i really want a mustache

"Oh... So You're Not A Criminal."

Originally posted by nochuie

A/N: This sucks but read it anyway lmao. This was requested a while ago i just never got around to it and then my requests deleted. I hope you enjoy it still~

“Fuck fuck fuck.” he whispered to himself as he ran down the street. He heard the sirens getting close making him run even faster in hopes he could get away. Fuuuuuck. After this you better cut this shit out. Aha! He jumped over a fence to a house that looked empty. “No cars. No people. Right?” He tried to reassure himself. He went around the house looking for an open window but the only one not closed was on the second story. Great. My lucky day. He climbed the tree near the window. Once he got to the top he heard rustling, a squirrel. It jumped in front of him making him yelp and put his hands up.

“What?! little fucker!” He loudly whispered making it scurry off. He went back to his business, trying not to die as he tried saving his own ass from being thrown into jail. “1. 2. 3!” He jumped to the window, barely grabbing the edge and hiking himself up. He landed on the floor, pushed himself up and wiped himself off. I hate the dark. It’s so… dark. Where’s the fucking light. He stumbled around and crashed into a few things. Ahh shit! He fell before he could find it. He heard some movements from the other room and hid under the desk until he noticed his foot was stuck to the wire that made him trip. He scooted closer to the lamp and away from his hiding place to try to untangle his foot. The noises became louder as he rushed to get himself free. Shit Jungkook! Okay just calm down and, yes! Okay… done, free! He slid back under his hiding spot in the nick of time. 

You looked into your study room to see nothing but a stapler and a couple pens on the floor. You went to pick them up which made Jungkooks heart beat faster than it should. The door bell rang as you sat the items back on the desk. Who the fuck is here at this time?! You put on a robe and went to the door but first checked the peephole. The police? “H-hi?” You asked. 

“Hello ma'am, we’re sorry to wake you but we have reason to believe that there might be a criminal in this area so we’d like to ask you to call us if you see anything.” One of the officers said.

“Oh okay. Thank you.” You said closing the door as they started walking away. You turned straight back into the office but stopped when you saw the window open. “He-hello?” You asked into the not-so-empty room. You didn’t hear a response so you started to walk out and take off your robe to go to back to bed but then you heard a big “Ow!”. 

You ran to the desk and grabbed the stapler, “Who’s there?!” You yelled out, holding up the stapler. The man came out from under the desk, rubbing his head. 

“Hey.” He said.

“I’m caling the police!” You yelled out.

“Woah woah woah,” he chuckled, “be careful with that stapler. Those things are dangerous.“ 

“Good! Now don’t even think about moving an inch!” You yelled, creeping closer to him. 

“Baby that was sarcasm. And anyway, I’m not bad so there’s no need for tha-AHHHHHHH” He screamed as you stapled his hand, “FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!“ 

“Stop yelling!" 

"YOU STAPLED ME! WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP YELLING?!" 

"It was an accident! I’m sorry! Let me go get the first aid kit.” You moved him to sit on the chair behind the desk and rush out of the room to retrieve the box. You came back with the necessities and sat on ur desk. “Give me your hand.” You said.

“Are you gonna staple it again.” He sarcastically asked, building your anger and grabbing his hand anyway. “Ahh- would you be careful?" 

"Says the one who knocked over my stuff after breaking into my house.” You mumbled as you placed his hand on your thigh. You didn’t think much of it while you opened the box and look for some alcohol and bandaids until he started rubbing your skin. “What’re you doing?" 

"Nothi-OW” You plucked the metal bits out. “Can’t you give me a warning?”

“You. Broke. Into. My. House. Do you deserve a warning?” You asked as you poured some alcohol onto a cotton ball and placed it on his hand. He sucked in some air through his teeth to relieve the pain. 

“I guess not but I’m really not a bad guy. The police are just idiots.

"Well what’d you do?” You asked hesitantly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“I vandalized a poster. Put a mustache and glasses on one of the person. And I ran because I can’t get into anymore trouble or else the boys home I live at will kick me out." 

"Oh… so your’re not a criminal.” You placed the bandaids on him and rubbed his hand. “What’s your name? I’m Y/n.”

“Jungkook.” He answered, “Please don’t call the police or the boys home." 

"I won’t. Just don’t be vandalizing OR breaking into homes anymore." 

"Okay…”

“Oh! Oh my god,” You nervously laughed realizing you were basically half naked in front of a stranger, “I’ll be right back.” You grabbed the the first aid and rushed out the room. You came back to and empty room. “Hello?” You asked but there was no response. You peeked your head at the now open window but there was no sign of Jungkook. You went back to your room and watched tv until you fell asleep. You woke up not knowing if what had happened the night before was a dream. 

Up until you heard a knock on the door. “I didn’t mean to leave in such a hurry. I just needed to get back before anyone noticed. I’m sorry.” He held up a bouquet a flowers while looking down.

“Oh,” you said grabbing it, “Why don’t you come in?”

“O-okay.” He anxiously accepted with a smile.

spaaghettii  asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but can I ask about the facial hair in one of your recent selfies? I'm afab, and I just wanted to know if it was makeup or if you have actual facial hair there, and if so, how? I really want a mustache and a five 'o clock shadow, but I'm not sure how to get one, and your's was great.

It’s makeup. Although I do have a bit more hair on my face than most a fab people. I used tarte’s amazonian clay waterproof brow mousse is medium brown. I made little hair like marks and yeah that’s about it. P.s you could do this with eyeshadow, eyeliner, face paint or any other eyebrow product tbh.

anonymous asked:

ok ok but on the subject of louis' paternity being So Obvious can you just imagine anne having to tactfully take her son aside during puberty and say darling,, i know you really want to grow that mustache out to see what it looks like but perhaps the week before the dinner you are hosting with first minister aramis is not the best time? you will be sitting next to each other for most of the evening... and sweetheart make sure to wash your hair so it doesn't get too curly

THIS IS SO REAL ANNE IS IN A CONSTANT STATE OF NERVOUSLY BEING LIKE “HAHA WHAT DO U MEAN THEY LOOK SIMILAR PLS CHECK UR EYES”

like remember when she made the babyTM wear that awful wig and u were like dude…. why??? and then the second u saw the baby without the wig u were like “oh my God thats why”

anyways this continues and its eternally funny. everyone is in on the “play off the similarities between the king and the first minister as PURELY COINCIDENCE” train. and it gets increasingly difficult bc louis idolizes aramis so ofc like, if aramis puts his hair in a ponytail, louis wants to do the same thing! if aramis has a mustache, louis wants one too! he picks up little things like the way he swings his arms when he walks or the twitch of his eyes when he’s thinking abt something intensely and anne is in a constant state of “extremely endeared but constantly stressed”. which is fine bc nothing bad ever happens bc happy endings are more important than realism BUT ANYWAYS, the point is, the older louis gets the more anne is like “we need a plan of action” and aramis is like i dunno i could shave? and anne is like no no dont do that then it would be even more obvious and they are STUMPED. 

“my grandfather was SO VERY TALL!” says anne, when louis hits fourteen and has three growth spurts in succession

“isn’t it nice that he has the late kings curls,” says constance, laughing exaggeratedly and slapping some courtier on the back

“i remember marie de medici’s second cousin twice removed tanned really easily in the sun,” says athos gravely, and the members of the council mutter and nod in agreement

like i really think any time anyone finds out The Truth their immediate thought is like … wo w … i need my eyes checked,,,, how did i miss that …

i love them all sdkfhsld

I need help.

I want tattoos to commemorate my favourite YouTubers, but I can’t think of one for Mark.
I don’t want color, and I want them to be really simple.

A mustache isn’t the best idea, because that would just be weird.
I don’t want Tiny Box Tim, because I don’t associate Mark with him; I didn’t watch him at that time.
If anyone has an idea to what I could do, please help me. It’s really important to me.

Quick drawing daddy Connor :D

D: “Dad, I want to have real mustache.”
C: “Uh… really?
D: “Yes! It’ll be warm, soft, and cool! Can I have a great mustache, or beard?”
C: “Well…I do not think so :(”
D: “Yeah well, I expected.”
C: “Do you?”

D: “Yes, because you don’t have mustache. or beard.”
C: “Hmm……”
D: “But I bet I can have. I’m mixed-blood. So, I’ll eat more and more, and grow 
quickly, then I might be able to have beard!”

C: “o_o;;(she will know someday…)”

eleanor cries when people call her a beard because in reality she really wanted to be a mustache

April 16th, 2014. Feels like February 12th, 2014.