i really thought i had it wrong

Why do I worry that things I say are nonsense or gibberish?

My coworker needed me to spell Milwaukee. I had to type it out because I get tripped up otherwise (usually because I’m so worried about getting tripped up and I doubt that I’m spelling something correctly that it trips me up) but as I was spelling it, “M-I-L…” I was worried I wasn’t actually saying letters. Or I was saying the wrong letters. I’m really upset right now because this doesn’t feel like it makes any sense but as I read “M” and said “em” I was overwhelmed with thoughts like “am I actually saying ’M’? Is this how you say this letter? Am I reading these letters in the right order?”

It’s like when you see a word so often you question if it’s really spelled that way, or say it so often that you question if it’s really pronounced that way. It doesn’t look right, it doesn’t sound right but you can check and yes, it is right.

Except this is all the time. Every time I talk, every time I read numbers, letters, or words out loud. I don’t know why this happens.

The Oscars mix up was frigging hilarious.  (No, really. It was.) But it was quite touching how classy and polite and dignified everyone involved handled things.

*dude gives a long speech thanking everyone he loves, including his wife and kids*

*someone whispers something in his ear*  

“Well, I thought he deserved the award anyway! I’m happy to give it to him.”

And the Moonlight people are clearly a bit astounded but still hugged the La La Land people.  

And Kimmel sadly sighing at the end: “It’s me. Something had to go wrong.”

It was very human.  One of the few Oscar moments that was quite sweet.

anonymous asked:

youtube has finally started to take down channels and videos of black men attacking black women. Oshay Duke Jackon, some of Tommy's channels and MANY others have all been taken down and they are PRESSED! they making videos saying black women just want to see them broke and black men need to stay positive and dont rely on youtube for their income. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gabrielle union hair flip*

Yes they have. This is a victory! I haven’t had the time to cover this, but thanks to celebrity author (and I believe she’s also a lawyer) Sophia Nelson. Sophia Nelson is the Black Woman responsible for starting this campaign to take down the bw-hating cyberbullies. The He-Man Black Woman Haters Club REALLY barked up the wrong tree, this woman is powerful and has powerful connections! She posted a video not to long ago about how BW-hater Youtuber, Obsidian has been making bashing/stalking videos about her and unlawfully using her images for years without her knowledge. He thought that he was getting away with it  because he thought that she was just like many black women, powerless to do anything about it. I’ve said for a while now that we just need ONE powerful black woman with MANY powerful connections to get an successful black woman anti-defamation league going. Mrs. Nelson ain’t playing! She’s friends with Christelyn Karazin. CK talks about it more here. Here’s the video with Mrs Nelson discussing the bullying of her and black women and girls:

Christelyn also did a google hang out with Mrs. Nelson (below):



It ain’t over yet and there’s more work to do!

Historical Story Prompts
  • Saw you needed help getting out of your carriage
  • You accidentally flung your dancing shoe across the ballroom and hit me in the back…or was it an accident?
  • Let me help you get your bonnet unstuck out of that tree
  • Scandalous ankles and/or unbound hair
  • You were signaling someone else with your fan to meet in the gardens and I thought you were looking at me…well this is awkward
  • Don’t mind me dumping water on you milord but your wig had caught fire, I think you got too close to the candles
  • really why does this party need 5-hour candles, can I hang out with you all my friends are already drunk and there are four more hours left
  • You caught me without gloves! I’m practically naked!
  • Sorry wrong sedan chair

the-caitastrophe submitted:

Positive submission: I came out as ace to my boyfriend of 5 years a few months back. He’s the first person I ever told in real life, and he had no idea what asexual meant. So I told him, “Well, it means I’m not sexually attracted to people. Like ever.” He wanted to know more about it, so I started reading some of the information on this blog to him, and then he got really quiet. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, and at first I thought he was upset, until he let out the most relieved laugh I’ve ever heard and said, “Now I finally know what to call myself.“ 

Turns out that he’d spent the last 20 years (he’s 34) thinking there was something wrong with his brain because he had never "felt like a normal guy.”

4

I can be strong, and stand my ground when I’m protecting someone else, but when that someone is me… It’s a lot harder. ‘Cause I don’t like being vulnerable. We’re really different. Yeah. […] It’s just… Last year I thought I could have it all, and then I thought I couldn’t. Then I had to pick. So, I chose being Supergirl over having a relationship. And then, you came along, and I thought you were… toughtless and selfish. And I kept writing you off. And you kept proving me wrong. And I just got me thinking… Maybe I can have it all.

Asylum AU  “Missing”

Evan’s POV

It’s been a month since Delirious had escaped the Asylum. As much as I hate to admit it but I really do miss him. He was what I looked forward to when I woke up each morning. I thought he was getting better and was becoming more sane each time I visited him, but I guess I was wrong. The days seemed to drag on the longer he was gone.

Since he went missing I was assigned to help other patients but none of them really stood out to me like he did. Maybe I was the one who pushed him over the edge, to the point of escaping the asylum. Maybe it was because of me that he left.

I shook my head at that thought. I tried my hardest to help him and I guess my hardest wasn’t good enough. But what happened, happened and I can’t change that now.

The day was coming to an end and the stars were now visible for everyone to see. As I continued to make my way home I could feel someone staring at me. I started to feel paranoid was I continued to walk along the footpath. As I was looking at the ground I could see a shadow of a person looming towards me. I looked up to see who was walking towards me and was startled at what I saw.

 

“Delirious….” I started to say as I was in disbelief. 

"I thought I’d never see you again,” was all I managed to say.

"I thought I could find some place to stay but everyone kept staring at me and some of them even ran away from me. I don’t belong anywhere…”

“You’ll have a warm place to stay at. You’ll be safe there”

“Okay..”

I just saw my cousin as Grantaire in his high school’s Les Mis

I’m hella biased because a) he’s my cousin, and b) Grantaire is both of our favorite characters (we need help), so this is going to slightly focus on R (sorry not sorry), but here are all of my thoughts:

-They didn’t have a lot people, so in the opening number Grantaire sings “I’ve done no wrong, sweet Jesus hear my prayer”, Marius sings “I know she’ll wait, I know that she’ll be true”, and Feuilly sings “we’re not yet free, you won’t see me here for dust” (and I just thought that was so perfect with their characters)

-Because it’s a high school play they had to do a censored version, which means they can’t really state that Fantine is a prostitute, so Lovely Ladies was hysterical because so many of the lyrics had been changed and it was so ridiculous I can’t even remember what they changed the lyrics to it was so off

-Confrontation was insane because they gave Javert this whip/chain thing and had Valjean ducking under it and at “I’m the stronger man by far” he catches it mid-air and just damn it was intense

-In The Beggars/Look Down/What-ever-you-want-to-call-this-song, Enjolras and Marius are handing out papers to recruit other students to their cause, and later in the background (while Marius is singing with Eponine) Enjolras is trying to give R a paper and recruit him, and R is kinda like “I don’t know…” until Enj puts his had on R’s shoulder, and then he smiles and just nods and they spend the rest of the scene talking together in the background

-In Red and Black they gave Grantaire the lyrics “like the flowing of the tide, Paris coming to our side” as he goes to stand beside Enjolras before sitting down (AAHHHHH YOU ARE PARIS COMING TO ENJ’S SIDE)

-At “is Marius in love at last” Grantaire drops down on one knee and grabs a hold of Marius’s hand and at “I’ve never heard him oo and ah” he literally places Marius’s hand on his chest, like damn R could you be any more dramatic

-R stands on the table for the whole “you talk of battles to be won” part and only gets off the table when Enjolras walks over to them

-Grantaire’s egging Marius on during Red and Black is literally more snarky and cheeky than George Blagden, like dude is standing on the table holding his hand out before him like he’s in an actual opera while singing “Red”

-In Do You Hear the People Sing, since Courf and Combeferre are the same person, Grantaire gets “then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free” as he gives Enjolras a gun, which Enj the hoists into the air

-A Heart Full of Love starts off Romeo & Juliet style with Cossette on a balcony thing, and she comes down to stand beside Marius to sign her parts

-When they are on the barricade, everyone stands up at different intervals when Enj sings the “Damn their warnings, damn their lies” part, and Grantaire stands up at “they will see the people rise”… R is the physical representation of the people of Paris… the feels… I’m fine…

-They gave Grantaire’s solo in Drink with Me to Courf and I’m still bitter about it

-In the final battle, Enj and Grantaire are positioned at the top of the barricade and first when R dies he dies kneeling at Enjolras’s feet as Enj then picks up the flag and starts waving it, until he falls backwards into the traditional dead Enj position, but the only thing is he drops the flag as he dies and bam the tears

-they did the thing in Turning where the girls leave (fake) candles on the stage and in Empty Chairs at Empty Tables when Marius sings “now my friends are dead and gone” he picks up one of the candles and Les Amis start walking on stage behind the screen, and at “phantom faces at the windows” they lifted the screen and all of Les Amis walked forward and grabbed a candle, and at “where my friends will sing no more” all of Les Amis flicked off their flame and walked off stage leaving only Marius holding a single glowing candle (tears)

-They cut “this one’s a queer but what can you do”… like damn, as a queer that is my favorite line

-In the finale when Jean Valjean is in the church, there is a table beside him holding… wait for it… two candle sticks… feeeeeeels

-After the show my family was like “you were amazing, but you so should have had a bigger part” and my cousin and I are just here like “yeah, but grANTAIRE”

-Also, I’m very biased, but he might have tied George Blagden for my favorite Grantaire (why do the good Grantaire’s never get to sing Drink With Me?)

9

moodboards: Kara and Mon-el (Supergirl TV Series) 

I can be strong, and stand my ground when I’m protecting someone else, but when that someone is me… It’s a lot harder. ‘Cause I don’t like being vulnerable. We’re really different. Yeah. […] It’s just… Last year I thought I could have it all, and then I thought I couldn’t. Then I had to pick. So, I chose being Supergirl over having a relationship. And then, you came along, and I thought you were… toughtless and selfish. And I kept writing you off. And you kept proving me wrong. And I just got me thinking… Maybe I can have it all.

3

I didn’t realize how misinformed I was about skincare until I started practicing a little witchcraft. I thought that apricot scrubs were good, oil was bad, and that cystic acne couldn’t be treated topically. Oh, was I wrong. About a year ago, I befriended a 30 year practicing witch who had about 14 years cosmetology experience at the time. Having just discovered Paganism myself, I constantly bugged her about both subjects. She taught me some basics and I’ve been using them ever since. They really work. And it’s a nice and easy introduction to spells if you’re looking to get into somethin’ spooky. 

First things first: Apricot scrubs are TERRIBLE. Any facial scrub that has granules you can see is going to put tiny cuts in your already irritated face and make your acne more susceptible to infection/irritation. She recommended using a mixture of coconut oil and baking soda to make a paste that will very very gently remove dead skin without causing redness. People with rosacea should avoid using any type of scrub, even though this one is very mild. Never exfoliate more than 2-3 times a week, and never ever do it two days in a row. When you’re done, make sure you put as much oil as you can in the trash can- rinsing it off in the sink will clog the drain over time. And remember- the thicker the paste, the more coarse the scrub will be. Scrub using gentle yet wide circular motions, timing yourself at about 60 seconds. 

Oil is not bad for your skin! Coconut oil has tiny molecules unlike other oils, so it can penetrate hair and skin better than other oils. Coconut oil is excellent at pulling your natural facial oils out of your pores without stripping moisture. After you use the scrub, use a warm, damp wash cloth to gently wipe away the oil and baking soda. You should always moisturize immediately after cleansing, but I’ve noticed that after using this cleanser my skin doesn’t ususally need it. Besides coconut oil, lavender oil, grapeseed oil, and sweet almond oil are also very good for acne prone skin. Tea tree oil can be diluted heavily and applied to spot treat, but do not use more than once a week in small quantities or it will make your skin itchy and red. Always always always moisturize before putting on makeup by the way!

As for the face masks! I have a face mask recipe that will reduce my pore size by like 80-90%. Seriously. If I used it once a week I’d have perfect skin, but I don’t, so even when my skin is at its worst, this mask still kicks ass. I don’t have exact measurements for everything (or anything really) so please be patient with yourself when making them. But that’s the beauty of this recipe- you can change it to fit your skin problems with a little research and a trip to the health food store. Side note: Do the mask right after you use the scrub. Otherwise it won’t work as well.

The base of the mask is this magical powder called kaolin clay. I buy it in bulk at the health food store and it’s cheap as hell. It’s just a mild clay that turns to putty then hardens in ten minutes. I probably use ¾ cup, maybe even a full cup for a mask. Just depends on how many liquids you want to include. Star out small and add as you go.

After putting a starter amount of clay into a small bowl, I set that aside and start on the liquids. I like to use tea instead of water. I make a teensy amount of hot water then pour it over green tea, rose petals, and calendula petals. Green tea is anti-inflammatory, rose balances pH, and calendula is great for skin. Try to buy organic so you’re not dousing yourself in pesticides. I set these aside to brew. The less water you use, the stronger the tincture, and the less time you need to wait. 

I only have a few essential oils, but if you do a little research, it is super easy to pick out some that are good for skin and are non-comodegenetic (won’t clog pores). I take my little bowl of clay and start adding a few drops of lavender oil, a few drops of grapeseed oil, a squirt of sweet almond, and two tiny drops of tea tree. Other options are ylang ylang (good for oily skin), chamomile (very soothing), and clary sage (for reverse aging and puffiness). I would say maybe 5 oils would be a good maximum, just because you need room for the tea. 

Add the tea by holding the flowers back with a spoon and pouring tiny little amounts into the clay and oil mixture, stirring frequently so that you don’t get it too thin. You want it the texture of Elmer’s glue. If a few petals get into the mask, that’s fine. Some people add loose green tea leaves to their masks straight up, so whatever’s clever. Then just smear the mask on, avoiding the eye area if you used tea tree oil, and leave it on for about 10 minutes. It will harden so if you want to drink anything you should use a straw, and the mask will flake a bit towards the end, so be aware of that. Once the ten minutes is up, just splash wet water on your face to turn it back to glue texture, then wash off with warm water. This may take a while. Then after you dry your face with a clean towel, check out your pores in the mirror! This is my favorite part because there are patches of my skin when I don’t have visible pores at all, and where I do, they are so much lighter and smaller. The essential oils must penetrate the blackheads or something, I have no idea, but it does what no Biore strips or Clean and Clear scrub have ever done before. 

Make sure you moisturize after ! I have really bad acne so I follow up with benzoyl peroxide (doctor’s orders) and a light drugstore moisturizer to keep my pores looking like this as long as possible. I recommend doing this mask once a week at least, but definitely no more that once every three days. And don’t pop pimples! Give these remedies some time and you will see a huge difference. 

One more thing: Rose water. I make my own, but it can be bought at $30 a bottle at Sephora. However, I don’t use mine that often because it’s non-organic, so unless you have the hookup on organic roses, you might want to steer clear. Basically all it is is rose tea. I get roses from my boyfriend frequently, so I hang them up to dry thoroughly and then collect the petals in a burlap bag. Once I have a grocery bag’s worth, I toss them in a pot to boil. There are lots of ways to do this online, but mine is very simple. Just bring petals to a soft boil, steep until it’s dark red, then let cool. I store mine in a massive mason jar in the refrigerator. I leave some petals in there to make it stronger, but you can strain them immediately if you like. Definitely strain them before using the water to make you life a little easier.

I use rose water as a toner between cleansing and moisturizing. It’s cool from refrigeration, which calms any puffiness, and it apparently balances pH. Another cool thing about it is it moistens your face right before you moisturize. Lotion doesn’t always add moisture to your skin, it often just retains what moisture you have. So if you moisturize damp skin, you’ll retain more moisture. Seems weird but it works.

The witchcraft comes in where you want it to. I like to put intention in the stirring; meaning I stir right if I want to embrace good vibes and positive outcomes, stir left if I have something negative on my mind that I want to banish. I think there is magic in the herbs and oils themselves so I don’t get too fancy or chant, but it is totally a thing for people to chant while making these kinds of elixirs. Tumblr is full of awesome little rituals! I just tend to keep it simple. 

So anyways this is basically everything I know about skincare, and it was all taught to me by a woman in her late thirties that looks like she’s 24. Kudos if you read this entire thing! Seacrest out.

Castle in the Sky   {Sentence Starters}

  • “My eyes! I can’t see!”
  • “Is THAT what it’s called?”
  • “Blast! I really hate that man.”
  • “Thank goodness you’re alive!”
  • “You and I will die here, together.”
  • “Time’s up. What is your answer?”
  • “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”
  • “No one can hear you. Only I can help you.”
  • “Will you hand me those plates over there?”
  • “I thought you said you had a stomachache!”
  • “Run away before he kills you as well as me!”
  • “Tell me the spell! What are the secret words?”
  • “Be reasonable! There’s no way you can escape.”
  • “Ah, what can I tell ya? They just really like dessert.”
  • “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you all right? Does it hurt much?”
  • “I have really had enough of your incredible stupidity.”
  • “If I did something wrong, I’d really like to apologize for it.”
  • “A king without compassion does not deserve a kingdom.”
  • “The earth speaks to all of us, and if we listen, we can understand.”
  • “This is no longer a throne room… This is a tomb for the both of us.”
  • “I finished my work for the moment, and I’ve come to offer you my help.”
  • “Stop yelling at me! I can hear you. Believe me, sometimes I wish I couldn’t.”
  • “No matter how many weapons you have, no matter how great your technology might be, the world cannot live without love.”
10

(Federico Fellini, 1963)

“I thought my ideas were so clear. I wanted to make an honest film. No lies whatsoever. I thought I had something so simple to say. Something useful to everybody. A film that could help bury forever all those dead things we carry within ourselves. Instead, I’m the one without the courage to bury anything at all. When did I go wrong? I really have nothing to say, but I want to say it all the same.”

Ciao Adios

Summary: You’re tired of Tom’s game and it’s time to say goodbye to your relationship after you had given him multiple chances.

Characters: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Cheating, cursing

Word Count: 1,093

A/N: I was inspired by Anne-Marie’s song “Ciao Adios”. I also don’t condone cheating. It’s wrong, really wrong. Just thought this would be fun.


You had been suspicious of Tom for a few months now. There were nights where he’ll creep in at 4 a.m., nights where he didn’t come home and times you had no idea where he was. You tried to find a rational explanation, but the only one was that he was cheating on you.

You were sat on a barstool in the apartment you shared with Tom, drinking tea and reading a book. That’s when you heard the jingle of Tom’s keys. He walked in, throwing his keys on the kitchen counter. Your eyes shot up to him as your sipped your tea. You looked at him and titled your head as you noticed a smudge of red lipstick on his shirt collar. You sighed. You knew it was time to confront him.

“So where were you?” You asked.

Keep reading

Just a thought

I had a really wonderful mental image today of slytherin students roller blading through the halls and screwing with people. I’d like everyone to picture this image. (If anyone can art, I’d love to see this in art form)

anonymous asked:

You think this "bad boy changes because he fell in love with good girl" is healthy? Not judging, just asking

See, this is why you have to watch it closely and pay attention. Mon-el was never a bad boy, have you ever heard of “ignorance is a bliss”? He knew exactly what kind of planet he lived in, but he preferred to ignore it because he never thought he could change it, I mean, he was scared of his parents, you really think he believed in himself enough to rule an entire planet back then? He had good in him all along, the only thing he needed was someone to believe in him, to say “You can try and i’ll be right here for you”. And that’s Kara. He just needed a little push, that’s all. He acted wrong, of course, but I understand his side, If not even your parents put their faith in you, you’ll never believe you stand a chance, so he never even tried. But now, now he can finally be the man he always wanted to be, he has back up, people who cares, who believes in him, he has a second chance.

So, here’s the thing: He didn’t change because he fell in love with Kara, because he’s always been like this. He just doesn’t ignore this part of him anymore like he used to do back on Daxam. Kara didn’t change him, she inspired him.

Footprints In The Snow

I lost myself in the snow
Following my old footprints
Weaving through the forest
Into my tracks and out then in
Some so deep and carefully
Embedded in the snow
I galloped ever gingerly
Not knowing where to go

And when I figured out the truth
That I had wound up lost
It was too late by that point on
Frost bitten toes were cost
My footprints headed this way
That way, North, South, East, and West
Direction had abandoned me
And left me second guessed

What I thought to be the right way
Only turned out to be wrong
And I now I wander cautiously
Accompanied by song
And no one else, it’s only me
But really, could you tell
With all these frozen footprints
Overlapped upon themselves

I lost myself in the snow
Trying to find a magic mountain
And at the tippy top of it
Is an immortal fountain
All I wanted was to find this
This Never- Everest
But all I got was this place
Wherever this place is

Defeat became my numbing face
The dreamer never wins
Against these hidden places
That no one’s ever been
But in the longest moments
Of my bitter solitude
A sudden self- reflection
In a sheet of ice I viewed

What I thought to be the right way
Only turned out to be wrong
And I now I wander cautiously
Accompanied by song
And no one else, it’s only me
But really, could you tell
With all these frozen footprints
Overlapped upon themselves

* Working on title

Lilies-Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part 1

A/N: part 3? this is yet again more arguing but at least we know why

It’s been six months since I’d last seen Bucky. He was probably off saving the world, but it wasn’t my business. That being said, I didn’t ever move on. There was never really any thought for it until the day he left. Marriage, children, growing old together, that was the initial plan until it all fell apart on the tips of my fingers.

Accidently, I walked to the tower. A wrong right turn brought me to the place that could ruin my senses and resurface all of the pain and sufferings I was trying to bury and had been doing so for half a year now. Gun shots and screaming echoed across the street, it rang in my ear and my heart raced till it burnt to breathe. 

I cowered beneath the seat of the car hoping that a stray bullet wouldn’t hit me and tried to steady my breathing. The Avengers were outside, the dull thump of Steve’s shield, the lightning from Thor and the loud ‘smash’ from Hulk indicated that they were fighting. Curiosity got the better of me and I saw Bucky evacuating people from their cars and into the tower. Bucky. After all of this time, I wanted to hide from him, but I also wanted to get away from the bullets. 

Bucky looked through your window and opened the door, I shuddered in fear that he recognised me but he didn’t until I looked up at him and into his eyes. I instinctively moved away from him but he pulled me out of the car and shielded my way into the building. I shied away from him and ran to somewhere safer. I didn’t thank Bucky and I felt bad but I couldn’t.

I was on my way home, take a wrong turn, end up in the middle of a gun fight and see my ex, today is not my day. After what seems like hours, they start letting people out of the building. I make my way to the door but I am stopped by Steve. “Hey, can I talk to you quickly?”

I wanted to tell him that I’m busy but I can’t lie to him, there’s something in him being Captain America which makes it impossible to do so. He extends his arm out to his room and I enter behind him. “Take a seat.” I perched on one of the beanbags but eventually gave in and sat down properly. “You have some sort of idea as to why I wanted to talk to you, right?” I could only nod. “Bucky’s been a wreck, he misses you.”

“No, he doesn’t, I was a cheap shag to him, he never loved me.” I played with a bit of hair to distract myself. “It’s not fair for you to talk about him when I seem to be doing better, I’m moving on with my life.” I stand to leave but Steve stops me from doing so. 

He takes off his mask and sets it aside along with his shield which I didn’t realise he didn’t put down. “Just talk to him and get him to explain. I don’t know what happened but I know that he did love you. You weren’t just a game to him.”

I bit the inside of my cheeks, to stop myself from crying or screaming. “If that’s what he said to you, then there must be some sort of miscommunication because he told me that he didn’t love me, he never did and he seemed to have meant it.”

“All I ask is that you talk to him.” Steve rubbed my arm and I have to take a deep breath. “I know that you haven’t moved on, I can see it in your eyes.” I felt bad for Steve because they were best friends and Bucky must be a real wreck if Steve is concerned but Bucky wiped his hands with you and not vice versa, I’m not obliged to do anything. 

Steve leads me outside and I walk into Bucky who looks furious at me leaving Steve’s room. His hands are clenched and his jaw is locked in place. “What are you doing leaving his room?”

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his tone is cold, similar to the tone of his voice the night that he left. “Does it matter to you because last time I checked, you left. You were the one that walked out and told me that you never loved me.” I crossed my arms and Steve looked like he wanted to diffuse the situation. “Don’t make me seem like that bad guy here because I’m not.”

I started to walk away but Bucky’s hand was wrapped around my arm tightly. I try to pull it away but he doesn’t let go. Spinning me around to face him, he drags me lightly to his room. I am hyper-aware of his scent and his anger, it doesn’t scare me but it’s uncomfortable and tense. “Why were you in Steve’s room? Are you seeing him now?”

I rolled my shoulders and stood up straight to look up at him. “It’s none of your fucking business, don’t you understand? That night when you packed up your shit and left, that was the day that you left all of your rights to ask me questions and wonder what is going on with my life.” Bucky pushed me up against the wall so that I was trapped, it weakened me and so I couldn’t stand up straight against him.

“He’s my best friend and you’re my ex-girlfriend. Isn’t there some sort of loyalty that is there anyway?” Bucky was growling and his chest was moving more and more rapidly. “Just tell me the truth.”

“If you must know, Steve wanted me to talk to him about you, he wanted me to talk to you about the night you left. Are you fucking happy now? Feeling better about yourself? That your best friend is not banging your ex-girlfriend?” I bit my tongue but the taste in my mouth was sour and bitter. “Do you feel more secure about your masculinity now? Feel like a real man?”

Bucky was furious, his eyes were ablaze and I was the reason for it. It was one thing about our relationship that I don’t miss, the constant fighting, the doors slamming and all of the extra heartbreak that came with it as an unwanted package deal. “Wow, real low.” Bucky punched the wall, bits of the plaster crumbled to the floor. “Do you want the truth? Want to know why I left you?”

I stood still, not wanting to answer, not knowing either. Eyes bore into me as I tried to answer but all I could muster was a small nod. “Because I know what you are.” My heart skips and I try to steady my breathing. “I know about it all, I know about your ex-boyfriend.” 

I swallow but there’s nothing in my mouth, it’s dry and I feel sick. “Honestly, I loved you with all of my heart, I loved everything about you. And then I find out that you dated Grant Ward.” Tears well in my eyes and I try to explain myself.

“Are you serious? I had no idea.” I tried to reason with Bucky but he wouldn’t face me, instead he opted for the hole that he created in the wall next to me. “I dated him for a short period of time but I loved you but you don’t care. You’re so hung up on something I had no idea about, you don’t trust me.” 

“Don’t act like you’re the victim here, I loved you, I wanted to marry you but you’re the worst person I’ve ever encountered. You’re a spy, aren’t you, that’s why they started shooting when you were outside the tower?” I gasped at the accusation, Bucky is unbelievable. Bucky’s eyes were watering but I didn’t believe a word of what he said. “I wanted to have children with you, to have a future with you but that wasn’t the same for you, was it? You were in my life to tell Hydra everything.”

“I honestly can’t believe that you think that little of me. I would never do something like that but you don’t believe that.” I wanted to scream so badly but my voice wouldn’t be that loud. “How could you think that of me? I took a wrong turn and then I heard gunshots. Don’t blame me for your trust issues, I did nothing wrong.” 

“Keep saying that and one day you might believe that.” Bucky’s voice was full of malice and I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked away from Bucky with my heart completely destroyed. This time I was the one that walked out and I hope I never see him again. 

Part 3

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@buckyfvckmebarnes @liastian

anonymous asked:

What would be the DramaticTM origin story of the We Hate Batman Club?

(tbh i haven’t really thought about it like the we hate batman club was born out of a crackship ot3 i had a dream about at 4AM but anyways~)

maybe hal finds some magical shit™ in space and is like.. “boi what do i do… better go find someone who knows how to handle this shit.” but zatanna doesn’t answer his calls anymore so he has no choice to bring it to constantine who is like “mate u have no idea what this shit is.. it’s too powerful, could fall into the wrong hands, blah blah blah” then edward enters the story somehow idk maybe this is reformed eddie (or just wants them to think he’s reformed but not really) working as a PI, who is following a lead on some other case but gets info about the magical shit™ and the three have to begrudgingly work together to get to the bottom of it… eddie and john have their own agendas. hal is mostly confused. batman watches in horror from afar, knowing his end must be near, the three biggest pains in his ass have united. might as well just hang up the mantle now..

(idk if @halbarry has anything to add they really helped me flesh this team out lmaoo)