i really really have been thinking about getting map as a tattoo

one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.

I’ve got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies

for @legividivici, hope you like it!! <3 (ao3)


The last place Clarke expected to run into anyone she knows is the literal middle of the ocean, but the cruise ship has barely left port before she spots a familiar head of tousled curls ahead of her in the crowd.

She loses sight of him before she can get a good look, so she chalks it up to her imagination. It’s entirely possible that Bellamy is on the same cruise she is– they did, after all, both just graduate, and therefore have the same budget and scheduling constraints– but she tells herself it probably isn’t him. And that even if it is him, it’s not like they’re going to run into each other.

So of course the next day she’s on one of the decks by the pool when a shadow falls over her and his voice says, “Is this chair taken?”

Clarke pushes her sunglasses up on top of her head and wrinkles her nose at him.

“I don’t know, I my tiara really ought to have a chair of its own.”

Bellamy smirks and sits on the edge of the chair, not moving her stuff– not yet– but settling in to bicker with her. As is their custom.

She and Bellamy were RAs in the same dorm two years ago, and they had differing ideas at first about how hands-on they needed to be with their freshmen. Despite the way they picked at each other, by the end of the year they’d become reluctant allies, his calling her ‘Princess’ taking on less of a sneer and more of a teasing edge, her comebacks laced with a smile. They had each other’s backs.

But she didn’t re-up her RA contract for her senior year, and he did, and they’re not the type of friends to outright admit they miss each other, so she hasn’t seen nearly as much of him in the past couple of semesters as she would like.

“You here with Wells?”

“And Raven,” she nods. “I was saving those seats for them, but I’m pretty sure they ditched me to have tiny cabin sex.”

“O and Lincoln ditched me pretty fast too. I think they’ve all forfeited their right to a saved seat,” he grins, passing her bag back to her. The way he lounges back in the chair, skin already browning, wind ruffling his hair, he looks like something straight out of an ad. Or Clarke’s fantasies. Either one, really.

Just because she used to think he was a Class-A dick (which he is, but not in the way she thought. In the fun way.) doesn’t mean she’s never noticed how great his hands are, or how he’s got perfect hair for pulling, or how there’s probably more than one way to wipe a smirk off his face.

“Sure, make yourself at home,” she grumbles. He grins at her and pulls his shirt off, which is– honestly just so unfair.

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

pleeeeease tell me there's a story about nate and aj? ❤️❤️❤️

WELL ANONS (from this fic):

Andrew Joseph Minyard doesn’t know a thing about Nathaniel Wesninski until he’s sent to kill him.

That’s perhaps more unusual than one would suspect, knowing Andrew. His general disinterest is well known, but he has a personal stake in knowing the movers and shakers of the magical families on the East Coast.

Know your enemies, and all that. Andrew didn’t used to have those, until he met Kevin Day and finally picked a side that wasn’t himself and his best interests. Now he kills people for righteousness, or what the fuck ever.

“The Wesninskis have a new leader,” Wymack tells them, hands folded on his desk like this is very serious news. “It’s Nathan’s kid, apparently. He’s cleaned house. Or it might be more accurate to say that he wiped the old circle off of the map entirely.”

Like he always does, Kevin goes pale at the mention of one of those families. Wymack flicks him a glance before continuing, “It’s not immediately clear where he stands on the old family alliances, but it makes sense for us to move now while he’s unsettled.”

Andrew can see where this is going already. “I didn’t realise we were killing off children now.”

Wymack shoots him a level look. “He’s twenty-two. Barely younger than you.”

“Well, I suppose that’s alright then,” Andrew replies agreeably. “When do I leave?”

“Hold on. Didn’t he kill his own father?” Nicky cuts in. “Shouldn’t that require a little more investigation than ‘when do I leave’?”

Dan waves a hand. “He’s a mage. Killer or not, he won’t be able to protect himself against non-magical weapons.”

“Don’t worry Nicky. I don’t like to be too well prepared,” Andrew says. It’s not meant to be soothing.

That’s how he ends up crawling through an upper-storey window of the Wesninski mansion, cursing mages and rusted locks. The house is probably warded - Andrew couldn’t say. To him it’s just like breaking into any other house.

What he does notice is the complete emptiness of the building. While mages don’t often have non-magical defence - and Andrew would be a lot less successful if they invested in some attack dogs, or even burglar alarms - they do generally at least have people. But every room he passes - soundlessly, of course - has its door flung wide open to display its total emptiness.

Every instinct he has is screaming. For a moment, he wonders if Wesninski has cleared out of the house entirely. But, despite the limited information for this trip, Andrew knows Wymack wouldn’t send him on a wild goose chase. The mage is here.

He creeps down the stairs, sticking close to the wall. It’s a broad staircase, gaudy even in the near-darkness. Apparently the elder Wesninski had more money than taste.

The lounge is no more elegant, and still empty of people. Beyond it, though, light falls from the doorway. Andrew creeps towards it, palming one of his knives.

Apparently, all his quiet was wasted. The person through the door is waiting for him - and this, having met Nathan, is definitely his son.

Twenty-two he may be, but Wesninski looks like a kid. With his fair falling into his face as he slouches against the kitchen island, he looks nothing like someone who could have killed Nathan and the entire rest of his circle in one fell swoop. Any tracery of magic in him isn’t detectable to Andrew though - for all he knows, the air could be singing with it.

The only giveaway that this man isn’t as normal as Andrew is the curling tattoo emerging over the collar of his t-shirt. It’s a mage-mark, and it’s large. Even Kevin, the most powerful of the Foxes in terms of sheer strength, doesn’t have one that extends so far across his skin.

“You’re AJ Minyard,” Wesninski says. He looks excited about that. Andrew didn’t realise he was a groupie. It’s the danger of being a contract killer - being known by your signature. Andrew is Andrew, except when he’s AJ and earning his keep in blood.

“Usually, your kind is throwing spells by now,” he replies blandly. Not that it ever helps them.

“That would be a waste of time, though. Wouldn’t it?” Wesninski says. “You’re immune.”

Well then. “You’re smarter than you look,” Andrew informs him. 

“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you’re so successful,” Wesninski shrugs. “I need to send a message to Kevin.”

Wesninski isn’t following the script. Andrew glances at his watch - usually they’d have gotten past the initial failed attempt to blast Andrew off of the face of the earth with magic and moved onto either running - unusual, mages didn’t like to run - or begging. “Do I look like a messenger to you?”

That earns a thin smile. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is that demeaning?”

“If you think I’m here for that, then you’re confused,” Andrew says. 

Wesninski throws his arms wide. “Well, go ahead then. You know I can’t fight you. And it’s not like I can run.”

Fuck’s sake, Andrew didn’t come here for a conversation. Still, though - he throws a glance at Wesninski’s legs. “Too lazy for it?”

“Not exactly. I know you probably don’t care for magical theory, so the short explanation is that right now I can’t leave this house. Hence wanting to speak with Kevin. The best I could do is hide in a closet, and I can’t imagine that would deter you.”

“As sob-stories go, you might want to try ‘but I have children and a wife’,” Andrew advises. 

“As if that would help me.” Wesninski rolls his eyes. “That’s fine. I wasn’t expecting you to help me for free. I’ll give you something you want in exchange.”

Andrew really should have just killed him instead of saying a word. Corpses are so much less trouble. He raises an eyebrow to signal that his patience is wearing thin.

“If you want a chance at getting anywhere near Riko Moriyama, you’ll help me,” Wesninski says.

That’s an interesting offer. “What makes you think I care about that?”

“Do you think it isn’t common knowledge in the upper circles about what happened between him and Kevin?” Wesninski says. “Plus you’ve been working your way through all the high blood families over the last year. I figured a Moriyama must be right up there on your wish list. Particularly that one.”

He isn’t wrong. “I’m not here to make a deal with you.”

“Are you sure about that?” That smile again. It’s really a wonder someone so irritating hasn’t been killed already. “I have access to the Moriyamas now, whether they like it or not. I think you’d like to make use of that. Better move fast, though - you aren’t the only one who wants to kill me.”

Riko would already be dead if he were easier to get to. And Nathaniel now has his father’s seat on the council, even if he killed for it - succession is muddy  and ugly amongst mages at the best of times. He’d hardly be the first to do it that way. 

He’s right. Andrew could use that. Getting into Castle Evermore is difficult, and Nathaniel has a free pass through the front gates. If he could smuggle Andrew inside…if he were willing to do so…

“What’s in it for you?” Andrew asks.

“What, you mean besides you not murdering me tonight and me getting out of this fucking house?” So sardonic. “I don’t like the Moriyamas any more than you do, Wesninski blood or no. I don’t care if I die, as long as Riko goes first.”

It seems their interests all line up. Andrew can deal with Riko at last, and might even get a shot at the other Moriyamas in the process. He smiles a little bit, feeling his face cracking.

“Well, Nathaniel. Looks like you might be useful to me after all.”

Wesninski makes a face. “I go by ‘Nate’.”

“I really don’t care,” Andrew tells him. “I would say ‘wait here’, but I suppose that’s irrelevant, isn’t it? I’ll come to you.”

The with a message or a knife is unspoken but clearly implied. Nathaniel - Nate - smiles thinly.

“Better hurry,” he says. “Offer ends if I’m dead.”

Things Bioware need to fix in Mass Effect Andromeda: SPOILER FREE!!

Hey guys. I’ve been playing the game since release and I’ve decided to write a list of all the things I think Bioware should improve upon in future Mass Effect: Andromeda updates. These are things that I think are reasonable that Bioware could improve upon that aren’t super intensive like changes to story or anything like that. I think the game is great and I’m loving it, it just needs some work to bring it up to standard.

Customisation:

- Add the ability to change complexion, brows, eye shape, nose shape, mouth shape.
- Add more skin tones.
- Add more detail to the eye textures. Characters with paler eyes look fake or scared. Inquisition did this really well so I’m not sure why it didn’t translate.
- The same for hair colours, the dyed ones are too fake looking and its alarming seeing it on npcs as well. Colour wheel for hair suggested by neednerdiness (link to come when i know what I’m doing lol)
- If custom Ryder is selected, Alec’s appearance should also be adjustable (ability to change his features or select default Alec). If not, Alec’s features should change depending on the changes the player makes to Ryder, not on what the preset looks like before changes.
- Change the opacity slider for makeup (to go darker) and add one for tattoos.
(And less likely but add more variation in tattoos and make-up instead of just the geometric/tribal ones.)
- Have unique hairstyles separate from npc hairstyles. This is one Bethesda are at fault for as well, its really disappointing and quite frankly very lazy.
- This ones just for me. I need more outfits, I need a dress! Please Bioware make it happen, I will pay for more clothes.
- The ability to change your appearance!!!! This is so important, it doesn’t have to be canon, it could be a final confirmation like in Fallout 4, or something like the Black Emporium dlc.

Gameplay

- Shorten travel times when viewing planets in a solar system. This does conflict with the real time view you see from the windows on the Tempest but I doubt many people leave the galaxy map when just scanning planets. It is tedious having to wait to arrive at each planet. They could do this by having a quick select for the nexus, aya and outpost planets.
- When returning to the Tempest it should remain on the planet/Nexus/etc until you select a new location on the galaxy map. This is so emails and crew can be checked for any new quests at that location and you don’t have to leave the planet and fly straight back.
- Party banter (and any other dialogue when travelling) frequently gets cut off when other dialogue is triggered to play. This needs to be changed so that one plays after the other to avoid overlapping or missing the first conversation altogether. Uncharted 4 does this really well.
- Every time you open the mining interface, SAM repeats the same dialogue about how you can mine in that area. Its annoying and unnecessary.
- When accepting rewards at the AVP Status Control, multiple awards should be condensed into one menu to save time.
- More skills for your squad! I’m on my first playthrough at 78% completion and my squad are maxed out.
- More Nexus levels! I’m at lvl 20 with -1,666 A.V.P. It would be great if I could unlock the rest of the pods.
- Remove already selected topics from the dialogue wheel. Suggested by stepp3nwolf.
- Better organisation of completed quests.
- Clearer way to compare armor and weapon stats to the ones currently equipped. Suggested by n7biotic.

General:

- Asari faces need more variation, currently it seems they all have the same face model as Lexi. Suggested by citadelsavior.
- The ability to skip the opening cutscenes.

I’ll be frequently updating this!

Caffeine Challenge #15

“It’s kind of like the Hangover,” Selene observes. She’s not even breathing hard, power walking down the hall of their hotel in heels like she does this every Friday night. “You know? That move with Zack Gal–”

“Oh - my - god,” Heather pants, fingers twisted tightly in the fabric of her skirt so that it doesn’t get caught under her wedges. “Oh god, we’re in a dude movie!”

At the head of the pack, Ryan stops, spinning on her stiletto to glare. She’s the only one in a dress short enough not to have to hold it and she puts her hands on her hips.

“We are not,” she hisses, “in a dude movie. This isn’t like the Hangover because we haven’t lost her!”

Heather and Selene look at each other and then back to Ryan. They’ve been following her lead all night, respecting her place as maid of honor, but Ryan knows it’s only a matter of time before that changes.

Witches don’t particularly like playing follow the leader.

“Well,” Selene says at last, “do we know where Kim is?”

“No,” Ryan says, “but–”

“Has she responded to any of our messages?” Heather asks.

Ryan pulls her phone out of her cleavage to check her messages and winces. “Well, no, but–”

“Does anyone remember what happened this afternoon?” Selene asks.

Heather wrinkles her nose. “There was a unicorn? I think? Or a donkey with a very convincing aura.”

Selene does jazz hands. “We lost the bride and we’re in the Hangover.”

Keep reading

Meeting In Secret // Kol Mikaelson // requested .part two

Request - kol mikaelson imagine where the reader is damon and stefans sister and they sneak out to see each other and one day elena catches them and tells damon nd they all turn against her and then when Jeremy kills him she tries to kill him and maybeyou can  use a lot of gifs too ???? sorry if its so long lol

Part One

Requests Are Open. xx

Originally posted by showandwrite

Originally posted by grustniyautist


The past month with the Mikaelsons have been a dream. You wouldn’t expect it, considering they’re the Original vampires but it has. Living with people other than my brothers felt so freeing. My whole life I bounced from Stefan to Damon. Now I’m finally out.

Keep reading

{Special}College!AU Wonho
  • major: anthropology
  • minor: archaeology 
  • sports: not on any teams even though every team keeps trying to recruit him. he just like works out every day @ the gym
  • clubs: he’s in three language clubs: spanish, hebrew, and japanese
  • wonho literally doesn’t spend any semester on campus, for the most part he studies abroad 
  • and like most people are like “oh, you’re going to spain or china right?” and wonho’s like “been there. im actually going to cyprus it’s this really small island-” and basically he’s never interested in visiting the big countries everyone’s always like so excited about. he always wants to go somewhere small, but with rich history. keeps begging the school to fund a trip to kuwait. 
  • has like ten piercings in each ear and tattoos done in every different country that he’s visited. when he was in japan he got a tebori tattoo (basically tattooing by hand without a machine) and by the end of it he was smiling and laughing and the tattoo artist was just like “this boy…….has the highest pain tolerance ive seen in anyone…….”
  • wonho really loves to live in the culture he’s studying rather than just read about it and what i mean by “live” can fall into the category of partying in that country with the college kids there and like wonho is no stranger to parties. when he is on campus (for like three weeks in the beginning of the semester) he’s literally invited to one every night
  • that might have to do with the fact that he’s considered one of the hottest guys on campus, and also one of the sweetest??? like first impression everyones like hmm jock but then wonho has like a flower tucked behind his ear that kihyun gave him and everyone’s like ok wait not not jock…..soft…..boy ……….which ON E
  • either way everyone loves him, at home or abroad LOL
  • and aside from partying he’s crazy about trying new foods, testing out his language skills on the locals, and of course visiting whatever sites there are to see and taking photos (his instagram? like 50 k followers and he’s literally just a kid in college L I KE )
  • his roommate hyungwon is always like ,,,,, dude you have so many damn souvenirs - like what even is that? and wonho’s like “oh that? that’s a wayang i got from jakarta, put down it’s fragile.” 
  • but it’s cute he brings hyungwon back books from all his travels since hyungwon’s a linguistics major and hyungwon lets wonho cover his side of the wall with maps of all the places he’s been
  • so like you actually don’t really know wonho. he’s in one of your philosophy classes which you have to take as a pre-req for another class and he isn’t there half the time and you’re too busy trying to keep up with the professor that you kinda just like you’re like not interested in the people around you
  • but when the professor announces that she’ll be offering a study abroad to West Bengal firstly you’re like LOL who has the money for that 
  • but one student seems extra excited and you GUESSED IT it’s wonho
  • and when you’re leaving the room, frantically trying to organize your folder for your next long lecture you feel someone tap your shoulder and you’re like ???/
  • and you look up and see this smiling boy and he’s like “are you gonna go on the study abroad??”
  • and you’re like what? the what? and he points over his shoulder to your classroom and he’s like “the study abroad, to West Bengal?” and you’re like sarcastically like hAHAHA yeah no i don’t have the money + i have three other super important classes. i can’t waste my time on that
  • and you don’t notice that the person who asks you is wonho the same way you haven’t noticed that for the past half a semester he’s been looking over at your side of the room
  • and he thinks you make the cutest facial expressions when you don’t get what the teacher means + he thinks that it’s cute when you pull the sleeves of your sweater over your hands because the AC in the room is on + he thinks you look cute coming in with coffee and bedhead because this CLASS is At 8:30 AM 
  • and tbh wonho has never really dated anyone for longer than a month because everyone he dates always restrains him from being curious and traveling but you,,,,, you seem so independent and even though your backpack is always overflowing with papers and you sometimes scribble into the margins of your notebook like 
  • it’s obvious to wonho that you have your priorities set straight, like you’re the only one even taking notes and you always rush out to get to your next class on time and wonho, like he really likes that about you
  • you, ofc, have no clue because you’re in a constant state of ‘oh my god i have a test in that class. oh my god i have work study at 4pm. oh my god i need to buy shampoo for the dorm after school’ and so dating? boys? NAH
  • but wonho ….. wonho becomes interested before he even knows it
  • and so when you go back to that class next week you sit down, take your notes out, take a sip of your coffee but then like 
  • you turn to the side and instead of the seat being empty like it usually is…..there is wonho
  • and he smiles at you and you’re like ?????? and he’s like “i can sit here, right?” and you’re like um….sure? and he’s like “thank you” and you just kinda look him over 
  • you see the ten piercings in his ear, the tattoos that go up his arm, the fact that he doesn’t even have a backpack and you’re like ? who is he
  • but like the teacher comes in and you try to find the page in your notebook with last weeks notes and you’re like here we go and as you’re re-reading you feel the boy scoot closer and you’re like “um?? do you have a question?”
  • and wonho looks up and he’s like “is it cool if i can see your notes, i just wanna make sure im keeping up?” and you kind of shift a bit awkwardly because again you don’t really know much past his name
  • but you don’t wanna be mean so you’re like ok, sure and so you move your book so he can see
  • and like he chuckles a bit and points to one of your doodles in the upper corner and he’s like ‘is that supposed to be the professor?’ and you’re like eEP what no,,,, and you snatch your book back and wonho is laughign into his palm like ‘that’s so cute!!!!’ and you’re like wihlgfdjfdw get your own notes bye
  • and you turn in your chair and wonho’s like still laughign to himself but he’s also like,,,,,,,,,in his head about you; ‘they’re,,,,,cute’
  • and tbh you think that’s the last time like it won’t happen again BUT GUESS WHO MOVES THEIR SEAT PERMANENTLY NEXT TO YOURS
  • and guess who keeps asking you if you’ve got anymore doodles to show him
  • and guess who compliments you on your keychains on your bag
  • and guess who says he’ll see you next week after class and waves
  • and guess who basically all of a sudden is getting really close and comfy with you
  • it’s WONHO 
  • and h o n e s  t ly like you don’t know how to reciprocate this attention because yes: you admit it, he’s cute and alluring and there is something about him that makes you want to ask questions and know more
  • but there’s also the fact that you’re busy and always stuck between school, work study, and whatever else is happening
  • and wonho is on this whole other wavelength of laid-back and you’re just like doing your best to get the top grades, work the most hours, and still get some damn sleep
  • like you and him are polar opposites and sometimes it just annoys you that he takes everything so easily
  • and when he comes into class one day, and starts telling you about this party he was at the other day you kinda just snap and get up and move to the other side of the room
  • because it’s like he’s distracting you and you don’t wanna listen to his crazy college life because you’re barely making it by
  • and wonho seems so shocked and you feel a little bad but in your head you’re like :this is for the best, he probably will forget about you completely 
  • but then you find yourself not seeing wonho in class for like three weeks and the teacher keeps bringing up that study abroad and you kinda know wonho was so into it, but you’re also like ??? it’s coming up but he’s not in class at all
  • and so finally you can’t believe it but curiosity gets the best of you and you find hyungwon in the library as per usual and you’re like,,,hey do you know this kid named wonho
  • and hyungwon snorts like “do i know him? i live with him.” and you’re like oH well….like is he sick??? and hyungwon raises an eyebrow like no? and you’re like ‘ah it’s just he….hasn’t shown up to class in a while so i was just you know, jsut,  you know…..”
  • hyungwon: worried?
  • you: NO it’s not like that
  • hyungwon: uhuh
  • you:…….anyway i gtg
  • and hyungwon before you leave is like ‘wonho works the night shift at the 7/11 outside of the campus. you can ask him why he’s been skipping there.’
  • and you’re like forget it,,,, like to yourself you’re like i dont need to be involved
  • BUT OFC MIDNIGHT COMES AROUND and you’re still up trying to cram in some studying when you’re like,,,,im hungry,,,,but your dormmate ate all the snacks and you’re like,,,,,,i could go to 7/11
  • and you try to convince yourself that no. you’re not going because you want to know about wonho. hey, you don’t even know if his shift is today right- right
  • but lbr the second you go in you look over at the cashier and WOW GuEss WHO
  • and you’re like ok ok don’t make eye contact just get your food and go, but once you bring everything up you hear the familiar laugh and wonho says your name and you’re like FRICK he knows and so you look up and he’s like
  • “what’s up?” and you’re like stuffing your hands into your hoodie looking away like “not much….” and you hand over how much you owe, but wonho swats your hand away and he’s like just take it and you’re like no take my money and he’s like seriously it’s fine
  • and you don’t know maybe it’s his niceness that gets you but you can’t hold back you’re like “why aren’t you coming to class.,…..” and wonho for the first time you see his smile falter
  • but he just sighs and he’s like “i work this job till 4 am, i just always end up oversleeping so….”
  • and you’re like “why’d you take an 8 am class than?” and he’s like “i got this job WHILE i was taking the class. i thought i’d be fine but,,,,”
  • and you’re like wait, what, how long have you been working here? and he’s like 3 weeks and your eyes widen and you’re like wHAT you just started here??? and wonho’s like “im saving up.” and you’re like “for the West Bengal trip?” and wonho grins like yep, but not for myself
  • and you’re looking at him puzzled and wonho’s like “are you that oblivious?” and you’re like what in the world
  • but then he’s leaning over the counter to gently kiss your lips and you damn near drop the can of coffee you’re holding and wonho pulls back and he’s like
  • “i already had enough to get a ticket for myself, i wanted to get one for you.”
  • and you’re like WOHA wAIT wHA T 
  • and wonho just grins that same grin and you’re like,,, you got a job??? for me??? someone you barely knew???
  • and wonho shrugs and he’s like “i kinda live on a motto that’s like do whatever you wanna do in the moment, and in that moment when you told me you didn’t have the money, i wanted to help you, i wanted to be there for you. even if we were strangers - i felt like this was something you deserved and ……here i am.”
  • and it takes you a second but you look at him and you can see he’s not lying and he’s being genuine 
  • and all of a sudden the guy you thought was kinda air-headed and too laid back for his own good becomes the kindest person you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and you can’t believe it but you just have to ask again
  • “wonho, do you like me?”
  • “i want to do everything for you. so i guess, yeah, i guess i do really like you.”
  • and that night you forget about your textbook still waiting for you at home, you spend the rest of his shift sitting behind the register with him, talking to each other on such a deep personal level
  • and when the sun starts coming up and wonho needs to close up the store, he offers to walk you back to your dorm first
  • and you two kiss again, you kiss twice, three times, four times
  • and both you and wonho are so struck by the feeling that the minute you get inside you already have a text on your phone from him that reads ‘i miss kissing you’
  • and like he doesn’t make it to class again, but you make sure to take extra careful notes and before you know it you’re compiling the ones you have to give to him 
  • and when you see him again at the 7/11 he perks up and you tell him that he doesn’t have to keep working here, it’s fine if you don’t go on the study abroad - but wonho insists and so you hand him the notes and he just
  • he tells you you didn’t have to but you’re like seriously it’s nothing compared to what you’re doing for me
  • and ofc you two kiss some more until a bunch of college kids come in to buy beer
  • but before you leave, wonho asks gently if you two can date
  • and you’re like “i thought that was pretty clear?” and wonho smiles and he’s like “i just wanted to hear you say you were mine.”
  • long story short wonho finishes working at the 7/11 and pays for your ticket to West Bengal and it’s a trip you never forget
  • mostly because holy hell India is a beautiful country and the history and culture is so rich but also
  • wonho is there, by your side
  • and he makes everything so much more enjoyable because he’s so adventurous and sweet and goes from wanting to share his food with you to carrying you in his arms when you’re tired from all the sightseeing to tucking your hair behind your ear while the professor is lecturing you guys in at a local landmark and like best boyfriend ever???
  • wonho so easily makes friends with a bunch of people your age there and you’re kinda shy so you hide behind his back but wonho always knows if you’re uncomfortable or not so he doesn’t push it too much
  • but he does bring you out of your shell and he does calm you down when you start frantically talking about all the classes you missed while you guys were on the abroad 
  • he’s just,,,,he’s like chamomile tea, calming but also so good you want more….LOL
  • when you guys get back to school, everyone knows you’re dating because wonho’s traveling instagram has basically become a couplestagram with photos of you two holding hands and you looking at menus or art pieces and all that jazz
  • shownu on one of your photos: congrats! cute couple 
  • kihyun on literally Every Photo: WONHO GET IT YOU TWO LOOK SO DIDDLY DARN CUTE WHEN WILL I FIND A ROMANCE LIKE THIS YOU TWO ARE THE !MODERN! LOVE! #COUPLE_GOALS
  • jooheon right under kihyuns comment: shut up 
  • but it’s like adorable because all his friends are so supportive because they were all like Will Wonho Ever Find the One since he spends so much time out of the country and things like that
  • but you, you love the fact that wonho loves to travel and is always somewhere new instead of trying to tie him down you’re just like “wonho - you want to do it? do it!”
  • the only time you ever like lecture him is when he starts slipping on his school work you’re just like heY HEY you have a test concentrate and wonho’s like usually i just wing it baby and you’re like no more winging on my watch - we are going to study and make flash cards
  • and wonho’s like giggling because you’re so smart he loves you so much and you’re like akhfew he’s so cute but also you’re like ‘translate this phrase from japanese for me - go’ 
  • and like whenever wonho does leave you guys skype and like facetime like seriously sometimes he forgets timezones exist so you’ll get a call at like 3 am and it’s wonho standing in front of a waterfall or an ancient ruin and he’s like 
  • throwing up the peace sign like “look!!!! so pretty!!! you’re prettier though, i miss you- can you kiss the camera for me?”
  • and you’re tired and you’re like sleep but you kiss the camera because it’s wonho and he’s cute and you love him and ofc
  • brings you back souvenirs that are always like interesting and hyungwon’s like get them like a necklace or something but you’re like no no no im ok with this mummified bug. it’s cool
  • wonho does this thing where he holds you around the waist while you two are like in line or something and he rocks you back and forth 
  • he loves talking against your ear while you’re trying to study because you get all blushy and pouty with him and he thinks it’s ADORABLE
  • he sleep talks in different languages and it’s so funny you always snapchat it to everyone else in monsta x
  • the first time you stayed the night like it was after wonho got home from a trip with his archeology class and like it wasn’t that long, nothing like an abroad study, it was more like a three day workshop but it was during a time when you had so much on your plate
  • and when he got back you came over and hyungwon opened the door and was like “whats up-” but you were like ‘hyungwon, here’s 10 bucks go to the library or something and come back in like 3 hours’ and hyungwon was like wh- and then he wasl ike OH OK IM OUT
  • and basically wonho was like “hey, ive miss-” but you just started making out with him and you were like ‘ive been so stressed this whole time and you weren’t here so please, make up for it.
  • IF YOU know what i mean (-:
  • and wonho,,,,,oh wonho,,,,,,,,languages isn’t the only thing he’s good at.,,,,,like with his mouth OK ANWYAY ….
  • you’re like sitting in his bed with him, wearing his shirt and typing some stuff on his laptop for another class and he’s like how are you not tired??? and you’re like i have lost the ability to be tired, this is college
  • wonho actually has started writing his thesis and he’s actually so shy about showing it to anyone, but he opens up to you and when you read the first draft you’re like
  • ,,,,,wonho holy shit you’re so eloquent and ??? well written
  • and he’s blushing like oh stop don’t compliment me,,,,
  • hyungwon from somewhere: aCtually, his grammar isn’t that-
  • you: let’s fight pepe boy
  • you like know that wonho has a good body and whatnot but you see how shy he gets about it when people like ask him and so you always step in and get him out of awkward situations and he’s like il ove you so much and you’re like me too!!! also if someone asks you to flash your abs one more time i will personally dunk their head into the campus water fountain
  • wonho teaching you cool little phrases he learns when he’s abroad
  • wonho biting your neck playfully and changkhyun being like ew. im out
  • ok but also wonho has all these piercings and tats and you’re like sitting there in a big sweater and it’s cute everyone’s like…This Dynamic is Pure

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here)

find college!woozi (here),  college!wonwoo (here)college!seunghceol(here), college!seokmin (here) , college!jun (here) college!mingyu (here), college!jeonghan (here), college!hoshi (here), college!joshua (here) & college!the8 (here

find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here) college!youngjae (here)

and please look forward to more college!seventeen + special college!aus

The Joker x Reader - “Broken”

After you got shot in the head you were in a coma for a while. When you woke up you were quite broken and The Joker doesn’t like broken things. Getting rid of you seems like the perfect solution.

The Joker immediately turned when he heard the gunshot. You felt the sharp pain for a split second before you blacked out. J opened his mouth in disbelief, wanting to say something but for once he was speechless. He just stood there, stunned, watching Frost as he killed the security guard being heroic enough to attempt a small rebellion on his own.

“WHAT…THE FUCK??!!” The Joker’s voice finally echoed in the building while stomping towards you. Some of the hostages on the floor whimpered in fear, knowing that it won’t end well after what just happened.

“I thought you were watching everybody!” he pointed at his henchmen, mad as hell, kneeling so that he can turn you around. J saw the nasty bleeding head wound and he lost it:

“Kill everybody!! NOW!!!!” He lifted you and your arms went limp, hanging down on the sides of your body. “God dammit! Frost, let’s go, you drive!!” Blood started soaking his purple coat and he squeezed you closer to him, trying to wake you up.

“Hey, Princess, open your eyes! Open your eyes!“ No answer came and he took a deep breath, grinding his teeth, not even discerning the screams coming from the slaughter happening behind him.

He got in the back of the van with you and realized he wasn’t even wearing a shirt that night.

“Frost, give me your jacket!” he impatiently demanded and wrapped it around your head as soon as he got it. Jonny started driving and the Joker kept on wiping the blood off your face with his bare hands, not realizing he got all over his cheeks and hair too. “Baby doll, can you hear me? Don’t make Daddy mad; open your eyes, hm?”  he kept on trying to reason with you, nervously biting his lips.

“Where to, Boss?” Frost shouted, driving so fast he was afraid he will get unwanted attention, the last thing that was needed that night.

“Our doctor, Frosty, where else???!! “ The Joker snapped back at him, irritated about the question. “I don’t care who else we need to get, I want her fixed!… I don’t like…b-broken things…” he muttered the last words to himself, stammering with anxiety, still trying to clean you up.

*** You were in surgery for 10 hours. It was a clean wound, the bullet wasn’t inside: it pierced the left side of your head, above your ear, slightly under the skin surface which was very lucky but still created quite a lot of damage and brain hemorrhage. The best doctors that Gotham’s underworld uses were brought in to help you. J didn’t care about the money they asked or the supplies needed. What was he going to do with all his possessions if his Queen was dead?  It wouldn’t matter, it would be no fun.

The Joker was told there was no way to know when you will wake up or if there will be any nerve damage following your recovery. They didn’t have the courage to tell him you might never wake up. Afterwards, you were taken to the penthouse and one of the spare bedrooms was transformed into your own medical ward. The doctors took turns in coming and checking up on you, changing your bandages, updating your IV medications and the blood tests were coming back pretty good, except for the fact that you wouldn’t wake up.

Since J couldn’t sleep without you, he moved the bed in the master bedroom to your room, this way he could at least doze off for a few hours. All those beeping noises from those machines you were hooked at annoyed him to death but he learned to ignore them after a few days.

The Joker talked to you all the time, sometimes falling asleep waiting for an answer that never came. Most of the times he was answering for you.

* “Hey, Y/N, do you remember when you told me you were pregnant and I panicked, almost pushed you off the balcony? Lucky you told me you were joking before I did it, huh? “ and he started laughing maniacally, ending it with a deep growl, pleased at the memory. “Good times, Doll…”

* “Oh my God, I’m so bored!” He would roll his blue eyes in your face.” Would you wake up, Pumpkin? Let’s have some fun, I’ll take you for a ride. Wanna blow up something? Hmmm? Deal?” J cupped your face, caressing it with his thumbs until he got fed up with that too. “Jeez, Doll, why are you doing this to me?” he would finally rest his head on your tummy, pouting, not liking the fact that you were still like that after 3 weeks.

* “Princess, do you remember when I got angry and I shot you in the leg and you stabbed me? You were soooo pissed,” he snickered, kissing your hand. “We almost killed each other that day.” His crazy laughter filled the room again. “Ahhhh, good times, Doll…” he sighed, delighted at that treasured remembrance.

* J thought you need more tattoos, it was about time he gave you another one. He tattooed “Wake Up” all around your right hand wrist, like a bracelet, and a lot of “I love J” and “Sleepy Head” going up your arm just like bracelet charms . “You like it, Pumpkin?” he brought it closer to your face and when you didn’t react he just replied, proud of himself: “I think I did really good.”

* He pushed the girl he brought from the club inside and she was so scared she was shaking like a leaf.

“ Y/N, if you don’t wake up in 5 seconds, I’m getting a new girlfriend!” J shove her right on your bed. “ 5,4,3,2… 2 and a half…1…one and a half…Doll, come on!!!… Zero!”  Nothing. “Get the hell out of here!” he pushed the girl and she run out of the room so fast she almost fell when she opened the door. “Shit, that didn’t work,” he passed his fingers through his green hair, sulking. Another week went by.

* The Joker brought in a target matt and hanged it on the wall in front of you. He liked to place his gun in your hand, holding it with his, aim and shoot at the target. “Perfect, Y/N, this way you don’t lose practice. You’re such a good girl,” he would kiss your knuckles, smiling and then frowning when he realized you didn’t even know he was there.

* First time you opened your eyes was after 4 more weeks. It was late at night and J was on his laptop,still awake, looking at all the naughty pics you always sent him. He noticed the movement and jumped out of bed, not really believing you’re awake.

“Jesus, Princess, it was about time! I’m sooo horny,” he whispered in your ear and grinned when he noticed your chest going up and down in a silent, faint laughter.

“…My… poor… baby…” you barely uttered, struggling to reach his pale face and he purred, relieved, firmly holding your shaky fingers on his cheek since you couldn’t do it on your own. “…What…happened?…”

*************************

At first, you had a really hard time using your left side of the body. You had bad days and good days. On your bad days you used one of J’s canes to walk around. He used to hide it and watch you struggle, scoffing:

“You don’t need a cane, Doll. Just walk, you’re fine!”

You held on to the wall, fighting really hard to keep your balance.

“I do need it, give it back!”

“Nope,” he simply stated, observing you from the couch until you got to your old room where he still kept the target matt so you can practice shooting again. It almost brought you to tears when you kept on missing; such an embarrassment for a skilled assassin. But it was so hard to control your left hand that kept on trembling. The Joker always sneaked to watch you since you kept the door opened and it made him uneasy to see you were so distressed. And it made him even tenser when he noticed he still liked his broken Doll.

First time you were able to have sex again after your recovery was… challenging. (And to be honest, many more times afterwards.)

He started complaining after 5 minutes :

“Christ, Y/N, your hand is twitching around my neck, it’s freaking me out! Stop it!” and he kissed you again, annoyed.

“Well, baby, I can’t control it, you know that! Especially when I get…excited,” you panted, adjusting your head on the pillow.

“Why are you excited?” J snickered. “Hey, keep your legs around my waist, you know I like it,” he moaned in your ear, kissing his way down your neck.

“I can’t, my left leg keeps on sliding down, I can’t even feel it anymore. I’m sorry, baby,” you arched your back, giggling, amused on how worked up he was about it.

“Can you get on your knees, Doll?”

“I doubt it,” you fakely sobbed, wanting him to shut up and make love to you.

“Can you get on top of me?”

A snarl coming from you gave him the answer.

“Can we do it against the wall?”

You slapped his side, aggravated.

“Jeez, woman, what can you do?!” You covered his mouth, impatient.

“I’m just gonna lay here, ok? That’s all I can offer for now. I’m…helpless so you can totally take advantage of me,” you winked, uncovering his lips so you can kiss him.

“Hmm, I never took advantage of a …ummm…incapacitated person before,” The Joker smirked, suddenly liking the idea.

“Good, because I thought you like challenges,” you laughed, content he is finally satisfied.

“Ohhh, Daddy never backs out from a challenge, Pumpkin,” he gave you that devilish look and pulled your hair while pinning your hands above your head. “This way you don’t freak me out with your twitchy hand.”

“Jerk…” you moaned, lifting your head so you can kiss his Jester tattoo.

“You wait until you see what Daddy has in store for you and then we’ll talk about it…yes?” he closed his eyes, enjoying feeling you again. It made him so ecstatic.

************************

After 3 more months you are better, but not fully recovered.

He tosses his gun on the floor and urges you to get it.

“Come on, Princess, be sexy for me. Bend over and grab that gun! I’ll pay you!” and he pushes the pile of hundred dollars from his desk on the floor.
“Are you serious?” you lift your gaze from your phone, not knowing if he meant it or not. You’ve been fighting a lot recently and his behavior towards you changed.

“Yes, do it,” he hums, putting the map aside and rolling away on his chair so he can see you better.

“ ‘Kaaayyyy,” you do as asked, and half way through your left leg gives out and you land on your knees.

“Wow, that’s pathetic!” he hisses, and you feel your face burning. “Seriously, I don’t even know why I keep you around: you’re crippled, you can’t kill for me, you’re not great in bed anymore and I’m sick of waiting for you to recover. As you are fully aware, I don’t like broken things, hence it’s time for you to go,” J barks at you and you just watch him, stunned.

“W-what are you talking about?! I’m so much better and I am getting better. I AM NOT crippled!” you almost yell, struggling to get on your feet, not understanding what’s going on.

“You’re useless, that’s what you are!” The Joker raises his voice, having a hard time controlling his temper. “I want you out of here!”

“Are you serious?!” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows, thinking about his cold behavior lately. That’s why, he’s just sick of you.   “After…all these years?”

He sarcastically grunts, crossing his arms on his chest:

“Is that supposed to mean anything to me?! OUT! Don’t make me repeat myself; you can stay tonight so you can sort out the things you want to take.”

“I…I don’t need anything, I have my own stuff,” you reply, backing out slowly, trying to swallow the lump in your throat and maintain your equilibrium.

“God, you’re soooo pitiful, still can’t control your body. How am I even supposed to be with someone like you?! The King of Gotham needs perfection, not trash.”

You gasp, feeling your heart beating faster and faster.

“I am the Queen of Gotham, with or without you, not trash!”  

“Used to be Queen, Doll, now look at you: just another lost cause. Don’t test my patience, get out of here.” He points out towards the elevator.  “ Awwww, are those tears? You never cry. I told you you’re pathetic and broken, this proves what I just said.”

You shake your head, turning around and limping towards the elevator, tripping on the carpet because your bad leg is misbehaving. You hear him laugh:
“Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! So useless!”

You swallow your tears all the way down when your cell rings. You see it’s your informant and you answer right away:

“When Mister J is going to his “Savage” club tonight, it will be an ambush: Sully’s men; they’ll try to kill him. Pass the word.”

“Thank you, Axel,” you mumble, turning off your phone and placing back in your pocket.

I am not telling him anything, the jerk deserves anything coming his way! You decide as you reach the basement’s garage and the elevator’s door open. Let them kill him.

****************************

First thing you do when you get to your apartment is wash away the neon green highlights from your bright red hair. It makes you feel better until the little thoughts pop in your mind: “Are you going to let them kill him?”, “Yes, I don’t care.” “But…it’s J.” “I really don’t care; his men can protect him if they can.” “But…it’s J.”

“Ughhhh,” you cover your face with the small pillow, attempting to erase any feelings you might have from your conscience. “But…it’s J…Come on, it’s J…” the idea keeps on repeating and echoing in your mind until you get up from the loveseat, exasperated.

“Shit, fine, I’m going, just shut the hell up!” you admonish yourself, looking in the mirror. “The asshole doesn’t deserve me…” you conclude, getting the duffle bag with your rifle out of the closet.

************************

You go and place yourself on the top of the tallest building, about half a mile away from “Savage”. You watch everything through the scope, but so far nothing out of place. Your left hand is shaky again and you put so much effort into controlling it you’re starting to sweat. “Not now, please” you reason with your weak side of the body, cracking your neck. Another two hours pass by and you finally see The Joker’s Lamborghini approaching followed by 3 SUV’s.

You wipe your forehead and concentrate more, looking around carefully as he parks and gets out of the car. Suddenly, you see the four men in black suits, wearing running shoes and you know it’s them: Sully’s men trademark attire. They approach from different angles and you wait until they are fairly close to the Joker and his henchmen. They noticed the assassins too and surrounded J, protecting him. He takes out his gun, waiting, and he watches as suddenly one by one they fall to the ground, their brains splattered on the concrete.

He lifts his eyes, searching the buildings around as his goons get him to his car so he can safely leave. Three more assassins start running towards his Lamborghini and you shot again, the last one collapsing right in front of the Joker’s car. He looks up, but he sure doesn’t have the right building you’re on top of. He knows it’s you and bites on his cheek, growling, taking off with his men before the cops show up.

You wipe your forehead, exhausted, resting your head on the trigger:

“I’m not pathetic and broken.”     Did you want to prove that to him or yourself? Probably both.

****************************

J drove straight back to the penthouse, laying low for the rest of the night. He gets in bed, trying to sleep and can’t because you’re not there. He looks at your empty side of the bed and moves over, burring his face in your pillow-it smells like you. Another hour and he’s still awake, tossing and turning.

“I don’t like broken things,” he whispers, opening his eyes just to see your items scattered all over the bedroom since you didn’t take anything with you. It really makes uncomfortable realizing he feels the exact opposite of not liking you. Or so he believes.

“I really don’t like broken things,” he gets mad, exasperated, forcing himself not to think of anything.

*****************************

The sound of your cane hitting the wood floor startles you and you wake up, leaning over so you can reach and turn on the lamp. You see The Joker kicking it again, and again.

“Stupid piece of crap!” he shouts, his green hair all over his face.

“What are you doing here?!” you rub your eyes, not glad to see him at all. “Get out!”

He just comes over and yanks at your hand:

“Let’s go, Doll, you’re coming back, I can’t sleep without you.”

“Screw you!” you pull back, upset he broke into your apartment and has the nerve to act like nothing happened.

“Yes, you can do that too, you naughty girl, I know you can’t wait,” he tries to yank you away again.

The evil glare you give him makes him stop and he regains his posture, sighing:

“You’re coming back; you know I can’t sleep without you.”

“I don’t care!!!!” you cover your body with the blanket like it’s going to help any. He sees your watery eyes and decides to drop it.

“Fine, then I’ll sleep here.” He goes around the bed and gets under the blanket, scooting over so he can be close to you. “Now shut up, I have to sleep, I’m tired as hell!” He places his head on your pillow, waiting for you to get down and join him. You watch him with indignation, sniffling, and kick him:

“Get out of my apartment!”

The Joker ignores your behavior and decides to talk with his eyes closed:

“I don’t like broken things…”
“I’m not a broken thing you presumptuous …” you start your rant, getting ready to kick him again when he interrupts:

“…but you’re my favorite thing. Good, I thought that would shut you up,” he grins, forcefully pulling you in his arms as you struggle to escape. “Ahhhhh, I like it when you’re feisty. Queens are feisty…” he nuzzles in your hair for a few seconds then pecs your lips and holds you tighter. “Don’t think I didn’t notice your green highlights are gone. They’ll be back first thing in the morning, got it?”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” you try to make a comeback but he cuts you short again:

“The hell I can’t! Now shut up, I’m so worn out,” he gets your left leg around his waist and holds it, this way you’re glued to him. “There, I know you can’t hold it yourself.”

When you don’t answer he opens one eye and sees you stare at him with that hurt expression on your face that makes him uneasy.

“Stop it, Pumpkin, I really need to rest,” J kisses your forehead and you whimper, upset:

“You’re such a jerk.”

“Pffft,” he scoffs, “is that supposed to be news to me? Now zip it and I mean it,” he scolds you, annoyed.

“Jerk…” you faintly mumble before closing your eyes.

He just smiles, knowing he will finally be able to doze off.

Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

Fatale: Black Lace (two)

Genre: Starts with some cute fluff then it is smut, smut, nasty smut.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin, Minjoon

Count: 10,744

Summary: CEO!Namjoon comes home from a long day of work only to find that his Baby Boy has disobeyed his instructions from earlier that day. He doesn’t hesitate to punish Journalist!Jimin to remind him who is in control.

A/N: Thank you again to my one and only @bxebxee!!! I love her to the moon and back for giving me so much advice <3 Please read her works if you have the chance.

Fatale: Black Lace (one) | (interlude) | (two)

Also posted on ao3!

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

Jimin ran his hands roughly through his hair as he pressed the backspace for the nth time today, frustrated at the lack of inspiration for his upcoming article. “The Mins to Expand Corporate Power through Political Marriage?” The title seemed too wordy to effectively grab a potential reader’s attention.  He had finally landed his first contracted project for the Seoul Times and was eager to show his employer his capabilities of writing full time. Desperate to leave his freelancing days behind, Jimin cursed at his unfocused state as he sighed and threw his head backwards. Deciding that he probably needed some fresh air to clear his clouded mind, Jimin grabbed his phone from the table while closing the lid of his glaring laptop screen. Jimin pulled the thick wool of Namjoon’s two-sizes-too-big sweater over his head and headed towards the balcony.

Keep reading

UPDATED: KID FICS
Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the Street.Louis might have a problem.
Said problem lies entirely in the fact that he can’t seem to avoid Harry Styles, The Ex-Boyfriend That Broke His Heart and World Famous Popstar Sensation. Everything is only made more complicated by the fact that he doesn’t really want to avoid Harry either, even though they’re supposed to mean nothing to each other.
Another tiny problem may also be that Harry has no idea that Louis has a daughter now.
Yeah, he’s screwed.Louis runs a record label and Harry is his daughter’s new nanny. Over the course of a year, Harry helps Louis learn what it really is to be a father and somehow they find an unexpected home in each other.
Or, the kid fic where Louis wants to make Harry a star, Zayn just needs everyone to stop being stupid, Niall laughs his arse off at everything, Liam attempts to keep things in order and Harry takes a chance.When Harry’s son came home from school crying he didn’t think things could get any worse. Lucky for them, things were just about to change for the best.
or
Harry’s son get bullied until Louis’ son shows up :)the one where Louis’ pretty sure he’s already loved and lost his soulmate, and then he meets Harry.the one where Louis’s a dad in desperate need for a new nanny. Harry’s perfect for the job.the one where punk Louis likes to think he’s not clumsy, but he suspects he’ll have to accept it when he falls face first into a relationship with a head full of curls and his tiny human.harry is a photographer who’s trying to find his place. louis is a single father with a smile that feels like home.Louis never intended to fall in love with Harry: not five years into their time together in the band, not when they’re living on opposite continents, and especially not when he’s the new dad to a tiny human with way too much personality for anyone under nine pounds. Yet somehow Harry manages to worm his way into Louis’ life with every bit of weird affinity for Swedish homegoods and expensive baby clothes that you’d expect.Harry and Louis are separated, but for the sake of their two sons, they choose to spend Christmas together. It may just lead to a Christmas miracle.Harry’s near fatal accident exposed the cracks in his and Louis’ eleven year marriage. A serious error in judgement by Louis shattered it completely.Louis and Harry have been divorced for almost a year and apart for nearly three. On the paperwork, it says the grounds for their divorce were living apart for more than two years, but there’s more, that’s only what they’ll admit out loud.
Louis didn’t want to agree and sign the paperwork. He wanted to fight but he couldn’t confront the real reason for their divorce and a Harry who seemed so apathetic. Yet now that one of their children is sick, they’ll have to put their insecurities aside.au where harry plays rugby at uni, louis needs to hire a nanny, and life is one big cliche.At the age of twenty, Harry deals with things expected to occur at his age: student loans, instant meals, electricity bills, and the constant, incessant presence of never ending coursework.
That, and the job of raising his six year old daughter and avoiding the charm of a young, successful, and very off-limits Louis Tomlinson.“So let me get this straight. You took Mr. Squiggles from the classroom habitat, took him with you on your fieldtrip to the zoo, and released him in the aviary?”
Harry Styles is a single father, just trying to keep his life organized after losing his husband four years earlier. Between his daughter, Liam’s hellion twins, and Sophia throwing him into any romantic tangle she can think of, life gets a little crazy. Of course, everything changes the moment Lo and the twins get interested in their school musical, The Wizard of Oz. Because the new director, Louis Tomlinson, is just about the most attractive man that Harry has ever seen.
Featuring adorable Dad Harry, hotshot actor Louis, three sassy kids, a badass Sophia Smith, and a Liam who just wants all their kids to be well behaved.Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.Harry is just trying to figure it all out and Louis is just the person to help him do that.Louis has a 3 year old son and works at a daycare while getting his education degree.
Harry’s a fresh face Popstar with the world in his hands.
They meet over applesauce and hide n’ go seek.
Off His Rocker

Luggage Swap AU

The fuck is this?!

Staring at the contents of the suitcase that is unquestionably not his, Trafalgar D. Water Law grimaces, palm pressing into the side of his face and slowly running down from his temples to his chin.

This is bullshit, what the hell?!

Keep reading

The Mind Cage - Epilogue

Title: The Mind Cage
Summary: In another world, Stanford Pines places a metal plate in his skull far too soon. In another world, Bill Cipher is in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Characters: Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Stan Pines, Fiddleford McGucket
Rating: T
COMPLETE.
Click here for the first chapter, warnings and links to all chapters up so far.

A/N:  And here’s the epilogue - if you read the Journal, you’ll definitely know which scenario it’s based on!
(If you haven’t: it’s from a parallel reality where Stan left with Jornal 1 when told to, Ford reconnected with McGucket and together they made interdimensional travel possible without allowing Bill access to their world. Happy ending for everyone… except Stan, clearly. So I had to fix that.)

***

The Astonishing Anomalies of Gravity Falls

Fiddleford H. McGucket, PhD
Stanford F. Pines, PhD

– To Stanley Pines, without whom none of this would have seen the light of day.

Introduction

Nikola Tesla once said that the history of science shows that theories are perishable; with every new truth that is revealed, we get a better understanding of Nature and our conceptions and views are modified.

Much of what is written in this paper defies what most believe to be real; research on the cause of these phenomena is still ongoing. Only by keeping an open mind on the scientific evidence presented in this work, and abandoning all preconceptions…

***

Stan had seen it coming from a mile away.

Keep reading

Must-Read Larry Fics

It’s come to my attention that certain people I know have not read some of these, so I am compiling a list of my Must-Read Larry Fics for your reading pleasure.

1. Relief Next To Me by Dolce_Piccante 

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

2. Young & Beauitful by Velvetoscar

Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

3. And Then A Bit by Infinitelymint 

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

4. Nothing Else But Us Right Here by Supernope

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

5. Wild and Unruly by 100percentsassy and Gloria_andrews

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

6. Led By Your Beating Heart by Missandrogyny 

Nick leans over. “Oh,” he says, his voice smug. “Who is that?”

Harry just blinks at his phone. “Um,” he manages to stammer out.

“Who’s that, Harry?” Nick asks again, but this time he raises his eyebrows and smirks. Harry knows Nick is just teasing, and that he’s not really looking for new Harry Styles gossip, but, um. He might have found something. Accidentally.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is another ‘um’. He really needs to work on translating his thoughts into words. But then it probably wouldn’t be any helpful right now, would it? His mind is as blank as a newly erased etch-a-sketch.

“Oh,” Nick says again, this time gleefully, seemingly having picked up on Harry’s distress. “Looks like we’ve got a story here! Are you going to call or delete her number?”

Her number. So Nick thinks it’s a girl. Well, Harry can’t blame him: 'Lou’ is kind of an androgynous nickname. His stylist’s name is Lou.

But this Lou, well, Louis, he’s kind of, really, really not a girl. He’s really pretty though, which, is something.

(Or: AU where Harry’s in One Direction, Louis isn’t, and they reconnect over a game of 'Call or Delete’.)

7. Have You Coming Back Again by Whoknows

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym.

Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain.

Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all.

He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

8. Let Me Make A Thing Of Cream And Stars by Miss androgyny 

It doesn’t explain why he’s lying on the floor, with Harry Styles, of all people, planking on top of him.

As in, seventeenth most influential person in London, pop-star-turned-rock-star Harry Styles. The same Harry Styles who has had countless model girlfriends, left, right and centre. Also the same Harry Styles who has been the subject of Louis’ wet dreams since he was about eighteen.

(Or: Louis is a Radio 1 DJ and Harry is a pop-star he interviews.)

9. Let’s Talk About Making Love by istajmaal 

That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he’s Daddy.

10. Give Me Truths by Iwillpaingasongforlou

'Just like a little cat,’ Louis thought later, as he drifted off to sleep. 'A little kitten with his claws sunk right into me.’ It isn’t that terrible of a thought, after all.
………….
Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.

Or, the one in which Louis falls in love with a fragile boy and tells him every beautiful truth in the world, as long as it makes him happy.

11. Put It All On Me by Loadedgun

“Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that’s it, spread your legs a bit, there you go.”

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn’t work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he’s a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it’s Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain’s Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

12. Want You More Than A by Thecellardoor

Falling in love with your step-brother’s best friend is a disaster enough. When he happens to be the boy everyone loves and you’re a nerd who wears sweater vests and cries during rom-coms, it takes it to a whole new level.

13. Loving You Is Free by Littlelouishiccups

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn’t been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

14. Always Come Back To You by Whoknows

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

15. Speaking Of Marvels by Navigator and Quitter

AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors’ son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

Okay, this is getting long af so I’ll leave it there BUT THERE ARE SO MANY MORE!!! READ READ READ!! I MEAN IT!

What Do You Do: ICU Nursing, Hour One

I’m an RN in a 18-bed Med/Surg ICU. Intensive Care units are for the sickest patients in the hospital.  You get sicker than we can handle the only step up is to meet your Maker or have said Maker do a miracle.

This is our Mantra:

We care for people in Septic Shock, with CVAs, DKA, decompensated heart failure, post cardiac arrest, COPD exacerbation, ARDS, drug overdose, and the post-ops of every discipline (except the open hearts who have their own CVICU).  We manage treatment modalities like CRRT (continuous dialysis), hypothermia protocol, and LV assist devices like the Impella and balloon pump. Highly technical and lots of variety, which is what attracted me here.

I originally was going to write about an entire shift in the ICU but found that the first hour of a recent shift gave a decent representation of what we do. Not terribly eventful or comprehensive, just typical. 

Hour One went as follows:

I walk on the unit for the first of my three 12 hours shifts.  Check the board for my two assigned patients, find the nurse who had them for the day and plop down next to her.  Yes, only three shifts, and yes, only two patients.  Trust me, it’s enough.   

The “Day Babe,” as we night shift nurses affectionately call day nurses (do they have a name for us?  The walking dead……) fills me in on each patient: history, hospital course, treatments, status of each body system.  I fill out all the little boxes on my report sheet in an attempt to grasp an entire patient’s health and plan of care in less than five minutes in a way that somehow qualifies me to be responsible for them.  It’s always astounded me how short, random, and unregulated this process is.

Hemodynamic monitors placed around the unit display heart rhythms and vital signs on each patient. They alarm and flash with increasing levels of dismay when something is out of range. This varies from little peeps and flashes for something minor (O2 sat probe is off) to the From Hell noise that awakens your hindbrain to mortal danger (your patient’s heart has stopped beating.) 

Both of my patients have heart rhythms that are compatible with life and no alarms.  Yay. I fill out a quick little schedule for myself for each patient and then go to see the sicker one first.

Originally posted by otakutreasure

Patient One:  Small bowel obstruction status post Exploratory Lap, went into respiratory failure on the hospital floor after developing pneumonia. Came up to us to be intubated, diuresed, and get IV antibiotics until the invading organisms are killed to death.  She’s in septic shock on several pressors, Cardizem and heparin drips for AFib, fentanyl for sedation.

I assess her, making the million little observations that tell me if she is really doing as well as the monitor might lead me to believe. Vital signs can be very deceiving, nowhere more than ICU.  Lung/heart/bowel sounds, ET/OG tubes, pupils, hand grips, pulses, skin integrity, IV access.

She’s severely edematous. Her flesh puckers under my finger like that green brick material flowers are arranged in.   I wonder what she does for a living, if she has kids, pets, if she’s married?  Read any good books lately? Details of personal life are UTA (Unable to Assess) when the person is I&S (Intubated and Sedated) and there’s no family around.

I ensure all her drips are running correctly and calibrate the arterial line, which tells me her MAP is 68.  Beautiful. Only as much Levophed as she needs, no necrotic fingers and toes for her. She looks good. Stable-ly unstable, we call them, when their vitals are normalized on medicated drips.

Patient Two:  Older gentlemen, VFib arrest, visited the Cath lab for a variety of stents then hypothermia protocol.   He’s past all that now and has just been extubated.  The day nurse told me he looked good respiratory-wise.  I don’t agree. 

He’s tachypnic taking shallow breaths. Weak cough that isn’t getting the job done.  He’ll be reintubated within 12 hours if he keeps this up.  I call my friends in Respiratory Therapy for ENT suction.  It helps, but he HATES it. He asks me why I like to torture him.  I tell him that I don’t, that I’m trying to get him better.  He scowls. He’s over it.  I don’t blame him.

The rest of his assessment is WNL, and that’s not “We Never Looked,”  it’s “Within Normal Limits.” Because I looked.   Except…….I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t move his left side as much as his right, and his hand grip on that side is just a tiny bit weaker.  Am I imagining it?  His pupils both react to light but don’t look exactly the same…..and he’s not really answering my questions. He’s probably just being difficult….right?

Come on man, don’t do that.  Let’s not take an emergent trip to CT and do TPA protocol right now.  Fast as I can, track down the NP.  He has a history of right CVA with residual left-sided weakness.  The day nurse didn’t tell me that in report. 

I push some IV hydralazine for his BP of 180/70.  He asks for a beer.  I feel foolish for worrying about him so much a few minutes ago. 

The hydralazine helps for only a few minutes so I chase it with 5mg of metoprolol, pushed over two minutes because I don’t want to stop his heart, just slow it down.  I make peace with the fact that I’m going to be chasing his BP with IV meds all night long.

I set the bed alarm.  Dude’s awake now and I don’t trust him, even as weak as he looks.  You know how 100 lb. moms can lift cars when their kids are in danger?  Elderly patients can do astounding things when the delerium sets in.

Overall a pretty easy ICU assignment.

I leave his room and hear a plea for help from a nurse at the end of the hall.

I know this patient, Heroin OD.  Tattoos everywhere.   When I say everywhere I mean it.  Many of the nurses had speculated about whether or not certain tattoos look differently when certain body parts were in certain anatomical configurations. If you know what I mean.  If you don’t, don’t think about it too much.  

We don’t mean to belittle people or treat them as objects.  We can’t help but think these things.

The nurse called for help because he’s been on tube feeding for over a week and his Dignicare fell out.  You can imagine the consequences.  If you can’t imagine them because you don’t know what a Dignicare is don’t worry about it, innocence being bliss and all.  I help her get things straightened out. She grateful.  I promise to help her with his bath later. He’s a big dude.

Quick stop at the Accudose, grab my meds and waste Versed and Fentanyl for another nurse.  We chat and make fun of the NP who’s working on the other side of the glass, not noticing us.  We’ll tell him about it later.

I give Patient One’s meds after deciding that they’re all safe and appropriate for her.  A few IV pushes, hang an IV antibiotic, crush up the pills, mix them in some water, flush down the OG tube. 

I most definitely never pretend I’m a wizard making a magic healing potion when I do this. That would be childish and I’m a professional.

Originally posted by geekhistorylesson

Her MAP is 64.  Borderline but I’ll ride that out another 10 minutes before titrating her Levophed; you learn after a while not to micromanage your pressors……

Then the monitor starts alarming THAT alarm, the hindbrain one.  Bed 24, and judging from the trace on the monitor it’s legit VTach.  I start to run to the room but two steps in the alarm stops.  Just a run of VT, not sustained, 20 beats or so. 

I grab the rhythm strip that’s printing out and go to the room to give it to the nurse, a friend of mine who just got back from maternity leave.  She turns to me and takes the strip. 

I don’t know this patient.  Septic on CRRT, came in yesterday.

  “She looks like shit, ” my friend says.  She does indeed.

Now that’s not some random or insensitive insult.  It’s a thing we ICU nurses say when we get that vague unsettling feeling in our perceptive gut that even though this patient looks okay on paper or computer screen they’re going to go downhill, soon. And now here she comes with the increasingly-long runs of VT.

“I told them,” she says, shaking her head.  I tell her to let me know if she needs anything, I have my unit phone. 

Then I go get a unit phone and sign into it since I forgot to do it earlier. My manager runs a report every week that tells her when we forget to sign into a phone within five minutes of starting our shift. I’ll get a strongly-worded email.

Check the monitor, Patient One, MAP 72. Hah!  Peek in on Patient Two.  Still in bed.  BP 200/103.  Awesome.  Bust out the IV labetalol.  Take THAT.   Back down to around 180/70. Sigh. NP says to give it a half hour. 

Grab the aide, both patients get repositioned.  Sit down to chart.  Barely get logged on.

Good buddy nurse sticks her head outside the curtain and gives me The Smile. She’s helped me so many times, she knows I’ll do anything for her. Not that I want to go into that patient’s room.  I do not. But we’re nurses, and we do what needs to be done.

I enter the room of the patient who solidified my belief that ultimately ICU nursing is not for me.

Now, I love intensive care.  I love helping someone right in the moment they need it most. I’m good at my job and I love using my head and my heart to do it.  But I can’t stay here.  I’m willing to walk with a patient through difficult and painful treatments to get them better but I didn’t sacrifice my time with my family and go to nursing school to put people through hell for no meaningful recovery.  I have an ethical aversion to a good 40% of what I do at my job now and that percentage only seems to be growing.

Her history is too long to recount.  Her body had lost the ability to heal a long time ago.  Every organ failing, even her skin. Her skin would break under our hands no matter how gently we would move her.

Her BKA stump has been infected for months.  The flavor of this month was Pseudomonas.  The nurse was asking for help changing the dressing. We remove the old dressing to find her stump disintegrating into the telltale light green of raging Pseudomonas infection.  It looked like pea soup.  We were keeping this woman alive so she could turn into pea soup before our eyes.

I couldn’t look at her face anymore.  When I had first taken care of her I had paid very close attention to her face, trying to read her expression for anything I was doing that she found painful since she was nonverbal at baseline after massive stroke.  Eventually I figured out everything we did caused her pain. 

We still warned her of what we were going to do, still apologized.  The family had instructed that no pain medicine be given “because it makes her less interactive with us.”   The family wasn’t even here. Sorry she can’t entertain you like you want because of the tremendous pain she’s in. I try so hard no to judge them as I’m sure they’re are suffering too.  But I fail every time and every time I get angry. 

Ethics consult was “pending.”  Meaningless, we have no teeth, no real influence. If the family says treat, we treat.  What does “treat” even mean, then?  If all we do is…..

I stop myself from going down that mental road, again. It simply isn’t up to me. What is in my power to do for this woman, right now, that will help her?  I can think of nothing but to treat her gently and say a prayer for her relief.

I don’t know if it helped.

Dressing done, I leave the room with ice in my gut and go back to charting.

A few clicks done before Bed 24 alarms again.

VTach, really fast and not stopping this time.  Everybody runs for the room.  I’m first so I go to grab the cart with the Resus meds and Life Pack but it’s not there because my friend with the bad feeling already has it in the room.  She’s been feeling for a pulse while we ran to her.

“No pulse,” she says as I walk in.  I start CPR while she digs out the defibrillator pads.  She puts them on around my hands and starts charging the Life Pack.  “Clear!,“ I back off, she discharges the shock.

(Ahhhhh sorry. I can’t help it, it’s exactly what we’re doing when we shock someone.)

Sinus rhythm restored.

“Maternity leave didn’t slow you down, did it?” I say to her.  She shrugs.  Intensivist walks in and starts barking orders about STAT labs and electrolyte replacements.  “Need something, call me,” I say as I walk out.

Check the monitor.  Patient Two’s BP is 190/90.  *sigh*

All things considered, not a bad hour. My scrubs aren’t covered in anything.  I didn’t get any indecent proposals. Nobody tried that hard to die.

Eleven hours to go.

anonymous asked:

what about neil drawing on andrew's arms with marker and tracing his scars? maybe either as an anxiety thing for neil or even a comforting thing for andrew? neil is taking andrew's ugly past and making pretty pictures out of it, and instead of looking at his arms and seeing bad memories he can see the sunset or the forest or the ocean. maybe one day he gets a tattoo of one of neil's drawings over his scars because that was his past but neil is his future. (sry if you've already done this!!)

i haven’t already done it, but this wonderful person has!! and i love this, but i also… fckn love the idea so i’m doing it too, ha

  • neil has been a doodler like… literally forever
  • you put paper in front of him, he will doodle on it
  • if he didn’t have paper, he’d trace shapes with his hands - letters into his legs or arms, run his fingers over the lines of their new stolen car until he could draw it in his sleep

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anonymous asked:

Alex, before John wakes up and when/after he finds out about the tattoo, the constellations aligned

Can do! x

*

When Alex is high, he sleeps like a dead thing. When’s he’s drunk-drunk, he wakes up every hour or so and then immediately falls back to sleep. When he’s tipsy, he drifts in and out of sleep, never going all the way under until he’s sobered up. When he’s in an unfamiliar bed, he can never quite allow himself to give entirely into sleep.

Tipsy and high, post-orgasm, in von Steuben’s library, he seems to be falling somewhere in the middle. He drifts for a while and then sits up straight, wide awake, and then falls back into his half-sleep when he decides not to get out of bed. It’s a few hours into the night when he gives up and props himself up in the bed, hoping maybe he can sober up entirely and then at least nap until it’s time to go home.

Next to him, John sleeps on, undisturbed. He’s on his stomach, his hair a riotous mess of tangled curls that’s mostly up off of his neck and back, bare in the cool air of the room. Alex shivers—John is beautiful, this ethereal being that he’s somehow allowed to touch, something otherworldly and precious.

He would blame the affection on the lingering alcohol and marijuana sluggishly crawling through his system, but he tries not to lie to himself—this is how he always feels about John, deep down inside.

Keep reading

{Part 1} Memorable Tattoo // Im Jaebum, TattooAU!

Originally posted by markjin

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Fluff, TattooAU!

Summary; Whilst on your travels, you get tattooed by tattoo artist Jaebum - and you can’t deny how absolutely beautiful he is; especially with the light flirting that goes on between you both.

(Y/C) = Your Country

Read {Part 2} Here!

Keep reading

Chekov x reader: Soulmates

Hey guys!  Leave me feedback on this one, this is my first soulmates one where its been more romantically inclined…  But seriously leave me feedback!

No warnings!

Word Count: 1544

I hope you guys like it and I’m sorry that it’s taken so long to do!  Give me more prompts please!  I love you all :)

Also, thanks to @nymphadora-blurryface for the suggestion!

—————————————————————————————————-

I took a deep breath, smoothing down my jacket and looking at myself in the mirror.  It was an exciting day.  All of the crew had drawn straws to see who would get to go on this planet-exploration trip.  We had all been off-land for more months than we could keep track of and everyone was eager to abandon their space legs.  Somehow I managed to snag a spot on the team, and now I had ten minutes to get to the transporter room.
   As I was about to turn away from the mirror, I noticed a small stain on my shirt.  Hastily I threw it off and grabbed another one, just barely glancing at the thin black line which ran about an inch across my hip and midriff.  It had appeared the day I had arrived on the Enterprise and hadn’t left since. When I mentioned it to my mom on a call home, she told me that it meant I had a soulmate with a matching line in the same place.
Of course I was excited, but it wasn’t like I could go around asking every dude I saw if he had a line on his stomach, so I kind of forgot about it. Que sera sera, I figured.
Having made sure my new shirt was stain free, I left my dorm and headed for the transporter room.
When I arrived, five of the seven other people going on the mission were already there.  The only two missing were Dr. McCoy and Chekov.  
Chekov and I hadn’t really gotten to know each other all that well, but he seemed friendly enough.  I thought he was absolutely adorable with his mop of hair that waved at me every time he turned his head.  
I was jolted out of my thoughts as I looked around and realized that I was still the only person from medical standing in the room.  Where was Bones?  Almost immediately after I thought this, Kirk motioned for me to come over to him, and I suspected that it had something to do with Dr. McCoy’s absence.
“Dr. Y/L/N?”  Captain Kirk had a look of apprehension on his face.  
“Yes Captain?”
“Would you be comfortable being the commanding doctor on this trip?  Dr. McCoy is understaffed and needs to remain onboard.”
My heart jumped at the thought of being the commanding doctor.  Nobody except Dr. McCoy was ever the commanding doctor for away missions.
“Of course, Captain, I’d be honoured!”   I tried and failed to hide my excitement and Captain Kirk had to turn away to hide a small smile from me.  
“Is everyone here?”  Kirk asked as he addressed the whole group.
“No, Chekov is still-”
“Here I am, Captain!”  Chekov spoke as he dashed into the room, cutting off my sentence in the process.
“You are late,” Spock reprimanded.
“Yes, I know, I am sorry.”  Chekov bowed his head and looked down at the ground.
As we boarded the transporter, I leaned over to whisper to Chekov. “Why were you late?”
He blushed at me.  “I forgot to feed my cat.”
“You have a cat?”
“You can’t tell anyone. Kirk knows, and he’s fine with it as long as I don’t go around telling people about it.”
“Okay, I won’t.”  I swallowed a smile as I thought about the fact that Chekov had just shared a secret with me.
“Do you think I could meet her sometime?  I have a cat back home, I really love them.”
“You want to… sure, I mean, I don’t get a lot of visitors, so I’d need to tidy up a bit, but yeah!”  He blushed and nodded his head several times, as if at a loss for what else he could say.
The awkward moment was ended as we were suddenly beamed down to the planet. We didn’t talk much after that, except to confer on the landscape and wildlife we saw around us.
After about half an hour of exploring, we came to a fork in the road, and saw that both paths were quite narrow. Captain Kirk checked his map and saw that the paths converged at the end, and decided to split us in half to explore both halves of the road. Chekov, an older woman and I were put together, and Captain Kirk, Spock, and a younger man I didn’t know the name of went the other way.
As we made our way along, I grew more and more uneasy about the terrain.  Chekov and the woman kept slipping, and just as I opened my mouth to tell them to turn around and go back, the woman gave out a loud cry and slid down the rocky slope, landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom.
I immediately looked for and found a way to get down to her without being injured myself, and called up behind me, “Chekov, call Kirk and tell him what happened.”
My response came in the form of Chekov jumping down the rock face behind me to meet me at the bottom.
“On it,” he said breathlessly.
“What are you doing down here?”
He glanced at me as he helped me to turn the patient over. “You’ll need a nurse, won’t you?”
“Yes, thank you,” I said as I examined the woman.  She had several deep bloody gashed down the side of her leg, and unless we stopped the bleeding, she was going to lose it.
I unzipped my medical bag and pulled out all the gauze rolls I had brought with me.  At first glance I could see that there weren’t going to be enough, but I worked silently alongside Chekov bandaging her up until there were no supplies left.
“Kirk will be here in a couple minutes,” Chekov said, checking his communicator.
I shook my head.  “We need more gauze.”  An idea suddenly dawned on me and I began ripping the bottom of my shirt into strips of cloth.  “Wrap this around her other wound,” I ordered, tossing the material to Chekov and tearing off another piece.  He obliged, and luckily for my shirt, the two strips were enough to hold the bleeding.
Once we had ensured her immediate safety, all that was left to do was to wait, and once Captain Kirk arrived, we were all beamed back onto the ship.
The woman, Chekov, and I were sent down to medbay, and after I gave a report of what had happened and what procedures I had used to keep the woman stable, Chekov and I were asked to take a seat in the waiting room.
After a few minutes of silence, Chekov cleared his throat and turned to me. “That whole shirt thing was a great idea.  You’re a really good doctor.”
I blushed and had to hide a smile.  “Thanks.  And thanks for helping me down there, I appreciated it.”
He smiled and tousled his hair nervously before taking a big breath and turning back to me.  “So, uh, that tattoo, where did you get it from?”
His voice cracked a bit as he spoke, and I suddenly realized that my shirt was indeed ripped above my tattoo.
“Oh, this?”  I covered it with my hand and rubbed it self-consciously.  “I got it the day I arrived on the Enterprise, it just sort of appeared one day.  My mom said it means I have a-”
“Soulmate,” Chekov finished, pulling up his shirt to reveal a matching tattoo in the same place as mine.
“You?”  I exclaimed, jumping to my feet in surprise.  
He rose to stand next to me, his face creasing with concern.  “I’m sorry if I’m not what you-” I cut him off by wrapping him in the biggest hug I could.
“Wow,” I heard him whisper softly as we embraced.
When we finally untangled ourselves from each other, Bones was standing in front of us, looking as though he’d been subtly trying to get our attention for a few minutes already.
“Doctor McCoy,” I nodded, and Chekov copied my movement.
“Doctor Y/L/N, I just wanted to congratulate you on a successful mission.  You kept a clear head and saved a woman’s life.  I’ll be giving a recommendation to the captain.”
“Thank you very much, Dr. McCoy. Chekov helped me.”
Bones looked Chekov up and down.  “Yes, I’d surmised that.” He straightened up.  “But no need to thank me, you did all the work.  Have a wonderful afternoon off, you two.”
“Yes Dr. McCoy.”  He turned to exit the room.
“Oh, and Y/N?  Don’t forget to change your shirt.”
I blushed again.  “Yes Dr.  Thank you.”
I looked back at Chekov, who was beaming at me.  I had completed my first mission successfully and found my soulmate all in one day.  I felt like I was in a dream.
Chekov noticed me staring at him, and stepped towards me.  “What are you thinking about?” He asked, a cute and curious smile on his face.
I paused and thought back to our conversation that morning.  “Oh nothing,” I said.  “Just that since we’re soulmates now, does that mean I get to meet your cat?”
He flashed a cheeky grin at me.  “Well I think I can fit you in for a meeting.”

Flash.

or… photographer harry

category: fluff & angst

If there was a flat you were forced to stay in for the rest of your life– you would have to choose Harry’s. Y/N doesn’t know if it was the fresh plants hanging from different parts of the ceiling, on every flat surface (tops of his refrigerator included) or the welcoming aroma of ground coffee from his morning meal, she just felt at home. Being one of the first people Y/N’s met after moving out to Glasgow, he’d immediately had a significant presence in her life. It’s a bit deeper than that now, with him being her boyfriend, but significant presence nonetheless. 

“Day-O is definitely a favorite. We should do this again next time ‘round.” Harry says, peeling yet another orange. “Movie’s great too.” 

“That’s why you want to re-do this day again? Because we’re watching Over the Hedge? Not because of your mess of a fruit?” 

Keep reading

The Joker x Pregnant Reader 2

Well, it happened and that’s all there is to it. Cross your fingers and hope for the best. At least he didn’t try to kill you…yet.    T__T

Read Part 1 here: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/152758968286/the-joker-x-pregnant-reader


“Oh, wow…this is going to be an amazing night,” you manage to utter, letting your body collapse on top of the Joker’s, starting to unbutton his shirt while kissing him.

“Anything I can do to keep my Pumpkin happy,” he snickers, panting with desire. “God, I really missed you”. His blue eyes look for yours and then you both stop for a few seconds, gazing at each other.

“You were gone like, for two days  J, ” you smile, teasing him.

“Yeah, and I missed you. You didn’t miss me?!” he frowns, biting your neck line, making sure to leave a few marks.

“Well…it was so nice and quiet…”you start telling him when you suddenly feel the pinches go down all over your body and he finally violently gropes you, satisfied he made you squeal.

“Why are you misbehaving, hmm?” he growls, pulling down on your skirt.

“You know why, baby” you wink, quickly jumping off him, backing out towards the wall.

“Hey, get back in bed, Kitten!”

“Noooope,” you lick your lips, starting to undress. “You come over here.”

“Ohhh… my naughty little minx. Daddy likes!” he purrs, getting out of the bed and slowly walking towards you, tossing his now unbuttoned shirt on the floor.

Suddenly, you can hear Emma’s cry coming from her room.

The Joker freezes for a moment, panicked, then before you can move, he is very fast in trapping you against the wall. His knee goes in between your legs and his hands on the sides of your head, grinding his silver grill in annoyance.

“You’re not going anywhere!”

“J, she’s crying, probably had a nightmare,” you chuckle, amused he’s behaving like this (again).

“NO, I need you!” He’s pushing himself against you even harder.

“Come on, baby, let me go,” you plead, struggling against his body.

“No, you have to pay attention to ME!”

Crying intensifies.

“I have to go, she won’t stop,” you beg, kissing him softly and trying to look as disappointed as you can.

“You’re mine, I don’t like to share. I saw you first,” he mutters, knowing the battle is already lost.

That doesn’t sound childish at all.

“You’re 39, she’s not even 2. I think you have a better chance of surviving this…yes..?” you try to reason with him and he’s sulking.

He takes a deep breath, pouting:

“Remind me again why we have a kid, Y/N.”

“Because we couldn’t let my beauty, brains, charm, awesomeness and your…amazing cheekbones go to waste.”

“Ha! Funny…” he whispers with a sarcastic tone, finally releasing you from his little trap. “I’ll go get her.”

“Awww, you’re such a good dad, J , “ you mock, watching him walk funny towards the door. “Your sacrifice will be remembered in the years to come.”

“Yeah, whatever!”

*******************

Emma is now in your bed, cuddled on top of the Joker, sucking on her thumb with her eyes closed while he keeps on caressing her hair. You take a picture of the cute moment. Your phone is full of thousands of pics you snap all the time when J is being sweet with her. Considering everything, he’s actually a good parent. At first you watched him like a hawk, of course, but he never tried to hurt her or anything, even if he creates such a fuss over the little things that happen on a daily basis. You swear: sometimes you feel like you have two kids.

******************

Morning time and you fumble around the kitchen while J is watching Emma, reading her a story. You hear him talk so you stop and listen.

“…and while they were trying to escape, boom!!! Huge explosion, blood everywhere,” he claps his hands and she laughs with her little mouse voice.

“B’ood da’y?” (she can’t really say “daddy”, but there are a few times when she manages to say it clearly).

“Yes, lots of it, all over!” She can’t really understand, but he makes her laugh with his dramatic gestures.

“J, what are you telling her?!” you shout from the kitchen.

“Well, Princess, whoever wrote this garbage for kids should be killed. I had to add something to spice it up, it’s atrocious.”

“J, stop telling her stuff like that, she’s just a baby!” you ask, shaking your head in disapproval and going back to rearranging the kitchen.

“Y/N?”
“Yes?”

“It always puzzles me: don’t I look intimidating? Why isn’t Emma afraid of me?”

“ She takes after her mom,” you answer, rolling your eyes at the obvious reason.

“What?!”

“SHE TAKES AFTER HER MOM!” you yell louder, chuckling.

“I heard you the first time, I just thought you won’t have the guts to repeat that.”

“Ha, ha that would be the day!” you puff, opening the fridge.

The Joker tickles Emma, speaking in a low voice:

“See what I have to deal with? Mommy’s feisty, but I love it. When you grow up, don’t be sassy to daddy, ok? I already have one pain in the ass.“ She sits quietly in his lap, trying yet again to peel his J and the star tattoos on his face, thinking they are stickers.  

He didn’t notice you standing in front of the desk now, arms crossed and eyebrows lifted, staring him down. He lifts his eyes and sees the expression on your face:

“Oh, hey Y/N… Dammit, am I sleeping on the couch tonight?”

“You’re getting close, baby” you scoff, going back to your work.

Some time passed and you don’t hear anything anymore. You go to see what’s going on and you see J widely grinning, with a bunch of personalized stickers on his face and your daughter peeling them. (A while ago, he ordered lots of identical stickers with his J and star tattoo so she can enjoy taking them off.) You think it’s adorable and snap another pic.

“You’re such a good girl,” he kisses her forehead, enjoying she’s preoccupied with something so he can take a look at Gotham’s map on his desk. “I always say that to mommy too when I…”

“J, what the hell?! Shut it down!”

He snickers, winking and roaring in your direction.

The knock in the door stops the little rant you were about to give him.

“Cooooome innnn,” the Joker playfully drags the words, squeaking, earning a laugh and a kiss on the cheek from his daughter that he’s absolutely thrilled about.

Frost comes in and Emma becomes so impatient that J has to put her down. She runs to him, grabbing his leg and reaching for him. You notice The Joker doesn’t look happy at all right now and you go and sit in his lap as fast as you can, firmly holding his right hand on your leg and putting his left one around your waist.

“F’ostyyyy, up… up!” He pics her up and she shyly places her tiny arms around his neck, hugging him.

“Hey there, Em,” Frost smiles, holding her tight to his chest.

“That’s my kid…” he mumbles in your ear, getting pissed. He tries to get up but you hold him down.

“Steady, J ” you smile, stroking his green hair, finding it funny he is always so possessive.

“She’s my little Princess, mine!” he moves around in the chair, uncomfortable.

“Yes, baby, everything is yours and yours alone, ok? She likes him and he’s good to her, I told you before there’s no harm in it, “ you kiss his temple while he’s fuming.

“Boss,” Jonny tries to start the conversation but stops when he sees the Joker looking away, averting his eyes on purpose.

“Ummm… Y/N, you’re coming with us tonight, right?”

“Oh, yes, I want those diamonds so bad. It’s said they are huggeee!!” you squirm, happy that you can wear them soon.

***********************

Mister J went into his office to look over the bank’s plans for your raid tonight. He will stay home with Emma but wants to make sure everything will be ok for you. He marks the exits with a black marker, drawing a line over the entry point. Some explosives should do the work. And the diamonds are right…here-marked with an “X”. Music starts blasting in the penthouse and he sighs, annoyed. How is he supposed to concentrate?! He gets up and opens the door, wanting to complain and tell you to turn it down, when what’s going on in the living room stops him. You swing your body to the beat and Emma is in front of you, trying to imitate your moves, looking completely adorable as she tries so hard to follow what you do. You just laugh and look so happy that the Joker catches himself standing in the doorway, a smile forming in the corner of his mouth. He takes out his cell and starts recording you two. If one of these days he gets killed, he wants the cops, the SWAT team or Batsy to find this on him, watch it and know that The Clown Prince of Crime had it all, on his own terms, and didn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks.

*********************

“Achoo!” her little sneeze makes you turn around from your current task: making sure you have everything you need for tonight’s heist. The Joker’s green shirt is full of yogurt which he was feeding her when she sneezed. Emma starts giggling and you follow.

“Really kid? On daddy’s Prada shirt?” he crinkles his nose, looking at the fabric to assess the damage. “And you, Kitten, are setting up a bad example. Why are you laughing?”

“Because it’s FUNNY; I’ll get you another shirt, hold on,” you continue to snicker as you go to the master bedroom.

“I get no respect around here anymore,” he frowns, tilting his head, trying to stay mad but can’t contain his smile hearing his daughter cracking up. She can’t stop giggling.

“Wha’? You’re getting a kick from doing something you’re not supposed to?… That’s my girl, you’re definitely my kid.” He feels such pride building inside his chest. He cups her face, squeezing her cheeks and kissing them all over.

Definitely? Like in there’s any doubt Emma wouldn’t be yours, hmmm?” you narrow your eyes, smacking your lips, not very pleased, tossing the new shirt at him. He hates it when you sneak up on him and you always catch him at the right moment, talking nonsense.“Wanna repeat that to me, MISTER J?” Oops, you’re using Mister J when you’re really pissed and he knows it. But you’ve been so moody lately anyway.

*********************

You’ve put Emma to bed and you are done preparing for the robbery tonight. After everything is done, you go in the living room and sit by him on the couch. He’s watching the news, quiet for the last hour, which is unlike him. You lean your head on his legs, wrapping your arms around his knees.

“What’s wrong, handsome?” you ask while he starts combing your hair with his fingers, paying attention to the TV.

“Do you think Emma’s… ok?” he suddenly starts the conversation.

“Yeah, she’s fine; I just put her to bed.”

“That’s not what I meant” he cuts you off and you know what he’s aiming at. “You know I’m… different and…”

Insane…” you start the sentence.

“Did you just call me insane?!” he pulls your hair and you gasp.

“…ly awesome, let me finish, jeez. That hurt.”

He yanks your hair again, and you punch his abs, not too hard.

“Relax baby, she’s fine. We’re fine, all right? We managed so far, didn’t we?”

He seems distracted and starts caressing your hair again. You suddenly realize it, jumping up so fast you knock down the remote out of his hand.

“J, she’s asleep!”

He gives you a confused glare.

“She’s asleep! Let’s go, me and you!” You pull him up, dragging him after you.

“Ohhhh,” he finally gets it and a huge smirk creeps on his face. “Shit, we wasted some precious minutes.” He stops you and lifts you up, carrying you in the bedroom bridal style.

Operation Mission Impossible was a total success. Hooray! *NO interruptions*

**********************

You tiptoe inside the penthouse, silently closing the door behind you. You hold the huge box in your hands, full of the diamonds you wanted so badly. Now they are yours and it makes you so pleased. Tonight’s heist went incredibly well and you are in a good mood. Where are your sunshines? You go to Emma’s bedroom to find her cuddling with her dad under her pink blanket. An “awww” escapes your lips and you take a picture, the millionth one now. It’s definitely heartwarming. You know who else needs to see this? you think, since you’re in such a happy place for the moment. Batsy. Since you’re not sleepy, you are going to finally do what you’ve planned for a while.

*********************

The Bat notices the sky light lit for him and he rushes to the spot, thinking Gordon has some kind of emergency. There is nobody on the top of the building except something that seems like a photo album surrounded by knives. There is a note on top of it:” For Batsy, from Mrs. J” and the mark of your pink lipstick kissing the paper. Bruce Wayne is intrigued. He opens the photo album and his face changes from one expression to another. What is the meaning of this?! Pics of the Joker and his daughter immortalized in different cute, adorable, mundane, NORMAL moments.

This must be a bad joke and for sure photo shopped, he thinks, mad he wasted his time, but he still takes the album with him. Once back to his Bat Cave, he analyzes every single one of his little presents with all the gadgets he has and surprisingly, they are genuine. Wow, how come? How is it possible that’s the Joker he always chases after?! He seems so…ordinary.

He has to admit you two have a very, very cute little girl. He flips through the pages, choosing his favorite picture where Emma is smiling playing with her dad. He draws horns and a mustache on the Joker’s face, then frames the pic and puts it on one of the shelves. You will probably never get to see it, but there’s a picture of your daughter and partner in crime right inside the Bat Cave.

**************************

You found out the big news today and you can’t wait to share.

J is in his office, planning to crush the Wayne Industry party happening next week. He is filled with excitement and has a few good ideas on how it’s all going to play.

You kick the door open, running in his lap, tossing his papers all over, and before he protests you kiss him deeply, take his hand and put it on your abdomen:

“Twins!”

“…   …  No way… …!” he gasps, speechless for once.“Oh my God, Kitten, really? Really? Like, for reals?” he can’t hide his joy anymore as his hand presses harder on your tummy.

“Yes, baby, for reals” you let out a small scream, excited to the max.

“Wowww, are  you going to be super mean to me since we have twins in there? Double the amount?”

“Most likely,” you giggle, knowing it’s true.

“Oh, goody, I can’t wait, you know I love it when you’re mean to me.”
You lift your shoulders, entertained:

“Whatever rocks your boat, J .”

He keeps on rambling on:

“I so love it when you feel like killing me and I wanna strangle you for it.”

“You’re such an incurable romantic baby,” you moan, getting turn on by his words.

“I know, right? When am I not romantic?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” you demand, biting his ear.

************************

**You are definitely very emotional with this pregnancy.  You just broke one of your nails while loading a gun and started crying instantly.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” J stops loading his own gun, looking at you with concern.

“I.. broke…my ..naaaiiill,” you sniffle, not being able to control your tears, showing him the carnage.

Uh-oh, emergency situation again, the Joker sighs, taking your hand.

“You want me to kiss it so you feel better?”

“I’m not… 5 years old, J,…ok?” you stutter, whimpering, but in the same time nodding yes. He kisses your broken nail and surprisingly it feels better instantly and you stop crying.

“That felt good, thanks,” you smile now, wiping your tears and going back to what you were doing like nothing happened.

Mister J closes his eyes, satisfied he pleased his Pumpkin and avoided catastrophe.

** You have weird cravings.

“Babbyyyy, I want popcorn and pickles, can you go get that for me? Pleaseeeeee” you whine, agitated he’s not moving out of bed yet.

“Kitten, ask Frost. Give him a call, he’s downstairs. I’m beat.”

“I want you to get it. It’s your fault: you knocked me up, you’re responsible!!!” you yelp, starting to cry again.

“Daddy is going, ok? Stop crying, Pumpkin.”

He gets out of bed and stops before he opens the door.

“You better be meaner to me when I come back!”

“OK, I will, I promise,” you say through tears, smiling in the same time.

Men, this is going to be so much fun, J thinks, excited you’ll treat him like trash and he’s going to enjoy it so much. He’s probably the only one around with that kind of kink. Lucky you.

Also read- MASTERLIST:

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist