i regret all of my stupid choices

We had an intense friendship
We had this connection from the start

that was different from anything
we ever experienced

We never crossed a line
but lines were infact
very blurred

We loved each other

We did

even though we didn’t
admit it was always there

Over the years the feelings
did slip in between weak moments
but he brushed it off
as that he was drunk

We dated people
Leaving us to feel
the jealousy swell inside

This went on for 4 years
until I cracked my heart open
one last time

and faced rejection

Making me accepted the fact
that we would be nothing more
than close friends that had a bond

To me it hurt
but was okay because even if I had
‘what if’s’ in the back of my mind
at least we were still best friends

Until he saw that I moved on
and realized that I was serious this time

Finally sinking in of what he
really lost and admitting everything

That he’s always wanted me
that he hates that he
missed his chance

That he was young
and stupid
and most of all

scared

It was a bittersweet moment
hearing the words
I had always dreamed about

But also knowing
it was too late
which hurt him deeply

leaving him to punish me for his regret

He will always have
a piece of my heart
and I do feel that ache
of what could have been

But I couldn’t wait around forever
for him to finally choose me

when he had always been my first choice

Leading me to make my own
choices and my own future

not waiting anymore
for it to be chose for me

He will always have
a piece of my heart
that will always be his

No matter how much
it still aches on rainy days

—  when time runs out || melindacarolinee
20.

“I just want it stated for the record,” Tony said, holding his hands up, “that I regret all of my choices. All of them. And if that’s going to be my obituary, I’m - fairly okay with that.” 

Steve looked up from the coffee table where he was sitting cross-legged, conscientiously responding to ever single wax-crayon decorated Valentines card from the sack Dummy had dragged in. Bucky did not look up. A lot of the cards had come with chocolates. 

“Everything okay, Tony?” Steve asked, concerned. 

“Never,” he responded, sauntering over to just behind where Bucky sat, “never make a bet with Barton. Never.” 

Bucky refused, okay, he refused to get stupid over a reference to the guy’s name. He jammed another salted caramel into his mouth. 

Steve blinked up at Tony. “Okay?”

Tony took a deep breath. “Well, Cap, it’s been real. We who are about to die salute you.” He managed a passable salute and then, before Bucky could react, ducked forward and pressed a tickly kiss against his cheek. Bucky let out a chocolate-muffled growl, and Tony darted backwards. 

“Clint says happy Valentines,” he yelped, “all debts are discharged, Jarvis has it on video.” 

Bucky turned back around and slumped down on the couch, blush as bright as a stupid crayon heart. 

some random iwaoimatsuhanas
  • oikawa loves taking baths!! even more so if one of his bfs are with him. they’re not into baths as much as oikawa tho and prefer showers but anything that makes him happy. oikawa has a huge collection of bath bombs and bath salts that he loves to use
  • iwa is about quick showers- 10 minutes max. he likes to save water and he never really understood people who took like 30 minutes in there. side eyes hanamaki. a certain someone, however, has a shower sex kink (side eyes hanamaki again) and sometimes iwa likes to indulge them
  • don’t ever let hanamaki shower without supervision. he will be there for hours (his record was 3 hours- “3 fricking hours takahiro,” “uhm?? excuse u?? it was only 2 hours and 47 minutes, thank u very much”). there’s even a house rule that under no circumstance is hanamaki allowed to shower when nobody else is home. so yes. pls keep ur takahiro under close supervision.
  • no one likes to shower with matsukawa because his showers are fucking 800°. whenever he exits the bathroom his skin’s always flushed red from the hot water and u can see all the steam escape and he- quote unquote- “looks like a demon from some scifi horror shit making his grand entrance into the land of the living”
  • before they started dating hanamaki used to be a camboy (it helped lots with his self-esteem) but then he stopped bc he felt his boyfriend wouldn’t like it. they actually don’t really mind tho and were fine with whatever made him happy but he still stopped
  • omg THE PET NAMES U GUYS. THE PET NAMES. u can bet!! hanamaki’s sweet ass!! that iwa has called everyone babe at least once!!! and it makes everyone absolutely melt. altho he usually reserves this for oikawa b/c matsuhana like to make fun of him for it ww
  • u know those popsicles u can get that split into two? oikawa hates those b/c mattsun and iwa always fight over who gets to split theirs with hanamaki (altho they only do this to get a rise out of oikawa ww. hanamaki also likes to add fuel to the fire. “oh what /ever/ am i supposed to do, how could i possibly choose between two hot men,” etc, etc). usually it’ll be mattsun who gives in and splits his with oikawa because he’s weak to oikawa’s pouty face ww more so than he’d like to admit www
  • oikawa and hanamaki sometimes get into heated arguments about?? the dumbest shit??? like iwa or matsu would be chilling in the bedroom or sth and all u hear from the living room is shit like “u call that spirit fingers? watch THIS” “those aren’t jazz hands, THESE are jazz hands”
  • yea
  • iwa walked in on this conversation, actually.. when hanamaki heard him come in he said “come on hajime, give me a-” quickly turning to him with that stupid look on his face and continuing- “jazz hand here” he never regretted his choice in boyfriends moreso than that point in time (that’s a lie)

has anyone done a khr/avengers crossover where xanxus and steve switch places because they’re fellow ice cube people. honestly i just want to see s.h.i.e.l.d dig him up and regret all their life choices as xanxus shits on the whole “national icon” image.

Day 1 - I woke up feeling numb. My eyes hurt from all the crying last night. I miss you. I hope you come back. Please come back.

Day 7 - It’s been a week and I still haven’t heard anything from you. I’ve sent you a lot of messages but they either get unread or unanswered. I hope you’re hurting right now too, just like me.

Day 14 - two weeks apart and without you in my life felt like a lifetime. I took out all the letters and poems you’ve written me when we were still together. It still seems so unreal. Your letters sounded like you really loved me. When did that love begin to fade?

Day 20 - My friends keep on telling me that it would get better. But my response would always be “when?!” I am so tired of feeling like shit at night because I still can’t understand why you fell out of love. Don’t I deserve a decent explanation? Or maybe you think I am not worthy of it all?

Day 32 - I stopped stalking your facebook profile and unfollowed your twitter and instagram accounts a week ago. It’s not much but at least I am now starting to accept how things really are between us right? My mom has been telling me to take a breath of fresh air. I can tell that she’s worried about me. And sometimes, I hope you feel the same way about me too.

Day 40 - I burned the letters, deleted the photos, and threw away the teddy bears. It’s about time to get rid of the things that remind me of you, of us. You are a part of my past now and no matter how difficult it is to move forward, I know I have to try. My best friend told me that she saw you in 7/11 today. You were happy, genuinely happy. I hope I get to that point too.

Day 55 - Time stopped when I saw you standing in front of the bookstore yesterday. All the memories that I had a hard time forgetting came flooding in. I missed you. I missed you so, so much that I had the urge to run into your arms and just hug you. I remember all the kisses. I suddenly longed for one. I took one step towards you. That moment, I was so ready to beg again. Until I saw how you looked at the girl that came out of the bookstore. I know you love her because you used to look at me like that. Why do people from your past always haunt you just when you believed that you are already doing okay without them?

Day 60 - I still can’t accept the fact that you have replaced me. But I hope she takes care of you and loves you so, so much. I hope you don’t leave her ever. Maybe this time, she is worth it. I’m going to be okay. Yes, everything’s going to be fine.

Day 75 - I’m feeling better right now. I went to church yesterday and cried my heart out. I cried for what we were, what we are now, and for what we could’ve been. Maybe you weren’t really meant to stay in my life permanently. Maybe I needed to be taught a lesson that school can’t teach me. And maybe you were meant to be my teacher. It still hurts sometimes and I still miss the memories but unlike before, I don’t miss you now. Maybe I’ve become stronger, more mature.

Day 86 - I missed smiling and laughing heartily like this. I never thought I could be this happy without you. But look at me now. There are no fake smiles, no pretentions. I am really okay. And right now, I hope you are just as okay as I am or even better!

Day 92 - I received a note from you yesterday through my best friend. I thought the letters stopped altogether when you decided to leave. But look, you wrote me one again. You used to write me a two-page letter every time we have a big fight. But right now, it’s just a one-half piece of paper you obviously tore out of your notebook. And only three words are written: I AM SORRY.

Day 95 - I’ve been thinking whether I have really forgiven you for leaving me. And know what? I already did. I’ve forgiven you for all the lame excuses and all the stupid alibis and for not putting up with my mess when I have always put up with yours. I have forgiven you for all the pain you have caused me. I have forgiven you for keeping distance when all I wanted was to keep you close. I have forgiven you for choosing to leave. And I have forgiven myself for all the wrong choices I have made which could’ve been one of the reasons why we broke up. However, please know that I won’t ever regret meeting you.

Day 100 - I left an envelope at your doorstep a while ago. In it was a letter I wrote last night. Mind you, it had been tough writing to you my last letter ever. I reminisced our happy and sad moments and I realized that regardless of how we ended up, I would still choose to make those memories with you. I never regret any of them. Instead, I am glad we made them. I am glad that every time I look back to what we had, I can still see happy faces and hear sincere i love you’s. Yes, it had been painful and difficult toward the end but the happy and romantic memories ruled. I am glad I have met you, fallen in love with you, and have finally let you go. Thank you for making me stronger; for helping me realize that I need to love myself first before falling in love with another; for making me see the importance and the worth of the people who have always loved me; for helping me acknowledge the fact that sometimes, I need to be my own hero, that nobody could save me unless I choose to save myself. Thank you for making me see the beauty in hellos and the good in good byes. It would always be a privilege to be loved by you. I hope you have a great future ahead. Thanks for the memories.

—  A hundred days of letting go (m.b)
The Demons Apprentice 4

yes another update. I’m just as happy as you guys whenever i upload more parts. haha okay so let me hurt your hearts some with this, and (idk spoiler not really) that comic takes place in this part so thats nice

easy writing there pfft 

anyways enough of me talking, RREADDDDD:

 —————-

[part 4-]


At the Mystery shack:

 

Figuradæmonium.

Location incantatores.

Mentes reformationem.

Potens daemonia.

Potionibus , omnis hexagonis , evocatio, profligare , et rotarum orbes.

Diabolus regna.

How to Speak Latin for Dummies.

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2

so all weekend i was not sure what i was going to do in my cockles photo op and even in the line, in the room, i still didn’t, so i went up to them and asked if we should do something cool or something all smiley and misha just started pulling me towards him by my hair and said “let’s do something stupid” and all the time i was repeating to him “no, no, no, no, everything but” but he was all like “come on!” and i don’t even remember what happened and i didn’t know what jensen did and i saw that chris only waited to take the picture until i started smiling and i look just so scared, regretting all my life choices, letting misha take the wheel and knowing that i will never let him decide anything ever again; and afterwards i was a little bouncing ball screeching at misha “no, this is not what i want, what did you do, no” and looking at jensen all like “you know him better than i do, help me” and the people wanted me to leave, but jensen took over and said “what did you want to do, cool or smiley? let’s do something cool!” and we ended up doing that and i couldn’t even function anymore and jensen told me to put my hand on his shoulder and i apologized after and said thank you and also the creation people said “it’s not your fault” because they know misha is a little shit and even though i apologized to misha again later he thought it was funny i still feel the biggest embarassment in all my life

I’ve learned so much since you’ve left. You’ve taught me more than anyone else has ever even bothered to. I made so many mistakes when we were together. And believe me, I regret it all. Every stupid choice I made, all of my impulsive decisions, I wish I could turn back time and make it right. But I can’t. I know you probably regret me or us, I can’t blame you. I just hope one day you realize that I really did love you with all of my heart. I might have fucked us up and ruined any chance of us being together, but at least now I know more than I did before. I know how to cherish things, moments, people, and more. I can’t take anything for granted anymore. Not that I took you for granted.. I just thought that love could fix absolutely anything. Even the most horrible mistakes. I was wrong. Love is only the strongest thing in the universe when it is the purest. When it is believed in, when you put all of your faith in it. We both made mistakes, some weighed more than others. I lost you but you haven’t lost me. I’m so sorry that I didn’t have enough faith in us. I let my sadness and anger get the best of me. I was driven by my need to destroy myself and anything else in the way. Now I know. Now I know that I shouldn’t have done that. You were more important than everything else, even more important than my self hatred. This doesn’t excuse any of my actions. This doesn’t excuse the fact that I hurt you. This doesn’t excuse the heartbreak. But I hope you think of me sometimes. And I hope that wherever you are, you still think of our good times. Our beautiful times. Because I know that I can never forget you. I won’t ever stop loving you either. You are the love of my life. I will continue to choose you till the end of time and it’s okay if you move on. It’s okay if you let go of me and my memory. Just know that I won’t and it’s not because I can’t. It’s because I don’t want to. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. Because of you, I will never make that stupid mistake again. I will change for the better. I will beat my sadness and anger. And I promise, our relationship will mean everything. It was my turning point. Thank you.
—  I’m just truly sorry that I broke both of our hearts in the process.
17 at the coffee shop

Seungcheol: Starring at the cute barista and blushing profusely when it’s his turn to order

Seungkwan: taking professional pictures of the bagel he ordered

Jun: Constantly teasing his best friend how its like they’re on a date

Minghao: Reminding Jun that they are dating and that it wasn’t funny the first time

Jeonghan: Counting down the minutes till his break

Hoshi: Cracks jokes so loudly that the manager threatens to throw him out

DK: Trying not to laugh at Hoshi’s jokes and burning his tongue on coffee more than once

Wonwoo: Trying to get his stupid essay done but gets side tracked by mingyu

Mingyu: starts wadding up napkins and throwing them at wonwoo

Woozi: Trying to think of lyrics but ends up googling a different coffee shop because of the stupid couple starting a napkin war again

Joshua: Reading manga in the corner all zoned out. Totally forgets he even ordered food

Vernon: Busy burning the stupid coffee and his fingers; genrelly regretting his life choices

Dino: in the break room taking a nap under a pile of aprons totally not shirking off responsibility

Arguments (Danisnotonfire Imagine)

Anon: could you write an imagine about danisnotonfire ? i don’t care the prompt but could you fit the phrase, “So , this is it?” into it somehow? it can either be about a breakup or a good thing idek and idec lol thank you love your bloggg

 Word Count: 964

Warnings: none

Notes: awh thank you! really glad you love the blog! hahaa ^-^

~RR

You wanted to cry. You wanted cry so hard. It was unbelievable that you and your boyfriend, Dan, were fighting. The two of you had been together for quite some time now. People knew about the relationship, but not so many approved it. But, Dan said it didn’t matter what his viewers thought because he loved you.

Today though, it was a bad day. You were bottling things in, and today, you just exploded… on Dan. You started yelling and shouting and making a big deal over nothing. This caused Dan to start arguing back, and for Phil to leave the scene awkwardly. He said that he should “let you two be and sort out your problems.” You felt terrible that Phil left because of your antics, but you had been bottling up so many mixed emotions that it all came out as anger.

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Good Enough - Niall

A/N: This is for all the people who puts themselves down in a negative way. You’re all beautiful, and I really hope that you’ll understand that one day! I’m here for anyone who wants to talk. x

Sorry for the long wait, btw! 

- Annie :)

I groaned in frustration, looking at the person in front of me in disgust. The person before me was nothing but a disappointment and, excuse my language, a bitch. Sadly enough, we were very much alike. We had the same hair colour, the same taste in fashion and make-up. We were practically twins. In fact, we were the same person.

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International Women’s Day is as good a day as any to remind yourself that no matter what your beliefs on equality are, you’re not above failure

It’s important to remember that even as a man in full support of feminism, you aren’t exempt from being a guy and making stupid dumb guy decisions occasionally, and you should also never think you’re exempt from judgement because of it. Recently I severely hurt the feelings of someone who I admire as a person and as a friend, due to my own selfish personal choices. But I recognise and severely regret the tactless way I handled it, and all I can do at this point is say I’m sorry.

Today’s a good day to pay homage to some of your favourite female role models and make jokes about misandry, but it’s also a perfect opportunity to reflect on yourself and the things you can do to be better. That’s what I’ll be doing. 

Prom Disaster // C.D.

I laughed a little before shaking my head for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. This just hasn’t been my month. 

I was stuck in a dumb ass love triangle a while back and I finally chose one. Cameron. Something about Cameron just struck me. I couldn’t get enough of him. I mean, his hair, his eyes. The way he played with my four year old brother. He got along with my parents. He just stood above Matt. I thought I had made the right choice.

That is, until almost a year into our relationship, he decided that he would stick his tongue down his ex’s throat. No he wasn’t drunk, and no it wasn’t one of those cheesy, “she kissed me” moments. He was kissing back and he never denied it. He just said he regretted it and that it was a stupid decision that he made. 

And of course, Matt came to comfort me. All the shit I had put Matthew through. Picking Cameron over him. Blowing him off for Cameron. All the shit I did and he still made me feel better.

I never got into a relationship with Matt, but he asked me to prom. 

At the time I thought it was the best idea ever. Because I was starting to fall for Matt. I started to develop strong feelings for him.

Prom itself was a great time. No we didn’t win prom king and queen but who cares about that really? Johnson and his date won so that makes up for Matt and I losing. 

Prom was great and I had a blast. The after party is what fucked up my mood. 

Like I said, I never got into a relationship with Matt. But how would you feel if the boy you were falling for, also your prom date, made out with your “best friend”. Trying to hide in a room so they could continue onto god knows what. 

Well if you couldn’t tell, that happened to me. About twenty minutes ago. And what have I been doing since? Sitting on the curb with my feet in the rode, my maroon prom dress spread out on the gravel with a vodka bottle in hand. 

I took another sip and hummed as the liquid ran down my throat. I sighed and shut my eyes before I felt a jacket being placed on my shoulders. Not a hoodie, like a suit jacket. 

“It’s cold out. Why are you out front by yourself? And how full was the bottle when you stole it?” Cameron asked in a worried voice before taking the bottle out of my hand. 

“I know. I’ve had a shitty night. And full.” I answered all of his questions and he sighed. 

“Well, why was your night shitty? You had fun at prom” He said and I smiled before leaving my head on his right shoulder. 

So I spilled every last detail. Every heart wrenching detail. 

“Seems pretty shitty.” He said and I shrugged.

“I’ve experienced worse.” I said and he sighed. 

“(Y/N) look I-”

“You’re sorry. I know. I forgive you. I’ve looked passed it and I’ve realized that I shouldn’t have blown up about it. Coming with Matt was a bad idea and leaving you was a worse one. Give me my alcohol.” I said and reached for the vodka but he placed it far away from me. 

My eyes started to well up and before I knew it, I was sobbing into Cameron’s white dress shirt. 

“God I’m sorry.” I said pulling back to see a big black spot on Cameron’s shirt. 

“It gives me an excuse to throw it out.” He said and I smiled. 

“You always hated dressing up.” I whispered and he nodded. 

“Yeah I did and I still do.” He said and I laughed. “Let’s get you home?” He whispered and picked me up bridal style before walking to his car. 

I woke up while Cameron was walking up my stairs. I opened my eyes for  second to see him push open my door before I closed my eyes again.

My back his the mattress of my bed and I sighed. Cameron took of my shoes and I smiled a little. 

I laid on my left side, facing the wall and felt the zipper come undone. 

“Lift your legs for me babe.” Cameron said and I did so, too tired to argue.

He pulled the dress off and I felt the cold air hit my exposed body. Cam and I dated for almost a year, he had seen me like this plenty of times. We’ve done this whole, dress the drunk, thing a couple of times. 

I felt my feet slip into a warm piece of clothing before Cameron skillfully slid a pair of sweatpants onto my legs. There were over sized and I instantly knew they were one of the pairs of his that I had stolen a while back and never gave back. I had two pairs of his sweatpants and one of his sweat shirts. 

“Sit up.” Cameron said in a soft voice and I did so. “Arms.” Cameron said and I raised my arms up before a shirt was slipped onto my torso. I smiled and my eyes fluttered open to meet Cameron’s gorgeous brown ones. 

I laid on my back and sprawled my arms out on the bed before hearing the door open. 

“Stay” I said and opened my eyes to see him nod and close the door. “There’s another pair of-”

“I know” He cut me off and I laughed. 

I felt the bed dip and an arm snake around my waist before he pulled me into his bare chest. 

“I’m so sorry (Y/N). About everything.” Cameron said before pressing his lips to my forehead. 

“We can talk about this sappy shit in the morning. For now, just sleep.” I said and he laughed a little. 

“Goodnight princess.” He pressed a final kiss to my forehead and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.