Sometimes I wish I could just… email professors and be like “Honestly I can’t turn in my assignment tonight because I’m in such a slump that I am on the verge of crying, feeling like an imposter and a huge failure of a person and a student, and want nothing more than to just completely quit. I’ll probably be better tomorrow or in a few days and will get it to you as soon as I’m mentally okay.”
But like, RL doesn’t work like that, and I highly doubt it’d work for a grad class assignment, but goodness fucking gracious I wish it would. I really do.
I just want to go home and curl up in my bed and cry a little bit maybe.
I had jury duty this week. I was picked for a trial on Wednesday and we finished up today. I had never sat on a jury before. Of the 35 people that were in my jury pool, I was rather appalled at some of the answers people gave when questioned, so I wasn’t too thrilled when I was finally selected. I know people say stuff to get out of serving, but jeesh. That said, my fellow jurors turned out to be a diverse, thoughtful, and sharp group (I guess those questions really do a pretty good job of weeding out the trouble spots). I learned a lot about the process, and met a lot of nice people. A very rewarding experience.
Me on the first day of a big snow. “Oh it’s so pretty and peaceful! I love it.” Me on day three of snow: “I wish this shit would melt already.”
I keep waiting for 2017 to get back to “normal.” Well, I think I should just stop waiting for that to happen. The Mexico trip, the flu, jury duty, and the political climate have all been rather disrupting. Oh, and my dad’s in the hospital. Again. And I still have a nasty cough.
When I was in high school, Mr. Urling took our You and the Law class to Pierce County Superior court in Tacoma to sit in on some court cases. He wanted to show us that a real courtroom was not like L.A. Law. It was incredibly tedious, and the attorneys read from legal pads. No grandstanding or powerful objections. BORING. That visit made a big impression on me. I went to the same courthouse this week for jury duty, and not much had changed. There is a whole lot of procedure and a whole bunch of hurry up and wait. The law is incredibly important, but I still don’t regret not going to law school. A big thanks to those who did, and who are standing up for what is right.
True story, before I graduated from college, I read a pamphlet that said, “Do you think like an attorney, but don’t want to be one?” Or something like that. Anyway, it was a brochure for Social Security, and that genius marketing worked. Turned out great for me. Although I would have made an amazing Lionel Hutz.
@hobbotch requested tree or plant in #20, for the color palette challenge. After much deliberation, I decided to go with some mushrooms, because I love mushrooms. To look at. Not to eat. Gross. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to paint mushrooms for a while now, so this was a good opportunity.
I forced myself to slow down a bit and do a more detailed sketch than I usually do. I hate sketching, so I usually do something really sloppy. Which would be fine, except I find myself redoing parts over and over again when I’m in the painting phase. I think more detailed sketches will help me with that. So even though this piece was simple enough that a detailed sketch wasn’t necessary, probably, I did one anyway.
Overall I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. I wish my dark color had been more in the reds range. It looks black, but is really a very dark yellow, and so some of the browns that I ended up mixing are super pretty. But that’s just the nature of these challenges. I also had the challenge of parts of the mushrooms being out of focus (the underside of the large mushroom, for instance). Painting things out of focus is quite difficult, so I think those areas just look like I didn’t work at them, instead of being blurry. Oh well. I’ll keep practicing with that in future studies.
Up next, @hobbotch also requested eyes in #42. This will be the first cool palette I’ve had since starting these challenges, so that should be fun!
I wish we saw more, or really any, of Illyana Rasputin and Laura Kinney interacting, because there are quite a few notable parallels in their stories.
Specifically, either one of them is:
An innocent child, taken by men who tortured them to turn them into monsters
Kept for years in a world that would only ever hurt them. There was certainly a man at the top, but many subordinates to ensure that everything was hell.
Even the people in the world who were kind of on the good side would use the girl for their own purposes; specifically their focus is on destroying the system, not protecting the girl. Storm and Cat care more about taking down Belasco. Sarah Kinney wants to shut down Weapon X, and also borrows X-23 to save her niece. While that is heroic, it’s also very clear that Laura didn’t consent to that, and wouldn’t know how anyway.
The bad guys succeeded, more or less. They managed to twist and break something. The Darkchylde is a part of Illyana; the supreme murderer is a part of Laura. They hurt people that way, and the pain of that will never leave them.
Their origin story ends with them finally taking agency and more or less murdering their way out of the facilities they’re in, but it’s clear that the damage done is irrevocable.
Outside, they try to connect to teenagers their own age, and it’s problematic as hell. Illyana tries to hide her demon side from the New Mutants, and gets very negative reactions when they find out. Laura does not try to hide anything, and gets very negative reactions right from the start. It takes them a long time to get over that.
Then there’s a lot of ups and downs to bring them to today, the post Secret-Wars world, where they’re both pretty much in a good place. Laura is definitely in one, having finally essentially completed her first character arc. She became the superhero she always wanted to be. Illyana is responsible for and trusted with keeping an entire school and refugee camp safe.
And both get to raise a mini-me version of themselves with similar powers and thematic elements. Laura has Gabby, her own clone created for the same purposes. Illyana has Sapsa, who also gets to spend her childhood in Limbo, has teleportation powers and a connection to demons. And to make the legacy really explicit, Yana gives her her old New Mutants uniform. Either way, the women want to make sure that their new little sisters manage to get through their character arc without all the pain and mistakes that they were dealt, and it’s really sweet.
And then there’s the weird but thematically appropriate pet: Jonathan the actual Wolverine, Boogers the pet demon.
Illyana and Laura are more or less the same archetype, exploring the same themes. I really would like to see a story where these two got a cup of coffee together (or, since it’s superheroes, where they talked about this stuff while fighting bacteria that infected Galactus). The differences between the two are just as interesting as the similarities, too.
Some bonus similarities (as in, they’re superficially similar, but the actual execution and the themes are very different):
There’s a family who is visited at the end of their origin story, and then never mentioned again. Illyana visits her parents briefly in Magik #4; Laura has Megan.
They also have an older brother of sorts. Piotr is a lot better at that than Logan (who was later redefined as father, but his performance was abysmal in either way).
Bendis describes them as not the hugging type, unless it’s with someone they have a mutual crush on. For Laura, that’s Scott Summers the younger; for Illyana, it’s Kitty Pryde. Note: While Bendis’s Kitty is far from the most queer Kitty ever, the Kittyana subtext in All-New X-Men is way stronger than the actual Scott/Laura text. Which is still more than the thing with Angel.
I really wish that Sirius and Regulus had had a good relationship. Like, could you imagine if Reg had been a Marauder? He’d be like the midway point between Remus and Sirius, smart and level headed but also a bit of an instigator and the mastermind behind some of their pranks. I think he’d still be a Slytherin since he was resourceful and cunning and clever and there’s no doubt that he valued fraternity seeing as how he was very loyal to his house and I doubt he ever sold Sirius out to Orion and Walburga no matter what he did, but that would make it even better. It’d promote interhouse relations and Sirius would have someone to turn to in his family besides Andromeda. I just really wish that Reg and Sirius had had a good relationship.
I’m writing too many letters I know, but it is the only thing that I have, you are the only. I’ve tried so hard to be how he wish that i would be, but I can’t. I’ve tried so hard about everything, but I’m still not good enough. Not enough, not enough. There is a voice in my head whispering this phrase all the day, and God, this is so painful. Please, make it stop. When is my turn to have just one friend? When? Please Charlie, make it stop. Make all this pain goes away from me, just for a few days. I really need a beak from that. I just need a friend, And now Charlie, now you are the one. Thank you Charlie, love you so much.
treadingonshadows asked: Hello! :D All the best in your blog honey! I’m just wondering what kind of pranks would the GOM + Hanamiya + Himuro + Kagami play on their S/O? Thank you <3
So many good wishes for me! I really need them so it’s much appreciated~ This turned out to be more ‘teasing’ rather than pranks.
Kuroko Tetsuya: Although part of why Tetsuya loves you is because you notice him, you’re still getting used to the Phantom Man’s lack of presence. He bends this ability to his will on the rare occasion that he feels like teasing you, popping up behind you or in the most random places; it’s actually quite terrifying.
Kagami Taiga: Although his grades for English are atrocious, Seirin’s ace is fluent in speaking the language. You often beg him to teach you how to converse in English but due to Taiga’s rather lacking teaching skills your speaking comes out rather… Interestingly. The end result is usually Kagami laughing his ass off with you rather pissed off due to his teasings when really: it’s his fault!
Kise Ryōta: Although Kise would suspect he would be a bragging point in your life; you never did try to flaunt him, which is part of the reason why he loved you so dearly. In fact, you grew rather annoyed when your striking model boyfriend tried to use his beauty and fame to keep you to himself. Ryōta will often whine when he sees you around your male friends, checking in to make sure they don’t have any deep feelings for you and will insist you tell them that you are dating the Kise Ryōta (as if they don’t know that). You know he does this just to annoy you, which makes you even more annoyed, but Kise loves the reaction every single time because it reminds him just how much and exactly why he loves you.
Aomine Daiki: You really did have to hand it to Momoi: keeping track of Aomine Daiki could take years off of your life. Besides being horribly lazy and childish, you find your boyfriend’s perverseness is off the charts! He’ll often make innuendos at school, or risk getting the both of you in trouble with his wandering hands or his too long kisses. Aomine knows it annoys you, but teasing you and getting hit for being a “dirty pervert” was so worth it because your reactions were just so damn, cute.
Midorima Shintarō: Shintarō refuses to intentionally tease someone (because God knows how annoying that is, why would you intentionally annoy someone unless you were that idiot Takao?!) but the fact that he carts around those interesting lucky items of his as well as insisting that you take yours is irritating. In all honesty, at least 95% of what your motherly boyfriend nags you about is those ridiculous items. Your Shin-chan could press you about anything under the sun but he chooses that.
Murasakibara Atsuhi: Yōsen’s center is infamous for being ridiculously childish, and although it can be adorable, sometimes it’s tiring. You find it especially irritating when Atsuhi teases you for being tiny (he was the large one!) when he’s clearly the more childish of the two of you. It was silly but oddly frustrating, especially since he did it on purpose.
Himuro Tatsuya: Having grown up in the states, Tatsuya is a bit more outgoing than most Japanese boys and his produced a habit of going shirtless at home. While he tells you it isn’t unusual in America, you find it to be so erotic… Generally Himuro is kind, sweet, and overall perfectly gentlemanly, but he does like to have his fun once in a while and uses this approach on you. While it irritates you that he’s teasing you, you can’t bring yourself to call him out on it because you don’t want him to have proof that you are looking and have further reasons to tease you.
Akashi Seijūrō: The Rakuzan captain simply enjoys teasing you just by telling you how simply adorable you are, and how much he, Akashi Seijūrō, adores you. The red haired teen find that he likes this method the best, and the reactions he receives are the best rewards.
Hanamiya Makoto: Makoto will use anything he can find on you to tease you. While being his lover means that he’s slightly kinder to you (he’s not mean more just teasing), it doesn’t do a whole lot. He’ll take your past plights and remember them, using his sharp intellect to weave them into your lives in the best ways possible. Hanamiya finds that your embarrassed and flustered expressions are simply delicious~
Even though Kai was on the show for only one season (16 episodes) as the “villain”, we loved him so much because he was this complex, twisted, charming, hot, hilarious and amazing character. We know what he did was unforgiveable but he was trying to change and be good. He felt bad for all the things he did, so he wanted to apologize and make up for it. He fucking tried. And we know that he felt something for Bonnie. Kai even risked his life to save her.
The fact that he is dead and written off makes me so angry. It’s like he never mattered. But the sad thing is, that it’s true. Nobody ever really cared about him.
I wish we would have gotten to know him better. Tvd left so much out like his past, why he snapped and turned evil, I mean Kai wasn’t just born a sociopath. I also wanna know why it was the most important thing for him to become the leader of the coven. I wanted to see how he managed to be in the prison world all by himself for 18 freaking years, how he reacted when he saw Damon and Bonnie and how he was following them. I wanted to know what he wrote in the letter for Joe and how he felt when he saw Bonnie trying to kill herself in the prison world. But most of all I wanted to see how Kai couldn’t stop thinking about Bonnie and how his guilt kept him up at night.
It is a shame that the writers destroyed his development by turning him bad again. I mean the merge “cured” him and gave him the ability to feel empathy and guilt. At that point he wanted to get better and make up for what he did because he felt really sorry. And all of a sudden he is insane Kai again? I mean I can understand why he snapped after Bonnie left him there. He was used, tricked and left alone again. But that writing just sucks. I’ll continue pretending that 6x22 never happened.
Request from Anon: Could you please do a smut story with sehun <3??? It would be nice when its about not being really confident about your Body and sehun is comforting you. Hope you understood it, my english isnt very good :D
Word Count: 1,529
Rating: M~ Smutty smut smut.
Eeep I hope you enjoy lovely! I really like the way this turned out! <3 (your english is fine btw!)
Stop stressing outabout your body…
I sighed, wishing I’d actually take the advice I was giving
myself at the moment. Arms crossed against my chest as I stared at myself in
the mirror, looking at every single part of my body and judging way too harshly
on myself. I always liked…or at least tolerated my body, and at times I’d even feel
confident. But these past couple of months…it’s been different.
I hope amazing things are happening for you. & I hope soon, you will be happier than you’ve ever been in a long time. Genuinely happy. The kind of happy where you feel like you’re alive for the first time ever. The kind of happy where you feel as if you’re living in a dream because everything is turning out exactly how you always wished it would, or even better. The kind of happy where you just want to pinch yourself to see if you’re really awake because everything feels so incredible & surreal.
that upd8 fucked me up, but i have some things to say.
i am incredibly sad with meenah’s choice, but i can already see the meenah hate arising. meenah has no reason to be hated for leaving a relationship she was unhappy with. sure, she could have stayed and talked it out a little. i really wish she would have. but before you guys start throwing complete shade at meenah, please consider the following:
• meenah’s life was constantly consisting of adventure and thrill. it is odd to her to just be sitting and doing nothing while having no purpose.
• (vriska) HAS changed. some people may view it for bad, and some for good. although she may ultimately be a better person, she doesn’t have the spunk that meenah fell in love with.
• meenah isn’t necessarily a good person. if you look at her past, she tormented damara until she turned to a raging homicide, blew up all her team mates, ect. so why would she stay with the new and improved (vriska)?
• meenah is not heartless. at the end of the upd8 she is seen crying. it’s obvious that she feels bad for hurting someone she loves.
• along with her crying, it can also be interpreted as her wishing that her and (vriska’s) relationship was the same as it always was. this change must have hurt her a lot.