i really like seeing what kind of shepards people play as

10 Things I Loved About Mass Effect:Andromeda

Warning: Spoilers! And I wrote this on the spur, so there might be grammatical errors.

1.      I enjoyed the story. Yeah, people will say it recycles from the trilogy, but come on, people. Why are you surprised? Bioware recycles their plotlines all the time. It’s pretty much the same in all of their games. A protagonist gains special abilities and leads a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits team to defeat a big threat. And I’m not bothered by that. Sometimes familiarity in your franchise is good, just as long as you do new things to the formula, and I think they do.

What interested me the most was the theme of starting over. A lot of people in the Andromeda Initiative were former criminals or outcasts. The reason they joined was to start a new life, and it’s explored in the main questlines, the loyalty quests, and numerous side quests. I was worried about the game talking about colonization since humans are looking for a new home, but I was pleasantly surprised that the game made it clear that Andromeda is the angara’s home first, and humans and other Milky Way species will have to work with them. Thank god! No Mightey Whitey trope this time!

2.      Ryder as the player character. I honestly never thought I would love Ryder as much as I did when I played the game. Sure, no one will ever replace Commander Shepard, but Ryder isn’t meant to replace the Commander, rather show a different perspective in a new story. Commander Shepard is the hero we want to be while Ryder is more of a relatable character. Ryder has to learn through the entire game how to be a leader while going through the obstacles of their inexperience and youth so people will take them seriously. And it was compelling, uplifting, and at times amusing to see them become a hero in their own right and step out of their father’s shadow.

Also Sara and Scott felt like their own person. In the original trilogy, the player character is pretty much the same no matter what gender. But sometimes the dialogue can be different depending on if you play a male Ryder or a female Ryder. That’s because they are two different people who have had their own experiences and personalities. That really adds to the replay value!

3.      Female aliens everywhere! One of my major issues with the original trilogy was the lack of female Turians, krogans, and salarians. Sure we had asari an all-female race, and female quarians, but it felt weird that we met so many aliens with very few ladies. Not only do we get a female Turian squadmate, we also get plenty of lady alien NPCs gathered everywhere for random quests. We also have Kesh who works at the Nexus. And we get to see female salarians! And they kind of look the same as male salarians except with different voices. Thank god! It would’ve been horrifying to see salarians with boobs. Uh! And I’m pretty sure there were just as many female angara NPCs as there were males.

4.      The romances. Especially the queer ones. One of the things I love about Bioware games are the romance paths. Bonus points if there is a queer option. And as of patch 1.08, this game has the most number of queer romances in any Bioware game. I think my two favorite romance paths are with Sara and Vetra and Jaal and Scott. While representation for the LGBT community is improving in media, there’s no denying we still have a long way to go. And after again the crap year 2016 where we had a huge number of queer women characters die in tv shows, it was so wonderful to have a healthy and happy relationship between two women when I first played the game. And even if it wasn’t added until the patch, the romance between Jaal and Scott is absolutely sweet since we see two men show a lot of love and affection for each other which is rare to see in media.

5.      The Tempest Family. I adore every single character on the Tempest, and they really did feel like a family once you played further into the game. I am a sucker for found families, and to see these people who are trying to find a home ending up finding a home with each other just gives me so many feels!

Since there’s not really a huge crew in the ship like in the original trilogy when Shepard had an army of humans. In Andromeda, we have six squad mates, four additional crew members, and Ryder. And I think it made the family more intimate. It’s like our own little family lives on the Tempest.

Also I liked how there were more quests spread out throughout the game with the squad which I think was lacking in Inquisition. Plus. Movie Night is the best scene ever!

6.      In my opinion, the side quests were fun. I think this was one thing they improved from Inquisition. Inquisition side quests just felt like a bunch of fetch quests that got kind of boring pretty quick, and didn’t really add to the overall story. Some highlights from Andromeda were: Kadara, the angara reincarnation questline, the Turian jailed for murder, the anti-AI group, meeting Zaeed’s son, and those kids sending out a distress signal for a new light for their weed plant. HAHA!

They were compelling in their own right and included cut scenes instead of the Inquisitor going to some location like in Skyrim to do a thing come back to the quest giver saying, “I did the thing.” “Ok, good.”

7.      Unlike in Inquisition, there’s actual payoff for some of the quests you do. I don’t mean to be mean to Inquisition, I still love the game, but remember when we were promised that you had to build your forces up in order to defend against the main threat. Yeah, you built forces to get influence points to gain perks, and that’s it.

In Andromeda, while, yes. It’s not the same level as Mass Effect 2. When you actually complete quests and help out leaders, you can get different results during the final battle. Like, there’s a chance Captain Dunn may not survive.

Also, when you get 100% viability on all the planets, you get a special surprise on Habitat 7- being told that it will one day be habitable because of our efforts. Sure it was a side quest, but it just felt so rewarding!

8.      The climax was actually fulfilling and exciting. Again, something else Inquisition was lacking in. Seriously, when I first played Andromeda, I legit gasped when the archon was taking control of SAM node. The villain was actually living up to his threatening nature!

Just when we think we got everything under control, and are about to find Meridian, the Archon fucks shit up, and our sibling has to step up to save the day. Then we have to gather people we helped out and prepare for a final battle, and Ryder can finally prove themselves as a true Pathfinder and kick the Archon’s ass once and for all. People are saying the ending was as disappointing as ME3’s? Pfft…What are you even talking about?

9.      The angara. Bioware never fails to make me love an entire fictional species. Yeah, it feels a bit off that they pretty much have the same faces and the same 3 voice actors, but I really do love their culture. And I appreciate that they were clearly coded as POC while Andromeda didn’t go through with the whole Mighty Whitey Trope. The game wants you to respect their culture and to respect their home.

I love the angaran people are open about their feelings, I love how their religion believes in reincarnation, I love how we see angaran scientists, soldiers, merchants, mercenaries, and civilians. Also Aya and Hivraal are absolutely gorgeous!

And when Jaal finds out his people were created by the Kett, I was worried it was going to go the Dalish elves route, but Jaal points out that it doesn’t change anything about the angara. They are still their own people. And that was such an uplifting message.

10.  The overall light-hearted tone. I wrote a small post that got a good number of notes. (Probably the biggest number I’ve ever gotten), so to quote: “There was always this sense of hope and optimism about finding a new home. ‘Yeah, things may have gone totally wrong, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them better’ was the overall message I got.

And really, with so many bad things happening in the world right now and too much of our entertainment supposedly being our escapism being dark for the sake of dark, this was something I think a lot of us needed.”

Mass Effect 3 had its light-hearted moments, and I love it, but man, that game was emotional draining.

It’s a bit discouraging to love something so much and get recommended videos on youtube pointing out the same flaws of that certain game, and why they thought it was a huge disappointment. Do I agree with some of their criticisms? Sure. Does the history behind the production explain the flaws? Oh absolutely.

           But people seem to forget that the original Mass Effect trilogy wasn’t without its flaws. I mean, sure everyone can agree on the Mass Effect 3 ending, but I could make a list of all the issues I have with the other Bioware games including Dragon Age: Inquisition (which despite winning Game of the Year, kind of suffers the same problems Andromeda had).

           So yeah, after the crap year of 2016, I was so excited to get a newly-released game that made me happy. And still makes me happy, and makes me in the mood to play another Ryder.

surviving (and maybe even thriving) in the sherlock fandom after s4

…OR, maybe even kind of sort of learning how to enjoy oneself again while being a johnlocker.

This is a post for people who are on the fence / still turned off by s4 / still struggling with how to frame it for themselves. 

In light of the upcoming fic writers’ retreat, in anticipation of (I hope) having a conversation or two about this very topic, and in partial response to comments that my good fandom friends have dropped recently about their struggles with feeling like they don’t want to engage with the show or the fandom after s4, I’ve been thinking about how to continue on as a johnlocker, and why I feel more motivated than ever to find a way to have a relationship with the show (albeit a substantially altered one than before), and what fandom engagement means to me. 

It probably doesn’t look like it, because I’ve participated full throttle in all kinds of conversations about the show since s4, but I do get why s4 was entirely offputting for a lot of people. While I strongly suspect that mofftiss are doing something interesting and unusual with s4, that whatever-it-is came at a heavy price: a series that looks like a hot fucking mess and actively does things that one should never do (i.e., constantly throwing into question the reality status of the story one is telling) if one wants to avoid frustrating the shit out of one’s audience. 

What’s worse, the series was promoted with a promise of FINALLY answering the question of who Sherlock loves, without delivering on that promise in a way that was in any way definitive (John? Molly? Irene? Chips?) or satisfying (JOHN???). We got a scene that was really close to the kind of thing we’ve always wanted to see, at the end of The Lying Detective, an episode that also brought us an interaction between John and Sherlock that was so awful, it singlehandedly ruined the show for a lot of people. 

Even though I love the shit out of talking about the puzzle of s4, I love it because I love how smart everyone in the fandom is, and how much I’ve learned about Doyle, and the many many intertexts the show engages with. I love how stunningly great people here are with teasing complex arguments out of this hot mess. 

I don’t love that we got this weird thing to figure out instead of actual story. I don’t love that for some reason a major plot point was John and Sherlock detonating their relationship even more profoundly than they had before. I still think that the more skillful thing to do would have been to make a puzzle for viewers to figure out, but make it actually enjoyable to watch. (Personally, I did enjoy TLD, but I’m a sucker for Nick Hurran’s direction, I thought Ben and Martin performed incredibly, and I have a high tolerance for creepy shit and violence, so.)


I’ve been thinking about a few of the strategies I’ve put in place / fallen back on for approaching all of this. I don’t know if any of this is helpful but here it is, for what it’s worth.

Acknowledge that the showrunners are human people and human people make good choices and bad choices and questionable choices

Before s4 aired, I wrote about the fact that mofftiss had set up a highwire act with extraordinarily high stakes, as of the end of s3. This meant they could pull off an astounding feat of storytelling, or they could fall. Instead they sort of burned down the circus tent and re-encoded all the elephants…not what any of us were expecting. I mean, surprises in storytelling can be great, but this was like hey everyone, suddenly the show is going to be performed in Esperanto instead of English, have fun with that.

Questionable at best.

To sum up: good choices resulted in the following:

Ben and Martin in s1 and 2 creating this beautiful dynamic together, eyesex and all the subtext and a tragic love story with mistakes and denial and pining and hope. s3, which bumped up the subtext to the point of ridiculousness. And TAB, which doubled down on that subtext EVEN HARDER. The purple shirt of sex and the swishy coat of alone protects me and a stalwart and broken John who is finally strong enough to partner his Sherlock and enough sexual and romantic tension to drown the population of the earth planet and a Mary Morstan who is actually Moran and there’s always two of us and hey did I mention romance yet?

We got all that, and then we got–this s4 thing.

Let me tell you about writers (speaking as one). They shit the bed all the time. They make weird choices. They have strange ideas. They fail to stick the landing. When that happens, it’s their tragedy. It doesn’t have to be yours. 

Maybe this story isn’t done yet. I don’t think it is. I’m willing and able to reserve judgement, but this post is for those of you who aren’t, or can’t. 

You can still like the parts of the show that you liked before. You weren’t wrong for liking what worked for you before. You would not be wrong now, for still liking those bits. All the shitty choices the showrunners could make, did make, and might still make, do not make you wrong for liking the bits you liked.

You can still like the parts of the show that you liked before. 

Need permission for that? Here it is: BECAUSE MAY SHEPARD SAYS SO. I’ll make you a certificate if you want. 

Need more specific help? Here’s another idea:

Get selfish. Get really, really selfish.

Remember that you are here for you. You came here, probably, because thinking about John and Sherlock together is something you enjoyed. Back immediately after s4 aired, and I was still stuck firmly in the wtf zone, I had to have a talk with myself about this. 

I asked myself what I liked about the show. Why John and Sherlock, together, were so crunchy and beautiful to me. It came down to one thing: the fact that I read the show as a love story. 

I’m here for my own entertainment. This is my happy place. This is where I come when my regular writing is stuck or I want to try to hack out a new part of my skill set. I get a lot out of thinking about John and Sherlock, as characters.

I still read the show as a love story, and I will continue to do so.

That means, in light of s4, doing a lot more reading in to the little moments than I used to have to. It means cherry picking a lot harder. It means ignoring vast swaths of what we actually saw onscreen. (The fact that this is the current state of meta too helps a whole heck of a lot.) 

Playing the what if game a lot harder than I have previously has become the rule of the day. 

What if John and Sherlock are in love? They are. For me, they are, and they always will be. Will they be in canon? Get yourself to a place where this question doesn’t matter, where your personal happiness doesn’t hang on this. We’re several months on after s4. It’s time to give your head a shake and remember that John and Sherlock love each other and will always find their way back to each other, because we say so. 

If you don’t believe this, try because May Shepard says so. I’ll say it until you believe it, too: John and Sherlock are in love. The show is a love story.

I will read the show as a love story, regardless of whether it wants me to. Hey show, get ready for some sweet sweet interpretation. I hope you’re in the mood.

Still not convinced? Try this thought experiment:

Put Some Distance Between You and S4

So a few nights back I was chatting with @laughing-at-the-darkness​ (who is the best, go follow her immediately), and I jokingly said that what we need in this fandom is a reset, like the kind of perspective you can only get ten years after a television show has finished airing. 

Try this on for size:

The year is 2027. You’re looking for some good content to watch. You remember hearing, dimly, about the fact that, a while back, BBC made a Sherlock Holmes adaptation with some pretty famous actors. 

You read about it a bit first. Ah yes: the adaptation that everyone was raving about, but that did a weird thing in its fourth series. Bearing this in mind, you decide to watch. 

You’re charmed by series 1-3, and the one-off Victorian special. You decide to watch s4, bearing in mind what you know about it, that it seemed to go off the rails relative to everything that had come before. You watch, prepared to laugh along at Mary’s bullet tango and the way she just won’t seem to go away and Sherlock has a sister who is also an X-Man? What???? 

You watch it. You shrug. You carry on thinking that s1-3 and TAB are great, like you were prepared to do. 

We know what we know now: that s4 is a difficult part of canon, a stumbling block for a lot of us. If you can accept that, then you can move forward, liking the parts you like, and leaving the parts you don’t.

Moving On

I still personally have some questions about how to deal with s4 as a fic writer. There are so many potential interpretations–how does one go about sorting through the detritus? A lot of people don’t want to / can’t bring themselves to rewatch, so how much can I assume they do and don’t remember about the episodes? But these are mostly logistical issues, and solvable with some rational decision making. (I did start a fic a while back based on TST, but I wasn’t ready to finish it, and I don’t think people wanted that type of fix it in that particular moment.) s4 changed the stakes for a lot of people, so writing fic now is all about writing to a different emotional register, I think. I’m personally having fun with that, while sorting through the implications for the wips I started before s4 aired. I’m hoping we can talk about some of these issues, as writers, and as fans, but that’s a post for another day.

In any case, I’m here, John and Sherlock are in love, and I hope this is helpful in some way. I don’t want anyone to lose the thing that used to give them enjoyment, nor (on a more selfish note) do I want to see people still leaving the fandom if they don’t have to. 

Companions react to Sole binding their wounds.

After a rather gnarly fight against some super mutants the Sole Survivor manages to get their companion somewhere safe so they can get them patched up. 

Cait: “Get the hell off of me. I can take care of myself, dammit!” Cait being the tough gal that she is has a hard time accepting help. She feels weak and pathetic for having someone drag her somewhere safe. Sole could not convince her to let them lend her a hand.”Fucking A! Fine,” after much bickering and swearing, Cait allowed Sole patch her up. She groaned and muttered mockery the entire time. But afterwards when Sole cooked up some baked boatfly she thanked them and acted as if nothing happened.    

Codsworth: “Oh thank you mum/sir! Those brutes did a number on me.” During the fight Codsworth managed to loose a limb. So after playing marco pollo with butler’s arm they headed to a decently held up house. Luckily Sole found the right equipment to rewire and screw the piece back on. When they later returned to Sanctuary it was quite the story.

Curie: “Madame/monsieur? I believe there is a problem.” At first Curie would remain calm while clutching her wound. Curie would instruct Sole what to do when addressing the wound. But once things started getting down to the more painful parts of taking care of an injury she’d start getting emotional. She’d ask,”This is going to hurt, yes?” before Sole would do something. She’d purse her lips looking up at the ceiling, eyes glistening in her eyes. 

Danse: He’d tough it out as long as possible, but once they got to the house he wearily stepped out of his power armor and started unzipping his jumpsuit. He’d hold some antibacterial substance above the his wound with a shaky hand. Sole took the bottle out of his hand and picked up where he left off. He didn’t say anything, watching them patch him up. After a few moments of silent he’d thank them. Even long after this he’d think of it, and do small things to make up for it. Such as, cleaning their weaponry, working out kinks in their power armor–things like that.

Deacon: Deacon’s sunglasses lay askew on his face, as Sole dragged him to a decently put together house. He’d joke around the entire way there saying, ”I’m fine boss. You should’ve seen me after I single handedly took out a deathclaw, after taking her eggs for a Railroad breakfast.” Once getting him seated Sole would take off his shirt so they could get to the wound. He’d smirk and say,”Getting right down to business are we? Should’ve just said so..” Then unzipping his zipper. After being asked he zipped up his pants. But when  it came to actually dealing with the wound he’d go,”OW OW OWW,” just like he does in the game. Deacon would definitely give Sole a run for their money, but in a comical and charming way. 

Dogmeat: Poor Dogmeat got in the middle of the green giants trying to protect Sole, which ended in a nasty wound. When Sole was fixing the poor german shepard he’d whimper and look at them with his sad puppy dog eyes. Afterwards Dogmeat would shower Sole in puppy dog kisses. 

Hancock: “Well isn't this peachy?” He muttered as Sole helped him inside the nearby house. Hancock slid off his coat and undershirt,”You think it’ll stain?” He asks. As Sole patched him up he stared at their hands working on his rough skin.”You’re pretty good with your hands, aren’t ya?” He smirks. After getting the reaction he wanted out of Sole, he looks at his coat and sighs, more hurt by the blood soaked in his uniform than the gushing wound on his side. While indulging on a mentat or two, Sole used the time to clean the ghoul’s bloodied outfit. Hancock was elated to see his coat clean and stain free. Together the Sole Survivor and the grateful Ghoul lived up the rest of night with a few drinks and puffs of jet by the fire.

Maccready: “Aww shit- i mean..shoot. I’ve been hit pretty bad Sole.” The Sole Survivor walked Maccready to a nearby house and sat him in a random chair in the middle of the room. But when Maccready was seated the chair broke from underneath him, his butt crashing into the floor.”Arghhh, you’ve got to be friggin’ kidding me?!” He groaned as he got up with the help of Sole. The entire time Maccready had a disgustingly cute grimace on his face, his arms crossed. Sole finally started to laugh at his misfortune after realizing that the wound isn’t fatal.”Shut up, its not funny Sole!” He’d scold, his face growing into a crimson red color. He couldnt stop thinking of how hard his ass hit the floor– how embarrassing.

Nick Valentine: “It’s alright kid, I’ve got it covered. You take care of yourself right now, okay?” Nick politely declined Sole’s offer and pulled out a screw driver, tuning up his exposed metal hand. After he was satisfied with his handiwork he brought Sole some purified water as they cooked dinner,”Drink up, it’s been a long day.” They’d sit there for a bit while Nick lit up a smoke,”I appreciate you looking out for me, Sole, it means a lot. But you don’t need to worry about an old bot like me, I can handle myself.”

Piper: “Thanks Blue, I really- Ouch! Could you be a little kinder with the peroxide?” Piper would talk the entire time, and be interrupted by Sole doing something that resulted in her to remark with,”Oh boy..This again?” or “Jeez Blue, that really hurts.” Afterwards she’d slowly stand up and say,”Well, that could’ve gone smoother.” 

Preston: ”Thank you General, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Preston accepts Sole’s help willingly. He’s always taking care of other people, it’s nice to be helped for change. But of course he’s as humble as can be. Giving Sole a kind smile after being patched up, complimenting them on their handiwork. The morning afterwards he makes them a mirelurk egg omelet, then continues saving the commonwealth with his best friend.

Strong: “Strong is not weak like human! Supermutant is strong!” A bullet wound is the equivalent to a splinter to Strong. And is annoyed and angered by Sole’s request.

X6-88: “Ma’am/Sir I appreciate your concern, but there is no need.” X6 would go on about how Sole is wasting their time, and how he is more than capable to treat himself–no matter how badly injured he is. But once Sole finally gets him to sit down, he becomes quiet. Behind his sunglasses he watches Sole patch him up, secretly feeling warmth in his chest from the sincere concern and care being showed for him. 

Favorite Garrus Moments - Mass Effect 3

So Part 3 of my favorite moments with my favorite Turian. But there were just so many to choose from! I couldn’t … I couldn’t list them all. You know how long this would end up being??? Waaaay too long. I may have to do a Part 4 of Mass Effect 3, but for now I hope you enjoy. Note: This one does have Citadel and Leviathan DLC moments. So … spoilers?

Garrus: Yeah, soo … is this the part where we … shake hands? Wasn’t sure about the protocol on reunions, or if you even still felt the same way about me. The scars are starting to fade. I remember they drove you wild … But I can go out and get all new ones if it’ll help.
Shepard: I haven’t forgotten our time together.
Garrus: Well I’ve been doing some research on human customs … didn’t want to assume any—
Shepard: *Kisses him* That’s the protocol on reunions.
Garrus: The vids mentioned it might go something like that. I had hoped it would. I mean, I didn’t know-

Garrus: Listen, Shepard. I’m all for Crazy ideas, but this one’s off the charts.

Shepard: Goodbye, Garrus. And if I’m up there in that bar and you’re not—I’ll be looking down. You’ll never be alone.
Garrus: Never.

Mercs: I think that turian they’ve got is Archangel! How the hell are we going to kill him?!
Garrus: You’re not!

Wrex: I appreciate that, Liara. I wouldn’t want anyone else along for the ride.
Garrus: *coughs*
Wrex: I suppose I could make room for you too, Garrus.
Garrus: Figured you’d gone soft sitting on your throne, forgot how to hold a gun.

Garrus: Shepard?! Wake up! She’s freezing!
Shepard: *bolts up and begins coughing*
Garrus: Are you okay?
Shepard: *still coughing* Yeah … yeah, I’m fine. Hell of a headache.
Garrus: Never do that again.

Joker: Maybe something was … mis-calibrated?
Garrus: You do know who you’re talking to, right?

Garrus: I’ll start managing turian support right away, Shepard. You must be exhausted. Mordin dying … it can’t be easy.
Shepard: I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Garrus: We both know you need a clear head to win a war. There’s no room for mistakes here. You should catch some shut-eye. Besides, I know where you sleep. We’ll wake you if anything comes up.
Shepard: If you insist

Garrus: So. Who needs their ass kicked now?

Garrus: Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there … meet me at the bar. I’m buying.
Shepard: We’re a team, Garrus. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian.

Garrus: Ever have that one thing you’ve always wanted to do before you died, Shepard?
Shepard: I’ve woken up with a turian next to me.
Garrus: Still trying to make me blush, huh?
Shepard: Until it works.

James: Hey, pendejos! Our Shepard is better than yours!
Garrus: And better looking!

Shepard: It’s incredible.
Garrus: I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope it would inspire a certain … mood.
Shepard: Something on your mind?
Garrus: It seemed like you needed time to … figure us out. Are you ready to be a one-turian kind of woman?
Shepard: The only thing that made leaving earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere.
Garrus: I felt the same way. The worst part about the galaxy going to hell would’ve been never getting to see you again.
Shepard: Well, here I am. Exactly where I want to be. I love you, Garrus Vakarian
Garrus: Wow … the vides Joker gave me … well, they never got this far. There was the part about sleeping together, but this … I don’t exactly know what to do—
Shepard: *kisses him* Who needs a vid when you’ve got me?

Liara: But there was one thing I was unable to verify. Did you really kill three Blue Suns mercs with one bullet?
Garrus: Well … the third one died from a heart attack, so it’s not fair to count him.

Shepard: I guess we’re back on the clock.
Garrus: And when this is over, I’m sure we’ll find something to do off the clock.

Shepard: Is that supposed to melt a girl’s heart?
Garrus: No … but this voice is *leans in closer*. I’m Garrus Vakarian. Codename: Archangel. All-around turian bad boy and dispenser of justice in an unjust galaxy. I also kill reapers on the side. And you are?

Garrus: Shepard … is it just the alcohol, or do you have vids running in your head of us mostly naked, completely alone, and shamelessly rolling all over a couch?

Garrus: So … I guess it’s back to the fight.
Shepard: Yeah. At least we threw one hell of a party. Probably the last one.
Garrus: That doesn’t sound like my girl. You’ll find a way to win. And when this is over, I’ll be waiting for you.

Garrus: One of my favorite places to fight!
Shepard: The CIC of a warship?
Garrus: Right there above gardens and below electronic shops!
Shepard: And Antique Shops, as I recall!

Joker: How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
Joker: You’re shitting me! The turian military has one about me?
Garrus: Oh absolutely! I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
Joker: All right, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
Garrus: So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
Joker: Damn, you need to tell James that one.

Garrus: We’re going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids. Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like.
Shepard: *laughs* I’m game … though I think adoptions a better idea—biology may not cooperate.
Garrus: Hmm … I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan around soon.

Garrus: Looking good, Shepard.
Shepard: I did the best I could without a carapace or a crest.
Garrus: Your best has my mandible on the floor. Damn.

Garrus: What do we know about the mercs?
Shepard: They have guns and don’t like me?
Garrus: Not helping, Shepard.

Shepard: There are a few people who’ve seen me in action, Garrus. They seemed impressed.
Garrus: Yeah, but I’ve actually seen you dance, Shepard. No comment.

Garrus: Shepard … thought you might be up here. You know what the best part is about a battle that decides the whole fate of the galaxy?
Shepard: Winning it?
Garrus: I was thinking … it’s a good excuse to remind the ones you care about that … well … you care about them. Want some company?

Garrus: Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you… come back alive.

Garrus: You sure you want to play this game?
James: What’s the matter, Vakarian, you chicken?
Garrus: I don’t even know what that is—though I’ve heard everything in the galaxy tastes like it.

Garrus: To borrow a phrase from Vega—you looked smoking in that dress, Shepard. You got some looks. So did I … though the ones directed at me said, ‘How did a turian like that, get a girl like her?’ Hell if I know.

Garrus: I am Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!

Garrus: Perfect! A human. I’m kind of on the outs with my human girlfriend Could you give me some insights?
Security Guard: Sir … I am definitely not an expert.

Garrus: Still think you can win this, huh?
James: I can do this all day, Scars.
Garrus: Funny you mention those … ever hear the name ‘Archangel?’

Garrus: *in elevator* So … anyone wanna talk about their people’s history?
Wrex: Nope.
Garrus: So I’m the only one who misses when we used to chat in the elevators back on Citadel?
Wrex: Yep.
Garrus: *sighs* So disappointed.

Shepard: What a night … but look who’s here.
Garrus: Yeah, I hung out a lot of places last night. Your upper body. Your lower body. Pretty much allll the parts in between.
Shepard: Turians certainly don’t lack for a sense of direction.
Garrus: And you don’t lack for places to get lost.

Garrus: Shepard! Can you hear me?! Are you okay?!
Shepard: I’m fine. Might need a little backup.
Garrus: Lucky for you, Archangel is your boyfriend. Joker filled me in, I’m on foot. Be there as fast as I can.

Garrus: So … having a bad day, Shepard?
Shepard: You could say that.
Garrus: Landing pad is just over there, but it’s behind a locked gate.
Shepard: Let’s look for a control panel.
Garrus: *gets distracted watching Shepard walk by* Niiice outfit …
Shepard: *glares at Garrus*
Garrus: Control panel. Right.

Shepard: You gotta get out of here!
Garrus: And you’ve gotta be kidding me!
Shepard: Don’t argue, Garrus.
Garrus: We’re in this till the end.
Shepard: No matter what happens … you know I love you. I always will.
Garrus: Shepard I … love you too.

Garrus: Shepard … I admit, I was worried about you on that dig site. Things got pretty hectic. Not used to feeling like that, you know? That’s what love does … turns a guy like me into a nervous wreck with something to lose and the aim to make sure he doesn’t. Nobody better hurt you, is all I’m saying.

Garrus: Jack … as charming as ever.
Jack: Bite me, Garrus. Better yet, bite her. Probably how she likes it.

Garrus: Glad to know my romantic … uh … skills made an impression. Because it’s going to take more than Reapers to come between this cross-species liaison.

Wrex: Garrus … I have to make with the one turian in the galaxy who thinks he’s funny.
Garrus: Imagine how I feel. I’m supposed to hate krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

Plain Jane

MERweek Fanfiction Prompt Day 1: How We Met

A/N - I decided to write about James and Jane today! Because I love them to death and they’ve been in my head a lot lately!


Commander Shepard was tiny.

Of all the things to notice about Jane Shepard now that he was finally meeting her in the flesh, James Vega wasn’t sure why that one fact stood out to him. But it did. And he swallowed nervously as she glanced up at him from where she sat in the Normandy’s brig, her large green eyes barely pausing on him before they moved on. Dismissing him. He almost drooped with disappointment as Anderson introduced him and Shepard acknowledged him with a shrug.

“Play nice, Jane,” Anderson warned as he took his leave. “Vega here has seen almost as much action as you have.”

She’d looked at him with interest then, her gaze lingering on his old scars before focusing on his newer cuts and bruises with  laser beam precision. He’d fought hard not to squirm, wondering how he measured up against the kinds of people she’d fought alongside for the last few years. But whatever she saw seemed to amuse her and she smiled at Anderson like a cat who had the cream.

Shepard leaned back against the wall, and James noted that her long red hair was confined to a sizable bun on the back of her head. “Yeah, I’ll play nice. Though one soldier wouldn’t be enough to stop me getting away if I really wanted to. No matter how big or impressive he is.”

Big and impressive, James almost preened, he’d take it.

Anderson only laughed. “He’s not here to stop you escaping. He’s here to keep you safe.”

Then he was gone and they were alone.

James shuffled awkwardly, trying hard not to stare as Jane looked at him again. He couldn’t get the image of her from the Alliance pin up calendar out of his mind, the same calendar image he had stupidly packed into his bag and brought along. What if someone found it? Realised that he was more of a fan of Commander Shepard than he had let on? He squirmed with shame at the thought.

“What’d you do to pull this shit duty?” She asked suddenly, hooking one leg up and pulling the knee to her chest to she could rest her chin on it.

The movement was adorable, and James struggled to stay focused. “I, uh, got a medal and an N-School recommendation. And then skipped out on it and went AWOL. Got into a bar fight with some batarians over, uh, something or other, but that’s when Anderson tracked me down. I thought he’d arrest me or something. Instead I got sent to keep an eye on you.” 

Her eyes darkened and she tilted her head slightly as she watched him, her perceptive gaze missing nothing as she took in his discomfort. “It must have been bad,” she said softly.

“What?” He blinked and met her eyes.

Sea green and beautiful. His body reacted almost immediately and he jerked his gaze away. Dios. This wasn’t good. He’d only just met her and he was acting like a teenager with a crush.

“Whatever they gave you the N-School recommendation for. It must have been bad.” 

Her statement was like a bucket of ice water being thrown over him, and without realising what he was doing, James stepped back. He swallowed hard, refusing to let those memories creep back in. “I don’t talk about it.”

“Fair enough.” She pushed to her feet, her head barely reaching his chin when she faced him. “It’s nice to meet you, Lieutenant. I’d shake your hand, but … the bars make it hard.” 

Tiny. Gorgeous. With skin like porcelain, and the kind of curves that made men lose their minds. 

James forced himself to keep his eyes on her face. “Thank you, Commander.”

“Just Shepard now,” she shrugged. “I’m not Commander Shepard anymore. Just plain old Jane.”

He snorted at that and turned away before she could see him blush, and before he said the words that had automatically popped into his head; that someone as lovely as her would never be plain.


It’s almost routine, now. The swoosh of the elevator, the slap of Shepard’s boots on the floor as she rounds the corner to the galley, looking for a fresh cup of coffee at two in the morning. Joker’s already switched the pot to decaf, and the way he avoids looking at it confirms that he’s also slipped in a couple of the melatonin tablets he got from Chakwas.

Joker plays another card. Ace, the fucker. He takes Kaidan’s eight and adds it to his disproportionally high pile. The irony that the two of them spend their late nights playing War isn’t lost on him. Joker finds it funny, and it’s better than both of them sitting in the mess thinking about all the ways their families aren’t safe, all the ways they can’t help.

They’re certainly not the only ones who seem nocturnal these days. Sometimes Vega joins them. Chakwas. It’s rare, but Garrus does on occasion venture out of the battery to seek solace with company. Cortez clings to the isolation of the shuttle bay, which seems to be what Vega worries about most. It’s a bad night whenever the eternal optimist and chronic early riser Adams is fixing a sandwich at this weird witching hour they can’t seem to claw their way out of.

But Joker and Kaidan are the most frequent customers, and they’ve got a system now. Kaidan cooks a little. Joker rigs the coffee. They can’t force Shepard to sleep, but they can game the system a little. Kaidan wonders if they’re crossing a line with the melatonin. Tends to think they’ve all crossed so many lines at this point one more won’t make a difference.

That line of thinking doesn’t exactly make him feel warm and fuzzy.

Keep reading

llévame si quieres / shance / rated g 

(take me if you want)

i live to write meet-cute fic. shiro takes his dogs to the park and meets the world’s cutest uncle and his niece. 


Lance and his little niece, petting Shiro’s dog, looking soft and serene; it’s like nothing could ever be truly wrong in the world if this is able to happen. What Shiro wouldn’t give to have this sight in front of him over and over again. He scratches Sirius behind the ears, and gets a reassuring lick in return as an act of solidarity. You’ve got this. Man’s best friend, for real.

(full fic under cut)

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A little Shore Leave

Shepard and her crew had spent about three days on Feros in total and after that mission ended it was time for some shore leave. Shepard didn’t think this was the time for such a thing- but Adam’s down in the drive core insisted. After she thought about it, a checkup wouldn’t hurt anyone. Plus, it was Jokers birthday that weekend.

She really could use a few days break after the non-stop missions they’d had. The stress of it all weighing down on her a bit. She always had insomnia, but this was something else. Shepard found herself laying in bed every night staring at her ceiling. The minutes blurred into hours and night after night she grew more restless. After every mission she had new bruises and scars. Each one telling it’s own story. And the difficulty to find peace in her bed crept further away. She really did need a break, her body needed the break.

When the Normandy arrived at the Citadel a few days later the crew started to disperse and Shepard had no idea what to do with herself. How could she relax knowing what was coming? After all that she had seen so far? All of her thoughts had been on the mission. Reapers, Saren and the geth… sometimes during those sleepless nights she even found herself thinking about Garrus…

Shepard stood on the docking bay outside of the Normandy saluting, waving and hugging off her crew members for the weekend. Garrus waited by the elevator watching her. He could see how each crew member had a different relationship with Shepard, and they were all personalized and unique. Shepard knew everyone on that ship. She knew their service history, details about their families… their hopes, dreams and fears. But it wasn’t just that she felt obligated to know them, Shepard was genuinely interested in them all. Garrus remembered her saying that knowing her crew made her stronger. It gave her something to fight for.

She really is incredible. Beautiful.

Wait a minute. Incredible? Beautiful? He couldn’t remember the last time he had referred to anyone with such high regard. Garrus never really had time for relationships and it’s not like he had a thing for humans… He had heard about the fetishes but he never found one attractive. Well, not until Shepard.

Garrus thought about how protective he was of her, all those long nights learning each other. The way she smiled at him. That smile that was only his…It didn’t matter what sleep deprived thoughts he was having in that moment only one thing really mattered: she was human, and he was turian.

Even if it wasn’t weird for the obvious reasons he could think of multiple other reasons it couldn’t happen. She was his superior. His boss. His Commander. Maybe that should have been higher up the list of problems in his fantasy… Whatever he was feeling was nothing, a momentary lapse. Shepard was his best friend. He cared for her deeply and in those couple months she had been a better friend to him than anyone he had ever known.

He thought about how Shepard had kept her word and helped him track down Dr. Saleon. Once he saw the doctor he’d been tracking all reason went out the window: he wanted blood. She had seen the look in his eyes, ordering him to stand down. Garrus respected her too much to disobey a direct order, so reluctantly he complied. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew she was right.

Killing Dr. Saleon would solve nothing. It wouldn’t bring those people back. I wouldn’t undo all the time Garrus spent tracking him. But if they took him in they could get some information; about the hostages, what he had been up to… anything. They didn’t know what the doctor had been doing, or if he had been harvesting organs again somewhere else. Had he got himself into a bigger mess they didn’t know about under his new allies Dr. Heart? Garrus knew he would be more useful to them alive. It didn’t end up mattering in the end though, Dr. Saleon refused to go into custody and ended up dying anyway.

What was the point of this… he had ended up dead like he had wanted. Why couldn’t he have just killed him at the start before he had a chance to try and run again? He would never forget what Shepard said in response,

Garrus… You can’t predict how people will act. But you can control how you’ll respond. In the end… that’s all that really matters.’  Shepard had been right. Again.

Working with her really had been eye opening for Garrus. Shepard had seen the path he was headed down before he even did… A path not that different from Saren’s actually. In that moments Garrus watched her, he realized what this had all been about. It had been about saving him. Shepard didn’t care about Dr. Saleon. She cared about him. She had been trying to stop him from turning into someone he would hate.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Shepard.’ Garrus had told her that day. He didn’t realize how true that was until now. Until he noticed the way the lights above her illuminated her hair and emerald eyes. Until he noticed how beautiful every little dot was on her nose and cheeks. How beautiful she really was.  

On the docking bay Shepard noticed him watching her. She glanced over and held up one delicate finger, that smile trickled her lips and she mouthed ‘One minute.’  He nodded back at her, mandibles lose against his face. That’s when he noticed Joker standing next to him. How long had he been there…

Joker stood fairly straight but you could see caution in his eyes. You sorta had to live your life cautiously with a disease like the one Joker had. Garrus didn’t know much about the pilot, but he respected him and enjoyed exchanging a good joke or two from time to time. Joker looked from Shepard and then back to Garrus. He had a certain look in his eyes, one that made Garrus feel strange. In the awkwardness of the moment Garrus shifted his wait uncomfortably. The smallest smile slipped the corner of Jokers mouth, but he quickly cleared his throat and coughed into his fist.

“Garrus.” Joker let out still holding back his smile, that look still behind his eyes. He turned and walked away joining Liara, Tali and Presley in the elevator down.

Shepard had finally finished her temporary goodbyes and walked straight up to Garrus.

“So, a turian on shore leave… You come here often?” Shepard smiled and nudged him as they waited for their ride down to C-Sec having just missed the last one.

“Oh yeah… I come here often. Good place to blow off steam. Scenery’s not bad either…” Garrus looked at her for a second then nudged over his shoulder to the Normandy slyly. His voice cooed his usual soft hum mandibles flaring playfully.

Why was everything so much easier when she was with Garrus? She felt like she could handle anything if he was with her. No matter how big or small the mission she could do it if he were by her side. Shepard felt the guilt of taking a break in the middle of all this lift, like a weight off her shoulders. Garrus and Shepard spent the afternoon finding new models, talking about guns and trying different foods on the Citadel. They couldn’t share anything but it was nice to just pretend to be normal for a few hours. They deserved this, didn’t they?

The three day weekend came and went faster than they hoped, and before they knew it they only had one more night before it was back to hunting rogue Spectres and saving the galaxy. So naturally, it was time to party, it was a great excuse to celebrate Joker’s birthday.

The crew met at Flux Night club in the Wards for drinks and one last hurrah before they had to see this mission through. Garrus found himself recalling a conversation he’d had with Shepard when they first met-

This mission won’t be easy. There will be casualties. I won’t insult you by pretending you don’t understand what that means.’ He knew what she had meant then, but it had a new meaning for him now. Was this really it… would this be the last break they’d get. Would they all make it after they found Saren? Would Shepard make it?

Of course she would. She’s Shepard.

Garrus stood at the bar with Joker who wore some kind of paper cone on his head, Tali and one of the Alliance crew members he didn’t know… Alan maybe? He found himself glancing at the door every few minutes. Shepard wasn’t there yet, and he wondered what she had been up to. Garrus hadn’t seen her since the night before and found the anticipation of waiting building. He took a drink of his Dextro Heat Sink, a drink he enjoyed for the obvious play on words. Honestly, it didn’t taste that great.

Scanning the room again for her red hair, for her scent. When he felt a touch on the shoulder he smiled. When he turned however, he wasn’t greeted by Shepard but a female turian. He should have known, he couldn’t smell Shepard anywhere. The female in front of him had softer features than his own and she had deep purple markings down her nose and mouth with two small dashes under either eye on her cheekbones. She was very pretty by turian standards.

“Can I buy you another one of those?” The turian asked sweetly pointing to his drink. Her flanging was soft and smooth. Garrus looked at his almost empty glass and back at the turian.

“Sure, but only if I can buy you one first.” Garrus said back. He had always been charming and good with words, he knew this. If this was his last night on the Citadel he may as well have a little fun right? When she smiled he took this as a yes and asked what she was drinking.

Shepard finally had made her way into Flux. She was running late of course after picking up a brand new Spectre requisition sniper riffle for Garrus. She was nervous for some reason; she didn’t usually give gifts, and this was REALLY expensive. But she had more credits than she knew what to do with, and he really needed a new gun. She felt the pounding of the techno echo through her chest and her palms started to sweat.

What the fuck, you’re Commander Shepard. Keep it together

She scanned the room for her crew, but mostly she as looking for Garrus. When she saw him though, she wished she hadn’t.

Several minutes passed and Garrus took another look around the room. He saw Shepard standing near the entrance of the club looking at them. She had no expression. No indication of what she was thinking or feeling. She just stood there, watching the two of them. Shepard hadn’t moved an inch since she entered Flux a few minutes before. She was too far away and there were far too many people in the club to get a proper read from his visor.

In the minutes before he noticed her though, she had been watching them. The way they interacted. They stood close, and she could tell by the lightness of the turians face that she meant business. She couldn’t tell how Garrus was reacting, but a smile from the female let her know he probably meant business too…

He did mention blowing off steam didn’t he…

Lost in thought she hadn’t realize he had seen her gaze. Shepard felt her stomach drop and she immediately felt sick. She threw him a quick smile, not the real one he was used to… Then turned to joined Liara at a table where she sat with Kaidan.

Garrus noticed the smile Shepard had given him as he watched her walk away. He didn’t know where she had gone, but he instantly felt strange. This wasn’t normal. Why would she give him that look? He found himself staring at the spot his Commander stood moments before. That’s when he noticed the female looking up at him expectantly feeling her arm on his elbow.

“So… I’m Nayla… How about that drink?” She asked again sweetly.

How long had been been off in his own mind? How long had be been standing there silently with this stranger… staring at the empty spot Shepard had been. Garrus forced a smile, trying to relax his mandibles he nodded. In a slow turn, he ordered them both another round. Even with a pretty distraction he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Shepard did her best to push the feeling she had in her stomach to the side. She sat with her back to the bar as not to be tempted to watch Garrus and his date. What did she care if he was finding himself a nice lady to shack up with anyway… She didn’t know why, but all of a sudden she really needed to get drunk. Really drunk. Like, ‘I just stopped 10,000 batarian’s from taking over Elysium’ drunk or maybe ‘I have feelings for my uninterested turian squamate’ drunk…

Of course, Kaidan was eager to cater to Shepard and took the absence of Garrus as a sign that he could. Finally Garrus wasn’t with her, so he could have some alone time. Well… Sorta, Liara was with them. Kaidan didn’t mind Liara though, but it was hard not to notice how awkward she was. Having spent most her time alone working on dig sites really did a number on Liara’s social skills. Surprisingly, despite Shepard having indirectly killed her mother, Liara seemed to be just as infatuated with the Commander as everyone else was.

“Can I get you anything to drink, Shepard?” Kaidan asked a little louder, having realized she couldn’t hear his soft voice over the booming of the music and patrons.

“Yes. Whiskey. Double.” She said. “Can you order me a couple?”

“You sure you want to be getting drunk the day before we head back out, Commander?” Kaidan joked standing.

“That’s exactly why I want to be getting drunk. Plus it’s Joker’s birthday… that’s why we’re even here remember? Buy him one while you’re at it.” Shepard smiled as he walked to the bar. “So, Liara. How are you enjoying yourself?” She tried desperately to distract herself from what she had seen. But no matter what she couldn’t stop thinking about it…What had she even seen though? Nothing. Not really.

Garrus was just standing there talking to a girl. As he should be. He is allowed to talk to females of his OWN species. Why do you even care? He deserves a break… to have fun, or be able to ‘blow off steam’ like everyone else. What is it to you?

When she couldn’t think of anything satisfying to tell herself, she decided it was time to suck it up. Shepard was just being protective because they were such good friends. Yeah, that was it…

When Kaidan returned with an armful of drinks for the 3 of them, she saw Joker lift his new drink in a distant cheer. Shepard returned the gesture downing her whiskey. Biting back the alcohol taste that stung her throat and burned her nose, she reached for the second one and knocked it back. Licking her lips she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, setting the empty glass in front of her. Shepard had seen Kaidan and Liara notice her but didn’t react. The two of them exchanged a look and then began drinking as well.

“Do… you want me to get you another one, Shepard?” Kaidan asked when he saw her staring into the empty glasses she had just lined up evenly.

“I got this one. Are you guys ready? I’m buying. I plan on getting Joker very wasted tonight.” The look they sent her indicated they weren’t ready. How could they be? She was the one trying to drink her feelings away, not them.

“Hopefully not too wasted, we do need him functional.” Kaidan laughed taking a sip trying to catch up.

Kaidan just returned no more than 3 minutes before with their drinks. They nodded anyway, what are they gonna deny the Commander the right to buy them all a round? Plus they at least had 10 minutes with the lines that were at the bar. After another minute Shepard turned and walked up to order them another round of drinks. She could already feel the warmth swimming through her belly and tickling her mind. Shepard walked to the opposite end from Garrus when she approached. He hadn’t noticed her yet, thankfully. She ordered another two whiskey doubles, a beer for Kaidan and a honey mead for Liara. She tried buying Joker another but was told to get in line- everyone’s goal was to get the birthday boy wasted. While she waited for their drinks she couldn’t stop herself from watching Garrus interact with the female turian.

She watched him shift his weight effortlessly, running his taloned hand down his fringe and neck in a elegant stretch. He had a confidence about him; one she always admired. Shepard had noticed in the past the looks he’d gotten- she was aware just how attractive he was to most women, no matter the species. She noticed he way the turian leaned into him and the lightness of her mandibles when she spoke. Shepard wondered what Garrus’ face had looked like… Did he look as happy as that female did?

What do you care?

Realizing the bartender has been speaking to her. When she came back to reality she paid the Volus, grabbed their drinks and began retreating.

Garrus could smell her though and turned just as she did- narrowly missing her eyes. He watched her crimson hair bounce away from the bar as she disappear into the bodies of the club goers.

As the night went on, Shepard drank more. It was safe to say that she was very drunk. She was really drunk. Actually, they had lost count of how many drinks she had over the course of the night. That many double whiskeys could even take the great Commander Shepard down. She sat at the table with Liara and Kaidan, the two of them also fairly drunk at this point in attempts to keep up. Kaidan had been non stop flirting with Shepard and given the circumstances she even flirted back. Hell, Liara even tried in her awkward way.

“I would LOVE to have you in a lab to study, Shepard… You are just so incredible… No.. wait… tha-that’s not what I meant to say… I just meant, with all of your Prothean knowledge due to your contact with the beacon, and the cipher- Oh! Just imagine everything we could learn from each other! Oh… oh no… I am just making this worse aren’t I… I must to apologize…” Liara was rambling taking anxious swigs of her mead.

Shepard didn’t mind though, the rambling was rather adorable honestly and proved a great distraction. They talked and laughed about anything they could that didn’t have to do with Saren, the geth or the Reapers. As the night progressed Shepard even considered taking one of them back to her room with her…

But like all night’s this one was coming to an end. Shepard watched as her crew trickled out one by one making their way back to the Normandy. Both Liara and Kaidan still sat drinking with her. She wondered if they both secretly hoped they’d be the one to go home with her that night… Who would she chose?

Tough choice really. One is obsessed with you because of your connection to the Prothean beacon and the other is obsessed with you because you saved them from the Prothean beacon…

Probably best not to go home with either of them now that she thought about it.

It was getting close to 0200 hours when Garrus finally walked up to their table. Shepard noticed him approaching in her peripheral — he was alone. She swallowed down the rest of her drink, biting her lip shifting in her seat. In that moment she realized she really had been drinking a lot.

Garrus placed a warm taloned hand on her shoulder leaning down besides her. She looked sideways at him still holding her empty glass, her leg shaking restlessly. He didn’t say anything, but held his mandibles close to his face staring into her eyes. With her free hand she pulled it to her mouth and began lightly biting her nail; a nervous habit she hadn’t done in years. Shepard felt his sharp blue gaze still looking at her. She felt a warmth from him run through her. Was this the alcohol or Garrus? No one at the table spoke and Garrus noticed her breath quicken and her heartbeat rising on his visor.

“How nice of you to join us, Garrus.” Shepard smiled, it was almost right…

“Shepard…” He purred so softly that the others at the table couldn’t hear him.

Garrus reached his free hand out placing it over hers and the empty glass, holding them both in place. Kaidan and Liara had been watching them, but neither of them said anything. Desperately trying to eavesdrop. With the hand that rest on her shoulder he slid it closer to her face, brushing the side of her pink cheek with his thumb then tucking her hair behind an ear. It was ever so slight, Kaidan or Liara would for sure have missed it if they hadn’t been searching for it. Shepard swallowed and continued looking at the hand still holding hers around the empty glass.

“Come on. Lets get you out of this dump.” Garrus stood, sliding the empty glass from her delicate fingers; setting it on the table amongst the others.

She still sat looking at it. Everything felt light and somehow in slow motion. He reached a hand out in front of her and after a second she took it. Kaidan and Liara watched not saying a word as they turned and walked out of club. Once out of Flux Shepard remembered the female and spoke before she could stop herself.

“So… Mr. Vakarian…You seemed to be enjoying the ‘scenery’ inside. What happened to your new friend?”

“Spirits. Is that jealousy I hear, Commander Shepard?” Garrus joked looking at her.

“In your dreams, big guy.” She said back giggling and swaying with each step.

With each drunken step she felt herself forgetting about the girl he had been talking to. She was forgetting that this may be her last time on the Citadel. Oddly, all she could think about was how damn bright the Citadel was. Garrus had always rambled on about how it was never dark in there… But there was something about being in fluorescents that late when you were this hammered that made every task just so much harder.

Shepard tried walking upright, she really did. But every so often she would lose her balance and trip. They couldn’t help but laugh. Garrus had been drinking pretty heavily as well that night, but no where near the amount she had been. When her ‘feet stopped working’ Shepard fell down a small flight of stairs. How someone could be so graceful on the battlefield but so clumsy in the real world was beyond Garrus. She sat there at the bottom in a hysterical fit of laugher. Garrus was reminded again of just how beautiful she was, and seeing her there sobered him up just a bit. If she hadn’t been hurt Garrus would have been laughing with her honestly. It was pretty funny how she acted when she had been drinking. He had seen it a few times before on the Normandy, but she had never been THIS drunk.

He knelt down slipping a long arm under her, pulling her close to him. She stood with one arm around his neck, his right arm holding her tightly around the chest at her ribcage. The way his hand felt there… She couldn’t think about that now. They walked slowly side by side, as she limped in unison with his strides; making sure not to put pressure on her hurt ankle. It honestly didn’t even hurt her hardly- a mild sprain at best, but she was having fun pretending that it did.

Their walk was long and peaceful and Garrus could smell her skin. By the time they stood outside the Normandy on the docking bay he had been engulfed in her. It was more intoxicating than anything he drank that night. Her scent was better than anything he had ever smelled. Shepard’s skin was softer than anything he had touched. Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself close to her neck, taking a deep breath of lavender into his lungs. His mouth and nose lowered closer to her neck almost touching her with them. Garrus released his breath besides her ear, running his nose through her hair, tracing her hairline; she felt a wave run through her.

Shepard pushed into him more, turning to face him. She had an urgency about the way she leaned her head into his his cowl, closer to his face. Garrus could feel her shudder in his arms. Taking her free hand she placed it on his neck holding herself close to his mouth letting out a soft sigh. He reached down sliding his hand up her back, pulling her into him. His fingers braided through her hair. She let out a quiet gasp at his touch and he leaned into her neck pulling her even closer. Their faces were almost touching, breath hot and fast.

“Garrus…” Shepard said breathlessly as he felt something primal shift in him.

The way she had said his name made him burn for her, letting a small growl escape his lips. He had lost his composure. As if a switch was flipped they both were sent into a frenzy. She lifted a leg and was met with his hand pulling it onto his hip- pulling her onto him.

Simultaneously he lightly pulled her hair revealing her neck to him as he turned pushing her into the wall. Sliding his taloned hand from her knee to her thigh he helped her other leg wrap around him. Leaning his face into her neck, kissing it, running a blue tongue across it tasting her. Shepard let out a airy moan at his touch. The way he touched her with determination and strength was different than anything she had experienced. His lips were harder than a humans, but they felt amazing trailing her collarbone and shoulders. Garrus didn’t know where his behavior came from, he was just reacting to her. It was instinctual. He somehow just knew how to touch her.

Garrus grabbed her hand sliding it up the wall holding it in place as he moved his face to hers again. They looked at each other for a moment and then she kissed him hard. She never imagined that feeling him like this would feel so right, but it did. With each embrace she could feel the growling in his chest growing, his desire and control slipping. She ached for him.

Shepard lightly caressed his tongue with her own, tasting him. Garrus slid a hand down her arm, down the side of her body ending at her hips. He pulled her into him more as they continued frantically kissing and pushing into each other as if they could never be close enough.

As fast as it started it was over. They heard the elevator arriving and quickly realized where they were. They had been on the docking bay outside of the Normandy almost… almost… could they even? This can’t be normal… He lightly slid her down to the ground careful not to release her completely. Garrus couldn’t bare not feeling her after that. Everything was going to be different now… He felt it.  

“Well, look at you two being creepy and stuff in a dark corner.” Joker let out walking past them with Tali towards the airlock. Tali had been mumbling at a volume they couldn’t understand, clearly she also had a bit too much to drink. Joker looked back at the two standing there in silence. “You guys coming or what?”

Helping Shepard over to the Normandy and when Joker noticed her foot he signed. “Really, Commander? You can’t go a few days without getting yourself hurt?”

“You sure you wanna mess with me? You’re basically made of glass, Joker. I could probably break your bones just by looking at you.” Shepard laughed as the decontamination process started.

Shepard was trying hard not to think about what had just happened. She looked up at Garrus shyly, her eyes were soft and heavy. He smiled down at her holding her tightly enjoying her warmth.

“Wow, you really are drunk aren’t you, Commander?” Joker asked when he saw how hard it was for her to walk straight even with Garrus leading her. “Here I was thinking the mighty Commander Shepard was unstoppable, a god among men— and women… Only to be taken out by a few drinks and a flight of stairs.”

The look she gave him let him know he was done and he put his arms up defensively.

“Alright, alright, I’m going. Sleep tight you two.” Joker said giving Garrus that same look from a few days ago. With a lazy salute he retreated to the cockpit.

Upon entering the doctor took one look at the Commander and Garrus and crossed her arms. The look she gave them was like they were a couple of kids that had just been caught sneaking out. Shepard covered her mouth and attempted to stand up straight. She was holding back a laugh. Shepard knew how obvious it had been that they were wasted but she didn’t want to show it if possible. Somehow though she only seemed to make herself look more guilty.

Shepard let out a long sigh shaking her head. “Doesn’t anyone sleep on this damn ship?”

“You. Med bay. Now, Commander.” Chakwas said with a small smile pointing to the stairs. “Garrus, I’ll need you to accompany us if you would.” Chakwas lead them down the stairs into the Normandy’s Med Bay.

He carefully sat her down on one of the beds. Shepard tucked a hair behind her ear, flinching when the doctor rotated her ankle checking the damage. A minor sprain like they suspected, nothing serious but she’d need to be careful on it for a couple days. FTL was fast, but she should have the time she needed.

“See? I told you. Not that bad. I just missed a few stairs, honestly I’ve had much worse. Remember that time I fell off a 2 story building?” Shepard reached an arm out placing it on Chakwas’ shoulder giving it a light shake.

She had her ankle wrapped for some extra support and Chakwas left Garrus in charge of escorting the Commander back to her quarters. As they approached the door it slid open allowing them to walk in. He walked her over to the bed where she laid down. Seeing her laying reminded him of that time back on Therum. Her hair spread around her like wildfire. She gave him a big pure smile reaching her arm out for him to take. Garrus stood there a moment looking down at his Commanding officer wondering if this was a good idea… Should he be there? They both had been drinking and Shepard seemed really vulnerable.

“Shepard… I…” He stated as he ran a hand over his fringe and down her neck the way she loved.

Shepard sat up at looked up at him. She grabbed a taloned hand in hers pulling him down to her level. Garrus kneeled in front of her looking at his feet. She moved her arm up slowly resting it on the side of his face softly.

“Hey. It’s okay. We don’t…” She stopped, biting her lip. The room was spinning slightly around him.

“I…  don’t want you to think you have to do this. I may be your Commanding Officer but I’m not gonna make you sleep with me.” Shepard let out a laugh removing her hand anxiously. “I’ve been drinking, you’ve been drinking… it’s been a long couple months…” She set her hands in her lap.

“It’s not that, Shepard. I just don’t know if this is the time for… whatever this is.” His voice was soft but his words still stung her and she felt an ache in her chest.

She looked down at her hands laying there limply in her lap. She began to wonder if she had gone too far. In a drunken stupor did she ruin her only true friendship? She never should have drank so much… She never should have kissed him. He probably didn’t even feel the same way about her… And was only reacting the way any man would in that situation. Shepard knew this was a bad idea, knew the possibilities… but that didn’t stop the way she was feeling about him. The way she had been feeling about him.

“I understand. You’re right.” Shepard said clearing her throat. “I don’t know what I was thinking… I’m sorry, Garrus.” She began to feel a little embarrassed and for a moment she wished none of this had happened.

“Jane… That’s not what I meant.” Reaching out a long taloned hand he pulled her chin to face him again.

Leaning closer to her, there was only a few inches between them now. He could see how fast her heart had been beating on his visor, how her body heat was rising. This had been one of the only times he had called her by her first name. She was surprised and in that moment she sobered up a bit. There was something jarring about hearing him purr her name like that. It scared her. It excited her.

He leaned forward resting his forehead against hers.

“Shepard. I… we can’t do this.” Garrus’ voice was soft.

“Why not?” Shep asked lightly closing her eyes.

“It’s just not the time, Shepard…”

She knew he was right. Getting involved further would complicate things. She could hardly believe she wanted him so badly. Being the person to always put duty first, and feelings second. But now, she wanted to say to hell with the rules. They had acted on their impulses and she couldn’t help but think that they already had taken things too far. She knew he was right though. If they did this they couldn’t go back. They already were dangerously close to the point of no return.

She nodded and leaning into him. They sat on the floor of her cabin propped against her bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. The silence surrounded them and for the first time in months she fell asleep with ease. For the first time in months she didn’t dream of the beacon.

Ps IM A NOOB SORRY IF AM BAD I TRY ;.; I’m used to writing editorial stuff so this was a fun challenge.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #130 - Veronica Mars

Spoilers below (for the TV show too).

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #283.

Format: Blu-ray

This post is dedicated to @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer, the best Marshmallow I know.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

1) Veronica Mars - this film - exists because of a Kickstarter campaign that went live on March 13, 2013. The series ran for three seasons before being cancelled but gained an incredible cult following. Series creator Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, and the rest of the cast had been hopeful about a movie being made for years before turning to Kickstarter. Their goal was 2 million dollars, they got that in less than 24 hours (breaking most of Kickstarter’s records at the time). They ended up with five million total dollars by the end of their campaign (which was broke the REST of Kickstarter’s records at the time). This movie is made by the fans, for the fans basically, and that’s awesome.

2) I first started watching “Veronica Mars” on Netflix DVDs AFTER the Kickstarter had come and gone, meaning I did not have to wait the seven years many fans did for a resolution to the series’ cliffhanger ending. I fell in love with the show instantly. I binged it as quickly as I could with Netflix DVDs (ie: not very quickly but passionately) and love almost every twist and turn. It is an excellent show and my love for it definitely in part fuels my love for the film.

3) The opening, “I need your help Veronica,” montage is a great way of starting off the film. For fans of the original series it reminds us of everything we’ve been missing for a while, and for people who have never seen a single episode it gives them enough info to understand the movie and its characters. And it has this wink to the fans of the show:

Veronica: “New me? People say I’m a Marshmallow.”

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

For all you newbies, fans of “Veronica Mars” refer to themselves as Marshmallows because of this line from the pilot. It was either that or “twinkies” and you can spell “Marshmallows” without “Mars”.

4) Kristen Bell as Veronica Mars.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

It’s difficult for me to talk about Veronica as a character because most of my understanding of her as a character comes from both the film AND the TV Show. A lot of what I have to say is really going to be echoes of what @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer has said in her fantastic recaps for the series. Veronica is strong willed, fiercely loyal, but she’s got some blinders on. If she decides you’re guilty or innocent, it is fact. That is just the way it is and she will not recognize the notion otherwise. But see, that does not come into effect in as huge a way in the film as it has in the show in the past.

Veronica is incredibly sharp. I will speak later on how physical strength is not one of her greatest attributes, but she more than makes up with it in wit and the ability to think on her feet. Tough as nails, with an incredible sense of humor (which in and of itself is probably a defense mechanism of some sort), Veronica is amazing. And Veronica would not be the Veronica we know and love if it were not for the truly perfect Kristen Bell.

There are some character who are just defined as much by the actors who play them as the writers who craft them. Veronica Mars is one of those characters. Kristen Bell inhabits all of Veronica’s qualities perfectly. Her contradictions, her strengths, her weakness, her love, her aggression, her need for intimacy with some people, her ability to be independent with others. Honestly in the same sense that Sarah Michelle Gellar IS Buffy or that Robert Downey Jr. IS Iron Man, Kristen Bell IS Veronica Mars and no other actress could ever play her with the same perfection as Bell.

5) Jamie Lee Curtis.

Understand that even though this film made more than twice what it was asking for in the Kickstarter campaign, five million bucks to make a movie these days is close to nothing. Comparatively speaking at least (although recent best picture winner Moonlight only cost 1.5 million so…). Most of the famous faces in this film - the small bits here and there like Jamie Lee Curtis in the very beginning - have some sort of working relationship with those involved in the movie (usually the actors). For example: Curtis worked with Bell in 2010′s You Again. I’m sure this most be some sort of favor to her.

6) This flip off is very Veronica. You can tell a lot about her way of handling jackasses and her sense of humor from this moment.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes


Gayle: Fifteen separate articles or briefs in cases ranging from multiple homicides to dognapping.

The season one episode “Hot Dogs” involves Veronica helping what was one of the kindest and most sincerely uncorrupted characters on the show (Mandy) help find her missing dog which she loved so much. I like to tell myself that is Veronica thinking fondly on this case which means little to others (especially when compared to multiple homicides) but one where she helped this really kind girl with something that really mattered to her.

8) Let’s talk briefly about the film’s “sex tape” references. Towards the end of season 3 a “sex tape” was released of Veronica and her then-boyfriend (and current boyfriend, at the start of this film) Piz. Except Veronica said she and Piz were just fooling around and didn’t actually have sex. We see the sex tape very clearly later on in the film, that has clearly been retconned. Painfully, too, as Piz is not exactly the most loved of Veronica’s boyfriends.

9) On that note…Piz.

I cannot get into the intense dislike people have for Piz without getting into how he was written and portrayed in the final season of the TV show (which was the season he was introduced in). In a nutshell, Piz was the Nice Guy™. As in the character who in reality isn’t really a nice guy, but is sort of a privileged manipulative white dude bro who thinks he deserves to be with a woman he basically sees as the female lead in his own personal romantic comedy. But the writers still write him as the “nice guy”. The movie does not have as much of that Nice Guy™ vibe to Piz though. It’s definitely still there though. He tells Veronica that he oversold her to his parents. That, “They cannot believe I landed a creature such as the one I’ve described.” But mostly Piz is kinda sorta not an awful dude. He seems to have some genuine feelings for Veronica but you can tell Veronica is with him just because he’s the safe choice. Because this is the clean life she wants. And that’s never who she was and so Piz isn’t dating the REAL Veronica. Piz is not interested in the REAL Veronica just the kind of girl he expects her to be and wants her to be. Even if he’s not a total dick about it in the film, that’s still what their relationship is.

HOWEVER I will say even though I may have issues with Piz as a character I do truly enjoy Chris Lowell as an actor. My distaste for how Piz has been written in the past is not a reflection on his performance.

10) Veronica talks about how Bonnie DeVille used to be known as Carrie Bishop. Carrie Bishop was featured in a few season one episodes of the show played by “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester. Meester had scheduling conflicts with the show so they recast her part.

11) Never ever think too hard about the timeline or continuity in the Veronica Mars universe. Like…Logan is supposed to be a different age than her but they were still in the same graduating class or his dead girlfriend was a different age because she went to school with her brother who was…just, it’s confusing to think about it too hard. Just know that this film - while released in 2014 - takes place in 2016. Because the characters graduated high school in 2006 and their ten year reunion is featured in the film.

12) The theme of addiction is heavily featured throughout the movie, mainly throughout Veronica’s internal monologue. She constantly mentions her alcoholic mother while comparing her return to Neptune and the world of a PI to that idea. Not to mention Veronica described her past self as a, “possible adrenaline junkie,” within the first five minutes of the film. It’s a neat idea that gives the film a unique arc and helps it feel more than an extended episode.

13) Logan Echolls, ladies and gentlemen.

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

With most of (if not all of) these characters, it is difficult for me to talk about them ONLY as they are presented in the film. Logan is someone who throughout the TV show had a very troubled life. His father beat him, his mother committed suicide, his girlfriend was murdered, the murderer turned out to be his father, he had been manipulated by many people he considered family, but he was good to Veronica (for the most part) when they started dating. He cared for her, truly. There was an honesty to their relationship, an ability to be himself, which he lost when she left. I think the second Veronica Mars book Mr. Kiss & Tell goes into this more (I read it two years ago), but Logan needed to get his life together post-Veronica. So he joined the freaking Navy. That first image of Logan already sets him up as a clean cut, mostly kept together man that is FAR different from the, “obligatory psychotic jackass,” we met in the pilot of the show.

Much like Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring gives Logan a lot of depth. The reason the character was given such a prominent role and more layers - initially - was because of Dohring’s skill as an actor. He is able to present Logan as mostly collected but still vulnerable. Still with a deep sorrow in his soul, still with a darkness to him. But we as an audience are invested in him as a character. We understand Veronica’s trust for him because we see just who he is around Veronica. The chemistry between Dohring and Bell is incredible. It is not just hot steamy chemistry (although it can be, more on that later). It’s a trust, it’s friendship, it’s an ability for these two to truly be themselves around each other in a way they can’t be with pretty much everyone else.

It is a truly wonderful performance and character we get to see in the film and I think the entire franchise of Veronica Mars would be far less without Jason Dohring and Logan Echolls.

14) It is fun how to see how easily Veronica slips into her old routine at her dad’s office. Also it goes into the idea of how an addict is more easy to fall into their addiction when they get into a certain habit. Veronica was addicted to being a PI when she was in Neptune, working with Logan, and helping at her dad’s office. Is it any wonder she can’t fight off the need to go back to that life when she’s in the town for less than a day and all these things have happened already?

15) Keith’s face when he sees Veronica!

We don’t get AS good a look as Keith’s relationship with daughter Veronica in the film as we did in the TV show (we got three seasons to examine it, after all), but it is still one of the best parent/child relationships to ever grace screens and the chemistry between Enrico Colantoni and Kristen Bell is great.

16) Although the film only had a budget from Kickstarter of about five million dollars, Warner Brothers studio was comfortable enough with the film that they paid an extra million (I think it was a million) for some reshoots to help make the story more understandable. The most noteworthy of these reshoots is the scene where Keith and Veronica are driving through town and discover a bunch of kids being framed up by the police, tazzed, basically abused for being “riff raff” and Keith being able to extort the police into letting the kids go by taking a video of them abusing their power. This was all told to the audience in the original shoot at the office scene, but the use of “show don’t tell” not only paints a grim picture of what kind off corrupt place Neptune is but also what kind of man Keith is. He really is - as his daughter says - the George Bailey of Neptune.

17) Mac & Wallace!

Again, if you like what you see of these two in the movie and want more…GO WATCH THE TV SHOW! The friendship Veronica forges with Wallace is one of the strongest in her life, second only to her father and even ahead of her relationship with Logan I think. He is there through it all. Through all the boyfriends, all the drama, all the times she’s a pariah, he is there for her. He helps her out, he does favors with her, and it is just such a beautiful and loving friendship.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

The relationship Veronica has with Mac - while not necessarily as strong - is still great. Tina Majorino breathed such life into this character from season 1 who could’ve easily been a one off but ended up being second only to Wallace when it came to Veronica’s friends. The trio of them are great, and they’ve always got each other’s backs.

18) Dick Casablancas.

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

Otherwise known as: your problematic fave! Man, I don’t even know where to start with Dick. He’s…well…he’s a dick! But like a likable dick! Somehow Rob Thomas gets away with Dick doing some really awful shit in the show and still have him be Logan’s best friend. Dick in this film is - I think - mostly comedic relief (and, at one point, a suspect) and Hansen is just a lot of fun in the role.

A little note about Dick though. This line has way more significance than you would think:

Dick [after Logan’s potential lawyer makes a remark about his pot brownies]: “Medicine, man. I got my card. Chronic depression. You wouldn’t think, huh?”

That’s actually very telling about Dick. Season two ended with his younger brother being revealed as a mass murderer before killing himself, and there was some fair amount of time devoted in early season three to examining how Dick dealt with this.

19) This scene alone shows a lot of fun back and forth between Veronica, Logan, and the idiots of Neptune.

Logan [after these two Canadian drunks call a girl a crazy bitch at karaoke night]:

(GIFs originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

20) Again with the theme of addiction:

Veronica [internal monologue]: “You know what? It’s a one time deal. A farewell tour, if you will. [Sees hot as fuck Logan] Then again, you ever hear the one about the junkie who was satisfied with just one more taste of the good stuff?”

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

Veronica: “Neither have I.”

21) Chekov’s random trucker hat line…

Veronica [about being able to hide cameras in anything]: “My dad has a trucker hat that’s rigged with a camera -”

22) There’s this rule Pixar has with writing: a coincidence that gets the character into trouble is plot. A coincidence that gets them out of trouble is cheating. The fact that Veronica is able to get into someone’s house by saying she’s doing a location scout for a Clint Eastwood movie only for that person to have a connection to Clint Eastwood falls into the former of those two categories.

23) This film THRIVES on fan service which also serves the plot. For example, Veronica - like she did all the way back in season one - calls Wallace for a favor.

Veronica: “Hey Buddy! I need a favor. Can you get me a student’s permanent file?”

Wallace: “You do realize that I’m a teacher now, Veronica? An educator? This is a position of responsibility.”

Veronica: “So you’re saying it’s gonna be super easy. Good. I did NOT want to put you out.”

The theater I saw this in - with quite a few Marshmallows - all found this scene hysterical.

24) The inclusion of Deputy Sacks is a nice way of bringing in even what some would call the smaller characters into the film. AND it ends up working out really well.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

25) Jerry O’Connell as Sheriff Dan Lamb.

The perfect personification of slime and corruption in Neptune. Lamb’s brother Don Lamb was the incompetent (and assholish prick of a) sheriff throughout most of the show, and somehow they made his brother even worse. At least Don Lamb would OCCASIONALLY do his job if presented with enough compelling evidence. Meanwhile Dan is even more egotistical, even says at one point he doesn’t care if Logan is innocent or not, and later in all likelihood tries to have Keith killed. Jerry O’Connell plays Lamb as wonderfully vile. A villain you love to hat.

26) I love that this film brings in so many memorable characters from the TV show, even though some are limited to one scene. But that one scene is enough for us to remember why we love them. This is very true for Daran Norris as Cliff McCormack, Neptune’s resident public appointed attorney.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

27) It is interesting seeing how these characters have grown in the seven years since the TV show ended. For example, Veronica is able to show off QUITE clearly that she spent a considerable amount of time at law school when she’s defending herself at the police station.

28) The whole scene at the 09er is very entertaining, if for no other reason than a trio of fun cameos we get. We see exactly the stupidity of the “cool kids” at Neptune, we get the series’ first use of the word, “fuck,” AND we get Veronica’s trademark sass. Also we get this nice moment between husband & wife:

29) But the 09er scene is NOTHING compared to the reunion at Neptune High.

Originally posted by lovelykristenbell

The entire graduation scene perfectly shows off the film’s ability to balance out fan service AND move the plot forward. It brings back almost all the memorable characters from the TV show, friends and enemies a like. And for you who haven’t seen the show, we get a very clear picture of just how much Veronica “enjoyed” high school.

Veronica: “In a lesser known epic poem, ‘Dante’s Inferno 2: Hell Freezes Over,’ ten years after escaping the nine circles, Dante returns. You know, for old times’ sake. Have a couple shots, catch up with the gang…”

Madison [as Veronica approaches]: “Name?”

Veronica: “See if Lucifer’s still a bitch.”

We get a see of characters in this scene.

  • Madison Sinclair is still an entitled, judgmental, condescending asshole.

Originally posted by singfromthehair

  • Gia Goodman (played by the incredible Krysten Ritter of “Jessica Jones” fame) is REMARKABLY different from the last time we saw her. Back then she was a chipper, positive (if a little naive) young woman. Then Veronica exposed her dad as a pedophile to the world, he was killed by Dick’s brother in a plane explosion, and some really awful psychotic shit went down where she is basically owned by a man named Cobb (Martin Starr). Gia is likely the most changed character since the TV show and Ritter’s amazing range supports that.
  • Eli ‘Weevil’ Navarro has gotten his life together, which is an incredible thing to see from the former member of a bike gang. He has a daughter, he has a wife, he is reformed! But of course Neptune is gonna tear him back down.

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

  • We even get a chance to see Horny, the recurring comic relief and nice dude from the show, in a little moment which I as a fan appreciate.

Edit: I have had it pointed out to me that the character’s name is Corny, not Horny is I’ve thought for four years. You can find the reply in notes, but I’m going to leave the name as I originally thought so you all know my shame.

30) The high school reunion also serves as a turning point for the story. Veronica realizes that Carrie’s death is tied to the death of her friend Susan Knight YEARS ago on Carrie’s father’s boat. And now her investigation has some more direction.

31) When you watch the works of Rob Thomas (the writer, not the singer) you find he is wonderfully aware of his famous name-twin.

Piz [about talking about some 2006 music]: “Maybe some SOLO Rob Thomas.”

That’s nothing compared to what we got on “iZombie” though.

32) I love this.

(GIFs originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

33) A great peek at how Veronica is not as alone as she may think is after Madison (asshole) shows Veronica’s sex tape at the family reunion. For one thing Wallace is immediately at Veronica’s side, running to turn it off. Then Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Dick, and Piz (at least. Maybe Horny too, I’m not sure.) all jump into a fight with the assholes who want to put the tape back on. A great recall from this line:

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

34) Principal Clemmons is another example of a great supporting character from the show making a brief but appreciate appearance in the film.

35) Veronica at the reunion’s after-party is very much her being in her natural environment. The scene where she’s dancing and it cuts to slow mo is very predatory to me. She is a lion ready to pounce on its prey. This is her in her element and its great to watch.

36) Martin Starr as Cobb is a…unique new character in the film. He was not in the show at all and now he’s part of the group of established characters. In hindsight it’s obvious that he’s the evil mastermind of it all (spoiler alert).

37) Veronica impersonating Martina Vasquez to get info out of Lamb is as nice callback to the series while also showing new viewers just how crafty she can be.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

38) Leo!!!!

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

Leo was like the best boyfriend Veronica had on the show who wasn’t Logan, an actual nice guy and not Nice Guy™. Max Greenfield has gotten a lot more recognition lately for his memorable turn as Schmidt on “New Girl” but he’s GREAT on the show and in this film. He only has one scene but it’s a bit bigger than say Cliff’s scene or Clemmons’ scene, and him screwing with Veronica by pretending to not remember her is a lot of fun.


Leo: “By the way, I didn’t know the FBI was looking into the Bonnie DeVille case.”

Veronica: “I’m not with the FBI.”

Leo: “You sure? I could’ve SWORN I heard somewhere that you were in the FBI.”

Veronica: “Another life maybe.”

Rob Thomas pitched a drastically altered version of the show which would have seen Veronica join the FBI in season 4. I’m kinda glad it didn’t work it, but they shot this pitch:

40) So James Franco is in this movie.

Rob Thomas said in an interview:

“My producing partner, Danielle Stokdyk, her husband is an Academy Award-winning visual effects artist who happened to have just done ‘Oz the Great and Powerful.’ He had become friendly with James, and it really was easy as this: I emailed a script and said we’d love you for this part and honestly five minutes later, five minutes later, he emailed me back and said, 'sounds fun, I’m in.’”

41) Add Vinnie Van Lowe to the list of fun appearances from the show!

Originally posted by nickmillerturtleface

42) According to IMDb:

In one of the shots, a man dressed like a gorilla was needed to dance in the foreground while Kristen Bell and Ken Marino played a scene on a bench. Ryan Hansen had just wrapped his last scene in the film a few hours earlier and was hanging out on set and agreed to do the scene. Rob Thomas and Ryan then decided to prank Kristen and Ken, who didn’t know it was Ryan in the gorilla suit. The stint made the DVD bloopers reel.

43) Veronica cannot say, “I know what happened,” without me thinking of this:

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

44) Chekov’s random trucker hat line.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

45) This line that Deputy Sacks has is very telling about who he is as a character, his conflict, and what is up in Neptune.

Sacks: “I saw this thing on, uh, YouTube a few weeks ago, Keith. It’s a funny video. A…uh…two nazi they’re uh…looking at the skulls on their insignias and the piles of dead bodies. And they have this moment of clarity. Wait a minute…we’re the bad guys.”

46) Deputy Sacks’ death is a surprisingly powerful moment. This is a character who has been around since the pilot in 2004. Someone who was always there and who Veronica or anyone else never got super close to. But he was always there, always a good cop, and the sorrow of his loss is seen in one simple unanswered question:

Doctor: “Was he a friend of yours?”

47) The following LoVe love scene (LoVe is the ship name for Logan + Veronica) really shows off how these two not only have a chemistry built on being able to be themselves, but also the fact they’re each INCREDIBLY attracted to each other and just have this raw sexy passion. There is a tenderness, a connection, a heat to them that is just unmatched by any of her other boyfriends.

48) Remember how Veronica is sort of an addict?

Veronica: “The only way I’m not going to spend the day obsessing about my dad is by nailing Gia and Luke to the wall.”

49) One of Veronica’s most defining character traits is that when she decides a person is guilty, they are guilty. And it takes a lot for her to alter her theory or her idea of what is going on. This is seen when she is watching Gia and Cobb hook up, and she comments…

Veronica: “Gia seduced her lap dog into killing Carrie.”

There is NOTHING about that scene that shows Gia initiating sex with Cobb, it’s totally Cobb doing it. But Veronica can’t see that, she only sees what supports her theory. And then there’s this line that shows what she thinks of Gia.

Veronica [after Logan warns her to be careful]: “Child please, it’s Gia Goodman. The day I can’t handle Gia Goodman…”

This is very much a line that would be applied to high school Gia, not this new Gia. Veronica has little to no idea who this new Gia is.

50) The following scene between Veronica and Gia is a great character moment for Gia. Krysten Ritter’s skills as an actor show us just how tortured and trapped this once kindhearted and positive girl was, and it’s heartbreaking.

Originally posted by shes-a-maarshmallow

51) The entire climax (where Cobb has Veronica trapped in Gia’s apartment building) is very tense. Cobb has the upper hand physically and Veronica knows that. She has to play this confrontation by hiding, being patient, and outsmarting Cobb. And she does! It is wonderfully paced and choreographed and just a great moment of tension.

52) My biggest criticism of this film is that I’m always surprised by how quickly it wraps up, but it’s also something I’ve gotten more comfortable with in repeat viewings.

53) The metaphor of Veronica as an addict has never been clearer than her last lines of the film (an internal monologue).

Veronica: “My name is Veronica, and I’m an addict. Hello Veronica.”

54) Logan often had inspirational messages on his voice mail in the show. This message which plays over the end credits is very nice.

Logan: “This is Logan reminding you: if you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask which seat, just get on. Sheryl Sandberg said that. So don’t leave a message. Go get on that rocket ship. Or, leave a message. Your call. Your decision will tell me a lot about you.”

That - to me - seems very telling about the film. They took a chance on asking fans to finance it and it turned out wonderfully! They got on their rocket.

This recap ended up being much longer than I intended. And there’s still a lot here I can talk about which I haven’t. And that is very telling of the film. There is a lot to dissect, a lot that works and is going on in the movie. The writing is incredible, with a good balance of fan service and plot. The acting is as good as it ever was on the show, Rob Thomas’ direction is great, and it is just what fans who were waiting seven years for closure deserved. A great, great film and a fantastic potential finale to the series.

Tim, Curly and Angela Shepard + Shepard Gang Information

Information taken about the Shepard’s family and the Shepard’s gang, from ‘That Was Then, This Is Now’ and 'The Outsiders’ - Both by S E Hinton. (Includes quotes and facts from the books)

- The Shepard’s gang liked to hang out at “the alleys down by the tracks”

- A whistle that sounds “long and low, ending in a high note” is used by the Shepard gang for 'who’s there?’

- Regarding Tim and Curly’s punishments with the law; “they’ve had about everything done to them. And they can’t take anything away from them because they don’t have anything in the first place. So they cut their hair.”

- “Some of us never cry at all. Like Dally and Two-bit and Tim Shepard - they forgot how at an early age.”

- When Tim slept over at the Curtis’ household; “reading the newspaper in the armchair. He merely looked up, said "Hi,” and strolled out without staying for breakfast.“

- "It’s too bad you and Dally can’t be in it. It’s the first big rumble we’ve had - not countin’ the time we whipped Shepard’s outfit.”

- Tim came by the hospital to see Dally

- “Tim and Dally had always been buddies.”

- Dallas explains why Tim came by; “Said he saw my picture in the paper and couldn’t believe it didn’t have 'Wanted Dead or Alive’ written under it. He mostly came to rub it in about the rumble.”

- “Only last week Tim Shepard had cracked three of Dally’s ribs. But Dally and Tim Shepard had always been buddies; no matter how they fought, they were two of a kind, and they knew it.”

- “Curly, who was tough, cool, hard-as-nails Tim in miniature, and I had once played chicken by holding our cigarette ends against each other’s fingers. We had stood there, clenching our teeth and grimacing, with sweat pouring down our faces and the smell of burning flesh making us sick, each refusing to holler, until Tim happened to stroll by. When he saw that we were really burning holes in each other he cracked our heads together, swearing to kill us both if we ever pulled a stunt like that again.”

- “Curly was an average downtown hood, tough and not real bright” 'he could take anything.“

- Curly was often in the reformatory

- "Tim was a lean, catlike eighteen-year-old who looked like the model JD you see in movies and magazines. He had the right curly black hair, smoldering dark eyes, and a long scar from temple to chin where a tramp had belted him with a broken pop bottle. He had a tough hard look to him, and his nose had been broken twice. Like Dally’s his smile was grim and bitter. He was one of those who enjoy being a hood. The rest of his bunch were the same way.” “Young hoods - who would grow up to be old hoods.” “they’d just get worse as they got older, not better.”

- “Tim had a tense, hungry look of an alley cat - that’s what he reminded me of, an alley cat - and he was constantly restless.”

- Tim gave out strict discipline as a gang leader, his gang was used to it

- Pony said that the difference between his gang and the Shepard’s was that they had a leader and were organized.

- Tim congratulated Pony on killing Bob

- “'Curly’s in the reformatory for the next six months.’ Tim grinned ruefully, probably thinking of his roughneck, hard-headed brother. "He got caught breaking into a liquor store, that little…” He went on to call Curly every unprintable name under the sun - in Tim’s way of thinking, terms of affection.“

- Tim is three years older than Curly

- Most greasers don’t have tuff builds, usually they’re "lean and panther-looking in a slouchy way.”

- “Shepard’s gang were used to fighting with anything they could get their hands on - bicycle chains, blades, pop bottles, pieces of pipe, pool sticks, or even sometimes heaters. I mean guns.”

- Referring to eye colour; “maybe dark-blue, like the Shepard boys’.”

- “holding the bottle the way Tim Shepard holds a switch - out and away from myself, in a loose but firm hold.”

- “Curly was a little dumb - he belonged to a gang led by his brother Tim”

- “Tim was alright - at least he had a few brains - but I considered Curly a dumb hood.”

- Angela Shepard is Tim and Curly’s sister

- “At Angela’s house her mother and her stepfather were always fighting and screaming and throwing things, and sometimes her brothers Tim and Curly would get in on it, and I’d sort of duck flying objects until Angela came out of her room, cussing and throwing things along with the rest of them.”

- Angela was beautiful with long hair and later even beautiful with short hair. The thing that made people turn away was her personality, she may have been a girl but she was a Shepard for sure. Angela was tough and could be very mean.

- Referring to Tim; “He scared me. He was what I would call a rough guy. Curly was mostly mouth, but Tim backed up anything he said. He really was a hood.” “Tim really was.” (not like kids on the east side who were called hoods just 'cause they lived there)

- “Curly was keeping his mouth shut - even he was awed by his big brother. There was something about Tim Shepard - his scarred face, his fighter’s slouch, the flickering of his black eyes - that really let you know he meant business.”

Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!

no-good-hoodies said:Hello! I love your guys blog, I’ve been following since day one! I looked through the master list and there isn’t very much for just Tim, so I thought I’d make this request. Kat, could you write what a jealous Tim Shepard would be like if someone where hitting on his girl?

A/N: Heya love! Thanks so much for your compliments, we truly appreciate it! We’re glad to see and know that you still support us. I’m aware that there’s not much of Tim, and I’m so glad that you requested something for him because he’s beast and I love his character a lot! This was really fun to write out and I truly did enjoy it! Thanks so much! - Admin Kat 💟

Jealous Tim Shepard Would Include:

- Know for certain that Tim Shepard isn’t very ‘cute’ when he’s jealous. He’s a force to be reckoned with and a reckoned force he is to be with. You should never take pleasure in making him jealous, unless you’re tough enough to handle what is to come afterwards.

- He’d for certain be the type in which to pick fights with offending boys or men that even bother to talk to you.

- It takes quite a lot to make Tim jealous - unless he’s serious about you in his own form and fashion -. This is because Tim doesn’t really love people (just like Dallas Winston), he can be fond of people but will hardly show it.

- He’ll definitely be a brute force, even though he’s described as an alley cat. He’s strong and will fight to let everyone know that you’re his.

- He’d be the type to pull you into his lap, to kiss your neck as you converse with the other guy, wrap his arm around your shoulders/waist, make out with you or initiate any other form of PDA. Tim Shepard isn’t going to be innocent and he definitely isn’t going to be playing about either.

- “Who the hell is this punk?” Tim’d grunt from behind you, startling not only yourself but the other guy, too.

- “I suggest you get lost and start lookin’ at a Mag, man. Or I’ll do much, much worse than take your fuckin’ eyes out.

- “Come near her again and I swear I’ll…” and boy would he mean it!

- You would probably have something of Tim’s that let’s other guys know that you’re unavailable in the dating scene, such as: Tim’s leather jacket, his ring, his chain, etc. You’ll probably have it.

- Even so, if anyone has the courage to even look at you in a way that he doesn’t like, he’ll do something about it. Tim isn’t at all like his little brother Curly, he’s a hood and he’ll do what he says, and much worse.

- If he overhears someone talking about you that spurs out any interest, he’ll probably excuse himself from you and beat the crap out of them. It’s happened multiple times at the movies, drive-in’s, etc. (And much to your indigence.)

- He’ll use quite the language when provoked in this way.

- Tim certainly won’t appreciate being teased or finding out that you’re purposefully trying to tease him - he’s not stupid and will figure it out nonetheless -, but he’ll have quite the temper if you bring it off and you’ll feel pretty wretched afterwards.

- He isn’t always one to listen to rumors, but he doesn’t trust chik’s all that much. So, if he hears something from his gang or a buddy or on the streeet, he may believe it but will probably use his brains to figure out it isn’t true, - unless he’s in a bad mood -.

- His gang will be on ‘Reporting Duty’ and will certainly tell Tim if they hear of see anything suspicious.

- “A little birdy told me you were checking out my girl. I figured it’d be true since your dumbass can’t clearly see that she’s taken.

- He wouldn’t need the back-up of his gang, but it’d certainly be there.

- If a Soc is hitting on you or into you, Tim’d get jealous. He’d start to wonder if you’d be into that sort, because they could give you everything that he couldn’t. But he’d eventually come to his senses and thinking; ‘If she wants trash like that, she can have em’ for all I care. I don’t need her anyway.’ And he’d mean it.

- NO DALLAS WINSTON WITHOUT TIM THERE! Dallas is a rat, just as bad as Tim, so Tim will be tense about it because Dallas is a buddy and you’re his girl: no one touches his girl and no one comes in between him and his buddies.

- Tim and Dallas getting into sooooooooooo many fights it’s freaking UNREAL!

- If you try to make Tim jealous - whether successful or not -, like I said ; Tim will pick up on it and get payback. He’s not going to be kind about it either. What you do to him get’s thrown back at you tenfold, and heartlessly at that Tim won’t even bat an eyelash, just stare caustically at you.

- If you show interest back, Tim will be pissed, but he won’t care in the end. If you’re gonna be like that, he’ll let you. He won’t bat an eyelash because he’s seen it all before. He isn’t phased in the least.

- Just know that after Tim get’s jealous, he won’t be so pleasant to be around. It’ll be like trying to talk to Dallas or a hungry and pissed off lion about anything.

- Tim would probably start a make out sessions in the midst of public and whisper very hotly on your lips, “Mine.”.

- Probably angry, jealous sex.

- He’d definitely mark you, like give you love bites and all that.

- The iciest glares sent everyone else’’s way.

- I bet Tim’s been arrested several times for being jealous.

- The worst thing is when he’d get that grim smile on his face, where his scar would warp up and he’d talk all evenly and low. That’s when you really know he’s gonna get them.

- Tim doesn’t even have to do much to scare everyone off.

- He’d deefinitely get mad if you were wearing something a bit more revealing and there was more than just him appreciating it.

- “Can’t you just wear something else, for God’s sake?!

- Just because he’s loyal to his gang and also the Curtis gang, doesn’t mean that he won’t be keeping his eye on how they are around or with you or how they speak about you. He may not explode with rage, but Tim can get anyone back. He’s smart.

- He’d smack Curly in the back of his head for walking in on you changing. “And I’ll do worse next time, you piece of shi-

- At the end of the day, Tim is Tim. He hates getting jealous, but he can’t help but let it effect him. He’s fond of you and he won’t let you go.

Please keep requesting imagines! If you like it, please follow for more.

nerdfordragons  asked:

2. “Hey, isn’t that my hoodie?!” (for shakarian)? :3c

FINALLY. AGES LATER I AM DOING THIS. I’ve been going in order of when I receive when (mostly)- (Also kiiiinda changed the wording from *Isn’t* to *is*) so here we are ;.;



It’s getting late, but sleep is the furthest thing from the crews mind. They had just defeated Saren, the geth and most importantly they had stopped that son of a bitch Sovereign from opening a door from dark space. The last few months had been a non stop search for the bastards, and goddamn it, they were going to get a night off. Or… maybe 2. Or 3. Or maybe she could just retire…

“Shepard… You seriously looked so cool. You’re all… pow, pew!” Tali spoke accentuating her words more than necessary with a voice clearly lined with dextro liquor. Her three fingered hands emoting air guns clumsily. “And he’s all… bleh! Erk! ” She leaned over grabbing her gut as if she’d been shot.

“Yeah… So you keep reminding me, Tali. Every five minutes.” Shepard laughed extending a hand to her small shoulder, patting it affectionately. 

“It’s… really? But, Shepard- you just looked so… Okay, maybe this is why I don’t drink… I just repeat myself over and over and over and…” Her voice trailing off as she move her head struggling to find the hole in her mask. 

Shepard watched with head tilted slightly in amusement and admiration as Tali poked around her voice box attempting to place the straw- er, the emergency induction port, into her mask. Raising her own glass to her mouth, she sipped her double whiskey with a smile. It sure was good to relax a bit… Okay, it would have been nice to relax if she could stop staring. Forcing herself again to be present at the table she sat with Tali, and Kaidan, she swirl the amber liquid in her glass restlessly. 

She really was trying her best not to look across the room. But, Garrus was just so tall, and cute… And so… flirting with Liara. 

What did she care if he was over there talking to her? Was she under the impression that the two of them had something going on? Yes. Yes, she was. Did she think that his invitation extended to Liara? No. No, she did not. 

They’re just talking. Relax. It’s nothing. You’re over here talking. See? People talk to each other, it’s what they do. Or… they talk to themselves like a crazy person. 

Having deciding their conversation was platonic she spent the rest of the night avoiding those crystal blue eyes, and distracting herself with conversation. But as she drink and talk she couldn’t help but wonder if she had read them wrong… One night stands were a common thing to take place amongst humans, so why wouldn’t the same thing be possible for turians? It’s not like they made a commitment to each other or anything. They just… Well, she wasn’t even sure how it happened honestly. 

A few days ago he just showed up at her door with that piercing look he always wore. One second they’re talking and laughing, then the next thing she knew she was moaning his name while he… well, you get the idea. 

Forcing herself to focus on the party and not their tryst, she decided to write it off as some harmless fun. If Garrus didn’t feel the same way, then what was the use of thinking about it? They were still friends, and she cared more about that than anything else. She told herself to think of it as a small blip on her life’s radar. It wouldn’t have been the first time she hooked up with a platonic friend… Only there was something about the way it felt when they were together that woke parts of her she didn’t know were sleeping. Something about the way he kissed her that night that made her think he wasn’t just a small blip on her radar. But that he was a whole fucking army storming the compound of her mind.

It was one night… Get it together, Jane. 

She downed the last of her glass, and once and for all decided she would enjoy her party. After several more rounds of drinks and celebrating with the crew, she felt that worry leave her. Focusing instead on the now and not on the possibilities. She focused on tonight instead of what huge battle was waiting for her tomorrow.

By the end of the evening she was sufficiently wasted, and it was time to get some sleep. The tickle of the whiskey played with her lower stomach and mind, erupting a childlike innocence. She really hated how giggly drinking made her, but she deserved a night off didn’t she? 

“Yes, she does. Or… I do… Let the giggling commence, Commander.” She said aloud to herself with a exaggerated nod as she clumsily approach her cabin.

Upon entering the messy space, she immediately pulled her foot up to struggle with her boots. As she jump and lean tipsily she pull at the bound shoe aggressively. Falling to the bed she leaned her hips up removing her pants in a few solid kicks. Slipping back to her feet she slid off her top to stand in her plain black bra and underwear. She pulled her arms into a long stretch as her eyes slid to the small sofa chair in the corner of her quarters. There lay a large black hoodie… one Garrus had left a few nights ago. She hadn’t moved it, or offered to return it before because well, it made her happy to see it laying there. 

But now, for some reason she desperately needed to wear it. Letting out a sigh she squinted her eyes at the hoodie as if it were taunting her. With a finger pointed at the sweater she licked her lips in thought. “Stop. You don’t need to put that thing on. That’s weird…” She spoke aloud as she turned in place facing the wall with hands on her hips. 

After a moment she slowly she turned around moving her head last, eyeing the sweater once more. Speaking innocently this time she continued. “Okay, I’ll just see what it looks like.” Tiptoeing towards the chair she itched her nose nervously. 

She really was pretty drunk if she was talking to a sweater. Or maybe not, because now that she thought about it she did find herself talking to inanimate objects on more than one occasion…

Reaching her arm down, she grabbed the hoodie lightly, stammering and almost placing it back more time than once. She immediately felt the weight, it was way heavier than any other sweater she’d owned before. It had a turian military insignia on it, and along the inside it said “G.Vakarian”. She could tell right away that this must of been a gift from a friend at C-Sec or something. She didn’t know much about turians but she was pretty sure that hoodies were a human thing.

Holding it out in font of her she inspected it closely, shifting her head side to side. The inside was lined with some kind of thick soft fur like material, and was softer than anything she’d felt before. Or maybe it wasn’t now that she thought about it, she was very drunk… 

In one quick motion she threw it around her back and slipped her hands through the enormous holes for arms. Saying that thing was large was beyond an understatement. That damn hoodie practically went down to her knees, and she wondered if it would fit her, Tali, Liara and maybe even Kaidan in it. She laughed to herself at the thought as she shoved the billowing arms into a pile at her elbow. Zipping the dress like sweater up, she nearly fell forward as she laugh uncontrollably. 

Shepard moved to the small mirror in her cabin to view how ridiculous she must look. Immediately she laughed again at the sight. “Jeez this thing is huuuuuuge.” 

She turned to the side and pulled the hood over her head, that too was enormous as it fell over her face hiding it almost completely. She leaned her face back far arching her back as she peek out of the bottom of the hood, unable to see anything. 

Knock, knock, knock.

“Fuck.” She said quietly as she jumped in fear reacting to the noise. In a buzzed stupor she stumbled backward over a pile of armor. “Ah, damnit…” Speaking quietly to herself before yelling from the ground rubbing her butt in pain. “Uh, just a minute!”

Moving to her feet as dexterously as possible she slipped on a pair of pants and  slid to the door. The mechanical buzz opened to reveal a very comely turian. Garrus stood with his arms crossed leaning against the wall outside her cabin door. Shepard didn’t know who she expected to see there, but it definitely wasn’t him. She watched as he straightened his posture and stepped forward with his version of a sweet smile. 

“Shepard. I just wanted to see if you were okay… I know that we… Is that my hoodie?” He stepped closer, his voice raising in question and amusement. 

“What?” She looked down quickly realizing she had still been wearing his sweater, in embarrassment she pulled the hood back off her head and shook her hair airily. Nodded while pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, she racked her brain for a believable reply. Slowly she opened her mouth to speak, but when nothing happened she just smiled and nodded letting noises only vaguely resembling words escape her lips. “Y-yeah. It’s your… ‘hoodie’.” 

Her words were awkward as she ended with playful air quotes, but she could see on his face that he found her endearing. She nodded again excessively as she took a deep breath in pulling her arms to her hips. “Do… you want it back?”

Garrus leaned in close to her, letting a small laugh slip before he slowly slid a hand to her chin. “You keep it. It looks much better on you.”

Non-spoilery pre-release thoughts.

OK so I haven’t finished my 10 hours of Andromeda yet, but I’ve gotten as far as the trial allows me for the main story and I’ve got like one hour left of pre-release play anyway.

For those on the tag/those who missed my earlier post, I ended up getting Origin access just for the trial because the “OMG ANDROMEDA IS GOING TO BE AWFUL AND BIOWARE IS RUINED FOREVER” talk was really starting to get to me after I saw the bad face animations. Didn’t want to wait a week because I’ve been excited for Andromeda ever since before ME3′s DLC came out. While I was super hyped and had high hopes, at the same time, I thought I had fairly realistic expectations (”Yeah Bioware’s not perfect this isn’t a bad thing” instead of the “OH GOD I’M NOT GONNA BUY THIS GAME BECAUSE BIOWARE KICKS PUPPIES” bullshit I was seeing around) but… yeah.

It was really getting to me.

So here’s some dot points, no spoilers, under the cut. This covers character creator, face animations, world exploration, and narrative, without any spoilers. Any possible spoilers are referred to so vaguely you’ll have no chance of putting anything together, so don’t worry.

I also have a bit at the bottom covering things I really like about this game.

TL;DR – Guys. It’s fine, it’s okay, it really is. Chill. These issues exist, but they’re tiny ass things you’ll barely notice, like in every other game ever. You’ll love Andromeda, you really will. Yeah, it is DA:I in Space, but it’s also not – it’s DA:I in space, but better.

Honestly, these issues are fucking terrifying when you’re hyped up and can’t see the game for yourself yet and everyone’s nitpicking about these dumbass tiny things like they’re Huge Fucking Issues, but when you do play you won’t run into them nearly as often as people made you think, and when you do see them you’ll shrug and move on and forget about them ten seconds later, like you do about 99% of glitches you run into in other games. 

You’re not gonna hate the game just because Jallo’s legs clip into his seat or Addison stared at you way more blankly than any other character or something, for fuck’s sake.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:


It wasn’t something Tim had seen coming.

And maybe that was on him, because God knows everyone else knew it was going to happen. Everyone else had been ticking off the days since the moment he had started the gang; and thinking about it, about all the it’s only a matter of time’s and he’s a lost cause’s, God had probably put a fucking hourglass over his head that everyone could see but him.

Curly had never been like him, even Tim saw that; and looking back at it, he’d never been like anyone in the gang. Even Jimmy– who was always a few steps behind the rest of his guys– was more of a gang member than his baby brother. Tim still tried to make a man out of him, though, he tried so fuckin’ hard and each time was just a bigger let down and another excuse. Curly had always been too reckless and wild; and it wasn’t a gang type of wild, where you’d jump a kid just for the hell of a story to tell. It was a different kind, a stupid kind, where you’d take any risk– the more life threatening the better, according to Curly– just to show that you could. Curly Shepard was a prideful kind of reckless; where his ego had always been a little too big for his brain, and nothing pissed Tim off more.

But looking at him now, stretched out on the hospital bed with a tiny machine showing the unsteady beats of his heart, Tim couldn’t find any trace of anger in his body. At Curly, at least, but he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the fucker who did this to his brother.

A thick bandage was wrapped around his torso where the bullet had gone in. There hadn’t been an exit wound, and Tim had sat in the waiting room for an excruciating 3 hours while the doctors tried to get every fragmented piece. He’d passed the time watching people come in and out, some happy and some not, and he wondered what the hell they had to worry about, because he doubted their brother was laid out on some metal table with his life in the hands of people that would normally look down on him if they saw him in the streets. He’d smoked in the chapel and walked aimlessly around the halls and finally, a few minutes past two in the morning, the doctor sauntered into the waiting room with a pity filled smile and a weak “the rest is up to him.”

At first Tim wanted to fucking punch the guy in the face because, really, it doesn’t make sense to study your ass off for 8 fuckin’ years and then leave the rest up to an 18 year old kid. And he almost did, but Danny sensed it the moment he stood from his chair and sprang into action, grabbing Tim by the shoulder and dragging him outside for a smoke.

But that was four hours ago, and Danny had since left Tim alone in the room with Curly. God knows where Angel is; no one had been able to get in touch with her all night. Tim wanted to do a number on her, too.

He was tired, though, and sitting in that hospital chair was the first time in five years that he didn’t want to be a leader of a gang. He didn’t want to have to keep a group of rowdy greasers in line, didn’t want to fight over turf or broads that he really didn’t give a shit about. All he wanted was to be the big brother that Curly needed.

He’d been too hungry for power before to see it; but now, looking at the unusually pale skin of his brother, he recognized that everything that had happened was his fault. And he hated it, and he spent an hour praying to a God that he never believed in that if Curly could just wake up, he’d make it all right.

It was weird seeing Curly like that, with dark bags under his eyes and every scar glowing under the bright lights in the room. Like this, Tim couldn’t see the dimple that appeared in his cheek when he smiled, or the wrinkles around his eyes when he laughed, he couldn’t see any laugh lines or anything that made him Curly, but instead just scars and bruises and everything that made him a hood.

At 6:31 in the morning, Tim took a deep breath and leaned forward, gripping Curly’s arm tightly in his hand.

He took him in again, clenching his jaw at the way Curly’s chest would stop moving for too long before resuming.

“Listen, kid,” Tim cleared his throat, looking away from his body and out the window. Outside, the sun was just peeking over the tall buildings, illuminating the sky with pretty colors. Tim could feel God laughing at him.

“I need ya to hurry and wake up, Curls,” Tim’s voice was raspy and thick, worn from smoking a whole pack in just a few hours, “You gotta tell me who did this, and we’re gonna get ‘em back real good.”

In a tested move, Tim shook his arm roughly, but Curly showed no sign of waking up or being somewhat coherent, and Tim could feel anger boiling in his stomach.

“I’ll make it right,” He continued, eyeing the scar on his arm from getting stitches when he fell off of the telephone pole. The memory made Tim smile grimly, wishing he could just go back to the day his little brother would do anything to look tuff.

“I swear I’ll make it right, but you can’t fuckin’ go like this, Curly,” Tim’s nails dug into his brother’s arm, and his tone was catching a bite to it, “Not like Dally did.”

Speaking Winston’s name after three long years caused a weird taste in Tim’s mouth. After him and the Cade kid died, and the middle Curtis got shipped off to Vietnam, shit had calmed down on the North side. The gangs realized the kind of game they were playing between life and death, and though they wouldn’t admit it, everyone had gotten a fraction more cautious.

But then grass and smack had made it’s way into the Tulsa streets and the Tigers and the Kings jumped at the chance to make money. Tim kept his boys busy lifting hubcaps, not wanting to fuck with drugs, and he swore that if he ever caught Curly smoking it he’d knock all of his teeth in.

His brother had just rolled his eyes and shook his head, swearing that he didn’t even want to try it.

Times like those is when Tim was real fuckin’ proud of Curly, when he felt he at least did something right with him. And maybe he wouldn’t grow up to be a rich soc with silver spoon bones or a white picket fence, but at least he wouldn’t throw his life away to drugs.

Beside him, there was the sound of a hitch in Curly’s throat where his breath had gotten caught. Tim’s eyes shot up to his face, a new hope forming that maybe he’ll see those cold blue eyes that had scarily gotten just like his. He thought back to the day he’d caught Curly practicing guarding his eyes in the mirror of their bathroom. He looked like an idiot, and Tim told him as much and made of him for the rest of the night; but over the course of two years, the kid had grown to look colder than half the greasers on their turf.

But instead of opening his eyes, Curly’s head just fell to the side, and his chest rose one more time in a shallow breath. His arm tensed slightly under Tim’s grip, and he released it like he had been burned.

He wanted to call for the doctor, wanted them to come and fuckin’ do something and help his brother. But his voice was caught in his throat, and for the millionth time it was just Tim that was there to help his baby brother, but for the first time there was nothing he could do.

At 6:56, the heart monitor flatlined, and Curly Shepard died.

In case you missed it, this is my Valentine’s Day Gift Exchange drabble for the lovely Steph - aka @klarolinedrabbles - Happy Valentine’s Day! Well you asked for fluffy goodness and I hope I delivered (the toothache I have is telling me I did though, unless that’s all that Valentine’s chocolate).

Synopsis: Caroline Forbes considers herself one of the best fundraisers in New York City but reclusive billionaire Klaus Mikaelson has always been out of her reach. Not one to give up easily, she decides that the upcoming Valentine’s Charity Ball is her perfect chance to make him realise what’s really important in life but she might find out more than she ever expected.

Try a Little Tenderness

“You’re doing what now?” Katherine asked through the car speaker. Caroline didn’t need to see the brunette to know what her shocked expression looked like. They’d been best friends for about seventeen years now, so it kind of came with the territory.

“You see this is why I didn’t tell you where I was going until I’d at least passed through Queens,” she replied, staring at the road ahead thinking this was a very different destination to her summers spent on Coney Island growing up.

“Because you knew I’d tell you what a bad idea this was, roomie,” she drawled. “While I admire your dogged determination Care, I think the state of New York would consider this type of activity illegal.”

“And how did you come to that conclusion?”

“Stalking is illegal in all fifty states, including ours,” she drawled and Caroline could tell she was rolling her eyes now.

“I am not stalking him.”

“So, how exactly do you explain the fact you tracked his movements, jumped in your car and followed him on vacation? I think when business people escape to the Hamptons, albeit during the middle of winter, it’s for some sort of rest and relaxation Care, not to be hounded by fundraisers for their upcoming charity events.”

“Number one, I didn’t need to track anyone. It’s not difficult to find even the most private people given the exorbitant amount of media there is these days ,” she scoffed. “And number two, did you ever think I needed to escape the city for some rest and relaxation myself?”

“No. Although this latest stunt tells me that maybe you might need some kind of therapy.”

“Fine,” Caroline scowled ignoring her comments and placing her sunglasses over her eyes to shield the invading light. “It’s for a good cause, Kat.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t,” she agreed. “However, that’s your justification for everything. Just because you think that, it doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

“Exactly what’s wrong with today’s society,” Caroline muttered. “Look, I just think if I went to him and explained myself Klaus Mikaelson would understand that donating to the upcoming Valentine’s Gala would make a difference to so many kids with cancer.”

“I think your multitude of emails and phone calls to his office have already done that.”

“And obviously it failed because I’ve heard nothing back. Which is exactly why a face-to-face meeting is required.”

“So, why don’t you make an appointment like normal people do instead of stalking billionaires at their vacation residences?”

“Because his secretary is ignoring my calls,” she growled. “I haven’t even met Lexi Branson but she seems to have it in for me for some reason.”

“Might have something to do with all that phone stalking,” Katherine teased. “Did you ever consider maybe taking no for an answer?”

Caroline didn’t like the word no, in fact it just made her more determined to succeed and probably why she was so good at her job. Caroline considered herself one of the best and most persistent charity fundraisers in New York, if not the whole East Coast. She’d recently taken a new job at a Children’s Cancer foundation and was determined to make a difference. That included raising as much money as possible for their upcoming Valentine’s Ball.

She’d been considerably successful so far but Caroline always like to push herself harder and that meant trying to convince one of Manhattan’s most reclusive billionaires that this was a cause worth donating towards. It wasn’t her first attempt; she’d tried on two earlier occasions with different charities but failed. To be honest she was surprised someone of his status didn’t donate already, a fact that didn’t sit well with her at all. She didn’t like to judge but given how much he was worth Caroline couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t give back to those less fortunate.

The one thing you could say about Caroline was that she was thorough in her research and she’d read every available article and biography on Niklaus Mikaelson. The second child of four siblings, born in England to meagre beginnings but after completing high school he’d won a scholarship to Oxford to study law where he’d graduated first in his class. He moved to the US and obtained a subsequent Master’s degree in Business Administration at Harvard only to start his own computer business months later. That business would net him $12 million in the first year of operations. The profits only increased each subsequent year. Becoming a millionaire was easy and his billionaire status was confirmed only five years later.

Caroline understood money, it was her job after all but she knew the real motivations for donating to anything came from a deeper place. Unfortunately in his case Klaus didn’t seem to have any at all from what she had seen. He always came across so aloof in the few interviews she’d watched, almost like it was a chore having to converse with people. Caroline wasn’t surprised but it didn’t stop her from wanting to know what made him tick. Unfortunately google wasn’t going to tell her what she wanted. The one thing she did know from the internet was that he was gorgeous, with those crimson lips and dirty blonde curls. How could someone so good looking be so arrogant? It seemed a shame but Caroline figured you couldn’t have everything.

That’s why she’d decided after being stonewalled by his office again that she needed another approach. Some might have considered it stalking but she considered it business, surely if anyone could understand that concept it was him.

“Oh that’s Bonnie calling in, I’m going to connect her,” Katherine interrupted. Caroline rolled her eyes knowing this wasn’t a coincidence, no doubt Katherine had sent her a sneaky text while they’d been talking.

“Does anyone know where my calm and rational friend has gone? She’s about five nine with blonde hair and blue eyes, was last seen driving crazily out of Manhattan an hour ago?”

“I’m perfectly calm Bonnie,” Caroline huffed. “Some people would consider this plan a masterful stroke of genius.”

“Or crazy, depending on who you ask,” Katherine drawled. “So, I’m curious what are you planning to do when you get there, Care? Play next door neighbour and ask to borrow a cup of sugar?”

“I have no intention of lying.”

“Oh, I get it you’re going to say you just happened to be in the neighbourhood and thought you’d stop by?” Bonnie asked.

“Yeah, cause I’m sure he’d believe that,” she baulked.

“So, how are you going to penetrate the Mikaelson mansion? Tell me you have some kind of plan in place?”

“Of course I do, Bon. Do you know who you’re talking to? I’m going to just knock on the front door and introduce myself,” she gulped, thinking just how lame that sounded aloud. She’d planned to come up with something on the drive and decided to blame her lack of preparedness on Katherine and now Bonnie’s impromptu phone interrogation.

“Please tell me you have something more creative than that? You don’t just knock on doors in Southampton. They have high walls, big gates, security cameras and an angry German Shepard if you’re really lucky.”

“You seem to forget just how charming I can be, Katherine,” she argued. “They don’t call me one of the best fundraisers in the City for nothing.”

“I’m not saying you aren’t but it’s pretty obvious this guy is immune to your charms given his constant refusal to meet with you.”

“Oh yea of little faith, Kitty Kat,” she scoffed. “Not only will I put on my best charm I’m also wearing THE dress.”

“The red Stella McCartney?” Bonnie gasped.

“And the black Louboutins,” she grinned knowingly.

“But you only break those out when…”

“It’s an emergency.” Caroline didn’t like to use her sexuality, in fact she only did when it was absolutely the very last resort and she figured the circumstances called for a little designer intervention. Her attire was equal parts business like and sexy as hell.

“If Klaus Mikaelson doesn’t agree to see you in that ensemble then he’s either gay or really, really stupid.”

“I guess we’ll wait and see,” she murmured. “I really should get going, ladies. You know as fun as this weird phone frientervention has been.”

“Play some Eye of the Tiger, that’s what I always do before a case,” she explained. Katherine’s win-loss ratio in the courtroom was impressive so Caroline figured she might take her up on the advice and began to search for some Survivor in her music library.

“Good luck,” they both replied in unison before disconnecting. Before Caroline could play the Rocky anthem and get her head into the game, her phone beeped indicating a new text message. She eyed it curiously, noticing his name appear. She certainly had to hand it to all her besties, they certainly had her back.

“Knock him dead, gorgeous.” Caroline grinned at Enzo’s words. She should have been angry at Kat for telling him and Bonnie but Caroline needed all the encouragement she could garner. It was only then the phone beeped again. “P.S. If you find any hot, available millionaires give them my number.” She rolled her eyes; he always had an ulterior motive when it came to women. She turned up the volume losing herself in the music as she drove closer to her destination.

Forty-five minutes later, Caroline found herself turning down Meadow Lane in Southampton, immediately she was intimidated. She knew this was millionaires (or in many cases billionaires) row but had never seen it personally. The houses were as much spectacular as they were enormous and she was in awe of the architecture as much as the grand, impressive grounds each boasted. She almost missed his at number 96 and had to apply the brakes quickly before she ventured too far off course. Caroline thought they were all gorgeous but his was especially picturesque. A brilliant, white, multi-story residence with royal blue accents that blended in with the surrounding area but Caroline knew that was only the beginning of its appeal. She inhaled deeply, wondering just what she was doing here. She’d been so determined but seeing his house had stunned her slightly.

Caroline lifted her head, determined not to let some billionaire get in the way of what was important. She pulled her Prius into his driveway, and was met with a guard housed at the entrance.

“Hello, I’m here to see Mr Klaus Mikaelson.”

“And you are?” He asked searching his clipboard seriously.

“Caroline, Caroline Forbes,” she gulped knowing she wouldn’t be on his list.

“You’re not on the list Miss Forbes, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” he instructed, his emotionless expression not changing as he said it.

“But I just need to see him for a few minutes,” she objected, ready to go into the spiel she’d practiced on the way down. “It’s a business matter.”

“No buts, you need to leave the premises straight away,” he replied dismissively. Caroline was stuck for words; she’d half considered getting out of her car to model her outfit but knew this grouch would be unmoved.

She reversed begrudgingly, uttering a few colourful terms as she did it. She looked to the road ahead, dreading the drive back and annoyed at her failure with him yet again. She didn’t come all this way for nothing. Caroline noticed a gate to the property as she drove along the side street. Maybe she could make her own entrance? Klaus Mikaelson would surely give her points for originality. Either that or he’d have her arrested. Caroline decided on that option, hoping that Enzo, Bonnie and Katherine could pool together the proceeds for bail if not.

The gate had a keypad on the side, Caroline realised that she had no idea what the code would be. She wracked her brain thinking about all she knew of the billionaire without many results forthcoming. Caroline thought it was hopeless but decided to enter something anyway, what did she have to lose? She entered the digits she knew so well. One. Two. Zero. Seven. It was her birthday. What she wasn’t expecting was the click as the gate opened.

As much as she wanted to question his choice and the fact she guessed correctly, Caroline pushed the gate and stepped onto the manicured lawn in awe. Caroline wasn’t expecting such an easy entry but here she was looking up at the foreboding property. If she turned up at the front door what was she supposed to say? I just broke into your house but I promise I’m not a burglar? Caroline hadn’t figured out what she’d do at that point. She really needed to stop being so impulsive, it only seemed to get her in trouble.

Before she could walk any further, a white husky approached, eyeing her curiously. Even with Katherine’s earlier warnings she hadn’t worked out what she would do in this situation, if only she had some dog treats to bribe him with. “Hey, gorgeous,” Caroline cooed, attempting to make friends with the majestic looking dog. “I’m not going to hurt you.” What Caroline wasn’t expecting was for the dog to sidle up beside her and nuzzle its nose into her leg for a pat. Some guard dog this was, not that she was complaining. She gave him a long rub relishing in his adorable affection.

“Wolf always has been a sucker for a pretty face,” someone observed, startling her slightly. She looked up into his curious brown eyes, glad the first person she came across after breaking in wasn’t the blonde and blue eyed owner. “Now, you don’t look like our gardener,” he enquired. He was gorgeous for sure standing at just over six foot with brown hair and a cheeky smile.

“I could be,” she argued, knowing how stupid it sounded as soon as she said it.

“So, what are your care instructions for these daisies then?”

“Just leave them be, urgh they’ll die soon enough,” Caroline offered feebly, looking at the suffering plants. She never really considered herself much of a gardener given the number of plants she’d subsequently killed over the years.

“Brutal,” he said. “But I like your style. So, do you make it a habit of breaking and entering?”

“This is my first time actually,” she admitted, deciding she had no choice. “And surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. But you, uh, might want to change your gate code, god knows who could just walk on in.”

“You’re either here to see Rebekah, Niklaus or Elijah. I’m not sure why you’d waste time on any of my siblings. Just FYI they don’t put out very easily, far too uptight for their own good.”

“Which means you obviously do. Is that supposed to impress me or something?” Caroline drawled knowingly and he let out a chuckle.

“I think you should be a bit nicer given I could call the police and tell them some crazy blonde pretending to be a gardener broke into my brother’s house.”

“I’m not crazy, well most of the time,” she conceded. “I’m Caroline Forbes and by the sounds of it you must be Kol Mikaelson.”

“I see my reputation precedes me,” he grinned. “So, enough about me. What exactly are you doing here, darling?”

“It’s actually work related,” she explained.

“I’m listening.”

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nerdyholler  asked:

For the writing prompts, pairing of choice or keep it gen, #47: “I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks.”

Thank you for the prompt! I ended up going with Shaynor because they’re adorkable and I’ve been meaning to branch out and how could I not. 


“Commander?” Samantha asked, fingers poised over her console. Surely she must have misheard what Shepard had said. Head tilted to the side, brow furrowed, she waited for the other woman to clarify. 

“I said I waxed the floor, so grab your fluffy socks.” She waved a hand downwards, and Sam followed its movements, which brought her to the realisation that the Commander wasn’t wearing shoes. She worked hard to stifle the laughter that bubbled up inside her at the implications. This certainly wasn’t regulation, but if she’d learnt anything during her time aboard the Normandy, it was that Commander Shepard had a relaxed attitude towards rules. They had a war to fight, Shepard had said. They had to steal their moments of happiness where they could. 

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Youtube AU Chapter 5

YouTube AU That-Doesn’-Have-A-Name-Yet
AU Summary: Simon and Baz are popular YouTubers with a rivalry.
Chapter Summary: Penny teases Simon. Agatha talks to the mysterious man.
First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
[ Wow, I’m late yet again. Only a day this time though! Shoutout to @cloudyrainyday for the beautiful fan-art that inspired the first scene~ ]

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Garrus Romance Remarks

One of my favorite part of Mass Effect (and Bioware games) is the banter. But none more than when the crew/companions comment on, with, or about your current love interest regarding said romance. If you haven’t figured it out by now … *cough*REALLY?!?*cough* my LI is Garrus. So below are some, though I’m sure not all, of the comments that come from your crew regarding our favorite turian bad boy. These are in no particular order and contain quotes from both Mass Effect 2 and 3. Enjoy!

Tali: *drunk on the bathroom floor* Garrus … but you’re with Shepard! Oh, the three of us? Well, hmm …

Jacob: We’ve got a good thing here … something I’d like to see through. Hope you feel the same.
Shepard: This was a bad idea. I think we should call it quits.
Jacob: You pushed for more, now you’re pulling the plug? Hope you got a good excuse for this.
Shepard: If you must know … I’m cleaning house before trying to start something with Garrus.
Jacob: That cuttlebone? I … suppose you have a history. That’s usually enough.

Kasumi: Someone saw Garrus heading to your quarters with a bottle of champagne. I’m happy for you two. It’s not often you find something good in a Galaxy like this.

Liara: You know I’m one hundred and eight—one hundred and nine in a couple of months.
Shepard: Aw, I should get you something nice.
Liara: You’re alive again. I’ve got everything I want. So tell me what you want. What are you fighting for? A chance to give Garrus some peace?
Shepard: He’s been hurt—betrayed. He deserves something better. I never thought I’d find peace in the arms of a turian, but …
Liara: Why not? Humans seem to have no trouble finding asari attractive.
Shepard: Everyone finds asari attractive.
Liara: I hope the two of you find some happiness, Shepard.

Shepard: What are you up to now, Zaeed?
Zaeed: Next time another clone of yours tries stealing your life, we’ll have a nice little surprise rigged for them. Isn’t that right, Garrus?
Garrus: Spare no expense for my honey.

Kelly: How is our newest turian crew member doing? His injuries looked painful.
Shepard: He’s been through a lot, and not just physically.
Kelly: There’s something about him. I just want to hold him close and whisper, ‘It’ll be alright.’
Shepard: I know exactly what you mean.
Kelly: You two would be such a cute couple.

Shepard: Tali’s our expert on Geth software. She’ll be handling hacking and security.
Garrus: Good to have you back, Tali. Maybe with another dextro aboard, they’ll get better turian food.
Tali: As long as it’s sterilized.
Garrus: Doctor Michel did get me some dextro-amino chocolate. You’re welcome to it once we’re back.
Tali: *surprised/suspicious* She got you turian chocolate?
Garrus: She said she saw it and thought of me. Why?
Tali: Watch yourself, Shepard.

Shepard: Have you got a minute to talk?
Mordin: Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters. Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal stress release for humans and turians.Still recommend caution. Warn of chafing.
Shepard: You have a recommendation as a doctor?
Mordin: Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible. So don’t … *coughs* … ingest. Also forwarding advice booklet to your quarters. Valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zones overviews. Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary.
Shepard: Wait a minute, Mordin. You’re just yanking me around, aren’t you?
Mordin: Shocking suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of mockery. Enjoy yourself while possible, Shepard. Will be here, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required.

Shepard: You worried there might be terminals you need me to hack?
Liara: That’s not fair. You were dead!
Shepard: I came back!
Liara: Yes, you came back. And now Garrus is doing a lot more than just calibrating the Normandy’s guns!

Shepard: So whats her name?
James: *laughs* No! No … I stopped fraternizing when I joined the military. The two don’t seem to go well together.
Shepard: Hasn’t stopped you from being a shameless flirt.
James: Yeah, well, that’s just my way. I don’t mean anything by it, Lola.
Shepard: Uh-huh.
James: *laughs* Why? Am I making this hard for you and Garrus?
Shepard: *scoffs* Not even remotely.
James: Hey … how do you two … I mean, is he—you know—do turians have all the same …
Shepard: Same …?
James: Never mind. I don’t really want to know.

Garrus: Not a bad place here … decent views of the perimeter, multiple sniper perches. With some work, its the kind of place Archangel could retire in.
Liara: Also known as the Shepard-Vakarian love nest.

Samara: Working with Shepard reminded me of my younger days. Running with mercenaries, blowing things up with mercenaries … and occasionally, sleeping with mercenaries.

Garrus: As charming as ever.
Jack: Bite me, Garrus. Better yet, bite her. Probably how she likes it.

Liara: So. You rekindled your relationship with Garrus?
Shepard: Liara, I …
Liara: Be with whoever you want to be with. I’m just not interested in playing games anymore.

Shepard: Why don’t you two relax and enjoy the party. The apartment’s fine.
Garrus: ‘Fine’ is good for someone else, not the love of my life. I want to know you’re safe. Suppose it isn’t your clone? It’s Liara’s clone that comes after you … or Jokers!
Zaeed: Then you and all your clones could have a sodding love-fest. Think I’m gonna puke.

Shepard: Maybe you and I have a thing or two in common.
Javik: But you have something else. The reasons you fight are still alive. The friendships of the people around you. And more.
Javik: You and the turian are … joined?
Shepard: You could say that.
Javik: I’m not. Your pheromones are.

Zaeed: Weaponized wall fixtures, Shepard.  Wave of the future in home defense.
Shepard: Uh-huh.
Garrus: Shepard, sweetie … love of my life. Indulge your crazy boyfriend. I need to know you’re safe.
Shepard: *laughs* If it’ll make you feel better, honey.
Zaeed: Oh, go get a room. God knows this place has enough of them.

Kaiden: So what do you say? *sighs* Are we good?
Shepard: We’re good. It was great to have you back on the Normandy.
Kaiden: Thanks …
Shepard: What’s going on? Is there something else?
Kaiden: Yeah … maybe. Was there something between you and Garrus?
Shepard: Kaiden, I … *sighs and covers face* … I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. We were so far apart, physically. And after our fight on Horizon, I …
Kaiden: Yeah … I’ll own that.
Kaiden: Was there something between you and Garrus?
Shepard: *defensive* I wouldn’t cheat on you, Kaiden.
Kaiden: You’re lying! I know—everyone knows.

Kasumi: The word is that Garrus really likes you. I can never tell with turians. I think you should go for it. A lot of people want to see you two together.

Shepard: Alright, Garrus … I gotta know. What are you doing?
Garrus: Hmmm … oh, nothing. Just, uh … admiring the polish on this glass.
Zaeed: Good. Don’t tell her. She won’t understand.
Shepard: Try me.
Garrus: Ohhh … it’s just … well … one man’s decorative glass wall fixture is another man’s explosive glass wall fixture.
Zaeed: Oh, fu—now you’re in for it. I can already hear the old ball and chain frowning.

(So I’m including this one from Mass Effect even though it wasn’t in reference to a Garrus romance, as he wasn't romance-able in the first one … because Ashley’s a fucking psychic!) 



Ashley: You say jump, I say how high. You tell me to kiss a turian, I’ll ask which cheek.
Shepard: I don’t think kissing turians will be necessary.
Ashley: You never know, Commander.

Limit of the Flesh (17)

Shepard and Vakarian, post-war but pre-relationship. Also on AO3.


Shepard had never taken Garrus for granted – she never took her people for granted – but she had treated him in a manner that in some ways resembled casual disregard. Fear was what drove her. If he had limits, if there was some quality in her nature that could cause him to turn against her, she didn’t want to know it. Her strategy was the avoid that specter of a thought entirely. Maybe she was too tired for contingency plans; or maybe Garrus was just a blind spot.

She was reading over an Alliance intelligence brief in the mess when he tracked her down. Her reconstituted eggs were cooling on her plate, but at least the intel was useful; she’d pulled a couple of strings with FLEETCOM and managed to persuade one of their extranet teams to trace the Quisling by his purchase history. It was long, grueling, tedious work that had started when Shepard, combing over the dossiers provided by various governing bodies, investigation agencies, and corporations, had built a profile of their target based on his tastes. The Naval Intelligence Division had fleshed that profile out, fed it into their computers, and combed through the results by hand – a necessity not only because of the breadth of the project (hundreds of millions of people in the galaxy liked StarShine Premium Water, severe military-cut trousers and pants, and Asari parlor-synth music) but also because of the differences in regional laws concerning privacy. Still, the joint effort had produced a list of eight fake identities that the balance of probability suggested were aliases of the Quisling.

“Shepard,” Garrus said.

Shepard grunted and kept reading.

“Shepard,” Garrus said. “We need to talk.”

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amazingmrcinema007  asked:

I honestly didn't think I was ever going to find another reactions blog that included Mass Effect characters ever again. Mass Effect companions react to Shepard pulling a prank on them every once in a while.

That was my thoughts as well, that’s partly why I made this blog! - Mod Jade

Garrus: honestly it kind of scared him at first, not that the turian would ever admit that. Pranking isn’t really a cultural thing with turians, so when Shepard first pulled a prank on him, he thought it was some kind of punishment for doing something wrong. Once Shepard explained the concept to him however, he was actually pleased to be on the Commander’s list of friends, even if he didn’t start really retaliating until ME2. If Romanced; same initial reaction, only when he begins to retaliate, he and Shepard tend to up the ante every prank until things get totally out of hand. But it brings them closer together and they laugh about it afterwards.

Ashley: she was not impressed to be pranked by her Commander. Seriously, the great Commander Shepard? This immature? But she does have a lot of sisters, so she sees the fun in it, and usually joins in with the Commander’s pranks on the crew members, even pulls a few on Shepard in revenge. If Romanced; “if you wanted me in bed, you could have asked instead of dousing me with water Shepard!” Ash is always on the look-out for pranks, and Shepard has to be extra-sneaky in order to catch her off guard.

Kaidan: he’s pretty upset by it when it first happens, at BAaT the only pranks ever pulled on him were cruel, not in the spirit of play. Shepard will stop if he asks them to, otherwise he won’t say anything to the Commander about the pranks they pull, just to disappoint them as they wait for a reaction. If Romanced; Shepard loves him, so it couldn’t possibly mean to upset him, he knows that. He starts to see the fun in pranks, and pulls a few of his own against Shepard, but they’re really bad and he gets found it almost immediately. Shepard trains him in the art of pranks, and soon they’re both pranking their squadmates like there’s no tomorrow.

Wrex: Wrex’s first reaction, like with anything, was to see it as a challenge to catch the other off guard. Who the better warrior was depended on how many succesful pranks one pulled, and Wrex was determined to be the winner. It made life on the Normandy a little more chaotic as Wrex vowed to prove himself the best prankster on the ship. 

Liara: like Garrus, she was frightened by the first incident, as she didn’t know enough about humans to know it was just a bit of fun and thought Shepard was angry with her. Shepard explained to her that humans did that among friends, and again the asari misunderstood the concept of pranks and when trying to reciprocate her pranks were a little…wrong. Like putting a dead mouse in Shepard’s desk, and tossing all of Kaidan’s boots out the airlock. Shepard had to sit her down and teach her how good-natured pranks should be. If Romanced; Aprils’ Fools Day is Liara’s favourite human holiday. It’s an annual tradition that she and Shepard pull elaborate and escalating pranks on each other throughout the day, no matter where they are. Liara once sent a package of sticky glitter to Shepard from Thessia, and couldn’t stop laughing when Shepard got her on the vid, covered in glitter even after three weeks. 

Tali: she was angry at first, thinking the act was out of cruelty, and angrily confronted Shepard about their prank. Once she understood the concept though, she didn’t mind so much. She never attempted any pranks of her own. Well, none that you can prove anyway. Tali has an excellent way of getting others to do her bidding for her, leaving a very paranoid Shepard. If Romanced; she thinks it’s sweet, Shepard’s sharing their sense of humour with her and they know they’re close enough that Tali understands that, so she never minds the pranks, even if they scare her sometimes. She still retains her habit of getting others to prank Shepard back in retaliation, especially EDI.

Zaeed: hates it. forever and always. Shepard would be wise to never make an attempt to prank Zaeed again. Not if they value their life. And their favourite rifle.

Legion: seriously doesn’t get it. the idea of doing semi-bad things to people you like confuses him, organics are so weird. Not many pranks successfully work on him anyway, his processors usually alert him to any abnormalities there may be in the AI Core and he’s quick to remove them. 

Grunt: like Wrex he sees it as a challenge. a personal one. Grunt’s too big to go skulking around the Normandy without being noticied, so he saves his pranks for shore leave. they’re usually pretty crazy too, and he usually ends up in lockup for a few hours with Shepard and whoever else he decided to pull pranks on. Grunt loves them, they’re really fun and it’s like a bonding exercise with his krantt for him, it makes him feel like he belongs somewhere for the first time since he left his tank. 

Jack: oh-ho-ho no. you want to dance Shepard? then let’s dance. Jack at first is extremely pissed, she feels disrespected and threatened, and no matter what Shepard tells her she’ll still resent it. Doesn’t stop her from dishing it back though. Shepard and Jack’s pranks are usually on the violent and often dangerous side, and funnily enough it causes them to grow closer. Jack thinks it’s fun, the more dangerous the outcome the better, and appreciates how Shepard can take as much as they dish it out. If Romanced; the pranks take a more…sexual turn. And Jack has a few tricks up her sleeve to gain the upper hand in that regard. Honestly the amount of times Shepard’s clothes have gone ‘missing’ when they go for a shower, or Jack’s wardrobe is replaced with frilly under garments and baby pink dresses is ridiculous.    

Miranda: she honestly hates the idea and thinks it’s so immature, not to mention time-wasting. They’ve got a job to do! Even though she hates the stupid childish behaviour, you better believe she’ll retaliate for her pride if nothing else. If Romanced; the back-and-forth pranks are like a dance of dominance, just which one of us is the best Shepard? who’s more intelligent, quick-witted, creative, and secretive? they turn it into a competition, and they’re especially competitive when they turn their pranks on their squadmates instead of each other.  

Jacob: he’s served in the Alliance, and he’s seen coping mechanisms like this before. Shepard is annoyed with his reaction to their pranks being to suggest they have a talk with Kelly. Shepard quickly loses interest in pranking Jacob, but every now and then Jacob will prank Shepard in little ways; like putting super-glue on their coffee cup, and Shepard will never suspect him. He’ll just be chuckling in the background as they go crazy over finding out who pranked them. If Romanced; he’s caught in the act once, and Shepard realizes Jacob’s actually more into pranking than they believed. In fact his sense of humour is almost on par with theirs, why don’t they show it more often? Jacob usually only pranks Shepard when they’re alone, like in their cabin, he doesn’t make it a public spectacle. But Shepard can’t resist embarrassing Jacob in front of the whole ship.

Kasumi: she loves it, thinks it’s good fun. she never gets caught setting up pranks of her own, and the mystery pranks are always blamed on Shepard by the rest of the crew. Shepard and Kasumi love to mess with each other, replacing their weapon’s ammo with shells of salt, their shampoo with shaving cream, switching the labels on similar-looking foods, etc. the crew usually stay out of the way when those two are on a pranking spree.

Thane: he finds it amusing, he used to play little tricks on Irrikah sometimes, and it’s nice to have something to genuinely smile at. the fact that he’s always so stoic when pranking Shepard back makes it difficult to be caught at it, and honestly just makes it funnier for Shepard. If Romanced; it reminds him of happier times, and it hurts just a little, especially when he lapses into solipsism, but he appreciates the little distractions from the gloomier things in his mind. He appreciates Shepard’s humour too, and is always so smug when a prank against Shepard goes just right. 

Samara: she doesn’t necessarily understand the pranks or their purpose. most of time they don’t affect her, but she makes sure to react accordingly so Shepard is happily satisfied with their work. she finds it cute, it makes her think of her daughters when they were young. so she always indulges Shepard to make them happy.

EDI: “I don’t ‘like’ things the way organics do, but I enjoy the complexity of the challenge that these pranks present. it is…fun.” EDI is eager to learn more about humour and organics- especially human humour at that. EDI really likes to try and set up her own pranks, that are usually so cringeworthy Shepard loves them. Joker often joins in her pranks or gives her new ideas. He regrets that when she becomes EDI’s next prank victim.

James: James can’t get enough of the pranks to be honest, things like that is what makes the Alliance great. But it’s what makes the Normandy crew especially great. He loves to feel that comradeship between the crew members, but he thinks it’s totally awesome to see that level of casualness in his Commander. He’ll always prank them back, they usually involve covering Shepard in various types of substances that are very hard to wash off. Shepard’s involve stealing all his shirts and whistling when he walks around the ship shirtless looking for them.

Javik: primitive bullshit. no thanks.