I want Hallmark to make a card that says:
“I’m sorry for how ashamed of me you must be; I really only want to be someone you could admire.”
I want them to make cards for the friends who don’t hold your hair back when you vomit, but only because you cut your hair so short;
The ones who clean you up and put you to bed after you’ve had too much to drink, and give you two blankets instead of just one.
I need a proper Thank You card for the sort of friends that are few and far between, because a lot of people would just let you fall asleep on the bathroom floor, you know.
A lot of people wouldn’t offer you a cigarette without you having to ask,
And a lot of people would just leave and stay gone after all that shit you tend to drag them into.
You could have spent that night alone;
You could have spent a lot more time bleeding and crying on the street.
You could have said Thank You with your voice and not a Hallmark card because honestly this is getting to be A Little Ridiculous,
But it’s so hard, you know, to say this all out loud, because then you’ll hear it just like it’s happening again, and you think if you let them down one more time that you will just drown and fall to the bottom of Lake Michigan.
And a Thank You card is neater and cleaner and prettier and easier to fit in a mailbox.