant families.” Jungkook’s mother suggested, and your father nodded. 

“That’s understandable. Nothing too fancy, these kids probably won’t like it.” 

“You’re right, dear. (Y/n)? Jungkook? What kind of wedding would you like?” Your mother asked, gripping your hands. 

“The kind of wedding where I don’t have one at all.” You grumble, moving your hand away from her. “I don’t want to get married, Jungkook doesn’t want to get married, why do I have to be dragged into all of your family affairs?” 

“If you didn’t notice, you’re a part of this family also.” Your mother spoke. “Since you are our only daughter, you’ll also be affected if something happens to us. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what’s best for you.” 

You wanted to run back home.


The only time you actually saw Jungkook or Jimin was when your parents forced you to visit your fiance at practice. Even then, you wouldn’t make any eye contact with any of the boys because they blamed you. 

You blamed yourself too. 

Once they saw the ring on your finger, they asked who you were getting engaged to, but no one asked why. You looked away, because you just couldn’t say that you were being forced to marry the man you love’s friend, Jeon Jungkook. 

Sometimes they asked why you came to the practice room, and sometimes they would pass you glares when Jimin wasn’t around. But you didn’t mind, you deserve it. 

You deserved all of it. 


Jungkook grabbed your arm before you could leave the dorm, pulling you back and pushing you towards the boys once more. 

“We need answers, (Y/n), why do you keep coming back? Even when you know you’re hurting Jimin? Do you want him to suffer?” 

“Hyung, don’t be like that.” Jungkook said, and Jin looked at him. 

“Are you defending her, Jungkookie? Is there something we should know about you two?”

“We’re getting married.” You said, and everyone’s eyes landed on you. You looked at your hands and played with your fingers. “I said it, are you happy? Jungkook and I are getting married, and it’s my fault.” 

“Noona, don’t-” 

“It’s because I’m a horrible daughter. I owe them so much that I can’t even say no. I can’t even fight to stay beside my own boyfriend.” Tears were spilling from your cheeks and a sob left your mouth, “I can’t even tell them that I don’t want a wedding.” 

To say that the boys were dumbfounded was an understatement. They were angry, confused, hurt, shocked. Being forced into a marriage? That wasn’t right. 

“When I was in high school, I wasn’t the good girl everyone thought I was, I stole, I did drugs, I had to sneak out to party, and my parents buried all of that for me when I turned 18. I begged for them to help me so that I could be with Jimin, I didn’t want to drag him into all of the things I was doing.” 

“(Y/n), why are you telling us this now?” 

“I didn’t want to do it, but I just can’t say no. I can’t, not when they did so much for me.” 

“You hid your past just so you could be with Jimin?” You nodded and looked away, wiping the tears from your cheeks. 

“I should go, I won’t come back anymore.” 

“Noona, wait-” Jungkook said, reaching out for your arm, but you looked up to him and shook your head. He lowered his hand and watched as you left. He looked over to his hyungs who looked away in shame, because they blamed someone who did everything she could just to be with their friend. 

“It’s not fair.” Namjoon said, and everyone nodded in agreement. 


It was the day of the wedding, which came a lot faster than you had hoped. You were sitting on a chair, waiting for your father to come and walk you to Jungkook, who would be patiently waiting for you. You sighed, glancing down at the bouquet of flowers that laid on your lap. For some reason, you hoped that Jimin would come and steal you away, but it wasn’t possible. He made it clear that he didn’t want to speak to you last time you had seen him. There was a soft knock on the door and you softly said, “Come in.” 

“Jagi?” 

No. 

“I’m here now.” 

You slowly turned around and stared into the eyes of the male in front of you, a smile planted on his face. “What’re you-” 

“Yoongi hyung told me what happened, I’m sorry. Because of me-”

“It’s not you, Jimin.” You interrupted, “It was my fault for doing it in the first place.” 

He slowly walked up to you, each step making your heart pound as he held out his hand. “Why don’t we get out of here, Jungkookie will understand.”

A smile passed your lips and you nodded, taking hold of his hand. He pulled you up and held you in his arms, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Don’t hide anything from me for now on, okay? One of the boys will just tell me anyways.” 

You pulled away from him and placed a hand on his cheek, a soft giggle coming from you. “I won’t. Not anymore.” 


“The bride is gone!” A bridesmaid screamed. Everyone ran towards the room where you were in, Jungkook was the one who slammed the door open, scanning the room to see that you were indeed gone. Yoongi chuckled and elbowed Jungkook, and your father pushed everyone away to get into the front with your mother. They stood beside Jungkook and their mouths dropped in shock. 

“Looks like the loverboy got his girlfriend back.” Yoongi said, and your parents looked over to him. 

“Jimin hyung sure is a lucky guy.” Jungkook said, and your mother let out a cry of disbelief. 

GRAYLU WEEK 2015: What If (Day 7)

What if Gray as Jack Frost’s character and Lucy as Rapunzel’s character suddenly met?

“So this is the Kingdom of Corona… not bad” said Gray as he flew above the castle and landed down to one its roofs to have a greater view of the place. “Hmm so what to do first?” thinking of something to do, Gray suddenly heard the royal guards talking loudly to each other “I wonder why everyone’s so busy nowadays” said the first one to the other “Duh?! Because The Festival of Lights is coming in a week you dumbhead!” the second answered, hitting the head of his companion. Hearing the Festival of Lights caught Gray’s interest. “Festival of Lights? Sounds fun!” as he jumped down and rushed in front of the guards.

“Hey hey! What’s the Festival of Lights all about?” the ice boy asking one of the guards face to face. However there was no reply. “C’mon! I wanna know more about the festival!” Gray moved his face a little closer and continued to stare at the guard’s face as he waited for an answer. The guard started to slowly open his mouth, making Gray’s eyes sparkle with hope that he would respond to his question. Much to his dismay, the guard did not answer and just yawned straight to his face. “What the hell!? Didn’t you brush your teeth this morning!?” Gray covered his nose as he backed away. “Ugh, never mind. I got a bit excited and forgot that people can’t see me ever since the beginning”

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Nesting

So this fic is a prize for @the-little-soul. She won first place in my ton of minions giveaway a zillion years ago which granted her a 3000 word fic of her choice, and I’ve finally managed to write this. Her request was for pregnant Maka.

I make no promises that this is any good, but hopefully she enjoys it nonetheless.


He might have known, from the moment the doctor made her ominous pronouncement, that the whole thing would end in disaster. Maka Evans Albarn? On bedrest? No way that ended well. No fucking way.

Maka had taken the pronouncement of her unusually high blood pressure calmly, had accepted the bedrest proclamation in near silence before they left together, hand in hand. When he opened the passenger door to their new sedan for her, the action earned him a scowl. “I’m pregnant, Soul, not dying.”

An eyeroll was his primary response. “You’re also on bedrest. Bedrest. Which means I’m supposed to, oh I don’t know, help you?”

“Whatever.” Her scowl deepened, and not wanting to poke the tiger further, he simply walked to the driver’s side and started the car. Soul wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the driver’s side being on the right, but he was adapting. For the most part, it hadn’t mattered. They’d taken the bike with them to Brisbane when they took the post as Deathscythe and Deathmeister in Residence in Oceania six years ago, so while he’d had to deal with driving on the wrong damned side of the road since then, being on the wrong side of a car wasn’t something he had to worry about up until they’d purchased a new sedan eight months ago. Now, though, with a pregnant Maka, it mattered.

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“She will love you more than I could, she who dares to stand where I stood”

AN: I am so sorry for not posting anything lately, I am just extremely busy. I promise tho that I will update The Riley Diaries by the end of the week! This fic is a part two to my first prompt from the Rucas Fanfic Week - I just heard the song used in this and knew I had to use it, it was the perfect continuation to the story. You can read the first part here, I think the story will make sense if you know what happens in it. I really hope you like this one and thank you all so much for writing to ask about TRD, means the world to me that you like what I do.
Enjoy
xo

tw: mentions of death

Part 1

________________________________________________________

It’s been 15 weeks since Riley last saw Lucas. They talked on the phone but Riley was busy at the studio and Lucas and Amber moved to Texas after the wedding, so he had a lot more work than usual. Riley and her husband were in bed but she couldn’t sleep, she was tossing and turning for no reason at all. Something made her heart hurt at that very moment, and that was the thought of Lucas. It used to happen every once in a while, a thought or a memory would come up in her mind and her heart would tighten. Riley sighed looking at her husband and reached for her phone. She opened her Instagram app and started scrolling down until the pain in her chest got stronger. There was a picture of Lucas and Amber carving their initials on a very familiar tree. Riley closed her eyes for a second and remembered their last trip to Texas. It was the summer after their graduation, the last carefree summer they shared together. It was the summer Lucas carved their initials in the oldest tree in Texas, promising to grow old with her. Riley sighed and carefully snuck out of the bed. She put on some sweats and grabbed her car keys. Riley would always find comfort in her music and right now, she needed to run and hide in her own thoughts. Once she was in the studio, she picked up a pen and started writing some lyrics in her song book. It was 3:07 AM, Riley’s face was make-up free and her hair was down, the chocolate brown locks falling freely on her shoulders. She pressed play on the little camera they used for the acoustic versions of her songs and her voice flooded the little musty room.

“I don’t know what I’ve done
or if I like what I’ve begun
.
But something told me to run
and honey you know me, it’s all or none
.

There were sounds in my head,
lIttle voices whispering
that I should go and this should end
.
Oh, and I found myself listening
.

‘Cause I dont know who I am, who I am without you
,
all I know is that I should
.
And I don’t know if I could stand another hand upon you
,
all I know is that I should
.
‘Cause she will love you more than I could,
she who dares to stand where I stood
.

And I won’t be far from where you are if ever you should call
.
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
.
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you,
this is what I have to do
.

‘Cause I dont know who I am, who I am without you
,
all I know is that I should
.
And I don’t know if I could stand another hand upon you
,
all I know is that I should
.
‘Cause she will love you more than I could,
she who dares to stand where I stood
.“

Two tears rolled down Riley’s cheeks and she closed her eyes for a few moments before wiping them and turning the camera off. She then came back home and continued with her life as if she had never seen that picture.

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Lost and Found

Prompt: Can you make part of ‘Stray’ and it takes place 4 years later, Her and Cas for married and she’s pregnant (About 6 months) and demons capture her because the child is really powerful and they keep her captive for the rest of the pregnancy so they can take the baby and use her for evil and after 3 months of searching Cas finally finds her and the (Born) baby and yeah he saves her and the baby and everything turns out alright (bonus points for lots of angst)

Word count: 3,206

Warnings: Non-graphic mentions of torture.

Author’s Note:  This is a sequel to Stray, which you can read here.

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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Young Remus)

Anon:  could you do another fluffy young remus one. maybe involving polyjuice potion to figure out if he likes you back

* * *

As you sat on the sofa in the empty common room of the Gryffindor Tower you felt yourself looking at Remus. He wasn’t even the one talking but it was as if there was some gravitational pull to make you always look towards him. Why did he always look so damn cute? His over-sized sweater and fluffy hair and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled- ‘Y/N?’ You looked over at Lily who was giving you an odd look. ‘Uh-what?’ You said, quickly. ‘What are you staring at?’ She asked. You went red and shook your head, ‘I was just looking out the window.’ You lied. She licked her lips, her eyes narrow, ‘Can I talk to you for a moment?’ She asked. You nodded and she stood up, taking you to a corner of the common room away from the boys. ‘Remus?’ She asked bluntly. 
‘What?’ You said. She rolled her eyes, 
‘Y/N I know! It’s rather obvious.’ She said. You sighed, 
‘Really? I thought I was keeping it on the down low.’ She smiled, 
‘I’m your best friend, y/n. I know these things. So when are you going to tell him?’ She asked. You laughed, 
‘Um probably never.’
‘Y/N.’ She whined, ‘We have been through this before. You like a cute boy and then nothing ever happens between you both because you never do anything about it. Boys are dumb, they don’t get the little hints like girls do. When Remus catches you staring at him, he doesn’t think “oh she likes me!” he thinks “Crap, I must have a leaf in my hair”. This is why,’ she said, taking your hand, ‘You need to make the first move.’ She finished. 
‘No no.’ You said, ‘I can’t do that. Because this isn’t just some “cute boy” this is Remus, we are talking about. Remus!’ You said.
‘So?’ Lily asked. 
‘So,’ You said, ‘If I tell him I like him and he doesn’t like me back, that is our friendship ruined! Four years of friendship gone out the window all because I can’t keep my feeling under control.’ You said. Lily smirked, 
‘Yes but, if he likes you back then that is the beginning of a never ending relationship! He,’ She said pointing to him, ‘Could be your future husband.’ She said. You shook your head, ‘No, Lily. I can’t just tell him I like him. You wouldn’t understand how this feels. I mean you knew James liked you!’
‘Everyone in Hogwarts knew James liked me.’ She said, laughing.
‘Exactly!’ You replied, ‘There were no uncertainties, so when you did end up liking him back, you had nothing to worry about.’ You said. 
‘I guess you’re right. But we have to do something! I really think you two would be perfect together.’ She said. You grinned, 
‘I totally agree. But what can we do?’ You asked. Lily thought for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip when he eyes lit up, ‘I’ve got it.’ She said. She had a certain spark behind her eyes which usually meant she was up to mischief. ‘What?’ You asked, cautiously. 
‘Polyjuice.’ She said. You laughed, 
‘Are you kidding me?’ You said. You grinned, wide eyed, 
‘It would be perfect! I’ll take some of James’ hair so you can turn into him and then I will secretly take him somewhere else, maybe the library and then you can ask Remus as James if he likes you.’ She said. You stared at her with disbelief. ‘You can’t be serious.’ Was all your could say. 
‘Come on y/n! Do something daring for once!’ She said. 
‘Does polyjuice take like a month to brew?’ You asked. She nodded, 
‘Yes but, I am a great potions master.’ She said.
‘What has that got to do with it?’ You asked. Lily shrugged, 
‘I just like to point it out.’ 

*ONE MONTH LATER*

You saw Lily walking to you, a small msirk on her face. When she came up to you, she grabbed your arm and pulled you inside an empty classroom, away from all the students heading to dinner. ‘It’s ready.’ Was all she said. Your hearts stopped, ‘Really?’ You asked. She nodded, grinning. ‘So tonight we will do it, yeah?’ She asked. 
‘And no one knows about this right?’ You said. 
‘Nope. Just me and you.’ She replied. 
‘Do you have James’ hair?’
‘Yes. I got some off his robes this morning.’
‘So what exactly is the plan?’ You asked, leaning against a desk.
‘Well tonight, I will take James, Sirius and Peter to the library, I promised I would help them with their Potions essay and Remus has already done it. So we will all go to the library, you turn into James and then you can ask Remus and voilà!’ She finished. You swallowed hard, already feeling quite nervous. ‘Right,’ You said, ‘Lets do this.’ 

That night you sat on your bed. Lily had given you some of James’ clothes to get dressed in. In your hand was a cup of the polyjuice potion. It smelt bad and looked terrible. You didn’t really fancy drinking it but it was too late now. You looked at your watch, waiting for it to turn to 9:00. That was the time you and Lily had arranged. You had to be out by 9:15 otherwise you would turn back into yourself and ruin the whole plan. Finally, your watch turned to 9:00. ‘Here goes nothing.’ You said, downing the whole glass. It was safe to say that it tasted just as bad as it smelt and looked. You coughed, wiping your mouth. Immediately you started to change. You hands and feet got bigger, your legs longer and your hair turned scruffy and black. You put on James’ spare pair of glasses and pulled on his clothes. You looked in the mirror and gasped, ‘Wow.’ You said. Even talking surprised you as you sounded just like James. You looked at your watch. 9:02. Taking a deep breath, you walked out of your room, unseen and slipped into the boys dorm. Remus was sitting on his bed, a book in his hands. You realised you were sanding to straight and slouched a bit, like James. ‘You’re back already?’ Remus asked. Crap, I didn’t think of an excuse, You thought, frantically thinking of one. ‘Uh yeah, I forgot my book.’ You said quickly. You knelt down by James’ bed and looked in his backpack and grabbed a random book. ‘Can I ask you something?’ You asked Remus. Remus put his book down, ‘Yeah.’ He said. You ran your hands through your hair - something you often saw James’ do. You sat on the edge of his bed, ‘Who do you like?’ You asked. It was a bit blunt but you felt like boys generally just got to the point. Remus furrowed his eyebrows, ‘What?’ He said. You swallowed nervously, ‘You know, who do you fancy?’ You said. Remus scoffed, ‘I dunno, mate.’ Was all he said. You swore silently but decided to keep pressing. ‘Come on, man.’ You said, ‘You must like someone.’ You said. Remus blushed a little bit and shrugged, ‘What’s it to you, anyway?’ He said. You shrugged, ‘Maybe I could help.’ You said. Remus laughed, 
‘The last time you tried to “help” she never talked to me again.’ He said. 
‘That was ages ago.’ You said, remembering that very clearly. Remus sat up, his legs dangling off the bed, ‘Do you really want to know.’ He said. You nodded, ‘Of course!’ Remus swallowed and bit his lip. He opened his mouth and then shut it again before blurting out your name. Your heart stopped. Wow. But, still being James you had to keep yourself together you nodded, ‘I had a feeling. You should make a move.’ You said to him. Remus laughed, 
‘No way! She doesn’t like me.’ You looked down at your watch and was horrified to see that it was already 9:12. You suddenly stood up, ‘Where are you going so quickly?’ Remus asked. You turned to him and smiled, ‘Lily’s waiting, I forgot. But I heard from a little birdie that y/n fancies you too. So, I would get a move on before she changes her mind!’ You said before slipping out of the room. 

You dashed back to the girls dorm and pulled the curtains on your bed in case anyone came in. Your heart was beating so fast you thought you were actually going to die. As you started to change back to yourself you rubbed your eyes, ‘Holy shit.’ You whispered. Once you were you again you got dressed into your clothes. That’s when you got the idea. Remus liked you. He actually liked you. And he was alone in the dorm right now. You picked up James’ glasses, they would be your excuse and then walked to his dorm. You knocked softly on the door. ‘Come in.’ You heard Remus say. You walked in and smiled at him, ‘James left these in our dorm.’ You said, placing them on his bed. Remus frowned, ‘But he was wearing his glasses.’ He said. You nodded,
‘He’s wearing his spare ones because he couldn’t find these ones.’ You lied. Remus smiled, ‘Oh right.’ He said. As you went to leave he stopped you (Thank God). ‘Wait, can I talk to you for a sec?’ He said. You turned around, pretending to act innocent. ‘What’s up?’ You asked. Remus stood up and walked over to you, ‘Um well. I was just wondering-you don’t have to-but-if you wanted to-It would be cool if you-I mean we-’ He was stumbling all over his words but you knew exactly what he was getting at. Remembering what Lily said, “Come on y/n do something daring for once!” You stepped forward and kissed him. He put his arms around your waist, pulling you in as he kissed you back. An explosion of serenity and peace surrounded you in that moment and you couldn’t help but smile. Lily was right, yes again, this was the start to a never ending relationship.

my HVFF experience

Guys… how do I even sum this up?  This was amazing. I knew it’d be amazing but it was just… AMAZING. This is going to be long, so I apologize, but I’ll try to keep it as concise as I can and stick to the pertinent stuff.  

We drove down from Reno on Friday, arrived in the afternoon. I had a few hours to unwind from the drive before picking up @lunarsilverwolfstar at the airport. After picking up our badges at the convention center (we won’t speak of the cost of parking for 10 minutes), we killed some time (at Denny’s and Target/the mall… so classy!) before going to pick up @dettiot and dropping the two of them off at their hotel. Then, back to my parents house to sleep and try to prepare for the insanity. 

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DETERMINED DESTINY [CHAPTER 5] PART TWO

CHAPTER 5 {PART 2} // THE MOTIONLESS

NICKI’S POV

I sat uncomfortably on Shawn’s lap as they laughed and joked around, but that same guy wouldn’t stop staring. I got more and more nervous.
“Shawn, can we leave now?” I whispered. 
He just pinched my thigh. I winced at the pain and kept my mouth shut, as told. I cleared my throat and everyone stared at me.
“Can I use the- uhm, washroom?” I said lowly. 
They all started to laugh. I looked at them confused.
Nobody gives a fuck, barbie!” A girl yelled.
I grabbed my bag and got up to leave but Shawn pulled me back.
“Aye, no funny business.” I looked at him and nodded. His grip got tighter.
I MEAN IT.” He cleared his throat. 
I looked at him with fear still in my eyes. I nodded and he let go. I walked down this never ending hallway, trying to find the washroom. When I finally found it, I walked in and locked the door behind me.
“What the fuck…?” I whispered as I looked around. It was a pigsty. Honestly filthy. Like how the fuck can you miss the fucking toilet? I didn’t even need to use the washroom. All I needed to do was get my phone and text Aubrey. I know I was rude to him, but I needed him the most right now.
“Aubrey, Please! I don’t know where I am, I’m scared, and need help! Shawn took me to some place, And all these sketchy people. Please just find me!” I texted. 
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
Hurry the fuck up, Barbie!” I heard the girl scream. I flushed the toilet to make it like I was going to the washroom. I washed my hands, and opened the door.
“Damn bitch. You feeding a village in here?” 
She pushed me out of the way and slammed the door in my face. I turned and saw the same guy that was staring at me before.
“We meet again.” He grabbed my waist.

SHAWN’S POV

Get your fucking hands off of her!” I yelled at this nigga trying to take my girl.
“I was just helping her find her way back. Chill lil nigga.”
“Look here you piece of shit. She’s mine, my property, next time you touch her I will fuck you up.”
“You got ya ass beat twice by that Jewish boy.”
I heard Nicki try to stifle a laugh. This bitch gon get it.
I grabbed Onika’s arm and pulled her down the hall with me.
“Will you slow down and let go of my arm?” She yelled.
“Shut up! I ain’t done with yo ass yet.”
“What the hell did I do but use the restroom?”
I opened and unlocked door and shoved her inside. She needs to get one thing straight. She is mine and she better start saying so. I’m tired of having to hurt niggas and come and get her ass. I ain’t on that light skin bullshit. I shut the door and pushed her against the wall. 
“Look bitch, you are mine and mine only. Speak the fuck up with some random nigga try to be all on you. I tired of saving ya fat ass. You want that knight and shining amour shit, check that yellow nigga Aubrey, oh that’s right you can’t. I guess the dreamhouse came crashing down on you huh Barbie?”
She just stared at me with this blank expression. I hate when she does that shit so I slapped her.
“Quit lookin’ at me like that.”
She held her cheek, fighting her tears, weak ass bitch and I thought she was a bad bitch.
“Quit fucking hitting me!” She screamed in my face. 
I was about to say something but she punched me in the stomach, then gave me a uppercut, and ended everything by kicking the shit out of my balls.
“I’m surprised you could feel that since you have no balls. Fucking pussy.” Nicki told me.
I would’ve grabbed her ass, but she whooped my ass. Yellow nigga been teachin’ her how to fight. I got something for both they asses.

DRAKE’S POV

I got suspended and now I’m grounded. I’m locked in this hellhole I call a home. I just want Nika here. I want shit back to the way it was. I want us to lay on my bed and talk about everything or nothing at all. I need to talk to her, but I gotta find a way around my parents and Ami. I wonder if Nika got home okay. I didn’t see her on the path or at school after I was finally released from the office. That asshole Camry better not have done anything bad to her, I will beat the shit outta him. 
 I decided to do some work since I ain’t got shit else to do. I pulled my books out of my backpack and flipped to the current page. I couldn’t concentrate. My thoughts were clouded by Nika. I had a horrible feeling she was in trouble. I reached into my pocket to retrieve my cellphone, but I forgot my mom took it.
DAMMIT!” I yelled in frustration while banging my hands on my desk.
“Aubrey what is with all the commotion up here?” My mom asked. I got nothing to say to her. Her and my dad fucked things up with me and Nika.
Aubrey answer me! It’s rude and disrespectful to ignore me!
“It’s rude and disrespectful of you and dad to do take Nika anyway from me, ignore our pleas, ignore the fact that your son is not happy.”
“Excuse me, who the hell are you talking to like that?”
“I don’t see anyone else here but you,”
Yeah that was the wrong thing say because my cheek stung as she slapped me across the face, but oh well shit had to be said.
I will NOT tolerate this behavior from you. You may be 6’2 but I will still whoop you. Don’t play with me Aubrey.” She exclaimed and walked out.
I’m done with this shit. I went after her to finish talking because I wasn’t done yet. There has been shit I’ve held in for so long, I need to get this off my chest.
“Mom.”
“Go to your room.”
“No! We need to talk.”
“I don’t feel like talking to you right now.”
Fine then listen please. Me and Nika are unhappy. These people that you set us up with are disgusting. They put on this act of being good but they’re not. And don’t you dare say it’s because they are our future spouses because they will never be, maybe on paper but not in my heart. Onika owns that and always will. Me and Nika will not stop talking to one another or seeing one another just because of this arranged marriage bull crap.
“Wait til your father hears about this.”
“Oh stop with the ‘wait til your father hears about this’ I am 17 damn near an adult, that don’t work on me. I need my phone back because I think Nicki is in trouble.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she wasn’t still at school when I got out of the office and she wasn’t on the path, which all means she’s with Camry and he tried to hurt her once, he’ll do it again.
“Maybe she’s with her friends, or at home, or with Shawn, because that’s her husband.”
“He is not! She’s not with her friends because they told me she left already! I just know something is wrong and not right. If you love Onika and me as much as you say you do you will give me my phone just for today!”
She hesitated but she finally gave me my phone. “Just this once Aubrey.” She warned pointing her finger in my face. 
I nodded trying to hide the smile on my face. She went back to concentrate on what she was doing. I turned and walked back to my room. I closed the door behind me and turned on my phone. I suddenly saw a bunch of notifications from “Onika♥”. 
I swiped my screen left and put in my password as fast as I could. I scrolled and saw all her messages. I started to panic, thinking what could be going on with her. 
“Ci!” I yelled as I banged on her door. 
She swung it open and scowled at me. 
“Nigga, do you want to get clapped?” She warned me. 
I laughed but her expression was still the same; pissed. 
“Look Ci, I’m sorry. But I need your help!” She softened and nodded her head signaling me to walk in her room. I looked around at all the pictures plastered on her wall. I listened as frank ocean filled her room. 
“Whoa ci, you seriously changed this room up…” 
She crossed her arms and shrugged. I walked and sat her bed. ” so, did you see onika after school?” I asked. “Yeah, she was with Shawn and his crew.” She came and sat beside me.
“Do you have any idea where she could have gone?” I started to panic. 
She looked at me with widened eyes. “Ciara, shes in trouble. I need to know where she is!” I slightly yelled. 
“I dont know! probably the warehouse!” She yelled. 
The warehouse? 

NICKI’S POV

STOP SHAWN!” I tried to push him off. He didnt budge. 
You wanna be tough?! HUH!?” He yelled in my face. 
I heard the banging on the door. 
HEY CAMRY. CALM DOWN IN THERE.” Someone yelled on the other side of the door. 
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” Shawn yelled. 
He looked back at me and grabbed my cheeks with such a strong force. He turned my head and made me face him. I kept my scowl at him. He stared straight towards my eyes and didn’t say a word. With all my might, I spat on his face. He kept his hand on my face and used the other to wipe the saliva off his face. He then let go and slapped me with full force. I felt my body hit the floor. He bent down and flipped my body around; holding my arms down. he brought his face near my mine and rammed his lips onto mine.
I tried to fight him off. Soon, he stopped kissing me and I spat on him again. I could hear people trying break the door.
GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!
KEEP TRYIN’ ME BITCH SEE IF I DON’T CHOKE THE LIFE OUTTA YOU!
Finally, the door broke and his boy’s got him off of me. I picked myself off the ground and ran out of the room, trying to desperately find the door out of here.
Suddenly, I felt my iPhone vibrate. I immediately took it out of my pocket and unlocked it. Thank Jesus Aubrey texted me back!

» WHERE ARE YOU?!
« IDK!! AUBREY I NEED YOU! IDK HOW TO GET OUTTA HERE.
» FIND SOMEWHERE SAFE LIKE A ROOM AND STAY THERE. IM ALMOST THERE.
« How did you know where I was?
» Ci, I’ll explain later stay put and be quiet.
« Ok Aubbie I love you.
» Love you too always have always will

I locked my phone and let what he said sink in. I was lucky to have him. I basically shut him out and chose Shawn over him. Maybe that was because I thought he chose Ami over me. I was stupid to think that. There’s gotta be something going on with Ami and Shawn, it just makes sense. The whole Ami kissing Drake thing and Shawn and I just happened to be there. Something’s up. But I don’t have time to think about that right now, I just need to follow instructions. I heard the boys coming out the room and I hid in a nearby closet. I covered my mouth and sat in the corner. I felt the tears sink down my cheeks as I heard Camry screaming my name.

Nigga, calm down!“ A girl yelled.

Where the fuck is she!?” He ignored her. I then heard a door bust open.

NICKI!“ I heard Aubrey yell. I removed my hand from my face and opened the closet door. I ran over to Ciara.

"The fuck you doing here.” Camry yelled.

“Taking Onika home.” Ciara yelled.

“Was I talking to you bitch?” Camry looked straight at Ciara, then at me. “Dont make me whoop ya’ ass again.” Aubrey stepped closer to him. I pulled him back.

“Aubbie, let’s just go.” I whispered.

“Naw Onika, you ain’t going nowhere.” Shawn walked over and grabbed me by the arm. I screamed in pain. Aubrey then, punched Shawn; making him loose his grip. Ciara and I took this as our chance to run. We ran into Aubrey’s car. We could hear the yelling and punching all the way from outside. The girls frantically screaming, guys trying to break them up. But then, all the noise stopped.

Oh my god!!!“ We heard a girl shriek. Ci and I looked at each other and ran back inside. My mouth flew open when I saw. 

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Yeah, mhm.

-Ce&DesJ