i rewatched this movie today

A Game for Those Who Seek to Find a Way to Leave Their World Behind

Summary: In which Dan finds a strange board game and ends up playing it (and releasing its horrors) with his best friend Carrie and arch enemy, Phil.

Word Count: 6.9k

TW: uhh there’s just some kind of horrifying things in there so idk good luck

Genre: angst? i guess? but it’s a happy end it’s like good angst

this is a thing now because i rewatched jumanji today and felt inspired (if you haven’t watched the movie it’s literally amazing you can find it online….. completely….. not illegal… ahem)(you can still read this even if you haven’t watched the movie but it’ll be better if you have probably)

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Personally, i love when books are turned into movies or tv shows. Because a lot of the people I know don’t read and opt to watch the movie/series instead, and I can make them believe anything. Like just today I was rewatching the last Hobbit movie and was snapchatting every gay moment between bagginshield and this guy I know messaged and said “stop making everything gay.” So I convinced him that Bilbo is in fact canonically gay and that was why he never married and because he wanted a child he adopted Frodo. It’s fantastic.

i was blessed enough to be able to rewatch the original batb animated movie today with my cousin, and after thinking about it again and again and again and AGAIN, i’ve reached something of a conclusion

everything else is a minor hiccup. if they’d only kept three key things intact in the remake i would not be this angry (warning for spoilers):

  1. belle’s character. the greatest strength the original belle had was that she was gracious, polite, and patient, even in the face of rude boors like gaston, and this strength of character was what ultimately helped her “tame” the beast and bring out the best in him. the new belle was not only haughty and dismissive of just about everyone around her (it might have been something of an upgrade if gaston had been more openly rude to her, but by downplaying gaston and belle’s interaction they made belle look much worse) but her “stubbornness” was almost excruciatingly emphasized to the point of seeming artificial and showed very little development throughout the course of the story which made her look, to me, very immature and unlikable. this might have been in large part due to emma watson not being able to act as any other character than movie!hermione, which i feel doesn’t fit this story at all. somehow, in the year 2017, the movie falls for the trap of making “strong female characters” the usual headstrong, mouthy stereotype of a woman and it makes me roll my eyes

  2. beast’s character. in the original, it was made very clear that although he really did want to be a more polite, kind individual, he didn’t quite know how to do it, hence his numerous losses of temper and faux pas. his beastly nature, so to speak, overpowered the rest of his personality and it took the patience of another person to tame it out of him. he didn’t need a tragic backstory to explain why he became this way; he was a plenty tragic character on his own, and his quest to become a better person wasn’t just a natural result of him falling in love with belle but also an active effort on his part, something that was foreshadowed amply even before they started falling in love. in the remake, though, beast undergoes much less of a development, precisely because he isn’t given much room to develop. he’s your usual broody byronic hero (my friend used the term “emo teenage boy” lmao) who is petulant for the sake of being petulant, is just as reluctant to be close to belle as she is to him at first, and doesn’t show much initiative for a relationship with her, which is why it feels so artificial and out of the blue when he saves her from the wolves

  3. belle and beast’s relationship. this follows naturally from all of the above. i get that they were trying to go for a more “organic” romance where belle and beast are just “naturally compatible, they just don’t know it yet~!” but that’s at the expense of the ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, and just ends up reducing it to another boring straight romcom story instead of one where the importance of changing one another and reaching compromises in relationships is highlighted. i almost feel like the “taming the beast” plot was discarded because belle and beast’s characters were so vastly rewritten that such a plot would seem implausible; belle feels just as immature as beast at times, and beast doesn’t seem to be afflicted with a curse that makes him act more beastly, so much as just a bad personality, but it’s all justified bc “his childhood was shitty, okay?” and what’s the point of a beauty and the beast remake if it’s not….a beauty and the beast story…….

that’s the worst of it, imo. if you read all that, kudos to you. everything else–the dress, the cgi, the designs, even the autotune–is all very minor and forgivable to me in light of the three main things up there, and all the other changes they made to the other characters would also be more palatable if not for them. i actually sort of liked what they did with lefou despite the debacle about his sexuality. i liked what they did with maurice. i liked that they clarified the relationship between beast and his servants a bit more. but all of it falls flat if the main players don’t stand up to scrutiny


favorite movies: the dreamers (2003) dir. bernando bertolucci

I could hear my heart pounding. I don’t know if it was because I’d just been chased by the police or because I was already in love with my new friends.