i really should stop because i know it gets worse

Remember Ana

Just remember if you resist today, tomorrow you’ll wake up thinner.

Decide what it is that you want. Write that shit down. Make a fucking plan. And…… work on it! Every single day.

The difference between WANT and NEED is SELF CONTROL.

Ana is SKINNY, Ana has perfect skin, Ana has perfect hair, Ana has perfect nails, Ana has perfect taste in fashion, Ana has perfect grades, Ana is perfect in every sport, Ana is perfectly TINY and fragile, everybody likes Ana.
Be like Ana.

Imagine this:
Food is a demon. And like all demons it wants to get inside you and control you.
And then there is Ana. She is your best friend. She just wants to protect you.
Ana keeps the demons away. Listen to Ana, stay away from food.

Having no discipline is a way to failure. If you are not willing to control your actions to achieve your goals, you can’t expect to achieve success.

Just imagine..
Imagine running your hands over your flat tummy, feeling your hip bones and being happy.
Imagine pulling on a tight tshirt and not feeling self conscious about the way it clings.
Imagine being hugged and their arms going all the way round you as they lift you and remark on how light you are. Imagine being called beautiful no matter what you are wearing because you don’t have a round face or double chin anymore, your cheekbones look contoured without even trying, your collarbones only emphasise your slender neck and tiny shoulders. Imagine the shock in their eyes and their approval as they see how tiny you have become. Imagine being beautiful.

Just imagine it: waking up and seeing yourself skinny, thin and small, you’re finally your goal weight. Imagine how cute all the clothes you’ve wanted to wear for the longest time, finally look. Imagine people telling you how skinny you look, and how much they envy you. Imagine your boyfriend/girlfriend being able to pick you up effortlessly, saying you’re as light as a feather. Imagine how good it will feel, and good you will look. Just imagine.

Just look at yourself. You weak, pathetic excuse of a person. Wanting to be thin and perfect, yet stuffing your face with food? Just STOP IT NOW! Stop eating so much. Focus on not eating, and when you do eat make sure it is healthy and low in calories. Actually, you deserve so much better than you’re doing right now. You deserve to be perfect. Now, quit being a spineless person and fight for that perfect body. Or would you rather sit here stuffing your face with foods, eventually becoming even fatter? Choose your own path..

It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing. 8 weeks for your friends to notice. And 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice. KEEP GOING. 2 weeks to feel it, 4 weeks to see it, 8 weeks to hear it!

Stomach Growling?
Of course it’s not! That’s just the little workers in your body starting the chainsaw they are going to use to carve that fat off of your body ♡

You’re hungry?
Too bad. You’re too fat to eat. If you don’t starve you’ll never reach your goals. You’ll always be fat. Now drink some water. Don’t fuck this up fatty.

The best part about weight loss is feeling it, finally, after being uncomfortable for so long. It’s running your hands over your hip bones, feeling your collarbone and sharp shoulders, the space between you and your clothing when you move. It’s sitting down without your stomach bulging. It’s walking without your thighs slamming together. It’s placing your hand to the side of your face and feeling that delicate cheekbone in your palm. Looking thin is great, but feeling thin is amazing.

Questions Before Eating:
1. Am I going to be happy with myself after I eat this? 
2. Is this food what I planned on eating today?
3. Do I need a distraction right now to resist this temptation?

This girl doesn’t need to hide her belly when she sits down… this girl doesn’t have to be afraid someone could call her fat…this girl never has to think about hiding her belly while making love to her boyfriend….this girl never has problems to find new clothes because everything will fit…. this girl doesn’t have to feel bad standing next to other girls because she is always the skinniest….

Feet together, legs apart,
Collarbones that look like art,
People stare in admiration,
After a month of starvation,
Hips sharp as stones,
Their fingers tracing your bones,
Not a single flaw on your skin
Finding happiness in the form of thin.

Hey Fatty … yes you…you with your chubby red cheeks! …. look at all the girls in the thinspo … this is how you want to look right? yes you do! So why do you even still THINK about food???!! It won’t bring you any closer to your goal weight!!! Food is your enemy which you have to keep out of your mouth…out of your Body….out of your mind …out of your fridge!!!! Your desire to be skinny is so much stronger than your hunger!!! So don’t be ridiculous little fatty…you don’t need this food.

Can you see the floor past your stomach? or is your stomach too bloated. Can you fit those strappy heels around your ankles? Or are they too fat. Can you see your ribs? Or do you have to suck in. Can you fit into number 2 jeans? Or size xxs? Can you wear a choker without actually feeling choked? Can you wear low rise jeans without your muffin top showing? Can you sit up without your stomach spilling over your upper thighs? Can you wear a crop top without feeling embarrassed? DON’T EAT.

Anti binge
Remember how you look naked
Remember how your thighs touch
Remember how you look at others
Remember how your stomach looks
Remember how unhappy you are
Remember how we are always here
Remember how your friends look
Remember how you envy them
Remember how ashamed you are
Remember how long it took
Remember how you felt last time
Remember how it’s not worth it
Remember how you tell your lies
Remember how you want to change
Remember how your body looks
Remember how people see fat
Imagine YOU when its done
Remember how far you have come!

with every meal I skip…
…i can feel my stomach shrinking.
…i can feel my body digesting fat. 
…i can feel my eyes sinking. 
…i can feel my cheeks hollowing. 
…i feel one step closer to my next goal weight. 
…i feel like i’m worth something. 
…i feel like i can do this. 
…i feel less hungry come the next meal.
…i feel a little prettier than i was before. 
…i feel a little thinner than i was before. 
…i feel a little stronger than i was before. 
…i gain more self-confidence. 
…it is easier to imagine the pounds slipping away. 
…it is easier to skip another meal later. 
…i love myself a little more. 
…i want to starve more.
…i want to restrict more. 
…i want to lose more.
but most of all…
…i want to skip the next meal…

Ketosis flu
I’m currently experiencing the dreaded ketosis flu. I’ve been looking at pro ana for almost a year now, and I’ve never seen this mentioned so I will give a brief explanation due to what I’ve learned today. Trust me, you’ll need to know about this if you’re restricting calories.
Ketosis flu is the side effects of your body producing ketones. Basically, our bodies normally burn glucose but when you start a low carb/calorie restricting diet, your body starts producing ketones instead meaning you burn fat instead of glucose.
I know what you’re thinking, yes! Fat burning! And you’re right, it’s great, but the transition of your body going from burning glucose to burning fat can give you ketosis flu.
What are the symptoms?
-feeling faint
-high heart rate
-‘fruiting’ smelling breath (due to acetone from ketones)
-extreme fatigue
Sound familiar? The first thing you want to do during this is eat some carbs. And sure, it might make you feel better, but this is giving up.
To get over ketosis flu without giving up and going back to burning glucose, you should drink PLENTY of water and eat really salty and *drumroll* fatty foods! This will speed up the transition and you will get over the ketosis flu anywhere from 2 days to a week depending on your body. The last thing you want to do is give up because once you get over the flu, your energy returns to normal AND you’ll be a fat burning machine!
Stay strong angels x

I know
I know what I’m doing to my body is wrong. That if I really want to lose weight, I should be healthy about it. I know that I shouldn’t put this stress on my body but I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop because in my mind how thin I am, how low the number on that scale is equals how high my self esteem is and how good I look. To someone that can’t control how the world is around them is, controlling how they look and what they eat is everything.
Please understand.

How to convince people you aren’t getting worse:
•only eat around people!!!
•cut up food into tiny pieces to make it seem like you’ve eaten more
•eat five bites of a meal if you have to eat, no more, no less

anonymous asked:

Um my blog isn't doing very good lately.... I'm losing followers, people stopped asking me things so I have to fake asks... and my depression makes me feel 1,000 times worse about my blog then I should, I'm not getting notes Either, I feel like giving up. I really like doing this blog and I don't wanna quit it.... my art is terrible because I have to hand draw it and it makes it look like garbage. I don't know what to do please help @karamatsuanswers

Your art doesn’t look like garbage at all! Traditional art is all good!! The little thing that draws me would know, she’s never used a tablet in her life!! And… You did say you like doing this blog, don’t you?? You SHOULD do what you like! It’s best to do what you like!

WE DEPEND ON YOU!! And it’s hard to do what you like sometimes when you feel no one’s there to support you!! And it can make people feel so terrible about themselves and it’s SO SAD! SO!! SAD!! Karamatsu-niisan here is putting himself out there and willing to answer questions, so please send asks! And love!! That kind of love makes life better!! Please help, guys, and YOU, please don’t give up!!


spaaghettii  asked:

Mom, help please, I'm nonbinary and have a real different name because it's a religious thing, and there's some people in my marching band making fun of it. I have the option of going to my director to stop it, but that requires outing myself to him and I don't know if he's then required to tell my parents, who are, like REALLY conservative. Should I risk it to get them to stop, or should I try to resolve it on my own?

I think its best to resolve it on your own. if it gets worse, though, I think you should just tell your director that people are calling you sonething that you’d rather not be called/go into, and you want them to stop

Thanks Michael (Ashton)

Requested by anon - Imagine where you’re on the tour bus with the boys & one night on the way to the next city you wake up with a stomach ache & throw up in the bathroom but your boyfriend is still sleeping & you start crying from the pain so you go to the lounge area on the bus & another boy comes to comfort you & your boyfriend thanks them for helping you in the morning😊 fyi you guys are hella fabulous and I love you all v much like you guys do what you want you’re all punk rock✌️xoxo thanks beebz

Aww! Thanks for thinking we are hella fab! I’m sorry that this one is so short but I hope you like the way it came out!

“Y/N?” Michael says from the doorway. When I look up, he is rubbing his eyes and squinting in the light. 

“I’m sorry Michael, I was trying not to wake anyone up” I say through tears. He crouches down and pulls my hair away from my face before flushing the toilet.”

“How long have you been in here?” he asks. I close my eyes and breath in through my nose and out through pursed lips. 

“I’ve been nauseous for a couple hours but I just started to” I grab my stomach and groan. 

“What’s wrong? What can I do?” Michael sounds close to panic but not quite there. 

“There is nothing left to throw up” I sob into his shoulder. “My body wants to throw up but there is nothing there.” He runs his hand up and down my back. 

“I should go get Ash” he tells me but I grab his free arm. 

“No, please let him sleep. He hasn’t been sleeping well” I beg. Michael helps me up to standing and walks with his hand on my lower back into the lounge. 

“I’ll be right back” he tells me and he grabs a small trash basket and a wet wash cloth from the front room. I lay down on the couch and he sits so that my head is rested on his lap. His hand runs up and down my back again as he holds the wash cloth to my forehead. 

“I really didn’t mean to wake anyone, Michael” I say to him. 

“It’s not a big deal, it happens.” 

“It’s not fair that you are still up though, you can go back to bed and not worry about me” I try. 

“You hardly had enough strength to get back here to the lounge Y/N. I’m going to stay up and take care of you and that’s that” he says back. I sigh and decide that he is right and I don’t have the energy to fight him even if I wanted to. 


I am partially awakened when I feel my head being lifted from Michael’s warm lap and placed onto a cool pillow. I stir but only enough to get myself comfortable again. 

“I didn’t even know she was getting sick” Ashton says with a hint of sadness in his voice. 

“She told me not to wake you up” Michael says back. My bunk is right by the bathroom so I heard it, you are on the other side. I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, I’m pretty sure she didn’t even want anyone to hear.”

“Thanks for taking care of her bro” Ashton mumbles. 

“Nah, it’s all good. It’s like finally having a little sister” Michael laughs a little. 

“She is older than you” Ashton points out. 

“Details, details. I wouldn’t wake her up though. This happened at like 3 am so she has got to be exhausted.”

“You should go to bed too. I can’t imagine that sleeping while sitting like that was very comfortable.” 

“Far from it” Michael chuckles and I hear him walk away. I hear a shuffle and assume that Ashton is leaving the room so I put my arm out towards him and make grabbing motions with my hands. 

“Cuddle” I mumble and I hear him laugh lightly. 

“Who am I to deny you after you insisted I slept last night” he says softly. He lays himself behind me on the couch and wraps his arm around me but I turn to face him. He kisses my forehead and makes a worried face. 

“What?” I ask worried. 

“You’re burning up, maybe we should take you to a doctor” he says. 

“Maybe I’m just hot from sleeping on Michael’s lap all night” I wink as I try to act normally even though I feel horrid. 

“Don’t make me go beat him up” he teases. “I really do think we should get you to a doctor.”

“When we get to Boston I will see someone but I don’t want to make you stop and screw up the times” I answer. 

“Okay” he conceeds. “But if you get worse, I will pull this bus over” he tells me back. I know he means it which is another reason I didn’t tell him about me getting sick last night because I knew he would want me to get looked at and I can’t risk that. I can’t risk that when I know that there is a strong possibility that I’m pregnant. I can’t risk him finding that out, not yet.


anonymous asked:

i'm feeling so bad, like never before. and i don't know what to do

  • put some kickass music on

M83 - intro
the weeknd - devils may cry
coldplay - charlie brown
banks - bedroom wall
bastille - the draw
arctic monkeys - fireside
jetta - start a riot
polica - amongster
beyoncé - grown woman
miles cane - a girl like you
the black keys - she long gone
the neighbourhood - silver

  • take a really hot or a really cold shower
  • then put on your most comfy clothes
  • make yourself tea or a coffee (maybe something to eat)
  • is someone in your house? then go to them and I don’t know what you usually do together but maybe just talk? something I play cards with my mum
  • if nobody is home call someone or take a walk
  • read a good book?
  • there are some links here with good things to do when you do not know what you should do
  • really important is to not begin this kind of thinking circle because they get really dark and darker before you have thought everything more worse than it really is. stop yourself somehow if you’re already in there. a shower helps me a lot when I get like that.
  • if you need someone to talk still then I’m here though I have to warn you I am not good with people :)
  • do not think about the future or the past or the present or your body or school or boyfriends or girlfriends or the world or anything just do what makes you feel good and then tomorrow is a better day and make a plan how you can get better but not today. please not today.
  • there are always chances your life turns around 100 percent sure that it will. whatever you want to do, it’s possible. wherever you want to go. you can go there and you can be anything and you can become whoever you want to be. please do not give up on your life or on yourself. we have so much to do and so many places to see and so many girls and boys to kiss and in so many unmade beds to sleep in all day because we’ve been on adventures all night. this is a part of your life but this is not your life. you’ll be alright please.  I know that things get better. I believe in yourself please take care of yourself today and tomorrow you’ll write another page in your book.
VIXX Zelos Rant

I understand where people are coming from when they say that they don’t quite enjoy VIXX’s newest single album but I feel like I need to address a couple of things.
1) I admit, some of my favorite VIXX eras are their dark eras, but does this mean I always want dark VIXX? No. That would get boring. Wash, rinse, repeat is basically what people are asking for when they ask for constant dark VIXX.
And also, I don’t think VIXX wants to be known as “that one dark group”. I feel like they want to be known as more than that.
2) Please, I beg, stop saying that Dynamite is a Love Me Right rip off. In all honesty, I don’t care if you genuinely think the two songs sound alike, or if you’re just saying it because others are, either way it’s getting really annoying really fast.
3) Just because you don’t like a song, doesn’t mean it’s the worse song ever and that everyone should dislike it. You see, this is an example of why knowing the difference between facts and opinions is important. A fact is something that has been proven, is constantly true, and has an incorrect (or many incorrect) counterpart(s). An opinion is something that varies depending on who you ask, and is usually never wrong if the opinion is genuine. Some things can’t have an opinion formed on them, it’s either right or wrong. And some things can’t have a fact formed on them. Of course, facts could be used to support an opinion. But let’s move on from definitions and actually focus on my point.
I’ve seen people saying that this is a horrible album and how they don’t understand how people could like it. This just really gets to me because, the answer is so simple. People like it because everyone’s opinion varies. End of story.
4) Even if you think you’ll never like it, and even though you may be right, I always suggest to people to have an open mind. Because if you do, you’ll be surprised with how you can change. I have many examples, but one staying true to the topic is this:
When I first heard Error I wasn’t really feeling it all. I listened to it many times, but it still would never really appeal to me. But after keeping an open mind and taking a few more listens over a span of a few weeks, I had finally realized that I did like the song. It just took me a while to figure that out. It’s now one of my favorites.
Now, am I saying to listen to a song that doesn’t appeal to you on repeat for a month? No, of course not. All I’m saying is to keep an open mind. I don’t want to say some corny quote that I just came up with on the spot that has probably been said before, but in my opinion, an open mind is an open door. (I’m sorry, that was really bad.)

Personally, I quite enjoy the 3 songs on the album. I understand that others don’t. And, personally, I enjoyed the songs on the Chained Up album, and, once again, others didn’t. And that’s fine, we’re allowed to disagree.

Thank you for reading, though I bet you wish you hadn’t because I probably bored you half to death, and/or made no sense whatsoever. Bye!! 🌟

Hyo Joo Kim shoots lowest ever round in a Major Championship

Hyo Joo Kim fired a stunning 10-under-par 61 – the lowest ever round in men’s or women’s major - to take a four stroke lead after the first round of the Evian Championship in France.

The 19-year-old from South Korea fired 10 birdies on a sunny day at the Evian Resort Golf Club, with five on both the front and back nine.

“My goal is have a good experience in here.  That’s all,” said Kim, through a translator. Kim, with four professional victories in total, had previously shot an 11-under-par 61 on the LPGA of Japan in 2013.

The World No.20, who leads the Korean LPGA money list after three wins this season, birdied the first, third, fourth, sixth and ninth holes. She then continued with birdies on holes 11, 13, 14, 16 and 18 to seal the lowest round in a Major and the tournament record for 18 holes on the redesigned Evian Resort Golf Course.

The previous lowest round in a women’s major championship was 62, by Minea Blomqvist at the 2004 Women’s British Open at Sunningdale, which was equalled by Lorena Ochoa at the 2006 Kraft Nabisco Championship. The lowest round in a men’s major is 63 which has been recorded multiple times.

Kim’s caddie, Gordon Rowan, from Ayrshire in Scotland, was also on her bag when she tied for fourth in the 2012 Evian Masters at the same venue as an amateur and he said: “She has a very good all round game. She’s not a massive hitter but has a very decent length and keeps up with the girls but she’s so straight and this is a course where you need to hit fairways because the rough is very thick. Her accuracy into the greens means that she’s never far away. She also has a very good temperament and even on days when she’s fighting and putts don’t fall she keeps going and going and going.”

Kim is a freshman at Seoul University studying Physical Education and when asked about her favourite golfer she said, ‘Adam Scott’ and was then highly excited to learn that Annika Sorenstam was on site at Evian.

Australian Karrie Webb, the 2006 Evian Masters champion, is four strokes behind Kim in second position after opening with six-under-par 65, containing eight birdies and two bogeys, while South Korean MJ Hur is a stroke further behind in solo third.

The defending champion Suzann Pettersen of Norway opened with a four-under 67 to share fourth place with Brittany Lincicome of the United States. A large group of six players including last week’s Helsingborg Open champion Dewi-Claire Schreefel from the Netherlands and French Solheim Cup player Karine Icher share sixth place on three-under-par.

World No.3 Lydia Ko, 17, the runner-up as an amateur in 2013, opened with a two-under-par 69 to share 12th place and there was a solid performance from Dame Laura Davies, who shot a one-under-par 70 to lie in a share of 28th. 

Scotland’s Kylie Walker, who retired from the Helsingborg Open on Sunday with a neck injury, made a tremendous start and was leading the championship after four birdies in her first 10 holes but made four double bogeys in a row from the 13th for a four-over 75. 

Michelle Wie, the US Women’s Open champion, retired after 13 holes during the first round due to pain from a stress reaction in her right index finger, having last played at the Meijer LPGA Classic in early August, where she had to retire for the same reason during the first round.

“I had hoped it was a week later, but, you know, I just really wanted to come to France.  I really love this tournament,” said Wie. “It was at a point where it was touch and go.  I just wanted so see if I could play.  The doctors just told me, ‘It’s all up to you.’  It just depends on if it hurts or not. But they did tell me if it did hurt to stop right away just because it could get worse.

“I was out there and I knew I should have stopped earlier but I was having so much fun out there I wanted to keep playing. But it got to the point where it was too painful.  So I just made the smart decision to not play.” 

Despite not finishing the championship, Wie could still win the inaugural Rolex Annika Major Award for the most outstanding record in all five major championships this season, which will be decided this weekend.