i remember i used to have the biggest crush on this girl

hello there!! have you been doing well, angel? if not, this is a gentle but firm reminder to get your shit together. but hey, why shouldn’t you be proud of yourself? you have conquered so many years of your life and - no don’t you dare try to be modest, every single tiny achievement matters. + I’m here to tell you that failing is NORMAL. everyone fails at one thing or another but succeed at another. And if you feel that you aren’t successful at anything, then darling you haven’t tried hard enough.
alright alright, before I begin ranting out of the topic, let’s get started.

note: this is a part of the get your shit together masterposts. To view the other articles in this category and to view the topics in this that I’ll be covering in future, go here.


avoiding negative feelings

the biggest reason why I don’t have that many negative thoughts (note that I said “many” and not all. I too have bad days once  in a while) now because I realized that I, and only I, am completely on my side. I’m there for me at all times, throughout my life. And doesn’t it sound stupid to be against the only player on my team?

once i realized that, it become so much easier to work at par with myself and to love myself. I became more patient with myself, started embracing my flaws and loving the person that I was. sounds pretty cringy? that’s only because we don’t talk about these things and we feel they aren’t worth talking about. However if you really want to conquer life, loving yourself is the most important layer in this many layered cheesecake and yes, i like food.

cheat code: so how do avoid negative feelings? the answer lies in realizing your worth and capabilities and being on the same team as your own self.


dealing with negative feelings

now we come to the part when you are having negative feelings. Everyone has bad days and negative feelings but you can deal with ‘em in a better way than feeling low and wasting your entire day. and here’s way number one -

figure out what triggered you. when I have a bad day I sit down and list down what exactly provocated the bad day. these were my reasons -

  • someone said I was being annoying
  • I didn’t get much done that day
  • I felt gross and untidy

then, find solutions to those problems.

  • hey, everyone don’t have to like you. you are proud of yourself and that’s enough.
  • Make a list. Do those things. I don’t care if you’re tired, do those things. If you don’t do them, you’ll feel guilty and that’s never fun.
  • god, just go take a shower again. (taylor, you stink.)

as you see, the problems were really petty and solutions are pretty simple. but remember that these problems aren’t negligible. this method works bc once you figure out solutions to them, you figure out a method how to fight them so that the same problems to affect you again. Now I know that when I feel gross I need to take a shower and not roam around like a stinky animal. See what I mean?

lastly, realize that these things are not worth you losing control of yourself and walking around like a dead zombie #rip.

sometimes I have negative feelings because I feel under confident or not sure about something. when this happens, which leads me to way number two - I have a convo with myself.

ok mate, why do you feel down? um I don’t feel sure about this presentation. what if I screw this up? what if the teacher is like this is so shit?? what if I never get to eat donuts again???

seriously? well, I can assure you that donuts aren’t going extinct. as for this interview, listen child. you have prepared for this shit, you can do it. doN’T freak out and don’t think you can’t ace this. you can, trust me.

talking to myself not only helps calm me down but also gives me a sense of purpose. That I have promised myself to ace this and I cannot let myself down. 


loving yourself

  • understanding why

why should you love yourself?

bc you yourself crave the feeling to be loved. isn’t being in love simply magical? Well, so is being in love with yourself. it is even more magical tbh. this is bc you are with yourself 24/7 and when you start loving yourself you become much more aware of yourself and you have able to work much better since you are able to identify your flaws and strengths. Remember when you used to bitch about that girl on whom every guy had a crush and you none? (same fam #LongLiveTheHobos) Turns out that someone does have a huge crush on you. Love yourself, your brain craves for you.

  • take yourself out on dates

raise your hand if you think dates are great. I agree. They are even better when you go out to a restaurant bc like food is great. it is super important that you take your own self out of dates and not only bc you are hungry but bc a conqueror (yAS THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE) knows the value of taking time off for himself. These are not simply slogging through the weekend and binge watching Netflix, mind you. That’s a huge waste of time, froind. A conqueror makes a date official. cheat code: remember that your dates have to be memorable and most importantly, well earned. Here’s a checklist to make your dates more special.

  • positive energy, check.
  • more smiles and hugs, check.
  • a happy mindset, check.
  • and how about a list of things that you can do for yourself?

the turn a bad day around challenge

here’s the first challenge of the get your shit together series! I introduced this bc readers said that the topics on here were easy to say but harder to carry out.I do agree with that but hey, I never said that getting your shit together would be easy. by completing the challenges you can implement the ideas I’m trying to propagate here and also get a feel of having that particular area under your control.

  • task one: when you are having a bad day, sit down. list down the reasons why it was a bad day and why are you feel down. it can be as simple as not getting enough sleep and feeling grumpy.
  • task two: list down the solutions that you can use to overcome those problems.
  • task three: remind yourself that these petty problems cannot cost you your valuable time and that you are a badass bitch and you can handle everything.
  • task four: make a to-do list. I know you haven’t done no shit today so now is the time to shine. don’t put like a thousand things on the list tho lmao. three - four would do enough for the moment.
  • task five: do those things. seriously, do them.
  • task six: (and this is the nicest one) treat yo'self!! you have literally turned around a bad day and done so much shit! you have successfully conquered this day, a day which would have been spent lamenting and getting nothing done. maybe go treat yourself to some delicious pumpkin pie from a bakery (share with me pls); you really do deserve it!! I’m so proud of you :^)

and that’s it, it’s a wrap! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there (or maybe you just wanna talk about food), feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror :“)

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

Keep reading

skam fic rec masterpost

here’s a huge fic rec list of some fics that i have read and am currently reading and im in love with

big thanks to fic writers! yall are amazing and so important to the fandom <3

(ps i’m so sorry i had to shorten up the summaries on some of them so it wouldnt be too long!!)

(pps i update this very frequently as i read so feel free to come back from time to time to look for any new fics!)

make sure you read the trigger warnings for some fics as they can get angsty

okay here we go :) happy reading <3

Keep reading

The Fourth Musketeer (Part 2)

Originally posted by fyeahriverdale

Part one here

Requests: I just read The Fourth Musketeer and I’m in love! Will you release the next part soon? I can’t wait ❤❤❤

Can u please do a part 2 of “the four musketeer” please?

I know requests are closed and so please don’t even rush with this request like honestly take however long you want to, but I actually need a 2nd part of ‘the fourth musketeer’ your writing is so amazing!

Pairing: Archie x Reader

Description: Veronica has become invested in (Y/N)’s story, and so she seeks out those who knew her.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,437

Tag list: @isis278 @lost-in-wonderland-x @spam-to-follow@thatspidernamedmeagan @isabellarose5150

A/N: I have been having so much fun writing this series, hope you guys enjoy this part!


“(Y/N)” was the only word that came out of Veronica’s mouth as she sat down at the lunch table. Jughead, Betty, and Kevin’s heads all snapped up.

“How do you know about (Y/N)?” Kevin questioned.  Veronica shrugged.

“Archie was kind of having a meltdown at Jughead’s party,” she answered.  Betty and Jughead shared a concerned look.

“God, what happened?” Betty asked.

“He was screaming her name when I came up,” Veronica explained.  "He babbled on about how much he loved her and that he should’ve told her and that he kissed her.“

“Wait, he kissed her?” Kevin interrupted, his eyes doubling in size.  He glanced over at Jughead and Betty who appeared to be just as shocked as he was.

“You didn’t know?” Veronica’s eyes widened.

“No,” Jughead muttered, shaking his head.  "He never told us.“

“We always knew they had a thing for each other,” Kevin elaborated.  "But we never knew that something actually happened between them.“

"When did she move?”

“Two years ago,” Jughead answered.  "The summer before eighth grade.“

"There was this dance,” Betty reminisced, “in the fall of our eighth grade year.”

“Archie was gonna ask (Y/N),” Jughead frowned.  "He was preparing himself ever since he first heard about the dance.“

"And he never got the chance,” Kevin sighed.

“Do you know why she moved?” Veronica inquired.  The rest of her table shrugged.

“Probably her dad,” Betty replied.  "He was a really intense lawyer, and he got relocated to some big city firm.“

”(Y/N) was gonna try and stay with the Andrews,“ said Jughead.  "They were more than willing to take her in, too. But-”

“But, of course, her parents wanted her to go with them,” Veronica finished.  Jughead grimly nodded.  "So two whole years, and Archie still isn’t over this girl?“

"Well the thing is,” Betty grimaced, “he never coped well with her leaving.  After (Y/N) left he was… strange.  He practically denied her existence.”

“Seriously?”

"Yeah,” Kevin chimed in.  "He never talked about her or anything.  It was pretty frightening, actually.  It seemed like he had completely forgotten about her.“

"And if you’re wondering why Archie can’t get over her,” Jughead answered Veronica’s unasked question, “it’s because he was always in love with her.”

“Yeah, he told me that,” she mumbled.

“I don’t think you understand though,” he said.  "They were both so in love.  They were always there for each other, caring for each other.  When Archie’s parents were fighting, (Y/N) was there; whenever (Y/N)’s dog died, Archie was there.  You couldn’t find one without the other.  Betty and I were also good friends with them, but those two?  They were inseparable.“


Maybe it was Veronica’s fascination with dramatic love stories; maybe it was her desire for an explanation as to why Archie didn’t return her feelings for him.  Either way, she found herself searching for more information about (Y/N).  That was how she ended up at the Andrews household.  Archie wasn’t home.

”(Y/N)?“ Fred Andrews repeated, holding a beer as he sat across from Veronica.  "I haven’t heard that name in a while.”

“I, on the contrary, have been hearing her name quite a lot lately,” Veronica shrugged, sipping on a glass of water.  "So what happened between her and Archie?“

"Oh, I don’t think it’s my place to say,” Mr. Andrews sighed.  "It’s Archie’s tale to tell.“

"He already told me about her,” Veronica quickly explained.  "But only the happy parts.  Only the parts he wants to remember.“  Mr. Andrews exhaled and took another swig of beer.  He stared at Veronica for a moment in silence.

"Why do you want to know?” he finally asked.

“I like hearing stories,” she shrugged. “This sounds like a good book.”  Fred Andrews laughed.

“If this was a book,” he responded, “my son would’ve had a happy ending with that girl.”

“Maybe he will,” Veronica offered.  "I don’t think the story’s over yet.“  Fred’s laughter shrunk into a smile.  He cleared his throat.

"If there’s one thing you should know about (Y/N),” he started, “it’s that she is the purest soul you will ever meet.  She was kind and gentle, and she was exactly what Archie needed.”  Veronica quietly nodded, intrigued.  "I knew both her father and mother quite well.  So, of course, when our children were born around the same time, we knew we wanted them to be best friends.  A couple years later, we realized we wanted them to get married.“  Fred Andrews and Veronica both laughed.  "Sometimes in the movies you see the boy and girl resisting each other because when you’re little, it’s gross to talk to someone who’s the opposite gender.  That was never the case with Archie and (Y/N).  They were both sweet on each other.”

“That’s so cute,” Veronica cooed.

“It was,” Mr. Andrews sighed.  "I remember this one day; I think Archie was eleven at the time.  He and (Y/N) were at the park all day, as they usually were.  That night, he came running home and swung the door open.  His mouth was going at a mile per minute.  When I finally got him to slow down, he told me that he was in love with (Y/N).  He had the biggest grin on his face.“

"The day he kissed her?” Veronica clarified.  Mr. Andrews chuckled.

“Yeah.  God, it made me so happy.  I knew that he sometimes overheard his mom and I fighting, and I was worried that it would somehow affect his relationships.  That kind of stuff damages a kid, you know?  But he had stars in his eyes as he talked about (Y/N), and I don’t think I’ve seen him that happy since then.”

“I heard you offered to take her in,” Veronica changed the subject, “when she was going to move.”  Fred Andrews stiffly nodded.

“Archie’s mom and I fought a lot.  But (Y/N)’s parents?  That poor kid.  She slept over here so many times because the screaming was keeping her awake.  And the saddest part was she never cried or appeared to be sad.  She would just come in here, clutching Archie’s hand, looking up at me with big sad eyes and politely asked me to stay.  Of course, I never refused.”  Veronica frowned.  "When I heard she was moving, I was concerned about how crushed Archie was, sure, but I couldn’t bear to let (Y/N) go off on her own with her parents.  At least when she was in Riverdale, I knew she had a safe place here.  Now, I don’t know if she has one.“  He took a long swig of beer before continuing. ”(Y/N) was like a daughter to me.  Archie isn’t the only one who loved her.“

"Sounds like a special girl,” Veronica commented.  Fred nodded.

“She was.”


“Have you ever considered writing a book about this?”  Veronica sat across from Jughead in Pop’s.  He lightly glared at her, lowering his laptop lid.

“Write about what?” he snapped.  She had interrupted his writing when he was in the zone.

“(Y/N),” she answered.  Jughead shot a glance at Betty.

“You know before Jason Blossom was shot, (Y/N) and Archie were the most interesting things in Riverdale.”

“Wasn’t there a two-year gap between (Y/N) leaving and Jason getting shot?” Veronica inquired.

“Isn’t it interesting that someone so in love could just pretend that the person they loved never existed?” Betty countered on Jughead’s behalf.

“Touché,” Veronica muttered.

“Anyways, to answer your question, of course I’ve considered it,” Jughead said.  "In fact, I already wrote a whole novel.“

"Seriously?” Betty and Veronica exclaimed simultaneously.  Jughead nodded nonchalantly.

“Of course.  But I do think something is missing,” he responded.  Veronica furrowed her eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I kept it non-fiction,” he elaborated.  "I didn’t add anything that didn’t happen.  Although, I guess now I’ll have to put in the kiss.  Anyways, I don’t have a plot twist.“

”(Y/N) moving isn’t plot twist enough for you?“ Betty asked a question this time.

"That’s the climax,” he explained.  "Everything that happened after that was the falling action.  I have no plot twist and no resolution.“  All three sitting at the table furrowed their eyebrows.  A faint jingle alerted the diner that there was a new customer.  Betty casually glanced up and then did a double take at what she saw.  She gripped Jughead’s arm.

"Is that plot twist enough for you?” she whispered, gesturing towards the entrance.  Jughead and Veronica’s gaze both snapped towards the front, their focus attaching to the figure who just walked in.

“No way,” Jughead breathed.

“Is that…” Veronica trailed off, unable to form a sentence.  Jughead and Betty both nodded, confirming her suspicions.

“(Y/N).”

Part three here     Part four here     Part five here

The Morning After.

Marauders Era

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Reader || Sirius Black x Reader || Remus Lupin x Reader ||  Lily Evans x Reader || Severus Snape x Reader .

Warning: Somewhat sexually themed altho not explicitly described.

A/N: I knew that these are more than 3 characters (as stated in the rules) , but I wrote these on my own according so … Ima break my own rules. That doesn’t mean you should, but just a a note, because I probably will do this again in the future. 

Also I tried to keep the reader gender neutral, I hope I justified that idea. 

Please let me know what you all think!

Anyways Enjoy!


Loves,


- Admin Blue

Keep reading

Warframe but like in high school

Atlas: Senior. Workout buddies with Rhino. Has a rock collection. Surprisingly good at cooking.

Ash: Senior. Bros with Excalibur. Closet weeb. Thinks Banshee is attractive.

Banshee: Junior. Loves listening to dubstep. Headphones never come off…NEVER. Very quiet and shy.

Chroma: Senior. Has a large pet lizard that he feeds live chickens named “Draco”. Plays Dragonborn in Dungeons & Dragons. Has multiple dragon posters.

Excalibur: Senior. Plays Quarterback on the football team. Has high grades. Also closet weeb. Has a crush on Mag.

Ember: Junior. Has a thing for Valkyr. Throws lit firecrackers at people. Smokes weed.

Equinox: Freshmen. Creepy twins. Finish each other’s sentences. One wears black, the other wears white. ALWAYS together.

Frost: Junior. Has a thing for Ember. Is always wearing a hoodie because he’s cold…all the time.

Harrow: Sophomore. Really into occult stuff. Has Demonic pentagrams on his notebooks and lockers. “Do you have time to talk about our Lord and savior, Satan?” is the line he uses to break the ice. Taken a liking to Nekros. History teacher’s favorite. Scares the hell outta Mag. (Poor girl.)

Hydroid: Sophomore. Likes pirates of the Caribbean. Wears a pirate hat everywhere. Perverted. Tells terrible pirate related puns.

Inaros: Sophomore. Has a beetle collection. Timid. When threatened throws pocket sand. Nekros’ younger brother.

Ivara: Freshman. Loves Archery. Reads comics. Green Arrow and Hawkeye are favorite heroes. Pro Hanzo in Overwatch. Always falls asleep in class.

Limbo: Junior. Wears a Tux everywhere. Thinks he’s good with the ladies. Not very good with the ladies. Terrible at Math.

Loki: Sophomore. Ash’s younger brother. Plays pranks with Mirage. Has a criminal record for Vandalism and Public indecency. Also smokes weed.

Lotus: Principal. Knows everything about the students. Chooses to do nothing about it. Inexplicably always drinking coffee. Plays handheld games (like DS and PSP) during work hours.

Mag: Freshman. Trusted by Lotus to keep everyone in check. Never acts out. Straight A’s. Makes Nyx jealous because her boobs are bigger. Loves Astrology and Physics. Has science blog. Smallest in school

Mirage: Senior. Teases Loki with “Perverted acts”. Loves playing pranks. Blew up Principal’s bathroom and didn’t get caught. Rarely shows up for class. Likes to dress Mag up in outfits.

Mesa: Junior. Plays Overwatch with Ivara, mains McCree. Loves to tell you what time it is (you know damn well what I mean) Has a bunch of old Cowboy movies. Remembers every scene of Walker Texas Ranger.

Nyx: Senior. Small boobs, big brain. Everyone listens to her, Sorta the disciplinarian.

Nekros: Senior. Always wears all black. Never smiles. Childhood friendswith Saryn. Unaware that almost every girl and Limbo (excluding Nyx, Saryn, Ember, and Mirage) is afraid of him.

Nezha: Sophomore. Only Transgender in school, loves to tell everyone about it. Burned down the gym one time and didn’t get caught. Wrote his name in fire in the school courtyard.

Nidus: Junior. Owns every zombie movie ever. Likes to wear zombie makeup to school. Jumpscares Mag all of the time.

Nova: Freshman. Best at astrophysics…beats Mag actually. Has a weird thing for blowing shit up. Respected by Ember. Tutors Rhino and Valkyr.

Oberon: Junior. President of Nature club. Loves butterflies. Extremely dense but has an A in biology.

Octavia: Junior. Banshee and her are the female equivalent of bros for life. Made Banshee’s Spotify playlist. Makes her own mixtapes. Plays said mixtapes on morning announcements. Lotus would do something about it if she didn’t really like the music.

Rhino: Senior. Jacked! Pretty dumb. Great football player.

Saryn: Senior. Owns a Katana for God knows why. Pretty chill. Student Council president. Smokes weed and drinks. Developed feelings for Nekros. Created the dogmatic teaching of “Biggest boobs makes the rules”. Also not very liked by Nyx.

Stalker: Sophomore. Emo. Probably planning school shooting. Hates everyone but Nekros. Has a really creepy crush on Mirage.

Titania: Freshman. VP of nature club Huge crush on Oberon but will never say it. Even dressed up as a butterfly to get him to notice her only to be outshined by his butterfly costume.

Teshin: Gym teacher. Doesn’t give a fuck.

Trinity: Junior. Goody two shoes. Helps out the school nurse. Wants to be a doctor. Asked Volt to play Doctor. Volt thought she wanted to like practice medicine which they did…sorta.

Vauban: Senior. Engineer. In robotics. A’s in physics. Heard of sports at most. Always in charge of fixing everyone’s….everything. Lotus even bribed him to fix the computersin the lab rather than paying for an actual professional. Worked out in the end.

Volt: Junior. On track team. Listens to Sonic the hedgehog soundtrack while jogging. Crush on Saryn. Avoids Trinity actively.

Valkyr: Sophomore. Good at gym but not much else. Anger issues. Pummeled Hydroid to a pulp for looking at her butt too long. Rhino’s younger cousin.

Zephyr: Junior. Owns a pet hawk that creeps out everyone considering it follows her every command. Does parkour and hanglides.

Wukong: Freshman. Practices gymnastics. Practices martial arts with the Bo staff just to say he can. Showed up to practice drunk one time. Has a pet monkey named Pyjak that he puts sunglasses on and takes selfies with.

Clem & Darvo: College kids that hang out near the school. The suppliers of all of the contraband that goes around the school.

Amaryn (New Loka Lady): Vice Principal. Lotus’ advisory and all-around babysitter. Struggling to find a way to hide Lotus’ video games from her.

Cressa Tal (Steel Meridian Lady): English Teacher. Claims she hates men yet has a new boyfriend every few weeks. Every class is like a sad romance novel.

Arbiters of Hexis: Mean teachers I forgot to cover.

Ergo Glast (Perrin Sequence guy): Math Teacher. So boring he sometimes puts himself to sleep while he’s at the board teaching.

Red Veil dude: History Teacher. During class he makes random Conspiracy theories. Everyone thinks he’s crazy.

ASK ME ANYTHING: TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS EDITION
  • Tim McGraw: The name of my first summer love.
  • Picture To Burn: Someone who's picture I'd like to burn
  • Teardrops On My Guitar: The last time I cried during a song
  • A Place In This World: The Place I'd like to live the most
  • Cold As You: The worst rejection I've ever gotten.
  • The Outside: When did I feel most alone?
  • Tied Together With A Smile: Who is the strongest person I know?
  • Stay Beautiful: Who is the most beautiful person I know?
  • Mary's Song (Oh My My My): The name of my first crush
  • Our Song: A song that means a lot to me.
  • I'm Only Me When I'm With You: A person I can be myself with
  • Invisible: An awkward confession.
  • A Perfectly Good Heart: I'll tell you something sweet about your blog.
  • Fearless: My biggest fear.
  • Fifteen: A memory from when I was fifteen
  • Love Story: A story about something romantic that happened to me.
  • Hey Stephen: The name of my crush
  • White Horse: Have I ever been in love with someone who was taken?
  • You Belong With Me: Which celebrity shoyld see, they belong with me?
  • Breathe: Something I can't breathe without
  • Tell Me Why: A question of mine that has yet to be answered.
  • You're Not Sorry: Something I'm sorry for?
  • Forever & Always: What do I wish to have forever and always?
  • The Best Day: What was the best day so far?
  • Change: What do I want to change about myself?
  • Jump Then Fall: Who's laugh is the best sound I have ever heard?
  • Untouchable: My biggest dream
  • Come In With The Rain: My favourite kind of weather.
  • Superstar: My celebritycrush
  • The Other Side Of The Door: The last person I fought with
  • Mine: The best thing that's ever been mine
  • Sparks Fly: Who captivates my like a fireworkshow?
  • Back To December: If I could go back in time, where would I go?
  • Speak Now: *Insert any question here*
  • Dear John: Something I wanna say to my exboyfriend/girlfriend/crush
  • Mean: The meanest thing someone has ever said to me.
  • The Story Of Us: Tell a story about someone you know
  • Never Grow Up: A memory about growing up
  • Enchanted: Someone who enchants me.
  • Better Than Revenge: Someone you want to teach a lesson
  • Innocent: How easily do I forgive?
  • Haunted: A memory that haunts me.
  • Last kiss: The last person I kissed/wanted to kiss.
  • Long Live: Who will I remember forever?
  • Ours: Who has a pretty little mind?
  • If This Was A Movie: If my life was a movie, who would play me?
  • Superman; If I had any superpower, what would it be?
  • State Of Grace: Who is my achilles' heel?
  • Red: Someone I just can't forget.
  • Treacherous: The most dangerous thing I have ever done
  • I Knew You Were Trouble: The last time I got in trouble
  • All Too Well: Something someone said, I remember all too well
  • 22: My best birthday ever.
  • I almost do: How often do I doubt myself?
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Together: A couple you wish would get back together
  • Stay Stay Stay: Someone you can depend on
  • The Last Time: The Last Time I....*insert something here*
  • Holy Ground: I don't wanna dance, if I'm not dancing with....
  • Sad Beautiful Tragic: Something that makes me sad
  • The Lucky One: My biggest dream
  • Everything Has Changed: Something that has changed about me
  • Starlight: The most marvelous tune
  • Begin Again: What would I do again and again?
  • The Moment I Knew: The moment I knew...*insert something here*
  • Come Back...Be Here: Someone I miss
  • Girl at Home: Have I ever cheated on someone?
Cross off

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Phone Sex with Steve Rogers.

Word Count:1,485

Warnings: Smut, Language, Phone Sex, Dirty Talk, Mention of Threesome, Masturbation and probably more

A/N: This is pure filth for @marvelous-fvcks‘ writing challenge. 18+ only pretty please!

Originally posted by forchrisevans

Steve tapped his pen against his bottom lip, his brows furrowed in concentration. His notebook was open on the table in front of him. He always carried a notebook with him. It began when people started giving him suggestions on what he should read, eat, watch or listen. He decided to simplify things by making lists.  

With your consent, he created a list of things he wanted to try in bed with you. He had a special notebook for that and usually kept it in the drawer of his bedside table. You shared your kinks with him, hoping it would stimulate his imagination. You were not disappointed, Steven Grant Rogers was a kinky man.

Keep reading

Hard to Get - Thomas

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Thomas/Reader

Word Count: 9,016

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Kinky Thomas, Multiple Orgasms, Oral (both receiving), Bondage, Hair Pulling, Public Oral Sex, Masturbation, Thomas’s giant dick pressing into his jeans (cause hot damn we all know it does)

Notes: Some cute lil nonnie said they wanted me to write another Thomas smut. So kinky Thomas it is. Thanks @stilinski-jpeg @minhosmeanhoe and @dylan-trash-tbh for yelling at me to write this so much. Otherwise I would have kept procrastinating. I hope this is worth yelling at me so much. 

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Uptown Girl

Summary: Y/N comes from one of the richest families in New York. Peter crushes hard on her but knows they could never happen.

AN: hi i’ve come back from the dead lol (this is also gonna be in peter’s POV)

Peter Parker x Reader 

// Masterlist //


Originally posted by spiderholland

“Are you coming over tonight?” My friend, Ned Leeds, said.

“I can’t. I have the Stark internship.” I opened my locker to avoid looking at him. He would see right through my lies.

“Again? Didn’t you go there yesterday too?” Ned leaned against the locker beside me.

“Well, Mr. Stark expects me to work hard. I don’t wanna let him down.”

“Don’t you think you’re working a little too hard?” Ned crossed his arms.

“No! I just want to-”

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Loving You To Death (Sequel)
Word Count: 9k

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Author’s Note: This is the sequel to the Free The Animal one-shot.

You feel a strong sense of deja vu as you stand at yet another party watching the black haired asshole groping a girl that is sitting on his lap.

There were slight differences between the two times. This girl is a brunette, they’re sitting down, you’re alone… but the biggest difference of all is that you know, this time, that Jungkook wouldn’t be on your bed later this evening, waiting for you to finish your shower so he can jump on you.

Fuck, you needed another drink.

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Brother’s Best Friend (M)

Jaehyun x Reader (feat. Johnny)

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: Smut, Slight angst

A/N: My first published smut ayy.. I was stuck on this for a while but last night lordt I just went on one and finished it at like 4am lmao… Ty to my FLOwer (@nctreacting) for helping me out with this 💕

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One of the Guys (Colby Brock Imagine)

Requested? Yes
Anonymous askedcould you do a Colby imagine where you’re just “one of the guys” (and they all think your hot) and you’re all getting hammered at Sam and Colby’s and you try to out-drink Corey so you end up sooo drunk that Colby has to take care of you and you end up spilling your feelings for him to him?? thanks!!! 
A/N: I changed it a little but still have the main plot

Colby: Hey (Y/N), doing anything tonight?”
You: Nope, why?
Colby: Wanna hang out with me, Sam, Brennen, Corey and Nick tonight?
You: Sure! What we doing?
Colby: Just hanging out at Brennen’s place.
You: Sounds cool, what time?
Colby: I’ll come pick u up at around 5:30ish

So here I sit, on Brennen’s couch watching him and Corey have a drinking contest. All of us yelling out for them to chug it down. Corey won throwing his fist in the air in victory as Brennen fell to floor in despair.

“You bitch!” Brenne called out.
“Suck it loser!” Corey said.

We were all laughing having a great time. I was holding Kobe as all f this went down because he is the cutest little dog I’ve ever seen and I refuse to let go of him. Maggie, Kat and Devyn were going to come but ended up having plan that needed to be attended to therefore it was just me and guys. Corey offered up another drinking game, who can take the most shots.

“I can do it.” I said.

The boys started “ooooo”ing and telling Corey he’s bout to be beat by a girl. I set Kobe down as Brennen prepared the shots. 

“Alright, I have 20 shots here for you guys. Whoever can-” Brennen started but I cut him off.
“Why do you have 20 shot glasses?!”
“Woman! Please, let me finish and don’t worry about it.” Brennen jokingly yelled at me. “As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you have 20 shots here. Whoever has the most shots gets bragging rights and has to buy the other person Tender Greens. On your mark, get set, GO!”

I just downing shots, ignoring the burning feeling I have in my throat just so I can beat Corey. Eight shots in, Corey stops to take a breather and I just down the rest of the shots. All the boys had their mouths agape as they winced one of their quietest and shyest friend take 12 shots of Vodka without stopping. To add on top of that, I’m a lightweight. 

“You sir, owe me Tender Greens.” I said to Corey with a smile of victory.
“Colby, you got a badie bro.” Brennen said to Colby patting him on the back.

I bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from blushing, all the boys, except Nick, know I’ve had the biggest crush on Colby. I always thought Colby thought of me as only a best friend and nothing more. So Brennen saying that made me want to hide in a corner, until Colby said, “I do, don’t I?”

Smiling at me and giving me a wink, Colby wrapped his arm around my shoulders giving me a hug and congratulated me on winning. By the end of the night I was gone, I was drunken mess. Colby took me back to his and Sam’s apartment because he didn’t trust me alone in mine. I was a giggling mess. 

“You’re so cute, Colby.” I said giggling as I patted his face.
“Thank you, (Y/N), you’re cute too.” He chuckled.

Currently, we’re sat in Colby’s bed, Colby listening to me babbling on who knows what. 

“Colby, I have a secret, but you can’t tell Colby.” I slurred.
“Okay, I won’t tell Colby.” Colby promised making me smile.
“Okay, for the past three years, I’ve had the biggest crush on Colby Brock. I think I’m in love with him actually.” I said.
“What..” Colby said.
“Yeah, but shhhhh don’t tell Colby.” I giggled before passing out.

~~~

“Colbyyyyyy, my head hurts.” I whined into his pillow the next morning.
“Well who’s fault is that? You wanted to prove Corey you can do more shots than him.” Colby said handing me some aspirin. 
“I didn’t want to prove I can drink more, I wanted free Tender Greens.” I pointed taking the medicine. “Thanks for letting me crash here last night, hope I wasn’t too much of a hassle.”
“Na, you’re fine. You giggled a lot though, refused to give Brennen Kobe back before we left, continuously told me how cute I am, and toldmethatyouwereinlovewithme.” Colby said rushing out the last bit.
“I did what?” I asked.

Colby sighed before taking a seat next to me and taking my hands in his.

“You obviously don’t remember but, you told me that you were in love with me for three years. Is that true or just drunken slurs that mean nothing?” Colby asked with hope in his eyes.
“What do you want it to mean?” I asked.
“I want it to be true because I’m in love with you too.”
“Then it’s most definitely true.”
“Thank god, or this would’ve been awkward.” Colby said before planting a kiss on my lips.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” Colby said when we pulled apart.
“I’ve been waiting for you to do that.” I smiled.
“Glad we wanted the same thing.”

Sweet as Marilyn, Cold as Cleopatra

****Long post alert***. This is primarily for the asks rotting in my inbox for months. Apologies! I have been MIA from Tumblr and the bowl for a while now (sick). Anyway, the title of this post pays homage to two seductresses I admire a lot. My sugar daddies who have been great mentors. The horrible men I’ve dated who have equally taught me a lot. And Robert Greene (author of Art of Seduction and Mastery. Great books. READ them!),You become a master by observing first. Analyze. Learn. Practice. Experiment. Apply. Transform.  "When you learn the rules, you can dominate".

Lesson 1: Seduction is more psychological than physical. The physical aspect of it is important as well. That’s it’s own category. But when you understand what your sugar daddy truly wants, you can (dare I say, ) “manipulate” him better. Anyone can be seductive. From skinny to bbw to medium size to giant scar on your forehead. You can succeed as a sugar baby. You just have to understand how to play the game and yes, I do think it’s all a game. So next time your sugar daddy yaps about his robust, lazy wife who may or may not be fucking the foreign gardener and spends 9 hours at the country club; and his cocaine addicted son at Harvard, LISTEN. He wants a shoulder, so be that. The key here is to show that support, care, and understanding but at the same time, don’t tangle yourself in the drama that you become his on-call therapist. Don’t call him at 10pm at night to check up on him. Unless he’s willing to pay you $800 per hour. When you understand what a person wants/how their mind operates, you can cater to their needs/deal with them better. OBSERVE. When you master psychological seduction, you will be well on your way.

Lesson 2: Be mysterious/intriguing. If your mom kicked you out of the house when you were a fetus, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, at least in the initial stages. If you dropped out of college when you were still in the womb, keep it to yourself. When you reveal too much of yourself, you tire/bore people and eventually become forgettable. Everyone has a story. So save your sob story and ex boyfriend drama for the struggling author down the street who has been having writer’s block for the past 15 years.  What does Cleopatra,Marilyn Monroe, and Casanova all have in common? Mystery/leaving something to the imagination. These women/man armed themselves with an air of mystery that left those in their wake yearning for more. I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie as one of the most beautiful women on earth. But man there’s something about her that makes Hollywood go crazy. She shares bits of herself and her life but there’s always that edge of mystery. She leaves you wondering what’s going on behind the *is it fake or is it not fake* lips/smile. The key is timing. Don’t share too much.  Keep them guessing. No need for your sugar daddy or pot to know what cards you have up your sleeves. By sharing too much, you make yourself seem needy and DESPERATE. No bueno.

Lesson 3: Don’t always be available. I used to make this mistake, especially when I liked a guy. Never lasted long in my opinion. So I learned and changed tactics and mannnnn things definitely changed. Sometimes, saying NO works more in your favor. I don’t care if you’re bored out of your mind at home and counting the cobwebs on your ceiling. An occasional NO will put a sugar daddy in his place. It will tell him that you’re not at his beck and call. It will also tell him that you have other priorities outside of sugaring. Your life/time does not revolve around him. If he’s that interested in you, trust me, he will reschedule and work with you. Don’t turn into Mrs.NO to Everything but learn how to use it when applicable. This ties in a bit with mystery. When you say no and he asks what your plans for the day are, cultivate a story if you don’t have legit plans! You can say that you’re going on a short getaway with a group of girlfriends, going on a spa treatment for yourself only, etc. The key here is to appear that you have a fun, adventurous life outside. Your time is PRECIOUS.

Lesson 3.5: Create respectable distance. This ties in with 3. By creating respectable distance, you are again putting a sugar daddy in his place. You need space because you have a life. It will command his respect. The thing about a lot of men is that they loveeee a challenge. Especially wealthy men, who are used to having whatever they desire. By giving him what he wants, whenever he wants it, he will exploit that and before you know it, he will detach and disappear (which a lot of guys do). When you challenge him, it will drive him crazy. It will keep him on edge. He will come back for more. So treat yourself like a rare gem. There are vultures out here. So when you play into his wishes easily, well… easy come, easy goes.And before they go, they will devour you completely. When you allow him to insert himself in every aspect of your life, he will probably take advantage of you. The key here is to create enough distance that he’ll keep wondering about you but not so much that he completely forgets you. This can be tricky but it is not impossible.

Lesson 4: Confidence. I’m one of those people who believe that while some have innate confidence, others have to learn it. So if need be, LEARN confidence. It takes time and patience. Trial/error. Note what your shortcomings are and practice on bettering yourself. It could range from repeating daily mantras to yourself to changing a specific look about you, practice! practice! Note what your strengths are and USE it to your advantage. Again practice!  Marilyn Monroe wasn’t always a sultry, seductress. In fact, from her appearance, her voice, her make-up, to her persona, she had to practice it all to master it, especially in public. It took her years, but she eventually morphed into one of the most iconic seductresses of all time.

Lesson 5: Be bold/ assertive. There is a fine line between boldness/assertiveness and Mrs.Yes. It is okay to voice your interests, opinions, dislikes, etc. It is equally okay to disagree with something your sugar daddy says/wants. The key is to do it respectfully. Don’t try so hard to please him that you agree to everything (including things that make you uncomfortable). If he wants you to have sex with his bald, hairy micro-human friend from the country club and the idea makes your vagina retract in disgust, SPEAK UP. Don’t be Mrs. Yes because it can be dangerous to you. Plus you will give him the upper hand.

Lesson 6: Be playful. You don’t have to be serious 24/7. Make effective use of body language by using eye contact, touch, smiling, etc.Position your posture in such a way that you appear comfortable but not slouching. Engage him in fun activities sometimes. Show him what you enjoy doing/try to learn what he enjoys as well. I remember when I first took my sugar daddy to a rave. He was soooo out of place with his expensive ass suit but we had such a good laugh. It was fun. It is also okay to flirt and tease but do not over do it. . If he tells you of his former beauty queen ex wife who divorced him, took half his wealth, and got full custody of the kids, it will NOT be a good time to start flirting then or batting your eye lashes. The key is to know when to be playful and when to engage in a serious conversation with him.

Lesson 7: Stroke his ego occasionally, especially when he’s a good boy. Let him know you enjoy his company, his time, what he gives you, etc. It’s tough to balance but you don’t want to seem like you can’t do without the lifestyle he grants you. Remember, you are accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. Men like feeling like protectors, especially wealthy men. So stroke that big fat ego and let him think it. When he misbehaves, adjust accordingly. 

Lesson 8: If all else fails, create/channel an alter-ego. It sounds somewhat extreme but I have one. I created a whole new persona for myself. When I first started out four plus years ago, I appeared too innocent. And that was my biggest weakness. My naivete showed and definitely I was taken advantage of and cheated but I learned. FAST. Soon after, I stopped telling men I was inexperienced. I stopped allowing myself to appear innocent. I became a chameleon.The person I am with sugar daddies/ on pot dates is completely different from the girl I am at home/school/work/with friends. With these men, I am a worldly, experienced WOMAN. I am used to ultra-luxury and deserve nothing but the best. Of course at home/elsewhere, I am a girl/ nursing student who studies a bit too much, curses a bit too much, enjoys being wild with friends and plans on attending medical school to become a psychiatrist. Find what works for you and channel her. We all have inner goddesses and seductresses in us. 

Lesson 9: “Be nice, be nice. Until it’s time to stop being nice…" Okay, this sounds psycho meets fatal-attraction-esque but no worries! know when to curse a  pompous, disrespectful son of a bitch out. Seriously, know when to walk away. Channel your inner Cleopatra/Bitchery and crush his ass. Do not be afraid to stomp an arrogant asshole out of existence (figuratively of course). I don’t care but no amount of money is worth being disrespected. If you allow a man to disrespect and treat you like a common commodity, he will not stick around for long. He will use, abuse, and break you. And frankly, You DO NOT deserve that. If he calls you a racial slur ( and claims it’s a joke, LIES), forces himself on you, disrespects you in anyway hurtful and dehumanizing, among other things, WALK THE FUCK AWAY and report the incident to authorities if the action warrants it. And let your middle finger do the rest of the talking. 

**All in all, I hope this helps someone out here. Remember, what works for one person make not work for you. But you can still learn from others around you** And that my friends, is the most important lesson of all.

xoxo

M

My Somber Heart

Summary: Trying to hide a vulnerable moment from your longtime crush, Bucky Barnes.

Characters/Relationships: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Heartbroken angst; mentions of cheating; crying; fluff

A/N: This is my entry for @wanderlustingandwandering‘s 800 Follower Celebration Writing Challenge. Seriously guys, go follow Allie. She’s the absolute best and I loved doing this one-shot for her. 

My prompts were: “I am NOT crying!”, “I’m glad I cried all my makeup off”, and “and they say romance is dead”. 

Masterlist

Originally posted by dailyevanstan

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Acting - Dylan O’Brien (Smut)

Song: Alessia Cara - Wild Things

Rating: MA (17+ for Explicit Content)

Pairing: Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Word Count: 3,191

Warning: Exhibitionism(sort of), Oral (M>F), NSFW

NO LONGER TAKING REQUESTS!

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ong seongwoo|enemies to lovers

Originally posted by lallainex91

member: ong seongwoo
genre: fluffy w a lil bit of angst
warnings: sexual harassment 
summary: school au! enemies to lovers au! you and seongwoo have always been secretly in love with each other but it’s always been hidden by endless pranks and teasing. one night, one closet and one confession will change everything.
requested: yes
enemies to lovers series: bae jinyoung | ong seongwoo | park jihoon | | kim jaehwan


  • you were known to be one of the most popular girls in the grade
  • you were sweet, sassy, confident, witty, gorgeous and just outgoing and friendly
  • surprisingly you used to be super shy in middle school but with your amazing best friend kang daniel you became much more social 
  • but even though you were known as a super sweet girl everyone knew you hated one person
  • he was the cockiest, most annoying and ridiculously good looking person you’ve ever met
  • ong seongwoo
  • he was one the most popular guys, funny, confident, hot, made everyone laugh, party animal, jock and was basically liked by everyone except you
  • and don’t get me wrong he hated you too
  • but that didn’t stop everyone in the whole entire school to ship you
  • especially your and his best friend daniel
  • “seriously y/n, when are you and seongwoo going to get together??” he’d say literally on a daily basis
  • go daniel the cupid!! lol tf is wrong with me
  • everyone would always say
  • “you guys would be the golden couple!”
  • “actually 2nd golden couple, you could never beat daehwi and jinyoung”
  • “no but actually you would look so good together”
  • “and the sexual chemistry between you is ridiculous”
  • you’d dismiss the comments and just roll your eyes 
  • but you couldn’t lie to yourself
  • you liked him a lot but you’d never admit it in a 100 years
  • you couldn’t help but smile sweetly at the incident which started the feud between you two 
  • which of course was when you fell for him
  • seongwoo was dared to pour a whole entire bucket of water on you by jaehwan because all his friends knew seongwoo had the biggest crush on you you didn’t know he had a crush on you tho
  • seongwoo as much as he liked you would never step down from a dare
  • so he did it
  • just as you were entering the cafeteria he poured a whole entire huge bucket of water all over you 
  • he was expecting you to slap him, or get super pissed
  • to his amazement and surprise you didn’t 
  • you felt the rush of water and you could tell by the laugh it was seongwoo
  • and you smiled to yourself knowing if you got pissed that means he would get the satisfaction
  • so instead you turned back to face him just to give a smirk and a raise of your eyebrow and then you screamed out
  • “WATER FIGHT!!!!!”
  • and it was a hot summer’s day so literally the cafeteria went into absolute chaos
  • people got their water bottles, cups, someone even got a hose
  • and water was everywhere, with people running around and screaming 
  • it was one of the best lunches even afternoon classes got cancelled because literally everyone was soaked head to toe even the teachers
  • and the cafeteria was basically just looked like it was in a flood
  • just as the water fight started, you filled up the bucket he used on you 
  • and seongwoo was just in awe of you of turning this whole entire thing on him
  • you walked up to him still drenched and with the same exact bucket he poured water on you, you poured it on him
  • he couldn’t help but smile brightly as you did thinking
  • “shit this one hell of a girl”
  • and you were smiling the whole time 
  • you couldn’t help yourself but admire his smile, his joking casual attitude, and him wanting to make people smile
  • but you also thought he’s such a cocky jerk but you knew 
  • as you were pouring water all over him and he was grinning happily
  • you were gonna fall for him
  • and oh boy did you 
  • and then as the last droplet landed on him
  • you whispered in his ear “better luck next time”
  • you winked at him and walked off 
  • luckily he didn’t see your super red blush and couldn’t hear your racing heart
  • he also was trying to stop his ears from going bright red and to stop smiling the goofy adorable smile he knew he had on his face
  • he stared at you the whole time as you walked away from him
  • but for the grande finale you rang the fire alarm in the cafeteria making the sprinklers go off 
  • then you just strutted out there like the boss ass bitch you were
  • and seongwoo literally fell so in love with you right there and then 
  • he knew he could never meet someone like you ever in his whole entire lifetime
  • someone finally outsmarted the great ong seongwoo
  • and he finally fell for someone
  • but that was like 6 months ago
  • in those 6 months you turned into enemies who secretly loved each other
  • seongwoo would do ANYTHING to get your attention
  • which usually meant annoying the shit out of you 
  • and constantly be super competitive 
  • but you couldn’t help but love it, any interaction with him made your heart flutter 
  • but literally in every test, exam, sports competition
  • you both would always be 1st or 2nd
  • and the bragging rights were huge 
  • “yah! y/n i ranked 1st in maths and guess where you are 2ndddd” he’d tease as the score sheet was up
  • “oh shut up, i beat you in english”
  • “and remember last week, aren’t you supposed to be in the soccer team?? how come i beat your team when we were playing soccer in sport??” you retorted
  • both of you stayed silent for a few moments thinking of that lesson
  • basically what happened was seongwoo was getting jealous at one of the guys, xiumin being too close to you
  • and he literally “accidentally” bumped into him super hard making xiumin fall
  • but he didn’t apologise and left him there making you super pissed off
  • after you helped him up and he told you he was fine
  • you stormed up to seongwoo and demanded
  • “apologise! you literally made him fall!!”
  • “why the hell should I?” he cockily remarked back
  • you stepped closer to him making people not sure whether you were gonna slap him or kiss him
  • you getting more aggravated basically shouted 
  • “GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE AND APOLOGISE!”
  • he scoffed at your remark making you want to strangle him and stepping so close to you your noses were touching and said 
  • “sweetheart, make me”
  • everyone was just staring at you two, the sexual tension was so thick literally no one said a thing
  • you were glaring daggers at him while he was casually smirking
  • then you sickly sweetly smiled at him and stepped on his foot super hard
  • and said “whoopsie”
  • you walked off as he was groaning in pain clutching his foot
  • these sort of incidents happened between you two
  • and everyone could see the sexual chemistry between you two shipping you two all the time
  • but all the hatred, teasing, snide comments stopped one night
  • you were both at a party, you weren’t really enjoying it 
  • feeling super duper jealous as you saw seongwoo dancing with at least 3 girls
  • minhyun noticed and said to you “yah y/n stop staring at seongwoo, you’re making it so obvious that you like him”
  • “i don’t like him minhyun-ah” you said with a sigh
  • “mhmmm sureee keep telling yourself that” sungwoon butted in sassily
  • “just make him jealous y/n he’ll be all over you in seconds” drawled jaehwan
  • “dance with woojin then, sexily of course” daniel said with a teasing wink
  • “all of you just stoppppp” you groaned
  • “jisung help me out here??” you pleaded at jisung
  • “as much i hate to admit, i agree with the boys” he said raising his hands up in surrender
  • you huffed and puffed and then said fine
  • you went up to woojin who was dancing in the centre of the dance floor
  • and you told him that you were trying to make seongwoo jealous so is it okay if you danced with him
  • luckily you guys were good friends but 
  • he still blushed so hard at first then shyly agreed
  • but once you were both dancing it just became a lot of fun
  • and of course seongwoo couldn’t help but get jealous and stare at you two
  • then the guys moved to him
  • enjoying making you two squirm
  • “seongwoo stop making it so obvious you’re jealous” sungwoon teasingly said
  • “ME?! jealous of y/n and woojin?? no way in hell would that happen” he denied outright
  • “seongwoo even me, i can tell you’re basically in love with her” jisung said exasperatedly 
  • “seriously though when are you going to ask her out” minhyun asked
  • seongwoo just sighed and gave up lying to them and said
  • “gosh i like her so much, it’s crazy, i’d do anything to get her attention, i have literally gone on no dates for 6 months, she’s perfect but she’d never like me, she probably hates my guts” he ended dejectedly
  • literally everybody rolled their eyes at that
  • “HOW IS IT THAT YOU DON’T REALISE SHE’S ALSO MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU??!!” daniel exclaimed throwing his hands in the air and then dramatically falling back onto the floor
  • “she’s doesn’t like me at all she hates my guts?” seongwoo said confused 
  • “okay hyung, look at y/n dancing with woojin right now, that’s to make you jealous okay? and you can tell by the way she’s literally looking at you every 5 seconds to make sure you’re watching” jihoon said slowly trying to explain to seongwoo 
  • seongwoo scoffed at first but then he noticed what jihoon said was right, you kept looking at him to make sure he was looking at you dancing
  • he started to grin broader and broader
  • as he realised what the guys were saying were right
  • he literally felt like doing the biggest happy dance 
  • he felt he was on the top of the world as he realised you liked him as well
  • on the other hand
  • you couldn’t help but blush at his intense gaze on you and the way he was smiling was making your heart melt
  • you excused yourself to woojin saying you were going to get a drink so you could calm and collect yourself
  • you headed upstairs and as you were relaxing in front of a door 
  • someone grabbed your wrist super tight and wrapped a hand around your mouth 
  • harshly pulling you into a small closet
  • your eyes meet some random man trying to kiss you
  • you could smell the alcohol in his breath 
  • you tried to get out of the closet but realised it was locked
  • your instincts kicked in and you started kicking and hitting and screaming for help
  • he restrained you and held you down making you feel desperate and helpless
  • after so much effort of getting him off you
  • screaming that he was a pedo and creep and to stop
  • he still tried to kiss you 
  • just as you were about to give up and let him kiss you 
  • the closet door flung right open
  • it was seongwoo
  • he saw you walk up the stairs and thought to leave you to be for a while before confessing but after 10 minutes he got worried
  • he knew there were a lot of drunk guys around and hoped nothing bad happened to you 
  • he went upstairs and found guanlin on his phone and asked him super concerned 
  • “guanlin-ah did you see y/n??!”
  • “no sorry hyung, i came up just like 2 minutes ago” guanlin said 
  • seongwoo than frantically tried to find you, going from room to room 
  • then he heard the banging from a closet
  • he then heard you scream 
  • and all he saw was red after
  • you couldn’t help but relax as you saw seongwoo
  • the guy gruffly said “get the hell out”
  • seongwoo said in a voice which was dangerously low
  • “you have 3 seconds to get your fucking filthy hands off the girl i love before i beat the crap out of you, 1, 2, 3″
  • the guy still hadn’t moved
  • he was basically ripped off from you then seongwoo got one punch in
  • before the guy scrambled out and slammed the closet door shut
  • you both realised you guys couldn’t get out but didn’t really care anymore just glad that it was all over
  • you relaxed as the guy wasn’t in your sight anymore
  • then you tried to process everything especially
  • the girl i love bit
  • but before you could say anything
  • two muscular arms wrapped around you super tight
  • you felt so warm and safe in seongwoo’s arms
  • he whispered into your ears “i was so worried about you”
  • your heart flutters as you hear the sincerity and concern in his voice
  • “thank you for saving me” you said your voice slightly trembling
  • still traumatised from the incident
  • “of course, don’t worry now, i’m here okay?” he said sweetly
  • “okay” you say sighing in relief
  • for a few minutes you just stood there just hugging each other
  • you eventually break apart and you couldn’t help but say 
  • “the girl you love huh?”
  • “i never said that” seongwoo denied adamantly 
  • “say it againnn” you tease 
  • “say what again?” he asks pretending to be clueless 
  • “that you love me” you say with a smirk you say stepping super close to him
  • you both stared intently into each others eyes and seongwoo’s eyes kept on flittering to your lips back to your eyes
  • making your heart beat faster than it ever has
  • seongwoo not even registering what he was doing 
  • softly kissed you at first in a way like asking your permission
  • and allowing you to break apart
  • you didn’t want that at all and you deepened the kiss 
  • he reciprocated almost immediately 
  • as it continues it continuously became more passionate
  • all the sexual chemistry between you basically exploded
  • you ran your hands through his hair
  • and he couldn’t help himself but fall in love even more as you kept on smiling as you kissed him
  • but as the kisses became more passionate
  • he’d bite your lips softly making you moan softly
  • he’d trail kisses all the way down to your collarbone
  • making you arch your back slightly
  • then he’d recapture your lips and kiss you over and over again 
  • you both end up making out for a solid 10 minutes
  • as you parted, seongwoo wore the cheekiest smile
  • you scolded him but you couldn’t help but smile
  • “wipe that smirk off your face ong seongwoo”
  • “yes dear’ he’d teasingly coo
  • you rolled your eyes
  • you guys ended up getting out of the closet by you picking the lock with a bobby pin
  • without saying goodbye to anyone, you grabbed your stuff and headed to seongwoo’s house
  • both your parents were out of town 
  • so you just stayed at his place for the night 
  • stop thinking so dirty no they did not do it
  • just because you were still scared at the incident of tonight
  • and seongwoo wanted to make sure you were okay
  • seongwoo gave you one go his t-shirts to change into and it was a simple loose black t shirt 
  • you went to seongwoo and twirled around and asked
  • “do i look okay?” 
  • seongwoo just cheekily smiled and couldn’t help but rush up to you and kiss you sweetly because of how good you looked in his shirt
  • and whispered
  • “you look perfect, you’ve always been perfect to me and you are the perfect girl for me”
  • “y/n will you be my girlfriend?”
  • he ended with a sweet forehead kiss and you nod and sweetly reply 
  • “as cheesy as it sounds i’ve basically been in love with you for the past 6 months so of course i will”
  • he’d kiss you softly after you said yes both of you grinning like you won the lottery 
  • you both end up talking for hours, eating junk food, while cuddling and 
  • laughing about how you hated each other and constantly teased each other and all the small arguments you guys had
  • after talking about the most random little things to the deepest secrets you’ve never revealed 
  • laughing you head off or teasingly arguing with each other 
  • you both were super exhausted
  • and you then ended up falling asleep in your favourite place in the world
  • in seongwoo’s arms
  • once you went to sleep seongwoo smiled at you in a way someone could if they were in love and before he passed out himself 
  • he whispered sweetly in your ear
  • sweet dreams, y/n, i love you”

THIS WAS A BLESSING TO WRITE!!! i love seongwoo so much he’s my bw and just AGH FEELS!!! also this was super rushed so whoops sorry. i hope the sexual harassment wasn’t too much and the makeout sesh you enjoyed ;) I’M ALSO TAGGING @starrywinters SO I CAN RUIN HER BIAS LIST and we will fangirl over how much we love seongwoo and how we’re unloyal hoes. Y’ALL SHOULD FOLLOW HER she has amazing fics

anyways hope you enjoyed it!!! love you all, message me and send me anons!

jiminniemouse  asked:

best friend jungkook ;-) 1 & 8

Irresistible (M)

Say that again you little shit, and see what happens…” + “You think I can’t resist you? Because I can…”

Word Count: 3,048 (oops)

Warning(s): Smutty smut smut

A/N: Here you go @jiminniemouse aka old perv! This was supposed to be a short drabble but I couldn’t contain my dirty mind sorry everyone (but also you’re welcome)




“Jungkook, would you please shut your damn phone off? It’s going off like a fucking fire alarm!” You yell, ripping your earphones off. He was sprawled on your couch, one hand rested under his head and the other holding his phone to his face. His gaze was fixated on the dimly lit screen of his cellphone with a lazy smirk on his face.

“I can’t help it Y/N~” He hums.

You roll your eyes. “Put it on silent, I’m trying to study here.”

You don’t even know why he was crashing here at your place on a Friday night. Usually he’s out and about, partying with friends and trying to get laid like the horny little kid he is.

“I don’t like doing that, I need to leave the notifications on or it’ll bug me.” The phone is still continuously going off, a high pitched ding! literally every 5 seconds.

“If you don’t want to play by my rules then get out of my apartment.”

You hear an exaggerated gasp from behind you. “You’d kick out your best friend? In the pouring rain?! I thought I meant more to you Y/N.”

You swirl around in your chair to face him with a glare. “Yes cause you’re being a brat! Why are you even here? Don’t you have a party or somewhere to go?”

“I mean yeah, that’s what all these texts are. All these girls are inviting me over to Namjoon hyung’s party.”

“Then why don’t you go so I can study in peace?”

He sits up, tossing the phone to the side as he clasps his hands together in front of him, then lets out a dramatic sigh. “Every girl wants me, you saw from the texts. When it’s too easy it’s boring.” He brings his face to his hands, pinching at his nose bridge as his eyebrows crinkle in distress. “Why am I so irresistible?”

You can’t help but release a loud snort, followed by uncontrollable laughter. He jumps in his seat and turns to you with wide eyes. “What’s so funny?”

You hold your sides and wipe your tears, still laughing at his statement. “Every girl wants you? In your dreams, kid.”

He jumps up from his seat. “It’s true! Name any girl from school Y/N. Any. They’ve either flirted with me or went straight for Jeon-but-not-so-Jr. here,” Pointing at his crotch.

You snort again, swirling back to your work. “The only thing that’s big about you is your ego.”

You didn’t see it but you knew his jaw dropped at the moment you said that. Cue the snarky narcissistic comeback in 3…2…1…

“Excuse you? You haven’t even seen it yet! Trust me Y/N you’d be down on your knees the moment you laid eyes on the prize.”

You chuckle at his response,

“You think I can’t resist you? Because I can.”

 

You continue to jot down notes as silence fills the room.

Finally, you thought to yourself, that shut the brat up.

All of a sudden you’re engulfed in muscly arms and your back is pressed into the seat.

“Just cause we’re best friends babe doesn’t mean I can’t get you riled up until you’re begging me for more,” He whispers huskily in your ear.

Heat rises to your face and you shove his arms away. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, brat?”

He grabs hold of the seat and swirls you around, arms supporting his sculpted figure as he leans closer until his face is inches from yours.

Say that again you little shit, and see what happens.”

 

You feel as though an electric shock courses through your body, the adrenaline pumping from the close contact and how he says his little threat. You take a good look at his facial features, your eyes gazing over every inch of his flawless face. Your eyes wonder down more to his jutting collarbone, the sense of temptation washing over you of wanting to know how his flesh would taste as you lick your lips.

You did find him attractive; since the first time you met him actually. You had the biggest crush on Jungkook but after knowing how cocky he was about himself and being younger than you, you brushed off those feelings quickly because you didn’t want to deal with a work load. But that doesn’t mean you’ve never wondered how good those rosy lips of his would feel against yours, or how his fingers would caress every inch of your body or even how he would make you feel during a lust filled night of passion.

You would kill yourself if you ever spoke those words aloud though.

You quickly came back to your senses, glaring back at him. You couldn’t let this boy drag you down as if he had all the power in the world. You leaned in closer, noses brushing along each other’s.

“You’re a brat.”

The second you finish your sentence your breath is knocked out of you, lips crashing wildly into yours. You would have fell backwards from the force if it wasn’t for the back of the chair but your head was harshly shoved into it as Jungkook ravished your cavern.

You whimper, using all your might to shove him away from you but his chest wouldn’t budge. He kept his lips locked onto yours, biting and sucking and letting out low, sexy grunts that involuntarily made your panties dampen more as each second passes by.

As much as you tried to keep yourself in denial, you can’t help but start reciprocating and mirror his ministrations, jutting your tongue out to fight for dominance. Your wet muscles are synchronizing into a rough and needy sequence, and with one particular rough suck from his lips catching the tip of your tongue you moan aloud.

He releases you and pulls back, a cocky smirk formed on his glistening mouth.

You cover your mouth quickly, “N-no! That wasn’t- well it’s just-“

He chuckles, getting down to his knees as he spreads your legs open. Grabbing ahold of your thighs, he drags you downward so you’re slumped in the seat, “Mmhmmm.”

“What are you do- Oh!”

He cups your crotch over the thin fabric of your sleeping shorts, his thumb rubbing hard circles onto your clit. You cover your mouth again, squirming in the seat as you try your hardest not to let out a peep.

“After this babe you’re for sure going to remember my name,” He says as he peppers kisses into your inner thighs.

You let out a muffled moan, your lower half bucking up from his unexpected touch. Your pride of not giving in was wearing thin. He grabs the hem of your shorts and peels it right off, his face so close to your heat that you can feel his hot pants.

He slides a finger down your slit, “Shit, why are you so drenched already?”

You refuse to comment back because you didn’t trust your voice at the moment so you stayed silent. He looks back up to you with a devilish smirk, then presses onto your nub once more.

You squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to give into his egotistical ass that he could get every girl he wanted. He chuckled, “Y/N, give up. You can’t resist me.”

Before you could say anything a finger plunges right into your core, brushing against an area so delightful that your eyes rolled back. You gripped the hand rests, biting onto your bottom lip to the point where your skin broke as he fingers you so precisely and so good that you involuntarily lean closer into his touch. He adds another digit, loud squelches filling the room as the chair thuds against the table and you cling onto the last strands of sanity you have left to offer within you.

But what you didn’t expect was for him to bring those soft lips into the equation, his tongue lapping over your bundle of nerves before sucking harshly on your clit.

“JUNGKOOK!” You cry out, nails digging into the arm rests as you slump further down into the seat to buck into his mouth again, anything to get him to go deeper and faster.

“That’s it sweetheart,” He says as he laps your folds, “Say my name again.”

You threw all your pride out the window, lust blinding your senses and grabbing a fistful of his hair as he draws figure eights with his tongue on your folds.

“Ju- Ahh, Jungkook,” you mewl.

“Mmm, you taste like fucking heaven. I can’t believe you’ve kept this to yourself, you should have let me known how sweet you were and I would have done this ages ago.”

He keeps plunging his fingers deeper into you, his tongue not letting up even for a second as he tries to catch every ounce of your nectar in his mouth. You’re a moaning mess, eyes clenched tightly shut as you try to remember all the sensations that he’s making you feel.

You hear a series of low grunts and what even sounds like faint whimpers and slowly open your eyes. You look down and let out an even needier moan from what you see, your core igniting at an even faster rate.

Jungkook is on his knees, eating you out like it’s his last meal and his fingers pumping at a constant rapid pace. His other hand is snaked down into his pants, roughly rubbing and squeezing at his growing erection. Every moan that you let out he tugs faster at himself, releasing another small whimper that he probably thinks you can’t hear but oh you definitely do.

As much as you didn’t want him to stop, you sit up and push his face away from you. He releases you and looks up in confusion, “What’s wrong?”

His chin and lips are drenched in your translucent essence and just seeing him like that on his knees with his hand down his pants got you groaning in more frustration.

You get up from the seat and pull him up then push him down to lay on the sofa. You straddle him, facing away from his face.

“Hey, what are you- fuck!” You palm his erection through his jeans, unbuttoning them and moving his boxers over. His cock springs out, standing tall as you look at it in surprise.

Shit, it is pretty big. Good thing you were faced away from him or else he would have given you so much shit for doubting him earlier. You grab the base of his cock, pumping slowly as you stare in awe that it’s actually getting bigger than it is now. You lick your lips, bending downward to place a quick peck on the tip.

“Fuck, Y/N please, baby ahh-“

You swirl your tongue around the top as you continue to pump, sucking lightly on the tip.

“Stop teasing me babe, just fucking do it already.” He groans, gripping your ass.

You turn your head back to him, pushing your lower body back more as you situate yourself to align your core to hover over his mouth. “You think I’m just going to give you what you want? Bad news brat but you gotta work for it. I’m not like your other girls,” You say, giving him a wink.

His eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly replaces his facial features with his signature smirk. He takes a hold of your thighs and spreads them further, causing your core to sink down straight onto his open mouth. He doesn’t even spare a second as he buries his tongue deep into your dripping core.

You throw your head back, crying aloud as he keeps and iron-glad grip onto your thighs. You let out a mangled moan because he’s just ravaging every inch of you that he can reach. You turn back and sink your mouth onto his thick member, taking him in inch by inch until he reaches the back of your throat.

He moans into you, the vibrations making you buck your hips back into his face. You pump whatever else you can’t fit, starting a steady rhythm as your tongue runs along every nerve. You sink down again, hollowing your cheeks as you suck harshly. He bucks his hips upward, causing you to gag around him and he cries your name aloud.

“Y/N, f-fuck, do that again.” You blink the tears away as you try your best to take him all in again, hands keeping his hips in place as you suck harshly on him again. He releases a mangled moan, nails digging into the flesh of your thighs as you repeat your technique again and again.

He’s moaning your name like a mantra, his ministrations getting sloppier as the seconds go by. He brings his thumb to your bundle of nerves again, rubbing fiercely as he buries his tongue into you in attempts to let you go first before he does. You let go of him with a pop, eyes rolling to the back of your head as this euphoric feeling washes over you.

You start roughly grinding your hips down onto his face, “JUNGKOOK! Jungkook…Fuck, shit, fuck, oh my god don’t stop-“

He groans, then rubs you harder than ever before. You’re screaming his name at the top of your lungs right now, sobbing as you chase your release that’s oh so close and with one, two, three more harsh rubs you come undone. Jungkook’s jaw slacks, allowing you to ride out all the waves of your high as he tries to catch all of your sweet release. You’re shaking as you continue to ride his face, his tongue lapping up all of you until finally you come back to reality.

You sigh in content, moaning as you lift yourself off of him so he could finally breathe properly. He hums, bringing his hand to your core once more causing you to shiver. You turn to see him licking his lips and sucking on one of his fingertips, grunting so fucking good as he pants for air.

You unstraddle him, pulling him upward in the process so that he’s sitting on the sofa. Before he can ask anything you’re dropping to your knees, opening his legs as you grab the base of his neglected cock. You sink your mouth all the way down on him, his hands instantly finding your hair for purchase as he moans aloud. Your other hand plays with his balls while you pump him and suck whatever you can fit inside your mouth.

You feel him throbbing more and his fingernails are basically digging into your scalp as he lets out a series of profanities with your name in the mix. You release him with a loud pop then use your hand to pump him as quickly and as fast as you can. You watch his facial features squirm as his jaw clenches, his hands tightly grasping the end of the couch.

“Come on, Kookie. Come for Noona,” You knew he secretly liked calling people that name and that would do the trick.

He finally lets out one long, drawn out moan and releases himself all over his thighs and your hand, white hot spurts painting a good picture on his lower half. You keep going until the oversensitivity hits, then he lets out a small Mm, baby stop. You bring your hand up to your lips, getting a quick taste of his bitter release. You grab a tissue from the table and quickly wipe him off, still panting from this unexpected session.

He thanks you and places a quick peck on your lips, then grabs the blanket to cover you two up on the sofa. You rest your head on his chest, rubbing circles on his hand that’s resting on your thigh.

“Well, didn’t expect this to ever really happen,” You chuckle.

Jungkook pulls you closer to him, leaving a chaste kiss on your temple. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for ages.

You turn to face him. “What? Really?! What about all those girls who are after you?”

His cheeks turn a light pink. “Well, they were kind of not girls butactuallyjiminandtaehelpingmemakeyoujealous.”

Your jaw drops, then you go and take a look at the messages from his phone.

200 new messages from “Slut Line”

[9:43 pm] Jimin: yuavbsajkl

[9:44 pm] Tae: Beep boop

[9:46 pm] Jimin: Where’d you leave the remote Kook

[9:48 pm] Tae: I’m awesome

[9:48 pm] Jimin: I’m bored

[9:54 pm] Tae: What should I eat for dinner

[10:10 pm] Jimin: Dude how does Tae manage to burn ramen

[10:11 pm] Tae: Fuck I burned the ramen again

[10:20 pm] Jimin: You suck

[10:21 pm] Tae: Speaking of sucking

[10:21 pm] Tae: Is Y/N sucking your dick yet

[10:25 pm] Jimin: Why do we have to do this again for you?

[10:26 pm] Tae: Omg she is isn’t she

[10:26 pm] Jimin: Can’t you just tell her you like her it’s obvious she does too

1 new message from Tae

[10:28 pm] Tae: If you don’t reply in 5 minutes I’m telling everyone she is

5 new messages from “Bangtan full-of-Shityeondan”

[10:33 pm] Namjoon: Wow I’m never letting her touch me again

[10:33 pm] Jimin: DID SHE REALLY

[10:33 pm] Hoseok: GETTTTT ITTTTTTTT BOI

[10:33 pm] Yoongi: I hope you lasted longer than this sentence

[10:34 pm] Jin: coME HOME nOW

[10:35 pm] Tae: I told everyone

You toss his phone on his lap and groan, covering your face in your hands. “Oh my god they know.”

Jungkook chuckles, snuggling himself closer into you. “It’s fine. I’ll tell them how good you are and how deep you could-“

You smack him in the back of the head, making him yelp in pain. “Don’t you dare or I’m really going to kick you out here.”

“Okay, Okay.” He groans. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?”

You look at him surprised, not really expecting him to ask such a thing.

“What? I’m yours now. Well actually I’ve always been. Will you be mine?”

Your cheeks heat up and your face is probably as red as a tomato. You smack him on the head again, making him yell. “What was that for?!”

“For being a cheesy brat. Of course I’m yours.”


NEW DIRECTION

How Louis Tomlinson survived the break-up of the world’s biggest boy band and became his own man

The Observer Magazine 25 Jun 2017

Photographs ALEX BRAMALL Fashion editor HELEN SEAMONS

Coming out of a dissolving boy band must be a bit like being an entrant in one of those dystopian jungle fights –a Hunger Games- style event in which bandmates are scattered across an unknown terrain and challenged to slog their lonely route back to fame. Justin Timberlake, after NSync, enjoyed the unsporting edge of natural talent and crushed his former colleagues. Robbie Williams looked supreme in the Take That scrimmage, at least until Gary Barlow circled back, gathered up the other three, and made the fight a more compelling four- on- one. By the time One Direction announced they were to go on indefinite hiatus in 2015, many of us were familiar enough with the conventions of boy-band bloodsport to start picking favourites for the coming melee.

Harry Styles – charming, a grinner – was best placed to succeed on his own. Big-lunged Zayn Malik was already out of the band by that time and had used his head start to good effect, preparing a solo album that went to No 1. Liam Payne and Niall Horan – always second-tier members – were given middling chances. And ranked last in any serious analysis, the most fitfully appreciated member of One Direction, was Louis Tomlinson. Here was a combatant you might expect to find curled up in a fox hole on the battlefield, pale and chain-smoking.

It is in roughly this position I find the 25-yearold, one afternoon earlier this summer. Slender, tracksuited, a little wan under his manicured facial hair, Tomlinson sits on a garden bench outside the photographer’s studio and rewards himself with an entire pack of cigarettes. “I know, I know,” he says of the smoking. “It’s not great. But there’s so much hurry-up-and-wait in this job. It helps me get ready to go again.”

I’ve often wondered why the fringe members of boy bands do this to themselves. Why they gather themselves to “go again”. As Tomlinson acknowledges, in One Direction he was seen by some as “forgettable, to a certain degree”. “The others have always been… Like Niall, for example. He’s the most lovely guy in the world. Happy-go-lucky Irish, no sense of arrogance. And he’s fearless. There are times I’ve thought: ‘I’d have a bit of that.’ Zayn, back in the day. He could relate to me on a nerves level. In the first year we were both the least confident. But Zayn has a fantastic voice and for him it was always about owning that. Liam always had a good stage presence, same as Harry, they’ve both got that ownership. Harry comes across very cool. Liam’s all about getting the crowd going, doing a bit of dancing…” And then there’s you. “And then there’s me.” Tracks from Tomlinson’s solo record have been playing inside the studio. They’re modest, rather lovely pop songs that in their quiet way seem to acknowledge his underdog status. Tomlinson lights another cig. “You know I didn’t sing a single solo on the X Factor,” he says, recalling the time back in 2010, when One Direction were first put together as a band on the ITV reality show. “A lot of people can take the piss out of that. But when you actually think about how that feels, standing on stage every single week, thinking: ‘What have I really done to contribute here? Sing a lower harmony that you can’t really hear in the mix?” He guesses, smiling wryly, that in those months he was best known as “The kid wearing espadrilles, stood in’t back.”

Not the best singer, not the high-energy guy, not the dude, Tomlinson discovered he was the one in the band who was most tuned into backstage logistics – the one who paid attention when “the 20th approval form” was passed around for a signature. “And if there was any bad news that needed giving to the label I’d always be designated to have the argument.” Later this would lead to Tomlinson founding a small record label of his own, Triple String, and to starting a side project managing a girl band. In his day job with One Direction, meanwhile, he toured the world, released five albums and amassed a large, equal-parts fortune like the rest of the boys. Somewhere en route, Tomlinson says, he found his feet as a performer. “In the last year of One Direction I was probably the most confident I ever was. And then it was: ‘OK, hiatus!’”

Tomlinson argued against it, he says, when the band first sat down to discuss separation. “It wasn’t necessarily a nice conversation. I could see where it was going.” Tomlinson remembers his instinctive assumption being simple. He would step away – try writing for other people, keep his label going, wait the “two years, five years, whatever it be” until One Direction reformed. “If you’d asked me a year or 18 months ago: ‘Are you going to do anything as a solo artist?’ I’d have said absolutely not.”

What changed? If the management stuff made you happy, I say, why not sit back and focus on that? “But then I’d be conceding,” he says. Conceding to who? To what? He waves his hand in the air. He could mean anything:

Niall is the most lovely guy, Zayn has the voice, Harry is very cool, Liam gets the crowd going… And then there’s me

I honestly think they’ll write books about One Direction fans. They are so fanatical. The intensity. It’s remarkable

history, bandmates, doubters, the press. Tomlinson is quiet for a while and eventually says: “I’m trying to work out why it is that I’m [doing this], now that you’ve asked that question.” He fidgets and trials a few answers that run out of steam. “It’s frustrating, because I know what I want to say and I can’t articulate it.” He pats for his lighter. The odds are against this tilt, Tomlinson seems to understand. But as we start to talk through his reasons for at least trying, I find myself hoping that this Last Directioner makes an unlikely go of it after all.

pop industry has an ineREASON ONE . TH E luctable momentum, and the star who begins something ( like a skier inching off a hilltop) can quickly find themselves bound to ride out whatever thrills and trials comes next. Tomlinson gives the example of how he first became famous. Born in Doncaster in 1991 he was raised by his mother, Johannah Deakin, and later also by her new partner Mark Tomlinson. He was 16 when he went to his first X

Factor audition. Prompt rebuff. A year later he made it into the audition process, but still nowhere near the part where ambitious young singers are briskly embraced or condemned by that great gatekeeper of celebrity, Simon Cowell. In 2010 Tomlinson, twice unlucky, gave the auditions a final try.

“I told myself I’ve just got to get to Simon, get his opinion, that’s all my ambition was. Then all of a sudden everything changed. To my friends in Doncaster I would always say [getting into the band] was the most incredible thing that happened to me. And it was. But it happened when I was already having the best year of my life. I was 17, 18, just started driving, didn’t need fake ID any more, going to house parties. That’s the time. That’s the age. And to a certain degree… ‘Having it taken away’ is the wrong phrase. But there was a price to pay.”

He says his current efforts as a soloist came about in similar fashion. In 2016, Tomlinson had become a father. (His son, Freddie, “who I love so much”, was born after a brief relationship with a Californian stylist called Briana Jungwirth.) He had some other personal matters to work through and in the summer he went on holiday to Las Vegas to blow off steam. At a club the American DJ Steve Aoiki was playing. Tomlinson, giddy with delight from Aoiki’s set, suggested to the DJ they try writing something together. In career terms, he had inched off the hill again, without necessarily considering the gradient of the slope.

A few months later, Tomlinson says, a single he’d written with Aoiki was being rolled out for release through One Direction’s old record label, Syco. Tomlinson was booked in to perform it on live TV. “And I was, like: ‘Did I really think this through?’”

Which leads Tomlinson to reason two. He’s well aware he was fast-tracked into his music career. That, as a part of One Direction, he was only a piece of a “heavy machine”. And as a self-aware northerner, from a proudly working class family, this has left Tomlinson with residual guilt to answer about wealth and status that do not feel to him fully earned. “And I know, I know it sounds ungrateful. But I think about a man, on a nine-to-five, working his arse off for six months so he can go to his family and say: ‘Guys, I’m taking you to Disneyland.’ That moment… I’ll never have that in my family life. And I’ve worked hard. But I’ve never worked hard, not like that.”

Tomlinson says he has already sweated more for this record than any before. When you’re putting together material as a soloist, he says, you quickly learn that those hot-shot collaborators who once dribbled to work with One Direction no longer pick up the phone

so readily. “I couldn’t say to you now that I could definitely get a superstar writer in a session with me. And I understand that.” Tomlinson adds, with no real vinegar: “Harry won’t struggle with any of that.”

In their One Direction days, no question, Styles got the most attention. But all the boys had their devotees and Tomlinson wants to prove to his own fans – reason three – that he’s been worth the backing all these years. “I honestly think they’ll write books about One Direction fans,” Tomlinson says. “Because they are so fanatical. The intensity. It’s remarkable.”

Tomlinson cannot talk about it with me, not without getting into muddy legal waters, but there was recently a difficult episode involving a small crowd of fans at an airport in LA. He was travelling with his partner, Eleanor Calder, who is viewed with some distrust by the fiercest corps of Louis fans. Video footage seems to show Calder being surrounded and attacked by a group of girls. Tomlinson, unable to discuss the matter, says to me more generally that he hopes his new music will reveal to fans a more complete version of himself than before. “Honestly, it’s crazy. It’s hard for a lot of people who are fanatical to believe that you are a real entity and a person.”

Which brings us to reason four. Reason four Tomlinson discusses with caution. Reason four he enshrouds with disclaimers: that it is not his intention to tell “a sob story”, that “I don’t like people feeling sorry for me”. Reason four concerns his mum.

Johannah Deakin was diagnosed with leukaemia in early 2016. Tomlinson had been worried his luck would run out; that having been “dealt that amazing hand” to squeak into the last berth in One Direction, he was due some sort of equalising blow. And he gives a bleak little laugh when he recalls where he was when the terrible phone call came. “At Jamie Vardy’s wedding of all places. Talk about your places, for something super-traumatic. My mum told me, uh, yeah, that she was definitely terminal.”

They were unusually close. He recalls how she was often one step ahead “because she had the password to my email”. It was an intimacy he attributes to them being close in age. “I remember the day I lost my virginity. I hadn’t even told any of my mates and I was, like: ‘Mum? I know this is really weird. But I’ve got to tell you…’ I remember thinking this is a bizarre conversation to be having with your mother. But it’s testament to how comfortable she made me.”

When Deakin died, in December 2016, Tomlinson was only days away from the live gig he’d agreed to do on the X Factor. “I remember saying to her: ‘Mum, how the fuck do you expect me to do this now?’ And she didn’t swear much, my mum. She’d always tell me off for swearing. And this time she was like: ‘You’ve got to fucking do it, it’s as simple as that.’ It was football manager, team talk stuff.’” The footage of Tomlinson’s performance that weekend is hard to watch. When he first appears on the X Factor stage he looks rigid, almost plastic, with grief. He’s clearly able to lose himself in the three-minute drama of a pop song. And after that the colour drains right back out of his face.

Tomlinson smokes for a bit. He says: “I’m not gonna claim this is all for me mum. But it was definitely… It was…”

He thinks. Throughout his life, he says, his mum always had greater belief in him than he did. “Sometimes my reservation, or my confidence, might have prevented me from doing something. And I’ve needed a mum in the past to kick me up the arse and go: ‘You’re doing it.’”

The boy bander has his reasons, then. “I’ve enjoyed this,” he says. “An opportunity to talk super openly. Not, y’know, answer questions about who my favourite superhero is. I don’t feel I get that many chances.”

The pile of cigarette butts in front of him has mounted to quite a height. Tomlinson, seeming to notice it for the first time, mutters: “Sorry. I’ve been chaining.” His mum hated smoking, he says. Then he smiles. “Though I remember she had the occasional cigarette herself.”

He taps his lighter on the table and asks what I make of everything he’s said. “Do you think your readers are still gonna wonder: ‘Why doesn’t he just not do it?’”

I’m not sure, I tell him, trying to be honest. But let’s see.

The day I lost my virginity, I hadn’t even told any of my mates, and I was, like: ‘Mum? I know this is weird but I’ve got to tell you…’

Louis’s new single ‘Back To You’ featuring Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals is coming soon

hunk headcanons bc i’m in a Mood(tm)
  • he is ur local pansexual 
  • he’s smart asf obviously but his best subject is chemistry!!! he loved doing the experiments in class bc he is a hands on learner (which is why he likes to build/work with machines 0:) and seeing the reactions and processes play out in front of him was always rlly cool!!! he misses doing chem labs 
    • also lance was his lab partner and sometimes they would fuck up experiments and make a mess but it was funny and they just got to talk about “source of errors” in their reports more extensively so it was fine lmfao 
  • he loves so easily and openly that’s not a headcanon that’s canon and i just wanted to point that out bc i love him wtf 
  • but he also doesn’t trust 100% easily!!!! he’s not like keith level wary but u do have to earn his trust. he is v good at sniffing out dishonesty & one of the traits he values the most in people is honesty and trustworthiness 
  • this is a lil contradictory bc we know canonically he is not the best at keeping secrets and can be a bit of a snoop, but he never does it with malice and is trying to work on it!!!
  • but ya he sucks at keeping secrets be careful what u tell a Hunk. it’s mostly cute ….if it’s something rlly serious and heavy tho, you can trust him not to tell a soul 
    • the secrets he kinda spills are more like: ‘one time in the 5th grade lance had a crush on this girl but he came to school sick and threw up on her shoes when he was trying to confess his feelings and i laughed and then threw up too’ ‘HUNK!’ 
  • similar to lance, he likes to be lighthearted and make jokes to help ppl feel better!!! this is also canon okay but i just. i love …….remember how he kinda is real casual about keith being galra and makes a few lil jokes to make him feel more at ease. ya, that’s our boy…..,,he !!!!!!
  • best hugs. 100000% a hunk hug can heal all wounds who needs a fucking healing pod am i right 
  • also the biggest platonic cuddler. he and lance would cuddle all the time back at the garrison (u can also take this as hance too bc Pure ™ but regardless he will cuddle everyone) like??? ur feeling sad ??? here come sleep in hunk’s room he will hold u !!!
  • shiro suggested he start journaling to help with his anxiety and it’s actually been rlly helpful!! he has also been opening up more to the team about his issues with anxiety and they have been v supportive!! his friends are always there for him when he has an anxiety attack. keith and lance esp know how to calm him down bc they are the closest to him. lots of physical reassurance and hey when did this turn into klunk idk but good stuff 
  • he used to be a tutor back at the garrison and was rlly helpful !!! hunk is a good teacher 
  • he is a heavy sleeper.  will sleep through an earthquake probably confirmed 
  • there are so many more but my brain is now fried so this is all for now but expect a part 2 sometime