i said llamas

College Was Interesting...

I don’t know if my experience was unique because I lived in a weird fucking town (Ashland, Oregon) but during the two years I attended college, I…

Got hit in the face with a 1-pound brick of marijuana,

Interrupted a cult meeting at like 2:00AM while wearing a dead coyote on my head,

Maced a black bear,

Faced off with a mountain lion, 

Lived in a cave,

Had a secret admirer (who later turned out to be not-so-secret and actually rather creepy), 

Had one college professor who absolutely hated me and went out of her way to grade my papers unfairly because I knew more about the course curriculum than she did,

Ran into a man and two of his friends walking their pet llama down the road, was asked if I wanted to kiss said llama, and totally did (because why the fuck not?),

Got hit by a drunk driver,

Fell madly in love and deeply regretted it, 

Ate my first roadkill turkey,

Played beer pong at a party with a guy who was later beheaded with a sword in one of Ashland’s strangest unsolved murder cases,

Was somehow adopted into a metaphysical healing arts school, given the name “Sister Coyote”, was revered for my “supernatural” ability to see “auras” (which is actually just a form of synesthesia), and was told I was an “Indigo Child” who’s soul was not from this planet (…..?). 

Accidentally met Chuck Norris when I stopped to tie my shoe next to him on a park bench as he read the morning paper, 

Befriended an old mountain man living deep in the woods with his dog, smoked weed with him, and discussed the philosophies of life while patching up an open wound on my ear, 

Was once followed through a park at night by two people dressed as Slenderman until they stopped in front of me while I swung on the swings, pointed at me wordlessly for thirty seconds, then left,

And started a city-wide “werewolf scare” because I took to wandering around town at night while wearing a wolf pelt on my head. 

Yep. College sure was weird. 

people on my dash are complaining abt d+p’s branding for the tatinof movie and documentary. .. .  and i’m like …. my pals… . . remember ….this is their chance to dump it all and move on. they are leaving it all with a bang. the rebranding is coming. embrace the storm for now while you can.