i really wish i could believe this

I think the fatal flaw in most of the characters on the tapes is that they are selfish. So, so, selfish. They are teenagers, so this comes as no surprise. Even Hannah. Justin wanted to keep his gf and bff, so he ignored what happened, Marcus wanted to keep his social standing, Courtney wasn’t ready for people to know she’s a lesbian, Alex used Hannah to get back and Jess and then didn’t refute it (in the locker room) because it made him look better, Ryan wanted his zine to be popular, Sheri wasn’t willing to face the consequences of her actions, Bryce took whatever he wanted (and can go and fucking die) etc. 

But one character on the tapes that was not selfish was Clay. When he first met Hannah, he was awkward and nervous but polite. At that moment in time, I think the most he hoped for was being friends with Hannah. As the show progressed, so did their friendship and it flowered into an almost-relationship. 

At that moment in Hannah’s life, even though she wanted to be happy, even though she wanted to be with Clay, she couldn’t. She couldn’t wash away what had happened to her in the past even though she knew that Clay wouldn’t hurt her like the others did. She knew he was kind and decent and so unselfish. But in the case of Clay, this unselfishness may have been his downfall. 

See, he wanted Hannah. So much. But he never pushed and always did what she asked. This made the audience love him, and also Hannah. But Hannah had been friends with him for what, a year? She would know that he is timid and shy, especially when it comes to girls. She knew that when she told him to leave, he would leave. It was completely selfish and mean of her to tell Clay on the tapes that she wished he didn’t go. Did she not think that that would tear him apart?

Anyways, back to Clay. If Clay had been a little more selfish in that scene, like we saw when he said what he wished he had said, that could have made all the difference. If Hannah had known that just one person was on her side, I don’t think she would have killed herself. I really don’t. If Clay had been selfish for just a moment and had said, “No, I’m not going to leave until you tell me what’s going on,” like he wished he did, I truly believe Hannah would still be alive.

Types as Roommates (based on actual roommates I’ve had as an INTP)

ESFP:  Rarely around, because they are always out with friends.  When they are home they usually talk about how cool their lamp is.  And you don’t disagree, because it’s a pretty cool lamp.  “I really appreciate you, dude” they say everyday after their shift, until you hate them and their stinky socks all over the bathroom floor.

ENFP:  They are SO! EXCITED! that you’re finally home to hang out with them even though they’ve been going and doing things all week.  Dishes are everywhere.  The rabbit is out of his cage and has chewed through the electrical wires.  The fire alarm is going off again.

INFP:  The best thing about living with them is their music taste.   You keep asking yourself if they are really as laid back as they say they are?  Their poster selection is haphazard, their trash can is filled to the brim, and they show everyone who comes through their dorm their collection of vinyl sex feet.  However, one day you get a terrifying message via text.  You drank from their cup.  That was the special cup.  You shouldn’t have drank from that cup.

ISFP:  THC is more important to oxygen to them.  They line their room with trippy tapestries, and a list of “cartoon conspiracies” is listed on their door.  During that really promiscuous phase of yours, they didn’t say a thing every night you must have waken them up moaning.  You couldn’t believe that anyone could be so laid back.  Then, exams came.  No one had ever been more vigilent, and more terrified than they are during exam week.  “Aderall” your friends say, “They’re hyped up on amphetamines,” but you know what they’re like on amphetamines, and this is a step above.

INTP:  You’ve watched the same anime from start to finish 3 times this week, but you don’t have the nerve to tell them that you’re tired of it.  They’re taking up all of the couch space too.  Because while they might have spent the first 2 weeks of being moved in creating the perfectly efficient and comfortable bedroom (complete with a pillow fort), they fall asleep in the living room most nights with their heated blanket and a wikipedia article up on their laptop.  You peek at their laptop expecting to see something related to their favorite video game or the classes they are taking, but “substitutional insect genitalia”  doesn’t fit either of those categories.

ENTP:  When they have friends over, they don’t just have friends over.  The banter is endless and it almost always lasts until 5 am.  Their is only so much existential philosophy you can take, and that is literally none when it it is being shouted by drunken satanists during the golden hour.  

ISTP:  They really like sex.  Sex is their favorite subject and they feel the need to tell you that frequently.  If you don’t update them on your current sexual status, they might get a little bit grumpy.  Their pet names for you include “slut” and “bitch”.  They read trashy novels and their television choices are questionable to you, but it matters little because you have finally found a roommate that simultaneously respects your boundaries and recognizes you for the asshole you are.

ISFJ:  Tea has suddenly become very important to you.  You memorized your roommates favorite teas for every occasion, every ailment and every time of day, before you even realized it was happening.  You wonder how you know this, without even knowing their last name or what they do for a living.  What time do they come in at night?  Do they have friends?  What kind of music do they listen to?  You imagine that they spend most of their time with their family, and at work, but it’s anybodies guess.

ENFJ:  The greatest sin of yours, is the sink that you leave untouched.  Once a week, they clean it begrudgingly.  With passive-aggression with more fervor than all of the crusades.  They are experimenting with brewing beer and cider.  They are also studying seminary.  They never sleep.  You try to explain to friends of friends that your roommate is going to be in the ministry, but they never believe you, because they’ve only ever seen your roommate black-out wasted.  “Before I was a Christian,”  your roommate says drunkenly  “I would have considered myself bisexual”.  Your eyes have never rolled so far back into your head.  You really wish you could light a joint about now.

ESTJ:  Late night chats about the economy have never been so interesting, but really, they are not interesting enough.  Why in the fuck are you living with a business major?  You down another beer and go to bed with a nauseous feeling in your stomach.

INTJ:  You constantly wonder to yourself if the moderately clean kitchen is worth your roommate’s “quirks”.  They haven’t really done anything, but you’re afraid of them.  You’re too afraid to tell them that they are listening to their audiobooks of The Foundation Trilogy too loud, and you’re too afraid to tell them that you don’t like how they’ve replaced all of the regular lightbulbs with red ones.  Your sense of reality starts to disintegrate.  Is that blood in the fridge?  Are those dildos?  Their is a stack of papers on the coffee table which, as far as you know, are comprised entirely with the digits of pi.

ESFJ:  You still can’t get over the fact that your roommate has a sex schedule.  And more importantly, no concept of respectful noise levels while they do it.

INFJ:  You finally found that roommate that will just share quiet, peaceful company with you.  You play Okami, and they work on their novel.  You write your essays, and they put on Star Wars.  No words, just good vibes.  However, things have started to get weird since their SO broke up with them.  They adopted a dog without your permission, and they’re taking it back to the shelter tomorrow because a two bedroom apartment isn’t big enough for a greyhound.  They keep asking you to cuddle them, and you are running out of polite ways to say “fuck off”.


Sorry that I missed a few types ..

taylor swift in 2014: For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?…She did something so horrible. I was like, 'Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ And it wasn’t even about a guy! It had to do with business. She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me. And I’m surprisingly non-confrontational – you would not believe how much I hate conflict. So now I have to avoid her. It’s awkward, and I don’t like it. Sometimes the lines in a song are lines you wish you could text-message somebody in real life. I would just be constantly writing all these zingers – like, 'Burn. That would really get her.’ And I know people are going to obsess over who it’s about, because they think they have all my relationships mapped out. But there’s a reason there are not any overt call-outs in that song. My intent was not to create some gossip-fest. I wanted people to apply it to a situation where they felt betrayed in their own lives.

katy perry in 2017: It’s about backing dancers. It’s so crazy! OK, so there are three backing dancers that went on tour with her tour, right? And they asked me before they went on tour if they could go, and I was like, ‘Yeah, of course. I’m not on a record cycle, and get the work, and she’s great and all that. But I will be on a record cycle in about a year, so be sure to put a 30-day contingency in your contract so you can get out if you want to join me when I say I’m going back on.’ So that year came up, right? And I texted all of them—because I’m very close with them—and I said, ‘Look, just FYI: I’m about to start, I want to put the word out there.’ And they said, ‘All right, we’re going to talk to management about it.’ And they did. And they got fired. And I tried to talk to her about it, and she wouldn’t speak to me.It was a full shutdown and then she writes a song about me. There’s a situation. Honestly, she started it and it’s time for her to finish it. And I tried to talk to her about it, and she wouldn’t speak to me… It was a full shut down and then she writes a song about me. And I’m like, ‘Okay, cool, cool, cool, that’s how you want to deal with it?’ Karma! I’m ready for that B.S. to be done.  Now, there is the law of cause and effect. You do something, and there is going to be a reaction. And trust me, daddy, there’s going to be a reaction. I think personally that women together, not divided – and like none of this petty sh-t – women together will heal the world.

people who don’t realise taylor put all this info on the table herself 3 years ago:

You gave me life.
You gave me soul.
I gave you my heart.
I gave you my whole.
I shouldn’t have been such a fool.

You made me feel safe.
You made me feel free.
When you said you loved me,
I believed it could really be.
To me, you were an angel….

When you moved away,
It hurt me to the core,
And left my heart astray.

When I realized I wasn’t enough,
I wished I could have been more.
But later, I realized you were the devil
In the shape of a whore.

The pain I felt,
Was harder than this liquor I poured.
As the liquor flowed,
So did my tears.
After enough drops,
The pain would fade away.

I was covered in scars,
But unlike my pain, these stay.
You betrayed me,
And then you left me.

The ‘friend’ he once was,
Turned into something more.
You left me in the shadows,
And left my heart sore.

A year later,
I am happy with the choice you made.
Because in the end,
I was saved.
And all you did was dig your own grave.

—  Angel
A Poem by @trentonbaird96
Fanfic Prompt List

Reblog this. Readers send a fandom (and a pairing, if you’re into that) +  a number to your Ask. You write a fic/drabble using that line in your piece. Yay, more fic!

  1. “It wasn’t your fault.”
  2. “You love me as if I deserve you.”
  3. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
  4. “I really wish you’d told me your mother was in town.”
  5. “You don’t believe in an afterlife?”
  6. “I just came to say goodbye.”
  7. “I never say no to a picnic.”
  8. “There’s only one bed.”
  9. “You don’t remember last night at all, do you?”
  10. “You’re wrong and I’ll prove it.”
  11. “A woman’s sexuality is a moving target.”
  12. “You’re a genius with facts, but you’re really stupid with people.”
  13. “I made the mistake of thinking ‘This can’t get weirder.’ Sorry.”
  14. “We’re in love with the same person. Friendships have been built on less common ground.”
  15. “I didn’t know you could dance like that!”
  16. “I found it in the recycling bin.”
  17. “I know what I want, when I want it. So get over here.”
  18. “This is… exactly what it looks like.”
  19. “There’s so much blood.”
  20. “You should see me in my old uniform. I’m pretty sure it still fits.”
  21. “I know you really want to hang it on the wall, but…”
  22. “I hate everything about Christmas except…”
  23. “We bet and you lost, so you have to do it.”
  24. “Is that a tattoo?”
  25. “I could tell it was your favorite book because of all the notes you wrote in the margins.”
  26. “What do you think?  Is purple my color?”
  27. “That is way too expensive.”
  28. “Girls night in?”
  29. “I never imagined myself in a wedding dress.”
  30. “I was scared and I ran.”
  31. “I’m yours, in every way you’ll have me.”
  32. “You’re acting like this is your first threesome.”
  33. “The bow was perfect before, but then I got paranoid and had to check to make sure it was still in there.”
  34. “You might not like me, but you definitely want me.”
  35. “If a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken, but I’d also shoot you twice in the head.”
  36. “I’d be fine having sex with the same person for the rest of my life, if it wasn’t the same sex every single time.”
  37. “I want to hike up your skirt and take you right here.”
  38. “I lost the baby.”
  39. “I love you. I just love her more.”
  40. “A package arrived for you, but there’s no return address and the box looks really old.”
  41. “If I die, I’m going to haunt you.”
  42. “I didn’t say “sex party” as in orgy.  I said “hex party” as in witches.”
  43. “You wanted me to walk in on you.”
  44. “This is a totally inappropriate soundtrack.”
  45. “Let’s get wasted and then go piss on his grave.”
  46. “I scalped my Hamilton tickets to pay for it.”
  47. “Hold my hand until it’s over?”
  48. “If you want to get me naked, you’ll have to convince me it’ll be worth my time.”
  49. “I’m a level 72 Rogue and if you tell anyone, I’ll deny it and I will kill you.”
  50. Author’s choice!
Masterlist - Updated 30/4/17

Originally posted by sebastiansource

- read my masterlist here . Please come and let me know your favourites -

Series

Training With Bucky - A series of connected one shots of what’s like to train with Bucky Barnes based off these headcanons here - Part 1

Ficmas - A series of christmas drabbles - Masterlist

Daddy Drabbles - A series of drabbles which detail the adventures of our favourite characters as fathers - Masterlist

100 Kinks - 100 kinky drabbles to celebrate Bucky’s 100th birthday (smut)

Front Line Love - Reader a nurse during WW2 finds herself at the same camp as Bucky. - Part 1, Part 2 (smut)

Riding in cars with boys - A smutty drabble series featuring all our favourite Sebastian Stan characters in cars, so come along for the ride. - Part 1: Carter

Bucky x Reader- Prompt drabbles

“I’m tired of being your secret”/“Sometimes, there is nothing better than some good old-fashioned, no string attached fucking” (SMUT)

“Will you just tell me the truth?”

“You don’t need to protect me”/“Didn’t realise I needed your permission”

“I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Bucky + knives + dirty talk (SMUT)

Under the table at black tie gala (SMUT")

“It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”

“Welcome to fatherhood”

“Stop being so cute”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“I’m not buying IKEA furniture again.”

Keep reading

I’m alone
i’m unwanted
i’m undesired
i’m worthless
i’m a burden
i’m a freak
i’m an anomaly
i’m the problem

“you’re not alone. you are loved. I’ll always be here for you”

Comprehensive List of Ryden Songs

For anon! Marking the songs written by Ryan as R and Brendon as B 

Northern Downpour: R The Ryden Song. 

  • Ryan told Brendon to pay special attention to the line ‘I know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home’
  • Brendon has broken down many times while performing it post split and doesn’t sing it anymore
  • ‘I missed your skin when you were east’ is believed to be a reference to the Seattle lore. 
  • ‘Hey moon, please forget to fall down’ - Sun & Moon theory  

When The Day Met The Night: R obvious Sun & Moon theory also here Brendon uses male pronouns in the second verse!

Cape Town: R by The Young Veins, Ryan and Jon’s band, post split

  • Cape Town was the last show Panic played before they split
  • Includes the line ‘I loved you, I left you in Cape Town’
  • Ryan has also said the split was like breaking up with a girlfriend

The Other Girl: R 

  • ‘Don’t have much to say right now, Cause I’m trying to figure out, Why he’s with the other girl’ wow need I say more?

Bittersweet: B 

  • ‘I’ve been to Tokyo and to South Africa’ Cape Town is in South Africa and it’s like a response to Cape Town
  • ‘You could tell me secrets that I’ll probably repeat
    I’m not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak’  
    we know Ry is a secretive person and Brendon has a big mouth so yeah 

Nearly Witches: R+B ahhh The Song Of Salt and pain

  • Ryan wrote the song during the cabin days, but later Brendon used it on V&V with some modifications
  • basically he changed it from a creepy, spooky song to a romantic thing
  • also he changed Ryan’s ‘as a boy’ to ‘as a girl’
  • AND THE Main Thing: Brendon mocked Ryan’s original lyrics ‘here I am composing a burlesque’ Very Frequently by singing it in a.. camp way.. and thrusting his hips etc

Memories: B check this out

The Calendar: B subtlety has never been B’s best suite 

  • This is officially about the split and Ryan and Jon. Like confirmed.
  • but  ‘And I meant everything I said that night
    I will come back to life, But only for you’ 
  • ‘Put another ex on the calendar, Summer’s on its deathbed’ -Sun & Moon theory  
  • ‘at night your body’s a symphony, and I’m conducting’…!!

Hurricane: B 

  • Cause they know, I know that they don’t look like me.
    Oh, they know, I know that they don’t sound like me.  -
    referring to the young veins changing their style 
  • But he didn’t come and speak to me, Or put my heart at ease.

Casual Affair: B

  • preceded by an anti gay message from an old film during live shows
  • which possibly implies it’s about a gay affair? I think brendon said it was about fantasizing etc so yeah

Nicotine: B brendon’s denied it, but a lot of people think the muffled intro sounds like I love you Ryan Ross, but not right now…

Lonely Moonlight: R  Ryan’s solo work

  • ‘When I had a younger heart, You told me not to fear the dark’
  • ‘Someone I love loves someone else’  awww poor bb
  • also even the title is Sun & Moon theory

Where I Belong: R again one of Ry’s 2014 demos

  • If you wanna see the sun, You’re gonna have to dig your way out - Sun & Moon theory 
  • I know I should’ve never left, I’d gotten tired being buried -possibly he was tired of hiding behind Brendon’s voice for his words, but he regrets leaving
  • I hope that I’ve still got your help - Ryan’s actually said he’s not against working with panic again

Impossible Year: B

  • There’s no sunshine, This impossible year - Sun & Moon theory  
  • bitter pills, tattoos, last bruises, no you and me

House of Memories: B he’s not subtle lmao

  • Memories turn into daydreams, Become a taboo 
  • I think of you from time to time, More than I thought I would….You were just too kind And I was too young to know 
  • Those thoughts of past lovers, They’ll always haunt me.. I wish I could believe, You’d never wronged me 
  • honestly, brendon didn’t really have very serious relationships before Sarah so who is he talking about?? (ryanryanryan)

Golden Days: B the throam song (I’m looking @ u anna green)

  • I found a pile of Polaroids, In the crates of a record shop 
  • Boy he was something debonair in 1979
  • Time can never break your heart but it’ll take the pain away
4

I moved here from Bergen in the 7th grade. No one wanted to hang out with me because I talk so weird. You were the only one who took care of me. I couldn’t believe the most popular girls in our class wanted to be friends with me. I always really looked up to you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Just the thought of me destroying that makes me feel sick. More than sick. It made me stop liking myself as a person. But I can’t continue having regrets for the rest of my life. It wasn’t going well between you and Jonas. You talked about breaking up with him every day. I know that’s not an excuse, but… I loved him. I wish I could do it all over again, completely different. But I can’t. I’m just going to have to accept it and move on. I’m saying this for the last time. Okay?

11:28 pm Bus Rides

(gif not mine!)

“Can I…hold your hand for the rest of the ride?”

Summary: When all you wanted for Zach was happiness.

Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Warning: Light Fluff

HEY GUYS! this is my first ever fic/imagine so I hope you like it! :) 

11:28 p.m. Bus Rides

 I get on the bus out of breath, merely from sprinting to the stop with weak legs and a heavy bag. I was stunned that there was still a bus going around the city at this time. Regularly, my brother picks me up from work, but today he had to work late too.

 My eyes wander to the vacant seat beside this boy who had his head down. He was wearing a black sweater that matched his natural hair. As I was about to sit down, his lonely eyes look into mine. Zach Dempsey.


Keep reading

Death of a Bachelor starters

VICTORIOUS.

‘ tonight we are victorious. ’
‘ all my friends were glorious. ’
‘ let me be your killer king. ’
‘ it hurts until it stops. ’
‘ my touch is black and poisonous. ’
‘ I know you need it. do you feel it ? ’
‘ drink the water, drink the wine. ’
‘ we gotta turn up the crazy. ’
‘ I’m like a scarf trick, it’s all up the sleeve. ’
‘ I taste like magic. ’
‘ Throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. ’
‘ 50 words for murder and I’m every one of them. ’

DON’T THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME.

‘ it’s a hell of a feeling, though. ’
‘ who are these people ? ’
‘ I just woke up in my underwear. ’
‘ I should probably introduce myself. ’
‘ there’s no such thing as getting out of hand. ’
‘ memories tend to just pop up. ’
‘ don’t think I’ll ever get enough. ’
‘ champagne, cocaine, gasoline– and most things in between. ’
‘ I roam the city in a shopping cart. ’
‘ this night is heating up. ’
‘ raise hell and turn it up. ’
‘ If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe. ’
‘ don’t threaten me with a good time. ’
‘ what are these footprints? they don’t look very human-like. ’
‘ Now I wish that I could find my clothes. ’
‘ I wanna wake up, can’t even tell if this is a dream. ’
‘ how did we end up in my neighbor’s pool ? ’

HALLELUJAH.

‘ A moment you’ll never remember, and a night you’ll never forget. ’
‘ Show praise with your body. ’
‘ Say your prayers. ’
‘ My life started the day I got caught. ’
‘ the time for being sad is  over. ’
‘ you miss them like you miss no other. ’
‘ being blue is better than being over it. ’
‘ I was drunk and it didn’t mean a thing. ’
‘ I love the things you hate about yourself. ’
‘ just finished a daydream. ’
‘ no one wants you when you have no heart. ’
‘ I’m sitting pretty in my brand new scars. ’
‘ You’ll never know if you don’t ever try again, so let’s try. ’

EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES.

‘ finders keepers, losers weepers. ’
‘ welcome to the end of eras. ’
‘ dress me up and watch me die. ’
‘ if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. ’
‘ you just might see a ghost tonight. ’
‘ And if you don’t know, now you know. ’
‘ I’m taking back the crown. ’
‘ I’m all dressed up and naked. ’
‘ I see what’s mine and take it. ’
‘ so close, I can taste it. ’
‘ I’m so much more than royal. ’
‘ Heroes always get remembered, but you know legends never die. ’
‘ welcome to my world of fun. ’

DEATH OF A BACHELOR.

‘ do I look lonely ? ’
‘ people have told me I don’t look the same. ’
‘ maybe I lost weight. ’
‘ I’m playing hooky with the best of the best. ’
‘ I’m walking the long road, watching the sky fall. ’
‘ how could I ask for more ? ’
‘ a lifetime of laughter and the expense of the death of a bachelor. ’
‘ it feels like my heart is going to burst. ’
‘ and when you think of me am I the best you’ve ever had ? ’
‘ share one more drink with me, smile even though you’re sad. ’

CRAZY=GENIUS.

‘ you can set yourself on fire. ’
‘ you dance on a tightrope of weird. ’
‘ but when I wake up you’re so normal that you just disappear. ’
‘ there’s no residue of a torturer inside of your eyes. ’
‘ then I’m a fucking arsonist. ’
‘ I’m a rocket scientist. ’
‘ you can set yourself on fire, but you’re never gonna burn. ’
‘ you’re never gonna learn. ’
‘ Darlin’, you know how the wine plays tricks on my tongue. ’
‘ other boys you may have dated serrated your heart with a slice. ’
‘ the cut of your love never hurts. ’

LA DEVOTEE.

‘ you got two black eyes from loving too hard. ’
‘ I wouldn’t change you. ’
‘ I wouldn’t ever try to make you leave. ’
‘ just another LA devotee. ’
‘ I couldn’t change you. ’
‘ I couldn’t ever make you see. ’

GOLDEN DAYS.

‘ I found a pile of Polaroids in the crates of a record shop. ’
‘ boy, he was something debonair in 1979. ’
‘ and she had Farrah Fawcett hair. ’
‘ don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade ? ’
‘ all the memories that we make will never change. ’
‘ time can never break your heart, but it’ll take the pain away. ’
‘ Right now our future’s certain. ’
‘ I won’t let it fade away. ’

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE DIRTY.

‘ truth is that it was always going to end. ’
‘ if you wanna start a fight, you better throw the first punch. make it a good one. ’
‘ And if you wanna make it through the night, you better say my name like the good, the bad and the dirty. ’
‘ I know what it’s like to have to trade the ones that you love for the ones you hate. ’
‘ don’t think I’ve ever used a day of my education. ’
‘ there’s only two ways that these things can go. ’
‘ how was I to know that all your friends won’t hold any grudges ? ’
‘ I got the final judgement. ’
‘ you’ve been gone so long, I forgot what you feel like. ’
‘ but I’m not gonna think about that right now. ’
‘ all our friends want us to fall in love. ’

HOUSE OF MEMORIES.

‘ the lonely moments just get lonelier, the longer you’re in love. ’
‘ I don’t want to be afraid. ’
‘ baby, we built this house on memories. ’
‘ promise me a place in your house of memories. ’
‘ I think of you from time to time, more than I thought I would. ’
‘ you were just too kind. ’
‘ I was too young to know. ’
‘ that’s all that really matters. ’
‘ I was a fool. ’
‘ those thoughts of past lovers, they’ll always haunt me. ’
‘ I wish I could believe you’d never wrong me. ’
‘ will you remember me in the same way as I remember you ? ’

IMPOSSIBLE YEAR.

‘ there’s no sunshine. ’
‘ all the guests at the party, they’re so insincere. ’
‘ these nightmares always hang on past the dream. ’

2

Something New, Something Old

A belated Kuroken Day collaboration​ ~
Story by @nimbus-cloud
Art by @mookie000

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Kuroo Tomoko was a confident woman; not completely lacking in humility as the word ‘pride’ might suggest, no, she was confident.  She had faith in her abilities (and her son’s, whatever she might say), and she held her observational skills in high regard.  It was how she had known her son’s sexuality long before he finally outed himself and how she knew now that Kenma was nervous standing in front of her. 

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Alternate names for The Last Five Years songs

In Case You Thought This Was Going to End Well (Still Hurting)

The Art of Confusing Lust for Love: By Jamie (Shiksa Goddess)

Could You Maybe Put the Tinniest Bit of Effort into Salvaging This Relationship, Jamie? (See I’m Smiling)

Wow, Life is Awesome and I’m Awesome (Moving Too Fast)

I’m Not Resentful of Your Success (A Part of That)

A Very Odd and Somehow Uplifting Nonsense Story (The Schmuel Song)

I Really, Really Hate It Here (A Summer in Ohio)

It’s Sweet Until You Remember That They Break Up (The Next Ten Minutes)

I Wish Other Girls Weren’t So Hot, by Jamie/ Anxiety and Failure: Auditions, by Cathy (A Miracle Would Happen/When You Come Home to Me)

Okay, I’m A Little Resentful of Your Success (Climbing Uphill)

No, You’re Really Resentful of My Success (If I Didn’t Believe in You)

Back to the Honeymoon Phase (I Can Do Better Than That)

Angsty Cheating: You Brought This On Yourself (Nobody Needs to Know)

This Juxtaposition is Going to Kill Me, Holy Shit (Goodbye Until Tomorrow/ I Could Never Rescue You)

Minho teaches Newt pick up lines
  • Minho: Go Newt! With these, there's no way Y/N won't notice your feelings!
  • Newt: Okay..
  • 1st try.
  • Y/N: Newt, you're injured! what happened?
  • Newt: I kinda fell for you.
  • Jeff: Now I know why all the slicers are injured.
  • 2nd Try.
  • Y/N: Sometimes I wonder about my parents, like what did my dad do for a living?
  • Newt: He was probably a priest.
  • Y/N: ....Why?
  • Newt: Coz you're a blessing.
  • Gally: In a very good disguise.
  • Y/N: I hope there's some good in you too Gally.
  • 3rd Try.
  • Y/N: Ugh I HATE helping the slicers! their job is sickening and it get's me all dirty.
  • Newt: You won't be complaining when I get you all dirty.
  • Y/N: You mean at the gardens?
  • Newt: *sigh* Yes at the gardens.
  • 4rth try.
  • Y/N: The builders are making a new shack apparently.
  • Newt: That's nice the two of us should try building something new too.
  • Y/N: Oh? Like What?
  • Alby: A nice big lock for your door Y/N.
  • Newt: .....
  • 5th Try
  • Y/N: I'm thirsty.
  • Newt: Well good thing my body is 75% water.
  • Y/N: Yea well mine is too but that ain't enough.
  • 6th try
  • Y/N: Heyyy! The creators sent up clothes!
  • Newt: Yep, managed to grab myself a new sweat shirt.
  • Y/N *touches what Newt's wearing* : Nice! What material is it?
  • Newt: Boyfriend Material
  • Frypan: Really? pretty sure it's nylon.
  • 7th try.
  • Y/N: I wish I could have some ice cream, I can barely remember that sweet sticky thing trickling down my throat.
  • Newt: Get down on your knees and I'll give you some sweet sticky thing down your throat
  • Y/N: What?
  • Newt: ..You know, there are these berries..which have a sweet juice..
  • (later on)
  • Y/N: Newt? Are you alright, you've been acting really strangely lately.
  • Newt: It's nothing, I think Thomas has finally got to my nerves.
  • Thomas: Hey why does everyone just put the blame on me?
  • Gally: Because when you're pinned as the source of trouble its completely believable.
Ciel vs his twin and the true vengeful intent

This is purely theoretical seeing as we’re not even sure that the person who tried to kill Soma is Ciel’s twin but, assuming it is in fact the Twin and that he’s after revenge against his own brother for what happened four years ago, I’m wondering if Yana’s purpose in having the twins confronting each other precisely in this arc isn’t because it’s finally time for our!Ciel to reflect on himself and several choices that he made ever since their parents’ death.

What I mean by that is that if Soma’s shooter is in fact the Twin…

…then you can feel his dead cold anger and vengeful intent through the violence of the attack against both Soma and Agni.
Even if Agni was ultimately killed by the other man, if the Twin is Lord Sirius then Lord Polaris, as his butler and Agni’s killer, is obeying him anyway, so if ch126/127 were all about the Twin’s revenge, then you can just see how angry he is at his brother, which is why Agni was killed so violently.

And that’s precisely where the Twin could be different from our!Ciel, if that’s indeed him.

After all, we don’t know exactly what the Twin’s existence could have been like during these last 4 years and we don’t even know what he currently is (BD-like? still alive?), but what’s certain is that he wasn’t surrounded by what was left of his family all this time, unlike our!Ciel.

And that’s the thing, our!Ciel pretends that he only cares about revenge, that it’s the only reason he is still alive and I don’t doubt that he actually really believes it deep inside, but at the same time, Soma is right when he says…

…that Ciel is aware of the love around him, but that he refuses to accept it.

However, if the shooter of ch126/127 is Ciel’s Twin, then he wasn’t as lucky as Ciel during the last 4 years: from being sacrificed to being… revived/cared after by the blue sect, he didn’t get to be looked after by Lizzie, he didn’t get to meet the same people as his brother who cared about our!Ciel even if he always pushed them away…
So maybe that’s why his vengeful and murderous intent is greater than our!Ciel at this moment.

Because sure, our!Ciel believes he only lives for his revenge and he pushes people away because he’s indeed terrified of being happy, but at least he knows that he has people caring about him, which is not his twin’s case at all.

So if the two brothers indeed face each other in this arc, I’m thinking it might make Ciel realize that Soma is right when he says that Ciel only keeps trying to be alone with his revenge, but he definitely can’t manage to be doing that as well as his brother, since his brother truly has no one at all to divert his mind from revenge.

You could say that it’s as if Ciel’s twin would be revenge personified, because that’s truly all that he really cares about, whereas our!Ciel, despite inwardly believing that he only cares about revenge, might be lying to himself because “the love around him” ended up having an effect on him after all. 

We already had hints before that our!Ciel was more selfless than he thought + that he lied to himself during the previous arc when he said…

…because he endangered his life more than once trying to protect Lizzie (amongst other things).

So facing his twin might be what will trigger more development for Ciel, because it might force him to realize that if he truly was only living for revenge (without a care of anything besides that), then he would be a lot more like how his brother currently acts.

Not to confound, I don’t think Ciel will ever stop wishing for revenge, but reflecting back on all the choices that he made ever since his parents’ death is an important part of his character development, and maybe facing his twin is the only way to trigger that (besides the involvement of Soma and possibly Lizzie in his everyday life).

Finally, if the twin really is all about revenge (as I believe he could be) then…

…Lizzie is probably used (or going to be used) as a way to hurt our!Ciel as well, just like it was supposed to go with Soma and Agni.
Maybe the twin intends on making Ciel experience what it feels like to really be alone, like himself was ever since he was sacrificed on the altar, while Ciel managed to escape and stole his identity.

Obviously though, Lizzie probably doesn’t know about that part (and about Soma and Agni being attacked) and she stays with the twin because she’s confused about his revival (?) and pained at the thought of our!Ciel lying for the last 4 years. However, there is a strong possibility that the twin doesn’t care at all and she’s nothing but a pawn in order to get to our!Ciel and hurt him. 

TL;DR character development and self reflection for our!Ciel is probably a sure thing in case the one who almost shot Soma is indeed his twin and he’s looking for revenge against our!Ciel for everything that happened 4 years ago. 

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MASTERLIST

Word count: 2,981

From y/n: Shits going down again…

From Shawn: How bad is it?

From y/n: It’s ‘I’m in my room crying again’ kinda bad…

From Shawn: Just hang on, I’m coming to get you

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2 | Freak

BTS X READER [COLLEGE!AU | THRILLER!AU]

WORD COUNT: 7,114

series warnings: mature themes, violence, blood and gore, murder, emotional manipulation, bullying, mental health deterioration, eventual smut and substance abuse. this chapter contains strong language, light smut, bullying and claustrophobic themes

Originally posted by jeontrash

masterlist | ask | prev | coming soon


It had been a week since Yoongi’s party at Pearl, an entire seven days since your father had disappeared into thin air; and a whole one hundred and sixty eight hours since your brother decided to call the police, regardless of the anonymous threats. As much as you loved Yoongi you couldn’t shake the bad feeling away from your figure, the text message had very clear instructions. Don’t show the police, or people will die. And with your dad still missing it was impossible not to entertain the idea.

“Y/N? Hello? Are you in here?” Maggie, the Exhibit gossip forum’s editor in chief and your overall boss, flicked your forehead with her perfectly manicured bubblegum pink nails to regain your attention.

“I’m so sorry… What were you saying?” You hummed in an attempt to salvage the embarrassing situation, you had no idea what she was talking to you about, truth be told you didn’t even realise she was there until her acrylic nail was leaving behind a small indentation on your skin.

“The threatening mystery texts, your dad’s disappearance! It’s all just dreadful… Will you run it?” She hollowed her thin cheeks out until you could see a map of her high cheekbones as she raised her brows expectantly.

There was no denying she was beautiful, she had rich dark brown flawless skin and her hair was shaved short and dyed red, her winged eyeliner was sharp enough to cut someone and her fashion choices were beyond Lady Gaga’s wildest imagination. But unfortunately for her you saw right through her fur coats and fake personality, she was the head cheerleader who never grew up; she was a bitch.

“Wait so you want me to run the story… About my missing dad? And include the anonymous messages?” You paraphrased eyes wide with shock, dumbfounded by her complete lack of human decency.

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betrayal sentence starters 

  • “ What are you saying? “
  • “ You… You lied to me? “
  • “ I trusted you! “ 
  • “ I never liked you anyway. “
  • “ I can’t believe you! “
  • “ I always hated you. “
  • “ How could you do this to me? “
  • “ What the hell are you doing? “
  • “ I can’t believe you’d do this to me. “
  • “ I thought we were friends! “
  • “ I thought you cared about me! “
  • “ I never really cared about you. “ 
  • “ You never really cared about me, did you? “
  • “ You’re a horrible person. “
  • “ I wish I never met you. “
  • “ I’m leaving. “
  • “ You meant the world to me. Did you know that? “
  • “ What happened to ‘ best friends forever? ‘ “ 
  • “ What happened to us? “
  • “ I… I’m so sorry. “
  • “ All of this was just a lie? “
  • “ You’re just going to leave me here? “
  • “ Stop. Just shut up. I don’t want to hear it anymore. “
  • “ T-This is all some sort of twisted joke, right? You’re not really doing this? “
  • “ You’re lying. You have to be lying. Please tell me you’re lying. “ 
  • “ I only have one question. Why? “
  • “ I thought I was worth more to you than this. “ 
  • “ I guess I hate you too, now. “ 
  • “ I was never really your friend. “ 

i wish i could relate more to the nd spaces on here (and online in general) but so many of them are so completely… awful. i think there’s a huge lack of self awareness and self inspection in online nd communities and it’s been getting a little better recently but it’s still extremely common to see some people displaying horrible behaviors and then using their neurodivergence to get away with that. it’s really alarming to see and ignoring this behavior is just going to allow it to continue and be easily dismissed. like i think a lot of people on here genuinely believe that they can do awful things because of their mental illness and it can’t be something that we let slide.

like, i get it. i really do. it can be hard to look within yourself and within your own spaces, especially when nd people already face such a great deal of demonization. but it’s necessary. there are huge problems in nd communities with allowing disgusting behavior to continue and it really needs to be acknowledged and stopped. we can’t encourage this kind of thing