i remember the first time watched s1

anonymous asked:

who is your favorite voltron character? which paladin are you most like?


I so rarely get asks too that I was super excited for this ;;;;;;

My favorite Voltron character and the one I identify with most strongly are, I’m sure to nobody’s surprise, the same:

…that being, Lance. 

Hoo boy I love this kid. I love him??? I love him. 

I just… I can remember back to when I first watched S1, back in… August or so? Only a month or two after it came out. And being shocked by how deeply I felt connected to this goofy, gangly dork of a kid. I remember I wanted so badly for him to have an insecurities storyline because it honestly seemed appropriate for him right from the getgo and (because of how intensely I was projecting) I wanted it for myself, too. 

Lance is such a big mess with such a big heart. He’s constantly embarrassing himself just by the simple act of speaking while simultaneously looking out for his teammates with everything he has in him. When he was keeping Pidge out of trouble and then checking up on them in episode 1 it just touched my heart and it’s been that way ever since and I just relate so strongly to that - to that feeling of honestly being a constant embarrassing screwup of a disaster child who isn’t as good as everyone else… but like, wanting so bad to be everyone’s friend and lighten the mood to make people less stressed and worried and wanting to take care of them when they seem like they’re in trouble?

This could be about 5000 words longer but I. I’ll just. quit while I’m ahead,,,,

thank you so much kind anon for this wonderful ask!!

Okay, but …

Remember in S1, when Abby keeps sneaking off to Mecha station to work on the escape pod, and Kane gets suspicious? He’s all set to go down there and investigate, and then Abby tells him there’s been an outbreak of sickness and any visitors will need to be vaccinated. And Kane backs away.

Marcus Kane - Mr Cool and Calm and In Control - backs away, because he’s afraid of needles. 

(Which, by the way: well-played, Abby!)

The first time I watched that I thought it was hilarious and forgot all about it. And then I watched the finale of season 2.

You know, the finale of s2. When Cage Wallace has Abby strapped to a table and drills into her bones, so her bone marrow can be extracted with a giant fucking needle.

Abby is literally facing the most heightened, horrific version of Kane’s own fear.

Which adds a whole new layer of pain to the agony on Kane’s face. (Good luck unseeing that now you know it.) And then he says “Nobody has to die for bone marrow! We can donate it!”, clearly meaning he will donate it if that gets Abby off the table … and I’m dead.

The worst thing is that for me the finale just kind of tainted Ichabbie for me. Like, I will always love them, don’t get me wrong. What they had was beautiful. But that ending was just such a slap in the face that it overshadows many of my happy Ichabbie thoughts and memories. I can’t even imagine very many happy alternative fantasies in my mind because all I keep thinking about is how they basically confirmed in canon their relationship was nothing. I can’t unsee that.

It’s nice to remember the good times but that one horrible moment just kind of ruins the nostalgia. I can pretend SH ended after S1. Sure. But pretending won’t ever truly ease the pain of being screwed over so royally.

It’s just one of those things where I wish I had just never watched the show in the first place. I thought by watching casually this season I wasn’t getting too involved anymore but I just feel so betrayed. I’ll move on eventually, of course, but I don’t think I’ll forget how sucky this show has made me feel.

I mean, I can’t pretend a 3 year period of my life never happened. I hate I got so invested but I did and now I wish I never had. I don’t regretting getting to know the fandom, I love y'all. But if I could turn back the clock and never have watched this show, I probably would.

There’s all these “Don’t have any regrets for watching!” posts and I appreciate the attempt at looking at the bright side and trying to find a silver lining but it just felt like such a huge waste of my time and thoughts in the end that I can’t help but be a bit bitter. I just don’t see right now that it was worth it. The cons outweigh the pros by a mile.