i really hope people dont think im trying to make money off this

Playing with Fire - 01

Summary: After breaking up with you, you decide the only way to get back at your -now ex-boyfriend and avoid public humilliation is by making a deal with resident bad boy Min Yoongi: you’ll give him money as long as he pretends to be your new boy. 

Genre: Romance. 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Rating: Mature (just some cursing for now but will def add in some good ol smut and fluff and probs a lil of angst? as the story progresses)

Length: 2.2k

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -  Part 7 -  Part 8 [Finale]

A/N: listen. i have no idea where im going with this. im already thinking the second part and even THIRD part of Lifted but I feel like im posting too much jungkook (yes there is such a thing as posting too much jungkook) and i want to give the other members a chance and i’ve had this idea with yoongi for a while and its been destrOYing me. i dont even know if posting this already is a good idea because this literally the only thing i’ve written so far and im a master at procastinating and not finishing series (don’t worry wont make these too long) so anyways. still feel like this is going to be a mistake. go listen to some agust d bc this is 100% based on him.

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He’ll be wrong, for you.

Summary: (Oneshot/possible series) What happens when you take on Kim Taehyung… 

Type: Mafia!AU

‘Stop staring at me.’

‘…Why?’

‘Cause I said so-‘

‘And? ….You don’t control me-‘

‘Maybe not. But if I tell you not to look at me, you shouldn’t look at me out of simple courtesy-‘

‘And what are you going to do if I don’t stop looking at you-‘

‘Well, for starters if you don’t stop arguing and stop looking at me im going to come over there and-‘

‘How?…How exactly ….will you get over here?’

You sneer at him with that question, unable to answer him with the situation you were in; bound to a chair on the opposite side of the dank room to him, with about 10 feet of open space between you.

‘That’s what I thought.’ He jibes, smirking in that infuriatingly sexy way that he’d always had, and you have to close your eyes and draw in a deep breath to make sure you don’t scream in anger at him and draw any attention to your kidnappers.

‘Just stop looking at me.’ You mumble, hanging your head back on your shoulders and staring up at the ceiling, tracing the cement patterns for the 100th time and sighing heavily as you try to forget the adamant hunger clawing at your stomach, screaming at you for food that you didn’t have and growling in protest when you ignore it.

‘Are you hungry?’ 

‘Of course.’ You snort softly, lifting your head back up to look at him and seeing the pout his face had slipped into, his full lips looking ridiculously inviting in that moment, but as soon as the thought had flitted through your mind you shake yourself and look down at your feet.

‘Me too.’ He says, his pout only becoming more childlike, and you’re thankful that it was easier to hate it when it looked that way, despite the fact he then lifts his gaze to yours and you see specks of sadness and sorrow in his gaze for food that he will more than likely never get.

‘I cant believe they didn’t even leave some leftover chicken bones or something.’ He mutters, his eyebrows pulling into a frown as he struggles against his bindings for the 100th time in the last 2 hours, giving up pretty quickly with the lack of strength he’d achieved from nearing starvation.

‘Did you expect them to leave us a picnic?’ you snort, raising an eyebrow incredulously at him, and smirking at the face he pulls as if he knew they wouldn’t but he’d still hoped for it anyway.

‘Well…no-….but I cant stop thinking about food…im so h-u-ngry!’ he whines, rocking in his chair frustratedly and the movement forces his fringe into his eyes, cutting the lines of his face into the one of severity that you’d seen him with the very first time you’d met.

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anonymous asked:

So I donated to your kickstarter so long ago that I can't even remember when it was and you haven't been making updates about the progress of the album in a very long time. I know life happens and sometimes things get pushed back but I'm starting to wonder where my money went and if I will ever get the vinyl I paid for. It's been well over a year and it's making me think you just took everyone's money and don't really care how long they have to wait to see what they paid for come to life.

this mite be a long post! please for the love of god feel free to scroll beyond if u dont care, i truly hate when people fuck up my feed with their essays so ya. that is my disclaimer here. ok.

ok. deep breath.
i talk about this/my campaign/my project VERY often on twitter (it’s distracting and often harmful for me to use tumblr and facebook regularly. sorry if that’s inconvenient). i realize most people aren’t actively checking my shit & that my tweets get buried in the constant avalanche of my stupid thoughts, so i’ll summarize the past year or so. hopefully whoever left this anonymous message will check back to see the answer and if so, i IMPLORE u to read the entire thing instead of picking out details from the first 4 sentences and sending me another message about how i stole your fucking money.

my album is almost finished. i’ve said this multiple times over the course of the past year, but this time it’s like, legitimately fact. i’m feeling extra sensitive right now and reading this message felt like stepping on a rusty nail, so i’ll go ahead and give you as many details as possible to explain why it’s taken me over a year to complete my first full-length album. 

i am an independent artist, as you probably know. i am also an extreme perfectionist. when i began my kickstarter campaign in september of 2015, i had about 30 songs written that i’d poorly recorded in my shitty apartment, many of which i hoped to record professionally for my first proper (and physical) release. i could not fucking stand the thought of being contractually obligated to make music via label and figured kickstarter was my last hope. i honestly thought it would fail miserably and decided that when my campaign came to a humiliating end, i’d move on from music and do something else that wouldn’t make me feel so fucking horrible about myself. somehow, thanks to you and everyone else who made my dream come true, i made enough money to actually make a record.

two months later in january of 2016, i went home to florida from LA to visit my family for the holidays. thanks to my incredible fucking luck, some kind of crime ring was hitting licks on every major airline’s baggage claim at LAX post-holiday and my luggage containing 3 notebooks filled with all of my lyrics, 2 external hard drives and a bunch of little USB drives containing 2 years of my work were stolen. hmu if u want the police report for proof. 

i lost a lot of work (and learned the value of The Cloud- i hate to trust it after my nudes were leaked and my fucking whole bank account was emptied after someone hacked my shit in 2014, but here we are) and basically all morale but pieced together what i could from what i had left. i hired a producer i’ve admired for years to be the executive producer of my record and decided this fucking bullshit was an opportunity to make my shit better. due to unfortunate, unforgivable and honestly criminal circumstances, this fucking psycho wasted an upsetting amount of my time and decided to back out of my project. THAT particular situation keeps me up at night and i fucking live for the day i can tell that goddamn story, it truly shocks me that a human being could do me like that fool did me, yall will find out one day but ahem. anyway. 

after this incredible fucking scam, i decided to ONCE AGAIN start anew considering the legal and financial obligations of releasing music that had been co-written by this bad fucking person. i left my home in LA and went to stay at my dad’s house in florida, spent literally all of my time mastering production software and learning to play piano, and filled in all the shit i’d lost with new things i’d written and produced entirely on my own. then i got married, but that’s unimportant to this story. actually it is like, kind of important, but whatever.

i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in january 2016 and in march of 2016 i attempted suicide. i left an organized folder of songs, mockups for art, my bank account info and a note to my manager to make sure that my album was released because i literally could not comfortably die knowing that i let down the people who gave me money. im not tryna make anyone feel bad im just like saying cuz its part of the whole shit. anyway, i failed at killing myself and woke up in a bathtub of puke ready to go the fuck off. haven’t wanted to die since.

ahem. so. since i’m honestly 100% unable to trust a single fucking human being with my work and my thoughts after what happened up there ^^^^, i decided to set up a room in my new home for recording. i wrote, recorded, and produced (with some help, but like please bitch give me credit here) a fucking entire new album that i actually LIKED. im not shy about the fact that i think my music is stupid gimmicky- after trying to die and not dying and then getting help i realize i have like a little bit of talent i should actually appreciate. i finished recording and producing it, hired a person i trusted with a degree in music production to help me polish it and alas, he ran off without a single fucking word. thankfully i didn’t pay him a cent but like hey there u follow me on twitter and FUCK. YOU.

so now, as of about a month ago, i’ve absolutely perfected my songs (as much as i can- i still lose sleep over the imperfections im just not good enough to fix) and i’ve found the most trustworthy, hardworking team i’ve ever met to finish this shit. it’s demoralizing to recap the past year, mostly bc it was so fucking horrible for me, but i can promise you the last thing i would ever ever ever ever do is take a bunch of money and dip out with it. i do literally every single piece of this shit on my own, from the music to visuals to branding, and it’s hard. it’s time consuming. i have a job outside of music to provide for myself and for my family, and that takes up my time too. 

so i really apologize for the amount of time it’s taken for this record to be released. it fucking kills me to be waiting and i didn’t spend your money; god knows i would never in my fucking life just STEAL your money. the fact that anyone would ever accuse me of that makes me ILL.

i just want ya’ll to know there’s nothing easy about releasing music as an independent artist, especially one who refuses to accept anything less than perfection, and ESPECIALLY one who refuses to be disrespected and taken advantage of. i’m doing my best, and it took me a while. i feel like it’s worth it. it’ll be another 2 months or so. hit me up if you want a refund on your vinyl.

My response to the post on “30 questions to test your personality”

If you could have one breakfast for tomorrow knowing it’s the last day you will live, what would that be?

uh, maybe pancakes (but not american) and eggs? with apple juice and tea

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you like as a dinner guest?

assuming i can only pick one person, i’d probably say someone like emma watson or amandla stenberg

Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

um, yes. I hate talking on the phone, and i wont do it unless i have to, and unless it’s my bff i will rehearse what im gonna say. idk why, i guess it’s an aspect of my anxiety and fear of losing control over the conversation? 

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else about your life, what would you want to know?

i’d want to know if im gonna stop feeling like im wasting my life

If you knew in one year you would die suddenly, what would you change about the way you are living your life now?

I’d rather not know, i dont think i would be able to handle the knowledge, and i might even plan another date to die on just bc i would want to not be powerless? i’d probably travel and go to concerts with my friends, and family. also i’d stop caring abt other peoples opinions and i would stop attending college bc who has the time?

Do you think your name affects your personality or choice of career?

um, i think  it might affect the way others see u? Like i know my Iranian uncle has had some issues with his last name in airports and stuff? I also think you can have a privileged name, and if u dont have that you’re probably forced to care about stuff like social justice a lot more bc you might be a victim of some form of oppression. 

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

idk? a lot older than i am. 

If happiness was the national currency, what job would make you rich?

Being an author of books with diversity

Do you push buttons more than once and do you believe that makes it work faster?

I do sometimes, but i don’t believe it’ll make anything go faster

Would you want to be friends with yourself?

dang im trying to be it’s really hard. but i would like to meet my clone/doppelganger bc i feel like there’s a lot of stuff that i want to talk about but not with anyone else 

If you won a million dollars (or some large sum of money) would you quit your job?

if it was enough money to keep me going for the rest of my life yes, i would. I’d start studying a lot of the things i actually care about and travel where i wanted to and i’d go to concerts no matter where on earth they took place

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

yeah, but not like mysteriously an time-loop-y

Are you really wasting time if you’re enjoying it?

im definitely wasting time 

Would you rather lose all your money and valuables or all the pictures you’ve taken?

oh my god. i guess the pictures? i dont take a lot of pictures, and i have some stuff im really incredibly fond off. 

Would you rather have a horrible short-term memory or a long-term memory?

horrible short term, which is what i already have. I wouldnt be able to handle not knowing stuff long term. like i treasure my memories a lot

Would you rather go back to age five with everything you’ve learned or live now with everything you’ll learn in the future?

im not sure. i dont think so. i dont like being self aware

Are humans better at construction or destruction?

i think we’re all sorta fascinated by destruction. When u learn to get the same thrill from creation is when you’ve found a good headspace

What is a year of life worth? What about a day?

how do you messeaure a year? listen im rent trash. It’s all about love, and that includes self-love. If u dont have love (not necessarily happiness, but love), then nothing is really worth anything. 

Are emotions necessary for human survival

from my own experience, no. you can function perfectly fine when you dont feel anything ever, emotions just makes living so much more purposeful. 

What is the TLDR version of your life?

a mess trying sort out their brain

What should they teach in high school but don’t?

how to adult. finding a place to live, how to pay rent/find good internet/your options besides going to university. 

What inscription do you want on your gravestone?

idk if im gonna have one, i want to be buried in one of those urns that grows into trees, so hopefully i’ll be in a forrest. i havent really thought abt a hypothetical gravestone tbh

If you had thirty seconds to send a message to the entire world, what would you say?

we have to be better than we are right now - please try to remember that everyone is human, and deserve support, respect and basic human rights, even if and when it impacts those more privileged. 

If you could ask a single person a question, and they had to answer truthfully, who and what would it be?

listen i dont know  either one of those  but  do want to know if aliens exists. 

What is honor and does it matter?

idk, i think honor can often lead to stubbornness 

Do you see yourself as the hero or the villain in your story?

Is being open-minded a virtue if it allows destructive ideas to spread through society?

hmmm i think u just need to be open minded in the form of being accepting of others, and trying to show respect in your interactions and disagreements 

What questions would you ask your future self?

Was it all worth it? Did you have a good life? got any tips on how to make us happy?

@psych2go

stardom is the worst

hello i used to be a topp dogg fan in korea and i have a lot of sources for information, i don’t want to out ppl who helped me or stuff i overheard but if u use ur mind i’m sure u can put it all together yourselves.

im just really sick of stardom’s shit.  this really is maybe the worst ent company in korea and because td members are stuck there they dont get an opportunity to showcase themselves, they’re constantly stuck with the “nugu” label and i guess watching yano and kidoh be not only swept away but spat on by former stardom trash themselves i have had it up to here with their shit.  yes it is worse than you think it is, even if you already think its bad.  i tried to highlight the real red flags instead of just the general side eyeish nugu fare like pimping the members out on dates with fans and seogoong and the whole under dogg thing so yea those also happened but the things im gonna talk about are like driving down the wrong side of the highway concerns that truthfully scare me

i was inspired to write this not just by mino on smtm, former stardom trash who now seems to think he’s better than people stuck behind the bullet he dodged so shoutout to mino…u piece of shit… , i was also inspired by the ticket sales for their european tour leg which is in dire straits.  i am so sorry if this hurts their fans or hurts the boys although it really shouldn’t, i hope exposing how shitty stardom is panders for sympathy and ends up helping them.  no one from stardom is explaining anything to anyone so maybe its time for me to share what i know..

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anonymous asked:

narry 31!😍

31. prostitute/client au

The best part of Niall’s job, by far, is seeing one of his clients in public. 

Even though his job doesn’t exactly have a title, he’s been called everything from an escort, to a companion, to an outright prostitute. He doesn’t like to think of himself in those terms but, for lack of a better way to put it, he’s just a guy who has sex with people for money. 

So, seeing people who’ve been his clients in the past is always funny. The vast majority of them just flush red with thoughts of what they’ve had Niall do, and then either pretend he doesn’t exist or simply rush away, but others sometimes chat him up, trying for a quickie or a free pass. No surprise it never works. 

This, though, has never quite happened before. 

See, Niall is just in the grocery store getting some things off his weekly list like any other human being when, while considering the differences between two aubergines, he hears a choking noise behind him. 

Just as any concerned citizen should do, Niall turns around. He doesn’t expect one of his best clients, and by far his favourite client, to be standing just a few feet behind him, gawking at him with wide eyes. 

Harry is one of his favourites, least of all because he likes their meetings to be like almost-dates, where they hang out and see where things go. Sometimes they don’t even have sex; they just make-out a lot until Harry’s time is up. Sometimes Niall has a problem differentiating reality with fiction.

Now though, Niall raises his hand in a halfway wave, and takes a step closer to Harry, “Hey, fancy meeting you here.”

Harry doesn’t answer. He does let out a squeak and his hands go white-tight on his handlebars, and Niall swallows down a groan. It’s going to be one of those

But then Harry rubs a hand roughly at the back of his head like he’s shaking himself free of his stupor and he puts a sheepish smile on his lips. “Yeah. Sorry. Hey.” Three short bursts of words and then Harry’s ducking his chin into his chest and his brow is going furrowed like it does when he’s either frustrated or about to come.

Either way, Niall distracts him, leaning over and peering into his basket. It’s irritatingly ordinary. “Fruit Loops, eh?” He looks back up and grins. “I would’ve taken you for a Cheerios person.”

Harry seems to settle at the neutral topic, smiling softly, “Fruit Loops are just like colourful Cheerios, so it’s a win-win.” And then he steps closer, looking into Niall’s cart. “And, let me guess. You’re a Weetabix kinda guy?”

Niall doesn’t have cereal today but he laughs anyway, “Try Count Chocula.” They lapse into a nice silence and it’s like another day when they’re just hanging out, trying to see where the day goes. Niall wants to step close and pull Harry in for a slow kiss, and he’s not allowed to do that. “I should probably get going,” Niall gestures over his shoulder, “but it was nice to see you.”

“You too.” Harry’s smile wilts a little and Niall turns away before he tries to make it better. He really shouldn’t. But then, Harry calls after him before he can go too far, “Do you have any meetings today?” 

“No,” Niall says instantly, almost too fast, but he never meets with clients on Sunday and he wants Harry to know that. “It’s my day off.” He pauses, but then just to satisfy that little question inside of him, he asks, “Why?” 

“I was just wondering,” Harry steps closer, his head dipped shyly. “Do you, maybe, want to go for coffee?”

And that had been what Niall had been hoping for, and at the same time dreading. He shouldn’t blur the lines around his work and doing this with Harry surely won’t lead anywhere good but, maybe one time, maybe just this once. “I really shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.” Niall says, but a grin blooms on his lips and he beckons Harry with a tilt of his head.

“And which one is this?” Harry steps right up to Niall, within arms’ reach, and Niall gives into his urge to pull Harry in for a kiss, the faint press of their mouths, the way Harry lets out a soft noise and breathes gently against Niall’s face. 

Pleasure,” Niall says, moans more like despite the fact that they’re in public. He doesn’t care. Because, if his job is business, than this, right now with Harry, would be absolute bliss. 

You made your bed, go right ahead and lay in it.

Request : Can you also write Draeden fic about braeden and derek getting into a Huge fight but ending in makeup sex(shower make up sex)? Thanks You!

Pairing: Braeden/Derek

Request: Yes (By the lovely jojosweety )

Rating: R

Word count : 932

………………………………………………..

Braeden and Derek we’re on the couch, sitting in a comfortable silence before Derek’s mind started to wander.

 "I think you should stop working in Mexico.“ He said, interlocking their fingers together.

"And why is that?” She looked up at him.

“They almost killed me. Why is this even a question? If someone tried to kill you, I’d kill them. Not fucking work for them.” He said, getting a little upset.

“Why is it such a big deal, the Calaveras and I have an agreement. They don’t touch you or Scott’s pack and I kill anyone else they want dead.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“So that’s it? It doesn’t matter whose life you take, as long as you get paid for it?” He questioned, kind of shocked.

“You knew what I do for a living, when you met me.” She said, releasing her fingers along with releasing herself from his grip.

She got up, and walked the kitchen, searching for something to drink.

“I can take care of you. You know that.”

“I don’t want to be taken care of. I don’t depend on anyone for money.”

“Braeden, money isn’t a problem. Trust me.”

“Stop killing people. We aren’t murde-”

“Oh please. Save the bullshit Derek. Don’t pretend that we’re the same.”

“It’s not bullshit, you kill people for money and it’s fucking disgusting.” He said getting up.

“I’m not quitting.” She said, sipping her glass of wine.

“Wow, I guess I love you more than you love me.” He told her, getting up from the couch.

“You are such a fucking child.” She mumbled.

“And you’re a fucking money hungry bi-”

“DONT YOU DARE.” She yelled.

“YOU DONT OWN ME” Derek yelled back.

“OH GIVE ME A BREAK DEREK. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF.” She screamed.

“ME? IM THE SELFISH ONE? OH REALLY?” He questioned.

“YOU KILL TO MAKE MONEY.” He shouted.

“YOU KNEW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WE’RE GETTING INTO WHEN YOU MET ME. YOU MADE YOU BED SO FUCKING LAY IN IT.” She screamed.

It was quiet for about twenty seconds. Twenty seconds of silence, just waiting to be broke.

 Braeden looked at her lipstick stained, wine glass and threw it, aiming for Derek's head. Luckily  he turned around just in time, catching the glass with his hand.

His eyes flickered to a fiery yellow and he was inches away from her face in the matter of seconds.

“I hate you.” She said coldly.

“I hate you more.” He matched her tone, picking her up by her hips and smashing his lips on hers.

 She pushed him off her, breathless from the kiss.

He waited a minute for her next move before she ran towards him and slapped his face.

His eyes turned the fiery yellow again, his heart racing. Derek slammed her against the wall and lifted her thigh, tracing her her exposed waist.

Braeden’s breath hitched when he pressed his forehead to hers. As soon as she thought he had calmed down for her slapping him, he punched the space right next to her face. The hard wall gave in underneath the power of his fist.

“Are we gonna stand here forever or are you gonna fuck me like you hate me?” She gave him a half smirk.

Still pressed against her, he reached down with both hands in between their bodies to grip her shirt. He ripped the clothing apart as if it was nothing.

He proceeded to break her bra in half, immeadiately going to her swollen breasts, sucking the skin roughly.

 "Oh you can do better than that.“ She said.

He then ripped her jeans off. Taking his erection out of his pants and pushing her thong to the side.

He entered her and didnt wait for her to adjust. One leg on his shoulder, the other trying to support herself as he thrusted in and out.

"You’re a piece of shit, you know that?” She asked him as he continued to pump.

With those words he completely pulled out of her.

“You bastard.” She punched his chest.

He walked away from her, heading towards the bathroom, taking off his shirt and jeans.

“Derek Hale, if you dont finished what you fucking started.” She followed him.

“So help m-” She started, before he gripped her neck, semi-gently.

“Like I said.” He turned on the shower.

“YOU, dont own me.” He said, emphasizing on the word ‘you’.

“Get in.” He said, motioning to the shower.

She was undecided and almost didnt do it, until he let out a loud growl.

She got in and began pulling her thong down.

“Leave it on.” He demanded.

“Okay.” She said with an attitude.

“Drop the attitude, and it’s sir to you.” He told her.

“Yes sir.” She said, getting in.

He put her hands on the wall and proceeded to eat her out.

“Oh my Go- DEREK.” She said, squirting in his mouth.

“Did I say you could talk?” He asked.

“No.” She said.

“No what?” He asked.

“No sir.” She whined.

He spread her legs and shoved himself inside of her. She screamed as he quickened his pace.

“Cum for me. Now.” He demanded.

“Yes sir.” She moaned.

Once she climaxed, he reached his peak as well and soon came after her.

Once they both calmed down, he turned the shower off and followed her to the bedroom.

“I’m still mad at you." She told him laying down on the bed.

"Same." He smiled, laying down with her and becoming the big spoon.

 "I love you though.” She said kissing his lips.

“Same.” He told her.

……………………………………………….

A/N : Hope you all enjoyed this ! Sorry I kind of suck at smuts, keep the requests coming though, I love feedback btw xx

You can find my masterlist here ——-> http://5soslooks-soperfect.tumblr.com/writings

ye great big homestuck story post

see like, i wasn’t gonna do this post because im a weird hipster who hates doing stuff everyone else is doing but then @imbirds did one and i mean you’re kind of an asshole if you don’t do one after your fiance writes one and mentions you so 
this is kind of part homestuck and part cosplay in general
so im in 4th year uni right now, actually, about ending my 4th year, and you know what? to this day, i haven’t made a single close friend in ubc at all. all the friends that ive made that i talk to regularly have been because of this fucking comic. like, i literally have a fiance because of this fucking comic.
back in 2013, i was in my first year of university, living with my dog, just having come out as trans after getting out of my mom’s house. 2013 june, which is when i first went into homestuck, i had literally spent an entire year of my life cooped up in my tiny on-campus apartment, with my dog and my then cat, in a situation where i could honest to god go weeks without speaking a single word, because i never left the house, i never spoke to anyone but my friends from highschool alex and lee, who would come over to visit me. i would go to class, come home, occasionally buy groceries, and walk my dog. the only interaction with people was from the dog park which i went to often with rydge, and then never spoke to the other dog people other than talking directly to their dogs. just to give you a kind of idea of exactly how isolated i was. 

honestly, i wasn’t even intending to go to ae 2013, where i first encountered vanstuck. after meeting my ex at fanexpo earlier that same year, and going through the abusive truck drive that bullshit was, i had no intentions of going to more conventions, since i wasn’t good at cosplaying, and i had no money. but my sister, who my mom sent to me for the summer, wanted me to cosplay karkat, i think for her jade blog, or something, and karkat looked easy enough, plus, this kid was literally me in middle school, angry, small, shouty, with equally sentient hair. so i slapped on some gray paint and roughly made some horns. i made my first clawsickle too, that i ended up giving away at tsukinocon 2014 in a homestuck panel, because i wasn’t good at much but i was decent at props. on friday of ae, my social anxiety was so bad i was pretty much having anxiety attacks the entire day. people complimented me on my clawsickle and other homestucks smiled at me because i was also homestuck and after a year of isolation that was clearly TOO MUCH SOCIAL INTERACTION but also it was amazing and awesome?? vanstuck ended up being the first place i actually came out as trans and found nothing but acceptance. i stayed up all night that friday night sewing a godtier because all i wanted to have was for someone to want a picture of my cosplay, and at the time, the godtiers looked so cool and i wanted to be a part of that too. i mean, obviously, on saturday, the godtier group wasn’t there, but you know what i did meet @imbirds, who did trickster john on friday and i briefly talked to, and godtier dave on saturday. i thought he was so fucking cool. i thought everyone was so fucking cool and i couldn’t believe they were actually talking to me and that these people actually liked the bullshit cosplay that i managed to pull together. 

like look at that shit. you see that? that was my first sewn cosplay, it was just the cape and i handsewed it on friday night for 8 hours with lee and my sister’s help, because i wanted that badly to be included. literally none of that is sewn right, the hood is entirely bullshit and tears, that’s my actual hair but not cut short enough for karkat, there’s ben nye everywhere because someone told me i just needed sealer and not powder too and my clawsickle was made of 2lbs of model magic, not even fully dried, because even in 2013 as a wee bab homestuck i wanted desperately to stand out and be acknowledged in some form. that’s the fucking bullshit @imbirds met me in and still thought, wow, that’s a person i would like to get to know. 

but you know what? ive never gotten more compliments on my cosplay before vanstuck. vanstuck was honestly just– like, i remember coming back home to my apartment and ranting to alex and stuff about how it was literally the most amazing thing ever. that the people were so friendly and accepting and encouraging and there were picnics and events and just. ive been in a lot of fandoms. ive been in fandoms before some of my friends were sentient human beings. and homestuck was and still is the first fandom ever, where people would walk around, SEE OTHER HOMESTUCKS THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW and just invite them!! to events! like the photoshoot! Panels! fucking picnics!! how do i even describe what that felt like to a kid who just came out, still untreated with depression and anxiety and a host of other bullshit who hasnt made a single friend all year? there was something magical about those days that i realized now ive been trying to get back and i just cant find it, either because im never going to be that awkward 18 year old again or just that vanstuck was honestly such an amazing organized group and nothing like that is ever going to exist again for me. 

like, prior to homestuck, i did three cosplays, none of which i made, and none of the fandoms of whom ever, ever actually included me, because i was young, 14ish when i went to my first con, and had no idea how to put together a cosplay. you wanna see my shit now?

those are from last year. thats a fancytier and a godtier

the militarystuck karkat in the centre, that’s the third ever homestuck cosplay i made in 2013 summer, for C&E. i didn’t end up getting boots or pants because i ran out of money, nothing was sewn right, as usual, like, i dont even think i planned on ever making that, because it seemed impossible, but this fucking. there was literaly just this militarystuck group that didnt have a karkat and i asked if i could join and they didnt know who the fuck i was and they just. said yes??

that’s militarystuck also from a year ago. but like, just…
i never planned on getting into cosplay. my day used to be MADE just with someone recognizing who i was, three years ago. 

ballgown dreamer karkat, in 2013, i made that because i started getting?? recognition?? for?? cosplay?? like that’s fucking amazing. people LIKED the shit i made. people thought i was GOOD AT THINGS. ive literally NEVER been good at anything in my life before homestuck.

dreamers in 2015 emerald city comic con with @imbirds whom basically since we’ve met ive been doing everything with. 

idk i know this post is getting really off track but like. i just. dont know where i’d be if i never got into homestuck? i met so many amazing people though it, i didn’t fucking kill myself because i had COSPLAYS TO DO and people would LIKE MY COSPLAYS and thats?? incredible?? and tbh im so glad that the fandom i went to, that vanstuck was so, so welcoming because i would have never ever gotten to the level i am now with cosplay if the fandom had genuinely been shit and had torn me down. i wouldve never gotten to where i am now where im actually happy with my life, where i have things to look forward to, where i can fucking make cosplay plans for 5 years later because im actually going to live to five years later because i want to live to five years later and ten years later and fifty years later and i hope im this tiny old man screaming at kids on my lawn and still reminiscing about 2013 when some kid gave me a granola bar and now we’re married and someone told me hey i like what you do for the first time in my life.

the last two are from a week ago, emerald city comic con 2016. look at me. look how far ive come. 
just
fucking
i know there’s shit homestucks and the fandom is problematic like any other big fandom and you can hate the comic and hate the fans all you want but tbh i’d be dead if i didn’t decide to slap on gray paint that friday of ae 2013 and dragged my ass to the con. because that was honestly the starting point of basically everything good in my life

LARGEST SUBMISSION YET

My friend like to mess around on boats, but he goes overboard sometimes.

Quasimodo. That name rings a bell.

Albino. You can’t say fairer than that.

You’ve got to take your hat off to hair-dressers.

You’ve got to hand it to muggers…

I’ve just got a job as a waiter. It doesn’t pay very well, but I put food on the table.

Just got a job as a postman.
Money’s shit, but it keeps me off the streets.

I’ve been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes.
Things are looking up.

I’ve applied to work at a mirror shop. I hope I get it, I can really see myself working there.

I’ve decided to break up with my blow up doll. I’m going to let her down gently.

I know a lot of jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads.

My new book I wrote on Poltergeists is flying off the shelves.

I fell asleep on a dingy.
I just drifted off.

I once knew a farmer who did heroin, but he was never caught. The police said that proving it would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

Stampedes…. if you don’t stand up for yourself, they’ll walk all over you.

I’ve been scratching my head all day trying to figure out how I managed to get head lice.

I threw out my hoover last week.
It was just gathering dust.

I dont own a telescope, but its something Im thinking of looking into.

Due to inflation, balloons are going up.

Me and my best friend reverse our cars everywhere together.
We go back a long way.

I could talk about asphyxiation till I’m blue in the face.

Since starting my new gardening tool business I’ve been raking it in.

Grandma’s always up for a laugh, so for a bit of a practical joke, I put her walking stick out of her reach…
I just can’t believe she fell for it.

I’ve just returned from outer space. I took a book to read while I was up there.
I couldn’t put it down.

I was masturbating the other day when I heard someone scream for help.
I came as fast as I could

This morning I was woken up by an ice cream van outside my house. I opened my window and told him to fuck off.
He quickly changed his tune.

I always win at Twister, hands Down

My mate was raising money for charity and told me he’d entered me in the 1500m.
I nearly ran a mile.

Dont tease fat kids, they already have enough on their plate.

So what if I can’t spell armaggedon? It’s not the end of the world.

I got a new roof fitted for free the other day.
It’s on the house.

If you can’t decide whether to run in the marathon or the hundred metres you should probably choose the marathon.
You’ll be better off in the long run.

An annoying man asked me for directions the other day.
I told him where to go.

I conducted an orchestra the other day.
It’s more fun than you can shake a stick at.

Hollywood.
It’s made a huge name for itself.

I can’t sleep much lately. I have to lie on the edge of the bed, that way I soon drop off.

I’d bend over backwards to win a Limbo competition.

A train drivers job is very straight forward.

I used to be best friends with my acupuncturist.
But he stabbed me in the back.

When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming.
It’s a real icebreaker.

You have to admire Giraffe’s…
No matter what, they always walk around with their heads held high.

Ban land mines now!
It’s time to put our foot down.

Sex in a hammock.
It rocks.

I don’t like crematoriums.
They really make my blood boil.

I’ve written a book on how to cut onions.
Read it and weep…

Ever since I took the rear view mirror out of the car…..I’ve never looked back

I’m an easy target for muggers.
Take it from me.

I’m a pretty good Ventriloquist.
Even though I say so myself.

My buddy said he’d love to work in a shipyard.
Whatever floats your boat…

Dissection is a topic that tends to split people down the middle.

I met a skydiver yesterday.
He was very down to earth.

Domestic violence is a bit of a hit in my house.

Hands up if you like armed robbers.

Obesity is a big problem.

I see things are looking up for astronomers.

I find switches a real turn on.

I told a girl I could read her mind just to get her into bed and she believed me.
What was she thinking?

Hot air balloon theft.
It’s on the rise.

Athletics is ok, but I think the Pole vault is a bit over the top

I used to be a spy until someone came at me with a hairdryer while I was in bed.
They blew my cover.

If you have any gloves you dont want, I’ll take them off your hands.

I’ve just built a working catapult.
It’s disguised as a chair, so it tends to throw a lot of people.

I hear the local blind shooting school is doing well.
The members have shot up.

I was going to by some slippers today, but then I got cold feet.

Not wearing seat belts is the way forward.

I turned down a job to work in a coal mine.
It’s beneath me.

When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart.

My dad was in the army, his job was to clear minefields.
He always wanted me to follow in his footsteps.

I’m watching Benjamin Button again.
Never gets old.

I’ve just started reading a book about Fort Knox, but I’m finding it really hard to get into.

I turned up at a fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out.

I’ve just written a play about someone who drives into a theatre.
It’s going to be a box office smash.

I stole from the bakery this morning.
It was a piece of cake.

I recently took up weightlifting.
I’m off to a slow start, but I’m sure I’ll pick it up eventually.

If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily.

Personally, I would never go to see the Eiffel Tower in cloudy weather.
I can’t see the point.

Raping male cows is fucking bullshit.

For Sale: Thick layer of dust.
As seen on TV.

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
It’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.

I’ve been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I’m an airport building.
Hope it’s not terminal.

I decided to write a joke about restraining orders.
This is the closest I could get.

“Doctor I’m shrinking!”
“Well you just have to be a little patient.”

A friend of mine has 3 legs.
He’s always one step ahead of me.

If that guy at work takes my desk fan again I’m going to lose my cool.

You want to be the world’s worst boxer?
Knock yourself out.

My friend asked if he could borrow my boxing gloves.
I said “sure knock yourself out”.

I was doing an impression of a girl who got abducted, but I got a bit carried away….

Nobody is to inadvertently give me any tips on how to turn invisible.
Do I make myself clear?

I’ve got loads of jokes about undelivered letters.
But people just don’t get them.

My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.
If only they could see me now…

Oral sex is a in-your-face topic.

I bought an umbrella and decided not to use it.
I thought I’d save it for a rainy day.

My buddy has invented a new hobby called “blindfold plane watching”.
Can’t see it taking off.

Getting paid to sleep is my dream job.

My job at the cement factory seems to get harder and harder.

River jokes are too mainstream.

Scarecrows are outstanding in their field, but hay, it’s in their jeans.

I wanted to become a watchmaker, but I just couldn’t make time.

I opened a pet shop selling exotic birds.
They’re flying off the shelves.

Never become friends with a serial killer.
He’ll stab you in the back.

I was taking a risk opening a butchers shop on the Empire State building.
The stakes were high.

Do you know what I know about Dwarfs?
Very little.

My doctor says with a bit of patience he can cure my blindness.
I’ll have to wait and see.

I love balloons.
I keep tying them to myself, but now I think I’m getting carried away.

Why do midgets make bad parents? Because they struggle to put food on the table.

After months of unemployment I got accepted for training to become a hot air balloon pilot.
I’m going up in the world.

How do you stay cool at a football game?
Stand close to a fan.

The carpenter came round the other day.
He made the best entrance I’ve ever seen.

I do not have an obsession with tidiness.
I just wanted to clear that up.
1950nevil


OKAY WOW, THOSE ARE A LOT OF PUNS!

I’m sorry for the late response, I had to get on a computer to publish this (fan mail is a bit more tricky to post)

Thank you, everyone for being awesome! Hope you enjoyed pun-day Sunday

Who -A can and can't be and why:
  1. Spencer Hastings; Her life has been traumatised by -A for the last few years, she has received threats from -A while alone.
  2. Hanna Marin: Her life has been traumatised by -A for the last few years, she has received threats from -A while alone.
  3. Aria Montgomery: Her life has been traumatised by -A for the last few years, she has received threats from -A while alone. (I know there are lots of clues pointing to Aria, but I really don’t think she can be A)
  4. Emily Fields: Her life has been traumatised by -A for the last few years, she has received threats from -A while alone.
  5. Alison DiLaurentis: I know many people are against ali, but like the girls, her life, more than theirs has been turned upside down by -A, come on shes in prison, plus shes been getting creepy -A messages while alone so…
  6. Ezra Fitz: He has already been in a reveal, and it was only for his book, i know hes fishy but i dont think they would reveal the same person twice. Plus hes kinda faded out recently.
  7. Toby Cavanaugh: Like Ezra hes already been in a reveal, and i really think the only reason hes distancing himself from the girls like he said is so he dosent give Tanner probable cause.
  8. Caleb Rivers: I know hes good at hacking computers but I think hes helped the girls too much to be -A, plus -A was in the pilot and he didnt arrive till later in the show.
  9. Veronica Hastings: She wants too much for Spencer to succeed, i doubt she would do everything in her power to ruin Spencers chances of University, it means too much for her
  10. Peter Hastings: Hes given up too much to protect Spencer, i doubt he would be the one torturing her
  11. Ashley Marin: -A has no shortage of money, enough said.
  12. Tom Marin: Wants to be as far away from hanna and rosewood as possible, doubt he would waste his days stuck there only to hurt his daughter, plus hes too absorbed with his new and better family
  13. Ella Montgomery: If she was -A she would have known about Byrons affair.  Plus she would have known about Aria and Ezra wayyy sooner.
  14. Byron Montgomery: If he was -A he wouldnt have sent Ella the letter telling her about the affair and thus ruining their marriage. Plus he would have known about Aria and Ezra wayyy sooner.
  15. Mike Montgomery: I believe him. Also i know he loves his sister and wouldnt want to harm her, and he was so pissed when he found out about Aria and ezra but -A already knew.
  16. Pam Fieds: Doubt Pam would run over her own daughter and therefore stop her from swimming which is what she wanted Emily to do, also she would have known Emily was a Lesbian.
  17. Wayne Fields: As is he has time for that wile fighting abroad to protect his country.
  18. Kenneth Dilaurentis: -A knew ali was alive, Kenneths face when he thought ali had been raped when she was kidnapped was enough to convince me. snaps for Jim Abele for great acting!
  19. Jenna Marshall: Jenna has had her fair share of -A crap, and although she was so hurt by Alison i doubt shes -A remember -A hit her over the head and she almost drowned in a lake.
  20. Lucas Gottesman: the dance with hanna, not something -A would do themself.
  21. Noel Kahn: he knew where ali was, if he was -A he never would have helped her.
  22. Holbrook: Lost his job helping ali
  23. Jake: why would he put knifes in his own kickboxing equipment then kick it when he was alone, not in pilot
  24. Travis: Risked alot to save Ashley from prison, not in pilot
  25. Tanner: Fishy but i think shes just doing her job
  26. Sean Ackard: dont really have a reason why, i guess hes just not a big enough character
  27. Ted: would have known about Ashley and Jason
  28. Dr Sullivan: Threatened by -A, not in pilot
  29. Jackie Molina: would never have let Aria into college
  30. Talia Sandoval: Not in pilot
  31. Sydney Driscol: Maybe on -A team but cant be -A not in Pilot, i think shes only trying to protect jenna
  32. Jonny Raymond: Poor, got arrested, no idea how to pick locks or break into places, not in pilot
  33. Holden Stratuss: non in pilot, his only secret was he wanted to do those karate tornaments, 
  34. Eddie Lamb: helped the girls, not in pilot
  35. Maggie Cutler: would have known about Aria, not in pilot
  36. Malcom Cutler: hes like 6
  37. Kate Randall: Bitch but not -A, not in pilot
  38. Alex Santiego: relationship with spencer ruined, not in pilot
  39. Zack: only a cheat, not in pilot
  40. Samara Cook: not in pilot, 
  41. Clara Grunwald: she pulled ali out the ground
  42. Wesley Firzgerald; too beautiful, not in pilot
  43. Leona Vanderwall: like she would kill her own daughter
  44. Dianne FG: not in pilot
  45. Big Rohnda: not in pilot
  46. Clair: not in pilot although i think shes fishy
  47. Sarah Harvey: i think shes the one who was burried not bethany
  48. Ian Thomas: Dead
  49. Jessica Dilaurentis: Dead
  50. Garrett Reynolds: Dead
  51. Shana Fring: Dead
  52. Nate St.Germain/ Lyndon James : Dead
  53. Darren Wildon: Dead, he was way to stupid to be -A
  54. EDIT: Jason Dilaurentis so i originally put Jason on the -A list but after he spoke up in court i dont think he is 

Who Could be -A

  1. Bethany Young/ Lesli: I think these two are the same person are are my number one -A suspect.
  2. Mona Vanderwall: I love mona, and i really hope that she isnt dead but she is too clever for her own good, she may have told Mike that story knowing he would tell eventually, idk shes still fishy in my eyes, what a strange gift to give your bf anyway, a tube of your blood, way to make him look suspicious
  3. Paige Mcullers: Ive never liked Paige, theres always been something off about her, plus shes really shady
  4. Maya St. Germain: i dont think shes dead, her death scene had too many links to alis body being found and we all know what happened there. she lived in alis house, had access to all her diaries. 
  5. Wren Kim: Nosey bitches die? hes in london could have easily slipped the blood into spencers bag, he had access to all Monas files when she was in Radley.
  6. Cece Drake: Im not sure if she is actually -A but im almost 100% shes a double agent
  7. Andrew Campbell: i think hes Varjak
  8. Meredith Sorenson: Shady, would have wanted ella to find out about the affair, she drugged aria, and for some unexplained reason wanted alis diary pages.
4. - I'm Never Sour, I'm Just Smokin Something Much Louder.

Malakai

Sitting on the edge of my bed, my back began to hurt due to the fact I had been hunched over with my face in my hands for the past 2 hours. Reluctantly, I lifted my head and straighten my spine, not without hearing a round of bones cracking that filled the silent room. My eyes instantly landed on my bedside table and I was subconsciously shaking my head at my alarm clock which was taunting me as it flashed 3:45 AM.

Peeling my eyes from the clock, they moved towards the window that had my curtains permanently drawn and showed me a view of the distant city. Despite the fact that it was in the middle of the night, lights flashed and lit the night sky and not a single star was present up above. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips and I tried to think back to the last time I had a proper nights sleep. When I came up blank, my bitter chuckles filled the room and I roughly stood up off the bed and began pacing the room. 

Keep reading

Hate It or Love It || Nate Maloley imagine || part 2

This was requested a few times and I wanted to finish it so here you go, hope you enjoy! Have you read part 1?

Hate it or Love it 

    Nate and I made it out of the school without any problems, teachers didn’t seem to give us a second glance. “It feels so nice to be out of there.” I said making note of the beautiful weather “You can say that again princess.” Nate said “Nate stop fucking calling me that, how many more times do I have to tell you that.” I said frustrated “Im going to keep calling you that so I guess you could keep telling me to stop if it makes you feel better but its not going to do anything.” Nate said with his signature smirk “Your impossible I swear” I said.

    “Where are we going?” I asked Nate “You wanna go to the mall?” He asked “Id love to because I do need some tops, but im broke.” I said shielding the sun from my eyes “Ill buy you everything that you want baby.” Nate said throwing an arm over my shoulder. Normally I would be revolted that Nate was even touching me, but now it didnt bother me that much.

     “How are we getting to the mall?” I asked Nate his eyebrows scrunched together “I actualy didnt think that far ahead.” He said, I laughed at that “Did you know how hard it is to make you laugh Nymeria?” He said matter of factly “No I didnt actually, thank you for the new information about myself.” I sassed back, me and Nate walked all the way to his house which was only half an hour away from school (walking) and my house was only 4 doors down from his. 

     “You have a car?” I asked amazed that his dumb ass could pass the drivers test “Yeah how do you think me and Sam get to all of our parties.” He said opening his door, I got into the passengers seat to his Honda “Oh shit Nate I feel bad I dont even have enough money to pay you for gas.” I said feeling like shit “Nymeria, baby calm down its all good I got you.” He said putting his hand on my thigh. I jumped a bit at his sudden outburst of affection but then I thought to myself, “Why am I not repulsed by this?” The whole situation was weird I was hanging out with one of the people that I hated the most and he was touching me and I didnt want to flip out on him and cut his hands off.

     Was it possible that I was starting to like Nate? Of all people Nate, I mean for fucks sake Nate! I was disgusted with myself and I couldnt belive that I was falling for such a dickhead but at the same time Nate was kind of cute I mean he was muscular and I had always had a thing for dimples.

     Nate started to rub circles with his thumb into my thigh sending chills through my body “Dont hate me anymore do you baby?” He said with his signature dimpled smirk “I dont know im still thinking about it.” I said trying not to moan as his hand got higher and higher meeting the hem of my shorts. 10 minutes later Nate and I got to the mall “Goddamn there are a lot of mother fuckers here.” I said making note of all the cars in the parking lot of our normally not so busy mall.

     “You said something about tops right? But you have like a million tops how could you need anymore?” He asked looking confused “Okay first of all a girl can never have enough tops and yes I would like some more but I dont need you to buy them for me.” I said “Okay then dont say I didnt offer then.” He said grabbing my hand and dragging me through the food court to Zumiez “I need to get some new wheels for my petty board and I need some new vans, then we can leave or get some food.” Nate said looking for Zumiez.

     He brought me into the store, we walked to the back and looked at the different wheels on display “Im going to look at the sweatshirts” I said walking away from him and looking at the racks of sweatshirts. I saw one that I liked and grabbed it and folded it over my arm, then two warm arms came up from behind me and grabbed me “Find something you like?” Nate asked I nodded my head and smiled he grabbed my hand and paid for our items. “Nate you know you didnt have to do that, ill pay you back once I get my money.” I said “No, your not doing that and do you want to go home or get some food?” He said in a hurry to change the subject “Home is good” I said.

     I couldnt believe that this morning I couldnt stand Nate but now I was starting to fall for him and his stupid ass. It was hard for me to give up my pride and to admit to myself that I was falling for him but I really was falling for him hate it or love it I really was.

Want to read more of my writing well heres my Masterlist! Love you guys, requests for imagines are still open!

     

anonymous asked:

this is gonna sound weird and awful but like. ive been having a really rough time feeling confident with my cosplays and my souda cosplay is my best one. one of my favorite cosplayers besides you guys keeps cosplaying all of my characters and being way better than me so ive given up on most of them. i just want to be the best souda because he means the world to me and im actually crying right now becaus i dont know what to do if you cosplay souda. you will be so much better than me,,,,

— (souda anon) and please dont try and say some sort of encouraging thing to me because i have literally already dedicated 2 years and over $200 to this cosplay and it is my dream to at least be the best souda cosplayer. im not popular thought and im young and short and u know if you do it you will be better and ive just worked so hatd”

——

Wow anon, that’s a heavy thing to send us. And I’m not really sure what to say to you.

You do realize your asking us to not cosplay something so you can feel better, right? Sweet anon, that’s not any way to help your confidence. 

I really want to send you words of encouragement but I can’t tell you we aren’t going to cosplay something simply because you asked us. Your making me feel really terrible here! But you gotta know and understand that cosplaying is for everyone. Everyone, literally everyone should be free to cosplay what they want regardless of others. 

How would it be if we asked other cosplayers not to do certain characters because we were worried they would be better than us?

As cosplayers, we may not all be on the same skill level but we should have all the same rights. 

That being said, I know nothing I can say will ever make you feel better but things like this (unfair things) happen to us in life so we can grow. 

When I first started cosplaying I wanted to be the best Shirley, the best Orhime, the best etc. etc. And for years I went through terrible self doubt and hate about my costumes. 

I still do. 

I hate my Elsa, it’s terrible, I am way too dark skinned to be elsa and yet not dark skinned enough to be a good Korra. But deterring others from being Elsa or Korra would never fix those insecurities, never. 

Every costume I’ve made could be better. Most of my costumes fall apart the day after their worn. I don’t take my time, I’m not as meticulous as I could be. I don’t think I have one costume under my belt that I look at and am truly 100% happy with. Some of them I hate so much, I don’t even like remembering I made them (elsa, jack, append miku)

I know you probably want to hear nothing from me, but at least let me tell you my rule about comparing yourselves to others. I’m not going to tell you not to, because we all do — its natural. 

But don’t just compare your work, your cosplays, to theirs. Compare everything else too. 

Compare your age, your experience, your resources, your time, your money — everything else to them to. Because chances are they might be older, more experience, more connected, more flexible, or more financially stable than you in some way that gets them to their (in your eyes) better results. 

I’m used to crush myself under the weight of other cosplayers and their amazing work until I realized — of course their craftsmanship is better, they are a trained seamstress of over 5 years. Of course they make cleaner props, they have their own table saw and have tons of experience working in a car shop learning fiberglass.

Talent is not something pulled from thin air that some people have better than you do — its something thats accumulated through time, experience, and situations.

I’m not trying to tell you we, or I, am better off or anything like that. I’m just trying to help you not think this way because it hurts you so much more than you deserve. 

Your a cosplayer — you can only be a better cosplayer by cosplaying more. You only get better at something by continuing to do it and learning from every single project. 

I’m so sorry we made you feel this way, and I hope and pray that we aren’t the cause that makes you stop cosplaying. 

Know that there will always be more characters, more cosplays, more chances to be the best. 

And have a little reminder that sometimes being the best isn’t the funnest or greatest thing either. Sometimes its accomplishing something for yourself, or having fun connecting with friends in the process. 

I’m not sure what else to say, I’m so sorry anon.

Confession

people piss me the fuck off
I’m tired of having shitty friends, yes i said it, SHITTY FRIENDS.
I’m sorry but some of them have the audacity to ignore me and also there’s one who’s constantly rude with me, and like i used to be in a group chat ( lol only one because people dont add me to their group chat, i’m not cool enough ) and i was tired of being in this group chat because all they posted was fucking memes and some of them are even antiblack ( “ don’t worrry! Im not racist ! It’s a just jokes), so i decided to leave the group and when a girl leave the group, we usually go inbox her and tell her if she okay, we usually “re-put” in the group chat, but me ….when i left this annoying group chat no one inbox me and ask me if i was okay, maybe it’s a small thing for you all but for me it says a lot. 
People are just so fake, that’s why imma end up alone, with no friends or love-friend or wtv, because i can’t trust humans( idc about animals lol ), it’s bullshit when people tell you to be yourself , because when you’re yourself they just reject and ignore you… And ugh, im kinda of an activist online ( i try to be activist offline more as i can BUT it’s not easy shit when no one talk to you or listen to you, no one take me seriousely smh) and i always talk about colorism, systems of oppressions and all that, but… No one cares, if i was this cute black girl with hella curves and that wears adidas people will actually pay atttwntion to me. When i talk to a guy, it’s clear that he doesnt want to “push the convo”, like idk why i have messenger no one is talking to me , I ALWAYS start the convo…i’m not invited in parties, group chat, no one is interacting with me, im tired of all this social isolation online and offline. 
At school, i just dont have friends, the ones that I talk to are hella colorblind,antiblack and like rich ass white kids, plus there’s this white bitch who constantly hit me in the back of my head or my shoulders she thinks it’s chill and all that, i told her to stop ,she ddint stop, if i hit her back i’ll look like the angry black girl.
, the black people in my school dont even look at me in the eyes, 
Maybe when i get a job , i’ll make new friends i really hope so because either on offline or online, i need social interaction, really need it. 
I hate being ignored. 
And, because i constantly face antiblackness and racial micro-aggressions and im really stressed/afraid of dealing with racial or/and gender-based micro-aggressions at my future job ( i really need money because im going to my first appart this fall ayee) this really stress me the fuck out and it makes me fucking sad BUT I CANT TALK ABOUT THIS WITH MY PSY AND SOCIAL WORKER THEY THINK RACISM IS OVER ,YAAAAAA, WHY CANT I TALK ABOUT MY REAL FEELINGS THEY INVALIDATE ME AND TELL TO GET OVEER IT OH PLEASE 
WHY IS THERE SHITTY PEOPLE AROUND ME? WHY THO ? 
i hate this world tbh. Not trying to look like some emo shit but i definitely hate this world, myself and people. 
How can you be happy in a world like this?
Send me an angel God, please. You can’t be suicidal while black, people will be like “oh you want attention youre not very depressed” 
Mmhh, since im 14yo i’ve made more than 20 attempts but OKAY BLACK PEOPLE CANT SUFFER I GUESS smh

Giant Q&A For Questions regarding the Ban/Game Abuse/Recent Update/Chat times

I’ve gotten a whole lot of these, so if you’ve sent me an ask in the last few hours on the above topic, it’s likely here. Putting them all together to hopefully help answer future questions and not clog up people’s dashboards. I will add to this if I receive more questions, so check it if you sent me something. Everything under the cut.

**Recently added some more questions

Keep reading

[FANACCOUNT] 140315 GD, Taeyang, and Seungri’s "Thinking of You" Fan Meeting in Singapore
  • The MC picked 8 people at random from category 1 & 2 ticket holders to go on stage and win chances to interact with GD,YB and Ri
  • All three came out on stage: GD came out from under the stage while YB and RI each walked in from standing pen stadium entrance.
  • MC: It’s very hot in Singapore.
    GD: Yeah yeah yeah yeah
  • MC: Do you like Singapore?
    GD: It’s amazing
  • Seungri has to dress a girl to (make her) look sexy but he said it's awkward to do so because they haven't spoken to each other at all
  • Seungri talks to the fan he has to dress up and asks “Who is your favourite member of BIGBANG? IT’S VERY IMPORTANT FOR ME!”
    Fan: You
    Seungri: LET’S DO THIS!
  • GD wore sunglasses for his fan, and he has to dress a fan to look cute and he ends up dressing her like a Gryffindor student from Harry Potter. He also wrapped the scarf around himself and the fan.
  • Taeyang had to dress his chosen fan in hip hop style and he danced for her. He also back-hugged the fan.
  • The MC asked GD and Taeyang if they can twerk, Taeyang said “To me only women twerk” and GD said he can’t and made Seungri do it instead.
  • Seungri twerked and after he’s done he said “GD can do it!” Taeyang said “I can try (twerking). Taeyang started twerking and Seungri joined him.
  • After the games portion was the performance portion. The order went Taeyang then Seungri then GD.
  • Taeyang‘s solo stage set list: SUPERSTAR, I NEED A GIRL, ONLY LOOK AT ME, RINGA LINGA.
  • Taeyang: What’s up Singapore! My name is Taeyang, and nice to meet you guys. You guys having fun now? I met many fans over the world and tonight in here at Singapore and I wanna say something special to my Singapore VIPs: I love ya! And I’m gonna try my best to come back soon.
  • Seungri starts with LETS TALK ABOUT LOVE. His solo stage set list: LTAL, GOTTA TALK TO U, STRONG BABY, GGB, WHAT CAN I DO. Seungri’s wearing a BIGBANG cap.
  • Seungri: Hey Singaporeans what’s up! Wow this is crazy! It’s so hot in here right? I wanna take off my jacket but my stylist said,‘no Seungri, please no take clothes off‘ so, okay”
  • Seungri: I’m happy to see you guys. Singapore always surprises me. Definitely always. 
  • Seungri: I LOVE CHILLI CRAB AND PEPPER CRAB. My lunch was CHILLI crab. I don’t know you but I love you. I love this place, I love this country
  • Seungri (on his improved english): “ When I first came to Singapore my english was horrible. I still don't understand everything, but I'm very good at reaction you know? Like, ‘REALLY?! OHMYGOD!‘ The next performance is GD, my leader you know. Hm actually he doesn’t like me talking too much. I don’t know why but he doesn’t like it. But you guys pay good money to see me so I have to/happy talk a lot! So I don’t care GD! I will talk! You maybe a superstar in Asia but I dont care you because I’m going straight to the hotel after this show!… [a while later] just kidding! I’m sorry GD! I love you!”
  • GD open‘s his solo stage with ONE OF A KIND. Then continued with MICHIGO.
  • GD:  What’s up singapore! It’s been a long time! Did you miss me? You have no idea how much I missed you. 
  • GD: Im sorry I couldn’t be here, but I hope you guys have fun tonight. When I sing swag, you sing check! When I sing get your, you sing crayon!
  • GD‘s solo set stage set list: ONE OF A KIND, MICHIGO, CRAYON, CROOKED.
  • Seungri: It’s a fucking Saturday night! 
  • LET‘S TALK ABOUT LOVE full performance by SEUNGRI, GD AND TAEYANG,.
  • GD: By the way, two of our members, Daesung and TOP are missing, so you guys gonna help us out. We want to sing a BB song.
  • Seungri is singing TOP‘s part in BAD BOY.
  • Theyre performing FANTASTIC BABY while throwing candies out of baskets to the standing pen.
  • GD is singing all of TOP‘s rap in FANTASTIC BABY
  • Theyre saying goodbye and going backstage. Seungri:” Thank you, Singapore! I wanna come back!“

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