Why do I worry that things I say are nonsense or gibberish?
My coworker needed me to spell Milwaukee. I had to type it out because I get tripped up otherwise (usually because I’m so worried about getting tripped up and I doubt that I’m spelling something correctly that it trips me up) but as I was spelling it, “M-I-L…” I was worried I wasn’t actually saying letters. Or I was saying the wrong letters. I’m really upset right now because this doesn’t feel like it makes any sense but as I read “M” and said “em” I was overwhelmed with thoughts like “am I actually saying ’M’? Is this how you say this letter? Am I reading these letters in the right order?”
It’s like when you see a word so often you question if it’s really spelled that way, or say it so often that you question if it’s really pronounced that way. It doesn’t look right, it doesn’t sound right but you can check and yes, it is right.
Except this is all the time. Every time I talk, every time I read numbers, letters, or words out loud. I don’t know why this happens.