i really miss it and i know i should feel bad about it but i don't

anonymous asked:

If the art was that good people would see it anyway. Without the artist needing to reblog it 100 times

I see you’re stemming from liv’s @larvesta own answer about this and I’m not gonna lie, I’m really hesitant about saying anything on the matter bc i don’t do this kind of thing but I realise people actually think this way so here’s a proper answer. 

It doesn’t work that way. I should know, I should really know. People here on Tumblr get lucky often and you wouldn’t think that, especially if you don’t create content yourself. Things just don’t become popular all of a sudden, most of the time it needs to get reblogged by the right person and add the balance between having good content yourself as well as an ongoing status as a creator. Not to mention how you go about treating your followers, your personality and how you act here. And you’ll tell me; “But people with good art have so many notes! It must be because they’re good! See, you don’t need to reblog it so many times!”

I hope you know what it feels like to be an artist here because I do. I especially do. I have talked, reblogged, supported, and have met so many, too many artists here, some insanely obscure. Some whose work looks like it took so many hours and has very little over 50 notes; my work included. And I can tell you now that I can personally handpick and tell you that some of the work I’m most proud of and have took many hours on are not over 200 notes. I’m not saying I’m frustrated by that, because some of us are reassured in our skill but let me tell you that every time I think of a fellow artist out there who releases amazing art and earns very little notes who looks at their note count and wonders if they are good enough, my heart breaks. And there’s young artists who are still getting by, who are not as good yet but took the same amount of effort and time, they deserve to be cheered on. 

Because people think artists here are machines, capable of creating content without regards to who actually appreciates it. No one is like that, artists are fragile just like everyone else and people really forget that. They really do. 

People don’t just see the art out of nowhere, do you understand the huge amount in this platform? There’s millions of work everywhere, you need to be supported to be seen, you need to withstand the thousands of others around you and you might have to create something that’s away from the norm to stand out, you might have to take hours of your time. You don’t know unless you really indulge yourself this platform, you don’t know unless you yourself do work for more than four hours, no breaks and absolutely tired, and look at your note count to see a disheartening number. You have no idea, you really don’t.

And don’t guilt them, please. I could reblog my art so many times, but sometimes the thougt of ‘maybe it gets annoying’ always bears in my mind, artists are made to feel like it’s okay that they’re not being appreciated. I’m proud of those who reblog their art because they know they deserve better, and guess what? They do.  

There’s a difference between good content and popular content, popular content aimed towards a specific audience that you know will like and reblog that. Good content is a dangerous hit and miss. I really appreciate people who do art for things that are not popular, because sometimes they really do have to rely solely on their skills. I say it’s a dangerous hit and miss because you know it might not have that specific audience, but you still take the effort and time into it anyway. Imagine that; knowing something is popular but going for the alternative anyway; taking time, taking effort, putting your all into it. That’s absolutely insane, man. Imagine knowing you can put that time and effort into something popular that might attract way more notes, but still doing something else for the sake of that something else. 

Also there’s the matter of timezones, in which there’s a worldly concept that everyone is in different times and not everyone is here at the same time to see the same content. I don’t want to explain this; please at least understand the concept of time. 

Artists reblog their work because they want others to see it, to appreciate it. Because sometimes it’s the only way others can. Reblogging their own work is an artist’s way of supporting themselves and you think I’m going to let you let them think that that’s a bad thing? That they’re not allowed to do that? Go home, buddy. 

I don’t have anything against anyone, I just wrote this realising that people actually think this is actually how it works and even then, I don’t have anything against you, maybe you’re just misinformed, some just don’t know enough about this to really understand. 

So here it is buds: support artists supporting themselves. It’s as simple as that. 

Tower of Dawn

     So I think it’s time this fandom had a sit-down and talked some things out. Today’s topic: ableism. Before all of y’all start jumping on me and dismissing me and trying to say I have no right to talk about this, let me tell you a bit about myself.

     I was born with spina bifida. For those of you that don’t know that is, it’s when a baby’s spinal chord and nerves don’t develop properly. I had my first surgery to help this condition when I was eight days old. The excess amount of scar tissue in my lower back had begun to wrap around my spinal chord, which for obvious reasons is dangerous. I had the same surgery when I was four years old, and that’s when my life changed forever. I’d been able to walk before using a leg brace, but due to a mistake by the surgeon, my left leg was left paralyzed. I was a normal (and I hate using the word normal here, normal is an absolutely useless construct of society, but for lack of a better word at the moment, bear with me) kid, mobile and able to move around as I pleased, and then I couldn’t. I’ve been using a wheelchair since then. I’m not telling you guys this because I want pity. I don’t. I’ve accepted it as part of my life, and I love myself just the way I am. This little explanation is here so you guys can understand exactly where I’m coming from when you read the rest of this post. So with all this in mind, here goes my not-so-little rant.

     DISCLAIMER: I will be calling people out in this post and tagging them because I am done. 1000%, completely fucking done with this fandom. And if this causes a shitstorm, fuck it, because this needs to be said and this fandom needs to learn to stop being hypocritical pieces of crap.

     I love these books. I love Sarah’s writing in general,  and I would read literally anything she wrote. These books, Aelin’s story, Feyre’s story, are so important to me. I don’t have words to describe how much they mean to me. I love talking about them and healthy and constructive conversations about them. And some of the jokes that have been made  by the fandom are some of favorites. I’ve made some of them myself. I’ll joke alongside all of you about wingspans and gold nightgowns for as long as you want.

     I want to make something perfectly clear: this rant is in no way a reflection of my thoughts about her books. This post is exclusively about the fandom’s disgusting behavior.

     So let’s start with this post that I saw earlier.



     Disability is not kinky.

     For those of you that can’t understand that, let me repeat it.

     Disability is not kinky.

     DISABILITY. IS. NOT. KINKY.

     This whole post is horrifyingly ableist. And before you guys start claiming that “I have disabled relatives, I can’t be ableist!” (@rowan-stole-my-heart, I’m looking at you. Remember that conversation last year? Nice to know you’re still disgusting), that’s like saying “I have African-American friends, therefore I can’t be racist!”, which is such an inherently flawed line of arguing that it would require a whole other post to address, so I’ll just say don’t try it. I can’t even begin to fathom the mental process all of these people went through to think that this was even remotely acceptable in any way, shape, or form, so let me break this down and explain to you why this isn’t.

     This, my horrifyingly inconsiderate friends, is a form of fetishism. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fetishism is the pathological displacement of erotic interest and satisfaction to a fetish. Now that you know what that is, let’s move on.

     This whole fandom has been complaining about a lack of diversity in Sarah’s books since I joined the fandom. Diversity doesn’t just mean POC, which is exactly what this fandom conveniently forgets. Diversity includes POC, people with mental illness, people with physical disability, LGBT+ people, and so much more. And when Sarah finally adds someone who embodies a slice of that diversity, you all have the gall to reduce his situation to sex jokes. All I can say is how dare you. How dare you reduce someone’s life and reality to a kink, to something to be made fun of, to something that spices up your dash and makes it NSFW just because you wanted to make fun of a book cover you probably weren’t satisfied with. In doing so you are insulting the thousands upon thousands of people that are in the same situation. You’re reducing them – reducing me – to a fantasy that you can use and then dismiss the next moment, without regard for anyone’s feelings. Do you have any idea how difficult of a topic sex is for people with disabilities? We are laughed at for wanting sex. Our anxiety when it comes to that is ten times that of any able-bodied person, simply because we don’t fit into the box that society wants to shove everyone into. And you’re making it that much worse because you have the audacity to think the fact that someone can’t move their legs is funny.

     It hurts. Reading that post hurt like hell. Because in your eyes – in society’s eyes – people like me aren’t human. We’re just something to ride, right? Yeah, I didn’t miss that little gem of a comment, @readinglikewildfire.

     And because I know this is coming, no, Chaol isn’t just a character.

     But you know what, I get it. It’s just sex, right? A small joke made, no harm done.

     Wrong.

     You’re perpetuating yet another harmful concept cooked up by a disgustingly ableist society. Sorry, but your privilege and utter ignorance are showing. I will concede a bit and agree that we can treat fiction for what it is – something that isn’t real – up to a certain point. But you guys just crossed a line. For those of you saying that you feel guilty for laughing, you absolutely fucking should, because this shit isn’t funny.

     The fact is if that post had been making fun of race or mental illness, then the fandom would have ripped these people to shreds and they would have been reported many, many times over. But it’s not, and instead I can count on my fingers the number of people that stood up to say this was wrong, because it’s just another wheelchair joke, right? Who cares? To those that did, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, especially @throne-of-omg-the-feels and @midnight-wonder.​ It’s nice to know there’s still some hope for humanity left. And to @nerdperson524, I agree with you. People do need a laugh, even those that live their lives stuck in chairs. But that post? It’s downright offensive.

     So that’s it. I’m done blowing things out of proportion, as some of you will say. If you think I should have approached you privately and messaged you about this instead of publicly calling you out, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have PUBLICLY insulted mocked degraded an entire subset of the human population. And maybe that makes me a bad person. It certainly means I’m not being the bigger person. And I could honestly care less. I am tired. So sick and tired of constantly being the bigger person, of just staying quiet when I see things like this because what’s the use? The entire world is filled with this shit and it’s not like I can fight every time I see this kind of injustice. Nothing’s going to change, no matter what I do. But this? This is where I draw the line. Congratulations.


@crochanblackbeak @feysandsmut @the-bookish-soul @rowan-buzzard-whitethorn @abraxoswyvernnn @carrion-princess

kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

SIGNS AS LOVELY LITTLE LONELY  SONGS *the maine*

aries - the sound of reverie
“It may be bittersweet / 'cause we’re no longer / seventeen, but we’re still young / so dance with me in naivety / and follow endlessly / in reverie”

taurus - how do you feel?
“Are you complete or is something missing? / so tell me / do your hands shake? / does your heart break? / when the earth quakes / whatever it is / whatever it isn’t / make sure that it’s real”

gemini - lonely
“the lovely little loneliness / would hold me down / under the sound of being found / but then it all turned around”

cancer - lost in nostalgia
“Don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no / turn something softer and lighter, yeah / don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no / it’s not too late, it’s not too late no”

leo - taxi
“I can’t say that I can make you feel / complete or free from your worry / but believe me when I tell you / "babe, you’ll never be lonely" / don’t you understand? / you won’t be alone again”

virgo - (un)lost (it’s from American Candy bc LLL doesn’t have twelve songs)
“With my eyes closed this feels like home / adrift in my own head / and all I really know is / whatever this is it doesn’t get easier”

libra - i only wanna talk to you
“You see yesterday, I said tomorrow / I learned today, tomorrow can’t be saved / and the less you know the more / you say you’re / broken, beaten / used and mistreated / tired, shattered / bruised and battered / the only thing I’m really sure of / I’m unsure about almost everything”

scorpio - black butterflies and dèjà vu
“Everytime I think of you / you crash like a rolling wave / you come around I lose my brain / can’t find the sound under my tongue / when I look at you”

sagittarius - bad behavior
“You’re insecure but don’t be / stay soft but don’t be gentle / it’s altogether mental / let’s go to a place where / we can forget we haven’t left the room yet”

capricorn - little
“Since life would be shitty before we move forward / I feel a sense of goodness sinking inside me / trembling in my soul / you should know / I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for”

aquarius - don’t come down
“To the lows and every high / he hellos and the goodbyes / In this moment, I could die with you / and we’re never going down / never felt like this feel before / dizzy, drunk, and beautiful / in this moment, I let go with you”

pisces - do you remember (the other half of 23)
“Do you remember / the days we were golden / we would surrender / to just letting go / for worse or for bette / far from pretenders / we said forever / forever ago / do you remember?”

Why Tony Stark deserves better
  • When he realised his equipment was causing so much damage, he chose to change direction, even when everyone was telling him he was “crazy” from the kidnapping, but apparently he’s “selfish”
  • He said that he “shouldn’t be alive” and that’s why he wanted to change and do something different with his life
  • He had nightmares after NY (where Steve told him it was a one-way trip and he nearly died), suffered from PTSD, but of course no one cares about these minor details, and JARVIS died as well, but again, who cares?? It’s not like they knew how important Jarvis was
  • Steve actually stood there, saying “you’re keeping secrets from me, I can’t believe this”, and then he goes onto NOT tell Tony that Bucky killed his parents, which, because he’s not thick, he knows is something Tony is extremely sensitive about, but apparently this is all in the past and we shouldn’t focus on that
  • Tony says he’ll help Steve, and then finds out about his parents, and tries to kill Bucky, but apparently he should’ve ‘controlled himself’ and ‘over-reacted’, because you know, it’s just a video showing his parents getting murdered by the person he’s standing right next to, no biggie
  • Let’s talk about shithead Clint saying you should “watch your back” with Tony because “there’s a chance he’ll break it”, where he’s referring to Rhodey. Really? And Natasha’s whole double-agent thing. So Tony was the one being being too violent? Tell me more.
  • And it’s sad that Peter was sent home, because when Tony recruited him, he was probably like “oh we’ll just try and stop them with a friendly fight” but nah, because TeamCap doesn’t care and Steve wants to crush Peter with a truck, and paralyse Rhodey in the process
  • Because Steve, who awoke after 70 years, thinks he knows everything and knows that those 117 countries are the ones that are wrong, and this gives him the right to do whatever he wants, with no regards to any consequences, because apparently he can never be wrong
  • Because Steve, the righteous person he is, had the decency to send Tony a letter saying “I’m sorry, but not really because everyone likes ME now, so call us if you need us, I guess I’ll drop by, because see? I’m a giving person.”
  • Even that line - “I don’t want you roaming around by yourself” like Steve, kindly gtfo, you missed the “because I decided to breakup the Avengers because I’m better than everyone else and I know what’s best for everyone even though 117 countries may disagree”.
  • Steve didn’t deserve the shield. The “Howard made it for Steve, not Tony” excuse is bs, because YES, I’m sure if Howard was there and knew Steve’s friend was gonna murder him and nearly kill his son he’d say “well, I guess I made it for you, so sure, take it.” Uh huh. UH HUHHH
  • Tony was dropping Peter off, joking around with him, making video vlogs, because he didn’t want to tell him that his best friend nearly killed him - and he tried his best to keep him out of trouble, prepare him for anything (+ the training wheels protocol thing), even if it meant taking the suit, because he said that “if you die, it’s on me” but nah, he’s a bad role model and only cares about himself.
  • Aaand lastly, did Tony not try, and try, and try, to find a middle ground? He was there telling Steve to sign or do something, but nah, that thickhead was like “soz can’t do it, don’t even wanna consider it”, but sure, it was Tony who betrayed everyone, because he didn’t warn them about what would happen if they…you know…broke the damn law

I could go on, but you get the point. 

More Like Her || Archie Andrews

Originally posted by jubillee

word count :

pairing : Archie Andrews x Reader

warnings : upset reader, bitchiness??

summary : You’ve been friends with the gang for all your life, even dating Archie, you thought you’d like Veronica like everyone else but you start to think Archie is cheating on you with her so that’s not okay.

a/n : thanks you all for requesting for being on my tag list, but for now i will not be adding more people. also, i was listening to this song, it might put a good mood setter for this imagine! 

posting schedule : wednesday, friday, sunday!


     You thought she was a nice girl. Everyone thought Veronica would make a nice addition to your group of friends, you thought that Ronnie was cool that she would fit in nicely. You thought that for a while before you started to pick up on some things that never would add up in a normal person’s mind.

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anonymous asked:

hi, I'm sorry if I am bothering you but I really need advice. I have a friend who I don't wanna hang out with anymore because I don't think it's healthy friendship. She can either make me feel like the luckiest person or the worst human being on earth. i've tried breaking up our friendship but she manages to make me stay and make it seem like it's my fault. how do i manage to get out of the situation without feeling like it's my fault?

Hi cutie !! No need to be sorry, you aren’t being a bother at all. Know that what you’re going through right now is not easy, and it can definitely be a very emotional process even after that person is out of your life. It’s important to be patient with yourself.

Sometimes, it’s can be helpful to openly talk about your honest feelings with the person (consider writing a letter instead), but realistically some people won’t make an effort to change. If they don’t respect your boundaries now, it’s unlikely that they will later. It’s never your responsibility to remain in their life. If you choose to speak to them in person, I recommend doing it in a public place.

If you’re ready to cut them off for good, here’s what you should remember:

• Feeling guilty is actually totally normal. You’re a human being who doesn’t want to hurt another person- but putting your own health and happiness first is absolutely essential. We do crave and need friendships, but not all of them.

• Missing them is another normal part of moving on. Know that you can still miss all the amazing things and memories about the person while letting go of the bad things.

• Don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation. If you want to explain, that’s more than okay. Just remember to be honest because your feelings are not up for debate. If you prefer, you can tell them simply that you drifted apart, or that you don’t want them in your life anymore.

• Block and delete them anywhere and everywhere on social media. Delete your past messages, photographs, etc. This step is usually the hardest for me personally. Remember, you don’t have to be sentimental.

• The likelihood is that the person will try to find out why you’re ignoring them. They may try manipulative tactics to get you to talk to them. You still don’t have to engage.

• Just because you aren’t talking to someone anyone, does not mean you can’t wish them love and luck.

• Make an effort to reconnect with others and make new friends who make you feel good, but most importantly take the time to concentrate on yourself.

Some other posts that may be helpful to you:

how can I focus on recovery when everyone is bringing me down
how to tell if someone is actually a toxic person

Cutting a toxic person from your life is an act of self care. You are not a bad person for putting yourself first, darling. 💖🌷

Miracle Mistake

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: Angst little fluff I kinda cried a little writing it

Words: 1430


  You were only teenagers. You shouldn’t have done what you did.

  Peter Parker, your crush since you could remember, asked you out, finally mid junior year. You thought you’d bounce off the walls. He was so cute, his smile so bright and relief filled when you said yes. Was there really any wonder you fell for him in the first place?

  Two years. Two amazing, wonderful years you dated him. He was the sweetest boyfriend ever. It wasn’t perfect all the time, nothing ever is, but it was as close as you thought possible. The dates were never big except on birthdays or anniversaries. They mostly consisted of movies at home, homemade meals, grabbing take out to go on a picnic, or cuddle sessions sometimes during movies. It didn’t matter what you did together. You were together, that’s what mattered.

  Right after graduation, he proposed to you. It felt like when he first asked you out. You said yes, obviously.

  Then, college happened. He still had the “internship” (you knew about that since you guys started dating) along with classes, so you rarely had time to be together, except for days off and school breaks.

  And, one day, the break got steamy.

  You were both nineteen, been dating for almost three years. You thought it was overdue, but maybe it’d help him relieve stress.

  That worked, too well.

  Peter left during summer vacation, telling you the Avengers had a huge problem that he had to help with. While it wasn’t common for him to be called in a lot now (Tony wanted him to focus on school more), you knew by the look in his eyes he had to go. He wanted to help save the world. The next day, you kiss him, tell him to be safe, and start praying to anyone to bring him back safe.

  Three days later find you heaving into the toilet. Since it was school break, Peter’s aunt, May, let you stay with her in Peter’s room. She held your hair back, but you couldn’t help thinking it should be Peter there instead.

  “Honey, do you feel okay?” May asked you quietly, rubbing your back as you use a wet rag to clean your face from the sweat.

  “I…I don’t know, May…I don’t feel like I’m sick, but…I don’t know. I miss Peter. Could that be it?”

  She pressed a hand against your forehead and shook her head. “No fever, so maybe it’s a stomach bug. Should go away in a few days.”

  You nodded, taking her advice to nibble on some crackers, drink some soft drinks, and rest. When you didn’t stop getting sick every morning, and sometimes more during the day, she drove you to the doctor’s office. You were both stunned when the doctor revealed you were pregnant.

  Pregnant. You were having Peter’s child. And he wasn’t here to know.

  You spent the rest of the day locked in his room crying on his bed, finding photos he’d taken of you and others someone else had taken of both of you. There were even a few you took, though they weren’t nearly as good as his. One was him trying to wrestle the camera out of your hand, another was him laughing with an adorable nose scrunch.

  God, you missed him

  You were three months along when you heard news that the Avengers were back in New York and you hailed the first cab you could to go to Stark Tower. You were barely showing through Peter’s old sweatshirt, which is why you were wearing it then. The Avengers were just heading inside, but you yell out at them and stop them. Tony recognized you first, Peter brought you around a couple times to the lab. You saw his face drop as he wasn’t in his suit, which only made your heart drop as well.

  “Mr. Stark?” you asked softly, clasping your hands together as some of his team stop to look at you.

  “Yes, ma’am?”

  “Where is he? Where’s Peter?” you asked so only he could hear you.

  He stayed deathly quiet until it hit you. Peter wasn’t there. He wasn’t going to be there.

  He was never coming back home to you.

  “I’m sorry, miss. We tried to tell him it was too dangerous, that we were regrouping, but he wouldn’t listen. He was determined to finish the mission and…come home to you.”

  One hand covered your mouth as the other arm wrapped around your stomach. You felt ill, but it wasn’t baby ill. All you could think about was how badly he must’ve tried to come back, to fight as hard as he could to just get it done with.

  Tony reached into his back pocket and pulled out Peter’s mask, holding it out to you. “He wanted you to have it. To have something of his.”

  You choked on a sob as you took it, holding it to your chest. Tony scratched the back of his head awkwardly, feeling extremely bad for telling you you had lost the love of your life. He had his own chauffer to drive you home since you couldn’t put the mask away and it’d be weird for other people to see you with Spider-Man’s mask.

  May opened the door to see you bawling, holding the mask. She pulled you into a tight hug and pulled you inside, hushing you softly to calm you down. You sobbed against her, wanting nothing to do with life for the rest of your life. Then you remembered the child inside of you and you, with May’s help, pulled yourself together enough to function.

  Which is why you’re currently sitting with your back against a stone outside, the grass tickling your legs, a new ultrasound in hand. You smile softly as you trace the outline of your baby, then your fingers skip over to the outline of the other baby nearly hidden behind the first.

  “I bet you’re tired of me coming by and talking about this every couple days or weeks,” you whisper to yourself, tipping your head back to look at the sky. “I just can’t help it. I’m scared, but also excited. I mean, there’s twins, Pete. Can you believe it?” You laugh softly, tucking the picture back into your pocket.

  Your hands trace the now noticeable stretch of your stomach. How you wish he was here with you.

  “I was thinking of names, you know?” your voice sounds small even to yourself. “And…I wanted to name one Ben. Well, Benjamin. But call him Ben. I think you would’ve liked that.” You take a deep breath to keep your voice even. “Benjamin Peter Parker. It sounds really cute. I also found out that they’re twin boys, so…the other one is Michael Scott Parker. Um, Aunt May came up with Scott, but…Michael was my dad. You know what happened with that. A-anyway…yeah. I’m giving them your last name.”

  Wiping some of the tears that had streaked your cheeks without you knowing. It hurt. It really did. All that you’d ever hoped for was a life with your crush, your boyfriend, your fiancé. The father of your twins. You let out a quiet sob as you turn to look at the headstone you’d been leaning against, tracing the name on it.
“I don’t even know where the Avengers had you buried…if I knew that…I might have closure…but I can’t ask Stark again. I can’t face him after what he told me.” You lean your head against the cold stone, almost imagining it as Peter, holding you close. “I miss you…my hero…I wish you didn’t have to be one…you’re amazing, Pete. I hate that you had to be a hero like that…”

  You sit up, resting your hands on your stomach to feel one of them kick gently, a small smile gracing your lips. “I love you. Always will. Thank you for everything you’ve ever down for me, Peter…I won’t let you down. I promise you and these boys. Plus, I have your aunt. That’s how I know they’ll be amazing…because she raised you.”

  You press a small kiss to the headstone before standing up and walking back to your car, wiping off the rest of the tears off your cheeks. You can do this. You have to do this for Peter.

  You don’t even notice or feel the eyes following you as you leave the cemetery.

  You were teenagers and you shouldn’t have done it, but you wouldn’t change it at all. Your mistake turned into a miracle. And that’s how it’s staying for you.


Tell me if I should do a part two cuz I got an idea for it!!! Also, if you wanna be tagged, shoot me an ask!

Tags: @captainswriting

—more touken headcanons 💍

here’s some touken headcanons to help you quench the otp thirst, inspired by ch130 (ノ´ヮ`)ノ*: ・゚


—I.

it’s still hard for Touka&Kaneki to find moments to spend together, alone, without goat members disrupting them, Tsukiyama dragging Kaneki to discuss mission strategies or Nishiki giving Touka a weird&suspicious glance (—the “i know your secret” type of glances—) from the distance that drives her insane. Sometimes they just have to briefly hold hands under a wooden table in the middle of a meeting, or sweetly brush each other’s bangs with their fingertips—instead of a goodbye kiss—before taking different paths, both ready to keep working, Touka catching Kaneki’s last stare to her as he disappears through the door, a “i wish i could stay with you longer” type of stare. But Touka is quite an optimist, and she doesn’t give up so easily. Whenever she sees Kaneki brewing coffee by himself, she silently walks towards him to wrap her arms around his waist from behind, resting her chin against his shoulder. It’s something her mother&father used to do, she recalls; the memory of her mother sweetly wrapping her arms around her father while making coffee in the kitchen was something she always looked at in wonder. They wouldn’t say anything, a silence louder than words, and holding each other was more than enough for the both of them.

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Secret Love Song - A Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 1)

The sound of your phone ringing woke you up causing you to groan. You reached over to pick it up from the nightstand and saw that it was your boss. You sighed sitting up in bed and sliding to answer your phone.

“Hello?” You said quietly.

“Y/N! Thank god! Okay, are you available this morning?” She asked.

“Uh… yeah, why?” You asked.

“Madison is sick and she had an interview at BBC Radio scheduled and I need you to take her place,” she said.

“Sure, I can do it. What time?” You asked looking over at your clock.

“Well, you have to be there in an hour,” she said.

Seriously? How did she expect you to get ready, drive there, and be prepared for the interview in less than an hour?

“Okay, I’ll be there,” you said.

“Thank you!! This is such a huge interview for us, so I’m so glad we don’t have to cancel it. I owe you big time!” She said.

You ended the call and then quickly got out of bed and went into your closet. You through on some black jeans, a nice top and a blazer along with some heels before quickly throwing your hair in a bun and putting on a bit of makeup.

Once you were ready to go, you grabbed your bag and notebook and headed out the door.

**

You arrived at the studio and showed your press pass. Your boss sent you an email with all the information and questions that Madison had prepared, so once you checked in you sat down and scanned over everything.

Your face flushed when you saw the name of who you would be interviewing.

Harry Styles.

Shit.

Freaking out was an understatement at this point. You were used to interviewing celebrities and other semi-famous people, but this was the first time you were interviewing someone of this caliber and someone you were a fan of.

If you weren’ t already nervous, you definitely were now and after reading Madison’s question, you knew that you couldn’t ask these.

You checked the time and saw that you had about fifteen minutes before your scheduled time, so you quickly took out your notebook and started writing down different questions.

This interview was supposed to be about his new single and album as a solo artist, so all the questions you were writing down were revolved around that.

“Y/N?” Harry’s PR came said walking over to you.

“Hi, yes,” you said standing up and holding out your hand.

“Hey, we’re ready for you, now,” she said.

“Great,” you said grabbing your things and following her into the room.

With each step you took, your nerves started to take over. You were starting to feel sick yourself, but it was much too late to turn around and go the other way.

Plus, you wouldn’t want to make a bad impression by leaving and being unprofessional.

She opened the door and let you walk in before her. When you walked into the room, you saw Harry standing over to the side talking with a few people and drinking some water.

“You can just have a seat right over there,” she told you pointing to one of the chairs in the middle of the room.

You nodded and went over to the first chair. You set your bag down and took out your notebook and favorite pen. You also grabbed your phone and set it up to record the interview in case you missed a few things while you were taking notes.

You were just getting everything set up when you felt someone walking up behind you. You turned around and saw Harry Styles standing there with a smile on his face and his hand stretched out.

“Hello, I’m Harry,” he smiled.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you said. “I’m from “Y/Magazine/N.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m ready whenever you’re ready,” he said.

“Oh, I’m just about set up, so if you want to just have a seat or something… that’s fine,” you told him.

“I’m just going to grab some water, would you like one?” He asked.

“S-Sure, Yeah, if you don’t mind,” you said.

“Course not,” he smiled before walking back over to the table of food and drinks to grab two bottles of water.

When he came back, you took the water bottle from him and your hands gently touched causing your face to blush fifty shades of red.

You cleared your throat and sat down in your chair while Harry sat in his in front of you.

“Okay, I’m just going to press record on here,” you say mostly to yourself and then you look up at Harry. “So, Harry, first I want to say thank you for coming today.”

“No problem, thank you for having me,” he smiled.

“Let’s start off with how’s your day going so far?” You asked.

“It’s going great. A little nerve wracking, but for the most part it’s been amazing,” he said. “What about you? How’s your day?”

“It’s going pretty well,” you nod with a smile. “Now, for all the people who might not know about this, why don’t you tell us a little bit about your new single that’s coming out in a few days.”

“Well, it’s coming out April 7th and it’s called Sign Of The Times. I’m really looking to it finally coming out. I’ve been waiting for this time for awhile now and now that’s its finally time, I can’t wait for everyone to hear it,” he answered.

“I’m sure everyone is just as excited if not more to hear it as well,” you smiled.

“Would you like to hear it?” He asked.

“Sure, if that’s okay,” You said.

“Of course it’s okay, I want to know what you think about it and I’m sure everyone will want to know about it in the interview too,” he smiled.

“True,” you nodded.

Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He typed in his password and scrolled through before you start to hear music filling the air of the room.

Once the final note of the song played out, Harry looked over at you. His eyes were trying to meet with yours, but they were having a hard time probably from the nerves of waiting on your opinion.

“Wow. That was really good,” you smiled. “I mean wow, I’m speechless.”

“I’m going to take that as a good sign,” he smiled.

You nodded with a laugh.

About an hour later, your time was up. You stood up and held out your hand.

“Thanks again. It was really nice meeting you and your song is really beautiful. Congratulations,” you smiled to him.

“Thank you, it means a lot that you enjoyed it,” he smiled. “And it was very nice to meet you.”

“Well, I should better get going. I’m sure you have more interviews to do,” you said packing up your things.

“Actually, you were my last one of the day,” he smiled. “Grimmy and I were just about to head out for some lunch.”

“Oh, well, I don’t want to keep you from that either, so I’ll be out in a bit,” you said.

“This might be a bit forward, but do you have any lunch plans?” He asked.

“I’ll probably just grab something nearby,” you shrugged.

“Would you want to join us for lunch?” Harry suggested.

That came out of the fucking blue.

“Um, I don’t know if that’s professional,” you blushed. “I mean, I would love too, but I don't’ know how my boss would look at that since you’re technically a client.”

“Oh, right, yeah I didn’t even think of that,” he blushed running his hand through his hair.

“Sorry,” you sighed.

“No, no, I understand,” he said.

“What if I invited you?” Nick said from the other side of the room. “I’m not your client, so if I invited you out to lunch and Harry just happened to be there… “ he suggested.

“He makes a valid point,” Harry smirked.

“That he does, but I would hate to intrude on your plans though,” you said putting your bag over your shoulder.

“It’s fine really, I don’t mind and it’s obvious that Harry doesn’t mind,” Nick smirked putting his arm around his shoulder.

You looked at the time before looking up at them. “Well, I guess I do need to eat at some point today, right?” You laughed.

“Exactly!” Nick said. “We’re going to a place just down the street, you’re more than welcome to walk with us.”

“Sure, sounds great,” you said.

**

The walk to the restaurant was a little awkward, mostly because of you. You couldn’t believe that you were going out to lunch with Harry Styles right now and that he was the one who asked.  

Maybe he was just being polite and after the lunch, he wouldn’t want anything else to do with you. Or maybe he was hoping you would write a better article about him if he took you out to lunch? 

Honestly, whatever the reason didn’t matter in that moment because you just needed to focus on not making yourself seem like an idiot. 

When you get to the restaurant, Harry opens the door and holds it open for you. 

“Thanks,” you smiled walking through the doorway. 

“No problem,” he said. 

You all sit down at a table and look over the menu before ordering. The waitress takes your menus and you take a sip of your water. 

“So, Y/N, since you spent the last hour talking about Harry, why don’t you spend some time to talk about yourself?” Nick said looking over at you. 

“Oh, no, I don’t really like talking about myself.” you said shaking your head. 

“Neither do I,” Harry laughed. 

You giggled. “Well, if I have to, why don’t you two ask me questions and I’ll answer them. Let me be the interviewee for once,” 

“We can do that,” Nick smirked. 

“How long have you been a journalist?” Harry asked. 

“Professionally, almost four years,” you answered. 

“Wow, so what made you want to be in journalism?” He asked. 

“I’ve always enjoyed writing since I was younger and I worked for school newspapers, and when it came to University, journalism was a better degree option than a creative writing one,” you shrugged. 

“Do you not enjoy being a journalist?” Nick asked. 

“It’s not exactly that. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love being able to do what I do, but despite popular belief interviewing celebrities wasn’ t exactly the type of journalism I wanted to get into. No offense,” you coughed. 

“None taken,” Harry says. “What type of journalism would prefer?” 

“I guess one that has a bit more meaning, like traveling the world and helping others while writing about my experiences there and things like that,” you blushed. 

“Why haven’t you tried that?” Harry asked. 

“Because unfortunately, that type of journalism doesn’t exactly pay the bills. When I was in university, I got the internship at the magazine company I’m working with now, there aren’t many traveling journalist jobs available,” you shrugged. 

“Well, don’t give up on that, hopefully, one day you’ll be able to do it,” Harry smiled over at you. 

“I hope so,” you smiled. 

**

After you all finished eating lunch, you get out your wallet to pay, but Harry puts his hand over yours. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry said. 

“Are you sure?” You said. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said. “But if anyone asks, he paid for it.” Harry nodded over to Nick with a smirk. 

You sighed but nodded with a laugh. Once the ticket was paid for, you all head out to leave. You walk back to the studio, where your car is, which happens to be parked right next to Harry’s. 

Nick had already gone back inside the studio, so it was just you and Harry standing near your cars. 

“Just so you know, I don’t usually do this,” Harry said leaning up against his car. 

“Do what?” You asked confused. 

“Go to lunch with a journalist, who interviewed me,” he said. “And I’m not saying that you would, but our lunch and now is completely off the record right?” 

“Of course, I would never do something that,” you said quickly. 

“I know, I just wanted to make sure,” he smiled. “And I know this might be a bit of an issue for you, but I really want to see you again.” 

“You do?” you said. “For like an interview?” 

“No, I mean just to hang out again, maybe dinner next time?” He asked. 

“Oh, um, I don’t know. I would like to, but like I said earlier…” you said. 

“I understand,” he sighed kicking his boot against the pavement of the parking lot. 

You bit the inside of your cheek. “How about this? We could exchange numbers and keep in touch?” You suggested. “But I don’t know about going out in public…” 

Harry looked up at you smiling. “I think I can handle that.” 

He handed you his phone and you added yourself into his contacts and he did the same in yours before you exchanged them back. 

“Well, I better get to the office so I can start typing up your article,” you said. 

“I can’t wait to read it,” he smiled. 

“Maybe I’ll send you a copy before it gets published,” you smirked. 

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he said. 

“Have a nice rest of the day, Harry,” you smiled with a wave. 

“See you around, Y/N,” Harry said before the two of you got into your own cars. 

He motioned for you to pull out first, so you did and drove straight to your office with the biggest smile on your face. While Harry drove to his house, wearing a matching smile. 

anonymous asked:

If u don't use ot4 or ot5 to denote whether something was before or after Zayn left or whether a gif/photo contains all 5 boys vs 4 because it was after March 2015, then what do you use for tagging?? Or like, if it was up to u what would u want everyone to tag things as?

Oh, it’s much deeper than tagging.  It’s really the issue of the fandom either A) not thinking critically at all, or B) being hypocritical about what they apply logic to.  It’s also about people, no matter what they think happened (Zayn’s leaving wasn’t fishy vs. Zayn’s leaving being super fucking fishy), being willing to immediately believe the worst about someone they should already know the true good character of.

In more specific terms, it’s about the fandom buying everything the media and the narrative says about Zayn without valuing logic and the things Zayn says from his own mouth more.  It’s about fans willfully interpreting everything related to Zayn as negative, deciding they have a grudge against him because of those perceived “slights”, and then erasing and demonizing him in equal measure.

To state a surprising truth, there isn’t a single person in this fandom that believes everything the narrative says about One Direction.  They probably think they do, but they don’t.  I’ve seen people who constantly mock the idea of a narrative or a constructed media image and yet they still push back when the boys are said to be dating someone that’s not confirmed, said to have been rude, said to be doing odd things (sheep placenta facials anyone?), said to have a bad relationship with each other, said to be violent or on drugs, etc.  

The thing is, people THINK they believe everything is simple and truthful, but at a basic level, they have their own beliefs about who the boys are based on what they’ve seen in interviews.  If those conflict with what they’re told, they scoff at what’s being fed to them.

This is fact and yet a large chunk of the fandom had very little problem turning around and believing everything bad the media said about Zayn, even when the things he himself said and did were so different from that.  

“so grateful” and “loved what we did as a boyband”

“I don’t think I woulda done anything different”

“there was no contingency” and “my band’s been really supportive, they’ve been really cool about it”

“it was nice to look back at the memories we shared together” and “ok, you’re saying that” (this requires tone interpretation, but his tone is “don’t agree, yeah, ok, whatever, shut up” rather than “I agree with you and I’m being coy about it”)

“you don’t want to feel that you’re being lied to, not that I was lying, it’s just that them songs didn’t really fit my style of singing, so I wasn’t really 100% confident in the way that I was singing back then”

What Zayn said in person didn’t at all match up with the headlines the newspapers kept running and the words they kept putting in his mouth.

A specific example is this whole thing that people believe Harry and Zayn have a problem when NEITHER. HARRY. NOR. ZAYN. EVER. SAID. A. BAD. WORD. OR. SHOWED, SIGNS. OF. TENSION.  

I can understand believing Louis and Zayn fought a little bit more (even though evidence suggests the Twitter fight was all a planned show), but the only things that ever happened with Harry and Zayn were some BS news articles with no source and Harry making a few jokes about the unnecessary tension and glee the interviewers had when talking about Zayn.

Up until the very last show Zayn was at, he and Harry were acting normal and close. Even after Zayn’s last show, Harry was right there with the other boys in leaving space for Zayn on stage.  Even after THAT, Harry was involved in things that referenced Zayn in a positive way.

(When a fan showed Harry this picture of Zayn in concert)

There is NO basis for believing there’s an issue between Zayn and Harry, yet the fandom believes it because it’s what the press has said.  They apparently want to believe it since there’s been little to no pushback.

This is my problem with group A.

My problem with group B is all of that plus they DO know how to see everything I’m pointing out; they know and they choose not to bother with it if it doesn’t apply to Harry and Louis.  That’s even worse.  There’s no way to miss what’s going on since it’s entangled with the other boys.  It’s even harder to miss since there’s a good core of bloggers here that always gather evidence, do the hard legwork, and make posts about it.  

With the ability to reason, there should only be 2 divisions in fandom: those who believe the narrative no questions asked and those who don’t.  Instead, there are those who believe the narrative no questions asked, those who believe it about some and not others, and those who question and examine everything.

“OT4″ and “all 4 boys” are heavily associated with the erasure of Zayn from the band- even the pre-March 25 band-, the degradation of Zayn’s character, failures of logic, gross hypocrisy, and the diminishment of the amazing bond OT5 share.  

I understand and acknowledge that not all people using it have those intentions or participate in those actions (which is why it doesn’t bother me as much when people I follow and know have good intentions use it), but so many do that it leaves a terrible taste in my mouth every time I see it.  Zayn’s career prospects, personal desires, name, and reputation have been so unfairly and so badly abused that the injustice of it makes me furious. Anything connected to it makes me furious and that’s why “OT4″ and “all 4 boys” has that affect on me.

It’s not something I’m expecting everyone would use, but @paynoisbatman uses “zayn’s boys” when there are 4, or “liam’s boys” if Liam’s the one missing, etc.  It’s a great way of showing that the missing member is still important and is still part of the love all 5 share.  When it comes to “all 4 boys”, you simply have to drop the “all”.  It might take a tiny bit more typing, but it’s worth it to represent the situation accurately and honor the contributions of and bond between all 5.

anonymous asked:

I know prompts are closed and I feel bad about asking this but my girlfriend just broke up with me because she doesn't have enough time in her life for me so could you maybe write something about Maggie feeling like Alex doesn't have time for her and Alex comforts her? I just need someone to have a happy ending that I didn't get. But if you don't have time don't worry about writing it.

It’s always the other way around.

She’s always the one accused of putting work ahead of the relationship, always accused of not caring enough – even though she bends over backwards, every day, every night, every moment in between, to be as affectionate as she can be, to be as thoughtful as she can be, even when she’s exhausted, even when she’s a nervous wreck, even when god this really has to get done, but she needs to know she means something to me – but now?

Now that she’s dating a secret agent with a superhero for a sister?

Now, she thinks she knows a little bit what it feels like.

And she understands, she does. She truly, truly does. Because their jobs are so different, but they’re also so the same.

So when Alex’s workplace is on lockdown and she misses their first concert together, she gets it.

And when Alex gives her a quick kiss and a grimace and a promise to make it up to her and sprints to the DEO in the middle of dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city because Kara – well, Supergirl – needs something that only Alex can give, she understands.

And when Alex leaves early – so early the sun isn’t even up yet – and Maggie wakes up to a cold, empty bed, she’s not angry.

(Especially because Alex leaves the sweetest notes: You’re so beautiful while you sleep, princess, I didn’t want to disturb you; I can’t wait to see you tonight, beautiful; Thank you for an amazing, amazing, mind-blowing night (I always thought that was an exaggeration. Thank you for proving my hypothesis wrong, Detective); There’s coffee and a dry double-toasted bagel (gross) on the table for you, beautiful.)

So it’s not Alex. Truly, it’s not.

It’s the ghosts of everyone else – everyone else who’s left her, everyone else who’s done everything in their power to prove she isn’t worth anyone’s time, anyone’s effort, anyone’s real love – that seep into her head, her heart, and twist her stomach into knots.

So when Alex comes home – three hours later than she’d said she would – and kicks off her boots and pulls Maggie into a soft kiss, Maggie melts.

She melts, but she’s also fighting tears, fighting fear, fighting the terror that Alex only wants her when it’s convenient, that Alex only wants her because it’s convenient, that Alex only wants her when Alex wants her, and nothing more.

Alex feels it, feels her stiffen at the same time as she melts, and she runs her hands down Maggie’s arms until she’s holding her hands, and she pulls away from their kiss and she looks down with concerned eyes and a soft voice.

“What’s wrong?”

Maggie steps back automatically. “Nothing, I – you guys get that last weapon back in containment?”

“Yeah, we did, Winn and I had to – no, Maggie, no. Something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, Alex, it – I – ”

Alex’s stare is fixed, but her eyes aren’t angry. They’re worried, and more than a little tired, and guilt digs into Maggie’s veins.

“I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong, Danvers. Did you eat dinner?”

“Maggie.”

“Danvers. Did you eat dinner?”

“Maggie, please.”

Maggie’s back is to her, now, and Alex watches as her shoulders stiffen, as her hands open and close, as her left hand rises to her chin, then falls and rubs nervously up and down her own thigh.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend time with me.”

Whatever Alex is expecting to hear, it isn’t that. “Like I have to – what?”

Maggie whirls around, and her eyes are calm on the surface, but raging just beneath, terrified just beneath, and Alex’s heart threatens to break.

“You just got off a – what – sixteen hour shift? After yesterday’s twelve? You should be able to rest when you come home, not listen to your girlfriend….”

Alex shakes her head and furrows her brow and steps forward tentatively, stopping just short of touching Maggie. “Listen to my girlfriend what?”

“You know what, Danvers, it doesn’t matter, I – if you didn’t eat, I made you that pesto pasta stuff you like, there’s leftovers in the fridge, I’m going to bed – ”

“Maggie. Are you angry that I didn’t come home on time?”

No. No, I’m not angry, I’m not, I just… I don’t want to take up more of your time, Danvers. You’re only human, even though you don’t treat yourself like one. You run yourself into the ground at work, for Kara, and that’s… that’s what I love about you, Alex, but I don’t want to be… a distraction, or an annoyance, I don’t want you to feel like you have to come home and entertain me, like you’re obligated to spend time with me when you’re tired or you just want to be alone or – ”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Alone time’s important. But I go for my runs, and you do your heavy bag, and I think we’ve been pretty decent at carving out other separate time. Your outings with James, mine with Winn, and with Kara, your video games sessions with Winn… But if you think we need to get better at that, Maggie, that’s okay – I didn’t have to come over tonight, I just thought – ”

“Right, exactly, you thought I needed you to, and I don’t want to put that burden on you, Alex.”

“Can I touch you?”

“What?”

“Can I touch you? Would you like it if I touched you? I want to hold you. If you want to be held.”

Maggie blinks down tears and nods defiantly, and Alex wraps her up in her arms and kisses her forehead.

“Maggie, you are never a burden. I love spending time with you. I love coming home to you. And yeah, okay, I don’t have the most spare time in the world, but the spare time that I do have, Maggie? The spare time that I’ve created for myself since I met you? And no, stop, please, don’t apologize – I love it, Maggie. Because I love… I love you, and carving out time for you, for us? That’s part of carving out time for me. Because you make me so happy, Mags. I never could have imagined being as happy as I am with you, I… you’re never a burden, Maggie. I don’t care how many hours I work, or how demanding both of our jobs are. Loving you, Maggie Sawyer, will never be anything but an honor and a joy. I promise.”

“Even when I get all whiny and insecure like a twelve year old?”

“Even when you get all self-deprecating and have legitimate trauma from being abandoned so often and need some understandable reassurance, yes.”

“Big words there, Danvers.”

Alex preens. “I went to Stanford.”

“Nerd.”

“Your nerd, Maggie. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You said you made pasta?”

“Your favorite.”

“Ugh, you really are the best.”

anonymous asked:

Okay so... you said to bring more Langst prompts so... This kinda has Klance in it so plz don't hate, you don't have to put that in if you don't want to. So, Lance stays up late, he has been for quite a while. Lance cries about his insecurities so he doesn't get much sleep, sometimes none at all. It's been affecting his health and he starts having hallucinations of his family. He's usually late for training and eating. Keith gets angry and goes to scold Lance, only to find him screaming names.

I relate to this more than I should tbh

Lance washed off his facemask, not even surprised that it did nothing against the dark circles that hung beneath his eyes. He was tired. He had been for the past week? Maybe month now. He lost track. 

Lance rubbed his eyes and started to get ready, only half assing his morning routine. He didn’t even register the comb through his hair, or putting his green jacket on. His mind was occupied. 

Why do I keep thinking about them? It was bad enough when I couldn’t see them anymore but now I see them everywhere. Lance attempted to push his family out of his mind. He loved them to death but he knew he needed to focus and not worry the team. 

-

Lance pushed the goo around his plate as he watch Allura speak, barely listening. Man am I tired. 

“Lance!” Allura slightly slammed her hand down on the table, causing the boy to jump and everyone to stare at him. “You need to focus. We have to make sure training goes perfectly today since we will be losing time creating alliances the rest of the week.” 

“Of course princess. Sorry I’m just really tired today.” Lance stifled a yawn. 

Allura stared at him for a few more seconds before sighing. “Training deck in 15.” She glided out of the room. 

-

Lance sprinted into the training deck, he knew he was late. 

“Lance, you’re late!” Coran said like it was the happiest thing in the world. Did anything bother him? 

“Sorry, I was….distracted.” Lance gave the team a wide grin and a forced laugh. When he saw that no one questioned him he exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Lance couldn’t tell the team the real reason he was late. He actually thought he saw his sister, ON THE CASTLE!! He saw her but no matter how fast he ran he never caught up to her. 

Allura enter the training deck. “Good we’re all here. Let’s begin. 

-

 They were split into groups. Pidge with Hunk, Shiro with Allura, and of course Keith with Lance. 

Lance seemed to be the only one struggling with hand to hand combat. He wanted to say it was because he never used he hands, however Hunk was doing just fine and he had a bigger gun than Lance. 

Lance tried to give Keith a run for his money but he was tired. His head was pounding and he kept getting lightheaded. His vision would sometimes get blurry and he could barely stand at moments. 

Needless to say, Lance was a very easy opponent for Keith. Keith would put him down in about 10 ticks every time. Lance could barely keep up, let alone keep standing up. 

Lance could feel the annoyance radiating off Keith, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted to go to bed. 

After what felt like years Allura said that they were done. Lance listen to Shiro tell him what he needed to work on and he dragged himself back to his room. 

Lance barely got his armor off before he fell on his bed and passed out. 

-

Keith stomped towards Lance’s room, he was already pissed from training today. Lance didn’t even try to fight him, he was like a rag doll. Now Lance missed dinner? What was up with him recently. 

Keith stopped in front of Lance’s door, inhaled and knocked. 

No response. Come on Lance, I’m not in the mood for games.

Keith knocked louder. Still nothing. 

Keith was about to walk away, just because he was mad he still respected people’s privacy.

 Keith started to turn from the door when he heard something. Was that a whimper? Keith put his ear up to the door and listened. Yeah, those are definitely whimpers…..I’m sorry Lance. Keith opened the door. 

Keith stood outside the door and stared into the room. He saw Lance on his bed, thrashing around and whimpering. 

Keith stared wide eyed for a moment, then he walked towards Lance, making sure the door closed behind him. He stood a few inches away from Lance, his hands almost touching him. 

Lance looked horrible. He was shaking, and sweating. He was whimpering and saying names? Keith didn’t recognize any of the names. However he did recognize “Mama”. 

It didn’t take Keith long to figure out that Lance was talking about his family. He couldn’t watch it anymore, Keith reluctantly reached forwards and shook Lance. “Lance!”

 Lance flung his eyes opened and bolted forward nearly smacking into Keith in the process. 

Lance looked at keith and scurried to the opposite side of the bed and hugged his legs. “He-hey Keith. Time for dinner?”

Keith nodded and continued to stare at Lance. “Lance is everything alright?” Keith wanted to hug him, strange right, but he decided to stay where he was. 

“Yeah, of course! Just a dream.” Lance tried to laugh ot off but his voice was raw. 

“Lance, that wasn’t a dream. You can talk to me.” Keith sat on the edge of the bed hoping to calm Lance down.

Lance continued to stare at Keith, his breaths were coming fast and his shirt was soaked in sweat. Keith wouldn’t judge him…right? “I miss my family.” Lance swallowed around the lump in his throat. 

“Well that’s okay we all miss someone from Earth.” Lance responded by shaking his head.

“No like this is different from usual. I’m seeing them, I saw my sister in the castle. Keith I’m losing it aren’t I?” Keith stared at Lance even more. 

He was hallucinating, okay.  “Lance I think you’re just tired.” Keith was trying to find and answer for Lance.   

“I can’t. I only slept because of how tired I was. Everytime I sleep I see my family. They’re disappointed in them, I left Earth and didn’t tell them. I never want to make my mama cry but every time I dream, she cries.” Lance’s breathing started to pick up. “And when I don’t sleep my brain is occupied with everything I do wrong. I’m a failed pilot. I’m a failed teammate. I’m a failed friend. I can’t do anything right.” Lance fought back tears as his voice wavered. 

Keith wasn’t sure what part got him but he crawled across the bed and hugged Lance as tight as he could. He slowly felt his shoulder become wet and shaky arms wrap around him. 

“Lance your parents are not disappointed in you. You’re not a failure. You just need to cope and get help. There is no shame in it. You can talk to me whenever you need.”

Lance tried not to shake but he started to tremble all over as he sobbed on Keith’s shoulder. “Thank you Keith.” 

-

Roughly 2 months had passed and Lance started to sleep better. He brain stopped voicing his insecurities and he saw less of his family. He trained better, and he pilots Blue better than ever. He did it because of one thing. Every night he would sleep next to a certain Red paladin and every time Lance had an issue, he was right there to help. 

I am terrible sorry this took so long. 

I love this idea! Also never apologize for Klance, it’s my life.

I hope you like it!!!

Thank you!

anonymous asked:

Hello! So I was scouring the Internet for advice today but I couldn't find any on this topic. My problem isn't that I don't have any ideas (I probably have too many) but the problem is that I don't LOVE any of my ideas. I like them. I think they're all fine ideas. But liking them isn't going to motivate me long enough to finish a novel. How can I give my ideas that extra uumph to make me love them? How can I figure out what's missing or why I don't feel this way about any of my ideas?

Hello, nonny!  What a challenging question…  This one’s been in my inbox a couple days, just because it’s such a big question.  But I’ve thought it over and I think I have some ideas for you :)


The Thrill Is Gone – How to Find It Again

So generally, there’s no one answer or cure-all to this problem.  I’ve had this issue multiple times, with different causes.  My first novel didn’t have enough meat to the plot; my second novel had been over-planned in my head to the point that it no longer excited me.  My third novel had way too much plot, so that by the time I got ¾ the way through, I’d written over 200K words and felt sick of the idea.  I started my fourth novel way too soon, and am now going back and planning it more!  So there are obviously many different reasons that a story doesn’t take off (or dries up eventually).

The first step is to figure out what’s missing, like you said.  There are a few aspects of your story to assess…


1. Plot

I’m discussing plot first because, to me, it’s the most important part of fiction.  Plot, conflict, and stakes are foremost to my stories.  You could have the most complex and sympathetic characters, but without plot, they’re static and become boring.  But for some reason, this is the part of story ideas that new authors neglect most!

So if your story has great characters and an immersive setting, but you can’t get into it, try asking a few questions about your plot:

  • What is the point of the plot?  What’s the message you’re conveying in the story?  Even if your story isn’t an allegory or a metaphor or the next Chronicles of Narnia, there should always be a conclusion to which all plots arrive – otherwise, the story can feel aimless.  The best way to find your message is to look at the conflicts involved (e.g. Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, etc.) and find the “winner”.  What worldview, belief, or concept “defeats” the other concepts?  It can be as simple as Good vs. Evil, or more complex, like Loving the Sincere Drug Addict vs. Settling for the Selfish Dentist (provokes the question “Is love worth danger in relationships?”).
  • Does the plot have ups and downs?  And really consider both ends of the spectrum here.  Stories become dull if they are made up of victory after victory – or if they’re made up of nothing but loss and tragedy.  No matter the genre, you have to strike some sort of balance, lest the story become predictable and emotionally non-engaging.  Find victories and failures, even in unassuming places, to keep readers invested and hopeful.
  • Do you have a satisfactory ending?  Or do you have the ending     planned yet?  I’ve found that I can’t really commit to an idea unless I see a resolution – otherwise I feel too nervous to start.  If you do have an ending planned, make sure it’s the right ending.  It can feel like there’s one possible conclusion, and once you’ve found it, you stick to it – but question it, brainstorm it.  It may not be a happy ending every time, but when you find the right one, you’ll know it.
  • Do you have the right plot at all?  Look at your story as a whole.  Does it start too early or too late, relative to the real meat,     the real action?  Is it told from the most impactful POV?  Does the plot cover too much ground for one book, or is it not enough to fill the pages?  Consider all the characters, backstories, and subplots you have, and ask yourself if any of them are more interesting than the main plot.  If so, shift your focus.  Use them instead.

2. Characters

Maybe it’s not your plot that’s going sideways.  Maybe you have it all worked out – the head, the tail, the whole damn thing – but it still doesn’t feel right.  It doesn’t feel like it’s coming to life, somehow.  It feels flat.

That can be a character problem.  It would be like sitting by the campfire and hearing the most fascinating, horrifying story, except it’s told by a man with The Most Boring Voice Who Talks So Incredibly Slowly and Takes All the Fun Out of Everything.  An example: The Hunger Games.  Those books bored the crap out of me.  Unless someone was being killed or Haymitch and Effie were interacting, I just didn’t care.  And those books had a great plot behind them!

So here’s what you need for a good cast of characters:

  • A solid protagonist.  Solid = three-dimensional, empathetic, and relatable; having a goal, an internal conflict, a self-image, and fears or shame.  They should have different facets of themselves – their head and their heart, their desires and doubts, and that little voice in their head that says, “Give up on that.  Be realistic.”  Give them strengths, weaknesses, and a couple of bad habits, for kicks.
  • A variety of supporting characters.  You don’t have to have thirty characters + six secret characters stuffed under your trench coat; but with however many characters you have, make them as different from each other as possible.  Give them some similarities, of course, so that they can relate to each other – but never make them so close together that you have to decide, “Who should say this line?  Character A or Character B?”  Make them unique enough that the words come out of their mouths, instead of you having to decide where to put the words, yourself.
  • Relationships, relationships, relationships.  And I’m not talking about romantic relationships.  I mean, sure, those too – but there are many different kinds of relationships to explore.  Friendships, enemy-ships (?), parent relationships, sibling-ships, silent alliances, “annoying friend-of-a-friend”-ships, “my-ex’s-little-sister”-ships, “you’re-the-ruler-of-the-galaxy-and-a-Sith-lord-but-also-my-dad-please-stop-being-evil”-ships…  You get the idea.  Make them unique, make them strong, and allow them to evolve over the course of the story.
  • Diverse morals, interests, and personalities.  My first short stories focused on white middle-class people who were culturally and politically identical.  They lived in one house, usually, and watched the same TV shows and made the same references.  They had the same sense of humor.  They rarely disagreed on anything that wasn’t clear-cut (e.g. “You drank the last Pepsi!”  “I was thirsty!”).  So do yourself a favor and don’t make my mistakes.  Give your characters unique ethics, cultures, backgrounds, personalities, goals, appearances, and conflicts.  You’ll be more invested by then, I’m sure.

3. Setting

Lastly, I’d like to add that while your characters and plot could be well-developed, there’s always a chance that they’re placed in the wrong setting.  This is why many story ideas can seem great, but won’t get off the ground – maybe they’re set in a pre-made universe like Middle Earth or Panem when they could be their own story.  Maybe your tragic romance is set in the middle of apocalyptic war, when instead, it should be drained down to a period piece.  Maybe your story is perfect, except you’re writing it too close to home – in the real world, in the present year.  There are a million factors to picking the right setting, including:

  • Applicable history and culture.  If you’re writing a story about someone who’s oppressed, or someone who’s a politician, or someone who’s a witch, you’re going to need to back that up with history.  Develop a history for the oppression or politics or witchcraft – where these things began, how they developed over time – and a culture for them now – how oppressed people survive and how witches in your world interact, etc.
  • Imaginative scenery, influenced by the characters.  Even if your story takes place in New York City in 2017, allow your characters’ living spaces and workplaces to have a unique touch – colors and quirks that your readers can see in their mind.  If even you can’t see what you’re writing, inspiration is going to be difficult to find.
  • A lifelike background.  Just because the plot focuses on your characters does not mean everything going on behind it should be quiet and dead.  Anyone who looks out a window in a city building can see other people living – people on the highway will see other cars taking other people other places.  Everyone who has a friend will hear a little something about their friend’s siblings, their friend’s friends, their friend’s neighbors.  Life and stories exist outside of your plot; make sure you’re not writing about a ship in a bottle.
  • An aesthetic.  That sounds gross and teen-tumblr-y, but let me tell you personally: I don’t feel truly ready to write (and love) my story until I can hear the music for the future movie adaptation – until I can see the kind of clothes the people wear, the games they play, the places they eat and shop.  I think of the colors and themes in my scenes (e.g. my first novel was set primarily at night in a grunge/city setting; my current novel is very green and outdoorsy and gives me that feeling of bonfires just after sunset).  Once you get that “feeling” from your story, you’ll know it.

Anyway, this reply took me like three days to write because I really wanted to get into it.  I hope some of this helps you to fall in love with one of your ideas, so you can get started :)  If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in!

(I have 26 questions in the inbox, though, so be patient with me…)


If you need advice on writing, fanfiction, or NaNoWriMo, you should maybe ask me!

saturnt  asked:

Hi! I really admire your art. I'm 19 and have been drawing all my life but not seriously. I found out about schools like yours and feel terrible that i've missed the chance to study there - I don't speak french and live in australia. But I want to create brilliant art & animated films like you do at gobelins. my skills just aren't good and I don't have any resources. I'm not sure whether I should think that I can improve my technical skills to catch up with yours, or give up. do you have advice?

Hi you!

Schools are great to feel motivated, surrounded by people loving the same things and learning with inspiring teachers teaching you everything you wish to be able to do. You can meet people who will propose you amazing work later and you will earn a lot of money $$$ and be successful.

But this is what happen in the perfect school in the perfect world. And you know, there is no perfect school and no perfect world!

Even if Gobelins is a really nice school, I feel not completly satisfyed. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing things that I would like to learn. Sometimes I feel that some exercices make me lose time more than make me improve my skills and so on! (And it’s sooo expensive!!)

Fortunatly, here is the great news : You can learn everything by YOURSELF, with the amazing help of the INTERNET. There are so many talented self -taugh artists! I know it sound surrestimated but I can assure you, you can improve so much by learning  with online courses (Schoolism, No film school, every frame a painting, online tutorials, coursera…), by practicing from your own, being inspired from people all over the world, getting feedbacks from people on forums…

Don’t be affraid to ask critics, practice, observe a lot, go draw outside, go to gesture drawing classes, throw all your drawings away and start everyting again, several times, that’s how everybody start!

Don’t compare you to other people, it ’s the best way to feel bad, inspire you from them! Look at what the other people can do and think : “Such great things can be done, I can do it too, with patience and practice!”

And as somebody -I don’t remember the name- would say : “Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself.”

Never give up <3

anonymous asked:

Sense the SDCC thing, I've been seeing a lot of art and fics that are dragging Kara/Supergirl. Like I get that some people are upset at the actors but the characters have nothing to do with any of this. I started watching the show because I read the comics when I was a kid, I just loved Supergirl as a hero. It's really kind of upsetting. They're treating a character like shit because they don't like something the person who portrays them did.

So this is a long dissection of the current Supergirl fan behavior, but if you’ve been wondering what the hell is going on, you might be interested in reading these concepts.

I understand why you’re upset. I am too, because Kara is such a wonderful character. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a character as much as her.

But there are two things you should realize when seeing this:

1. They never really cared about Kara to being with. Your loved Kara-focused content isn’t changing or leaving, because these people were not making the Kara content. They were likely initially making Supercorp Lena-focused content.

2. It’s not even about her.

I think what a lot of people who are newly joining this SDCC homophobia discussion are missing is that a lot of the most vicious backlash is not from people who are uniquely upset over this issue (though there are certainly people who are- and understandably) but from people who have had consistently overzealous reactions of hate toward actors and characters alike, save their fave (pretty much Katie Mcgrath/Lena Luthor).

On tumblr, and very noticeably in this fandom, there are sections of fans who seem to genuinely enjoy hating things. It’s a sport.

They’re having fun sending the most hurtful things they can think of to actors, and are the quickest to begin making vicious memes and jokes surrounding a negative event, before there has been a consensus within the community of how bad the “sin” was.

The “punishment” begins before the jury is out, and trying to defend those in the situation feels like trying to put a bullet back into a gun after it’s been fired. 

(Maybe it’s more like stepping in front of a bullet, because once these few have decided that the target is guilty, they won’t stop, and anyone who disagrees with them is guilty, too. Blogs and actors alike.)

This is partially why my discussion of the SDCC event had a “are they homophobic” slant (other then that I believe the nature of the event itself- if it was homophobic- hinges on the feeling behind the words, unlike most other instances of homophobia. It’s complicated and some people understandably disagree so far, but it’s really how I see it and I’ll be talking more about it a little later in different posts).

People started calling Melissa and Jeremy homophobic right away. Started targeting Kara as a character. Started “spite shipping” Lena and Reign. 

Or alternative to these options- immediately fan re-casted Kara as someone else to still be able to ship Supercorp. 

From where I stand, if you can so easily let go of this characterization of Kara, you never really cared about her as a character to begin with. If you don’t know that this was The™ person to play Kara Danvers, you’re likely more invested in the role she plays for Lena than for her as herself. 

And regardless of gender, I am uninterested in ships in which one character exists for the sake of another. (Lena existing purely for the sake of Kara’s development squicks me, too)

Recasting a woc as Kara doesn’t sit well with me either, for that reason. It’s a similar concept to how Maggie must exist as her own complex and valued person, apart from Alex, because she is a character of color.

I can’t really read the minds of these people, and I guess I could be wrong, but it’s hard for me to imagine actual Kara fans recasting her in this way.

Essentially, a lot of these people, or at least a very vocal minority, are so quick to accept that something horrible has happened because they want an excuse to hate them. 

They like it. 

Maybe it’s because they’re upset with the way society is and want someone to suffer for it. Maybe it’s because they have unresolved anger in their lives. 

But as it stands, it appears as if these people are using moral rightness and social activism as an excuse to be as mean as they want.

And like @youngbloodbuzz said in the link above, you start to look at their past behaviors in a new light. Were they genuinely upset at characters? Actors? Did they really feel like a travesty was occurring? That someone needed protecting?

Or were they just looking for reasons to call someone a “stupid cunt”?

It’s like they’re genuinely thinking, “It’s okay for me to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, call them intense names, make memes about how horrible they are innately, and send them death threats because they said something problematic once that a lot of people will hear.”

Sometimes they’ll call it “coping”, and maybe some people truly believe that makes it okay. But coping mechanisms are not above reproach.

If I hurt someone because I’m upset about something- even if I hurt someone because they did something wrong- it doesn’t erase the fact that I hurt them. We are still responsible to how we react to bad situations. We are still responsible for not reacting in an overly inflated way. 

Sometimes people will focus on how those that they’re attacking have more of a responsibility to be good people. That they are but mere bloggers, screaming into the void. They can’t possibly be accountable for how they behave. 

“I’m tired of talking about how bad the fans are, we should be focusing on what they did wrong!”

It creates an atmosphere in which an honest mistake from a well known person is much more crucifiable than the purposeful cruelty of the fans. We’re discouraged from criticizing popular blogs because the person they’re attacking has a wider audience and larger consequences for mistakes, as if popular bloggers don’t reach and influence thousands of people and as if we aren’t allowed to shape the way our own community functions.

Meanwhile, people who genuinely value morality and social activism fall prey to this thinking. They’ll even join in on the action, because they think it’s a moral act. 

Rebellion, somehow. Righteous fire. 

It’s a twisted mindset that spreads because people are afraid to be on the wrong side of morality.

Even people who really think the reaction is “too far” are quiet about it because they agree with the fact that what the offending celebrity did was wrong, and see that the level of vitriol for them now is overwhelming.

This is how I imagine that people who believe Melissa and Jeremy’s words to be homophobic but who do not think a couple of mistakes makes someone pure evil are relating to the current tumblr dialogue: 

“Wow this thing was homophobic!”

“Huh, yeah, I agree. Maybe not intentionally, but yeah.”

“That means this person is homophobic!”

“Uh, well, not sure I’d go that far-”

“Oh and look at this other somewhat problematic thing they did a while ago”

“Hmm well that’s bad, but not everyone outside of social activism gets that that’s a bad thing, so I can see-”

“Wow did you hear that this person also has an opinion about the show that I disagree with! What the fuck is wrong with them?”

“Oh. Well I actually agree with them in that situation but-”

“Omg they think that their character is like this! Do they know them at all??? What kind of terrible actor doesn’t know their character?”

“Well that’s a pretty common way that people are reading this character. Just because you-”

“Here’s some conjecture about their personal life that I imagine happened that paints them in a bad light.”

“Well, you don’t know that, but either way you shouldn’t be diving into their personal-”

“Oh and here’s a totally real story from an anon about someone they know who knew this person in the past and says they were a jerk at this one point-”

And it becomes too much. If you don’t really love the actor, really love their character, you either extract yourself from the group or you ignore the opinions you disagree with. 

It becomes quite clear that these people want to feel this way and won’t be changing any time soon.

And the more there seems to be a consensus about the issue, the less willing people are to speak out, for fear of rejection.

The Spiral of Silence theory is a good way to explain it:

To avoid isolation, people tend to refrain from publicly stating their views on controversial matters when they perceive that doing so would attract criticism, scorn, laughter, or other signs of disapproval. 

Conversely, those who sense that their opinions will meet with approval tend to voice them fearlessly and at times vociferously. 

Indeed, speaking out in such a way tends to enhance the threat of isolation faced by supporters of the opposing position, reinforcing their sense of being alone. 

Thus a spiraling process begins, the dominant camp becoming ever louder and more self-confident while the other camp becomes increasingly silent.

Importantly, the spiral of silence occurs only in connection with controversial issues that have a strong moral component. What triggers a person’s fear of isolation is the belief that others will consider him or her not merely mistaken but morally bad. Accordingly, issues that lack a moral component or on which there is general consensus leave no room for a spiral of silence.

Additionally, I believe that if someone does speak out against the (perceived) majority, it is most likely to be someone who is very strongly opposing of it.

A person who believes “It isn’t homophobic at all! They are innocent!” is more likely to voice their disagreements than “Okay I agree with your assessment of the situation but I think maybe we’re being too harsh…”

So the “minority”- who could technically very well be the quiet majority (people with middle-ground opinions just don’t get as many followers)- stays quiet. 

They might even change their minds to agree with the “majority”, over time. 

Believing that the mindset of the group that you belong to is wrong is psychologically uncomfortable, so it is not uncommon for someone to try to adjust their thinking to fit those they feel connected to.

So, eventually, the only people who are speaking at all are those “majorities” who hate these people. Or those who act like they do for notes.

And then this thinking escalates amongst those still talking about it (remember: because it’s fun for them and they want to milk it for as long as possible) and it quickly translates to hating their character, once they’ve temporarily run out of material to be angry with the actor for.

So, back to your concern, how long until, “it’s hard to look at Melissa as Kara right now, because of how I fear she might feel about gay people” becomes something like “Mon-El is abusive, but Kara can choke so whatever” ?

(And on that note, one should consider how much they really wanted to protect Kara Danvers’ characterization from Mon-El’s influence, and how much was just a part of their hate-hobby.)

Maybe it won’t go that far. I hope it doesn’t. I hope people come to their senses about this.

But it’s escalated even since yesterday, when I started making this post. The language being used to describe Melissa when she is speaking normally, about normal things that some people have a difference of opinion on, is abhorrent. 


So if you’re just trying to enjoy fandom in a peaceful and creative way, I encourage you to watch how the people you interact with react when something negative happens.

Are they disheartened? Crushed? Are they considering leaving the show and it’s fandom? Writing serious essays about how they’re hurt?

…Or do they come alive?

Are they incredibly angry, and then making jokes immediately? Memes and edits and creative content more so than they do on a peaceful day? Do you get the sense that they aren’t going anywhere, for a long time, even though they don’t seem to enjoy anything about the show?

Then you might be better off unfollowing them.

Of course, not everyone who makes a joke about negative things is thus enjoying it. It makes people feel better to make light of situations as well as to express anger, and doing so doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re drama-seeking.

And sometimes people slip into the mob more than they would like to have, retrospectively. Say cruel things that they regret later. 

It happens, and tumblr can be a persuasive and pervasive place. 

If you follow someone who initially reblogs some slightly overly hateful things, but who then backs off after the first wave, they probably aren’t the kind of person who is fueled by anger. 

I’ve seen a lot of people I considered to be level-headed get wrapped up in overly aggressive, black and white thinking during the initial reaction to events.

But then sometimes, a couple of weeks later, they’ll post a tentative “Anyone else still wanna kinda like this thing, even though we said it was bad before?” and they’ll get enough approval via reblogs to feel like it’s okay to go back to normal.

Some blogs quietly sort themselves out, in the end.

And if you’re one of those people who goes overboard occasionally, I get it. 

You’re hurt and you didn’t realize that the basis for the fan reaction that you were involved in was morally shallow. That the people you were supporting were not righteously furious, but using righteousness as an excuse to be furious.

But remember the message here: people make mistakes. It’s the patterns that really tell you who they are.

And I think we can be better. Have better patterns, as a group.


In the end, I encourage you to point out when a reaction is too harsh, toward anyone. Even if it’s difficult. Even if you agree that what the person did was pretty bad.

Agreeing that “black and white thinking” is bad can feel like you’re lowering your standards for morality. But I promise, you can still value the things that you value and loathe the things that go against it, without condemning someone’s entire personhood based on a mistake or a handful of mistakes regarding those things.

Even big mistakes.

People are complicated. We are all made up of really good things and really bad things.

It’s easy to believe that someone is wholly bad when they screw up.

The hard part, the part that will ultimately ground you and help you mature, is realizing that someone can have some really bad parts within them and still be good people. (I encourage you to remember that when thinking about yourself, as well.)

The trick is recognizing the difference between when people are making honest mistakes that unintentionally hurt people, and when they’re willfully behaving a certain way because they want to hurt people (or don’t care that they will). 

And further, between when people are lashing out because they’re hurt and when people are inventing hurt to be able to lash out.

These distinctions will help you realize who you can guide or trust to work their issues out on their own when they slip up, and who you should distance yourself from.

Some very vocal portions of the fandom are, unfortunately, the latter.

Message Received

“Look, if I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ‘Thank You’ will suffice. None of this ‘How did you get in my house’ business,” the young girl huffed, one hand on her hip as she balanced a covered tray in the other. “So rude.”

“Alya!” Adrien whimpered, pulling his blankets even higher to cover himself from her gaze. “What are you doing here!?”

He immediately regretted his question at the feral grin that split the reporter’s lips. He squeaked in horror when she abruptly jumped into the bed next to him, still balancing the tray of food with seemingly little effort. Leaning into his personal bubble with little care for how he tried to back away, Alya’s next words did little to calm the racing of his pulse.

“I’m here because I’ve run out of patience, Agreste.”

“P-patience?”

“That’s right,” she nodded, crawling forward so that she was now looming over his hunched form. “I can’t stand it anymore. It’s been two years. I think I’ve waited long enough for you to open you eyes…”

Adrien took a deep breath as she sat back finally, a maniacal twinkle in her eyes–

“…so this is your official wake up call.”

Keep reading

Genius - Zach Herron AU

Description: You’re a close friend of Daniel’s, practically a sister to the boy. You’ve met the Why Don’t We boys a couple of times, though very briefly. When you decide to move to L.A. when you’re accepted into UCLA at age 16, they offer to let you stay with them. However, feelings surface - or maybe resurface - for you and a certain Gemini quickly.
Rating: PG

•••

You take a deep breath as you sit on the plane as everyone gets off. You’re young; your mom freaked. How were you supposed to say no? You couldn’t help it that you surpassed your peers by miles back in elementary and middle school when it came to academics. You stand up and grab the backpack at your feet, which contains a few notebooks, normal books, and lots and lots of pens. You have this odd fascination with pens. You step off the plane and into the terminal, soon out to the airport itself.

Once you enter the building through the big, automatic glass doors, you look around for the goofball you call a best friend - Daniel Seavey. You frown as you don’t see him and debate whether or not to call or just wait. You settle on just wait and head over to get your bags at the baggage claim. You find one of them, which contains all your undergarments, socks, shoes, and shorts/pants/skirts, but the other, which contains all your hoodies, sweaters, jackets, and shirts, is no where to be found.

You, being you, analyze the situation before letting the baggage claim go around once more. You sigh; no bag of yours in sight. You head over to the main office, where, luckily, no one is in line. You walk up to the front and take a quick breath. Talking to strangers has never been your forte; you’re quite awkward.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The man asks. Oh, great, just make the torture worse.

“I-I can’t find my other bag,” you tell him, cursing mentally. You sound like a complaining four-year-old. “I’ve found one of them, but the other wasn’t on the baggage claim.”

“Huh.” He turns to his computer and opens something up. He looks at you. “Name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you reply, leaning over the desk a little bit to see what he finds.

He types in your name, and an odd sound comes out of the computer. You frown and stand up straight, causing you to stop leaning over.

“What’s wrong?” You ask worriedly.

He bites his lip. “I’m sorry, miss, but somehow your bag got onto a flight to London. It’ll be back here in about three weeks, and we’ll call you as soon as it comes.”

You bite your lip too. “Thanks, I guess.”

You leave the office, sulking. What are you going to do? You’re definitely not rich; no way. You can’t pay for another closet full of-

“Y/N!!!” You’re almost tackled to the ground by a gangly, brown-haired boy.

You smile instantly and pat his back. “Good to see you too, Danny.”

(Y/N/N = your nickname)

Daniel pulls away. “I missed you, Y/N/N!”

You pay his shoulder. “I missed you too, bud.”

He looks at you oddly. “That’s weird… you haven’t used any big words and I’m not lost yet. What’s wrong?”

You sigh as the other boys come up. “They lost one of my bags; the bag that has all of my shirts, jackets, hoodies, and makeup in it, to be exact.”

They all frown. You sigh and look down at your hands.

“And I have no money whatsoever for new clothes. I have enough for makeup, though, so could we stop by either a Sephora or Ulta on our way back to your house?” You ask Daniel, looking up at him after saying that mouthful.

“We’ll find a way around your clothes problem, but, yeah, we can stop.” He slings his arm around your shoulder. “How long until the bag gets here?”

You sigh again. “Well, it’s on a plane to London at the moment, so they said three weeks, minimum.”

He cringes. “That’s not good.” He takes your bag. “C'mon, lets go get you some paint for your face.”

You shake your head with a small smile and follow him, the other four in tow.

———

“Jesus, I now see why you could only afford the makeup,” Daniel says in exasperation. “It’s like twenty bucks for this teeny-tiny bottle of that tannish-stuff.”

“Foundation, I think,” Corbyn butts in.

“Yeah, not all of us have a makeup vlogger as a girlfriend, dude,” Jack tells him.

Corbyn rolls his eyes but smiles at the mention of Christina. You smile a bit at that.

“Finally, I get to give you a hug.” You chuckle as Jonah wraps his arms around you. He, in past visits, always made you feel at home and welcome. The others did too, of course.

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re not the only one.” Jack pushes him away and hugs you too, then Corbyn.

When Zach gives you a hug, you get that funny feeling in your stomach. Of course, you decide to ignore it and he lets go. Daniel comes back in with a box of animal crackers.

“And I thought we were expensive,” he scoffs, referring to boys in general.

You giggle. “What is it with you and animal crackers?”

“They’re good, okay?”

———

After the first week of wearing Daniel’s shirts to bed and buying a few Walmart t-shirts, you miss your own wardrobe. Especially that one cute sweater that you bought a couple weeks before coming. You really miss that.

“I can take you shopping, if you want,” Zach offers one day, making the funny feeling come back. “I mean, if you want. I have a license so…”

“I would love to, but I’m broke.” You sigh.

He shrugs. “So? I’ve got money.”

You look at him. “Oh, no, I couldn’t let you pay for me.”

He shrugs again. “It can’t be that bad. I mean, we’ve gone with Christina shopping once and that was fine.”

For a split second, you consider the offer. This feels like one of those things in that Episode app you used to have where you had to pay for a certain choice, only you had enough gems and you weren’t sure.

“Just go,” Daniel says from where he is playing FIFA. “Let someone treat you to something for once, Y/N.”

“But you’re already letting me stay here until I can-”

“Nope, c'mon.” Daniel grabs your hand and drags you off the couch, giving his remote to Corbyn. “You’re going with Zach. He’s being kind, since that’s all he knows how to do.”

You sigh and walk with Daniel to the door, him letting go of your hand. He looks at you. “Buy whatever you want and do not feel guilty. For sixteen, Zach has more money than he knows what to do with.”

“It’s true,” Zach says as he joins the two of you.

“Now go! I want you back home with mounds of clothes!” Daniel pushes the two of you out the door after subtly winking at Zach, which you don’t catch.

As yo two walk to Zach’s car, Daniel heads back to the living room with a sly smirk.

“I don’t like that look,” Jack says as they take a break from FIFA.

Daniel just smiles. “It’s going to work; I know it. Zach can finally get his mind off of that girl, whoever she was, and Y/N can take a risk once in a while.”

“You’re saying Zach’s a risk?” Jonah asks with a grin.

Daniels scoffs. “No way. That kid’s got chivalry and kindness down. To her, everything’s a risk because she’s underage and going to college.”

“I still don’t get that,” Corbyn says. “I mean, how can someone possibly be that smart?”

Daniel shrugs as he grabs a box of animal crackers.

“Probably because she never ate any animal crackers,” Jack comments.

“Hey!”


As the boys talk about you two, the two of you are actually heading into Rue 21. You had told Zach just to go to Target or Walmart or somewhere cheap, but he refused. When you finally gave up and told him the stores you usually shopped at like he asked, he drove to the mall and now here you are.

“Get whatever you want,” he tells you with a small smile. “I don’t care.”

You sigh, having given up, and he follows you to the section of the store with the t-shirts and hoodies and such. You find a cute shirt with a finger gun on it going ‘pew-pew’, and soon you find an adorable pug sweater. As you try everything on and find more, Zach just sticks with you, telling you, honestly, what he thinks. Of course, it’s not blunt honesty but soft honesty, as you like to call it. For example, when you picked out a horrible-looking dress, he tells you that it doesn’t compliment your skin tone like 'x’ dress. You appreciate his input, and, eventually, after about six shops and too many bags, the two of you head to the food court.

“Thanks again, Zach,” you tell him as he also pays for your Panda Express, which you argued about for a small amount of time. You should really learn.

He smiles. “No problem. I even got this sweater, so it’s cool. It’ll help with the upcoming shoot we’re doing.”

You nod and go to grab your plate, but he has it already and heads to a table. You follow suit, thankful for him since your hands are practically full.

As you eat, you can’t help but get that funny feeling in your stomach. Nobody at your school had ever been this nice to you; you were always viewed as the crazy nerd that wanted to graduate early. They treated you as if they’d catch a virus from you. It was awful.

“Something wrong?” Zach asks, and you look up from your plate, surprised.

“No,” you lie. “Why-Why do you ask?”

He shrugs. “You just looked really sad for a second.”

The same thing came up as before where you felt like you were in that stupid Episode game. You debate whether or not to tell Zach. You mean, it seems like you can trust him. He’s sweet, he’s nice, he’s nice looking-

'Woah, Y/N,’ you tell yourself. 'Hold your horses. He doesn’t see you like that.’

“I just…no one’s ever been this nice to me, other than Daniel,” you tell him shyly. “All the kids at my school thought I was a freak.”

He frowns. “Why? Just because you’re smarter than them?”

You shrug.

He scoffs. “Kids do a lot of rude stuff, especially when it comes down to someone being better at something than them. Just because you are smarter than them - which I know because you’re wayyy smarter than me - they wouldn’t accept you. That’s just stupid. Don’t dwell on that, Y/N, they’re not good enough for you.”

You look up. “You really mean that?”

He twirls chow mien around his chopsticks. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

That day, the funny feeling grows.

———

Over the next week or so, you and Zach hang around each other more. Daniel gives you odd looks when Zach sits next to you willingly or offers to get you something when he goes somewhere. As you sit on the edge of the pool one day while Zach’s in it playing around with Jonah and Corbyn, Daniel comes and sits next to you, swinging his legs in the water like you are.

“So…” Daniel says. “How do you like L.A.?”

You shrug. “I like it. A lot. You guys are most of that, though.”

Daniel laughs. “Yeah, we are pretty awesome.”

You roll your eyes and wave back to Zach, who waved at you a few minutes before.

“What’s going on with you and Zach?” Daniel asks.

You blush a little, though you try to hide it. “I don’t really know…we’re just friends, I guess.”

Daniel looks at you. “Do you like him?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

You laugh and push him, but he catches himself. “I don’t know, actually.”

Daniel’s whole face lights up. “I think he likes you, Y/N. You should make a move.”

You look at him like he’s crazy. “No! I can barely hear his name and not blush!”

Of course, you two are whispering. As you continue your short conversation, Jonah and Corbyn get out of the pool while Jack gets up from the chair he was drying off in. You push Daniel in after he wiggles his eyebrows again, laughing as you do so.

“Hey!” He resurfaces. “What’s up with that??”

You giggle. “Stop being an idiot and I would’ve have pushed you in, ya dork.”

You continue laughing, though you don’t notice Zach come up behind you, dripping wet. He counts to three silently and Daniel winks on three.

“What was the wink fo-” you scream as you fall into the water, and Zach plummets next to you.

You push yourself up and gasp for air, brushing your hair off of your face. “What was that for?”

Everyone else has left, leaving the two of you alone as Zach smiles.

“You were so boring, just sitting there,” he says. “So I decided to have some fun and make you un-boring.”

You roll your eyes. “Gee, thanks, Zach. Good to know how boring I am.”

He laughs. “You’re welcome, Y/N.”

The both of you are silent for a moment, and Zach rubs his neck as you two float there.

“Hey, uh, Y/N?” Zach asks.

You look at him. “Yeah?”

“I, uh, can I say something?” He asks.

“Unless you’ve suddenly turned mute, which, according to the laws of science and the human body and brain, is very unlikely, then I would say yes, yes you can,” you ramble, which he just laughs at.

You blush as Zach just calms down before sighing.

“Look, I’ve really enjoyed spending the past week or two with you, and I just…I was wondering, you see-”

“Yes.” You cover your mouth as Zach just bursts into laughter again, causing you to blush crimson.

“Okay, how about at seven tonight?” He asks you.

You just nod, your hands still covering your mouth as he ducks his head under the water and disappears.

•••

The end!! Hope you enjoyed! trying to get my writer’s block gone so I can work on a request for @ashleyswriting!

anonymous asked:

Hmn this might be werid but I'm in the mood for angst, rfa + minor trio(MY baes) somehow injurying mc really badly maybe even leaving a permanent scar or something, if they were in an argument or etc, happy or bad ending u'r choice abd it's okay if u don't do this if it makes u uncomfortable

Oh my God this killed me, I deleted it over four times on accident!

This deleted over three times, and I almost had a mental breakdown, then my power was out before, sorry for the wait.Omg I’m so sorry for being so behind, I lost power for over 24 hours, and then I typed everything up and my computer crashed and it all deleted. I don’t mean to make up excuses. I’m so sorry! Anyway yeah, I’m not sure how good it’s going to be, but I hope you’ll like it!!!!
Zen
• He knew he wasn’t supposed to do it
• He knew it was bad for him, that it could very well kill him
• He was going good so far, he hadn’t smoked in two months, and hadn’t gotten too drunk in about six weeks
• You were happy about that, and honestly, he was pretty proud of himself
• But one day it happened
• He slipped, and all descended into Hell
• He had lost a role he’d been preparing for weeks to a man who he hated
• And his friends managed to convince him to go out and get a drink
• Well one turned into five
• And a cigarette
• Or two
• It was a miracle he managed to drag himself home, but when he did he sort of lost it
• And not in a good way
• You were waiting for him, after a crap ton of missed calls, and the pictures on the messenger
• You were ready to give him some Advil, put him to bed, and the next day to spend around eight hour lecturing him on the dangers of smoking
• But it didn’t exactly go that way
• When you saw the state he was in you kinda snapped
• A shouting match ensued
• “You’re going to kill yourself!!”
• “You’re just being over protective and stuck up, besides, what if I don’t care?”
• “You take that back right now!”
• “Why should I?!”
• Eventually he picked up a plate on the counter and chucked it
• He wasn’t aiming anywhere in particular, and it wouldn’t’ve mattered he was so drunk
• But the pieces of porcelain, along with what smashed on the grounds when he wildly grabbed it, were stuck in you
• In your shoulder, your ankles
• You bit your lip, fighting back the screams of pain as your body burned with the shrapnel-like pain of something being thrown at you at a fast rate, before lodging itself in you, still glistening with cleaning solution
• You ran out, leaving Zen with his thoughts
• In his drunken state he didn’t notice, he just slinked off to bed, falling into a coma-like sleep the minute his head hit the pillow
• When he woke up at first he didn’t remember
• Rolling over to hug you he noticed the bed was empty
• At first his thoughts were confused through the headache and haze of his hangover
• Hangover…
Shit!
• He ran into the kitchen to see the remains of what happened last night
• Immediately he freaked out, calling Jumin, Seven, Jaehee, before finally clicking on your number
• The phone rang about five times, and he was in panic, when finally, finally, you answered
• “Hello?”
• He almost sobbed with relief
• “Jagi! I’m so sorry for what I did, oh my goodness are you hurt, where is it? Please I’m so sorry!”
• The line goes silent for a few seconds and Zen thinks you’re going to hang up
• “Zen, I’m happy that you’re okay. I am currently in the hospital. The porcelain is out, they were worried about infection due to the cleaning solution, but they can now say that is not going to happen. If you just wanted to know my vitals then I’ll be going.”
• Your voice sounds like a flat instrument, the ends dipping down into something, and something unpleasant.
• “Jagi, please, I know, I made a mistake, and I get it, you can leave if you want. Just please, please don’t hate me forever. That would break me.”
• You listen on the phone
• “Fine Zen, I’ll talk later, I have to talk more to the nurse. See you, bye.”
• The line dies
• When you’re released from hospital a few days later Zen notices the scars that trace your arm and ankle’s, the one on your arm slightly yellow, scabbed at odd places, the holes from vaccines and IUDs vivid against the dull purple
• He acts so fragile around you
• And though you don’t like to admit it, that breaks you a bit inside
• So you agree to stay
• As long as he gets help
• He nods
• He did something wrong, and you will always have the scars to prove it
• Not him, because sometimes we don’t hurt ourselves, instead we pin our crimes on others
• And he knows that now
• The day you move back into the apartment, over a year later, he is waiting patiently, the pieces of glass still in a box, buried deep in his closet that acted as his own reminder

Yoosung
• Okay, this one was an accident
• Yoosung had been holed up at the library for over twelve hours, agonizing over finals
• He looked more dead than alive tbh
• So when he dragged his way home he wasn’t exactly thinking straight
• You were cooking beef soup on the stove, waiting patiently for him to come home
• “MC…..”
• He stumbled in, bag falling immediately to the floor
• You smiled softly, then went back to your work
• “Yoosung, hwo about you go take a bath, dinner will be ready in a bit!”
• “Ahh, but MC! I’m too tired, let’s cuddle!”
• He went to hug you, but you carefully pried him away
• “After dinner Yoosung, it’s important for you to eat.”
• “But MC!! Dinner isn’t that important!”
• He lunged towards you, going to hug you, but somehow knocked you back
• The broth feel on your elbow, which in turned rammed into the fire, touching the gas distributor
• Your survival skills kicked in, and you managed to get the fire off yourself, but not without screaming in massive pain, feeling like your flesh was dying, eaten away quickly like in those old movies
• Yoosung immediately sprung into action
• Turning the stove off he ran towards his phone and called an ambulance
• When they got there and he explained it the medics just shook their head
• He felt ashamed
• He waited outside the room as they operated on your arm, managing to put some sort of fake skin on it, that would attach to the cells and act like actual skin
• It was the latest technology, but Yoosung couldn’t help but worry
• When you were finally allowed visitors he rushed in and held onto your good hand tightly
• “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
• The tears streamed from his face onto your palm
• You just smiled softly
• “It’s okay, I’ll be fine, there’ll always be a bit of a dark patch, some burn scars, but after some rehab my right arm should be completely functional again.”
• You tried to keep your tone light and airy, but Yoosung could still hear the pain behind the words, the heavy breathing tearing at his heart
• Even when you were released he still babied you
• You were put to bed, and he was getting everything ready
• In the process he pulled up your sleeve somehow
• He immediately began to cry
• The scar was massive!
• Wrapping around your arm, and patchwork of hues, ones that would never fade
• “Yoosung.”
• Your voice snapped him out of himself and he realized he was crying again
• “I don’t care about how it looks. I’m happy that we’re both safe and there was no true long term damage. So please don’t cry, when you do it makes me so unhappy.”
• He put on a brave face for you, but when you were asleep he kissed the bruise lightly, whispered I’m sorry, and fell asleep to the tears in his eyes

Jaehee
• You guys had planned this date weeks ahead
• You two were so excited
• Until Jaehee bought a ticket for herself to go see one of Zen’s plays
• The same day
• Not even two, no, one
• You were obviously upset
• You two had been talking excitedly about it for weeks, it was going to be special
• It was your anniversary after all
• So why did she do that?
• You ended up confronting her about it
• And a screaming match ensued
• “Do you not enjoy my company or something?!”
• “Maybe I’m just getting tired-”
• “Of who, me?!”
• It was going back and forth
• Until a coffee withdrawal-ed Jaehee threw a vase at you
• The glass shattered against your face and lodged itself into your eyelid, barely missing the iris
• But you still knew there was trouble
• You resisted the urge to touch it, but not the urge to screaming bloody murder as you grabbed your phone and ran
• When Jaehee could see past what had just happened she immediately panicked
• Dribing to the hospital, she called Jumin, Seven, and Yoosung by the time she reached there
• When Zen was there she didn’t so much as acknowledge his existence
• Finally, after agonizing hours they were done
• Your vision couldn’t be saved
• The RFA let you two have a moment alone once they were done surrounding you
• Jaehee kneeled next to your bed and began crying
• She apologized again and again
• You just sat there listening, your eye now slightly white with film, a scar weaving its way around the gap
• When she was done you began
• “It’s good that you learned your lesson…”
• He head picked up in surprise
• “…That was you won’t make the same mistake with your next loved one.”
• She began crying again, and you just tapped the assist button and rolled over
• The day that you were released she came over with some flowers
• But you were already gone
• It had been years since she had seen you
• Seven refused to tell her your location
• All she knew was that you were in France
• She waited for you every night
• The only night you came was the night she left this world

Jumin
• You two were so excited to work on this small cottage
• And you of course insisted that you two work on at least part of it together
• It was a sunny, hot day, and Jumin was working on the tiling, while you worked on some of the piping
• “I’m so excited!” You squealed cheerfully
• He smiled gently at you
• “Yes, it’s going to be the best vacation home anyone has ever seen.”
• You smiled brightly
• That smile lit up his world, you were his torch in the darkness, a spirit leading him out of what once had been darkness
• He still couldn’t believe the ring you wore on your finger, the fact that you had said yes
• “Hey Jumin, could you pass me the wrench.”
• Absentmindedly he picked up the metal object
• And chucked it at you
• It hit your forehead with a thud as you knocked on the ground
• Blood was trickling down your head, and your vision was fuzzy
• A concussion was almost certain
• Jumin’s head whipped up when he heard you fall, and he immediately drove you to the hospital
• It was indeed a concussion, and the scar was unrepairable
• He was beside himself in guilt
• Watching intently as they patched you up
• It took them about three hours before he could see you
• Your neck was in a brace, and the scar was read, the skin sunk in slightly, no wider than a paint brush
• He kissed it softly before apologizing profusely
• You laughed slightly, despite the pain
• “It’s okay, but, um, what the heck were we doing.”
• You had forgot the 24 hours up to when it happened
• He carefully explained everything to you, and you listened
• He felt bad about it every time he saw your scar
• But you assured him that it didn’t matter, what a concussion and a small scar in the grand scheme of things
• Eventually he got over his guilt
• And when you two had children of your own one of his favorite stories to tell them is about how their mother defeated a giant metal dragon

Saeyoung/Seven
• It was torture trying to push you away for him
• And for you too
• But you kept pushing, and pushing
• You just couldn’t give up
• He would hear your sobs through the thin walls, and agonize over the pain he was giving you
• But it was for the best
• Wasn’t it?
• One day was especially bad
• “Don’t get near me.” He kept insisting
• But you kept pushing it
• Eventually he stopped thinking
• Shutting down he shoved you into a wall, hard
• The room echoed with a crack, amplified to the sound of a gunshot
• His façade immediately disappeared when he saw your curling up around your limp arm, your face scratched, the blood sticking in your hair
• He scooped you up, running towards his car, asking over and over if you were okay
• You were crying into his chest, the pain running through your blood, your ears ringing and your vision half fizzed out
• He rushed you to the hospital, and stayed there the whole time
• When he was allowed to see you he rushed in
• Your arm is in a cast, the bruise climbing up around your joint
• Apparently your arm also popped out of its socket
• He apologized over and over
• And you just said
• “I’m happy you don’t hate me.”
• After a few weeks in hospital, you had an infection and it took a bit longer that expected
• He helps you get into your house, where you immediately go to your room
• After a while he knocks on your door and joins you
• You’re snuggling under a bunch of covers and it takes a few minutes top pop your head out
• You smile at him
• “I’m so happy you don’t hate me.”
• “No MC, I could never hate you.”
• He kissed you lightly on the forehead
• “I love you….”

V
• You two were usually really happy together
• You leaned on each other and were complete together
• But one thing hurt that
• The surgery
• Whenever if came up you two ended up bickering and pouting for about an hour
• And one day Rika inevitably came in
• “Just tell me you love her and I’ll be gone!”
• “Don’t give me an ultimatum!”
• “What, should I just stay here to watch you agonize over another woman!”
• That was the last straw
• He picked up the first thing he could feel and chucked it at you
• It, was his tripod
• There was an ear shattering crack
• The tripod had broke, and part of it was lodged in your thigh
• You grabbed the phone and called an ambulance
• V sat there, telling you breathe, trying to comfort you, crying
• The ambulance arrived and took you away leaving him
• Seven eventually got him over to the hospital
• Where you were crying
• The bit of tripod cut through nerves, and put a hole in bone
• You would never walk again
• When he heard that V couldn’t look you in the eye
• And if he did you wouldn’t let him
Five years later
• You had left a long time ago
• He saw you sometimes, being wheeled around by Seven or some other member of the RFA
• He had gotten the surgery after, to be able to look at the pictures of you scattered around his house
• But you never looked at him
• He knew it was hist fault, he hurt you so much, he deserved it
• So why did it hurt so much?

Saeran

• He was doing much better
• All the drugs had been flushed out of his body
• There was one problem left
• The PTSD
• His attacks, although lessening, were horrible, he couldn’t recognize anyone, he’d scream, throw things, and
• You tried to pul lhim out of that darkness, but it took a long time
• One day it must’ve been especially bad
• You reached out to touch him
• And he swiftly took you arm and snapped it
• The pain was disconnecting, what was going on, you felt like you were on fire
• Who was screaming?
• Was it me?
• While you were grabbing for your phone to call an ambulance Saeyoung ra in
• Pushing past Saeran he scooped you up and took you to the hospital
• Saeran just stood there
• It took about half and hour for him to process everything
• And when he finally woke up it was Hell
• He ran to the hospital
• When he got there, the whole RFA was there
• Saeyoung walked up to him
• “She’s in surgery right now, they thought it’d be prudent to take care of it right away.”
• Those words chucked Saeran out to sea
• He couldn’t process anything, it was like the ground underneath him was made of glass, and he’d just shattered it
• It took a few hours, but finally you were allowed visitors
• And when he stepped in he knew he was lost again
• Your arm was in a metal brace, stitches spiraled down you arm, neat and carefully done, holes pocketed your skin where pieces of bone and vaccines were
• The RFA surrounded you, asking if you were in pain, did you need water, smothering you
• Saeran stayed in the corner, looking at the people outside passing by, leaning against the wall
• “You need to talk to her.”
• Saeyoung had snuck up behind him and put his hand on his brother’s shoulder
• “She won’t want to see me.” He said flatly
• “How do you know what she’s thinking right now? Have you asked her? You matter to her, no matter what she thinks of you, she’ll still want to talk.”
• Saeran looked at his brother. “And if she hates me?”
• “Well then you know, besides, I don’t think she hates you, she’s too proccupied.” Saeran nodded and, as the RFA began trickling out, walked up to you
• “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”
• You looked at him, curiosity written all over your face

  • “Why is it your fault that you have PTSD?”
  • Saeran looked up at you, disbelief written all over his face, but you were dead serious
  • “It’s not the fault of the people who have cancer that they have it, why should it be any different for people with mental issues. Sure I’m really mad, I’m frustrated, I hate this scar, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault you have PTSD.”
  • You two talked a long time
  • And came to a decision
  • Saeran would go see a professional psychiatrist regularly, and take medication as long as possible
  • The attacks stopped
  • He recovered, and what it took was hurting the one he loved the most
  • Never again

Vanderwood

  • Kids, this is why you don’t run with sharp things
  • It was a week before April Fools Day, and Saeyoung was having the time of his life
  • Constant pranks on Vanderwood
  • It was driving them crazy, and one day it got to much
  • Achievement unlocked: You’ve officially broken Vanderwood!
  • The next time Seven tried it again Vanderwood has scissors
  • They were goofing off, running around, chasing each other
  • When you had the misfortune to walk in
  • The room was chaos
  • But that wasn’t the problem
  • The problem was that Vanderwood had run into you
  • As had their scissors
  • Right into your shoulder
  • You screamed, and at first they weren’t sure why
  • Then they saw the scissors lodged in you
  • Panic mode officially on
  • The drove you to the hospital, insisting that you mustn’t pull it out, it could cause nerve damage
  • It’s good they did, because the doctors later said that themselves
  • The procedure wasn’t horrible
  • Stitches, salve, then in bed
  • Unfortunately, it would leave a bunch of scars all over your back
  • You hated those scars, they were ugly, and they were there for such a stupid reason
  • Every time you saw them poking out behind your sleeves
  • Vanderwood felt horrible
  • You didn’t let it show that they were a bother in front of them
  • But they knew
  • Eventually they confronted you
  • “Do you hate me?”
  • “Why would I?”
  • “Because of your back.”
  • You flinched, and Vanderwood thought they were a goner
  • “I understand if you never want to see me again.”
  • “No.”
  • Those words echoed throughout them, and their face furrowed in confusion
  • “I may hate them, and sometimes I may not want to see you, but that doesn’t mean that I want to never see you ever again. That’d be ridiculous.”
  • You hugged them tightly
  • “It may have been your fault, but that doesn’t mean I should hate you forever.”
  • Vanderwood was never more grateful in their life

OH MY GOD IT’S DONE!!! Now here’s to hoping it doesn’t delete FOR THE FIFTH TIME while I’m writing the closing. I’m super sorry. I lost power for over two days, then it kept deleting, it was just a nightmare. I hope you liked, and I tried to vary it. I feel so bad about Baehee and V, but I just felt like I needed to. I hope this helps you and your need for angst!! Thank you for requesting this and hope you like!

anonymous asked:

Hey I don't know if you still except prompts but if you are could you please write a small bechloe fic where Beca has a bad day or something, and when she gets home she takes a shower and shaves and she cuts herself and then she just breaks down in front of Chloe and Chloe calms her down and takes care of her. If you want to change it a bit that's fine, I just thought it could be really fluffy and cute.

sorry this took so long! I tweaked it a bit, hope that’s cool :)


“Reggie, do you have that new music for me?” Her boss asked as Beca was trying carry four cups of coffee at once.

“Not yet,” she said. “Soon, I promise.” 

“Time’s running out Reggie,” he said, putting his sunglasses on. “And so is the toilet paper so make sure you refill it.”

“Yes sir,” Beca said, cursing as she spilt coffee down the front of her shirt.
She didn’t know how she was supposed to find time to make new music at the same time as interning and working on the Bella’s set list.

“Yo, intern! Can you hurry up with the coffee?“ 

“Here you go,” Beca said, trying not to let her annoyance show. 

“Thank you. Would have been quicker to go myself,” he said.

“Maybe you should,” Beca mumbled under her breath.

It had been a long day that just seemed to get worse and worse, but finally Beca was able to go home.

All she wanted to do was sleep and not speak to anyone, but when she checked her phone she saw a message from Chloe.

Chloe: Don’t forget! Mandatory Bellas party tonight! xxx

She groaned and trudged home to shower.

She managed to avoid all the Bellas in the hall and the kitchen and escaped to the bathroom without having to talk to anyone.

She should have spotted the signs that she was having a Bad Day, but she didn’t. She obviously knew work had been stressful, and that she was tired and irritable, but she didn’t notice the signs. 

She didn’t pay attention to the fact that everyones’ voices were grating on her. They were all too loud. She didn’t notice that she’d practically dived out of the way of Fat Amy when she was walking through the kitchen. The thought of being touched right now made her feel stressed. The thought of spending a night getting drunk with her friends made her feel even more tired than she was. 

It wasn’t until her hand slipped while she was shaving and blood suddenly ran down her leg that she realised it was more than just a standard bad day. The was a Bad Day. The cut stung as soap and water ran into it, but she didn’t mind. She wanted to do it again. Desperately. She wanted to add to the many old cuts and scars that littered her legs and arms. She hadn’t done it in so long but right now, it was all she wanted to do. 

She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe. She quickly finished shaving and showering and tried to avoid looking at the tiny cut on her leg.

She dried off and had to clean the blood off her leg again before she could put a band-aid on. 

She went to throw her razor away, but held it in her hands for a few more seconds. 

Just throw it away, she told herself. Throw it away and forget about it. You’ve moved past this now. You don’t need it anymore.

A loud knock on the door snapped Beca out of her thoughts.

“Beca are you still in there? There’s a line forming out here,” Fat Amy called.

“Two seconds,” Beca replied. She dropped the razor into the trash can and tied the towel around her.

“Finally,” Fat Amy said, pushing past her to get in. 

The feeling of Amy brushing against her caused Beca to cringe. She got to her room as fast as possible, and pulled on some old pyjamas. She knew she couldn’t face this party. She didn’t think spending the night in her room alone would do her any good, but the thought of being social was just too much. She just wanted to lie down in the quiet.

She sent Chloe a text letting her know.

Beca: Gonna have to give the party a miss, Red. Bad Day. xxx

Chloe was the only person who understood Beca. She knew what Bad Day meant, and she knew how to handle her when she was like this.

Chloe: Can I come see you? xxx

Beca smiled. Chloe was just downstairs, she could have come and barged in like she usually did, but she didn’t.

Beca replied that she could and a few seconds later, Chloe knocked and came into her room.

“Hey,” she said, sitting at Beca’s desk rather than joining her on the bed. She knew to keep her distance, and to let Beca initiate any contact.

“Hi,” Beca replied. She liked that Chloe’s voice didn’t set her on edge the way the other girls’ did when she was like this. 

“So, bad day?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I thought I was just tired and stressed because of work and the Bellas but it’s more than that. I’m just… drained.”

She could tell that Chloe was itching to come and hug her, but Beca appreciated that she was restraining herself.

“You can get back to getting ready for the party,” Beca said. “I know you need at least 3 hours on your hair.”

Chloe laughed and Beca smiled.

“How can I help?” Chloe asked.

“Just… distract me for a bit,” Beca said, her smile slipping. “I really want to do something stupid.” Beca squeezed her eyes shut and started crying. “I don’t want to fuck up.”

It took all Chloe had not to rush over and hold her. But she knew that Bad Day Beca meant don’t touch unless she lets you. She knew it meant calm voices, and distractions. But Chloe could do that.

So she started talking about nothing. About her classes, and her latest Russian Lit essay. About her professor and the fact that he wore the same pink salmon coloured pants every day. She made Beca laugh, and soon Beca lifted her hand for Chloe to take.

Chloe crossed the room quickly and pulled Beca into her arms.

They could hear the party getting louder downstairs but Chloe didn’t move. 

“You can go enjoy yourself,” Beca said, closing her eyes as she rested her head against Chloe’s chest. “You’re missing your party.”

“I don’t care about that,” Chloe said. “I care about you.”