i really should go more often

A Little Too Drunk Starters:
  • “Oh, HELL no! Not in MY bed!”
  • "We watched some horror movie.. I think it’s called, ‘the Teletubbies..’?”
  • “Pants are just an illusion.”
  • “Shut the fuck up a pikachu onesie does so suit me.”
  • “Hey, man, I hate to tell you this, but I think your dog’s cheating on you..”
  • “Hey, the cat crashed your car.”
  • “I thought today was your birthday, so I rented a bouncy house, but then I remembered it isn’t, so now we have a bouncy house.”
  • “It’s not a mattress, it’s my kingdom and you are encroaching on it.”
  • “[NAME]’s a VIP at that one strip club….. What’s it called again… 'Golden Corral’?”
  • “I’m bleeding?!”
  • “I have to tell you a secret…”
  • “You think it’s important that I lost my shirt?! You think it’s important?! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IMPORTANT!!! CALLIOU CAN’T FUCKIN’ TIE HIS SHOES!!!”
  • “I need at least seven sweet and sour sauces or I’m fucked.”
  • “I was pretending to be a ninja and the blade of the knife just flew right off and broke the window.”
  • “Look, man, I didn’t mean to pee on you.”
  • “Thanks for letting me room with you… By the way, vodka makes me gassy.”  
  • “You want to go to Taco Bell?”
  • “I lost [NAME]. Have you seen them?”
  • “Wow, you look so much better when I’m drunk. You should try it more often.”
  • “I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT A LULLABY!!”
  • “Hello, 911? Are you still awake?”
  • “Jesus told me to do it.”
  • “I’m really sorry I’m so creepy everybody…”
  • "This is awful. I am inventing electricity, and you look like an asshole.”
  • “How many nutrients do you think there are in dog biscuits? I already ate, like five.”
  • “HOLY SHIT HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET SO TALL? WHAT THE FUCK?”
  • “Hamsters have feelings, too..”
  • “Who convinced me to come here?”
  • “The dog looked so lonely.. So I took it home.”
  • “I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!”
  • “Look at all this snow. Imagine if it was sand, but still cold. No wait, warm snow. Man, that’d be cool..”
  • “You’re not very hot, but maybe after another beer or two..”
Why Ochako is Actually a Complex Character

I was going to save this post until after finals were over for me BUT THEN I REMEMBERED IT IS MY DARLING PRINCESS’S BIRTHDAY TODAY AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE HER BIRTHDAY THAN TO MAKE A POST THAT CELEBRATES HER.

 So leggo.

 Now I won’t go into overall details about her because I already did that in this post that you can read right here, which I essentially discussed how she’s actually an amazing WSJ heroine and whoever voted her the worst should put their heads in sand because they don’t deserve to see the rest of the world (I kid I kid, promise!).

 Rather, I wanted to challenge the viewpoints people have of her and really argue on the fact that Ochako Uraraka is actually more of a complex character than we give her credit for. Most often than not, the fandom looks towards Katsuki or Izuku or even Todoroki and they build them up and go on and on about their complexity in the series. Hell, those three are my friend’s favorite characters and they are fan favorites for a multitude of reasons that they deserve. I myself have made numerous posts about Katsuki since we are given such complex views of him as well as the others in the series. They are the main focus in the story and their growth has been some of the best we’ve ever seen in a series.

 However, characters iike Ochako, who actually does have a lot of complexity and dimensionality, get lost in their wake and I really want to talk about that.

 Most often than not, when we see Ochako, we see this bubbly smiling girl who has such a wonderful and positive attitude that sometimes comes off ditzy. One glance at her and the words that come to mind are cute, adorable, fluffy, etc because that is the type of character that she mostly is. She is the female support of Izuku and the way she contributes to the story is with her adorable attitude that lightens up the mood in certain situations like the Ground Zero fight and even the room competition (did you see how cute she was with Iida’s glasses!?).

 Yet, what bothers me and possibly other really hardcore fans of her is that she isn’t just this bubbly character that smiles on the side but she does have complex issues that really makes her character more interesting in comparison to other characters.

 I mean for starters, this girl is the QUEEN of keeping her emotions from people and really suppressing them in most situations and not letting them get in the way of what she wants to get done.

 For example, the first real example of this is when she lost to her fight with Katsuki.

Now let’s remember situational factors going into this: we just found out her true goals into going to heroics (which was said in a much more serious tone than we had ever seen from her before)

we found out she was incredibly nervous to be facing Katsuki (and again WAS SUPPRESSING HER EMOTIONS)

we saw her rejecting Izuku’s help (as well as her little speech about feeling ashamed)


we saw her PUTTING HER ALL INTO THAT FIGHT TO SHOW HER TRUE STRENGTH

 So seeing her crying when she’s speaking to her family isn’t just some small defeated thing but it really gives us so much insight in her character and who she is as a person. We finally see how truly hard she is on herself and the perfectionist personality that she usually keeps hidden from others. You can even see by her facial expression when Izuku left that she put on a face for him to not let him get more worried then he already was. 

 And then don’t even get me started with her attitude during the Hero License Exam because oh my gosh, that was so powerful from her.

 From that, we first see her being so strategic af:

Then we get this amazing speech from Izuku about her and how he could have told the difference between her and Kemi (notice the plan part!)

Of course her being a BA here cuz eh why not, she’s really grown from her training

THEN LET’S SKIP TO HER PUSHING HER FEELINGS DOWN FOR IZUKU


I just

There are so many moments of Ochako that I missed that would have proved my point even further than this but these moments here showcase how complex and really interesting Ochako is as a character.

 The bubbly personality that we see from her is only a piece of the whole picture and you could even argue that she’s so good at suppressing her emotions that it’s the personality she chooses to portray to others to keep her other emotions away from people because she doesn’t want to burden others. I personally don’t know if that’s true at all and maybe it is, maybe it isn’t but the fact is that she isn’t just some character that sits on the side and looks cute and adorable. There are so elements about her that makes her different and the fight she had with Katsuki really changed her as well as her inspiration from Izuku. She took both of those interactions with those characters and used them to better herself and it’s just SO POWERFUL. Not many shounen female heroines do that so it’s so refreshing to have Ochako be the way she is.

 Overall, as obvious as it must be, Ochako is one of my favorite characters and I’m so excited to see the growth she’s going to have more in the series. Her feelings for Izuku got cut off during the exam so that’s an arc we need to get from her and I know I want to see Ochako kicking Katsuki’s ass and actually winning to show how much she’s grown from the beginning. I have so much hope that Horikoshi has so many plans for her character and I’m so excited to see what he has in store for her and how he will continue to build upon her.

 Regardless, Happy Birthday Ochako!

 TLDR: Ochako is a very complex character and I wish more people celebrated that.

SKAMS04E10 Clip 2 - Penetrator Chris

CHRIS: Hey.

EVA: Hey. Did you sleep well?

CHRIS: Mhm.

EVA: Mhm.

CHRIS: I just dreamt something fucked up.

EVA: Yeah, what?

CHRIS: I dreamt that I was at my old elementary school. And we were eating lunch outside, me and Caroline, who was my girlfriend in fourth grade and then you were walking past and I was like “Wow, damn”! And then I walked up to you and I was like “Hey, do you wanna date me?” in front of Caroline.

EVA: What did I say?

CHRIS: You said yes, of course.

EVA: Yes? Of course? Okay?

CHRIS: And that’s supposed to mean…?

EVA: That we’re never going to be together.

CHRIS: Why not?

EVA: Why? Because..

CHRIS: Because?

EVA: Because you.. are..

CHRIS: I am? What am I?

EVA: A cheating fuckboy.

CHRIS: Ouch..

EVA: Hi, Vilde.

VILDE: Hi, what are you doing?

EVA: Nothing in particular…

VILDE: Listen, I wanted to do something nice for Sana at that Eid-celebration, to show her how much we love her.

EVA: Yes! We can do that!

VILDE: So I’ve read a bit about Eid and it’s common to give gifts, but it’s often just to kids and money and stuff, and it’d be a bit weird to give her money. I wanna give her something really special, so do you have any ideas?

EVA: Uhm… No, I don’t know, but we should probably ask someone for some advice, maybe someone who knows more than us,

VILDE: Yeah, I agree. We’ll ask a Muslim.

EVA: Hey, but listen, maybe I’ll call you up a bit later or something?

VILDE: Okayyy!

EVA: Okayyy, bye! Where were we?

CHRIS: We were talking about if we’re going to get together.

EVA: I don’t think so..

CHRIS: You don’t? Because I think you may want to.

EVA: Nooo..

CHRIS: You sure?

EVA: Yes, I’m sure.

CHRIS: Totally sure?

EVA: Yes, very.

MOM: Eva?

EVA: Hide!

CHRIS: Why?

MOM: Hi!

EVA: Hi..

MOM: Oh, I’m sorry! Uhm..

EVA: Uhm.. I have company.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Uhm.. This is..

CHRIS: Hey! Chris.

MOM: Hi. Chris.

CHRIS: Is your name also Chris?

MOM: Yeah, no, my name is Anne Marit.

CHRIS: Oh, okay. That makes sense.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Yes.

MOM: I’m sorry for just.. I didn’t know Eva had a boyfriend.

EVA: We’re not together.

CHRIS: Yet.

MOM: Yes, but that’s.. You’ll figure that out.. Okay.

EVA: Oh my God.

CHRIS: Oh, well.

EVA: Why did you stand up?

CHRIS: I had to introduce myself. I was raised well. You have to say hi to people.

EVA: You could’ve introduce yourself another time!

[TRANS] ‘WINGS: YOU NEVER WALK ALONE’ - Jimin Thanks To

In this album released at the time of the new year, I want to ask for your support this year too.

First of all, my family
I miss you, I’m sorry that I can’t stay beside to take care of you even if I want too. My beloved family, please don’t forget that I always love you.
I’m always grateful to you guys.

Our members, Namjoonie-hyung, Seokjinie-hyung, Hoseokie-hyung, Yoongi-hyung, Taehyungie, Jungkookie
Thinking of it, we have reached our 5th year.
I always feel this but, it seems like I can gain strength from looking at you guys, who are always by my side. We used to not match well but now I think we’re really like brothers.
I always want to say thank you to you guys who make me enjoy everything I do even more.
I love you.

Bang Shihyuk PD-nim, Vice President Yoojung, Director Shinkyu, Director Seokjoon, Director Chaeeun, Director Lee Hyuk
Hobeomie-hyung, Sungseokie-hyung, Sejinie-hyung, Jungilie-hyung, Yoonjae-hyung, Sunhakie-hyung, Kwangtaekie-hyung
Pdogg PD-nim, Dohyungie-hyung, Donghyukie-hyung, Junsangie
Teacher Sungdeuk,  Sunghyunie-hyung, Hyunjoo-noona, Sunkyung-noona, Gabriel-hyung, Gaheonie
Jooyoungie-hyung, Changwonie-hyung, Bosungie-hyung, Wooyoungie-hyung, team leader Jaedong
Woojung-noona, Hayan-noona, Surin-noona, Hyunji-noona, Bunhong-noona, Hyeyoung-noona
Team leader Heesun, Seuli-noona, Nayeob-noona, Seolhee-noona, Jinah-noona, Kyungjin-noona, Yoori-noona, Onnuri-noona
Sungho-hyungnim, Hyojin-noona, Sunjung-noona, Mijung-noona, Yeonhee-noona, Seungwoo-hyungnim, Hyewon-nim, Yeji-nim
Hyukki-hyung, Eunjung-noona, Eunsang-hyungnim, Junho-hyungnim
Jungwook-hyungnim, Junsu-hyungnim, Hyunmin-hyungnim
Joowon-nim, Jooyeon-nim, Daito-sensei

Our family, including Bang Shihyuk PD-nim who thinks of us more than anybody else
Our beloved manager hyungs who stay up all night to stay with us and always go through so much, our PD-nims who always work hard to create good contents, our noonas and hyungs who work so hard from behind to make us become better idols… I’m really grateful to all of you, please don’t get hurt and I hope you will be happy like us, even happier than us.
And our Seolhee-noona, Bosungie-hyung who have worked really hard so far, please come visit often. You’re always welcomed.

Head of Department Dareum, Head of Department Naejoo, Head of Department Jihye, Jinyoungie-hyung, Hyunah-noona, Seolji-nim, Songhee-noona, Sohee-noona
Head of Department Hajung, Hyesoo-noona, Seoyeon-noona, Yeonhee-nim, Jieun-nim

I always feel uneasy that I can’t say thank you to you often. I should say more of those things to people who are close to us like family. Our hyungs, noonas who stay up all night with us, who go through a lot, who work hard to make us look better, I love you so so much and thank you.
I’ll do better~~ I love you.

Our family members including Director Lumpens, Director Hyunwoo, Director GDW, Writer Kim Hyungshik, Writer Kim Rinyong, Writer Jung Seok, Junsu-hyungnim, Writer Sung Goo, Plan A family including Sangwook PD-nim, Heena PD-nim, Hyunjung-seonsaengnim.

I think now we’ve become like a family just like our company members. I’m thankful for the wonderful contents that you always create for us, but more than that it’s thanks to you making us feel comfortable and enjoy on every set that we can do it more enjoyably. Please take care of us this year too.

Just Dance family, my friends, our Jinwoo-hyung

I wanted to say this but, I’m always thankful to you for staying by my side.

Hyungnims whom I adore and love, Timo-hyung, Sungwoon-hyung, Taeminie-hyung, Kwonho-hyung, Jonginie-hyung
I see you guys as much as our members so you may feel embarrassed reading these stuffs, but thanks to you I have fun everyday. Now please let the maknae treat once. I love you.

A.R.M.Ys

We have already reached our 5th year? Time flies so fast that even I wonder since when time goes by this.
Don’t worry, we still have so many things to show you guys, so with this album as the start, we’ll get to spend this year together too. Let’s kick off this album with fun and enjoy this year.
I hope you will all have a happy new year, don’t get hurt and be happy. I love you!

Those who always stay with us, I love you.

Sincerely, Jimin

Jin | Suga | J-hope | Rap Monster | Jimin | V | Jungkook

Teen Wolf Preference - Fake Dating

DEREK HALE

Derek couldn’t believe you had convinced him into doing this.

“You want me to what?” he’d asked, not sure if he’d heard you correctly.  

“I just need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for this event since… I kinda already told everyone that you’re my boyfriend and you were coming. There’ll be free food and alcohol and you won’t even have to talk to many people!”

This had naturally intrigued Derek but there had been something that he couldn’t help but ask you.

“Really? You picked me for your big fake boyfriend plan? You know I don’t… get along well with people around here. Why not Parrish?”

Derek could see Parrish pulling up now at the event in his police uniform. Parrish wasn’t a bad guy but Derek couldn’t help but clench his fists at the sight of him. He wasn’t one to get jealous easily but this guy just put his teeth on edge.

“Shit! Parrish! Why didn’t I think of that?” you’d said angrily, shaking your head, “well, it’s too late. Will you just please go with me, Derek? It’s just one night. We can fake break up the next day.”

Derek had then thought for a moment, making sure to avoid your eye. You had a particular pleading look that you often gave him that made it hard for him to ever say no to you. But he couldn’t resist and looked at you, and it was then that he decided that he was going to be a part of your fake dating charade and he was going to be the best fake date there ever was.

“You came!”

Derek was pulled out of his trance, turning to see you hurrying towards him with a grin on your face.

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

You shook your head, “I just wasn’t sure. Wow, you look really good, you should wear suits more often.”

“I always look good,” he offered his hand, smiling a little as you took it. Your hand was so tiny compared to his. “You don’t look too bad either.”

That was an understatement. Derek always thought you looked gorgeous but right now, he was so blown away by how beautiful you looked that he had to remind himself to breathe.

Gee, thanks. We’re running a bit behind – I’d planned to have at least 2 drinks by now.”

The event was in full swing and Derek felt like he was in high school again. First of all, the event was being held in the school’s hall as the community one was under construction and second of all, he found himself watching protectively over you as he heard several greasy men comment on how good you looked.

“I was wondering when the two of you were going to get together,” Jordan Parrish congratulated the two of you, avoiding Derek’s intimidating stare, “all (Y/N) ever talked about was ‘how hot Derek is’.”

Your eyes widened, taking a rather large sip of your drink as you elbowed Jordan ‘playfully’.

“I did not!”

All throughout the night people had approached you and Derek and gave similar comments (minus the snarky one Jordan gave), saying that they’d seen the two of you out on dates and were wondering when you were going to call it official. In all honesty, neither you or Derek had considered your outings to be dates but now that he was thinking back on it, he wondered if he should start considering them as just that.

Derek proceeded to smile as Jordan winced from the hit you gave him, “well, it was a surprise to me actually. I had always thought the two of you were going to get together.”

“Nah, (Y/N) has only ever had eyes for you!” Jordan glanced at your now nearly empty glass, “want a refill?”

“God, yes please. I’m gonna be needing something heavier at this rate.”

“Completely agree with you.” and with a wink, Jordan disappeared back through the crowd towards the bar and Derek shifted his focus back to you.

“I feel a bit stupid for being jealous of him now,” he admitted, smelling the embarrassment on you which only caused his smile to widen more. Derek honestly couldn’t remember smiling this much since he was a teenager and it turned out a lot of people at the event were being a lot kinder to him because of it.

“Yeah, well, I picked you as my fake boyfriend for a reason. It’s believable and everyone seems to already think it was happening.”

You wished Jordan would hurry up with that drink.

Derek could hear your heart racing and you glanced up at him, something seeming to occur to you as a surprised expression dawned on your face.

“Holy shit – you don’t actually like me, do you?”

He leaned closer to you, his grin seeming rather wolfish now.

“By the sounds of it,” he pointed to your heart, “you feel the same way.”

Derek was now the one taken aback as very quickly, you closed the gap between the two of you and pressed a hard kiss against his lips.

“Stupid werewolf powers.” Was all you said as a low growl came from the back of Derek’s throat, Jordan now walking up from behind you with drinks in his hand. Derek wanted to desperately kiss you just a little longer but as his eyes met briefly with yours, he knew the whole dating charade was going to become a lot more realistic and there was going to be endless amount of time to kiss you.


ISAAC LAHEY

“Sorry man. You probably won’t have a lot to contribute to the conversation considering you’ve never had a girlfriend,” Stiles teased for what felt like the millionth time as he and Isaac stood by the lockers waiting for the rest of the group to arrive.

Stiles had just asked him for advice for an upcoming date but then took it back quickly saying he probably would just ask Scott about it in the car. A low growl escaped Isaac’s lips as he tried to remind himself that Stiles just wasn’t worth it as the idiot seemed to get off on annoying him. And unfortunately, it was working and sometimes Isaac was just a bit impulsive.

“Well, not one that you know of.”

Stiles’s eyebrow quirked up and a Grinch like smile came across his face, wondering if he was hearing this right.

“A girlfriend in fourth grade doesn’t count,” he reminded and Isaac’s hands balled into fists.

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Because it isn’t real, Isaac thought.

Stiles nodded, “oh, yeah right, sure, sure.”

The tone in his voice was enough for Isaac to glance around and see you and Lydia walking in the opposite direction of where he was standing. You and Isaac weren’t close but you got along like a house on fire, regularly working together on pack ‘missions’ or sometimes you just studied together in the library. He’d been asked several times if he was interested in you, all those times he just shrugged as an answer but if anyone was to believe he was dating someone, you would be a good candidate.

“(Y/N),” Isaac said, “(Y/N) and I have been dating.”

Stiles looked as if he’d just discovered gold.

“(Y/N)? You want me to believe that? She’s way out of your league!” and then he was shouting, “(Y/N)! Are you and Isaac dating?”

Lydia and you stopped your walking, Lydia raising her eyebrows at you as you turned around slowly. Everyone in the hallway seemed to go quiet, interested in this little bit of gossip and you met with Isaac’s horrified eyes.

“Uh, yes?” was all you said before continuing on your way, Lydia beginning to smack you excitedly at discovering this information as Stiles turning back to Isaac.

“I can’t believe you weren’t just fucking with me. You should invite her to come bowling with all of us tomorrow night – Lydia will be there so she won’t feel so weird. I seriously can’t believe you landed a girlfriend like that, fuck.”

Isaac couldn’t believe that he’d landed a fake girlfriend like that either.

That night, Isaac found himself climbing into your bedroom and nearly scaring you half to death.

“What the shit?” you hissed, pausing the show you were watching, “first you say we’re dating and now you’re climbing through my window? Did I miss something?”

He smiled sheepishly, brushing off a few sticks that got caught in his sweater while trying to climb up through your window.

“Uh, I know normal people just text but I thought I should just ask you in person. I didn’t really think this through –,”

You cut him off, “yeah, I can see that.”

“But, fuck this is stupid. Stiles was being a dick and I kind of just said you were my girlfriend so he’d leave me alone. I didn’t think he’d actually, uh, ask you about it but do… you wanna go bowling with the group of us tomorrow?”

You’d always had a crush on Isaac. He was one of the first guys to ever really notice you and see you for more than just your looks and you wanted to throw one of your pillows at him and demand he take you out on a proper date because you genuinely liked him. But even though he freaked you out a bit by abruptly climbing through your window at that time of night, you couldn’t resist him.

“Fine. But before you leave, I already answered a bunch of our relationship questions to Lydia so you’ll have to learn them. And you’re paying for my shoes and games for bowling. Oh, and when we fake break up, it’ll be a mutual break up and it can’t be weird.”

You weren’t particularly eager to be out bowling with the group. You got along well with everyone and they were being overly nice to you ever since they found out you and Isaac were ‘dating’. A few times Stiles had said to you ‘really, Isaac?’ but other than that, no one really questioned it. The people in the group who were wolves didn’t even suspect that the two of you were faking the whole ordeal because they could hear how fast your heart rates were when you were around one another, which made everything much easier.

“Lydia said she invited you to come earlier in the week but you said no.” Isaac said, his arm wrapped around you rather lazily as you watched Scott get up for his first go. It felt rather natural for the two of you to be like this, having small touches here and there and sneaking each other little glances. It was comfortable and you had to remind yourself that this was all supposed to be a charade.

“Uh, did I forget to mention that I can’t bowl?”

“You know you’re up next, right?”

You nodded, “yeah, that’s why I’m just a bit nervous.”

Scott got a strike, grinning as he turned to the group who were all rolling their eyes at the unfairness of him having werewolf abilities which were a rather big help in the situation. You wished you had the abilities because you had no idea what you were about to do.

“C’mon,” Isaac helped you to your feet, picking up your ball for you and beginning to walk towards your lane.

“Seriously? What are you doing?”

He handed you the ball, smiling a little and back at the seats the two of you were already earning a few ‘awes’.

“I’ll help you, it’s the least I can do,” he handed you the ball and you held it in the hand you were most comfortable with as he began to help line you up correctly, “aren’t we just relationship goals?”

You laughed rather nervously and Isaac stood behind you, his back pressed against yours and you did your best to concentrate on your bowling but it was proving to be difficult.

“Just move sort of like… this,” he murmured into your ear and as he showed you the throwing movement the second time around, you released the ball and it went flying down the middle of the lane, hitting all the pins except one.

“Oh my god,” a grin came across your face as you turned around to Isaac who couldn’t quite believe it either, “oh my god!”

You flung your arms around his neck, kissing him excitedly and Isaac nearly fell backwards at the sudden action. Eagerly though, he kissed you back, enjoying the feeling and hoping that you’d do this every time you did well in the game.

“How come you don’t do that when I do well?” Scott asked Kira from their seats and she nudged him playfully.

Realising that you had to bowl once more and everyone was watching the two of you with stupid grins on their faces, you shyly pulled away and began to walk back to get another ball. Triumphantly, Isaac walked back to the group who might as well have been clapping for him and Lydia patted his arm.

“It’s about time the two of you got together. (Y/N) always talked about how much she liked you but you just ‘didn’t like her back’. I swear if you break her heart I’ll break you.” She smiled sweetly and Isaac, who had to admit was a little intimidated, smiled back as you successfully knocked down your final pin.

“Not planning on it, Lydia.”


LIAM DUNBAR

“I think I left my lacrosse jersey at your place,” you were startled by your ex-boyfriend who was now standing beside your locker, an annoyed look on his face as if it were you fault that he’d misplaced his belongings.

“You never took any of your lacrosse gear to my house.” You told him coolly, shutting your locker which you weren’t actually done looking in and attempting to walk away from him. To your annoyance, he followed.

“Well, if you see it then tell me,” he said and you rolled your eyes. The two of you had been broken up for 3 months, you were certain you would have come across it by now. “How’re you going anyway? Any new guys in your life?”

The last bit he said with an amused tone, causing you to clutch your bag just a bit tighter. You knew if you said no that he’d proceed to tell you the long list of girls that were in his life now – some of which were in his life while the two of you were dating.

“Yeah, believe it or not I actually have a boyfriend.”

You saw a group of guys up ahead being rather rowdy and spotted Liam Dunbar, the guy you were planning to find just earlier because he’d promised you his research notes from one of your classes.

“Oh, really? Do I know them?”

You knew you should’ve just made up a name of some guy that went to another school but because you just happened to be looking at Liam, you couldn’t help it.

“Liam.”

Your ex looked surprised, “Dunbar? Seriously?”

At that moment, Liam looked up, having been listening in on your conversation and he was just as confused too. You couldn’t believe you picked someone so obvious – and someone that was on the same team as your ex as well. You weren’t going to get away with this.

“Um… yeah?”

Liam sensed your embarrassment and excused himself from the group of friends he was talking to. It was well known that he hated your ex and any opportunity to annoy him was valuable.

“Hey babe!” he said cheerfully as he approached you, trying not to laugh at how red you went as he placed a kiss on your cheek, “everything alright here?”

Your ex, to your relief, stepped away, “everything’s fine, man. (Y/N), if you see the jersey let me know.”

When your ex was safely out of sight, you turned to Liam who had a smug smile on his face.

“How – why?” you stammered, not really sure how you’d just managed that.

“I hate that guy,” he said, “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone we’re not really dating. We make a cute couple anyway, even if it’s fake.”

“What? Liam, you don’t have to do this. I was just being stupid.”

He shook his head, “he’s just told about 5 people that we’re dating. It’ll be fun! We can get back at that guy all while doing our assignments. It’s a win-win situation.”

And so the fake relationship began. To your surprise, you greatly benefited from the situation. Creepy guys stopped bothering you, if you ever needed to get warm Liam was perfectly fine with you just walking into his arms while he talked with some friends and you ended up making more friends of your own. Some of the seniors he hung around became protective of you and Lydia Martin, of all people, started casually talking to you and giving you advice whenever you needed it. You often forgot that you weren’t really dating because whenever you were around Liam, your heart raced and you got butterflies as if you were actually hanging out with someone you had feelings for. It wasn’t until you sometimes saw your ex around the school who made snide and rude comments about the two of you that you remembered what was going on.

“You’re all sweaty,” you laughed as you and Mason went onto the field after one of the lacrosse games to congratulate Liam. He had a large grin on his face, pulling off his lacrosse helmet and Mason gave him a high five.

“Usually after sports people get sweaty. Weird, isn’t it?” Mason said as you gave Liam a short congratulatory hug, “poor Devenford Prep though… I should probably go and see if Brett’s alright…”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really concerned about his feelings,” Liam said sarcastically as Mason ignored him, walking over to the opposite (and losing) team.

“So, how does it feel to win against your old school?”

“Quite amazing, actually,” he paused, “he’s watching again. Doesn’t he have anything better to do?”

You shrugged, knowing exactly who Liam was talking about, “maybe we should give him a show.”

You had been joking – kind of. And Liam knew that but he couldn’t resist. He dropped his helmet, cupping your face and kissing you passionately. You no longer cared about how sweaty he was as you kissed him back, a part of you relieved that you were finally getting to do this.

You pulled away slightly, smiling like an idiot and Liam began to lean in again.

“He’s not even watching anymore,” you told him and he shook his head.

“I just really like kissing you.”

And then you kissed him again.

SCOTT MCCALL

“This is just relationship…ist,” you said angrily as you and Scott sat in the library working on an assignment together. Scott raised an eyebrow, half listening as he was actually working while you were flicking through a free Beacon Hills magazine that you could always find lying around the town in random places.

“I have no idea what you’re going on about.”

You put the magazine down in front of him so he had to actually look away from what he was doing, pointing to the ad on the page.

“Couples get a 50% discount at the Canary. Couples are the ones that can actually afford to be there, single people should be the ones getting the discount.”

Scott pushed the magazine back towards you, amused by your reaction.

“What’s so good about the restaurant, anyway?” he asked and you looked at him in disbelief.

“How – how could you ask that? The food is the best food I’ve ever eaten. It makes you want to cry rainbows it’s so good.”

He snorted, “if you let me do my work I’ll be your fake boyfriend and go with you.”

“You know the way to my heart, McCall.”

You told maybe one person that you and Scott were going for the discounted food and the word got out like Chinese whispers. Soon, everyone ignored the fact you were just going to a restaurant together and were talking about how the two of you were now dating. Both of you, even with Scott’s werewolf senses, were oblivious to the rumours and were sitting at lunch together when Stiles was the first person to sit down with the both of you.

“I can’t believe you two,” he said, you having your mouth full with your lunch but raising an eyebrow at him, “you’re dating and you didn’t even tell me.”

You nearly choked on your food.

“Where’d you hear that?” Scott asked casually, not denying the claim.

“From fucking Lindsay of all people! She wanted to know how long it’d be going on – how come everyone knew before your best friend?!”

You looked at Scott and to your surprise, he shrugged.

“We were going to keep it a secret.”

That was when the rest of the group sat down at the table.

“So it’s true then?” Lydia asked, looking between you and Scott and he took your hand, giving it a small squeeze.

“Yes, we’re dating,” and then he looked at you, “and we’re going to get a discount at the Canary. I want to cry rainbows.”

You knocked at Scott’s front door on Saturday night, ready for your fake date. The two of you had found the whole fake dating thing to be rather amusing, promising each other to keep it up until after the restaurant date and then saying that you would break up afterwards because you realised you were just ‘better off as friends’.

As Scott didn’t have a car you said you’d drop by his place after he was done practicing lacrosse with Stiles and Liam that day. Usually you didn’t mind just going on the back of his motorbike to places but tonight you actually got dressed up a little bit and you couldn’t risk having helmet hair or your makeup getting smudged.

“(Y/N)!” Melissa grinned as she opened the door, “come on in. Scott got home later than expected and he’s nearly ready. God, I’m so glad he finally got the guts to ask you out. He’s always gushing about his feelings for you and how he just doesn’t know what to do about it. He adores you, really.”

“Really, mum?” Scott said, knowing he was too late in defusing the embarrassing situation as he came walking quickly down the stairs.

“I’m your mother, it’s my job to embarrass you,” Melissa teased, “I guess that’s my cue to leave the two of you alone. Have fun – be safe!”

You only managed to yell a goodbye because Scott was pushing you out of the door, eager to get out of the situation.

“Don’t,” he warned, knowing you were ready to mention what had just happened, “you look amazing, by the way.”

“It’s not often I dress up like this so you better appreciate it. So should the discounted food, which I’m highly looking forward to.”

The Canary was filled with couples of all ages and you and Scott fit right in as plates of food were being placed in front of you.

“Are we going to be able to eat this all?” you asked.

“(Y/N), I’m a guy who also happens to be a werewolf. I could finish all of this on my own.”

He had a fair point.

The two of you were complimented several times by waiters for being such a cute couple, you both accepting these compliments graciously but with bright red faces. Ever since Melissa made the comment earlier about the two of you, you couldn’t help but wonder if she was joking because you’d always thought it was just you that liked him.

“What is it?” Scott asked, noticing your wondering expression. You gave a small shrug, feeling awfully shy which you weren’t usually like around him.

“Do you really gush about having feelings for me?”

This time, he was the shy one. Scott poked at his food, his cheeks reddening which they had been on and off throughout the night.

“I wouldn’t say I gushed about it,” he finally admitted, “but I do talk about liking you a bit.”

STILES STILINSKI

Saturday night had been a blur. The last memory you had was agreeing to do shots with Stiles and the next day you woke up safely tucked in bed (thanks to Scott) just before you launched yourself to the toilet to begin your day of being hungover. You felt like shit. And even on Monday morning as you walked into school you had a faint throbbing in your head and you were drinking more water when Stiles arrived.

“I’m never drinking alcohol again,” was the first thing you said to him, noticing he looked a similar way to you.

“Tell me about it,” he agreed, “but we say that all the time.”

You leaned against his side, waiting for the others to arrive when you got your first ‘congratulations’ from someone. Neither of you were sure what the person was congratulating you on but you thanked them anyway. Then it happened again when a girl from your English class walked past, lifting her hand to high five you.

“I heard about Saturday! It’s about time you two got together!” she said excitedly before walking into school.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” you asked, confused as to what you just witnessed as Stiles shook his head.

“I spent yesterday in the toilet. I didn’t even turn my phone on because the brightness made me sick.”

You waited a little longer and then Stiles suddenly perked up.

“Dude, there’s Theo. I saw him at the party on Saturday with that guy – I think he’s trying to get him to join his weird ass pack,” Stiles tried to tell you quietly, hoping that Theo was listening in.

“Or he could be into guys?”

“Well, you two were certainly a sight for sore eyes,” Kira suddenly said, appearing beside the two of you and making you jump. When she noticed the confused, she elaborated. “On Saturday, I mean. I didn’t know that getting the two of you together meant getting you drunk and having you confess your love to one another but man, it worked. That was gross.”

You and Stiles nearly had a heart attack. Quickly, you stepped away from one another, sharing a confused stare just as the bell went. Kira looked between the two of you but didn’t say anything, leaving you two alone as she entered the school on her own. Rather than say anything, you and Stiles went your separate ways.

During second period, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You glanced at the message from Stiles which simply read to meet him at your spot. Your teacher was reluctant to let you leave but when you did, you nearly sprinted to the spot under the third floor corridor staircase where Stiles was waiting clearly agitated. It seems you weren’t the only one having people come up to you and congratulate you on officially dating Stiles and that many people saw your proclamation of love which neither of you can remember.

“Do you remember?” you began but Stiles suddenly pulled you to him, putting a hand over your mouth. You were confused, only to hear Theo’s voice echoing the corridor and you got the idea. You tried to listen in with him but Theo stopped talking and soon you heard footsteps coming towards where the two of you were hiding.

Stiles swiftly kissed you, causing you to freeze up. You weren’t sure whether to pull away or to kiss him back, only to understand what he was doing when Theo finally stopped in front of the two of you.

“Whoa, Theo!” Stiles pulled away, “can’t a couple just have a few moments of peace?”

Theo’s eyebrows furrowed, “so the rumours are true.”

“The rumours? Didn’t you see us at the party?” Stiles wrapped his arm around you and you smiled sheepishly. Your teacher was gonna be pissed at how late you were going to be.

“Must’ve left by then.”

“With your guy friend?” you blurted out and Stiles tried to stifle a laugh. Theo decided it was best to ignore you – which it was – and began to walk back to class that he was obviously avoiding as well.

You looked at Stiles with a questioning expression but he shook his head, “we’ll talk about this later.”

You never talked about it later but you had a silent agreement to continue the fake dating. Both of you watched one too many movies and had the idea that if you did the couple getting caught making out when you were actually searching into something you shouldn’t be then it was a win-win deal. You were just too nosy.

“We’re basically detectives,” Stiles said, the two of you hidden in a corner of a club watching a group of suspected chimeras. The two of you had been awfully touchy the past few days, both of you trying to convince yourselves it was all just a charade but it wasn’t. If you were able to convince your friends that you were dating, the people you were closest to, then it wasn’t really fake.

“Do you wanna go home and watch Star Wars?” you yelled over the music and Stiles leaned his forehead against yours.

“You are perfect for me.” He said, grabbing your and leading you out of the club. Your heart was racing and even when you got to the car, Stiles continued to hold your hand on the drive back to his place.


“For our detective work, right?” you said jokingly to him when he pulled into the driveway, Stiles walking quickly around to your side of the car to open the door for you.

Stiles leaned in and kissed you, “this has never been about the detective work.”

THEO RAEKEN

“Leave me alone,” you said for the third time to a guy that hadn’t stopped trying to chat you up during the last big lacrosse game. You looked around, trying to find someone you knew to go to for help but the crowds of people all looked the same.

“Why? You got a boyfriend?”

“Why should that matter? Leave me alone.”

You tried to remember how to throw a punch – you even considered making a scene by yelling loudly for the creep to get away from you. But your rescuer stepped out of the shadows, wrapping their arm around you and you nearly punched them in the face until you saw who it was.

“This guy bothering you, babe?” Theo Raeken said sternly and the guy put his hands in the air.

“Hey! No problem here, Raeken!”

“Really?” Theo stepped towards him, “because you better not be bothering my girlfriend.”

Despite how scared you were, your heart was filling with butterflies for all the wrong reasons. You had Theo in a few of your classes and god, you found him insanely attractive. He was always sweet towards you and now you were never going to be able to thank him enough.

“I’m not! I was just leaving, I swear!”

You’d never seen someone move so quickly.

When he disappeared into the crowd, Theo turned to you and gave you the most charming smile. You knew about his powers and was fully aware that he could probably smell your lust and nervousness.

“Don’t mention it,” he winked before disappearing as well and you couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.

The next week you were sitting in the library on your own when Theo sat down beside you again, putting his arm around you. Your heart got caught in your throat as you glanced up at him, Theo seeming very comfortable and casual with the situation.

“Didn’t you hear?” he said with an amused tone, “everyone thinks we’re actually dating. I want to make sure they continue to think that so those guys will leave you alone.”

“What guys?”

“Over there. They’ve been saying some disgusting things about you and either I beat the shit out of them or they just get too freaked out to do anything in the first place,” he paused, “you’re cute when you’re nervous.”

You ignored him, “so, what? You’re fake dating me now?”

“Do you mind? I think it’d be fun.”

Theo took your answer as a yes when you blushed and look hastily away.

The next few weeks went past in a blur. It all started out as a bit of fun and eventually you were comfortable enough with Theo to get a bit into it as well. He never did anything beyond holding your hand or wrapping his arms around you but soon you were beginning to realise you wanted more – and so did Theo. He tried to convince himself that he was just doing this as a nice gesture because he’d thought you were vulnerable but he came to realise that you were stronger than even he was. You impressed him and Theo found himself lying in bed at night wishing you were there and he got excited whenever he knew you were nearby.

It was another big lacrosse game and Theo was finishing up some personal business when he saw a guy attempting to take the seat that Theo had originally be sitting in and chat you up. He clenched his teeth, storming towards you and his heart jumped when you made eye contact and you smiled at him.

“Hey babe,” Theo said, leaning down to where you were sitting, cupping your cheek and kissing you hard on the lips. You froze up but kissed him back, the guy that had been attempting to hit on you moving far away as possible.

“Get a room!” someone yelled and Theo moved away, brushing his thumb against your cheek.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Ecstatic Witchcraft

This is a post a long time in the making, as it is something I’ve wanted to share for a while now, just because it is such an important part of my own craft. There is something truly magical about it and is, for me, something both very humbling and very empowering; as such, it is something that I think is worth sharing.

Foremost, the question to address is: What is ecstatic witchcraft? And one not so easily answered, as there cannot be any one way in which it is performed. It can (I think) be described as a form of trance magic, though its expression is not wholly tied to trance in the traditional sense. In essence, it is a surrendering of self and its simultaneous expression. It is a temporary shedding of the façade one erects to survive, Freud called it the superego and without it, so too falls away the ego. The goal of ecstatic witchcraft – if it can be called a goal – is to allow the id to manifest unencumbered, a means of channeling the primality. Of course, this manifests in innumerable ways and no two sessions would ever be the same, hence why it can be so tricky to pin down precisely.

I’ve found that – and it continues still – that the witchcraft community (predominately) has long perpetuated the notion of control as being paramount to success, and while this may be true to some extent, I believe the converse must also be explored. There is law and there is rigidity, there is correspondence memorization and a lot of book work: and this makes sense! For the last century (and in times before), this has been the main means of information acquisition. While it is not uncommon for witches to join groups, covens, etc., I’m willing to bet that most practicing witches were indoctrinated through solitary study. Again, there is nothing wrong with this, and I, myself, am contributing to this reservoir of written information as I type! But, as I mentioned, while I did my fair share of book work and memorization, the heart of my Craft has always been exploration. Tradition is important, but it’s never been enough for me. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: the best way to learn is to do. There will be mistakes; you will come to conclusions only to find things that defy them; you will learn to correct; you will learn to be skeptical, but not judgmental. You will learn there are a thousand purported ‘right’ ways, and then you will find your own. Nothing is static.

How does this relate then, to ecstatic witchcraft? It is a means by which to connect to that instinct: that intuition that drives us – shedding preconceived notions and allowing the opportunity for exploration through action. And action, I feel, is the root of ecstatic magic.

How To Perform Ecstatic Witchcraft

As I mentioned previously, there is no right way and I can only provide to you a number of facets of expression that are conducive to ecstatic witchcraft. These are by no means the only facets, and as always, I encourage you to explore what works for you.

  • Speak – It may seem counterintuitive to what I have said, for is speech not a construct? It is, but there is power in vocalization, even if speaking unintelligibly. This is an extension of opaque language – or language spoken ceremonially as a means of excluding those who are not privy to the religious tongue – and moves into the realm of glossolalia. Rarely do I include verbal scripts to be read in the things I post, as I find that they detract from the working themselves, instead encouraging those performing to speak what comes. This is a more controlled form of ecstatic witchcraft – bound by intention, time, and often language itself. Here, let all that fall away and simply: Speak.
  • Move – Ecstatic witchcraft, for me, is all about energy: movement, especially. It is best not to go into it with any plan, simply follow where your body takes you. If it says run, run; if it says dance, dance; if it says squat and howl like a wolf, by gods do it! It is for this and many reasons that ecstatic magic should be done in a controlled setting, normally somewhere safe – but I should mention, this need not be done alone! Ecstatic witchcraft can just as easily be done in groups, though it can get a little more dangerous, considering the id is often noted as being the seat of sexuality and aggression. I also recommend putting sharp objects away – you never know what the hype might bring – but hey, sometimes you just really need to throw a knife; perform responsibly.
  • Draw/Write – Admittedly, some of my coolest and most profound sigils have come from ecstatic sessions! There is something in me that always wants to take chalk and just go to town on every surface around – overtaken by mania. Automatic writing is related, in some ways, though often it is used with intent: channeling a specific spirit, deity, etc. Ecstatic magic requires no such formalities, bending to the whims of all and none, the witch is then but an instrument of the spirit: of the cosmos.
  • Laugh – Laughter is powerful.
  • Instruments – If you have at your disposal some musical instruments (I prefer maracas and tambourines), bring them in! And forget what you think you know about music, just roll with it. Hell, if you want to continuously shake a maraca and scream with one foot in the air, do it. Again, it’s all about energy, and instruments bring their own, unique vibes to the table.

Entheogens – *at your own risk; use responsibly* Sure, they might compromise some of the safety, but they also bring an entirely new level of exploration. For some. My use of entheogens in the past have always been hit-or-miss; sometimes they are conducive and other times they are hampering. Know what works for you, and be careful: you don’t want to show up at the nearest E.R. naked, tripping on an unknown substance with a painted face and defiantly shaking a maraca.

Sex – This harkens back to what I said about working in groups, sometimes there is a power in it, and the same can be said for adding sex in. When working with others, always plan for the possibility of sex! Especially with who you invite in, and in regards to safety. I don’t know the last time it was used, but the “It was for ecstatic witchcraft” excuse will not hold up: while it may sound like a damper, J.I.C. consent agreements and activity do’s and don’t’s should always be agreed upon beforehand, and should always be open to amendment. If you really want to, draw a circle: anyone who leaves it is has removed themselves from the session and should not be addressed until they reenter of their own accord.


With that, I hope it is becoming clear what ecstatic witchcraft is (or can be), its benefits and how it isn’t really all that new a concept. It is, for me, a profound experience every time – I come out feeling energized, powerful, but also with a new frame of mind, having shed societal constriction and attuned with both the divine and animalistic parts of myself – if even for a moment. In that it is humbling, and it is empowering.


Photo: Maenads, John Collier 

What’s in a meme?

okay, so more on the humans are weird tag, I’m thinking of doing one of my own every day what do you think? anyway todays is, yep you guessed it: memes.
not necessarily just memes though, just jokes in general. memes were just my starting thought, but hey, let’s go from what seems like the logical start.
How weird are human jokes? Like, we have some which just don’t make sense, like i don’t know if anyone else has seen that “No, two goat is too much” post [that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else but i know what joke I’m talking about] but even if you don’t know that post i’m sure you’ve seen them around, those posts that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, but you laugh ridiculously hard at.

another type of jokes: puns. why do we find them funny??? don’t get me wrong, i love them, but why? I’ve been thinking about it for a solid two minutes and i can’t even come up with an accurate definition of puns. in times like this i often turn to google:
pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
like honestly, we just went “Hey, these two words sound similar but mean two completely different things, that’s hillarious!”k knock

Some of our jokes don’t even have answers! like what’s that about?
And what about the jokes that aren’t even jokes, like why did the chicken cross the road? imagine how confused they’d be
and what about knock knock jokes? i’d probably go something like this:
Human: hey Jeff, knock knock

Alien: Why are you knocking, isn’t knocking something done, not something verbally spoken, have i misunderstood the concept of knocking?
Human: No. no, no, not at all, it’s a joke
Alien: a… joke?

Human: yeah, I say knock knock, and then you say who’s there. after that I’ll answer and you repeat what i said but with who on the end, and then i answer that. do you get it.

Alien, I believe i understand human!Jack, you will knock i will ask who is there, you shall say your name and i shall ask you to clarify. is a joke a training exercise of some kind? a way to make sure we answer in an apropriate way?

Human: no, not really, like I won’t reply with my name, i’ll reply with something else
Alien: Ah! so we are always open to new names and outcomes, genius!

Human: Erm, no not exactly, let’s let’s just try it
Alien: Excelent, I am excited!

Human: knock knock:

Alien: Who is there?

Human: Isabelle

Alien: Isabelle who?

Human: Is the bell broken? i had to knock!

Alien: What a wonderful name, do please come in Isabelle broken i had to knock.

Human:…

Alien: What a wonderful exercise, we should do these “jokes” more often! [walks away]
Human: …

yeah, you see how it might get confusing.

alright, now it’s time to get to what I’m sure is the reason you’re here: memes.
memes make no sense, and you might think that would go under non-sensical jokes, but what more got me thinking, was how memes die. like, after a wile, a meme just dies out, everyone moves on and people don’t really think of them as funny anymore, what’s with that? like maybe they’ll think jokes are a seasonal thing just imagine:
Alien: Ah, yes i saw one of those “Forcefully removed” jokes the other day, and i brought it here to show you
Human: Oh, those aren’t funny anymore.
Alien: Oh, is this one not up to par?

Human: no, not that, just all of them

Alien: but it was before?

Human: Yeah, those were the shit a few months ago

Alien: Then why stop? is it seasonal? do jokes have a cycle? Is it because it’ aimed at different age groups?
Human: no, none of that, it just is.

Alien: …

anyway, not very well explained, but you get my point.

now Imagine a crew that’s pretty used to the humans, they can differentiate between jokes and serious, a few of them get the jokes even, they enjoy the jokes. then imagine one of the crew members likes dark humour, maybe they start telling anti jokes

Human: hey, wanna hear a joke?

Alien: Ooh, yes!

Human: A man walks into a bar

Alien: ooh, i love these ones

Human: His alcoholism is ruining his life and his family is falling apart.

Alien: wait what

as i said, human humour is weird. tomorrow, I’ll get into fashion.

how to get into skincare

I’ve already done a post about how to get into makeup, and one about how to get into SFX, so I figured I might as well make one for skincare. I have extremely sensitive, extremely acne-prone skin, so when it comes to skincare products, I’ve literally tried everything. It’s gotten to the point where I’m the “resident expert” that all of my family and friends come to when they need help figuring out which products to use.

I think a lot of people don’t take proper care of their skin because they have the misconception that it’s time-consuming and/or expensive. Honestly, I spend less than two minutes on skincare on most days, and I only use affordable products that are available at drug stores. No matter who you are, you can afford to take good care of your skin.


product names you’re likely to see, and what they mean:

  • cleanser is just soap that’s gentle enough for the delicate skin on your face. It comes in liquid, cream, and even powder formulas, but all you need to know is that if the label says “cleanser,” then it’s just face wash. If you’re only going to use one skincare product, this is the one you should invest in.
  • Note: You should NEVER use bar soap on your face! The skin on your face is thinner and more delicate than the skin on the rest of your body, and most bar soaps will damage it. There are some cleansers that come in bar form, but as a general rule you should never use a product on your face that wasn’t made specifically to be used on faces. 
  • moisturizer is probably the second most commonly-used product, after cleanser. This is exactly what it sounds like – it’s basically lotion that is specially made to be used on your face. No matter what your skin type is, you should be moisturizing daily. (Proper moisturization actually helps cut down on oily skin in most cases.) 
  • toner (sometimes also called astringent) is a product that is usually applied after cleanser, but before moisturizer. It’s called “toner” because it tones your skin, as well as cleansing any dirt or grime that your cleanser missed. Not everyone needs to use toner, but if you have oily or acne-prone skin, I’d recommend it.
  • a face mask is any product that is made to be used occasionally to give your skin a little extra love. A lot of them are made to address certain issues, like acne, dryness, or dullness. Usually, you apply it and let it sit on your face for a few minutes before you wash it off. I personally try to use a mask on my face once or twice a week whenever I have the time, but they’re more of a treat than a necessity. (And you probably shouldn’t use them every day.) 
  • exfoliators or exfoliating scrubs are products designed to buff away dead skin cells. Usually, they have some kind of gritty texture to them (like sugar grains) that scrubs off the dead skin. Like face masks, they’re more of a treat than a necessity, but unlike with face masks, too much exfoliating can actually hurt your skin. You should never exfoliate more than 2-3 times a week, and never, ever exfoliate two days in a row.
  • pore strips are kind of like waxing strips for your face, but instead of removing hair, they remove blackheads and other junk clogging your pores. I would not recommend pore strips to someone who is new to skincare, and like with exfoliators, using them too often can really damage your skin. If you’re going to use them, you should never use them more than once every three days. 

There are other product names that you might see floating around online (like “essence” or “facial oil”), but these are the basic products that you need to know about. Honestly, if you have a good cleanser, toner, and moisturizer (plus maybe a face mask or two for occasional pampering), then you don’t really need any other products, because those three will get the job done. 


how to build your own skincare routine:

  1. The first step is to understand your skin type. The three most common types are: dry, oily, and combination (in between dry and oily). Shop for products that are designed and labelled for your skin type. (If you have a lot of acne, look for products labelled “acne care” or something along those lines. If you have a lot of skin allergies, or if your skin doesn’t react well to harsh chemicals, look for products made for sensitive skin.)
  2. Go to the nearest Walmart, CVS, Walgreen’s, ect. with $20, and find the skincare aisle. Keeping your skin type in mind, look for a good cleanser and a good moisturizer. (If you have oily or acne-prone skin, you might want to pick up a toner as well.) If you can, look for generic brands (I know Walmart carries one called Equate) that make products with the same ingredients as name-brand products, but significantly cheaper. (If you’re looking for cruelty-free products, check out the brands Burt’s Bees and Yes To.)
  3. If you want to make things easier, you can buy all of the products you need in a pack. (Like this, or this.) These usually contain a cleanser, a toner, and a moisturizer. 
  4. Every morning when you first wake up, wash your face with the cleanser and pat it dry with a clean towel. Then apply the toner, if you bought one – you do not wash this off. Then (after waiting a few seconds for the toner to take effect), apply your moisturizer. That’s literally all there is to it. If you’re a morning shower person, you can save time by washing your face in the shower, then applying toner and moisturizer after you get out.
  5. Every night before you go to bed, do the same thing. (Of course, if you wear makeup, you’ll have to remove it, either with makeup remover or with warm water, before you wash your face.) 
  6. Right before bed is a good time to use face masks/exfoliators/pore strips, if you want. I always wash my face first, then skip over my toner and go straight into applying the mask/exfoliator/strip, and let it sit for as long as the directions on the packaging indicate. After I wash it off, I use my moisturizer like always.
  7. Congratulations! You now have a skincare routine!


This post goes into detail of all the products and tricks I use in my own personal routine, if you’re curious. 

I hope this post was helpful! If you have any questions about specific products, or about treating specific skin conditions, feel free to message me and I’ll try to help in any way I can. 

masterlist (there’s more beauty/skincare tips on there, if you’re interested)

Shinee as the Mafia + How He Met You

||| Anon asked: Can I request something for shinee like the Monsta x reaction: they’d win the mafia+how they met you? Please and thank you! |||


Onew/Lee Jinki

Originally posted by dayumonew

  • Was actually working in the gang till he killed the previous leader declaring himself the boss.
  • A lot of people didn’t support him so he had to deal with them himself.
  • Even nowadays he tends to kill the ones that look even a little bit suspicious.
  • Because of that (and fear) he gained everybody’s respect.
  • Likes planing and going on the missions himself, much to his men displeasure as the gang would surely fall without him.
  • Is really good with all types of weapons but prefers not to make a mess.

He was going to kill you after you talked back to him but found your courage amusing. 

“Where did you come from? Don’t you know the rules in this gang?”

“I follow no rules.”

“Is that so?” he asked standing up from his desk and pressing his gun to your forehead.

“Are you trying to scare me? Because it’s not working.”

He fired a shot into the wall near your head. You just closed your eyes and exhaled deeply.

“How about now? Still nothing, huh? How interesting! I’m going to enjoy your company.”


Key/Kim Kibum

Originally posted by celes-tae

  • Only the most trusted members have seen his face as he works as a spy for the group.
  • He doesn’t actually hide but likes to remain in the shadows.
  • Works quickly, silently and without a trace.
  • Can infiltrate any building in 5 min or less.
  • If paid enough would also assassinate anybody, doesn’t matter who - men, women children.

 You were working as a guard for a government building he infiltrated. According to his resources you were not supposed to be there, so he when he landed through the vent on the floor he was surprised to see you there just you were. He quickly grabbed your arm before you could take your gun out and slammed you against the wall.

“Now you’re going to listen to me and not make a single sound or I would have to kill you, that would be unfortunate though seeing how pretty you are, so do you understand?” he asked and you nodded quickly.

“Great.” he smiled. “Considering you work here you must have all the key cards to access guarded areas, right?” he searched your body.

“Everything is accessed by identifying the fingerprints.” you told him.

“Really now? Then I guess we are going to spend some more quality time together.”


Kim Jonghyun

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

  • Unwillingly works as an assassin for the gang.
  • That’s because he would rather make the people disappear than kill them but as he’s the best shot in the whole gang the leader often asks him to care of business.
  • Talking about disappearing he’s the one you should come to. 
  • The people he dealt with would either end up in prison, be sold on the black market or end up in unknown, deserted places in less than 24 hours.
  • Tends to put on a serious face while on the job but is actually horrible at controlling his emotions which gets him in trouble most of the time.

He met you by accident when he was disposing of a body in a forest you were jogging. You just froze in your tracks out of fear and disbelief.

“Who the fuck goes jogging in these types of forests at this hour?” he thought. Seeing as you were just standing there and not running away he wondered what to do with you. He didn’t want to kill you and he was not afraid if you reported him to the police as most them were bribed. So he just took the body and dumped it in the hole, hoping you will take off. He didn’t expect to see you armed with a stick when he looked up. He just barely avoided your hit.

“Whoa, missy. Calm down.” but you were already swinging the stick in all directions. Annoyed he tried to pull it out of your hand which made you lose your balance and for him to fall on top of you.

“Well this is rather unfortunate for you.” he smirked but when he saw how sacred you were he just got back on his feet, picked you up and threw you into the backseat of his car.

“Maybe Minho will give me some advice on what to do with you.”


Choi Minho

Originally posted by itsonewday

  • Right hand of the boss and sometimes even more reliable than him as he their leader tends to be reckless.
  • Doesn’t take shit from anyone.
  • Has a really short temper if you get him angry. 
  • Even though that happens rarely he just whips out his gun and kills whoever annoyed him on the spot.
  • Takes care of the gangs documents, finances, resources and such.
  • Likes to plan everything carefully before taking action.

You had nothing to do with the mafia as he often met you in the park, where he came to relax from the stress and tension in work. You would always sit at the same bench at the same time reading (he later calculated everything, so he would be able to see you whenever he came to the park). You could often feel his stare and whenever you looked up he would quickly avert his eyes. After a few weeks of staring you decided to talk to him changing your position every single day to get close to him. When one day you came and he was not there you were quite disappointed. Suddenly strong hands grabbed you and made you sit on the bench. His face was inches from yours and he looked angry.

“Are you trying to seduce me or something to get some info? What’s the deal with you?”

“I, I-” you started.

“You what?” he shouted.

“I just wanted to talk to you that’s all.” you said trembling. Only now did he realized how stupid and suspicious of everything he his.

“Oh fuck, you don’t know anything about me, do you? I’m sorry for scaring you. Could I treat you to coffee or something as an excuse?”


Lee Taemin

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

  • His job is to gather information. 
  • As much as he enjoys torturing it out of someone he would often use other means to get it.
  • Is actually a really good thief and manages to snatch the things he needs without trouble.
  • He also learned from Kibum to sneak in and out without being noticed but that doesn’t always work as he needs more practice.
  • Dances his way out of trouble when the need arises
  • Likes small weapons like scalpels and such because they let him inflict more direct and precise pain.

He was about to steal your purse (just for fun) when you unexpectedly turned around and saw what he was going. You gave him a big slap and ran away asking for help. Not wanting to draw any attention to himself he quickly caught up with you and pushed you into an alley. He slammed his hand on the wall near your face, securing you in place.

“Look lady, I didn’t actually want your bag. You were even not supposed to see me but now that you know how I look, it might get dangerous.”

“Please, take whatever you want, just don’t kill me.”

“Whatever I want, huh? Then I guess I will take you.” he said knocking you out and throwing you over his shoulder before you could protest.


A/N: Woah this got longer then expected!! I laughed a lot at my own jokes while writing this, their are not even that funny, their are not even a lot of them here, I think I need more sleep 😂 Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc, I keep up with a lot of groups both male and female!! 😃

EXO Reactions to you thigh riding them

That’s funny, I already planed a thigh riding MTL for BTS 😁

I hope you like it 😘

Xiumin

He’s going to love it. It turns him on just to watch you go crazy on his thighs.

“This is so fucking hot, Babe”

Luhan

He likes it when you play the dominant part and just take and do what you want.

“Work it, my crazy lil’ princess”

Kris

He loves watching you but is a little impasient and can’t wait to fuck you.

“You gotta grind my dick just like that, Babe”

Suho

He’s getting a little wierd and thinks that it’s kinda crazy. But he’ll let you do your thing.

“Why are you into that kinda stuff? Can’t we just have sex?”

Originally posted by lawlliets

Lay

He goes crazy just by watching you. He loves the way you grind on his thighs and just let yourself go.

“Yeah work those fucking hips, Babe”

Baekhyun

He’s definetly into it. He loves watching you, but also had to hold back. He couldn’t stop moving his own hips.

“Can you do this all day, please?”

Originally posted by tipannies

Chen

He likes it so much and just wants to grind on you too before he fucks you hard.

“Can I grind on you too, Babe?”

Chanyeol

He enjoys the show and after you reached your climax he would say…

“I really liked that. We should do that more often.”

Kyungsoo

*gif*

Tao

That kinky little shit likes everything thats a little extra. He’s really into it and couldn’t stop staring at you and your body.

“Keep on doing this, Babe”

Kai

As soon as he realizes what your up to he would take of his shirt, be all hectic and say…

“Stop grinding and start fucking me!”

Sehun

As you started grinding his thigh he just realized that this was his biggest weakness and turn on.

“Don’t ever stop doing this.”

tealey  asked:

hey love u probably have already gotten this request but if and when u get time could u write the apartment neighbor au for bts hyung line?? thanks a billion!! i love u and ur work so so much! 🌷💗

i got a couple requests for it, so here it is the hyung line x neighbor au!!
find the maknae line (here)

Namjoon 

  • lives like a recently graduated student,,,,,meaning he has barely any actual furniture in his house aside from bookshelves, a bed, and a desk
  • but namjoon likes the minimalist vibe,,,like he doesn’t need much just his essentials at his desk, maybe a couple signed photographs he’s hung up near his computer and dried flowers near the window
  • more than anything he likes having a lot of space to move around because he likes to walk in circles when he thinks and he doesn’t like it if he ends up like slipping on something or walking into a table 
  • plus the more furniture there is,,,,,,the more a safety hazard he is 
  • but one distinct thing about namjoon is i think he’d have a really good smelling apartment,,,,,,like he’d light candles because no matter what anyone says he’s a soft romantic at heart. like it’s deep down, but he is
  • has a habit of brushing his teeth at the morning sink and not in the bathroom because he falls asleep at his desk and not actually in his bed LOL
  • he’s the buildings library. if someone mentions that they’ve been meaning to buy a book namjoon probably already has it and will lend it to them,,,,,,,,,,,but he’s like “please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,bring it back”. he’s emotionally connected to his books
  • and everyone is like “he looks so smart and so,,,,,upright and stoic” when in reality namjoon is a clumsy guy who tries to hold steaming hot coffee, a philosophy anthology, a notebook, and some bread all at once and you can imagine how that ends (very. badly)
  • and in reality he wishes more of the neighbors would see him as a down-to-earth kind of guy,,,,but then like he’ll tower over them and have this apathetic look on his face and they’re like “oh,,,,,oh my ,,,,,” and he only realized later when he’s alone that “i should,,,,,,smile more shouldn’t i”
  • but you’ve never been put off by him, if anything you’ve always really admired how Intellectual he seems and when you talk to him you always feel like you learn so much
  • and you’re always like “namjoon, tell me a cool fact!!” and he’s like “well did you know aristotle thought he could tell if a goat was female or male depending on which way the wind was blowing” and you’re looking at him like ,,,,,,,,,,,,amazing and he’s just like sORRy,,,,,it’s not cool right but you’re like no omg every time you manage to surprise me it’s fantastic
  • and you and him get along,,,,namjoon is really grateful for you because you’re always telling the neighbors that he’s fun even if they think he’s kind of stuffy
  • and so you would consider yourself friends by most standards,,,,but how close well you’re not sure
  • but what you do know is one night you’re walking back home from a hangout with some friends and you’re alone and it’s dark and you can hear footsteps behind you and you look back and there’s,,,,,,some dude???? who you’ve never seen before
  • and he speeds up and passes by you with a smile and you’re like huh. weird
  • but then,,,,,,the next day you see him again. and this goes on for a couple of weeks and all your friends are like ‘dude you have a stalker you need to tell someone’ and you’re like not sure because he’s never,,,,,,like he’s never spoken or touched you
  • but it scares you ofc and you decide that you shouldn’t go out alone at night,,,,,,but it so happens that you’ve run out of toothpaste and you’re like grumbling about having to go down and walk the alley to the nearest convenience store
  • but you remember your stalker and you get kind of panicked,,,,,so you decide to see if namjoon can help
  • and when you tell him he’s like “of course ill go with you,,,,,,but,,,,,,im not intimidating at all” and you’re like “namjoon,,,,,i think you’re a sweet person but you’re like hitting six feet and have a jawline that could cut someone. i think,,,,,,,you’ll be really helpful” and namjoon kinda tilts his head and he’s like “some people have told me i give off a scary vibe”
  • and you’re like no no not scary,,,,,but im pretty sure people don’t want to mess with you and it’d just make me feel safe to have you there
  • and namjoon gets up and gets his keys and he’s like let’s go
  • and it’s chilly in the night air, but you and namjoon are talking about how your week has been when suddenly from the corner of your eye you see that freaky dude and you instinctively step closer to namjoon who reads the panic on your face
  • and he leans down and is like “is he here?” and you’re like “yeah,,,he’s over there by that building” and namjoon flicks his gaze over to see the guy staring you two down
  • and namjoon doesn’t like the way his eyes are glued to your figure even from far away and so namjoon decides he should do something before that creep gets any ideas
  • so he flings his arm around your shoulder, pulling a surprised you into his side and speaking a bit louder he goes “you came out without a jacket, yah as a good BOYFRIEND i should keep you close so you’ll be warm!”
  • and you look up at the word boyfriend, but namjoon is still glaring over at the stalker who instantly tenses at the word boyfriend and namjoons narrowed, pissed off gaze
  • and before you know it the guys turned the corner of the building and disappeared and namjoon safely gets you to and from the store
  •  and the whole elevator ride up he’s like “that guy is really weird, you should tell the police” but you’re like,,,,,,,,thinking about the warmth of namjoon’s broad chest,,,,,,and how,,,,,your heart almost melted when he called himself your boyfriend
  • and namjoon has to wave his hand in your face for a bit to get your attention and when you snap out of it he gives a soft laugh and he’s like “i was worried you went into shock.” and you’re like “ah,,,,,”
  • and he’s like “i really should accompany you more often, that guy was looking at you like some kind of animal i don’t want to let you go anywhere al-” and you’re like “i want that too, i want you to,,,,,” and you kind of clam up and namjoon is like hmm and you’re like under your breath you’re like “like,,,,,a boyfriend,,,,my actual boy,,,friend,,,,”
  • and you think he can’t hear you, but he does and his ears go pink and he’s like “ah- i ,,,,,i,,,,,,,,,,i can do that,,,,,” and you’re like wait really
  • and namjoon is like “this is going to sound really corny, but i didn’t want to let you go after pulling you into my arms. i guess you only feel that way with people you like?” and he smiles
  • that rare, beautiful smile and you like reach out and lightly take his hand and he feels your fingers lock and he’s like ,,,,,,,,,, and you’re like ,,,,,,,
  • but it’s cute you’re just standing there holding hands like two kids in love
  • also that stalker doesn’t even dare come around anymore. he accidentally ran into namjoon alone at the bus stop and namjoon ever so casually was like “you get near my s/o again and you won’t see the light of day. cough cough”

Yoongi

  • specifically asked for the basement apartment so he wouldn’t have any noisy neighbors and more than anything he likes having his apartment dimly lit. bright lights aren’t his things 
  • didn’t bother buying a tv, splurged on having a second monitor and good soundboard for when he makes music
  • spends a lot of his time sitting in his desk chair with his feet like pulled to his chest, chewing on the end of his pen and just thinking
  • unfinished cold coffee in really old mugs litter his kitchen, along with flyers for fast-food that he never throws out
  • has a pet cat named ‘clef’ after the sheet music symbol and who is slightly overweight and spends fifty percent of his time sitting on yoongi’s keyboard when yoongi is trying to work
  • sometimes he makes his bedroom into a dark room where he can make prints of the photographs he’s taken that he then hangs up on the walls,,,,but like two weeks later he gets sick of them and takes them down to replace with new ones
  • lives in comfy hoodies and basketball shorts and jimin comes over and is like “hyung, there’s no windows since we’re all the way down here - but you should go out and get some light!!! right clef?” and yoongi and his cat are both like,,,,,it’s ok. we’ll sit here in the dark we like it
  • clef likes to bury his cat toys in yoongi’s bed so when yoongi does sleep like in his actual bed he always finds some kind of stuffed mouse or a bundle of feathers under his pillow and he’s like “clef,,,,,,,,again?”
  • you’ve been bestfriends with yoongi for as long as you can remember and you’re not really his “neighbor” because you live like 5 floors above him but you hangout at his place whenever
  • and you also run errands for him because you know how busy he works so if clef needs cat food or yoongi needs human food you’re there for him if like jin or jimin can’t do it
  • when you do stop by most of the time you lay on the couch with clef purring on your stomach as you read a book and yoongi works on his music. stopping every now and then to play something for you and ask how it sounds,,,,,like you’re not high maintenance friends who need to blab about anything. you two are content in each others silent presence
  • but this is not the same,,,,,,for yoongi’s other friends. like jin gets his whole Leave me In Peace thing going on but jimin and taehyung and hoseok are all like “yoongi,,,,,,let’s get you a social life”
  • and yoongi is like “pass” but these three,,,,,,you can’t like,,,,,you can’t stop them
  • and so when yoongi calls you with a please save me you end up sitting in his living room squished between jimin and hoseok and yoongi is like “for hells sake i don’t want to go on a date with someone I DONT EVEN KNOW”
  • and taehyung is like “here hyung, borrow my tie it might be too big tho,,,” and yoongi is like “im not going. blind dates never work out”
  • and you’re like “guys, let him not go.” and they’re like “NO he needs to see the sun. talk to people. clef is not your significant other yoongi, that person is out there! waiting ! for ! you!” 
  • and yoongi grunts and falls back into his desk chair like “clef is fine. he understands me”
  • but as usual, three against one never works out great and somehow you end up watching yoongi walk down the street, pulling at his collar and grumbling as his friends shout that he’ll have tonight, they promise
  • and when yoongi looks back. dressed for the first time in actual dress pants and a dress shirt, hair slicked back you’re like,,,,,,,,holy shit my bestfriend is hot
  • but all he says is “take care of clef. ill be back soon”
  • and you sit in his apartment, clef nuzzling against your face as you think about all the time you’ve spent with yoongi, how well you know him, how well you guys get along without that much communication and you pick up clef and you’re like “meow if you think i like yoongi” and clef is like “meow” and you’re like “meow again if he likes me,,,,,,” and clef just sticks his tongue out and you’re like gfhbklsjfds but two minutes later you hear the gentle “meow” and you’re like,,,,,,,sighs,,,,,i should have told him when i had the chance
  • and yoongi gets home pretty late, like midnight and when you open the door he’s like “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it was horrible”
  • and immediately like leans forward into your arms and you’re like !?!??! because he’s never been big on skinship and you’re like “yoongi?”
  • and he steps inside, pushing you gently backwards as he buries his head into your neck and he’s like “,,,,,,,peoplemfsoannoyingmf”
  • and you’re like “i can’t hear you???” and he let’s go, looking into your eyes and he’s like “people are so annoying.” and you kind of awkwardly chuckle like “yes i thought you knew this”
  • and he’s still looking at you, more intense than ever before and you’re like ????? and he’s like “not you though. you’re never,,,,,,,annoying. i want you around all the time.”
  • and you blink a bit, feeling your face heat up because like WHAT is he saying but yoongi just keeps looking, letting his fingers trail lightly down your cheek before he buries his face in your neck once again
  • and you’re like “yoongi,,,,,what does this mean?” and he whispers, letting his lips press to the skin of your collarbone and he’s like
  • “it means that i don’t need blind dates. i don’t need to find someone for me, i already,,,,,,,,,,i already have you,,,,,,,”

Jin 

  • home is where the heart is,,,,,,,,and the heart is most pleased by food so guess who has a mario themed rice cooker and pan set ? THIS BOY (jin. i mean jin) 
  • but yes of course he’s the grandmaster chef who all of bangtan adores to and goes running to when they all remember they could probably set their own apartments on fire if they as much as tried to boil water
  • but like,,,,,,jin doesn’t only keep bangtan Fed,,,,,,he’s always like @ his neighbors like “i baked some cookies. i made some chicken. i actually bought too much lettuce once so i decided to hell with it and made a 5 course meal for 16 people you want to come over and have dinner with me?”
  • an actual angel is what im trying to get at here
  • but also an actual DORK his bedroom is just a bed full of mario plushies and he spends half of his days off laying upside down off his bed playing games on his phone like an actual child
  • like the most grown up thing about him is yes he can cook and actually has a first-aid kit and learned how to fix his fire alarm
  • but everything else is just,,,,,,,,,,him being as cozy as possible under his mario blanket in his mario pajamas playing a mario game on his old as hell gameboy that he begged the guy at the gamestop to fix for an obscene amount of money
  • like i don’t think jin goes out of his way to try and decorate his place or cater to an aesthetic, like his kitchen is stocked full of supplies and food and he has a stainless steal oven
  • but other than that it’s just,,,,,,,,,mario toys and a big sofa for him to enjoy said games and food on
  • he hates crumbs though. like taehyung came over and used his computer and the crumbs that go inbetween the keyboard literally made jin want to strangle him
  • oh how could i forgot: pink bath curtains 
  • and you don’t know him all that well, just that he’s unbelievably gorgeous and sweet and has a really loud laugh that you heard from an open window once and that you swore was the cutest thing in the world like how could someone laugh like that??? what purity
  • anyway you wish you could be his friend,,,he seems so positive and happy but you’re like ,,,,,,,,, he isn’t interested
  • until you get a knock on your door and it’s ???? jin and he’s like “heY do you know anything about acting?” and you’re like “i watch dramas?” and he’s like “good enough, i need some help”
  • and you let him in and you’re a bit confused but jin just sits on your carpet and hands you what looks like a script and he’s like i just graduated with an acting major and got a minor role for a friends performance,,,,,,,do you think you could read through the lines with me
  • and in your head you’re like,,,,,,,why ask me of all people
  • and jin like he basically can read your mind is like “i was going to ask namjoon to help me, but he couldn’t stop stuttering over the first three lines and i almost died,,,,,,sorry if this is random!!”
  • and you’re like no no it’s fine and so you look down at the script and your eyes nearly fall out because the first stage cue is literally ‘get on top of him’
  • and jin opens his arms and is like ‘come here so we can get in position’ and you’re like EXCUSE ME but you’re also like,,,,,,,he needs help he just graduated lsadfgjlefkt
  • so you like scoot a bit closer to him and jin is like “i know this is horribly awkward, but im gonna lay down and you can just like,,,,,pretend you’re doing a push up over me”
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,what in gods name,,,,,,,,,,,,but he’s so handsome and nice and you’re like let me try to do this and not DIE
  • but when you like put your hand on either side of his head and like try to keep yourself up you look down and there,,,,,is jin’s beautiful face and he’s like “this is a good workout”
  • and you can’t like you can’t help but burst into laughter and your arms go weak and you manage to like not fall onto him but like roll off onto the side and jin is like “pleASE,,,,i need to get through these lines” and you’re like “i can’t im sorry” and he’s like ;;;;;;; it’s ok i understand how this is like,,,,,,,,,,so weird
  • and you’re like “how about i just read through them with you”
  • and jin says that he’s thankful you haven’t kicked him out of your apartment yet for asking for something so crazy,,,,but you’re just blushing and trying to laugh it off 
  • and you get through the script but jin stops before a kiss scene and is like “thank you i think you really helped”
  • and you’re like “,,,,,,,i hope the performance goes well” and jin gives you his gummy smile that makes your heart skip a beat and he’s like “i do too”
  • but before he leaves he’s like “im sorry again,,,,,about the whole do a push up above me thing,,,,” and you’re like ,,,,,,,,, covering your face because you two were so close but it was so,,,,,,,so ,,,,,, funny
  • and he’s like “it’s gonna be hard not to think of you when i do that on stage though,,,,,,” and you’re like huh and he’s like “you looked so cute trying to hard, i really am sorry”
  • and your face heats up again because ok you were embarrassed before from the Situation and now he’s just being really Cheesy but like you’re loving every moment of it
  • and jin catches himself and is like “you probably think im weird, ill go” but you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,no it wasn’t bad it was fun”
  • and jin perks up and he’s like “does that mean i can come and ask for your help again??” and you’re like “s-s-ure,,,,” and jin is like !!!!!!! “thank you so much ill be sure to bring some food as a gift next time too, see you then!”
  • and you close the door and have to like steady your breathing and you’re like he’s so cute whilst jin is just like,,,,,,,,standing in front of his apartment with his head pressed against the door and he’s like ‘i made a fool out of myself,,,,,,,,,but i think they like me??’

Hoseok

  • best neighbor award??? it is he 
  • the person who carries your sick grandma up the stairs, the person who entertains your kids if you have to run and check if you didn’t double park, the person who tells creeps to piss off if they start whistling at high school girls, and the person who you find telling others that he’s really grateful for being alive on this day
  • just like,,,,,he’s such a positive force it’s amazing
  • dances while brushing his teeth, dances while making eggs, dances while checking the weather, dances while locking up his door
  • you can usually find him with headphones in his ears and he rides his bike just about everywhere,,,,,,,and like
  • when it’s summer the tanktops come out and it’s a Blessing upon as all
  • he is the type to own like an inflatable pool that he drags out into courtyard when it’s super hot and at first it’s just for him but then all the kids come out and their parents and of course peoples dogs
  • and he probably just started a block party without even trying
  • likes to keep his place pretty clean, but he really likes the color red. like i see him having a lot of it in his home because it’s so loud and kinda sexy,,,,,,,,,,,,like him what no i didn’t say that
  • always has fresh fruits on his kitchen table because he’s conscious of what he eats as he’s an athletic person
  • and if like taehyung or jungkook spends the night he’s like “Eat breakfast. It is so important. The most important.”
  • drys his laundry by himself on his balcony but once he noticed his jeans went missing and he was like ????? there’s a thief in my house i need to find him
  • turns out they just fell down onto the floor below,,,,,,and he Overreacted LOL
  • cannot kill bugs. has to call over jin 
  • and hoseok is always helping people you know it’s in his nature like when he sees you one afternoon struggling with your groceries, he bikes over and is like “give me your bags!!” and piles them onto his handlebars and he’s like “hop on, ill give you a ride”
  • and at first you’re like hdglfvsd um how????? and he’s like “stand on the back of my bike” and you’re like “i think that’s too muc-”
  • but hoseok is shaking his head like “no no no i can handle it, come on”
  • and you try to balance yourself and he’s like “put your hands on my shoulders!!” and when you do you’re like oh,,,they’re big,,,,,
  • and he’s like “ok let’s go!”
  • and he manages to go really fast even with you and all your groceries 
  • and once you get to your building you get off and hoseok laughs a little and you’re like ?????
  • and he leans over and is like “the wind got to your hair!!!! let me fix it-”
  • and he gets so close that you can smell this kind of ,,,,,, slight cologne off of him and you’re like shouldn’t he be sweaty????? but he’s like fine 
  • and his fingers gently brush your hair back into place
  • and he’s like “we live across from each other, so let me carry your bags all the way!” and you’re like “hoseok, no you have to carry your bike let me-”
  • but he’s insistent and so are you
  • and you’re bickering back and forth over whose going to get a hand on the bags
  • and some old ladies pass by like “oh, young love always playfully getting on each others nerves”
  • and hoseok and you both stop like,,,,young,,,,,,,,,,,,,,love
  • but you’re just like UM,,,,,give me the bags
  • and hoseok is like “ill carry them. if you try to grab them, ill-”
  • and he pauses and you’re like ?????? you’ll what
  • and he’s like “i’ll,,,,,,,,,,,,,i’ll kiss you that’s what!”
  • and you’re like PFFT what are we in the 3rd grade and you reach over to get the bag, but hoseok is the faster person here and he puts his hand behind his back and tilts his face just in time to press his lips to your cheek
  • and when he pulls back you’re both wide eyed because oh my god ,,,,,he did it,,,,,,,,
  • and hoseok is screaming in his head like: OH MY GOD I DID IT
  • and you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i,,,,,”
  • and he’s like “im so-”
  • but then you move forward and grab the bags from his startled hands and you’re like “got them!” and he’s like dhgkszds you,,,,,,,,,
  • and you’re like “well - aren’t you going to kiss me for real REAL this time??”
  • and hoseok is like “wELL Do YOU WANT ME TO?”
  • and you’re like “YOU SAID YOU WOULD”
  • like actual children you two
  • but hoseok finally is like ok. since you asked
  • and you feel his lips against yours,,,,,,,so suddenly that you almost lose a grip of yourself and fall backwards
  • and when he pulls away he grabs the bags back from your hands and he’s like “AHA”
  • and you’re like touching your lips and you’re like,,,,,,,,,
  • it’s silent for a bit but you’re like
  • “hoseok,,,,,,,,,” and he’s like “yes?” and you’re like “i have a feeling we’re gonna kiss again” and he’s like “don’t bother stealing the bags im really carrying them the whole way up-”
  • but you just shake your head and you’re like “no,,,,i mean we’ll kiss again after we get upstairs”
  • and hoseok gets a little red in the face, but boy the whole elevator ride up he’s practically jogging in place
  • because the minute you open the door the bags are forgotten in the hall and hoseok is like “really? do you want to do this?”
  • and his body is against yours, as you’re moving slowly toward your sofa and you’re like “yes, seriously just kiss me again!!!” 
student! taehyung smut

Originally posted by taehanstic-baby

word count: too bad to even bother knowing 

tags: fingering, exhibitionism(?), public stimulation, bathroom sex


maths class bored you to tears. your teacher droned on continuously. it was like being stuck in a horrible weekly loop of monotonous voices.

but today’s class had peaked your interest as a new kid had joined the class.

Keep reading

Coffee’s For Cuties

Summary: Coffee shop AU. It’s your first day on the job and your very demanding boss sends you to pick up coffee. With a ridiculously complicated order, you’re sure to annoy the barista, but what if he’s more understanding than you expect? 

Word Count: 1,168

Warnings: none? 

A/N: Please forgive me if this isn’t up to my usual standards. I’ve been really sick for the past few weeks and we’re still trying to figure out exactly what’s wrong with me. I currently can’t keep any food down so I’m having trouble focusing because my energy levels are pretty low, but I really wanted to do something productive, so this happened. Anyway, here’s some cute, fluffy Bucky to (hopefully) brighten your day. 


Originally posted by calif0rnia-lovers


You trudged through the New York streets, yawning as you desperately tried to wake yourself up. Today was your first day at a new job, and you hadn’t been able to sleep the night before. Your mind was buzzing in a mixture of anxiety, excitement, and anticipation, the combination of which had caused sleep to evade you. This was your dream job, and you still weren’t quite sure how you had managed to get it, but you weren’t going to question it. You just hoped that you could make it through your first day without any major problems. 

Keep reading

Spirit Working Cycles

[Disclaimer: This is my personal upg of your body’s natural cycle. Some people have reported either not having a hyperactivity period or having them so subdued that it isn’t an issue, so just use my post as a guideline for discovering your own needs. And natural fallow periods aren’t the cause for every downtime out there, some will be caused by blocks such as past trauma, energetic blockages, spirit influence, sickness and more. Some of those do require some sort of intervention and are good to get rid of!]

One of the biggest things I’ve seen you guys distressed over are the times where you are not working with your spirits! You’re not communicating (if you can communicate at all during this time), you aren’t really aware of their presence, you go ages without wearing their vessels, you just don’t have the strength to keep up with the work you want to do!

And then you grow frantic and anxious over what the spirits are thinking about you. You’re afraid of them hating you and leaving for how long you’ve been ignoring them. Or maybe they could be depressed by your sudden lack of interest, like you’re their best friend who suddenly cut contact and is ignoring their texts and calls. You may be worried about all this during your period of inactivity and can’t fix things despite being aware of them. Maybe the stress is even making it worse than before and now you can’t feel them no matter how hard you try!

So when you start to get in a better spirit working state, you’re afraid of speaking to them now, afraid of what they’ll say and if they hate you and if they’ll ever accept you back as a friend…

Guys, this is totally normal. This is a natural body cycle (well, psychic body cycle!) just like menstruation! I haven’t heard nearly as many people talking about it as I would expect, so let me break down your spiritual fallow periods!

(yes, it’s a lazily drawn graph)

The graph is divided into three horizontal sections: Hyperactivity, Normal State, and Fallow Period. The colored vertical sections are parts I want to pay particular attention to. And finally the curving black line represents your spiritual state.

Area 1: Here, you’re in a state of growth. This is fantastic! You’re learning and improving!

Area 2: You are neither growing nor declining, but there is nothing wrong with this. Many people spend the majority of their time in stasis, their growth periods coming in sudden, sharp increases. Others will almost constantly be in a state of growth too gradual to see. Any way is okay as long as it is your way!

Area 3: This is your decline stage. It isn’t quite a fallow period, but you may notice that you are not quite as sharp as usual or have trouble concentrating on spirit activity. This is fine, it is your body preparing itself for a state of growth, recovering from large energy use, or just focusing on other things. You can also enter a period of stasis before your new growth period as your body recharges. If you feel you are in a stasis period after declining, take some time for both spiritual and mundane self care!

Area 4: Here you have peaked into a time of hyperactivity.. Your senses are better than ever before and your spirit working skills are on fire. This is not necessarily a good thing! Many people don’t know how to manage themselves during this time and end up burning out into area 5. When I was in high school and attended band camp (which wasn’t really camp as much as it was all day summer practices), most parents gave their kids twenty dollars for the entire week’s lunch. As one might expect, the kid spent the entire twenty dollars on day one and spent every other day either hungry or bringing whatever scraps they could find at home. This lack of saving is similar to what you might do during your hyperactivity stage! I’ll speak more later on how to manage this stage.

Area 5: This is a sharp decline after the hyperactivity stage due to burning out. It is possible to exit the hyperactivity stage without going into such a decline, but it cannot be avoided every time. This type of decline typically happens in a very short period of time, even overnight.

Area 6: Here is the moment you’ve been waiting for: your fallow period! This is not a bad thing! Essentially this is your body’s way of resting and recharging so that it can stabilize itself to go back into spiritual matters. Your senses may be distant or nonexistent, your communication may be difficult even with the use of tools, and you may feel a disconnect from spirit work in general. Do not panic and push yourself to do spirit work; you will only damage yourself and spend more time in this state! Strive for self care right and grounding right now. It is perfectly fine to separate from spirit work right now and even recommended for some people. Dive back into the mundane world!

Area 7: Finally, you’ve exited your fallow period! Many people go through growth after their fallow periods because their bodies are so fresh from recharging. Don’t burn yourself out, but feel free to have some celebratory communication with your spirit friends!

So you’re saying my fallow periods aren’t abnormal? They’re good?

ABSOLUTELY! Not only are they good, but they are necessary for you to maintain your abilities! Going without fallow periods would be like going without sleeping. You would eventually crash and burn from the lack of rest, and then your fallow period would be more akin to being knocked unconscious than a good night’s sleep. Don’t try to push them away.

And my spirits really don’t care?

Your spirits are more attuned to spiritual needs than humans. Not only are they going to be aware of this cycle, but they may go through it too. Almost everything goes through it. If you’ve been with a spirit for a long time, you may have noticed times where they don’t communicate much or fade into the background. They also go through periods where they have difficulty communicating with physical creatures. Some will hide this very well, while others will be very upfront on the subject.

How often should I be getting these? How long should they be?

This depends entirely on yourself. Everyone has a different natural cycle. Some people will have cycles of sharp increases and decreases, with every stage lasting in bursts. Others will have almost constant growth, but it is so gradual that they feel as if they are in permanent stasis. Your fallow periods are going to be whatever your body needs. If you need longer periods to recharge then it will be longer, and perhaps lessened in intensity. Others will have shorter periods, but they are more intense because your body has to dip so far down to recharge so quickly. It is not always even, either! Most people have fairly even patterns within their cycles, but it is possible to be everchanging. As for your hyperactivity, this is usually a sharp, albeit short-lived, spike.

Now onto how to manage your cycle!

Signs of entering a hyperactivity period:

  • Pressure, vibrations, buzzing, or other unusual sensations in your third eye and other energy centers
  • Psychic senses are suddenly intensified, possibly to the point of discomfort
  • Feeling as if you are not grounded
  • Difficulty grounding
  • Floating sensation
  • Headaches
  • Disconnection from reality; disassociation
  • More attuned to the astral and physical planes than your physical body
  • Others notice that your energy is bold and even chaotic, much louder than usual
  • You attract spirits more than in your normal energy state
  • Seemingly endless energy for spirit work and other related activities
  • Sudden motivation for spirit work, you may feel an exaggeration of your skill level
  • A disregard for discernment

How to manage a hyperactivity period:

  • Ground frequently! While it may feel useless, it will help to stabilize you in the long run
  • Discharge your energy into crystals and other storage units. It will give an outlet for excess energy and give you boosts when in need
  • Attempt meditations focused around peace, calm, and stability
  • Spend time in a garden or otherwise surrounded by nature, and ground by extending your energy like roots into the earth. Doing this will help to connect yourself to the energy system around you, the plants aiding in keeping you stable
  • This is a good time to look at the big pictures of vast energy systems. Try looking at the energetic connections within a forest, or between houses in a neighborhood.
  • Do not go overboard with spirit work, energy work, magic, etc! You will not start to feel the effects of burning out until it has happened. Work on grounding and stabilizing and try to not overwork yourself.
  • Consistency is the key! Instead of spending your energy all at once, try to use this time to be consistent with your spirit senses and communication. Consistency takes much more energy than you may realize!
  • Although you shouldn’t do everything all at once, that doesn’t mean you can’t get things done right now! Feel free to work on that big project, just pay extra attention to your spiritual health and go easy.
  • Don’t get arrogant or stupid! While confidence is good and important, don’t let your abundance of energy convince you to summon a nuclear doom spirit of death without protection. You will regret power trips.
  • Practice discernment! You may feel concrete in your senses right now but it is just as important as ever
  • PROTECTION!! Some people become larger beacons for spirits during this time, so up your protection and be wary of strange spirits. Even if you do not become more attractive than normal, energy siphoning spirits will still be drawn to the excess of food in you
  • Be extra polite to local spirits. Perhaps put up a ward to quiet your energy to others or if possible avoid going into particularly active locations. Even if they have no wish to snack on you, the loud energy can be obnoxious.

Signs of entering a fallow period:

  • Disinterest and lack of motivation for spirit work, energy work, and magic
  • Psychic senses are distant or nonexistent
  • Tools seem to fail or are difficult to understand
  • You do not naturally notice telepathic speech from spirits
  • Discernment is difficult, or you may feel that nothing is real
  • Attempting spirit work, energy work, or magic exhausts you
  • You are constantly distracted when attempting to meditate or astral travel
  • You think less of your spirits throughout the day
  • You are more drawn to mundane activities, such as watching tv, and feel the need to skip or pay less attention to daily exercises
  • If you feel guilt over ignoring your spirits, you are still unable to communicate well
  • Sudden frustration with your lack of ability and progress, feeling as if you have retrograded
  • Sadness or other negative emotions at the sudden sense of disconnect from your spirits, as if your bonds have disappeared

How to manage a fallow period:

  • Focus on the mundane world! Your body is not meant to be overworking itself on the nonphysical right now
  • Work on gentle physical self care
  • As you breathe in, visualize energy in your body like liquid streams of light collecting and brightening in your third eye and any other places you use as psychic energy organs. As you breathe out, it gently diffuses outwards back throughout your body, dimming as it is once again returned to its regular density. This helps to keep your psychic energy points in shape.
  • Visualize your energy like before, but when you breathe in it flows in a steady, circular cycle upwards from the tip of your toes through your chest. Let it pass through your third eye, and as you breathe out it completes the second half of the cycle by curving downwards, flowing through and cleansing that side’s energy centers as it does so. Rather than being in a single ball, the energy is in a constant, equal flow like the blood in your veins. This helps to keep your energy clean and flowing and cuts down the risk of stagnation during your fallow period.
  • If you must do any sort of spirit or energy work, make sure it is very slow and gentle like the two exercises above. It must not conflict with your body’s rest. If you wish to practice meditation, don’t do anything requiring long periods of focus or that demands energy. Try doing meditations for sleep or calm which do not involve any spirit contact, but only focus on relaxing your body.
  • Spiritual protection based in the physical plane is very good to have for when your fallow periods occur! These are things such as witch jars and large scale crystal grids. It is easier to keep these clean and working, since you may not be able to sense purely nonphysical protection like wards at all.
  • If you wish to remind your spirits that you have them in your thoughts, include them in a daily meal by offering its energy as you eat. Simply thinking this will most likely be enough for them to hear, but if you want to be certain, say it aloud or whisper it if with company!
  • Before you go to bed, invite your spirits to sit with you as you tell them about your day, no matter how mundane. Even if you can’t sense them around you, this will show them that you are still keeping them in your thoughts and taking the time to include them in your day!
  • However, it’s also okay to simply push spirit work to the back of your mind and focus on pressing mundane matters. They will understand.
  • Above all, remember that your spiritual self is resting and recharging. Do what your own body needs to encourage this rest. Don’t try to rush past it or forcibly stuff energy into yourself, most likely you’ll end up hurt and elongating this period.

So hopefully this guide will help on the stress everyone seems to get during their fallow periods! It’s always important for us to understand the natural workings of our bodies, whether physical or nonphysical. Start including your daily thoughts on your current location in your body’s cycle to start recognizing your patterns, and maybe to even predict when your natural downtimes will occur!

Jeff Atkins imagine #1

Request: jeff atkins imagine where u guys go to jess’ pool party and he’s really sweet and cute to u, fluff!!

Originally posted by words-plus-wisdom

a/n this is my first imagine so take it easy on me;))


This is the one mess id never thought id get myself into, but yet here i am at one of Jess’s famous high school parties. Jeff Atkins, the boy i never thought id talk to, was the one that dragged me here. I guess helping Clay tutor Jeff made him and I acquaintances of some sort. But sitting here, alone in the back yard, made me think otherwise.

“Hey y/n! i n-never thought id see you here.” Jess’s drunken self sauntered her way over, practically falling on top of me.

“Nice to see you too Jess.” I’ve never seen her like this before, its like a whole new world.

“So i heard that Jeff the hotty Atkins was the one who brought you here.” she stated making googly eyes at me. “and i must say that you two would like very cute together, i ship it!”

As she finished her sentence you look towards the beer pong table, just in time to see Jeff win yet again another game. He caught your eye just as you were about to look away.

“Look who is coming right our way y/n, i guess i should leave you two alone.” she sent a wink my way just as Jeff took the seat she was just in.

Looking down trying to hide my blush, i heard Jeff mutter ‘nice party!’ to Jess as she was going in her house. Butterflies started to form in my stomach, something that seems to happen whenever i am next to Jeff.

“No alcohol tonight?” I asked. I could’ve sworn a jock like Jeff would already be wasted passed out somewhere.

“Actually no, never really drink at parties other than a beer or two. Im usually the designated driver.” he turned towards me. “How about you though, enjoying yourself?”

‘Better now that you're here’ she thought. “Actually not as bad as i thought it would be, Maybe you should bring me to parties more often.” I almost cringed at how bad that line was. Trying to save myself, i continued, “i mean if you want to, its all up to you.”

Jeff suddenly grabbed her hand. ‘what is he doing?’ I suddenly thought. “y/n if im being honest with you, i actually really enjoy your company. Usually these parties consist of me beating everyone in beer pong.” Laughing at his statement, i finally look at him in the eyes. ‘damn those eyes’. “lets make a bet out of this actually, if you can make this beer can into the trash over there ill take you to every party i go to.” he stated.

‘But what if i miss? What will you get out of this?” I was honestly confused. “Its a surprise, now do we have a deal?” ‘i suck at sports’ I suddenly thought, but I was not backing down. “ You have a deal Atkins.” I stated shaking hands with the baseball player.

I took the beer can and and aimed the best I could, finally letting the can go out of my hands. It was like slow motion in the air, but just as i thought i was winning the bet, it hit the edge and bounce out. “Shit!” I cursed.

Jeff laughed at your reaction to losing the bet. ‘i never lose do i?’ He thought to himself, ‘now or never i guess.’ 

“Come on! That’s not fair.” i stated with a frown. “so i guess you wo-” suddenly my sentence was cut of with a pair of soft lips.

Once i realized it was Jeff, My world stopped. ‘is this actually happening? am i actually kissing the boy I’ve liked since the beginning of freshmen year? holy shit!’ So many thoughts were racing through my head.

He pulled away slowly muttering against your lips,”was that okay? because it was totally okay for me.” i slowly pulled away looking into his eyes and said the first thing that came to mind. 

“It was better than okay.”

anonymous asked:

hi mom! can you please do the apartment!au for shinee?

me back at it again with the shinee aus when will i stop

Onew

  • when someone asks him if he has kids onew is always like ,,,,,,, do i really look that old,,,,,,, and the person is like oh no!! i was just asking?? and onew has to excuse himself and sit in his apartment quietly for the next four hours lamenting over how he’s become a Dad without having any actual kids
  • calls over jonghyun to help him see if he’s got any grey hairs growing
  • tried to keep plants for a while but they all died and sat on his windowsill for a month before he remembered to throw them out
  • is pretty indifferent to how his apartment actually looks and he gets scolded by key because “hyung,,,,,your bed sheets are hot pink and your rug is mustard yellow and your pillows are zebra stripes this place is a Hot Mess”
  • onew’s most well known for being really really good at saving up money. like ,,,,,, he knows all the grocery stores that are having sales on eggs like a month in advance. the old ladies love him
  • he’s always got coupons in his wallet and coupons pinned to his fridge like you won’t catch onew paying those extra 75 cents for milk no sirie
  • and you’ve been wondering for the past couple of weeks,,,,,,where the hell your sunday coupons have been going. someone always delivers a flyer of a bunch of them over the weekend but you haven’t gotten any???? and it’s so weird
  • but one day as you’re leaving early to get some laundry done you open your door and there’s your neighbor onew,,,,,,in his hands,,,,,,,,your coupon flyer
  • and you’re like “THIEF”
  • and onew is like “wAIT ,,,,, I CAN EXPLAIN”
  • and you’re like “four weeks of coupons. you owe me FOUR. WEEKS. OF. COUPONS.”
  • and onew is like,,,,,,,,,fine ill give you all the coupons i have right now to make up for it and you’re like pfft how much is that like five??
  • but he legitamtely pulls out a wad of coupons that looks like a wad of cash and you’re like holy shit there’s like fifty in here and onew is like “im the King of getting thos Good Deals”
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh my god but also you’re interested,,,,,like how does one become the king of good deals
  • and onew is like “it all begins with a zen body and a zen soul,,,,,and then you think about how money rules everything and if you can get bread ten cents cheaper today that ten cents can save you tomorrow”
  • and you’re looking at him like woah,,,,,,,,,,,,,why am i so attracted to you right now
  • and onew is like “oh it’s because im also handsome” and you’re like good point
  • and he’s like “ill take you out sometime when i get enough coupons to get us two free dinners at the kfc down the street”

Jonghyun

  • you know those neighbors who decorate their door for every holiday even if they don’t celebrate that holiday. that’s jonghyun. 
  • like jonghyun you’re not irish why is your door covered in green banners and glitter and pots of gold and a life size cutout of a leprechaun,,,,,,,st.patricks day isn’t even that popular in korea
  • but also like jonghyun is really hard not to like because he’s got a glowing personality that’s so upbeat and open minded ,,,,,,,well then there’s probably some Sad Salty people who wouldn’t like it
  • but you know,,,,,, he’s cute if he sees the grandma’s outside practicing their morning yoga he’s like “doing great ladies~” and he like ruffles kids hair or gives them snacks that he’s bring back home
  • like he’s a cheerful guy and his apartment is obviously that of a laidback person because he’s got blankets like everywhere and half-eaten bowls of cereal on the floor next to magazines thrown haphazardly here and there
  • but like if anyone has any complaints he’s like “hey, my kitchen has a vase with a flower in it that isn’t dead. that’s all the aesthetic i need”
  • mostly he uses his bedroom as a practice studio and sometimes he gets too loud but if anything people like his voice too much to tell him to stop
  • and you know jonghyun because of a tiny little,,,,,,,,,,,ok very big,,,,,feud you’ve both had going on when it comes to new years decorations
  • like every year you see jonghyun go all out and finally you were like, you know what, i wanna do that too
  • and so you ended up buying a wreath slightly bigger than his and getting lights on your door and jonghyun,,,,,,,,,,,well jonghyun decided this was a battle now
  • and so every time new year comes around everyone is like whoose door is gonna be prettier yours or jonghyuns???? 
  • and this year jonghyun even paid onew fifty bucks to stand infront of his door dressed as a snowman for added Effect
  • but you know onew so all it took was some food and onew betrayed jonghyun in a heartbeat and jonghyun,,,,,well jonghyun ends up pounding on your door and he’s like “that’s against the rules you can’t BRIBE my decorations,,,,”
  • and you’re like “there are no rules jonghyun also did you just call onew a ‘decoration’??” and jonghyun is like NOT THE POINT why are you trying so hard to beat me
  • and you’re like im not,,,,,,i jsut want a pretty door and he’s like HEY don’t play innocent and you’re like hmm,,,,idk what you’re talking about,,,,,,
  • and jonghyun is like “you took away my snowman, now i can take something of yours away!” and he reaches out to take off your wreath but then he’s like “wait. is this made of mistletoe?”
  • and you’re like “yeah wh- oh wait” and jonghyun’s hand is already lifting and he’s like “,,,,,,,,,we’re under the mistletoe wreath,,,,,,” and you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but we’re enemies”
  • and jonghyun is like “in the end you’re the cutest neighbor ive ever head and we can keep being enemies but like why not kiss and see where that takes us?”
  • and you’re like oh my god how did he transition from being pissed at me to flirting with me so naturally
  • but you’re like you know,,,,whatever jonghyun IS pretty cute himself so you lean up and jonghyun uses his free hand to cup your cheek
  • and when you pull back you’re like “so? we’re still enemies?”
  • and jonghyun is like “well,,,,,,,,,how about this you give me another kiss and i take this wreath and we’ll call it even. maybe we’ll even call it,,,,, are you free this weekend for a date?” 

Key

  • put his dogs names up next to his on his nameplate outside his apartment 
  • more pet furniture than people furniture,,,,,,closet bigger than my hopes and dreams,,,,,,a stock of different wines in the refrigerator as well as an assortment of cheeses and grapes
  • is the only member of his group to have actually purchased wine glasses to drink wine. onew drinks it out of a mug, jonghyun broke all his glasses, minho drinks from the bottle and taemin is banned from wine. and anything that isn’t really lite beer
  • everyone who owns a dog in the building admires key because holy moly,,,,,he keeps them so well cleaned and they’re so well mannered and key is like “Yes, these are my Children”
  • a really good neighbor because for the most part he just locks himself in his room and watches dramas while shit talking them over the phone with friends
  • and when he does have people over it’s like,,,,,it’s never loud or crazy they all just sit in a circle and discuss the Drama while looking at fashion magazines or doing face masks like how,,,,,,ideal
  • speaking of Drama key lives for the building drama like omg what did miss kim do with the other miss kim’s husband last weekend WOAH do tell
  • you know key because out of everyone on your floor you,,,,,literally have never gotten into a fight with anyone or started anything and key is just like ,,,,,,,whenever he sees you he’s like how can a person be so lowkey 
  • and key is sure you’re hiding something so one afternoon you hear a knock on your door and there’s key,,,,,,,,holding a bottle of what you presume is like champagne and he’s like “we haven’t properly got to know each other so i came over to offer you a drink ^^” and you’re like o,,,oh sure come in
  • and key is like looking around and you’re like oh no is he judging me??? but in reality he’s just trying to see if there’s anything weird about you or like,,,,,,,,if there’s anything that gives away a secret
  • but you moved in only a couple of months ago so you haven’t done much with decorating
  • and you like take the bottle of champagne but you can’t open it no matter how hard you try and key chuckles because,,,,how cute and opens it with like a flick of his wrist
  • and you two sit,,,,,,at first in awkward silence as key swivels the glass around in his hand and you’re taking nervous sips trying to think of small talk
  • and key finally is like “tell me the truth: you’re actually a royal in hiding?” and you’re like fhljsasfd what???? and key sits back and is like “there has to be something about you,,,,,,,,something about you that you want no one to know since you have become close to anyone else out of your neighbors”
  • and you’re like????? i mean not really im just a busy ,,,,,,person???/
  • and key is like hmmmmm and you’re like “i,,,,,uh,,,,,,really hated this recent drama” and key perks up and is like “oh - why?” and i guess you just get super heated about this drama
  • because you end up talking for a while about how bad the plot is and how the actors could have been put in another better work and key is like “fINALLY, someone unDERSTANDS ME”
  • and you two both just go off about how you hated the main antagonist and for all the wrong reasons and how the main girl was such a mary sue and blah blah blah
  • you guys end up talking for like four freakin hours until key is like “i need to go and feed the kids!!” and you’re like kids?? wait oh dogs
  • and key is like “i thought you were gonna turn out to be some kind of freaky bug collector or something,,,,,,but you’re really cool and we should totally meet up and watch that other drama coming out so we can talk about how it’s definitely going to be a horrible nightmare”
  • and you’re like ok????/ at the bug collector thing but ok!!!!! and meeting up
  • and key smiles and he’s like “also, you look cuter with your hair down like this. really casual and nice. keep it like that more often” and then he’s gone and you’re left with a pounding heart a bit and half a bottle of champagne 

Minho

  • more gym equipment then necessary in his apartment,,,,,used those display cabinets that usually house like silverware to display all his signed soccer balls
  • has a ps4 but only to play one game: fifa
  • to put it bluntly his place looks like a ‘bachelors pad’ but at least it isn’t as messy as jonghyuns (or as hoarded up as taemins)
  • and for the most part minho is really liked by the neighbors because he actually takes the time to recycle and he’s nice enough to volunteer his time to help with morning exercise for the elderly if he can
  • but also minho please stop wearing a headband to bed,,,,,,no one does that,,,,,,,,, please
  • has the habit of putting the tv volume all the way up during a game and sometimes also yelling even louder than that tv and he’s had some noise complaints made about him,,,,,,im not going to lie
  • but he’s just a passionate boy who really loves sports and has a good heart like he calls his mom every chance he gets and gives some of his money to charities to help fund more afterschool sports clubs for kids like,,,,,,,a sweetheart
  • and you’ve been friends for a good while. sometimes you’ll come over and watch the games with minho and his friends and yes there are times when you’re there for the actual game. other times it’s because he orders an insane amount of pizza and you’re all about that
  • but also like,,,,,,,,,,for as long as you’ve known him,,,,you’ve always found minho like really super cute,,,,,,,
  • so seeing his concentrated face on the game, handsome features like a strong jaw and soft brown eyes like,,,,,,,you don’t mind coming over for the View
  • but as always,,,,,you somehow end up embarrassing yourself in front of the people you like
  • and it’s the most embarrassing when you lock yourself out of your apartment and knock on minho’s and he’s like “what’s up?? why do you look so down??” and you’re like “minho,,,,,,,we have a problem”
  • and when you purpose the idea of opening his window so you can climb out of it and try and stretch your leg out to the ledge of your own apartments balcony
  • minho is like,,,,,,,, “we’re five floors up though,,,,,,” and you’re like pfft that’s nothing ILL BE FINE
  • but then you two open the window and you look down and you’re like ok frick no i wont be fine
  • and minho is like “hey, you can spend the night here and in the morning get the landlord to unlock your door” and you’re like ,,,,,,,,spend,,,,,the night,,,,,,,
  • and minho grins and is like “ill take the couch, you can have my bed!” and you’re like oh my god,,,,and he’s like “here you can borrow a shirt of mine to sleep in since you don’t want to sleep in what you wore outside” 
  • and you’re like,,,,,this feels very,,,,,,intimate
  • and when you change into the oversized jersey you’re like,,shyly coming out and minho is on the couch and when he looks up like not even he can hide his obvious stare
  • and you’re like WELL ILL JUST ,,,,,,,,, go to sleep and he’s like “it’s 8pm though” and you’re like Right,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and you sit down beside him on the couch and it’s a little (a lot) awkward but then minho is like “how about i teach you to play FIFA?” 
  • and you agree and before you know it you’ve got your hands on the controller and minho is cheering you on and you’re like i SUCK but he’s like you’re doing great!!!!
  • and once you get your first goal minho like pulls you into a hug and you snuggle your face into his chest
  • bUT THEN YOU’RE BOTH LIKE OH SHIT IM SORRY!!! And let go and it’s like you’re both blushy and like ok someone cut the tension with a knife just tell each other you like each other and makeout let’s gooooo 

Taemin 

  • described as “interesting” by most of the people in the building 
  • has no sense of like,,,,,,throwing things out like he’s very much a hoarder and likes to collect trinkets and things he finds amusing but then forgets about in like 10 minutes but like now it’s here,,,,taking up shelf space
  • you know when people are like “i just picked this up off the floor and wore it” like taemin does that but he literally does that like ,,,, it’s not like he pulls things out of his closet it’s like “oh! there’s a shirt on the kitchen counter and some pants hanging off the bathroom wall,,,,,,,ok good outfit”
  • but he also has some kind of cute, nostalgic things in his apartment like pressed flowers he’s hung in frames and pictures of him and his friends when he was really young
  • and he never bothers anyone, sure he can come off a little,,,,,,eccentric with mostly black and white wardrobe, multiple piercings, and like,,,,,long skinny body
  • but like,,,,,he’s sweet also the neighborhood stray animals are attracted to him like a magnet. they’ll follow him home and he always has to carry them back out onto the sidewalk with a really sad face
  • and your window is right across from taemins,,,,,like you’re neighbors but in different buildings but you also see him around the neighborhood a lot
  • and you’re like well one day you notice that when you look out of your window at like 3 am because you’re up doing work you see the lights on in taemin’s living room and then you see him?????????
  • dancing????????
  • to like???? a song from the 70s???? and then straight up like trot music and you don’t mean to be Weird and stare but there he is sliding around his living room dancing
  • and you think it’s endearing because tbh you have your own Weird quirks about you that you’ll do when no ones watching like everyone does it
  • but it’s cute and nice to know that there are other people out there who dance to old music at 3 am
  • and maybe it’s because of taemin or maybe because you always wanted to do it you turn on this popular idol groups song at like 3 am one day and decide you’re gonna teach yourself some moves
  • and you’re trying to get into it, really just giving up on actual dance steps and just like dancing around your house being weird and like serenading your pillow
  • and when you do a twirl you look over and you swear you see taemin’s lights on as well
  • and you’re like dhkgjf i need to stop before he,,,,,,sees me like i saw him
  • but the next morning as you’re at the bus stop you notice taemin is there too and he’s ???? walking over to you???//
  • and you don’t talk much but he’s like hey!! and you’re like hi?? and he’s like “so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you dance at random times at night too?”
  • and you turn cherry red because oH GOD HE,,,,saw you
  • but taemin is just grinning and he’s like “it’s fun right? i bet a lot of people do it but it’s cool that we’re neighbors that both do it - that way we probably don’t bother each other!!”
  • and you swallow but you’re embarrassed and you’re like,,,,,,,,,, “i can’t believe you saw that,,,,,,” and taemin just gives you a shocked expression and he’s like 
  • “don’t be so flustered, it’s cool!!!!!! we should have a dance-over one day”
  • and you’re like a dance-over?? and taemin’s grinning again and he’s like yeah! it’s a sleep-over but instead of sleep we dance!!!!1
  • and you’re like huh omg that sounds fun and he’s like it is here, take my number
  • and he pulls a pen from his bag and flips your hand over to scribble down numbers on your palm and you’re like hehe because it tickles
  • but the bus is coming and taemin is like i gtg, but text me!!!!! and he gives you another smile
  • this one that makes you realize that up close,,,,,,taemin is so damn cute and now you have his number like,,,,,,,,,,,,way to GO and it’s all thanks to you two being big dorks who love to get jiggy with it at night LOL 

beatrice-babe  asked:

I'm working on an assignment about how we could modify the way we teach Shakespeare so students understand it. In combing through JSTOR (our lord and savior) I found two articles both discussing how damned difficult it is to teach Shakespeare. Each is titled 'Teaching Shakespeare'. One is from 1942. The other is from 1893. It is 2017, and we still don't know how the fuck to teach this shit so people get it. Academic struggles all day every day and literally nothing has changed

University was a dream come true for me. I had amazing lecturers and the class had a three-pronged approach:

1. Explain the historical context of the play, how it was originally performed and how it was received

2. View different modern adaptations (at least 2-3, sometimes more, and ideally look at some from other cultures and in other languages) and compare and contrast how they interpret the same text

3. Encourage students to interpret the text in their own way. Wanna make A Midsummer Night’s Dream about two lesbians, Lysander and Hermia, running away from a homophobic society? Go for it. Now explain why you chose to do that and how you would stage it.

We would have lectures that were theory-based, interrupted by the professor playing some clips from different adaptations. Later in the week we would meet in a theatre space and work with the text physically, vocally, and have an open and honest discussion about what we were studying. We got through one play every two weeks over a 12 week period and came out with a solid understanding of each one. Extraordinary stuff.

Now, compare this approach, which is interesting, engaging and relevant to the modern era and our own experiences, to how it’s traditionally taught in high school.

You sit.

In a room.

You read the play.

You’re stuck with it for weeks and weeks.

You have no fucking clue what’s being said or why you should care. 

Your teacher then asks you to write an essay on a topic that will have some ludicrously long title that you barely understand.

You go away hating Shakespeare and viewing it as horrible and boring. 

And you completely miss what the text is about and what it can be about.

The thing that was really powerful at uni, and what we should endeavour to bring to teenage students, was looking at other people’s adaptations. Reading Shakespeare as a 15 year old, or indeed at any age, can be a struggle. It feels like you’re reading gobbledegook. How the hell are you supposed to understand Elizabethan slang? How are you supposed to engage with the story if you keep reaching for a dictionary every 2 seconds? But that’s where skilled actors and directors come into it, because these guys do the work for you. For example, The Globe theatre is a massive draw for tourists around the world. They perform plays in the original language in a way that is hugely accessible and entertaining for all people, no matter their background. They use voice, action and gesture to make sure you understand. It’s an old maxim that Shakespeare is meant to be seen and not heard, and it’s true, so let your students watch the professionals act it out. Let them watch two or three! Maybe more! And once they start to grasp the text, aided by historical context, get them up and get them speaking and performing. And if someone’s shy and doesn’t want to perform? That’s totally fine! They’re now the director, and they can come up with ideas that others will put into practice. 

Get people talking. Start arguments. Shakespeare’s plays will say something different to each different person. What is it about this text that you latch onto? Which adaptation did you like best? How do you think it should come to life? And when you assigns essays and assessments, let them write and argue about what they are passionate about. I fucking hate those essay prompts that box you in and allow no room to put forward your own feelings, which make you talk about the theme of forgiveness or whatever when you think fuck you, this play wasn’t about forgiveness at all, it was about (x).

Even with the little stuff, there’s no point just saying “so the definition of iambic pentameter is…” and moving on, you should be up there with your hand on your heart, making them tap along to their own heartbeats, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, Two HOUSE-holds BOTH a-LIKE in DIG-ni-TY - great! You feel it, don’t you? You feel those 10 beats in your heart, and now what happens when you recite a line that’s slightly irregular? Sometimes you’ll get a weird line that’s 9, 11 or 12 syllables where everything else is 10, sometimes you’ll get the stressed syllable in a different place than it should be, and you can feel that as you’re reciting - it’s as if your heart suddenly started beating faster or skipped a beat, and you have to listen to it and ask - why did Shakespeare want me to stress that? Why did this character suddenly falter and slip out of rhythm? Same with things like assonance, alliteration, repetition, juxtaposition and all those others words that make students’ eyeballs melt out of their heads. Don’t just make them memorise an arbitrary list of definitions, show them what they can do.

For example: repetition in Much Ado About Nothing. Beatrice and Benedick will often choose a word or an idea and then hit it back and forth like a shuttlecock until one of them drops it. But it’s the repetition of the word heart that is most striking, and the image of Beatrice’s heart in particular. Beatrice has a “merry heart,” she has a “wild heart,” Margaret jokes she should lay Carduus Benedictus to “your heart,” Benedick declares he wants to “live in thy heart.” The word crops up close to forty times throughout the play, associated with love, happiness, sexual ardour - nice things, in other words. In the confession scene we see:

BEATRICE: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it, with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart none is left to protest. 

And then, all of a sudden, just a few lines later, Shakespeare pulls the fucking rug out from under us. Remember all that nice heart imagery? Throw it out the window, and listen to what Beatrice has to say about Claudio, the scumbag who disgraced and almost killed her innocent cousin: I would eat his heart in the marketplace.

HOOOLY SHIT DUDE

Do you see that? One word, one image, one idea and suddenly it’s like the the roof has caved in. Claudio said he loved her cousin, and then he nearly killed her. And Beatrice, with her loving, merry heart, the heart that Benedick wishes to live in, says I would eat his heart. If hurting women is what Claudio intends to do with his love and his heart, then by God she will fucking pull it out of his chest and eat it where everyone can see so they know what should happen to men like him. 

Feel it, listen to it, live it. Those definitions will seem abstract and alien when you read them on the page - who cares if a few words start with the same letter? What does it matter if he repeats a couple of words? But you have to get into the text and really hear and see, viscerally, what these techniques are capable of. They should make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. 

Historical context is another issue I won’t go too far into, but suffice to say that it’s something that deserves far more attention than it gets. Apart from anything else, it’s interesting! People got up to crazy stuff in Shakespeare’s time, we should know about the world the Bard lived in.

I apologise for ranting, but yes. Shakespeare is often taught in an inadequate or inappropriate way, and for the sanity of high school students everywhere we should endeavour to teach teachers how Shakespeare should be taught.

Drunk amazon - Wonder Woman x Reader

Hey, first girl I get a request for..Perfect. I kept the reader “genderless”, and realized I should probably do that more often so anyone can read. Anyway, thanks @freethecagedeggs for that :) (and also thanks in general, cause I see you often in my notifications, liking my things and stuffs <3).I hope you’ll like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_____________________________________________________________________

It’s embarrassing really. And such a hassle. She’s so goddamn strong. And her voice is so loud. You were pretty sure she was going to wake up the entire neighborhood…

What the Hell was she singing anyway ? Was it in…Ancient Greek ? 

She leans on you a bit more and you loose your balance, because she’s way heavier than she seems and almost all her weight is on your shoulder, as you support her drunk ass back home. 

You both crash into a wall, and you’re pretty sure you bruised a few ribs. She bursts out in laughter, and multiple voices from around the block are yelling at you two to “shut the fuck up”. You waved at some of them to apologize, and they just gave you the middle finger. Nice. 

She starts singing again, even louder than before, if it was even possible. 

-Diana, please, calm d…oh you better not throw up on me !

You take her arm off of around your shoulders, and she falls to her knee. You don’t even feel bad for letting her go, because damn, she brought that on herself. 

She’s gagging over and over again, but no, she doesn’t throw up. Not on you, nor on the floor. And, carefully, you get close to her again to help her stand back up. 

-I swear to the Gods Diana, this is the last time I help you ! 

-You always say that…

-Well, I mean it this time ! 

-You’re adorable my love. 

-And you’re insufferable ! 

-Thanks. 

Rolling your eyes, you start to walk back to your shared apartment once again, with an amazon that calmed down just a little bit. She still sings some songs in ancient Greek, but this time, you’re the only one who can hear, and you’d never admit it, but her soft voice in your ear is somewhat soothing and very nice. 

Keep reading

Stay- Zach

Request: Hi! Could I request a Zach imagine?? Where the reader is invited to his party and he’s trying to win her over and asks her to stay the night and to prove it’s not in a sexual way he shuts down the whole party, sends everyone home immediately and watches Netflix her. Thanks!

Your welcome :) this inspired me so it’s a little longer than my usual posts.


 Stay - Zach

“Y/N!” You heard a deep voice call causing you to turn around to see none other than Zach Dempsey.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I was wondering if you wanted to go to my party tonight.” He said sounding vaguely nervous. You couldn’t help but be shocked by the invite; you had only talked to him a handful of times, most of them about school. That and the fact that he had your number from a group assignment a week ago, and he could’ve just texted you.

“Uh yeah maybe. I’m going to be late for Physics but just text me the details.” You responded before racing off to class.

You spent the rest of the day wondering whether you should actually go and trying to figure out why he even invited you. You never were the party type, you didn’t hang out with any of his crowd, and you weren’t even remotely popular. Yet the minute you got home you were riffling through your closet trying to figure out what you could wear. Giving up you settled on a pair of distressed jeans and a lower cut shirt than you would usually wear, curled your hair, and decided not the change the makeup you wore to school in fear of looking like you were trying too hard.

Once you deemed it late enough you drove to the party trying to push away your nerves; it was just a high school party, so you knew you shouldn’t be nervous. Zach most likely didn’t mean anything by inviting you. He was just being polite. That’s all it was. When you pulled up to the house you were even more nervous; the house was surrounded by cars and you could hear music from nearly a block away. You found a parking spot and made your way to the door trying to keep your cool as best as possible. The door was wide open and you could see a crowd of people inside so you made your way in and to the kitchen where you made a weird concoction of bear and soda, mostly just soda.

“You made it.” Zach said walking into the kitchen behind you, having to speak extra loudly over the music. He leaned against the counter watching you as you poured your drink.

“Figured I better do the high school party thing sometime.” You only half joked while smiling up at him.

“Trust me you don’t miss much by not going,” he paused, “but I have to say I’m glad you’re here.”

You didn’t have time to wonder what he meant and decided not to worry about thinking so much, “Surprisingly, I am too.”

“You know I don’t think I’ve ever had this long of a conversation with you that wasn’t about school.” He admitted.

“Oh yeah? How’s this new experience treating you?” You asked taking a sip of your drink.

“Well, let’s just say I’ve hoping this happens a lot more often.” He responded then paused for a few seconds, “you should stay tonight. I want to get to know you.”

Your face went cold, you knew exactly what ‘get to know you’ meant in the mind of a teenage boy, “No, I’m going to go outside. It’s too loud in here.”

You tried to talk past him but his voice stopped you, “Wait Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that. Please just stay, and I promise I won’t try anything. I really just want to actually talk to you and get to know you.”

With most guys you wouldn’t believe them but the sad puppy look on his face stopped you. When Justin walked into the kitchen Zach stopped him.

“Hey, get everyone out of here.” He told Justin in a stern face.

“What? Dude it just started.” He said rolling his eyes at his friend.

“Just tell them someone called the cops. Get everyone out of here now. Look I’ll owe you one.” Zach responded begging his friend who sighed and walked back out to the party. You could hear him yelling about the cops and how everyone needed to leave.

“Why did you do that?” You asked looking up at him.

“This way we can watch movies or something in the living room.” He paused and rubbed the back of his neck, “I know if I brought you upstairs to my room you’d be uncomfortable and think I’m trying something.”

You smiled at him, finally believing he was sincere, “Okay, I’ll stay.”