i really need to read this book again

creatingnikki  asked:

Hello!!! 💜 💜 For the asks 8, 16, 28, 48, 50, 53, 59, 65 and 74. I thought to leave some questions for the others as well :P

Thanks for the questions and interest, my amazing friend! 💗

8) What are your current goals? Not to lose hope, tbh

16) Would you get a tattoo? I have no desire to

28) What was your last lie? Probably telling someone I was doing well when I wasn’t exactly. Most people don’t care to know otherwise

48) Something you want to do until the end of this year? Live. Once the end of the year gets here, I’ll re-evaluate 😂

50) Post a selfie.

Okay, next post, though I can’t guarantee the quality haha

53) What kind of books do you read? I really need to do that again. But I usually go for thrillers, mysteries, suspense, coming-of-age, and fantasies. Some nonfiction, but it has to be about a topic that deeply interests me.

59) Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? I don’t eat much seafood. And I am extremely disgusted by liver and the idea of various strange animal parts

65)What are you saving money for? What’s that again? Haha

74) Favourite candy? Caramels and almost anything involving it. Also, I really like sour stuff


Smol Persian girl whose older sister was married to some Macedonian noble guy like the year Alexander the Great died so she has a Greek tutor to teach her Greek junk and she’s like ‘um yeah that’s lame, also I want my old life back’ 

Would this have actually happened? Uh probably not really, but it needed to come out of my pen before I could bring you more Sumerian goodness because I was a fool who read those Ancient Greek books again (again again).

For subjects like history, geography, business and even the sciences like biology and chemistry, a lot of content needs to be memorised! These are just a few of my tips on how to memorise all of the information you need before your exam.

Repeating over time- In the best scenario, studying for a test three weeks ahead is the most optimal way to study. Usually, the process is memorising chunks two weeks before and doing past papers the week of. However, more often than not, this doesn’t end up happening because the weeks get hectic/busy so the max time before a test is probably 1.5-2 weeks. The next few points are more catered to that time period!

Palm cards- This I feel is the most common way of memorising things, by putting information on palm cards and taking them around with you to study on the train, bus, or wherever you go. The cons of this is to make sure that you don’t copy the information onto them in a passive way. You learn it over again when you write it out so make that opportunity count!

Teach content to others- I have learnt over the past few years that this is one of my favourite ways to memorise- give a family member, friend or anyone (even your pets) the notes and teach them the topic, point by point. If you can’t explain a topic in a simple way where the other person can understand, it indicates that you haven’t learnt the information properly or enough to explain it in a test situation.

Film yourself- Another of my personal favourites, read over your information one palm card/paragraph/page at a time, turn on your phone camera or photobooth (on Mac) and film yourself talking like you’re in a Youtube video. If you do this a lot, it really helps because it’s almost as if you’re talking to someone else, and speaking it out loud helps you memorise.

Writing out notes- It’s best to actually type out/write out notes as you go in class, but before tests I usually handwrite them out again. This emphasises this in your mind and you can also ensure that you have learnt everything that is on the syllabus. Making them pretty is a plus!

Watch videos and Podcasts- Youtube has so many great videos on any topic. My favourites are Khan Academy (most subjects) , Crashcourse (science and history), Lisa Study Guides (English), Stated Clearly (Biology) and Eddie Woo (Maths). If you’re a visual/auditory learner, these really help because it feels like you are learning the lesson again.

Active textbook reading- Read over the text books and annotate/highlight. However, you need to ensure that you are actually reading the text, not just highlighting the words. 

I hope this helped anyone who has trouble memorising, good luck with all of your exams!




Cassian grunted in pain, but lifted his bloodied hands—to cup her face. “I have no regrets in my life, but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.”

She didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her—lightly. As much as he could manage. Cassian said softly, brushing away the tear that streaked down her face, “I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.”

stargazer606  asked:

Can you RFA gang being left alone with their new baby for the first time. Like MC had to go grab diapers or something and they are alone with the baby for the first tine

◉ Yoosung 

  • For a while he just watched the baby sleeping
  • He leaned over the crib and contemplated touching the babies little feet
  • But he didn’t want to disturb the infants sleep
  • It was odd for him to be the only one home
  • He wasn’t exactly worried…
  • But it was just strange to think that you weren’t there if he needed help
  • Eventually he got on LOLOL while he waited for you and the baby napped
  • He was in the middle of playing when he heard soft cries coming from the crib
  • It took him a second to remember that you weren’t home
  • Freaked out and jumped up to get the baby
    • “Awww…are we hungry little guy?”
  • He picked him up so delicately and held him in his arms
  • Grabbed a bottle from the fridge and prepared it while rocking the baby
    • “Wanna watch daddy beat some monsters while you eat?” he smiled, “your dad is so good, he can play with one hand!”
  • He felt pretty proud of himself and his multitasking abilities
  • Explained everything he was doing in the game
  • Every now and then he’d stop to give a light kiss to the babies head
  • And he laughed when he got excited at defeating a monster and the baby smiled
    • “Oh! You like that? No one can beat your dad!”
  • He was just about to stop playing when you came home
    • “Oh, he’s awake? How is everything?” you asked
    • “Great, honey. He just ate…and I think he likes watching me play”
  • You laughed as you brought your bags inside
    • “Now don’t start using the baby as an excuse to get online.”
    • “No! He laughed I swear!” he gave you a kiss

◉ Jumin

  • He’s not worried at all when you have to leave and fetch diapers
  • After all, he’s Jumin Han
  • He can handle anything
  • He’s feeling pretty confident until the baby starts crying
  • He holds her at eye level
    • “Now, what’s the matter…”
  • Right, she can’t talk
    • “You’ve just eaten…so you can’t be hungry…”
  • He checks her diaper, but it’s dry
    • “Now, how did MC do this?”
  • He holds her to his chest and starts to pat her back
  • Thinking maybe she needs to burp?
  • After several minutes of her still crying he is starting to get worried
  • He doesn’t want MC to come back and think he can’t handle his child
  • As he begins to rock her he hums a little bit
  • To his surprise she starts to quiet down and relax
    • “Oh? You like that?”
  • He puts on some soft opera music and hums along for her
  • Pretty soon her eyes are closing and she drifts off to sleep
  • Just as you come home
  • You can hear him humming as you creep into the bedroom
  • You smile wide
  • And see him laying her down gently in the crib
  • He closes the door behind you both and silently follows you back to the main room
    • “How was she?” you smile
    • “Just fine, perfect as always,” he kisses you

◉ Zen

  • Ummm…wait, what?
  • Okay he is a little panicky
  • It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he is scared of doing something wrong
  • Has you show where everything is like 5 times
    • “Zen, babe, you know what to do. Stop psyching yourself out,” you laugh
    • “You’re right…I’m sorry,” he takes a deep breath and holds the baby
  • Watches as you leave the apartment
  • Stares down at the baby in his arms for a while and smiles at how cute she is
  • He doesn’t know what to do at first
    • “Wanna help me run some lines?”
  • Sits with her on the couch and reads from his script
    • “I’ve listened to your lies for the last time, Rebecca!” he reads
  • The baby smiles and coos a little laugh
    • “No, you’re supposed to be upset you little cutie. Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to practice,” he kisses her forehead
  • She’s making little faces and he can’t help but take out his phone
    • “Mommy will want to see this!”
  • He’s taking selfies and short videos and sending them to you
    • “Me and the little actress in training are having a good time! Miss you!”
  • When she falls asleep he doesn’t want to put her down
  • Finally you come home and see them quietly sitting together, her nestled in his arms
    • “Why don’t you put her in her crib?” you say sweetly as you place a hand on his shoulder
  • He’s looking down on her and running a finger on her cheek
    • “I will…in a minute,” he smiles

◉ Jaehee

  • She’s got this honestly 
  • She has the babies whole schedule planned out
  • Feeding and nap times
  • She knows approximately how many diapers you guys go through in a day etc
  • She is supermom
  • And she urges you to go out and get some time for yourself
    • “Bring me back a pastry and a coffee from the cafe, please,” she smiles and calls to you as you leave the apartment
  • Plays her favorite Zen musical on the television while she rocks the baby
    • “This is the best number,” she whispers
  • Sings along to it
  • And the baby smiles
  • She’d never let anyone else hear her singing, though
  • Dances a bit while she rocks the baby
    • “I’ll take you to all of the shows you want when you get a little older. Maybe you’ll be an actor like Zen! Oh, but you don’t have to. You can be anything you want and I’ll still love you”
  • She almost lost track of time and rushes to get a bottle prepared
  • Just as it is warm enough he starts to get fussy
    • “I know, I know, here you go baby”
  • Her favorite thing is feeding him
  • Well, almost favorite thing
  • She loves when he falls asleep after eating
  • Which he always does
  • She places his sleeping frame gently in the crib
  • And presses a finger to her lips to let you know that you need to be quiet as you enter the apartment once again
    • “Your coffee and pastry as requested,” you whisper and hand them to her
    • “Thank you so much, I really needed this,” she sighs and gives you a quick kiss before taking a sip

◉ Saeyoung

  • It’s all fun and games until the reality hits that he’s alone with a tiny human that needs him
  • He’s read enough book and articles on the internet to take care of his own child
  • Sighs and reassures himself
  • Places her in his sling as he makes her a bottle
  • He LOVES baby wearing
  • Keeps his hands free
  • So nervous that he’s acting like he’s never made a bottle before in his life
  • Testing the heat on his skin over and over because he’s worried it might be just a little too warm
  • Finally it’s good enough and he sits down to feed her
    • “You have milk, daddy has chips!”
  • Pops a few HBC in his mouth
  • Drops a couple crumbs on her
    • “Whoops!” wipes them off, “don’t tell mommy” >.>….
  • Notices she looks a little weird
    • “What’s that face? You can’t have any chips yet you don’t have teeth”
  • Takes the bottle from her and starts to pat her back for a burp
  • And she spits up all over him
    • “Noooo! My hoodie!” T_T
  • Okay but he laughs a little
  • Takes it off and throws it in the wash
    • “You’re the first and hopefully the last girl to ever puke on me…you’re lucky you’re cute”
  • Grabs a book and holds her in the rocking chair
    • “I know you’re little, but I think you’ll like this story”
  • Reads to her until she falls asleep
  • And even he is dozing off a bit when you come home
  • You take her from him and put her in the crib
    • “Where is your hoodie?” you ask when you notice he isn’t wearing it
    • “She destroyed it,” he cries
  • You just laugh and laugh
    • “I wish I could have been here to see that,” you kiss him
    • “It’s not funny!” he pouts
I Can’t Lose Her

Part 1 (It’s really not that necessary to read it to understand what’s going on); Part 2; Part 3; Part 4; Part 5

Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Reader

Summary: Your parents gave you up so you had no choice but to become his wife.

Genre: Mafia AU, angst

Word count: 4,334 I went all out with this one 😂

Originally posted by sehunicorne

Jongdae’s POV

8 years ago

“Jongdae take a look at this,” my father said handing me a file with a bunch of papers in it.

“Darling, I don’t think you should show him this yet, he’s too young,” my mother interrupted.

“He’s has to take over the family business sooner or later, besides he already knows a lot of stuff, might as well learn how to deal with the ones indebted to us.”

My mother didn’t say anything just looked at me and went out of the room. I picked up the file and opened it. It wasn’t a big case, just some husband and wife who owns my father money because of gambling in one of his casinos. I have no idea why he would give me this, it seemed boring. My father noticed that.

“They don’t owe me that much compared to some other big shots but what I really dislike about them is the fact that they tried to run away…”

I wondered what he meant before I turned the page and saw that they’re now in completely different city. What fools. Do they really think they can escape my father this easily, he has eyes everywhere and they’re just amateurs. I understood that my father probably wants to go pay them a visit and I would gladly accompany him. I turned another page to see what they look like and to my surprise they had daughters. The older one in particular caught my attention, even though her face was expressionless, her features were delicate. I took the photo out.

“What about them?” I asked him, he picked up the picture and looked at it closely.

“We can use them to our advantage. Threatening is always easier when they have family members to worry of,” my father started laughing creepily, something that even made me feel unsettling. He stood up and called one of the drivers before gesturing for me to follow him.

“Are we actually going there now?” I questioned and he nodded. I got into the back seat of the car and checked my clock. We will probably arrive there in about 4 hours. I didn’t speak to my father anything else because honestly I preferred not to know what he’s planning. The car ride there felt like it will never end but once we were there I somehow started getting nervous. It was already dark outside and as soon as my father’s men began sprinting up the stairs the nervousness was soon replace by a pure sense of adrenaline. They kicked the door to one of the apartments open and went inside, searching for inhabitants, I wanted to go help them but my father told me to stay in the back. I saw how they ushered one man and three women to the tiny living room. I wondered how could somebody live in a place like this. My father steeped out from the shadows and I could already hear the two parents whimpering.

“Please, you have got it all wrong,” the man said.

“We were planning on paying you back,” the woman continued.

“Shut up,” my father said, pushing the two girls so they were on their knees, facing their parents. Even though their backs were to me, I immediately recognized the older one. I watched her hair go down her back and as she straighten herself I had to control my urge to come up to her.

“Please enlighten me how I’m wrong,” my father continued to mock them. “Because you clearly thought you can get away with all of the money I gave you. That’s not how this works.”

They all stayed silent for a moment and I heard another sob. It wasn’t from her though. She took the younger ones hand and whispered something to her.

“So what should I do with you all?” he asked expecting me to answer.

“Scare them a little?” I replied not sure if that’s the answer he wanted.

“Great idea!” he said, setting the gun against the back of her head. And then the quiet cries started again but by the way she was still kneeling I knew none of it is from her. She just squeezed the younger ones hand more tightly and I heard her mother say that everything is going to be okay but all of us knew it won’t and I don’t know what was going on in my head at that moment, I never dared defy my father like that.

“Wait!” I shouted and he turned to me, I had to say what I wanted quickly to avoid annoying him further. “Not this one,” I finally spoke. “The other,” I said, pointing to the younger one.

“As you wish,” my father said. I saw her turn to her sister in an attempt to stop him but the shot was already fired and only the echoes of the sound resonated along the room. Everyone was dead silent as they watched the body fall to the ground.

“Let’s go,” my father said, already going to the door. My eyes met hers seemingly for a split second but I could already see how they turned from frightened to pure hatred as she went to her sister’s lifeless body. I heard her cry for the first time as she held it. I quickly turned around. I have no idea why but extreme guilt washed over me.

“Shit,” I thought to myself going out. I couldn’t get the powerful look she gave me out of my head.  I realized that at that moment I fell in love with her.

6 year, 4 months

For the next almost two years there wasn’t a day I didn’t think about her. I wanted to meet her so badly but I knew it would never be possible after what happened. I spent my days gathering all the information I could possibly get on her. Her name especially stuck with me. I remember attending her sister’s funeral and watching her from one of the trees from a distance. Even being so far away from here I could see she had no emotion on her face. I knew that this is partly my fault but I never felt more grateful that my father listened to me on that day. After a few months, I found out that she started working to help repay her parents debts. Whenever I went to the café she worked at I was always too scared to go inside, thinking she will recognize me. At this point I knew I’m becoming quite obsessed with her but I just had to see her. Get closer somehow. My father’s health got significantly worse and I had to take care of a lot of more things nowadays but I had inside eyes even in her school. I felt like trashing the office I already had when I found out that someone is actually bullying her. I had to go there myself. Luckily on that day she wasn’t even at school. I chuckled when I saw how everyone stared at me as I pulled up in an expensive car in front of the building. I went straight to the principal and him knowing my father, well promised not to interfere. I slammed the door to her classroom open and called the bullies out. They of course didn’t want to go anywhere with me but just with a snap of my fingers, my father’s men were already at them.  Their squirms of pain and asks for forgiveness were music to my ear, as I tortured them myself in one the warehouses owned by us. Every day I was getting more and more like my father. I wondered if she ever found out where they suddenly disappeared to. I couldn’t let her be in that school anymore, so after a long argument I finally won and she was supposed to get transferred by getting a scholarship to the private school I attended. I could barely contain my excitement at the thought of seeing her more often.

4 years ago

It made me quite happy to know that she’s the introverted type. Less guys approached her, less trouble for them and for me. I have heard that she needed some really persuasive convincing so she would actually go this school. Knowing her, it didn’t surprise me she found this suspicious. I stared at her from the third floor window, reading a book by one of the trees. She looked as beautiful as ever. Our uniform fit her well.

“Are you watching her again?” Baekhyun approached me. “Man, you’re so creepy.”

“Shut up, it’s none of your business.”

He raised his hands in defence.

“Relax, I’m not taking her, even though she’s a great catch but seeing how everything is going, you’re not going to get her anytime soon either,” he laughed but I quickly silenced him with a punch to his stomach. He fell down on the floor and I lifted him up by the collar.

“You dare say something like that about her again.”

“No need to get violent. Anyone would be stupid to try to do that. Do you think I want to die? You’re scary when you’re jealous,” he said swatting my hand away and standing up. “Speaking about that. I heard that some guy from her class confessed to her the other day, she rejected him though-“

But I wasn’t listening anymore. How dare someone do that. I knew who it was. I saw him trying to get all friendly with her. Luckily it was still lunch break, I went to his table and dragged him away. I saw how frightened he got by the second. I was known as quite the scary one in the school, I just hoped that rumour never reached her.

“What, what is it?” he asked me when I slammed him to the wall in one of the corners. I didn’t say anything just took his arm and began twisting. He screamed in pain.

“Did you talk to Y/N the other day?”

“Y/N? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I twisted his arm to the opposite direction a bit more.

“Okay yes. Yes I was.”

“She’s mine,” I told him as I finally heard the bone snap. He cried out in pain and fell to the floor. “You won’t tell anyone about this unless, you have a death wish,” I said, showing him my gun.

I went to the next lesson like nothing happened. I saw Baekhyun glance at me from his table. He asked if I took care of him and I nodded. I had another worry now, my graduation is soon and she still has two years of studying left.

2 years ago

My father’s sudden passing half a year ago left me with complete control of the gang but also all the worry and trouble it came with. Before this I never knew he was associated with the other families and how closely they worked together. I needed to learn again how to cooperate and work for a common goal. The many deals and jobs my father left me with meant that I couldn’t see her as often. I sometimes wondered why she’s still not here by my side. I had so much power in this city yet, I couldn’t just go and kidnap her. At least I knew that she also graduated. I literally thought about staying an extra year in school just to be near her but my mother convinced me otherwise. It made me quite sad when I found out, she never went to pursue a higher education, when she was one of the top graduates. After all these years, her parents never learned and still gambled. Even more so, after what happened. Her heart was too kind, they didn’t deserve her. She worked two jobs just to take care of them and also pay up the debt. I wonder how she felt knowing that she’s sending the money to her sister’s killer. One day thinking about this I came up with a perfect plan to finally make her mine.

9 months ago

“You know it will never work,” Minseok said as soon as I explained to him what I was planning. “She will find out sooner or later.”

Every single one of them told me that. Why did I even bother explaining. I’m going to go through with it anyway. I have been waiting for so long as it is.

“Then I better make sure she doesn’t,” I said, putting my jacket on and going to the door.

“Jongdae don’t be stupid, she’s just a girl…”

“She’s special. You haven’t seen her on that day.”

I knew why they didn’t like this idea from the start, it was mostly because they didn’t want me to get hurt by her or get hurt while protecting her. Stupid reasons. I called my family’s lawyer and he promised to get the documents ready by the end of the month. I went back to my apartment and fell down on the bed. The room next to mine was still empty but I could already imagine her being there.

5 months ago

I picked up the papers and the photos I gathered of her throughout all these years. I wanted to burn them, get rid of them but I somehow couldn’t bring myself to do it. She looked so pretty and cute in all of them. I opened the secret drawer and put all of them in there. Today was the day. Her parents agreed to meet me as soon as I told them what I want. They welcomed me warmly and they nodded eagerly when I told them I’m willing to pay off their debt. It disgusted me how easily they accepted my offer to exchange money for their daughter, I tried not to show them this because I was also extremely happy everything is going so well. They didn’t question why I’m even doing this and that was enough for me. As I shook their hands and they signed the papers, I heard the front door of their apartment open. And there she was, almost in the same place I first met her, looking as stunning as ever in her work dress. I stood up immediately and took a few steps to her. She glanced at me then at her parents.

“Who’s this?” she asked, her voice sweet and soothing.

“Y/N this is Jongdae, you will have to come with him,” her mother explained.

“Jongdae?” she questioned and for a second, I thought she will recognize me. “Why should I go with him?”

“We just made a perfect deal and got a lot of money from him,” she was shocked by the answer.

“And you’re selling me off just like that?!” she shouted. “He could be a human trafficker for all I know, how dare you!”

I couldn’t stay here any longer, I needed to get away from her parents before I punched them in the face. I grabbed her by the arm and went to the door.

“Mother,” she cried out.

“Don’t worry Y/N! He promised to take care of you,” she shouted after her.

“Let go of me,” she said, as I took her to the car. She seemed quiet on the outside but I absolutely loved how feisty she actually is. I had no idea how to take her to the headquarters without her escaping, so I handcuffed her to one of the handles inside of the car.

“What the hell are you doing? Is this a kidnapping?” she began trashing around but abruptly stopped when she noticed my gun. I saw that she was at least a bit scared but she tried her best not to show it.

I took her to one of the rooms in the headquarters and sat her on the bed.

“Y/N I want to marry you,” I finally told her. She looked at me in disbelief.

“Are stupid or something? There was no way I’m getting married.”

And so it began. I tried to convince her multiple times and I didn’t know it was even possible but she started to annoy me to no end. Maybe this won’t be as easy as I thought it would be. I came back to the room again after a while and panicked when I couldn’t see her in it. I ran to the bathroom and saw that she’s climbing into the ventilation shaft. That was it. I dragged her out roughly and flung her over my shoulder. I left her downstairs and went to my room to calm down. I shoved everything off my table, it was easier taking it out on something. I knew I can’t show her my temper and how I actually am if I ever want to gain her trust and I needed that but most of all I needed her. I stayed away for a few hours before coming back to her. I signalled my men to leave us alone. I came up to her and saw that she’s sleeping. She looked so adorable I just wanted to pick her up and hold her close. And so I did but she woke up soon after. She stared at me with those beautiful eyes of her and her cheeks turned a cute shade of pink when I complimented her. I felt bad threatening her but she really had no more than two options. Even though I could never kill her. I watched the tears stream down her face. And here I thought I will never see that happening again. I wiped them off and after all these years of waiting, kissed her.

3 months ago

I couldn’t help but chuckle when I told her I stopped locking the door to her room days ago. I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. But she was even more shocked when I told her I’m taking her to party. She was gorgeous in the dress I got her that I froze to my spot. She came up to me and fixed my tie and when she looked up, she seemed so innocent, I couldn’t believe I’m lying to her. I was about to tell her everything right there on the spot, thank God one of my men saved me. I know how much she would hate me if she ever found out the truth and by now, I would probably die if she left me. I still hated the plan they come up with even though it was perfect. She was beautiful, who wouldn’t get distracted by her. I gave her a necklace with a tracker in it and prayed that she won’t get in any trouble so I wouldn’t need to use it. Unfortunately that was not going to happen. When Junmyeon came in and told me that Jimin took her to the roof I completely ignored the deal we were making and everyone in the room and ran out as fast as I can. If he as much as touched her. I don’t care if I get this war started. I kicked the door open and saw that he had her cornered. I would have killed him but somehow I was afraid to shoot someone if front of her, thinking it will trigger something. And I was right when all of it was over and she came to me that night I knew what she dreamt of.

1 month ago

I was trying to convince her to work with me for the past two months. I wanted to keep her nearby but I knew she would never accept it. She hated violence. One day she even asked me about her parents. It surprised me how much she still cared about them. As each day went by after I gave her the key to go out whenever she wanted and I saw her smile more often, it was harder to control myself. I didn’t want to push her but I loved her so much and I wanted her to know that.

Yesterday;  7 am

I woke up early because only now did I remembered that I never got her that wedding ring. What kind of a husband am I. I sat up in my bed and picked up my phone. I already had 3 missed calls. Two from Chanyeol, one from Minseok. What do they want so early in the morning? I had to go find that ring. I peeked inside her room before I went out. She looked so peaceful and cute while she slept. I could never get enough of seeing her this way.

Yesterday; 12 am

I came back after four hours and she still was asleep. I went to my office and checked my phone. 10 more missed calls. I had no plans of talking to them today, no matter how important it was. I took my cheque book and couldn’t help but take a peek at the photos I still had underneath. I still couldn’t believe I got so lucky to finally have her.

Yesterday; 10 pm

I came back as soon as I got the ring and went to the balcony with her. I knew she enjoyed the view. I didn’t know where to start, so I kept quiet for a moment, enjoying her presence.

“Jongdae, did something happen?” she asked me and I saw that she was actually worried. I turned around and practically begged her to let me put the ring on. Now she really was mine and everyone will be able to see that. I couldn’t believe she was just as happy as I am. I took her hands in mine.

 “You may have already noticed it but I’m utterly and extremely in love with you,” I told her and she began blushing. I didn’t know what to expect after that but I certainly didn’t think she would pull me in and kiss me. She kissed me. Herself. I slid my hands down her back to her waist when freaking Minseok came in and ruined the moment. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I knew one against eleven is not a good fight. I told her not to wait up and kissed her on the forehead before going after Minseok.

Present Day; 6 am

I was so sick of this meeting and all this bullshit. I just wanted to go back home to her and hug her so tight and kiss her all over.

“Jongdae are you listening? I’m not going to repeat it for the third time,” Junmyeon said, pointing at the white board near him.

“Yeah yeah,” I told him. “So what if BTS started to move, do you seriously think we can’t beat them?”

“That’s not the point, they have allies,” he sighed before standing up. “I think we have been discussing this for too long now. The meeting is over. We will meet up later today. Don’t be late, especially you,” he said pointing at me.

I was the first one to get out of the room and was almost running to the elevator when Sehun caught up with me. I really didn’t want to speak with him right now.

“Did you hear?” he asked, stopping me.


“Strange. I thought you will be going out for blood by now.”

“Just tell me what it is. I’m in a hurry.”

“There are some rumours going on around in the black market that Jimin issued a reward for someone who will bring Y/N to him,” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Are you serious? I have to get back home. Fast.”

Present Day; 8 am

I kept thinking why would he want her so badly the whole drive from the headquarters. But the want to finish what we started was stronger. I unlocked the door and went inside. I didn’t see here anywhere down stairs, so maybe she was still sleeping. As I was going up I saw that my office door is slightly open.

“Y/N are you in there?” I asked, pushing them. I saw her kneeling behind the table. She looked up at me with those same eyes I saw 8 years ago that turned from frightened to pure anger and hatred.

“Fuck,” was the only thing I could think of. “I fucked up.”

“Care to explain what’s the meaning of this?” she said, coming up and throwing all the papers at me. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. If she found this, she already knew everything. Why the hell I never got rid of them. She took hold of my shirt and tugged at me roughly.

“I only have one thing to ask you,” she said. “Were you really there when my sister was shot to death?”

She stared at me and I kept silent.

“I can’t believe this,” tears already formed in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t believe I was about to fall for a man who is responsible for my sister’s death.”

She let go of me and ran downstairs but I caught up to her.

“Y/N listen, if it wasn’t her it would have been you! I could never let that happen.”

She turned around and slapped me hard across the face. It hurt but I deserved that.

“And who gave you the right to decide?” she shouted and ripped the silver necklace off her neck before running out through the door. Shit if she doesn’t have that on, I won’t be able to find her.

“Y/N!! Baby wait!!”

I chased after her but she was unbelievably fast. I wondered how is that even possible since she was wearing heels. I ran after her for good fifteen minutes when I lost sight of her in the crowds of people. I punched the nearby wall with all my might, making my knuckles bleed.  I set my head against it’s coldness.  It can’t end this way. I can’t lose her now.

A/N: Dun dun duuuun, turns out Jongdae is an obsessive stalker

Never be the same

Hi, unfortunately this is going to be the last installation for the first imagine I ever did about Peter Parker (which I turned in to a short drabble series!). It has been really fun writing this and I absolutely adore this too. Hopefully, everyone will enjoy this last bit! I honestly had a fun time writing it. Thank you for the endless support, everyone! 


Originally posted by peteyparkerr

Peter looks at May when she comes to a stop right in front of your house. She parks the car and turns to look at Peter. “Remember what we practiced earlier?” May asks her nephew and Peter swallows the nervousness in his throat before nodding his head a couple of times.

“Compliment her but not too much because we do not want to creep her out, ask how she is doing, remember to always listen to whenever she talks and,” Peter continues to list out every single thing he can remember from what he had practiced with May earlier.

You had been putting your books away when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You jump slightly, surprised by the sudden tap, before turning around. A smile appears on your face when you realize that it is Peter standing in front of you.

Peter is looking at you with a rather nervous expression on his face and he looks even more adorable today. You immediately remember the night where he had saved you and you try to keep the smile at bay. “Hi, Peter.” You greet him softly, hugging the book you had been holding on to your chest, tucking your own hair behind your ear, looking at him with a somewhat shy expression.

Peter tries to control the smile from breaking out on his face and he nods his head at your greeting. “H-Hi, Y/N. How are you?” He asks dumbly and almost immediately; Peter shakes his head before looking straight in your eyes. “I, I wanted to ask if you would want to go out. Tonight. With me, for dinner. Like a date kind of thing.” Peter stumbles over his own words and your cheeks are really starting to hurt from all the smiling you are doing. Why is Peter so adorable like this? You really want to hug him!

“Yes, of course!” You reply excitedly. Peter looks slightly taken aback by your reaction and he gives you one of the brightest smile you have ever seen coming from him. You almost feel blinded by it even. “I mean, of course.” You immediately take out a piece of paper from your book and quickly scribbled down your address as well as your phone number on it before handing it to Peter. “Unfortunately I have to go now – I am running late – for my meeting with the rest of the student body so I’ll see you later, right?” You look at him, not wanting this moment with Peter to end. Even if it’s just talking with him.

Peter nods his head, holding the paper you gave him tightly. “I’ll pick you up at 7.” He tells you and you nod your head before closing your locker behind you. “Do, do you mind if I, I walk you to your meeting, Y/N? I mean, you don’t really have to let me but I just thought, like, maybe I could walk you to your meeting and,”

“No, of course not,” You immediately cut him off and Peter grins at you, making him look at the more adorable. He falls in to steps with you as the two of you walk to the room where your meeting has been assigned. The entire walk to the room had been silent – except for the several whispers that went around when people saw Peter with you – but the silence was not unwelcomed. In fact, it was very comfortable.

After walking you to your meeting and telling you, he will be seeing you later, Peter had rushed home. The moment he had reached his floor, he threw his door open and skids to a stop right in front of May, surprising his aunt from whatever book she had been reading. “I need help, May!” he rushes up to his aunt. “I asked Y/N out on a date tonight and, and I need help!”

Which brings Peter back to the situation at hand. May gives him a reassuring smile. “And do not forget, just be yourself, Peter.” May reaches out to place her hand on Peter’s cheek, caressing her nephew’s cheek. “That is the most important thing.”

Peter nods his head. He is really beginning to feel nervous now. “Right, yeah, be myself, of course.” He mumbles to himself as he nods his head again and he takes a deep breath before opening the door.

May smiles at him once again and keeps her eyes on her nephew. “Hey, Peter!” May calls out just as Peter closes the door. He turns to look at his aunt and the smile on May’s face grows wider. “Have fun tonight, Peter. I love you!”

Peter chuckles, nodding his head. “Thanks, May and I love you too. See you later. Drive safe!” He tells his aunt before heading towards your house. Once he reaches your front door, that is when Peter begins to panic again. He is not as ready as he thinks he is – but to leave after telling you he would be picking you up at 7 would be really bad and he is not about to do that to you at all. He has been looking forward to this for the longest time!

So with feign confidence, Peter rings your doorbell. There is no response for a few seconds and just as Peter is about to raise his hand to knock on the door, said door swings open and you step out looking absolutely beautiful. Even though you are wearing casual clothes, Peter still finds you absolutely beautiful and he flushes as he stumbles backwards.

“Hi, Peter!” You close the door behind you, tucking your hair behind your ear – you seem to be doing this a whole lot whenever you are with Peter.

“You, you look really beautiful tonight, Y/N. Not that you don’t any other night – I mean, not that I am seeing I look at you every night or anything but this is not going as well as I had hoped!” Peter groans causing you to chuckle at his rambling.

You shake your head. “I know what you mean and I think you look really handsome tonight too, Peter.” You tell him and Peter smiles at you, momentarily forgetting his word vomit.

He clears his throat. “Are you okay with Thai?” He asks you – he has been there a couple of times with May and he likes the food there too. When you nod your head, Peter feels relieved. “It’s not far from here and I didn’t realize you live so close.” Peter tries to make conversation.

You giggle as the two of you begin walking to town, chattering about this and that. This is the first time you have ever actually talked more than just a few sentences with Peter and surprisingly, the two of you have a lot of things in common too. The date has only just started and you really do not want it to end!

“Thank you so much for tonight, Peter.” You tell him once Peter paid for the both of your dinner. He had insisted and even though you had initially wanted to split the bill with him, looking at his determined expression, you simply let him pay for the both of you.

Peter smiles, the flush on his cheeks does not seem to want to leave his face. Occasionally your hand would brush against his and after the third time, Peter simply reaches for your hand and holds on to it causing you to smile widely.

“It’s nothing, Y/N. I really enjoyed tonight.” Peter confesses, turning to glance at you. You are looking at him with a smile on your face and Peter could not help but grin too. He is feeling very happy, giddy even – all the nervousness he had experienced earlier had flown out of the window the moment the two of you started talking animatedly about a whole lot of things.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and you find yourself right in front of your own door, staring at Peter. Peter keeps your gaze and you can see him occasionally looking at your lips – it makes you feel happy and hopeful that Peter seems to want to kiss you too.

“I had a really great time tonight, Peter.” You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning too much. Peter has that effect on you. Peter flushes and nods his head.

“Yeah, I had a great time tonight too, like a lot, a lot.” Peter tells you causing you to giggle at how adorable he is. The two of you keep quiet for a while – you waiting for Peter to make the first move and Peter contemplating if he should make the first move or wait until the two of you are at your second date.

Fortunately for him, you decided to help him instead by pressing a kiss on his cheek – akin to the one you left the night he had saved you – and Peter stares at you in surprise, jaw hanging slightly before grinning boyishly at the adorable blush that covered your cheeks.

Peter leans forward to kiss you and you meet him halfway, closing your eyes the moment his lips presses against yours. You relax in to the kiss and Peter places both of his hands on your hips, pressing his head closer. He smiles triumphantly against your lips before pulling away.

“We should do this again sometime, soon, that is.” Peter steps back. You nod your head happily. “Good night, Y/N and I’ll, uh,” Peter scratches the back of his neck – he was not sure about what to do now. He wants to stay with you longer – but that’s not possible since it’s still a school night and he also needs to go on patrol soon.

You lean forward to give Peter another kiss, catching him by surprise and the look on his face had been worth it. “Text me when you get back okay? Or when you leave for your… you know, spider business.” You whisper the last words at him and Peter nods his head, grinning at you. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Peter.”

“See you tomorrow, Y/N! Good night.” Peter waits until you walk in to your house to finally leave for the subway station. He could call Aunt May to pick him up but right at that moment, he just wants to bask in the aftermath of going on that date with you. Peter realizes that he really, really likes you a lot! More than he had initially thought and he honestly cannot wait to see you tomorrow!

So as some of you may know, I have finished acowar. Now that my mind is sufficiently ruined, I present to you this fic about the High Lord of the Winter Court and his mate.

This doesn’t really spoil anything in acowar, rather than their existence. So read if you want, acowar not necessarily needed!

This was requested by @ignite-my-love who is suffering as much as I am when it comes to this bloody book. 


How could this be?

Fifty years, and the wretched Amarantha was destroyed by a… mortal? A human?

Viviane’s hands shook, her breath coming out in sporadic sheer clouds as she hyperventilated. She was on the floor, her legs too unstable to carry her any longer. She would see him again, her beautiful High Lord, her love.

She was going to kick his ass. And kiss him. Not necessarily in that order.

I’ve loved you, since we were children. I will always love you, and being your friend is, and always will be, my greatest achievement. I beg of you, protect what is left, Vivane, and I will see you soon enough.

He had not seen her soon enough. Kallias had projected that to her the moment he knew there was no escaping Amarantha’s clutches, and let her protect their haven, which she tirelessly did, while he sacrificed himself to that wench. It wasn’t until he confessed his love to her that she knew the extent of her feelings for him. Her love for him was like the cauldron, and he was the sorcerer reaching far down into her, stirring her soul and wielding her being. She was utterly his, and she thought she would never be able to tell him. That was, until, Feyre Cursebreaker, former prisoner of the Spring Court, had shattered Amarantha’s deadly reign.

She rose to her feet, supporting herself on the marble columns of Kallias’ palace. He would be here soon, and when he did, he would see her standing – fighting – as she always had Before.

Because now there was a Before. It used to be Before and After the War. Now, it was Before and After Amarantha.

She looked out the wide, glassless, window. This was her home, and it would remain that way. The vast expanse of rolling white and treacherous mountains calmed her faltering breaths. She had never stopped to think about this moment - her reunion with her love. Had dwelled many time of how she was going to get here, the plans she concocted, the atrocities she committed in saving her people, but never let herself think – dream, hope, wish – about this moment.

She was still wearing the filthy pants, tunic and fur cloak she had been for the past eight days. It was spattered in blood and dirt and mud and Mother knows what else, but when she was constantly like this she didn’t see the point of washing. She thought maybe should change, to present herself nicely for Kallias, and then she snorted at the thought. That idiot could see her parading around in a pink tutu and nothing else and she still wouldn’t feel embarrassment. She was too far gone for that. She laughed lightly at the thought of Kallias’ face if he saw her gallivanting around, breasts free and lower half covered by hideous tulle. He would tell her to put some clothes on before she freezed, and she would tell him to shove his shiny shoes up his ass.

“Is something funny? It’s been a while since I’ve heard a joke.”

The voice stopped her thoughts. Stopped her breathing. Stopped her heart.

She turned her head, and there he was.

Kallias.” Her voice broke.


She didn’t let him finish, just sprinted the few paces between them and collided into him - throwing her arms around his neck, kissing him fiercely. His arms went to her waist, lifting her off the floor as he returned her embrace and kiss. Her legs went around him, and her hands tangled in his white hair.

She may have remained in the Winter Court the last fifty years, but now she was finally home.

His lips moved to her face and neck, kissing any part he could reach.

“I love you, you bloody bastard. Never leave me again or I’ll freeze your balls off and feed them to the bears.” She meant it with the upmost sincerity, but that didn’t stop her from whimpering her words.

“I’ve missed you more than the drylands miss rain, more than the stars miss night, more than-”

“I love you, Kallias. I love you.” She smashed her lips against his again, and she could taste the snow of his scent, the pine that always reminded her of him. She could taste the salt of their collective tears, and feel his heart racing as he pulled her further against him. He walked them forward, still holding up her body and soul, and pressed her against the cold wall. It was a good release, her body become so hot from his touch she wouldn’t be surprised if she left steam in her wake. His hands freely roamed under her coat, slipping above her shirt to touch her oh-so-warm skin.

“You kept me alive, Viviane.” He shuddered. “Not my body, but my resolve, my soul. Every moment was just another until I could return to you. I love you. I should’ve – I should’ve told you before but I was scared.” He rested his forehead to her, and her legs were once again holding her up.

“What’s done is done, never spend another moment of what-ifs, my love. We are here now, we can rectify this now.” She swallowed hard, her emotion tightening her throat.

He placed a sweet, barely there kiss to the skin just under her ear. She could feel his whole body trembling as he slowly got to his knees, pressing his face to her stomach. “Viviane, be my wife. Please, I’ll marry you tonight. I never want there to be another moment where I am not completely and utterly yours.”

A choked sob escaped her at the question, and he looked at her not in alarm, but in understanding.

“Not tonight,” she gasped.

He nodded, but remained on his knees in front of her. His calloused hands were around her calves now, rubbing smooth circles on the tight muscles there.

“We will not marry tonight, because you will make me your wife now. I’ll change into a dress, and you can summon a priestess, and within the hour we will be bound.”

His eyes pierced into her like she was a Goddess he had prayed to for eternity, and maybe, just maybe, she was. “A dress? You could look like a lumberjack and I’d still want you.”

“The dress isn’t for you, silly male.” She patted his head jokingly. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve worn something elegant? Far too long, is the answer, and I plan to look ravishing when I take you as my own.”


He had devoured her.

Worshipped her.

Made love to her.

Their souls had sung to one another as their bodies connected. And as Kallias and Viviane were at their highest state of pleasure, the bond had snapped into place, sealing them together everlasting.

If you’d like to checkout some more, you can find my masterlist here :) 

Call Me Four-O Four-O Four-O

My tribute to our lord and savior, Mr Gerard Arthur Way, who finally made it to his forties! From one seventies child to another, welcome, sir!

You like fatherhood, comfy clothes, meditation, going for walks, and cats. You still can’t swim, you still can’t dance (much) and you still don’t know karate. Face it, you’re not getting any younger.

I don’t wanna be younger, I just wanna…

Well if you wanted youthfulness, that’s all you had to say.
Cause I got genes to make you cry or make you go, how does he look this way?
For all the Britpop looks, the photographs that Kerrang! took,
Remember when I broke my foot from Frankie jumping onto me?

I’m not thirty
I’m not thirty
I’m not thirty
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that MyChem is really dead?
(I’m not thirty)
I’ve told you time and time again but you can’t seem to get it in your head
(I’m not thirty)
You think Frerard was real, you loved it when my roots were teal
But that was then and anyhow for the last time, I write comics now!

Forget about the Revenge looks
The photographs my boyfriend that Frankie took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are Doom Patrol

I’m forty
I’m forty!
I’m forty, now
(I’m forty, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I’m telling you the truth
I mean this, I’m forty!
(Trust Me)

I’m not thirty
I’m not thirty
Well, I’m not thirty
I’m not thir-fucking-ty
I’m not thirty
I’m not thirty


It’s not that Ronan never sleeps, but that he never sleeps around Adam. Not anymore.

Adam caught him sneaking off to one of the smaller storage barns before, probably to take a nap in the alfalfa hay if he could go by the telling slump to Ronan’s shoulders. There was a time when he’d even spotted him sprawled out on the roof of their house, a 1986 issue of Time magazine open and laying over his face. It was cloudy enough for Ronan not to burn, so Adam left him alone and didn’t say a thing when his boyfriend appeared three hours later, slightly pink.

At first, Adam didn’t notice. He was busy with school and friends and a part-time job; he didn’t have time to really think about it. Ronan still replied to all of his texts, always answered his phone calls every Tuesday and Friday, still greeted him with the same shoulder bump and sly smile when they saw each other on long weekends and breaks. Everything was how it had always been.

Adam would fall asleep to the pulsing bass from Ronan’s headphones and wake up to an empty bed, the smell of breakfast in the air. It was normal, it was them. But then Adam’s eyes started snagging on the thin blanket on the dorm room couch, or on the single pillow left in a corner of the farm’s milking parlor. He’d notice Ronan excusing himself: “I’ve got things to get caught up on” when what he really meant was “I need some sleep.”

Everything was not how it had always been, after all. Guilt had brewed in Adam’s gut for days after realizing it. He remembered falling asleep with Ronan during the summer before he’d left for school, waking up in the middle of the night to him snoring softly, then waking again in the morning to him reading whatever book he’d found laying around. Ronan had no problem sleeping beside Adam before. What had changed?

So now here Adam lays, in his dorm room’s twin-sized bed with Ronan pressed close and their blankets thrown on the floor. There’s a box fan propped against the wall, to keep them cool since it’s a tight fit and their bodies are natural furnaces. Adam’s thoughts are a mess in his head, a tangled web of certainties and uncertainties, but he needs to know what’s wrong. He knows how to fix every car problem known to man, but he doesn’t know the first thing about fixing relationships. “Don’t break him, Adam,” Gansey’s voice rattles inside of his skull.

Adam rests his hand on Ronan’s bicep, splaying his fingers.


Ronan’s eyes are closed in the darkness of the room, but he’s far from asleep.


“Is there a reason…” Adam pauses, frowning. He doesn’t like how uncertain his voice sounds. “Is there a reason you don’t let yourself sleep around me?”

There’s a moment of silence between them, filled only with the sound of a car door slamming shut outside, but then Ronan does his smoker’s breath and turns over so that he can face Adam properly. They’re so close that Adam can make out Ronan’s long lashes in the darkness of the bedroom. Neither of them say anything for a long time, and then Ronan’s slender fingers twine with Adam’s on his arm.

“I keep having nightmares,” he admits.

Adam understands immediately. He knows what kinds of monsters lurk inside of the other boy’s head; the hellish things he tries not to bring into the waking world. Nightmares. It’s enough of an answer for him and he squeezes the hand in his. Guilt gnaws away at him. For not noticing, for being relieved.

“The whole guilty thing is not a good look for you,” Ronan snorts. “I didn’t want you to know, okay? It’s not like I haven’t had nightmares before and I wasn’t going to risk you getting mauled to death by one of the fucked up figments of my imagination.”

Adam props himself up on an elbow.

“Is that what you dream about? Monsters?”

“Demons,” Ronan hesitates. “Demons that always get to you before I do.”

The imagery that one sentence paints puts Adam’s stomach in knots. He scoots a little closer to the body next to his and hunches over until his forehead is firmly pressed against Ronan’s. They curl into each other, clasped hands and shared breaths.

“Why?” Adam’s lips brush across skin. Ronan understands.

“You left Henrietta. We text and call each other, but I never fully know if you’re okay until we see each other. Before, Cabeswater kept an eye on you and all of us were always together so it was fine. In the summer, even after my mom died, you were still always right there and I didn’t have to worry something would happen to you too.”

Adam’s chest aches for the loyal, fierce, and loving creature beneath him.

“When you left,” Ronan continues, “I kept thinking about my parents. Then I kept thinking about you. You were alive and I was afraid it wouldn’t always be that way. That shit happens to me, you know. The people I care about die.”

“You’re afraid,” Adam croaks.

“I’m terrified,” Ronan corrects.

There are words forming in Adam’s head, a confession for a confession:

“I love you,” he says.

Immediately, Ronan’s free hand is tangling into his hair and dragging him down into a kiss. It’s all blooming heat, like hundreds of flowers unfurling within his chest all at once. He’s lightheaded in the best of ways, drowning in a feeling he wants to experience for the rest of his life. Being in love with Ronan Lynch is like nothing else he’s ever felt before.

Ronan pulls back just slightly and they look at each other in the darkness, really look. Something seems to unwind within the dreamer and he exhales a long breath. His smile is soft and easy, and Adam can’t help but lean in for another kiss. It’s languid and sweet, but spreads a different sort of heat through him that he thinks is inappropriate for this particular moment. He’s the first to pull away this time.

“Do you think you’ll be okay tonight?”

“Yeah,” Ronan licks his bottom lip, eyes lidded.

They give up on not cuddling since the space is so small, so Ronan ends up with his head cradled near Adam’s shoulder and an arm flung over his bare chest. The heat isn’t so unbearable with the box fan on beside them, so it’s easy to get comfortable. It only takes a few minutes for Adam to notice the other’s breathing evening out and he finds himself lulled to sleep by Ronan’s quiet snoring.


In the morning, when Adam rouses from sleep, he quickly notes the smell. It’s a mix of fragrances that remind him of the flower shop he used to pass on his way to school from St. Agnes. He opens his eyes, takes in the plethora of colors around him, and then sits up so abruptly his vision swims.

Flowers. There are flowers everywhere. Ambrosia, azalea, red carnations, primrose, red roses, white heather, forget-me-nots. Adam isn’t versed on the meanings of flowers, but his cheeks warm and he feels he has an idea what Ronan’s trying to say. Or rather, what he’s trying to say in return.

The spot beside him is empty, but Adam can smell bacon and eggs underneath the scent of flowers and his stomach growls with want. He climbs out of bed and is about to head toward the kitchen, but pauses in the doorway as an idea forms.

It doesn’t take long to collect enough flowers for a lush bouquet and then Adam is leaving the bedroom with an impish smile on his lips.

thotyouwas  asked:

could you recommend some good langst fics? im gonna binge read so langst and i need good fics, please

Hmmmmmmm I have a few! 

If Fireflies Cast Shadows by SeaBreezy

-Klance, soulmate AU. 

-I read this one a few months ago and I honestly love it so much, the langst isn’t that strong but it’s still an amazing fic 

Beginners Guide To Living by Milk_bud

-Klance, Collage AU but Lance has a terminal illness 

- I haven’t read the most recent chapters due to lack of time but I really enjoy this fic 

On Thin Ice by Minadora 

- Klance, Figure Skater/Hockey AU 

- Again haven’t read past chapter 8 but I really enjoy this fic and it is written so well. One of my favorites (Chapters are long though) 

Just Static by Jessadilla (wobblyarms) 

-Klance, Lance goes missing

- I read this fic as it was still being posted and I love it with all my heart. It’s so good and the langst is strong 

Book 1:Freedom by Crescentdescent 

-Klance, Avatar: Legend of Korra AU 

- This is probably one of my favorite fics of all time. Like I literally cried reading it.

Tethering by Fairyuphoria 

- Different universes (You need to read the discription) 

- I really like the concept of this and my heart hurts whenever I read a chapter 

I’ll Love You Even When You Can’t Love Yourself by YunaDragneel 

- Klance, Depressed Lance 

- I don’t remember much about this one but I did like it 

Feel free to add to this! These were just my top picks! I hope you like them!!!!

(If you want more you can DM me!)
Blood Purity

Request:  I NEED THIS OMG OKAY SO it’s George or Fred (I love George but either is fine) where you’re muggleborn and George flirts with you a lot in class cause he has a crush but umbrigde is not having it nah fam so she gives him detention for one of his many mini crimes and makes him write lines of “I will practice blood purity” and Reader is pisssedddddd when she finds out

Originally posted by mikeys-bitchh


You sit in your normal spot in DADA, at the table beside the Weasley twins’. Umbridge carries herself into the classroom and stops at her board. “Today we will be reading from the book. Pages 243-263. There will be no need to talk.” 
“Are we really doing this again, Professor? Miss (your last name) is more interesting and she’s dull as a rock,” George says with a small smirk. 
“These books are so predictable I can’t tell it apart from the Weasley twins,” you add, smirking slightly in George’s direction. 
“Brutal,” Fred mutters. 

“Quiet! If I hear another word from any of you, there will be consequences!” Umbridge squeaks. You roll your eyes and return to your reading. 
You feel a tap on your shoulder and look down to see a note slipped under your book. You quietly open the note and read. “Maybe you do have more personality than a rock.” 
“Sadly, you’re still predictable,” you write back, passing the note back to George. 

His mouth fell in fake shock and he placed his hand on his chest. 

“George Weasley!” Umbridge screeched. “Detention after class!” 

“Oh no,” George whispered sarcastically. Class was dismissed and everyone left except for George, who had to stay for detention. 

You were curled up in an armchair when George returned from detention. “That foul git!” he yelled. 
“George!” you yelled, getting his attention. You motioned him over and he sat on the arm of your chair. “What happened - wait, what’s on your hand?” You looked down to see a phrase etched into his hand. “I will practice blood purity.” 

You gasped. “Did she carve your skin?”
“She made me write that over and over and the pen did it to me,” he whispered. 
“She did fucking not,” you seethe. 
“She did.”  
You storm out of the room and find McGonagall. “What the hell? Do you know what Umbridge is doing in her detention?” you scream. 
“Miss (your last name), I suggest you calm down before I put you into detention myself.” 
“She makes you write lines and the pen etches into your skin. You write with your own blood,” you say as calmly as you can. 
“That is unacceptable. Thank you, (y/n), you may return to your common room.” 

You leave her office and make your way back to the Gryffindor common room. George is laying down on a couch, clutching his hand. “Hey, let’s get that cleaned up.” 
You help George up and to his bathroom after grabbing a first aid kit from your room. You mum knew you’d need it. “This is going to hurt,” you say, washing his hand out with alcohol. He flinched and squeezed his eyes shut. “I know it hurts,” you whisper. 

You wrap his hand up and close your case. “I’m so sorry she did that.” 
“It was worth it, actually.” 
“You’re an actual idiot.” 
“You like an idiot. What will your parents say?” George gasps. 
“I do not,” you say, crossing your arms. 
“Guess I’m not an idiot then.” 
You blush. “Would you like to join me in Hogsmeade next trip?” you ask. 
“Absolutely,” George replies. 

I Brought Soup

Originally posted by wrath-and-ruin

Raphael x Reader

I Brought Soup

Prompt: Hey there! I would love to read something about Raphael getting sick and his s/o wanting to take care of him. Would he be too proud? Or would he eventually give in and just enjoy the loving care? Of course only if nobody’s watching! ;D

Note: I actually had a dream about Raph last night, so here ya go. This turned out cuter than I had hoped :)

Warnings: None??

Word Count: 1105

Raph groaned as he adjusted himself on the couch. Somehow, he had caught a bug. A bad one. And while the big buff turtle was as tough as they came normally, as soon as he got a touch of sickness, he became nothing more than a big baby.

When you showed up to the lair, you had a care package tucked under your arm. Even with his blurry vision and pounding head, Raph still squinted to look at you. You were wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt, but you were still the most gorgeous person he had ever seen.

“Hey, Red. You feeling any better?”

“I am now.” His low voice was soft and hoarse.

“Oh hush,” You shook your head and tried to hide the embarrassing shade of red your cheeks had flushed to. Raph had a way of doing that to you, despite the fact that you were pretty sure he wasn’t into you. “I brought soup.” You held up a thermos and a spoon. He took it in one of his large green hands. “And tissues and a blanket and-”

“You’re too good to me.” Raph managed a tired smirk. He looked like his head was swimming, eyes unable to focus, breaths labored through a stuffed nose.

“And you, my green friend, are very, very sick.” You looked over to him. You had never seen him look so pathetic. “Why don’t you get some rest?”

“And what, miss spending quality time with ya?”

“Sleep, Raph. Now.”

“You’re hot when you’re bossy.”

“And you have no filter when you’re sick, apparently.”

“He really doesn’t.” Leo piped up from across the room. “Listen, thanks for coming to take care of him, (Y/N). We just can’t afford to get sick right now, but Don said you’d be immune to whatever he has so-”

“It’s no problem, Leo. Really.” You smiled. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Well, we’re headed out. If anything happens, don’t hesitate to call.” He and the other two left the lair, leaving you alone with Raph and Splinter, wherever the old rat had gotten off to.

“And then there were two,” Raph muttered. He ate a few spoonfuls of soup before setting it down for a while. “Sorry yer stuck on babysitting duty.”

“I don’t mind. I mean, you did save my life after all.”

“So we’re even?”

“Not even close.” You smirked. “I still owe you big time, Raphael.”

“After taking care of me a few hours, you won’t think so.” He chuckled to himself, leaning back against the pillows of his temporary nest. “I’ve been told I whine like a baby.”

“I have little siblings. I don’t think you could drive me away if you tried.”

“We’ll see about that.”


About thirty minutes after the guys left, Raph had drifted off into a nap. You learned very quickly that he snored like a chainsaw. This was an easy fix, as you had brought some headphones and a book to read in case something like this happened. You glanced up every few pages to make sure he was still out.

After a few hours, when you glanced up, Raph’s tired green eyes were fixed on you, a sleepy smile tugging at his lips.

“Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” You tucked a bookmark into your book and set it on the table. Touching the back of your hand to his forehead confirmed your suspicions that the large terrapin had developed a fever. “You need something to get this fever down.”

“I knew you thought I was hot.” He smirked. You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, Raphael, you are hot. You are running a fever. I’m gonna grab some meds.”

“You do that, gorgeous. I’ll be right here waiting.” You walked to Donnie’s lab, where he had labeled everything you needed and then returned to Raph to administer the proper meds. You handed him the pills and a bottle of water and then returned to your spot. “Thanks.”

“Need anything else?”

“I’m all set, Princess.”

“Alright then,” You opened up your book and continued to read.


“Yes, Raph?”

“Can you come here?”

“Um, sure.” You set down your book once again and walked over to where Raph was lying on the couch. His sleepy, sleepy eyes melted your heart.

“Thanks for takin’ care ‘uh me.” His voice was hoarse from all of the coughing and snoring and sinus drainage. “I really appreciate it.” You leaned forward to press a kiss to his warm forehead.

“Any time, Red.”

Raph took one of your hands in his large green ones, admiring each tiny little finger. There were so many.

“Yer hands are so small…” he murmured. “Have ya always had this many fingers?”

“Yes, I have. Are you sure you’re alright? Maybe those meds are kicking in.”

“I’m fine.” He insisted. Suddenly, something occurred to him. “Are yer feet that small too?”

“I think you need some sleep, bud.”


“Sleep. We can talk about foot size when you feel better, alright?”



As soon as he was better, Raph avoided you for at least a week and a half. Every time he saw you, his cheeks flushed red and he left the room. You couldn’t help but laugh a little before returning to your latest book.

But he couldn’t avoid you forever, and you both knew it.

He came around eventually, settling on the couch beside you. The other half dipped under his weight. Raph let out a sigh. You only raised an eyebrow in amusement, waiting to hear what he would say.

“So uh…I realize my fever may have caused me to uh…act different.”


“So I uh, I’m sorry if I made ya uncomfortable and stuff.”

“You didn’t.”

“I didn’t?”

“No, Raph. I actually kind of appreciated the honesty. It was like for once there wasn’t this wall between us.”


“You know, the unspoken wall that you put up to protect your fragile turtle feelings. I understand, believe me, but just so you know, I’ve lived in New York all of my life, so dating a giant turtle would hardly be the weirdest thing that’s happened to me.”

“What now?” He paused. “You’d date me?”




“So uh…”

“This is the wall I’m talking about.”

“I see it now.” He sort of chuckled awkwardly before pausing again. “Ya know, I never pegged ya as someone who’d date a giant mutant freak.”

“And I never pegged you as a freak in the first place.” You winked and got up to get a drink from the kitchen.

‘Huh,’ thought Raphael. ‘I might have to get sick more often.’

Booklr! Let's put together a list of book tropes we really bloody hate and would love to never read again ever.

I’ll start:

- The main character randomly seeing themselves in a mirror and deciding to describe their entire appearence in detail. Usually includes something about how ugly or bland they think their perfect, model-like face/body is.

- Love triangles. Do I even need to say anything else?

- The borderline abusive, supposedly mysterious but actually just really boring love interest. Bonus points if this one pairs up with the love triangle one.

- When the author has zero knowledge about something (usually computers or other technical stuff) but decides to claim a side character is literally the best person in this field ever and prove it by making them do super average stuff they personally think is impressing because they just have no idea. Like, restarting a computer or guessing someone’s password does not make your character a mastermind hacker. Please just stop.

Seven Years Later

A/N: This is legit my favorite story I have ever written, so happy to be reposting it, ENJOY! 

Originally posted by toyboxboy

Spencer paced back and forth in his small living room, continuously flipping through the pages of the manuscript. “You wrote a book about us?” he said as soon as he head the call connects. “Hi, how are? I’m doing okay, thank you for asking Spencer how about your self?” you said in a sarcastic tone of voice.  “Y/N, hello, how are you, I’m doing well. Did you write a book about us?”

“I wrote a book, in regards of certain events that unfolded in my life, you we’re involved in them. Therefor you are in the book, but there is no us so I did not write it about us, Spencer” you said calmly.

“Right” he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “Look it doesn’t have your name specifically, it’s a young adult fiction book, no one you know is going to read it. I sent it to you only because I wanted you to know, but that’s all.” 

“Right, of course, no one is going to read it. Also I don’t think I look like a Matthew why did you name me Matthew?”

“Spencer if that is the only comment you have about that book, go read it again,” you said hanging up the phone. 

Spencer walked into Garcia’s office reading over the case file he was finishing, “Hey Garcia, can you verify this location for me.”

When she hadn’t responded he looked up to see her, and JJ’s face completely hidden behind a book, the book. “What are you guys doing?” Spencer said terrified. “Oh my god, this is so sad.” Penelope said still unable to put down the book. “I didn’t think it’d be so sad” JJ commented.

“What are you guys doing” Spencer asked again. “Reading, genius what does it look like” Penelope said flipping to the next page. “It looks like you’re not working” 

“How can we work? I need to know what Matthew does next, does he really marry Sara? Does Mila ever move on?” Penelope said dramatically.

“You’re reading a young adult book, on some teenagers relationship?” Spencer said trying to keep it casual. “This isn’t even real” he said trying to laughing it off.

“Well I hope it isn’t because if I we’re to ever meet this Matthew I would give him a piece of my very uncensored mind, I can’t believe he wouldn’t pick Mila, she was clearly the right choice” Penelope said.

“Seriously for being as smart as they make him sound he sure made a stupid move” JJ added.

Spencer was shocked to hear what his friends had to say. He knew he had made the right choice, he was certain he had. So certain, he’d never told anyone the whole story about you, because he didn’t need anyone’s opinions. But here they we’re reading it, and giving him all the unfiltered opinions he never thought he’d get to hear.

“Well let me know when you finally get back to work” he said as he headed for the door. “It’s gonna be a while Penelopes Magical Workshop of Knowledge is currently heart broken”

The book began to haunt Spencer is ways he never thought it would. There we’re poster advertisements everywhere he went. Every coffee shop was selling a copy, every book store was displaying it, every library was announcing when they’d have it available.

There was no escaping it, there was no escaping the thought that maybe he hadn’t made the right choice. Spencer sat at the table nervously awaiting your arrival. “I’m sorry I’m late, traffic was awful” you said catching Spencer by surprise when you sat next to him.

You grabbed the glass of water that was placed in the seat he was expecting you to take across from him. You didn’t see each other much, for many reasons, the primary excuse we’re your jobs, and crazy schedules. The other reasons we’re only spoken of once you had consumed enough alcohol.

You started off by catching up with any new work news or crazy cases he had, next the small talk of family. Followed by any news, weather, or books you had recently read. You both knew the small talk was coming to an end when you began to talk about the food. 

The same things we’re always said about the food, because you had been coming here for the last seven years. Gotten the same thing every time for the last seven years. Some might think it was repulsive to be so repetitive but this place held meaning.

It was where you told Spencer you loved him, it was where he told you, “You’re my best friend, I can’t risk losing you” it was where you told him you we’re getting married. That same restaurant was where he took you too eat the day you ran the opposite direction down the isle. 

But still you we’re his best friend, and he couldn’t risk losing you. It was where just a year ago he told you about Sara, and just six months ago he showed you the ring he would propose to her with. That was the last time you told him how you felt, just one last time.

So many memories, just not the ones you wanted. “Your book is every where, even my co workers have read it.” 

“Well so much for FBI agents not reading young adult love stories” you said shocked. “Well I’m sorry, they didn’t say anything did they”

“Yeah they did. They said Matthew was stupid and he made the wrong choice, and that for being so smart he sure was stupid” Spencer said with a fake smile on his face. “So did I make the wrong choice Y/N”

“That’s for you to answer Spencer, I’ve said everything I had to say. I even wrote it down for you so would never forget” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to do this again, I don’t want to hurt you, those we’re never my intentions.” Spencer could barely look at you in the eyes.

“It’s in the past, are we ever going to be able to keep any of this in the past”

That was the real question. For years it was a silent agreement, an elephant in the room. You never spoke of your feelings for him, although he knew. There we’re so many times when you swore he felt them too. It was so easy to fall in love with him, but so hard to forget about him. 

“There was one thing I have to say about the book”

You looked at him curiously, “You left out that Matthew loved Mila just as much as much. You made it seem as if I lied and I didn’t, but I didn’t have the courage to risk losing you”

“We lose some people either way”

“You’re right”

As Spencer walked up to his door the package in front of his door caught his attention, quickly he opened the sealed letter tapped to it.

“There are so many things I want to say, first off congratulations. Second of all, I’m afraid I’ll be missing the wedding. Warm weather, and sandy beaches await me. Third of all, I re-wrote the ending to the book. I wanted to give it, us, the happy ending we didn’t have the courage to give our self’s. Maybe in another lifetime, maybe never who knows. I’ll see you soon Spencer Reid.” Spencer traced over the words on the handwritten notes. Reaching inside of the shipping bag, he found the book, immediately flipping opening up.


“Dedicated to: Boy Wonder, it was an adventure being your friend, what a pleasure having my heart broken by you”

TAGS: @reiding-and-writing @arizonalovesher @sithlordalice @queenelsaschuyler @thosefantasticbeast2 @obsessed-with-book-boyfriends @baerrylll @matthewgublers @valiantlyprofoundcheesecake @elyse121303 @mermaid-princess-wannabe @thecrownssmith @bolieve-that @angel-hunter-winchester @wundterwall @crimindsaspe @spencerreidtrash @socialscratch @okimdiya @bigcmfan @frickin-bats @coffeeismylife28 @riddle-me-bliss @lalakawe @devilgirlsarah @milkandcookies528 @pack-omega @cranky-blue-boy @do-i-really-know @heatherpotter @thegublerfiles @exitthevehiclenow @sassesu @crimindsaspe @amarislestrange

knees knocking, blood flowing, so i want you to know (that i want to)

i have been lurking on your blog since you made it, and you’ve just lightened up my days so much and gotten me back into writing (after a horrendously long drought). so, i wanted you to read this. because you’ve been such a huge inspiration. i hope it’s not too broody!

It starts: with him, face down on the bed, at two in the morning. Even’s breathing close by. The radiator is snapping. Those are the only sounds in the apartment, apart from the ever distant rumbles of traffic further out. It’s just enough sound to let it happen; to let the thought be heard and take root, weave its way between his neurons until it’s not going anywhere, no matter how he tries.

It’s not too foreign. It happens a lot – this spiraling thing he has going on. Thoughts wearing a groove in his mind until he ends up tongue-tied and frozen dead in his tracks. Usually it’s unpleasant; something he wishes he could get rid of. Not necessarily the thought, but the process of getting stuck. It’s one of those characteristics, (– along with the jealousy, selfishness, insecurity, abundant cowardice –) that he really doesn’t like about himself too much.

But this. This is different. Really, it’s just a thought.  It doesn’t feel so bad to think it.  He’s just surprised at himself. A bit proud, even, for going there. Acknowledging it.

At first, anyway.

It’s another thing when it starts to crystallize, becoming real – not just a liquid deliberation, but a solid want. And the more he lets it ( – starts analyzing how when why now? – ) the more something tightens up inside, like a knot tying up his throat and something cold settling in the depth of his stomach.

He swallows, turning onto his back and staring into the ceiling of his room; someone else’s floor.

Nothing is awkward anymore.

Well, that’s a lie. Nothing outward is awkward. But words in the mind are different from the words said. Even when the whole world has been tipped on its head ( – as it tends to when your boyfriend have a brain that’s a little faster and sadder than mosts and you find out in the worst possible way; leaving you scared out of your mind and gasping frigid air – ) you still think in the same ways, stuck in the same grooves, just with your head a bit higher; eyes focused ahead rather than down.

A bit more objective, perhaps.

Still. Shame that has had time to take root just doesn’t go away overnight. It lingers in the smallest ways, even when he tries to fight them off. Lingers in the way he still turns his head when Even wants to kiss him in the street; in the way he still has to convince himself that it’s okay to smile and enjoy dorky things, in how he still sometimes has a prepared excuse on the tip of his tongue to let go of, in how he can never really relax when they’re not around friends –

He was getting better. Is. But here’s the thing: at two am, without someone to remind him that it’s okay, that’s it’s alright to feel, the good and the bad ( – that it goes up and down, is a process, and that he too should take it minute by minute, you’ve got to be kind to yourself, Isak – ) old patterns tend to repeat themselves, simply in new constellations (– feeling shame about feeling shame in the first place; a layering process, a spiraling thing, the same emotion to the second fucking power –)

Isak bites his lip, releasing it when he tastes blood. His face is so hot he can hear the rush of blood in his ears: turning his head into an echochamber until it’s all clamouring so loud he can barely breathe.

Turning onto his side again, he sees the vulnerable skin on Even’s neck. Smiles. An old part of him tell him he shouldn’t want to, how could anyone, but god, he does. He really does.

Closing his eyes to shut out the noise, he listens to Even’s slow breaths, halfway muffled by the blue pillow, turning into gentle snores. Isak presses his nose into the back of the (his, because even if you can’t own people, Even is his – ) shirt, and pulls his sleeping body closer. Even doesn’t wake; he just lets out a long exhale, and Isak can hear his heartbeat through his back, smell his warmth, feel how solid he is; safe for now.

He goes back to sleep.

Fact: Isak’s always been curious.

Ever since they got sat beside each other because of their surnames, Jonas has been the speculative of them. He’s known things – or claimed that he did – by simply putting two and two together; figuring them out the hermeneutic way. He’s smart in that old school philosophical way that lends itself to making self-reflection and self-improvement an instinctual thing.

Isak, on the other hand, always wants to know more, and how. When he doesn’t know, he seeks out an answer. From sources – books or newspapers or the internet. Scours through page after page until he can puzzle together a picture from facts.

However, that’s regarding worldly things. Things others can tell him about; tell him if it’s right or wrong, even if those concerns started out as private thoughts only for him to mull over. They’re things he can research, and then apply to the real world. Sure, he has done it with private things too ( – sad, embarrassing midnight searches, sleepless Saturdays spent reading and so much before it searching for clue to prove it wasn’t true – ) and about all and anything.

Lately, though, he can’t. This is, while a curiosity and ignorance he wishes to solve, also something else. He can read about it, sure, but ultimately, no text, no explanation nor story –  

No words can explain how something feels unless you’ve already felt it.

Even’s staying over for the third day in a row now; sitting crossed-legged on the floor by the foot of the bed as he types away at one assignment or another. Tapping his pen against his text book, Isak gives up reading the same paragraph about bimolecular nucleophilic substitution reactions for the fifth time. Even’s got his headphones in, the light from the bedside lamp highlighting those lighter streaks in his hair. He cut it recently, and it’s still coming back into its own; the shorn edges still coarse when Isak drags his fingers through it.

With his always working senses, all six of them, Even must realize that Isak’s watching him. He turns, tipping his head backwards, sly smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Taking an undeserved break?”

Isak kicks him, lightly. “No,” he says, but he’s smiling so Even just laughs and grabs his ankle before letting go.

“Go back to reading then, or I’ll go home.”


“Because I promised not to kiss you until you were done with that chapter. And I’m not staying the night if I can’t kiss you. That would be impossible.”

“Fine,” Isak grumbles, but takes up his book again and stretches his leg out .

Even takes him up ( – so attentive it’s ridiculous and he makes it seem so easy why is it so hard – ) on the unspoken invitation and slouches down a bit to lean his head against Isak’s shin; a familiar, safe weight.

It takes a while to get into the rhythm of the text, he does manage to finish the chapter, even though he’ll probably have to re-read it to get it all. But not tonight. He puts his book down . Even’s once again engrossed in his writing, the rhythm of keys soothing, so Isak rolls over in the bed and puts his chin on folded arms.

“Have you ever broken a bone?”

Even frowns for a moment, then he sighs. “Yeah. Wrists and collar bone. My toe when I fell out the window that time.”

It’s not awkward now that he knows the best reaction is no reaction when Even decides to share something from his episodes. It’s all Isak needs, really. Some sort of guideline, and then he’s good to figure it out on his own.

“You’ve never done that?”

Isak frowns. “No?”

“Not even skating? Lucky.”

Even smiles with his whole face and wow, Isak loves him so much. So glad to have him. All of him. Looking down at the duvet, he asks, “What does it feel like?”

Tipping his head back, Even holds the thought for a bit. Then he says, “Like losing the love of your life.”

He says it completely serious, because he’s utterly ridiculous and Isak can’t do anything but roll his eyes. It’s fond though and Even just laughs so Isak swats at him. He dodges easily, clearly even more amused as he grabs Isak’s wrist to keep him from swatting again.

Naturally, things go south from there pretty quickly, and they end up side by side, panting from the impromptu wrestling match ( – which it was, through and through, just playing, being close and physical but not intimate in that way and it’s so long since he’s had that, but with Even he can and it’s the best feeling in the world – ) staring into the ceiling, Isak’s hand resting on Even’s ribcage.

It moves gently with his breathing, loud in this small room.

“I’m serious, though,” Isak says softly. “How does it feel?”

Even is quiet for a long while, and by know he must know that this is really about something else. But, he’s so patient, and says, “It’s searing. Almost as when you poke a bad bruise too hard, mixed with that sharpness of a paper cut. But it lasts forever?”


Even cracks an eyes open, and then nuzzles close ( – smelling so good, it’s incredible how someone can smell so good, so warm and safe and human –) so that their noses touch.

“It feels like forever. Until it heals.”

It continues: March is dreary, cold and misty. Isak pulls down the makeshift curtain ( – a blanket, let’s call it what it is – ) to let some light in. To make it easier to wake up in the morning; make it easier to get out of a warm bed into a draughty room, knowing that Even can just turn over and go back to sleep since he’s got study hall first period on Fridays.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, a finger hooks into the back of his shorts; the elastic snapping back lower than earlier when he spins around. Even looks at him from under the duvet, eyes thin slits, his lips forming unintelligible words until they stretch into one of his smiles.

“Morning, handsome.”

Isak just gives him a look. “Don’t be smug.”

Even’s smile brightens, and he reaches out again; a long arm and a warm, big hand curling around Isak’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. A bad one, tasting of morning breath and placed half on his chin, but isn’t that a testament of everything when it’s still good?

Fact: lying on top of the covers, just kissing is the best thing in the world.

It’s finally good. It wasn’t always. With Even though, it’s so good. Feels safe and right in a way it never did before (– he’s just right; right height, right shape, right smell, right everything – ). Also: the way he doesn’t assume, but stays in tune, senses working, always, to make sure to check what Isak wants, not acknowledging but neither forgetting how much two years can be in terms of experience; how some things can still be scary, no matter how close you get.

He’s considerate, Even. Dictionary definition.

Still. Isak knows this and yet, he can’t bring himself to ask. He’s thought about for weeks now ( – a thought, call it what it is; want, desire even, what the fuck to even call it when he can’t bring himself to articulate it in his mind – ) and the doubt festers; pulsating at his temples when Even’s hand takes hold under his shirt, fingers dipping and out of the hem of his jeans, making him shiver.

This is so good.

And yet.

Even rolls onto his back; letting Isak hover over him as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. And it is. It should be. Isak’s seen him more vulnerable than this (– seen him all but flayed open at this point – ) and yet, it’s still remarkable how easy he makes it look. It makes the contrast between them even more stark. Isak wishes he too could relax like that; settle into himself instead of being a haze around the edges, not knowing where he starts or ends or where his contours even are. He’s gotten better at it: knows where they are when he’s with the boys, mostly when he’s alone, but always when Even’s arms are around him, caging him in, forming him into something he wants to be – what he is.

When he’s alone, it fluxuates. He’s more relaxed now, sure, but it’s still a process.

( – you’ve got to be kind to yourself, Isak, demand things, you’re not a burden I promise – )

Something pulls within; esophagus and stomach in two opposite directions and a lattice laces behind his eyes.

He pulls away.

Even doesn’t follow. Instead, he pushes Isak’s fringe out of his eyes, smiling up at him slightly as he searches for something. “Would you rather do something else?” he asks, a joke hanging in the air when he doesn’t find it.

It nearly makes Isak stiffen; damage control ready to engage, the false explanation ready at the tip of his tongue. Even’s hands are still down the back of his jeans, but there’s a small frown forming between his eyebrows. He knows that Even knows something is up with him, (– but he trusts him enough to let him spill on his own terms and isn’t that just heartbreaking when all Isak wants is for him to just ask so he can spill – )

He knows he’s diverting; Even knows it too. Yet, he doesn’t push.

He’s patient. Dictionary definition.

Isak doesn’t even wish he could be; he just wants to be able to speak his mind, always. Screw this process thing: he’s ready to be done.

Even’s eyes stays on his; silently asking, and Isak can’t, not really, but he makes himself.

“I want to know how it feels.”

It’s soft, cowardly, and cryptic. But blood is rushing in his ears, and his pulse is ticking at his wrists.

At first, Even’s eyes widen. It’s a small thing, and for a second, Isak fears that Even still thinks this is about bones ( – wouldn’t that be just perfect though, something to laugh at, you’ve got to lighten up – ), but then he reaches up again, cradling Isak’s face in his hands.

“You sure?”

Isak closes his eyes, and nods. “Yeah.”


Isak doesn’t answer, words lodged in his throat. Instead, he leans down to kiss Even again, softly and containing the full one word he should say out loud, but can’t. Instead, he lets Even take his upper lip between his own, and it’s such a simple thing, but it sends something warm through him, from head to toe. Not frantic, but just a simple that’s pleasant that has him press his tongue against Even’s just to be close to him.

It resolves: him, face down on the bed. Even’s big hand is steady on his shoulder, minding the pimples that hurt when touched. The other is curled around his hip.

“This is all about you,” he whispers, lips brushing against Isak’s neck, breath warm and soothing behind his ear, over his throat.

He nods, cheek rasping against the pillow case. “I know,” is all he can say, barely audible. If Even asks one more time, he won’t be able to speak; his throat tight with nerves even though he should be – is –  relaxed, should show and not just say how he does want this so badly. Wants to be so close to Even it can’t be undone, despite it being scary.

He can feel Even’s breath on his neck, making the hairs on his arms stand up when he starts mouthing at his neck; the skin behind his ears, the topmost know of his spine ( – the same place where he left his first hickey on Even, the exact same spot – ).

“A little bit about me too, but that’s just because we’re two about this. Like I can’t fuck you if I’m not here, you know. ”

Isaks’ face heats up. It burns. Still, he manages to laugh a bit, and to turn his head to look at Even. His eyes are soft, a bit worried, perhaps, but he’s smiling now too. He’s making soothing circles on Isak’s lower back, and god, Isak loves him so much.

He swallows, curling his fingers ( – the tension concentrating in those joints, the rest of his body languid, it’s okay, you’ve got the right to be nervous, everyone’s nervous, it’s seriously okay – )


It resolves: with him, holding on. It’s the only way to describe it. Even’s fingers in between his, and Isak knows he’s squeezing them too hard, tightening his sweaty hold with every shift, but he needs it ( – needs it so bad because he’s on the verge of unspooling, it feels so good, but he should be scared out of his mind from the intensity of it and maybe he is, but something it overshadowing it – )

It doesn’t hurt, like he’d feared. It’s just. Too much.

His breathing is loud even to his own ears, and he’s mouthing at the back of Even’s hand; tasting his skin just to keep himself grounded here, in this moment. It’s barely been a minute, if that, but he knows he could come now. At the same time, it’d be impossible – that feeling being just out of his reach ( – hooked around his lower spine, somewhere, where he knows it’s exact location and could find it, but he doesn’t want to, he wants it to last, because he’s getting what he wanted and asked for and got – )

A hand around his clammy forehead. Even. Of course. Turning his head a bit, just enough to kiss him properly. It forces him deeper inside, and Isak loses his breath to a gasp, because oh that’s good. Fuck it’s good. Finally it’s so so good. Not just enduring, not that it ever was about that. But it’s finally good; because not only his mind but his whole being knows it’s Even. It’s his hand on his, it’s his shorn ends brushing again Isak’s cheek, his mouth kissing him and him inside, so close it would hurt –

If it wasn’t Even.

It ends: with them. Isak catching his breath against Even’s collar bone ( – the broken one apparently, but it’s been set properly – ) and Even drawing light patterns on his back with the tips of his fingers.

“You okay?”

Isak holds him a little tighter, breathes him in. He is okay, he thinks. Simply, a lot to mull over, once again, but in a different light ( how this is certainly only temporary, them that is, in the grand scheme of things, and how it’s both a blessing and a curse, but how now, Even will always be a first because Isak asked for it and got it because he asked – ) and how, in a way, he’ll always be Isak’s, one way or another.

It’s a soothing thought. Or just the endorphins speaking, he doesn’t know.

He nods. “More than.”

Even places a kiss on top of his head, and Isak feels like sleeping. It’s safe enough here ( – doesn’t get safer to be totally honest – ) that he can let it happen. He closes his eyes, listens to Even’s breathing, to the calm stead rhythm of his heart and –

It ends: the spiral up-rooted.


I’ve learned it all from personal experience. Those tips may not work for you, but they helped me so I thought I could share and maybe help you too.
This is what I do (chronologically I guess) when I study, to optimize time and energy. Also sorry for my English I tried my best

  • You study to remember, so try to avoid passive reading. I recommend not to highlight/underline your text the first time you’re reading it.
  • Collect the more information you can get about one paragraph/chapter at a time and then stop reading.
  • Now try to remember easy concepts and keywords about what you just read (reread if you realised you forgot something)
  • Highlight/underline those concepts in the chapter you read and if you prefer, shortly summarize them (just a few words) next to the paragraph.
  • Repeat what you learned aloud until you’re fluently speaking or you know you’ve got it.
  • If you’re studying for a test, you could avoid repeating the lesson aloud and make flashcards instead.
  • Repeat this phases until you reach the number of pages/chapters you need to do.
  • But remember to take breaks in order to avoid cerebral explosion. Organizing breaks between study sessions is totally up to you and to your capacity of staying focused. The complete concentration may last 20 minutes or 1 hour, so short breaks are cool to make you breathe and gather your strenghts. Don’t study for 2874654876 hours even if it’s for an emergency. It’s scientifically impossible for a human being to stay focused every single minute for a very long time. Even 5 minutes off can help.
  • The next day, before starting to study again, dedicate some time to quickly remember what you did the day before in your mind by reading flashcards or the keywords you’ve highlighted/written.
  • Highlighting almost everything may create a nice piece of coloured art but it can also foster passive reading, specially when you need to revise and read your text again a second time
  • If you read your whole book just to have a complete overview and without repeating/annotating, you may think you fixed concepts in your mind but you didn’t and your revision will become harder. If you want an overview about what you’re going to study you can have a general approach by reading the index. It’s easier and quicker.
  • Fight anxiety the best you can: it’s your worst enemy. Exams are just exams and your health and happiness are definitely more valuable.

Let me know if this helped you, I really really hope so! This is basically my study method or at least the method I use when I don’t procrastinate and I pretend to be a serious person and student.