i remember when i was watching this

8

i stress through the days with 100 thoughts in my head and everything can be totally chaos. but when i start to pray, everything turns silent and clear. because in spite of all this chaos, you remember what really matters. it’s fine because everything has a meaning.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

i know what it’s like to kiss ruin. ruins of what could’ve
been – i can hear the words trapped in the back of your
throat

maybe i never learned how to accept my darkness so all
i did was deny it and make it strong. they never taught us
how to deal with the shadow in our psychology class

do you remember showing me your bruises? and me
clothing you and trying to soothe you? i’m not the one
to abuse you. damn i cried because i know what it’s
like when you have pain trapped inside –

so you cut to release the poison and watched yourself
bleed in relief

i remember you told me there are depths of emotional
hurting that feeling the most excruciating physical pain
in comparison would be a relief


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anyone else appreciates when kyungsoo makes a face or declines to do something or tells someone to stop teasing him or w/e?

i remember when i first started stanning he used to be more quiet and nervous. on interviews he would sit there and take everything they threw at him with a smile and it was hard to “get to know” him. so seeing that he feels more free now to say no or show discomfort sometimes and doesn’t have to pretend to be super happy about everything all the time, just watching him being human is nice.

i remember watching the secret life of bees with my highschool bestfriend and she started sobbing at this one part in the movie. really sobbing, like heavily and loud. i didnt think much of it until we were eating ice cream in my kitchen later that night when everyone was asleep. we talked about school, and parents (at the time i was living with my abusive aunt and uncle).

then she just started sobbing again and i waited for a while until she could speak, and she just started telling me about how awful she had been feeling over the past year. she told me about how she couldn’t even cry at home because her mother was so strict and unemotional. her mother barely spoke to her if it wasn’t about school or sports or chores. she told me about how she hated being so tall (she was easily 5'10"-6ft). she told me about how she hate being so darkskinned, and how the boys she liked all thought of her as a “bro” and how she cried in the school bathroom after asking this guy to homecoming and having him laugh in her face as if she were joking.

she told me all this, and at the end she said she was glad i was her friend because she couldn’t imagine telling anyone else these things. she was so confident and extremely smart and always smiling and always had nice things to say about everyone, even if they hated her. she never hated people. it was so shocking to see her completely unfold like that.

i dont talk to her anymore. not because of any drama or anything. i just kind of isolated myself and cut off everything to do with those 3 years i lived with my aunt and uncle. i wanted to just forget. i hope she’s doing well. im sure she’s out of college by now.

anonymous asked:

Okay but do you remember that scene of Brooke and Lucas kissing in his car in the backseat? Like she's leaning in and his hands are like on her neck and its just such a cute moment to me. What's your fav B&L scene?

I have quite a few actually.

“There are 82 letters in here…”

I still know that entire speech. Like I legit thought it was magical when I watched it as a teen. OTH can go overboard with their speeches, which is why I kind of don’t feel the need to watch it as an adult, I actually find it very trite but the Brucas speeches are always concise and simple and beautiful because it gets to the point without all the hyperbole. And this scene is just a great scene between Chad and Sophia and Lucas and Brooke.

“I’m the guy for you, Brooke Davis”

Because duh. I remember squealing like an idiot when this happened because it was so cool and I totally want a boy to do this for me.

The rain kiss

So my best friend and I used to talk in code about the guys we had a crush on by using character names of the boys we liked on TV and we still sort of do that in a different way because we’re dorks and we always talk about the stare and the first stare we ever spoke about was the “Lucas Stare” because OTH was how she and I became friends and then later on was the “Dean Stare” and the “Stefan Stare” but the Lucas Stare originated from the Rain Kiss

“We’re just friends. Nothing more.”

Because it was so angsty and it was driving me crazy because they just wanted to be together so much but bullshit got in the way but seeing Lucas’ face really let me know he was serious about being with Brooke again and that the thought of not being with her hurt him deeply.

“You know you look amazing, right?”

Because that tension.

“Crazy girl”

I usually hate nicknames but I loved Brucas’ “Crazy Girl” “Pretty Girl” and I liked this scene particularly because it was just adorable.

“Have a nice summer, Brooke.”

OK so I didn’t start watching OTH from season 1, in fact I was resolutely against watching OTH because I was already into The OC but I saw this scene when I was flipping through my channels and I was like OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING, WHY IS SHE CRYING, WHY WON’T SHE SAY SHE WANTS TO BE WITH HIM WHEN SHE SO CLEARLY DOES, WTF?

and then I binge-watched OTH that summer, so it was the introduction to OTH.

anonymous asked:

i can't decide on who's more adorable - Mukuro being so happy hanging out with Jataro or Jataro clinging to Mukuro. btw where's Kotoko-chan? i don't remember seeing her today

….


Found you.


B-Big sis Mukuro?


Sorry, I know you didn’t want to see us disappear…But I wanted to see you again before going…


I’m sorry I wasn’t here a lot when I was alive, I should have protected you all from Junko.


But I saw that you are strong now, you will be okay. I know it.


B-Big sis…You are disappearing…!


Nooo, big sis !! *hugs her*


…..Big sis…


….


Sorry, I have to leave you for now. But I will watch over you forever, so stay strong, as long as you are together I know nothing will be able to hurt you. So don’t fight too much okay? *hugs them all before disappearing*


No…Nooooo….


Waaaah !! Big sis !! Don’t go !!


…Leon ! *runs away*


…..*looks at where Mukuro was*

Kang Daniel

There’s a lot I want to say so this might be a long post lol.

I remember when I used to watch Mix and Match, I stanned Hongseok and he was hated. It got to the point that I couldn’t even search his name up on Twitter because I already knew I was going to be bombarded with hate.

At least then Hongseok was hated by a group of fans (Team B) so it was at least controlled hate.

But when it comes to Daniel, it seems like the hate is coming from all sides and I am angry, sad and pissed off.

When I started the show three or four weeks ago, Daniel was the pink haired kid who was always smiling or seeing the positive in all situations and now he’s trying to still be that kid but it’s so obvious things are getting to him.

The issue started with the amount of screen time Mnet was giving him, labelling him as ‘Mnet’s Son’ then it escalated once the Catstagram issue happened. When that happened, it was the perfect opportunity for his antis and they took advantage of it hugely.

Daniel was the kid that was rising from being unknown to being a threat for number 1 and we all know (even if we won’t say it), that the number 1 spot is pretty much reserved.

Despite getting a penalty for it, his antis refuse to let it go. I naively thought that with him going down to 8th and the popular ones going back to their 'rightful’ place, they would let it go but they absolutely refuse to. From going back to episode 1 to look for issues to cursing his fans, it seems like they won’t stop.

They honestly won’t stop until they break him and that’s why I’m sad and angry because what gives these random people the right to try to do that to someone who hasn’t hurt anyone?

Like I said previously, Hongseok was getting hate from one group while Daniel is getting it from more than that but on the plus side,Daniel has fans, lots of fans who will defend him fiercely.

I just want the show to be over so that I can enjoy my faves in peace.

anonymous asked:

When Amanda brought Mary back, she said it's what he needs (or wants, I can't remember) - is that to do with the "death" of performing!Dean and the confrontation he has with her in 12x22?

Chuck yes! This is everything I harp on about about Amara :)

Originally posted by casclaire


Amara knew what Dean wanted, she understood him, if you watch all the Amara scenes one after another in s11 it is so clear, I love it :) I also count the love monster as narratively it is relevant and in her guise, and what it tells Dean is a continuation of what Amara does for Dean.

If you go on my blog and search #amara and #mary winchester and #performing!dean you should find all my meta about this, and other peoples meta that I’ve reblogged.

Here are the main two:

This one where I explain how season 11 doesn’t make any sense without canon Destiel and how as soon as Amara kisses Dean and becomes a romantic interest she also immediately becomes a Cas mirror, while also every time she interacts with Dean either addresses his feelings for Cas or his self worth:

https://tinkdw.tumblr.com/post/158933038737/amara-and-season-11-just-dont-work-without

This one where I explain how Mary is a narrative extension of Amara, given that their stories are linked by how Mary is brought back, and how I predicted earlier in the season how Mary would affect her boys, which is exactly what happened with Dean / will most likely happen as Sam’s arc is for next season:

https://tinkdw.tumblr.com/post/161031976442/mary-is-the-best-mother-figure-they-could-wish-for

Amara set us up to really understand performing!dean and how repressed he is. They took 10 years of subtext and brought it right up into the forefront for him to reject, in the guise of a busty brunette, no less. Then they took her and made her a massive Cas mirror, made it so that her bond with Dean was so much less powerful than his bond with “Small fry Angel” Cas that she had to go through Cas to speak to him… talked to Dean about his repression, had a whole conversation with Dean about how he is Humanity, that this is what he represents for her, interspersed with a scene with Metatron and Cas, just to remind us that Metatron, mr meta man himself, once told us that Cas is in love with Humanity…

Only for Amara to then bring back Mary, who was herself not only another massive Cas mirror all season, but also forced Dean to look at himself, which is what he has been doing ALL SEASON 12. The whole season was character led through Dean and his coming to understand his self worth, even after 12x03 he was already displaying signs of believing he deserved BETTER from Mary, that he didn’t deserve this…

Then he actively tells Sam that Sublimation “is kinda my thing” in 12x05… which doesn’t really help if you are actively trying to sublimate anymore, it’s a call to attention… and all this leading to months of worrying out loud for Cas, not really caring if Sam can see that you’re being a worried wife and even better a nagging worried “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!” standard narrative wife in 12x19, while also riding Larry fully consciously, showing us his hidden soft, sweet, Disney loving side in 12x11…
All culminating in 12x22… so yeah. Absolutely Amara and Mary are the key to this deconstruction of Performing!dean and it is awesome :)

Random thoughts

So I was just wondering when did all you Tumblr sleuths first have a hint that Cole and Lili might be dating??

I remember watching a young Hollywood interview with Cole and he spoke about meeting an old man with lili and also Lilis reaction to Cole saying she was most likely to get stuck on an Island - it was a typical gf reaction

Just wanted to know about everyone else

gayswampcannibal  asked:

Mixtape : "I just watched a gay Victorian movie from the 80's and it made me cry and now I'm daydreaming about William Blake poetry collections id like to buy one day "

1. and I remember every kiss - jens lekman
2. when love breaks down - prefab sprout
3. refugees - meilyr jones
4. a song for ellie greenwich - parenthetical girls
5. that’s us / wild combination - arthur russell
6. cornerstone - benjamin clementine
7. all waters - perfume genius
8. in conflict - owen pallett
9. corpus cristi carol - jeff buckley
10. I won’t share you - the smiths

ulluoa  asked:

what got you into YOI? For me it was when I watching vine compilations and saw a really well cut Yuuri skate and with Victor kissing him on the ice and immediately turned to google and wrote "gay ice skaters" and never looked back.

“turned to google and wrote ‘gay ice skaters’ and never looked back” omG

I’ve always followed a heck of a lot of multifandom blogs because I love!!!! SO many shows!!!!!! At least 90,000 shows!!!! And I actually had one mutual (I don’t remember who) who used to post about Doctor Who but had switched over to YOI. And you know when you have a mutual who you’ve never spoken to but you like?? feel loyal to them??

So I didn’t unfollow them even though I kept seeing all this figure skating stuff on my dash because I was like, this person seems chill and I’d feel bad. But then I started actually reading the gifsets and posts and the thing is, I’ve never been big into anime so I was pretty skeptical at first but……… look at me now……. ;p

anonymous asked:

I just remembered something from back when I thought I was straight and I watched season 1. I totally went back in the video like 4 times when Carmilla took her shirt off. That's totally something a straight girl does right? Thank god those days are over! Ps I just wanted to tell someone this, so thanks for reading it! 97% of my friends are very straight and don't watch Carmilla, so they wouldn't get it.

I feel you, episode 17 is my most rewatched Carmilla episode just bc that corset + leather pants + heels + her voice + seducing Laura 😳  And I also considered myself “straight” before Carmilla, I was in denial that I liked 2 girls and it was going to be the “last time.”

‘i’ll just watch this movie in english, i’d rather hear the original dialogue and im as fluent as it gets as someone who doesnt live in an english speaking country, it’ll be fine :)’

character: fsflhflfhsh toast and the gdho alfi hgdliogp girl in dghsoghgsp d park gshdon
me: :’)

honestly when i first watched the weblum episode and hunk was like ‘bro wtf is up with you’ and keith was all ‘look it’s bad enough allura hates me’ etc. etc. … i just remember being like “omg” because listen … when has keith — mister i lived alone in the desert chasing conspiracy theories — ever given a single solitary damn about what other people think of him ??? like maybe he always cared inside ??? but the fact that he was openly moping and brooding and actually saying out loud to his teammates that it was bothering him that princess allura didn’t like him is … kinda a big deal for a guy like keith ??? in fanworks people like to make him worried allura would get rid of him or some shit. but in the show keith’s place on the team was never in question, not even by allura. she’d snub him and try to make it clear that ‘yeah maybe we bonded a few times but look i’m not fallin for this again’ but besides that he was still trusted by everyone to do his job. allura gave him some cold looks but she never implied he shouldn’t pilot the lion that chose him. and what’s more, keith in turn never seemed to blame allura for not trusting him. he even went as far to assume she hated him (she didn’t) and still didn’t say she was wrong, just that it … hurt. and after hunk reminded him of all the galra are doing, he seemed to get it. he just still felt bad ??? he just wished she liked him anyway ??? which is so 💔

anonymous asked:

I will forever laugh at the people who defend trump for "dating ivanka" lmao his supporters will defend eveything.

yea!!! they’re brainwashed. i remember watching this video after the whole “grab her by the p*ssy” debacle where someone asked his supporters whether they knew about it/supported it and this one guy was like “yeah ik about it” (i think they even asked him if they thought he respected women and he was like yep lol) and when they asked him if this is something he would say in reference to women himself he was like “ummm well….no, but-” ??? they make the biggest reaches to cover up the disgusting things he does and says like he’s just a “man being a man” which is so America tbh, to invalidate someone’s disgust with him by calling his actions a normalcy…

I know probably no one cares about what I’m going to say here but I just finished re-watching AHS Hotel and I need to make a vent: Sally didn’t deserve getting stuck there at all; The girl just wanted love and she never had anyone to show her how being loved felt like, so she tried to find it in the worst ways possible, ‘cause that what she’s ever known. The only person who gave her some love back didn’t remember it for 5 years and when he found out, he started to deny it and left her alone once again. She couldn’t go out of that Hotel, so she killed people to try to find her soulmate, a soulmate who would be just like her and don’t mind to get stuck there since she had Sally; She just wanted love, and had to learn how to get it in the worst way possible. I truly feel bad for her.

Originally posted by ungifable

anonymous asked:

Do u ever just remember the time no one said anything for jackson's compliment session and he got so upset ☹️☹️ protec wang jackson 2kalways

I didn’t think anything about it when I first watched the video but when people started approaching me about it, I had to think go back and rewatch it and yeah, it was a little frustrating :C I think Jackson was a little sensitive that day (and I don’t mean that in a bad way at all) and needed some coddling :c

10 Questions tag!

tagged by @obliviat-e ❤️ thank you for tagging me!

Rules: answer these 10 questions & tag 10 blogs

Last movie you watched: idk i can’t remember. i don’t watch movies that much lol

Last song you listened to: don’t wanna cry - seventeen

Last show you watched: riverdale i think?? (i still haven’t watched the finale tho lmao)

Last book you read: always and forever, lara jean. i love this series so so much!!

Last thing you ate: bread and hotdogs

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? italy!!

When would you time travel to? idk i want to change my whole college experience but i also don’t want to suffer another 4 years of college lol

First thing you would do with lottery money: i’ll travel to italy lol 

Character you would hang out with for a day: all i can think of right now is peter kavinsky lol

Time right now: 11:39 am

Tagging: @nicoediangelo @gryffndor @lilpotter @marlenekinnon @tqrth @perseajacksn @iridcsent @serendipitus @yongily