(This is about Overwatch, but it can be applied to most competitive games.)
Alright girls. Today I was playing some D.Va in competitive Overwatch. As usual, I was communicating on the voice chat, and as usual, people noticed I was a girl. One guy said to me, “congrats for being the only girl I’ve ever seen who’s not playing mercy.”
Now, obviously I had noticed how many girls default to playing support - usually the game’s most standard and obvious support (OW Mercy, TF2 Medic, DOTA2 Crystal Maiden). I had some cheeky banter with my friend about a “basic bitch” in a match who was a girl playing mercy.
Yesterday, I queued up with a friend who invited his friend - a girl - and let me tell you something. Her quickplay stats were baffling to me. This girl had98 hours on Mercy alone, her second most played only having 5 hours. She only had about 7 heroes with play time in total.
Being a fellow girl, I think I know why this is. Guys often like to show off by picking DPS/carry, even going so far as to refuse to change when it’s not a good pick. I’ve never seen this same scenario with girls. Of course I’ve met stubborn and toxic girls in-game, but even when asked, they will change. For example, I was playing a competitive game of Overwatch - attack on Hanamura. There was a girl playing Junkrat. I asked her if she was able to switch to Tracer or someone else who can dive so we could breach the defenses and she got extremely hostile at me but still changed to who I asked. She even played Mercy the next round (and blamed the loss on me because I asked her to change.)
Unlike many guys, girls most often avoid any confrontations or drama buy defaulting to supporting their other teammates. I’m not innocent of this either, I main Lucio, and used to be a support main in TF2 and DOTA2. However, once I realized, hey, I’m allowed to play DPS and carry my team, I started picking heroes besides supports and doing well.
I just wanted to get it out there: Girls, you’re allowed to carry.You’re allowed to be the star. You can do better than guys in games. Someone picks the character you wanted to carry as but is a much lower rank than you? Ask to swap. 70% of the time it will work. They don’t swap? Don’t just pick support and rely on them. I realize “picking whoever you want” can cost the game, but you’re all good and smart enough to still pick wisely, I know it.
Don’t feel bad about maining supports, I still main one in Overwatch. But I only ranked up by branching out, putting my foot down and saying “No, you’re not doing well on that hero, give me a go. Support me instead.”
Sam: As soon as you found out, you began plotting how you were going to tell him. Of course he noticed the slightly different things you did, resulting in him pestering you to see what’s wrong. After you told him the news he began prepping for the baby immediately. Regardless of the fact you two had nine months to get everything ready. Guess excitement overtakes people’s senses.
Dean: The minute-no the second you told Dean, he began to treat you as though you were going to explode. Taking junk food from you because “it could hurt the baby”. Not letting you lift anything. Barley even a book or glass of water. Once you started to show more and more he refused to hug you…or even sleep in the same bed with you once you further progressed because “what if I roll over onto you?”, even though he never had before. Luckily for you, once the baby was born he directed all that paranoid attention to the munchkin.
Castiel: It’s no surprise that he found out before you did. He was in a state of complete shock and awe from the second he heard a second heartbeat lingering inside of you. At first you thought it was cool or adorable how he could check in on you. That was until he was doing it every other hour to make sure nothing was wrong. It only got worse when the little being inside of you grew to be bigger. Any movement you made, or small noise at the feeling of a kick in your ribs, Cas had to give you the full examination. Sooner or later he realized that everything was going to be fine and he could stop worrying so much. That didn’t happen until a week before your due date.
Crowley: From the moment you told The Boy King about your little gift, he had a certain change in him. Whether he saw this as father redemption or was just filled with happiness, you couldn’t tell. The most overprotective he got during your pregnancy was not letting you leave Hell without him. Which was understandable, so you didn’t really put up a fight. Carrying the King of Hell’s child had its perks. Like food whenever you wanted it, and whatever you wanted. Anything you asked for, demons would scramble about trying to get it as quickly as possible. It was really something funny, watching them trip over their fear of not being fast enough. Of course your new little munchkins first outfit had “The prince/princess of Hell” labeled on it. That one you didn’t really have a say on.
Lucifer: It all started when he sat straight up in bed and just looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. Just when you thought your life couldn’t change anymore, it did. On so many levels. Honestly it was really weird knowing that all of Heaven and Hell knew you were with child before you even had a clue. The fact that you had Angels hell bent on killing you, but mainly the baby, didn’t really help with the whole pregnancy stress level chart. As if it wasn’t stressful enough having a human growing inside of you. But Luce was by your side 24/7. Always keeping the Angels or anything that meant to harm you far away. Somewhere between all the baby assassins and pregnancy hormones, the two of you still had time to have a somewhat normal upcoming. Anytime a kick or a movement was going to happen he knew. And he’d be right there to witness it.
Gabriel: Never had you thought that Gabe and his trickster tendencies would be something you would appreciate. That was until it came handy to have to help hide you from those who meant to cause your unborn child harm. Most of your pregnancy wasn’t spent fighting some war against those who intended to harm you. It was spent fighting another war over what the babies name would be. First idea Gabriel had was “Little Ass Kicker” because for some god awful reason that made sense. Obviously you weren’t about to call any child of yours that, but he was persistent. “What about Lak?” He would ask while you were just about to drift off to sleep. “Lak? The hell kind of name is-…it stands for Little Ass Kicker doesn’t it?” There was no way around it. He’d go to pretty lengthy extents trying to get you to say yes just once so it’d be official. Like rubbing your back for an hour. Or getting you a shit ton of the food you were craving. Long story short…you gave birth to a Little Ass Kicker…
The interaction between Weiss and Ruby in the volume 3 finale is some of the best stuff in the entire series in my opinion. They have such a trust and quiet understanding with one another. The way they reach out for each other.
The way Weiss stands in front of Yang, trying to shield Ruby from seeing her sister in such a way for as long as she possibly can
To Weiss’ immediate insistence on following Ruby into an unknown fight because she refuses to let Ruby go into it alone.
To their final moment where Weiss, a girl who once told Ruby she didn’t belong anywhere near Beacon, told that same girl “you can do this” with such confidence and support.
It’s only my opinion, but I think they have the best partnership in the show. They’ve come so far and reached a point where they bring out the absolute best in one another and if THIS is what they will be like when they reunite and as they go forward - I can’t wait to watch.
No, I’m not talking about true, genuine relationship-y type things.
I’m talking straight up abusive and obsessive, namely Lotor being obsessed with Lance.
I want Lotor to attack the paladins, see Lance, and throw the plan out the window because holy fuck he needs that boy now.
Please consider this:
Lance gets captured (or traded for a cease fire [the team opposed but Lance went anyways]) and taken onto a Galra ship where he gets a room with a nice bed and everything, but there’s no windows, no unlocked door. The air vents have bars in front like a jail cell. His room may be luxurious, but Lance has never fell more imprisoned.
Lotor drops by constantly, forcing Lance to do things in exchange for his life. The Galran prince will dress up our paladin in various outfits, ranging from showy to modest. He makes him dance (I headcanon blue paladins having a history of being exceptional dancers) and, as soon as he learned Lance could, sing.
If Lance refused a request, he’d get hurt. He put up with it for a while, but soon got too annoyed. He didn’t care anymore. So what if he got hurt? It’s not like his friends were coming (casually throws in some Langst for ya [dont worry, I promise Voltron is doing all they can]).
Eventually, Lotor learned that physical pain wasn’t working anymore, so he switch to psychological. He visited less and less. He let Lance go crazy from lack of social interaction. He’d show up again weeks later, and lo and behold the blue paladin was willing to do just about anything.
Lance thrived on attention.
Lotor used it against him.
The Prince repeated the process. As time went on, Lance became more and more dependent on Lotor’s attention. The more disinterested he seemed, the greater the lengths the paladin was willing to go to.
Mental abuse turned to sexual harassment turned to reluctant - almost fearful - consent. The Prince wanted everything Lance had to offer, and he was going to take it using whatever means necessary. Out of fear of being abandoned, the paladin went with whatever Lotor demanded.
By the time Voltron rescued him, Lance could barely function without the structure Lotor gave him. He forgot how to act around so many people, far to used to being in solitude, or in the abusive presence of the prince.
Lance was never quite the same.
❛ My power over you grows stronger yet. ❜
❛ Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind. ❜
❛ Your part is silent, little toad! ❜
❛ Perhaps it is you who are the toad… ❜
❛ Flattering child, you shall know me, see why in shadow I hide! ❜
❛ Seal my fate tonight. ❜
❛ I hate to have to cut the fun short, but the joke’s wearing thin. ❜
❛ Let the audience in. ❜
❛ God, give me courage to show you you are not alone! ❜
❛ Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? ❜
❛ I heard as I’d never heard before. ❜
❛ What you heard was a dream and nothing more. ❜
❛ Those pleading eyes, that both threaten and adore… ❜
❛ That voice which calls to me and speaks my name. ❜
❛ And do I dream again? ❜
❛ You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge. ❜
❛ I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge. ❜
❛ In your mind you’ve already sucummed to me. ❜
❛ Now you are here with me. No second thoughts. ❜
❛ Past the point of no return. ❜
❛ What raging fire shall flood the soul? ❜
❛ What rich desires unlock its door? ❜
❛ What sweet seductions lie before us? ❜
❛ Those who have seen your face draw back in fear. ❜
❛ Did you think that I had left you for good? ❜
❛ Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair! ❜
❛ You’ve past the point of no return. ❜
❛ You try my patience make your choice. ❜
❛ I gave you my mind blindly. ❜
❛ Wandering child, so lost, so helpless, yearning for my guidance. ❜
❛ Have you forgotten your Angel? ❜
❛ Wildly my mind beats against you… ❜
❛ Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigne. ❜
❛ Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. ❜
❛ Can I ever forget that sight? ❜
❛ Can I ever escape from that face? ❜
❛ Past the point of no return - no going back now. ❜
❛ When will the flames, at last, consume us? ❜
❛ When will the blood begin to race? ❜
❛ I remember… there was mist. ❜
❛ Who was that shape in the shadows? ❜
❛ Whose is that face in the mask? ❜
❛ Damn you! You little prying Pandora! You little demon! ❜
❛ Is this what you wanted to see? Curse you! ❜
❛ Now you cannot ever be free! ❜
❛ Come. We must return. ❜
❛ Those two fools who run my theater will be missing you. ❜
❛ No kind word from anyone! No compassion anywhere! ❜
❛ Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime. ❜
❛ Lead me, save me from my solitude. ❜
❛ Say you’ll want me with you here beside you. ❜
❛ Anywhere you go, let me go too. ❜
❛ Can you even dare to look or bear to think of me? ❜
❛ Have you no pity? ❜
❛ Your lover makes a passionate plea. ❜
❛ Let your mind start a journey to a strange new world! ❜
❛ Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before! ❜
❛ Only then can you belong to me… ❜
❛ You alone can make my song take flight. ❜
❛ It’s over now, the music of the night. ❜
❛ Twisted every way, what answer can I give? ❜
❛ Say you love him/her, and my life is over! ❜
❛ Now, let it be war upon you both! ❜
❛ See you later, because I’m going now. ❜
❛ This haunted face holds no horror for me now. ❜
❛ It’s in your soul that the true distortion lies. ❜
❛ For the past three years, these things do happen! ❜
❛ And did you stop them from happening? No! ❜
❛ Why have you brought me here? ❜
❛ We can’t go back there. ❜
❛ I can’t escape from him/her/them… ❜
❛ Raise up your hand to the level of your eyes! ❜
❛ Refuse me, and you send your lover to his death! ❜
❛ Go now, don’t let them find you. ❜
❛ I fought so hard to free you! ❜
❛ Say you love me. ❜
❛ Your chains are still mine! You belong to me! ❜
❛ Wait! I think my dear, we have a guest. ❜
❛ I had rather hoped that you would come. ❜
❛ Free him/her! Do what you like only free him/her! ❜
❛ Does that mean nothing I love him/her! Show some compassion! ❜
❛ The world showed no compassion to me! ❜
❛ Did you think that I would harm him/her? ❜
❛ Too late for prayers and useless pity! ❜
❛ You little demon - is this what you wanted to see? ❜
❛ Farewell, my fallen idol and false friend. ❜
❛ Look around, there’s another mask behind you! ❜
❛ Please promise me that sometimes, you will think… of me! ❜
❛ Where in the world have you been hiding? ❜
❛ I only wish I knew your secret. ❜
❛ Who is your great tutor? ❜
❛ Why you spray on my chin all the time, huh? ❜
❛ The final threshold! ❜
❛ They say that this youth has set my lady’s heart aflame! ❜
❛ Go away, for the trap is set and waits for its prey! ❜
❛ There is no phantom of the opera. ❜
❛ Look, your future bride! Just think of it! ❜
❛ Please don’t, they’ll see. ❜
❛ But why is it secret? What have we to hide? ❜
❛ It’s an engagement, not a crime! ❜
Can we just say a few words about this man. I feel like I need to thank the Gods for this beautiful creation of a human because he is a fucking gift. Like he could fuck me up anytime. And he’s so adorable at the same time like what the fuck?!
- He is another example of the phrase ‘gentleman in the streets, freak in the sheets’. I can’t stress this enough! In public, his hand would always be on your waist or intertwined with you hand but private, the most popular place his hand ends up is down your pants.
- He would never tell you but he loves waking up in the morning and seeing his abs littered in lovebites. His excuse is always “babe, they’d kill me at work if they saw any marks” but he knows your only reply is “then wear more paint”
- There have been many times where he will walk backstage fresh from his fight and covered in paint, take your hand and drag you off to his dressing room to fuck you.
- If he is in the mood (he’s almost always in the mood), he will spank you. No joke. He will bend you over his knee or a counter and just spank you. But even when you aren’t having sex, he will walk up to you and slap your ass then walk away as you’re trying to work.
- Usually, he is quite a patient man but when it comes to you, he’s desperate for your touch anywhere.
- Most definitely has a daddy kink. But he likes it just as much when you call him ‘your prince’.
- He will prefer to go down on you. Not that he doesn’t like you to get him off, it’s that he gets off on you getting off. He will eat you out anywhere in private.
- You can’t walk into any room in your house without having flashbacks of him fucking you in there, I talking about the garden too.
- He will always top, or so he’ll say. He lets you top sometimes but that’s only because you’ve actually tied him down so he can’t refuse.
- When he injured his shoulder, it killed him because he couldn’t get you off as easily. That’s when you stepped up and showed him how good you are at pleasing him and yourself.
- He will make you beg. He gets off on you practically crying because he’s teasing you so hard. But lemme tell you right now, the begging is worth it.
- The guy also has a lot of stamina so he can go a hell of a lot of rounds with you.
Octavia is a reckless, naive, bratty girl who believes she’s a warrior without embodying the strength of mind, courage and intelligence of one. Kane said it best: “Lincoln taught you when not to kill.” She sees vengeance as justice, when oftentimes the two are so far apart, that having them as one is dangerous and damaging.
Don’t get me wrong, she was my favourite character in seasons one and two. I figured out how to recreate the grounder braids and I wore them for weeks; taking a good hour to get them all in the way I wanted. I loved her despite her flaws. She was strong and interesting and complex, and she fell in love with the grounder, and together the two of them were going to fight back to back forever.
But something I found was Octavia’s fatal flaw - one that is not her own fault, but Aurora’s. Octavia’s had a sheer lack of socialisation. If you ever want to research the nature vs nurture debate, do it, but nurture always wins out. Who we are is not our genes, it’s our experiences. As children, we are socialised by parents and teachers, friends and neighbours - they shape who we become, how we act.
For example, my parents taught me table manners very strictly, but they didn’t for my older brother. Now, my brother doesn’t hold his knife and fork properly, he eats with his elbows on the table, and often uses his fork to cut his food, instead of the knife. I do none of the above. It’s called socialisation, and it teaches us how we act.
Octavia has had so little of it, that her first real experience of the world is when she hits the ground. I can’t fault her, necessarily, for this, but it does effect who she becomes. Octavia’s first experience of the world is Bellamy rebelling, is Jasper getting speared, is Murphy getting hanged, is Charlotte jumping off a cliff. It’s violence and danger and fighting and killing.
These are her only experiences, and so when she comes to problems like people not doing what she wants - she hasn’t learned patience and understanding. She’s learnt to kill that which does not go her way.
In season two, she hits Lincoln. They had the most beautiful relationship up until this moment - but Lincoln gets forced onto the Reaper drug. He’s forced into becoming a monster. He has to kill. I’m pretty sure cannibalism is involved, too. But he gets addicted to this drug because of the high - he gets addicted to a drug that he had no choice in taking. Octavia hits him because she thinks this is the best way to get him to stop. (And somehow this works, I don’t even know, but if you have a friend who is forced into being addicted to drugs, please don’t hit them to make them stop, it doesn’t work in the real world.)
Octavia also lectures him on his own culture. She lectures Lincoln, who has been a grounder his WHOLE LIFE, about his own culture, one that she has decided to join like a month ago.
In season three (I think), she hits Indra. There’s a pattern, by the way. There’s a pattern to the people she’s hitting. They’re all people of colour. They’re all people she perceives as family. They’re all people who are in significantly worse condition than she is. Lincoln was on his knees. Lincoln would never harm her. Indra was brutally injured and mourning the loss of her entire army, where she was the only survivor. Indra would absolutely hit Octavia back, but she couldn’t because she was on the ground, bleeding and injured, and Octavia knew that.
In season three, she beats Bellamy to a pulp. A man of colour. Chain to a rock. On his knees. Would never harm her. She beats him until his entire face is just covered in blood, and she does it to let her grief out. Because she thinks he deserves it, that she has a right to spell out her grief across her older brother’s face. This man had done nothing but protect her her entire life, nothing but love and care for her, and she does this. Then she says he’s “dead to” her. How fucking disgusting.
(I’m not even going to talk about people’s reaction to her, fandom etc. Just know that someone I know happily justifies and supports her actions and I refuse to discuss the show with them anymore, because I will not listen to someone thinking that she’s still strong and interesting and a good character anymore when she’s done such bad shit. Even in a show where everyone does morally grey things, Octavia’s awful. She’s not morally grey. She’s morally black and she knows it.)
In this season, Octavia has just completely overridden any other part of her with murder. She gives zero shits. She’s just gonna kill people, because that’s all she is now. She’s a murderer. I wouldn’t even call her an assassin - she’s just a coldblooded killer, not even told to kill these people but does it anyway.
And Gaia! She was going to kill Gaia before she found out she was Indra’s daughter. Because suddenly, suddenly, family is important to her? Mere weeks after beating the shit out of her older brother for something he didn’t even do?
When she fell off that cliff in the newest episode, most of me was really hoping that she’d just stay dead. I can’t deal with her on my screen anymore.
Capricorn: Sometimes there is glitter between the sheets, sometimes I don’t want to compete with the lack of passion you hold for me, I want to work for something that makes me free, but the cage of my mind is built inside me.
Aquarius: Light seeps in under the closed door, you touch the light stream and it feels warm, something inside you stirs and you remember why you came here, you remember who you were, but you can’t go back only forward.
Pisces: Water between your fingers as you engulf your body into the sea, you feel free, something tugs you back to shore, is it the things you said or the love you never felt, is it the things you never said, or words that make you melt?
Aries: Quick steps of high heels on hallway floors, callused hands and lips coated in honey, touch those memories that make you feel funny, embrace the unsettled, run with the wind.
Taurus: Bull horns and busted lips, sore knees and bruised hips, take your fingers and take a dip, into whatever sauce you feel best equipped, touch the tips, feel it quick.
Gemini: Your cosmic energy touches the atmosphere around you and your smile is contagious when you look into the eyes of divinity, shadowy reflections of the two hearts inside your one head, get out instead, feel love, take a chance.
Cancer: Crab Claws scratch down your spine and you grin, there is some pleasure in sin, you haven’t felt it in many moons but I know it still hides inside you, an energy like that cannot be vanquished, you hide it but it’s a part of you.
Leo: You dine on lions hearts and are as stubborn as an ox, you need to cleanse your pallet, you need to feel and relax, a detox of the shadows, carry yourself by the stars, you can do this, its not too hard.
Virgo: You stand on top of the empire state building, collapse or fly, melt or harden, the world is your garden, take a risk and don’t miss out on all the tiny people you lay at your feet.
Libra: Complicated is your middle name, you whisper softly in your sleep, not secrets but lies, you’ve hardened to the world that far, you’re a star but you refuse to shine, come out from beneath that city grime, show yourself you’re more than a dime.
Scorpio: The mountains call to you but I don’t think you feel them, you’re still stuck on a love that poisoned you, let it go, clean your wounds, I miss you, feel that vibe, you deserve to save yourself from the harshness of the world and thrive.
Sagittarius: Cold wind flushes your eyes and you pretend to shield your eyes from the dying of the light, I know you see the time fly, change at your coat tails, will you ride or fail?
Today I had to call in a manager because a lady basically cornered me to talk to me about god and wouldn't let me leave until I promised to come to church (I gave her a ton of excuses as to why I had to go., she refused all of them) which I refused to agree to so I just sorta... called out to the manager who I saw down a nearby aisle (thank go she showed up). The lady got kicked out of the store for harassing me. Told me I was going to burn in hell.
Ugh. Had one of those weirdos that gave my children mini Bibles when we were shopping two days before Easter. One, we’re athiests and you can’t change that. Two, get the fuck away from my children. Three, who the FUCK do you think you are? I wanted to fucking punch her so bad but held back cuz I seriously don’t want to go to jail. This isn’t even the first time this crap has happened here. People do this all the time! -Abby
It’s almost that time again, when the weather gets warmer, and we’re dragged along by our families on mind-numbingly long road trips to places we don’t actually care about. Ah, the joys of summer vacation. Fortunately, for those 8 hour bore-fests, podcasts have your back! My family travels a lot, so I decided to share my favorite podcasts to keep y’all company on the road (ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ
Our Fair City: An insanely vast and detailed show that takes the term “world building”, and shows it it’s maker (which is, of course, the ever benevolent Hart-Life Corporation). Filled with more colorful characters than you can shake a stick at, Our Fair City had a variety of intertwining stories and beings that will steal your heart, and possibly your science equipment for various nefarious purposes. I’m only on season two, and am still extremely impressed with the effort that went into creating the world of Hart Life, and the many characters that inhabit it. You’ll have more than a few favorites, especially Dr. Herbert West, who manages to capture both the unbridled joy, and sinister dark side, of everything science. If you like classic old-time radio and the apocalypse with a twist, this show is for you.
ars Paradoxica: Time travel is this show’s bitch. No, seriously. Set in an alternate history-afied 1940s, ars Paradoxica handles the often-complicated trope of time travel with grace and creativity, providing several twists you won’t see coming. Starring my newest fictional wife, the utterly adorkable Sally Grissom, the show features some stellar voice acting, and continuity down to the tiniest detail. It actually finds a way to subtly use transitions like an actual TV show, and the sound effects are just killer. Once you start binging it, the story grabs ahold of you and utterly refuses to let go. While the pacing is a bit speedy, the drunk scientists in Vegas plotline is well worth it, and sets ars Paradoxica at a must-listen for any podcast fan.
The Bright Sessions: Before I begin, I just want to say that I wish my therapy sessions had been this exciting. The Bright Sessions is the audio recordings of Dr. Bright, a psychologist who specializes in the atypical. And by atypical, I mean superpowers. For those who like science fiction, but with a more slice-of-life feel, The Bright Sessions is a treat. It features a surprisingly complex antagonist, that pesky corrupt corporation that keeps showing up in podcasts these days, two female characters that I really wish went to my school, and an adorably awkward teenage romance… between two boys. Yep, this show has queer representation, and deals with it like it’s just a normal, everyday thing, which it is. Along with a very soothing atmosphere, when plot bombs aren’t being dropped, of course, The Bright Sessions is a great show for fans who want a unique take on what it means to be out of the norm.
Wolf 359: So, y’know that mood-whiplash podcast that literally everyone has been talking about? Yeah, that’s Wolf 359. Following the audio logs of loveable asshole, Comms Officer Doug Eiffel, the show is bar none, the best fictional podcast out there. No shit. It has everything you could possibly want: cool adventures in space? Check. Found family trope used to perfection? Check. Insanely complex characters and sympathetic villains who really make you question your own morals? Check. An even gender divide and strong female characters written the right way? Check to the max. The show deserves every ounce of praise it gets, and then some. The writing is witty, smart and thought-provoking, the soundtrack is gorgeous, the cast is insanely talented and wonderful and I love them all dearly, and the fandom is the best I’ve ever been in. I am not an emotional person, but this show has made me break down sobbing, and have trouble breathing from laughing so hard. Everything about it is incredible, and I implore you to give it a listen. You really won’t regret it.
Alice Isn’t Dead: Anyone who listens to Welcome to Night Vale has heard of this, and I’m here to tell you that it’s worth the hype. Alice Isn’t Dead follows one woman’s country-wide search for her wife via a truck, and that search gets dark, fast. Jasika Nicole once again does a masterful job of bringing her character to life, the writing is just as profound and weird as you’d expect from Fink, and the whole has a very creepy Americana feel that I like a lot. The story is just beginning to unwind, and whoo boy is it one that has me hooked.
The Black Tapes Podcast/TANIS: I’m grouping these two together, and both are worth your time. The Black Tapes Podcast follows cinnamon roll reporter Alex Reagan, and human ball of awkward darkness Richard Strand, as they unravel the mystery of the Strand Institution’s mysterious black tapes, a collection of unsolved cases involving the paranormal. It’s very creepy, very complicated, and very good. Both characters have secrets, and both are interesting as heck. TANIS is Alex’s producer, Nic Silver’s, quest to to discover what exactly the myth of TANIS actually is. He is joined by “information specialist”, Meerkatnip, who could beat me up and I would thank her. In terms of mystery, they end up getting a lot more than they bargained for, and you will too.
Limetown: Lia Haddock, investigative reporter for APR, is precious and perfect and must be protected at all costs. Unfortunately, she has literally no self-preservation. About 10 years ago, a research town out in the prairie called Limetown, caught the attention of the world when, after a 911 call, became completely void of any people. Now, with survivors contacting her and the mystery unfolding, Lia is doing literally whatever it takes to uncover the truth. The mystery and science fiction genres blend very nicely here, and there are several twists that shocked me. The writing is very gripping and neat, and the various survivors were all a treat to listen to. If you liked Serial, you’ll love Limetown.
Wooden Overcoats: Move over Cabin Pressure, there’s a new British podcast sitcom in town, and it’s great at being great. Wooden Overcoats follows the shenanigans of twins Rudyard and Antigone Funn, and their assistant Georgie Crusoe, as they engage in a pathetically one-sided rivalry with newcomer Eric Chapman over who is the best funeral home on the tiny island of Piffling Vale. Oh, and the mouse is the narrator, and she’s awesome. All the girls are, actually. There’s character development galore, snappy dialogue that had me kneeling over with laughter, a really neat and well-developed setting, and oh yeah, it’s British. Plus, the mayor and the reverend hook up, and it’s sickeningly adorable, and also gay. Everyone is so well written, and I honestly cannot gush enough about how wonderful and funny this show is.
EOS 10: As my friend Keelin once eloquently put it, EOS 10 is like Scrubs in space with conspiracy theories. Also, pretty much no one is completely straight. Following the most unorthodox bunch of medical professionals I have ever witnessed, plus one deposed prince-turned saucier, and a not-actually-terrorist who is thirsty af, the show features the headache-inducingly-insane happenings on EOS 10, an intergalactic travel hub set far in the future. And yet, we still have anti-vaxxers. Sorry, society. On the bright side: found family trope! Canon queer characters! A wonderful and awesome main romance that I ship like fedex! Mature and insightful handling of addiction! Girls who could kick my ass and I would thank them for it! Did I mention that everyone’s a little bit gay! Also, an autistic-coded main character (fucking fight me on this istg) and more conspiracies than Jane has hobbies. Everyone is so likable and well written, the comedy is pitch-perfect, and the world-building is really great. Oh, and the plot kick-starts in the episode where they have to fix an erection that won’t go away. It’s my second favorite podcast out there, and I implore you to give it a listen.
Summary: You and Jughead have been seeing each other regularly but you haven’t told your parents. When you ask him to go with you to a family member’s wedding, you figure it would be the perfect time to tell your mom and dad. But your mom let her disapproval be known during an argument with you and Jughead unfortunately overheard the conversation.
“Come on, please?” You begged as you slid a plate of fries towards your boyfriend who was sitting next to you at a booth at Pop’s. His arms were crossed, showing his disinterest in your proposal and his refusal to accept your bribes. His expression was hard and stern.
“Pop,” you called to the man walking past your booth when Jughead wouldn’t budge. “Can I get a cheeseburger, please?” You asked.
Jughead slouched in the booth. “Not fair,” he said. “You know I can’t say no when a burger’s involved.”
You laughed and turned to him. “I really want you to go to my aunt’s wedding with me,” you told him again. “It’ll be so boring without you.”
“Take someone else,” he said as he ate a fry and shrugged his shoulders.
A pout danced on your lips. “I want you.”
Jughead looked at you. “I promise you that I would be no fun at a wedding. I’m not even fun now.” He laughed.
You rolled your eyes. “You know that’s not true. Come on, please? I’ll pay you in food.” You laughed and pushed the fries closer to him.
He closed his eyes and thought for a few seconds before taking a deep breath. “I hope you know how many burgers it’s going to take.”
You grinned and kissed him. “Thank you,” you said against his lips. “I promise it won’t be that bad. We’ll just go in, say hi, eat, maybe dance, then leave.”
Jughead’s eyes widened. “I didn’t agree to dancing,” he told you.
“Fries!” You held the plate up underneath his nose and he laughed, playfully pushing them away.
“Alright, alright. One dance.” He smiled at you. “Maybe two.”