i recite monologues

2

“At school, when I invited my parents to see a monologue I recited. They had no idea that there was this part of me that could stand on stage. At one point I met a gaze of my father, and at the same time there embarrassment and full of satisfaction. And I felt something I had never heard before, a transcendental moment of pride, of omnipotence and connection with myself. After we never talked about that moment again. I was embarrassed, it was as if they had seen me naked in front of everyone.”  - Rami Malek for Vanity Fair Italia, 2016.

2

At school, when I invited my parents to see a monologue I recited. They had no idea that there was this part of me that could stand on stage. At one point I met a gaze of my father, and at the same time there embarrassment and full of satisfaction. And I felt something I had never heard before, a transcendental moment of pride, of omnipotence and connection with myself. After we never talked about that moment again. I was embarrassed, it was as if they had seen me naked in front of everyone.

I have the labyrinth of creases in your finger prints embedded in my brain.
And the low hum of your voice creates unforgettable symphonies in my ears.
I’ve never been good at memorizing things but recalling your lips as a crescent moon comes effortlessly.
And reliving that first moment you focused on me with that unquestionable look of bliss in your eyes is a daily routine for me.
I could recite your nightly monologue down to a tee.
I have the constellation of freckles that lie on your stomach memorized.
I tried not to do this, but you are the most addicting drug I’ve ever tried
Your fingers tracing my body makes me go numb. I just wish I could feel your finger prints on my skin.
And it’s times like this. When I’m laying in bed alone and I’m waiting for your arm to wrap around me and pull me closer to you.
That’s when I know I’m safe.
I have never felt safe in my whole life.
But you just some insignificant person, that should mean nothing to me changes that.
Such a short time ago I couldn’t have imagined you if I tired.
But now you’re all my brain can conjure up.
It’s just about as confused as my heart is