i really hated doing this though

anonymous asked:

putting this in anon sorry i've gotten hit extra hard with that depression™ recently and i've realized my whole life has been taken away from me because of my illness and i'm losing myself. and it's not even the illness' fault. it's my mom. i was literally fine. and it's not a joke. i got a diagnosis and my mom freaked out and pulled me out of school and put me on every preventative medication in the books and let me become a self hating antisocial mess. she won't even (to be continued)

damn.. I’m really sorry to hear about whats going on. thats completely unfair of your mom though, isolating you from social interactions and things you enjoy doing are not going to make depression go away, it’ll just do the opposite and she needs to understand that. i’m assuming you’ve already tried reasoning with her? like get her to sit down one day and have a proper conversation about it

if that doesnt work out then my second best suggestion would be to talk to another adult you trust or friend (it can even be an online friend, if anything, surely you have someone you knew back in school). what your mom is doing doesnt seem positive at all. its good for parents to worry and want to help, but there’s right and wrong ways to help.

i really hope stuff gets better, i’m wishing you luck x 

anonymous asked:

do you know why elemental-kiss decided that sororities are bad?? seems like a really quick 180, kind of suspicious

Because sororities are bad and she’s realized that the responsible thing to do is to put the fishes’ needs and health first? There’s nothing suspicious about it.

I applaud every responsible owner that breaks down their sorority before more unnecessary harm or loss of life occurs. I’ve seen two or three people do that recently, which personally makes me very happy. I do hate that for every one sorority broken down, two more seems to pop up in their place, though. It’s a never-ending battle.

anonymous asked:

I really hate the phrase "gender non conforming" because I have never come across a single person who identifies that way - it's usually cis people that push that label onto them. I think that it's meant to basically group nb people with trans people though, right? For the nb people who don't consider themselves trans, do THEY like being called gender non conforming? What are your thoughts on this terminology?

GNC is a term that includes anyone who doesn’t behave and/or look in ways that people of their gender are “supposed” to behave and/or look like.

So for example, a masculine girl, whether they are cis or trans, would be GNC.

I think it is a useful term to have, as a lot of people use it as a way to validate their own identity - for example, “I am a GNC nonbinary people - I may not be androgynous, but I am still nonbinary!”.

And it can be important to cis people too, as cissexism and transphobia does sometimes splash over and harm them as well. A masculine cis woman is going to get shit for being masculine, and a feminine cis guy is going to get shit for being feminine. So if they want to use GNC as a way to identify, to find a community and support etc, then they can absolutely do that.

It is a term that I do sadly often see used as a weapon against trans and nonbinary people though - for example, people calling trans people who were cafab “GNC women”, which is just… disgusting transphobic misgendering in a painfully obvious form. And because of that (as well as probably other reasons, as it’s entirely possible to have other reasons to not want to use a certain label) a lot of people don’t like being called GNC.

So my thoughts are, I guess, it is a good and a bad term.

It has many valid uses and can be an important part of the way that people identify. But it is also terminology that is often used to invalidate and misgender trans and nonbinary people, which is of course very, very bad.

So, in conclusion… meh? It’s not a term that I use for myself, it is a term I have had used against me, but I can understand why people use it.

Promise Me You Wont Do Promises + Reality = Probably With Insanity

Pretty sure my teeth are clean enough to state
Something tangible and romantic enough to get into your head
To show I’m trying to connect
What goes on behind those eyes?
The kind of guy I am, I just find out with a hammer
and only find brains
Too literal
I was only asking in the sense of what the thoughts were
That make you progress day by day
I’m just really violent and aggressive in my approach
Chocolates might be a better option
Though, I’m sure I’d find a way to kill you with them still
Hate to be blunt because knives are better
and always wanted to be sharp
but there is something similar between this leftover fence wood
and the feelings that make me want to say “I love you.”
Both are convenient
That was some time ago and I stopped dicking around in alleyways
Even then, it still seems my hostility is not the best approach
Why do you like this?
Just tell me to ease back a little
I’m only speaking about what I think you think you want to say
I think, therefor it is
You think, henceforth I’ll be
Lemme rail this wall a few more times and hope to break it down
Convince Quantum Mechanics that wood is more durable than brick
Then, get back to me when I’m done doing nothing

(Written and submitted by @empathyundertow)

Kassy: the hate though? Wtf? For standing up for what’s right?!
Howwwww does that even make sense??

I don’t understand.
Do people not have lives, that all they know how to do is sit behind a computer screen and send hate to people because they disagree with what is being said?

I’m truly mindblown by all this bs today. Really? Come on now. It’s 2017. Whitewashing and Racism really shouldn’t be an issue.
Especially in such a strong community like Cosplaying and Roleplaying.

Do you guys have those users on here that you super admire and look up to, but you’re also terribly frightened of them? Like, I want to be your friend and interact, but jesus christ you’re terrifying and I am worried you’d hate me

I’m really lonely. Not even for someone to be here because I’ve got the cats and I’ve had more physical contact with a human more in the past week than I have in like three years. But for someone who understands. Someone who gets my brain and who I can talk to. Actually talk too.

@gambitfairy replied to your post “Life isn’t really pretty here, so if you have any cute headcanons (not…”

Yuri always comments on how trashy JJ’s tattoos are but they’re always the first thing he goes to when he’s looking for something for his tongue to trace and worship over.

AW I love this idea. Yuri saying he hates JJ’s tattoos but silently loving them. JJ tries to tease him though “do you love them so much ?” “of course not I hate them it’s utter trash” “then why are you kissing them ?” “shut up or I remove them with my teeth”

My 2016 In Reading

THE BOOKS I LOVED SO MUCH I WANTED TO SEW THEM INTO MY SKIN AKA MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson
Today I Am a Book by xTx
The Three Woes by Casey Hannan
A Bestiary by Lily Hoang
Queen of the Night by Alexander Chee
The Mothers by Brit Bennett
Commonwealth by Ann Patchett
The Red Car by Marcy Dermansky

THE BOOK THAT OPENED MY EYES AND MIND AND BROKE MY HEART WITH THE PAINFUL REALITY TOO MANY AMERICANS LIVE WITH

Evicted by Matthew Desmond

THE BOOK THAT WAS TOTAL TRASH AND I THINK THE WRITER HATES FAT PEOPLE WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR ISSUES BUT STILL, GIRL, WHAT….

Maestra by L.S. Hilton

THE COMING OF AGE PROSE POETRY THAT MOVED ME IMMEASURABLY

The Pocket Knife Bible by Anis Mojgani

THE BOOK THAT MADE ME THINK HILLARY CLINTON REALLY WAS GOING TO WIN THE PRESIDENCY

All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister

THE STRANGE BOOK ABOUT LONELINESS AND THE THINGS WE DO ONLINE THAT I HIGHLY RECOMMEND

Valletta78 by Erin Fitzgerald

THE POETRY BOOK I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND AT ALL THOUGH I COULD TELL THE POEMS WERE SUPER SMART

The House of Lords and Commons by Ishion Hutchinson

THE ACTION THRILLER THAT HAD LOTS OF HYPE BLURBS BUT WAS ONLY SO SO

The Second Life of Nick Mason by Scott Hamilton

THE RETELLING OF A CLASSIC THAT I REALLY ENJOYED, WHICH SURPRISED ME AND ALSO THE AUTHOR WROTE ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME, AMERICAN WIFE

Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

THE BOOK THAT MADE ME CRY BECAUSE IT HELD SO MUCH I COULD RELATE TO AND THEN MADE ME A LITTLE MAD

13 Ways of Looking at a Fat Girl by Mona Awad

EXCELLENT SMALL PRESS BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT

Pink Museum by Caroline Crew
The Farmacist by Ashley Farmer
The Voyager Record by Anthony Michael Morena
Massive Cleansing Fire by Dave Housley

THE BOOK I READ TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE A COMIC BOOK SERIES EVEN THOUGH I WAS WRITING FOR THEIR MAJOR COMPETITOR

The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics by Dennis O’Neil

THE COMIC BOOK I LOVED AND RECOMMEND OFTEN

Saga by Brian Vaughan

THE COMIC BOOK ISSUE I READ AND THOUGHT WAS NOT SO GOOD SO I HAVEN’T READ ANY OTHER ISSUES IN THE SERIES

Wonder Woman Rebirth #1

THE BOOK I WROTE AN INTRODUCTION FOR (OUT IN 2017! FROM BEACON PRESS!)

Like One of the Family by Alice Childress

THE BOOK I REVIEWED FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES

Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult

THE BOOK I WANTED TO LOVE THAT HAD GORGEOUS OBSERVATIONS OF WOMEN’S FRIENDSHIPS

Rich and Pretty by Rumaan Alam

THE BOOK ABOUT CHEFS AND THEIR TATTOOS WITH FASCINATING STORIES OF WHY PEOPLE PERMANENTLY INK THEIR SKIN

Knives and Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton

THE BOOK I READ BECAUSE I SAW A PREVIEW FOR THE TV SHOW AND LEARNED IT WAS BASED ON A BOOK SO I STARTED WONDERING IF THE BOOK WAS GOOD

Queen of the South by Arturo Perez-Reverte

SOME VERY GOOD BOOKS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT BECAUSE THE STORIES ARE WARM AND/OR INTELLIGENT AND/OR STRANGE AND/OR GRIPPING AND/OR INTENSE

Turner House by Angela Flournoy
LaRose by Louise Erdrich
The Wangs vs the World by Jade Chang
The Story of My Teeth by Valerie Luiselli
You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott

THE HEARTBREAKING BOOK ABOUT BEING GAY IN THE MIDDLE EAST DURING THESE TUMULTUOUS TIMES FROM A WRITER WITH A LOT OF POTENTIAL

Guapa by Saleem Haddad

GORGEOUS BOOKS OF POETRY I REALLY LOVED

Night Sky With Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong
L’Heure Bleue by Elisa Gabbert
The New Testament by Jericho Brown
Look by Solmaz Sharif
There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé by Morgan Parker

THE EXCELLENT BOOK I CHOSE AS MY SELECTION FOR BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB

The Veins of the Ocean by Patricia Engel

THE BOOK I READ BASICALLY TO IMPRESS A GIRL AND IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD BOOK ALSO AND I HOPE THE GIRL WAS IMPRESSED BY MY DEDICATION BECAUSE THE BOOK WAS VERY LONG

The Fireman by Joe Hill

THE BOOK WITH AN AMAZING TITLE,  SOME REALLY GOOD STORIES INCLUDING A RIFF ON ANTIQUES ROADSHOW AND ALSO SOME STORIES I LIKED LESS

American Housewife by Helen Ellis

THE BOOK THAT WAS EXCEPTIONALLY WRITTEN BUT I WANTED THE ACTUAL RAILROAD PART TO BE MORE FULLY REALIZED

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

FUN BOOKS THAT WERE FUN

The Assistants by Camille Perri
China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan

THE BOOK ABOUT BEING SINGLE TOWARD THE MIDDLE OF YOUR LIFE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE WHEN IT COMES OUT

All Grown Up by Jami Attenberg

THE EXCELLENT SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS COMING OUT AROUND THE SAME TIME AS DIFFICULT WOMEN THAT MADE ME JEALOUS AND ALSO SCARED OF THE COMPETITION

Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh
Always Happy Hour by Mary Miller

THE BOOK THAT WAS NOT MY CUP OF TEA BUT IT’S ME NOT THE BOOK

300 Arguments by Sarah Manguso

THE BOOKS I BLURBED (AND THEREFORE REALLY ENJOYED)

You’re the  Most Beautiful Thing That Happened by Arisa White
In the Not Quite Dark by Dana Johnson
I Almost Forgot About You by Terry McMillan
The Red Car by Marcy Dermansky
Feminist Baby by Loryn Brantz
Lower Ed: The Troubling Rise of For-Profit Colleges in the New Economy by Tressie McMillan Cottom
Bruja by Wendy C. Ortiz
Sing For Your Life by Daniel Bergner
Made for Love by Alissa Nutting

  • Newt and Tina: *loses Jacob in a crowd*
  • Newt: Hold on I got this.
  • Newt: QUEENIE GOLDSTEIN IS A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I HATE HER!
  • Jacob: QUEENIE IS AMAZI- wait....who's Queenie? Why do I feel so offended?
  • Tina: *looks to a crying Newt*

*“Do you know karate? ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.” (not literal)

Prepare for a SHITLOAD of stuff like this. Even though I’m THIS close to switching to Shance simply because I hate drawing Keith’ hair

I googled so many (horrible) spanish pick up lines, I got fuel for ages!!!
And, yeah, I’m still struggling with this whole digital media but I’m slooowly getting there.

Please bear with me a little longer

Obsession

‘Malfoy’s up to something’

‘Ah, shit, not again’ Ron looked from his friend to his girlfriend, a desperate sigh escaping from his lips as he got up from the library table. Harry looked unfazed, his eyes still fixed on the blond who was sitting alone at a distant corner. 'We need to do something…’

'I know, I’ll just go grab my cloak…’

'No, Harry.’ Harry stopped, finally turning around to look at his friends. Hermione had a strange expression on her face, a mixture of pity and amusement. Ron, however, looked just like that time during second year when they had to face Aragog. What caught Harry’s attention, though, was the way Hermione had spoken, almost like she expected him to hex Malfoy right then and there. 'This needs to stop, really. We know it’s been hard for you…’

Harry winced, he hated when she treated him like a child. And, for fuck’s sake, he was sure Malfoy was up to something because he was sitting alone, scribbling something Harry was sure wasn’t related to the potions book he had opened in front of him. And he had that look on his face, like, like… he was up to something.

'Wait- what are you talking about?’

'Your obsession’ Ron whispered again, refusing to look Harry in the eye.

'I’m not obsessed!’ A bunch of students glowered at him and Madam Pince sent the three of them a warning look from where she stood. Harry felt his cheeks heat up immediately and he had to do his best not to turn around and see if that had caught Malfoy’s attention.

Hermione was still staring at him like he was a lost puppy.

'Why would you think he’s up to something?’ she sounded like a psychiatrist.

'Just look at him! He’s alone, for fuck’s sake, he’s never alone. And, and he’s obviously not studying. I bet he’s scheming something from the way he’s staring at that paper’ Harry turned his head slowly to catch a glimpse of Malfoy and had to turn around quickly since the blond seemed to have noticed them and decided to stare back.

Harry felt his cheeks heat up again for some reason. He saw from the corner os his eyes the Slytherin walking through the door, throwing something at the closest trash bin on his way out. That was it, that was Harry’s chance.

'Harry- wait, where’re you going?’ Hermione looked worried now, but she and Ron didn’t hesitate to follow him. Harry walked straight to the bin and grabbed the tiny ball of parchment before gesturing the other two to follow him.

They walked out of the library and turned an empty corner where Harry started to open the ball, flattening the paper as best as he could.

Wait-what… holy shit.

'What is it- Harry… Are you blushing?’

Ron snatched the paper from Harry’s hands before Harry could react. He stared down at the parchment to see a thousand different drawings moving, amazing doodles that covered the whole page. Drawings of Harry.

'Well, I knew I was right’ Hermione’s voice startled them both. The girl sighed and gave Harry a little smile before grabbing the paper from Ron’s hands to take a closer look. Harry felt his cheeks heat up even more and a sudden urge to snatch the piece back took hold of him. His hand stopped mid air when Hermione spoke. 'He’s really good, isn’t he?’ She was still smiling.

'What? This- this is Malfoy we’re talking about! And- fuck, Harry, I don’t even know what to say…’

Ron looked from the piece of parchement in Hermione’s hand to Harry’s face, which was still beet red.

'Isn’t it obvious?’ Hermione sent Ron one of those looks, the ones they were both so used to. She looked at Harry expectantly but Harry just stood there, speechless. So Malfoy was drawing him, not scheming an evil plan, nor sulking, nor writing all the names he’d put on his black list. He was doodling nice, actually beautiful, drawings. Of Harry. Which meant the boy had probably spent a hell lot of time looking at him, at his hair, his neck, his shoulders. His eyes, his smile. Because he was smiling in one of them, actually laughing.

'It means he has a crush on Harry’ Hermione rolled her eyes like she hadn’t just said the most absurd thing.

Ron coughed and burst out laughing before realising that the girl wasn’t joking. He froze in place, turned his head slowly towards her, his mouth gaping.

'Can you hear yourself?’ he was whispering again, probably without realising it. 'Malfoy is a boy. Harry’s enemy. He hates Harry’ he spoke punctuating every word, his blue eyes blown wide.

'Oh, Ronald, are you blind? Are you going to tell me Harry’s obsession is hate?’

'I don’t have an obsession!’ Harry tried to yell but his voice faltered. None of them seemed to notice.

'I- I don’t know what it is! I wouldn’t say 'hate’ but… Oh, come on, Hermione, are you saying you actually think-’

'Just think about it for a second! I’m sure if Harry knew how to draw he’d probably be doing the same thing’

'I can draw- wait… what- I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH ON MALFOY!  

'Holy. Shit’ Ron was staring at something above Harry’s head, his eyes blown wide like he’d just understood some complex potions theory. 'That… explains a lot’.

'NO IT DOESN’T! Harry snatched the paper from Hermione’s hand and stuffed it deeply in his pocket. That was absurd, that was… ridiculous! So maybe Malfoy wasn’t up to something, okay, he was wrong, but that- that didn’t mean…

'Harry’ Hermione sighed, pulling him into a hug. He tried to stay angry at her, thought about pushing her away but he couldn’t. He knew she wouldn’t say anything to make him feel bad, even though he still couldn’t believe both his friends would say something like that. Fuck, Malfoy? How could he have a crush on Malfoy? He hated him, the slytherin was a prick, an arrogant bastard…

He- he didn’t actually hate him. But he didn’t have a crush on him either!

Hermione pulled away. 'So you don’t have a crush on him. Okay, well, now that we know he’s not up to anything we can just drop it, right? I need to finish my transfiguration essay and you both need to finish your potions essays so we better go back in there’ She sent Ron a hard look before turning on her heels and marching to the library. Ron tried to follow her but Harry grabbed his arm, holding him in place.

'What the fuck?’ Harry whispered so Hermione wouldn’t hear him.

'What?’

'Do you actually think I have a crush on- on Malfoy?’

Ron blushed and looked away. 'Mate, let’s just leave it, okay? We better get going-’

Harry strengthened his grip, bringing back Ron’s attention.

'I don’t have a crush on him. I don’t’

Ron nodded and gave him an unconvincing smile 'Whatever you say, Harry. As long as you stop talking about him’.

Except Harry didn’t. Harry couldn’t.

The next day Ron sat across from Harry at breakfast just to find his friend constantly searching the table at the opposite wall from them. Harry wouldn’t say a thing, wouldn’t pay proper attention to their conversation. Until he found what he was looking for and Ron had to watch as Harry’s cheeks were painted in pink, darker by the second.

The next day Hermione observed as Harry did the same thing, smiling widely - even though Ron had no idea why she’d do that - when Harry asked which classes Gryffindor had with Slytherin since now they were eighth years and their schedule had changed quite a lot.

And then they had herbology on thursday morning and Ron almost punched Harry when Professor Sprout took points from them because Harry 'couldn’t keep his eyes on his own table’.

Inside their dorms Harry would always have the map open in front of him, while studying, while talking to his roomates, even while changing, for Merlin’s sake. His finger would follow that small dot Ron never had to check to know who it was.

The worst part was that Malfoy was basically doing the same bloody thing.

Instead of his typical sneer the slytherin would blush and turn his gaze away everytime he caught Harry looking at him, which had been a lot. The rare times Harry wasn’t looking, and Ron unfortunately was, Malfoy would scribble on some random piece of parchment while casting glances at Harry. Some of them he would fold and hide in the middle of his notes. The other ones he would throw away just so Harry could fish them out of the trash bin. Harry thought Ron didn’t know he was doing that and, being his loyal friend, the ginger preferred to spare the other from the humiliation so he didn’t tell him he knew.

When monday rolled around Ron snapped.

'I can’t, that’s it, that’s enough’ Ron’s grip on his feather was so strong it broke in half, startling Hermione who was focused on her own potion. She opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when her eyes turned to Harry and consequently to Harry’s table where she could see small pieces of parchment with tiny doodles glued to the margins of Harry’s notes. She let out a giggle and Ron grunted, throwing his things inside his bag.

'Where are you going?’ Hermione stopped immediately when Ron pushed his chair to get up. He stopped before doing so and bent forward so he was face to face with the girl.

'Look at them, just look. They’re not even trying to hide anymore, they just keep staring at each other like- like, you know what I mean. And Harry just sighed, shit, if i see anymore of this I’m gonna puke’

Harry, apparently, wasn’t even listening, his eyes fixed on Malfoy who kept darting glances at him while scribbling fast. Harry knew he was drawing him and that alone was sending shivers down his spine. The boy decided not to think about that, not to think about anything actually because he knew that was fucked up, he should be creeped out after all. But he wasn’t, he was… happy? And maybe Malfoy would throw that one away and Harry would be able to keep it…

'He’s not even listening! Who are you and what did you do to our friend?!’ Harry turned his head away from those grey eyes to face a red face full of freckles in front of him. Ron seemed pissed, though Harry didn’t quite know why since his friend’s potion seemed to have turned out okay from what Harry could see.

'What happened?’ He looked at Hermione, who was trying really hard to hold her giggles when her face drained of color and her mouth dropped open. The next second long fingers were digging in Harry’s shoulder, turning him around forcefully. And there was Malfoy, right there staring at him with cold eyes. His mouth was a line, barely visible, until he opened it to speak and Harry saw how red his lips were contrasting with his pale skin.

‘Potter’ He yanked one of the pieces of parchment from Harry’s- shit shit shit, they were everywhere, the doodles, the ones that were supposed to be where Malfoy had put them, not on Harry’s things. Harry darted his eyes up, his mouth opening and closing while he tried desperately to think of something to use as an excuse but nothing came to his mind. ‘We need to talk. I’ll wait for you outside’. They were dismissed the next minute and neither Ron nor Hermione said a thing when Harry got up and left alone.

Fuck, fucking shit. He was an idiot, what would Malfoy think now? That he was stalking him, which he obviously wasn’t. It was just, the drawings… they were, er, nice. Right, he could say that-

‘How many?’ Harry stopped shortly where he was when he heard that voice from behind him. He turned around to meet Malfoy leaning against a wall, next to the huge hallway windows. His hair was like silk, each strand curling at the ends, completely different from the gelled neat style Harry was used to seeing. His expression was hard, almost hurt, and something weighed uncomfortably at the bottom of Harry’s stomach.

‘Five’ Harry heard his voice though it didn’t sound like his own at all. ‘I’m sorry-‘

‘I couldn’t sleep’ Harry closed his mouth, Draco turned his eyes away. ‘After the war ended, I couldn’t sleep. I would stay awake for hours just… thinking. And the faces of-‘ The boy gulped making Harry shiver. He knew, he knew exactly what Malfoy was talking about because he saw the same faces every night. All of them now populated his dreams with his parents, Sirius, Dumbledore.

Draco closed his eyes before continuing. ‘So I needed to get them out. I like drawing, you see’ He opened them and Harry felt his whole body warm with the instensity of the other’s gaze. ‘But yours- your face wouldn’t leave me alone’

‘So you started drawing me’ Harry took a step closer.

‘Yes. And it helped at first. But I came back- we came back’ He looked at the ceiling, closed his eyes again, inhaled. Harry took another step closer.

'You’re really good at it. They’re so… realistic’ Another step. If Harry reached out he could touch Malfoy’s hair.

Malfoy looked at him, grey piercing through green. 'You were everywhere’ His voice came out a whisper but his eyes were screaming. 'The papers, those pictures. You- you looked exhausted

Harry let a sad smile form on his lips. He remembered the thousands of interviews, flashes of cameras, people screaming his name. He remembered the trials and he remembered Draco Malfoy’s face. Exhausted.

Draco was a victim of the war just like him.

'I couldn’t sleep’ Harry said, taking another step towards Draco, the last one.

'I wanted to reach you, but everyone kept saying I was-’

'Obsessed’

Draco’s eyes were wide, shining. Harry let his fingers play with his, intertwine, brush against each other. 'I guess I’ve been all along’ The blond whispered, lacing his fingers with Harry’s.

As classes ended, the corridors became more crowded by the minute. Noise, whispers, gasps of shock reached Harry’s ears but all he could think about was why he’d waited so long to feel Malfoy’s lips moving against his own, how nice the Slytherin’s hands felt placed on his waist. And knowing that he didn’t care about anyone’s opinion was almost as good as knowing Draco didn’t either.

Ao3

Try to pin me for illegal deductions? That's a paddlin'

This occurred about 3 years ago.

I shut down my framing company to pursue a job as a site supervisor for the development I had been building in.

Started with the builder after I had built the last house, and managed to get 3 out of 4 of my guys a job with the builder, so they wouldn’t be affected my decision. (the fourth guy was a piece of shit, who I never fired because his work ethic was awesome, but had a terrible attitude, bad habits, and was wildly hated by the rest of the crew. He was only there because he made me money. sorry)

First couple months go well, my three guys have settled into doing more than just framing, though they were not enthused about certain tasks, but who really likes working in a muddy hole, or highly physical labour tasks.

My guys were always dirty. Always wore “shitty clothes to work, as did I. Who wants to destroy I nice pair of jeans, or a new clean white t shirt, by getting them stained, or torn. So, our professional "look” left a little to be desired.

After awhile, the owner thought our mish-mash of a crew needed some cleaning up. Ive always subscribed to the analogy “gotta crack an egg to make an omelette”, so I wasn’t personally concerned about our outward appearances, our work should speak for itself.

I’d saved the builder 9$ per square foot, per house, and I could see he was happy about that, under my direction, the rest of the trades had increased the quality, without any incurred cost, and our houses just “looked” better than competitors, during construction.

I get called into a meeting, half way through the week, and the owner says “ I’m tired of you guys looking like no one owns you, your work attire should reflect the quality of homes we’re building, here’s a bunch of uniforms, enough so everyone has one to wear every day, and an extra in case you work Saturday’s.”

I say “ hey boss man! That’s a great idea! It’ll make my guys feel more included and happier! You’ve even embroidered their names on everything! That’s super cool!”

My guys were ecstatic. New shirts, pants, steel towed boots, and steel towed cold weather rubber boots, jackets, hard hats, hi-VI’s vests, you name it. All name brand, high quality stuff, Supplied by the company. It was Christmas in July.

Until they got their pay cheque.

Each guy including me, was deducted $1357.00 for “uniforms”

My lowest paid guy at $15 and hour, OWED the company money.

Next guy made $3.16.

Highest paid guy? A cool $57.

Me? Well I received a cheque less my “uniform” deduction for a little over $2500. I made more money building for him, than I did managing his site.

I was f*cking furious.

This is where the revenge comes in.

I paid my guys for their deducted wage, and then did some research.

Guess what?

Where I’m from, if you require an employee to wear a certain uniform, you cannot pass that cost off to the employee. It’s to be supplied free-of-charge to the worker.

This was also around the time I had been using my personal accounts at suppliers for odds and ends.

I called for a meeting, printed out the labour standards act, highlighting to pertinent areas, and explained to the boss, not only was it illegal, what they did almost cost my guys their homes, if I hadn’t stepped up, they would have been evicted, child support wouldn’t have been paid, and it could have been a lot worse.

My boss took this all in, and said “it’s not mandatory, that’s why you guys have to foot the bill.”

I said “okay boss man, my guys can’t afford to drop $1357 on work clothes, so I’ll have everything returned, most of it has never been worn, you can return what’s still new, I’ll pay the difference”

We all went back to work, wearing our torn jeans, ripped shirts, and stained jackets.

Problem solved right?

Nope.

I was fired two days later. Since they were “my guys”, that meant them too.

So rather than tell the guys what happened, I told them to roll up all my tools, and anything I had paid for, take Friday off, and I’ll let everyone know what’s going on over the weekend.

Started back up framing that Monday, for the competing builder.

But that’s not where it ends.

I filed a complaint with labour standards, filed a builders lien on the 15 properties I had been managing for unpaid expenses and waited.

When he refused to acknowledge any claim against him, I escalated to lien his personal home. I had done $25,000.00 worth of work to his home, which was to be paid after the sale, plus an extra 10% for waiting.

That really got his attention, as his house was “sold”, pending the closing of the buyers own property.

The lien made it so he can’t sell, without paying me out first.

I ignored all calls, except from his lawyer, and he essentially shut down business, and blames me for doing so.

Long story short?

I got my money, but to this day refuse his $25,000.00 for payment as it lacks the 10%, plus 3% per month late charge.

He could sell his house, but he refuses to pay me out. Owes me about $56,000.00

F*ck that guy.

How to become a good student (again) 3: Yearn for friendship - not worship; not debasement

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

‘tis done! This beast just got longer and longer, so I decided to cut it down a bit for the sake of readability. But let me know if there’s something that was too vague - the nuance might have got lost in the editing process.

Alright, let’s get down to business (to defeat! The Huns!)! So, if you’re an ex-good student, I’m pretty sure that you know this static in your head, right? Whenever you really need to do something but you just can’t get up and do it, so you keep procrastinating even though you hate it and keep scrolling and scrolling or gaming and gaming and feel more and more guilty?

Well, it might not be the most immediate analogy, but for this post I want you to consider that what connects you and your subject of study is essentially a relationship and that this static is (among other things) an indicator of how screwed up your relationship is. Just like with real people, your relationships with subjects can either

  • prosper and bear fruit (me & Creative Writing)
  • become cold and distant (me & French)
  • or, worst of all, turn sour and actively harmful. (me & PE, back in school)

Now, nobody likes to hear that they’re relationship-ing wrong. And it is true that different approaches work for different people. But here are the counter-productive relationships that I’ve personally ended up in and I’m gonna show you how I got into and out of them, so you can try to do the same. Maybe it’ll help you lift that static from your head.

Side-Note: Always remember that, since your subjects are just that (subjects), and not real people, you are the only one who can actually mend these relationships and, conversely, you are the one who screwed them up in the first place (probably with good intentions, though).

So, we’ll take them in this order:

1) Overeager Debasement

2) Undereager Debasement

3) Worship


(Oh, and in case you wanna catch up:

Masterpost 

Part 1

Part 2)


1) Overeager Debasement

What is it?

The desire to do everything, perfectly, at the same time, right now. Not to limit yourself to just one field of study, but to master them all, to reign supreme above knowledge, to keep your mind wide open to new possibilities, similarities and contradictions.
You overvalue your own capacities and undervalue the needs and difficulties of your subject.
(also refer to the first post for this)

How did you get here?

(read picture from right to left)

So. Many. Possible. Reasons.

  • it’s a cage. The idea of doing just one thing for the rest of your life scares you and you feel imprisoned at the thought of it
  • you know that you could be outstanding if you applied yourself
  • you know that you could be even more outstanding if you became accomplished in multiple fields
  • you want to find connections between fields nobody’s ever considered before
  • you feel like you’ve wasted your last few years and need to catch up to others
  • you’re afraid that you’re not good enough
  • you’re afraid of being ignorant
  • you’re arrogant

No matter the reason (I’ve gone through them all), people caught in this state of mind shovel more and more onto their plate.
And then wonder why they can’t swallow it all.

What do you think you’re doing?

A labour of love, most likely. You think you love languages and sciences and athletics and programming and cooking and hanging out with friends and being alone and so you just want to do it all!
You don’t want to limit yourself! You don’t want to lose any time! But there’s just so much and you have so little energy and ugh, if only I wasn’t destined for greatness, then I could relax like other little people, but no, I need to keep pushing! In every! Direction! At the same! Time!

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend who gets up at 6am, watches the sun rise, does yoga, eats a healthy breakfast, goes for a quick run, comes back home, answers all correspondence, is artistic for a few hours, then scientific for a few hours, then social for a few hours and ends the day with tiny masterpieces in each area, goes out with friends or family to grab a healthy dinner and goes to sleep, happy and balanced :)

Well, you know what, my starry-eyed friend?

What are you actually doing?

You’re the mental equivalent of a social butterfly.
You’re being fucking disrespectful.

You’re always on the run and never able to really commit to anything, because you’ve already scheduled something else afterwards. You’re shallow, deluded, that one friend that always comes in running, screaming “Besties  ~ ♥” and everyone shifts uncomfortably in their seats and smiles a painful smile and humours you, because they know you mean well, but they also know that you know nothing about them. 
You’ve never been there for them ever, but always expect them to be there for you. Whenever they want to talk about themselves, you nod and then proceed to about yourself and your plans and “ohmygosh, this is so nice, we need to meet more often ~ ♥ “. But at least you mean well, so they’ve agreed to keep it simple and on the “The weather is nice today”-level with you. 

But here you are, wondering why you’re not making any progress.
Mysterious.

So what do I do?

Well, you need to go from this:

To this:

How? More on that below.


2) Undereager Debasement

What is it?

This stage is what happens when you notice that your lofty ideals from Overeager Debasement cannot be fulfilled. You turn bitter, hateful, cold. You think you’re a failure, you think you were too soft. Instead of wanting to be friends with everyone, you now want to rule over everyone, fuck what they want.

You’re burnt out. You’re done. You just want to get through these stupid classes and catch a goddamn break, goddamnit.

And you WILL get through. You’re too proud to do anything else. But you don’t really care about any of it.
You just want to make it.

How did you get here?

If you were a good student, you probably heard at some point or another that you were “different” and that your complex and mysterious ways were not understandable and definitely not achievable for your average classmate.

Most people who tell you this mean well. A few want to make fun of you, but most actually do mean it as a compliment. But they don’t know how dangerous it is to hear it again and again, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, you start to believe it.
You start to believe that somehow, you have a higher calling, a higher standard. And you start to long for that day when your high standards will be met - when you will go to that one mysterious class where everyone is just as eager as you are, where the “Oh, captain, my captain!”-teacher will spark a fire in your brain that will never go out and when your ominous “gifts” can finally be put to good use for the prosperous future of mankind.


And you work.

And work.

And the class never comes.

You feel the weight on your shoulders when teachers talk of “high expectations”, you feel it crush you a little bit every time your friends tease you about your genuine fear that you might not get an A, that you might lose it all, that your “gifts” could disappear and you’ll be stranded and useless and you put in the hours, you work your ass off to keep that high standard, all in the hope of having that one miraculous class that never comes.

I realized that that class would never come when I entered university.

University, I’d told myself, would be my Arcadia, my Eden, my academic paradise where all my hard work would be rewarded!
Instead, I only found more drudgery, more incompetent professors, more disinterested students and even more bureacracy. To say that I was “disappointed” would be putting it very lightly.

I became disoriented and disenchanted. I realized that I could get through most classes with half-assed effort, I was hardly ever challenged, I floated along and hated every second of it. I blamed my boring teachers, the imperfect system, the teachers who had given me hope only for me to watch it crash and go up in flames.

What do you think you’re doing?

Being badass, cool and detached, most likely.

You dream of yourself as a master and your subjects as slaves. They bow to your will, they dance to your tune, you command them with the snap of a finger.

“Look, you slave of the system”, you say, lying on a velvet sofa, “Look, at how it hardly takes any effort for me to pass these classes! Look at how I spend my time doing things I actually like and that are actually worth it, unlike these stupidly easy classes taught by stupidly incompetent professors in a stupidly screwed-up system! Look at me, being edgy and drowning in self-hatred because I can physically feel myself gliding off the rails that made me so “special” and becoming one of the average people in the masses, haha. Ha. Ha. Screw academia, but still give me good grades, amirite?”

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend that never studies for classes, comes for three lectures per semester and still manages to get perfect grades because everything you do in school is, like, so five years ago. That one friend who has read all the classics in their spare time, has conquered and enslaved all the knowledge actually worth knowing, will quote obscure Polish philosophers you’ve never heard of and plays the piano with a perfect pitch. They’re the wisest, most culture-non-conforming people you know - they’ve been up until 5am, wandering the streets and drinking vodka from a bottle while forcefully pentrating the mysteries of the universe all by themselves until they finally fall asleep on a park bench and awake with an epiphany about Klein bottles.
They’re “special”.

What are you actually doing?

Caring more about appearing “special” than actually trying to be “special”, that’s what you’re doing.

But, look, what made you so “special” and “different” in the first place was not a “calling” or “gifts” or the fact that you wrote good grades and were destined for greatness.

Here’s a handy chart I’ll use later - you were lucky enough to fall into the green zone, lucky enough to be born with an innate respect and a love for learning. That’s what made you “special”. That’s what made you succeed. Not pressure, not warped ideals and certainly not the fear of failure.


But somewhere along the way you forgot that and only focussed on the results. You started to believe yourself to be so special that everybody else should cater to you.
The fancy titles, the awe-struck looks, the “You’re so amazing”s and the “The genius of a decade”, the planned Nobel prize speech and the prestige, the dream others had lovingly created for you and you had slowly absorbed and warped as your own? It got to you. Hell, it got to me.
And it became more important than learning itself.
Somewhere along the way, you and I, we became an arrogant and lazy assholes.

You looked down on your easy courses and homework and instead of recognising how lucky you are, doing it in a minute and a half and then putting in the extra work on top to dig deeper and to maybe contribute something of value and fun, you threw it aside with a snide remark as beneath you.
Of course it wasn’t fun. Of course it wasn’t challenging. You never even tried to make it either.

(And don’t get me wrong: I honestly do think that the education system as it is right now needs MAJOR reforms. But right now? It is what it is. And instead of making the best of it and doing what you once loved so much, you succumbed to societal pressures you found yourself unable to fulfill and said “meh”.
You cared so much about the fame and the title that the relationship itself didn’t matter.)

But this isn’t the master-slave relationship you imagine it to be.
It’s a trophy-friendship. Once upon a time, you got on really well with this person and other people loved your friendship. You fell in love with the ideal, with their connections, their money, their prestige, their name on a CV, and you stuck around just for that.
You valiantly ignore the reality of the state of things between you two
and take them out only when absolutely needed, only when things are this close to falling apart and so you keep walking a fine, fine line.
Whenever a deadline approaches, you shower them with attention and love and, gingerly, they open up to you and you see a depth and complexity to them that astounds you and makes you think “Imagine! Imagine how much more I could have seen if only I’d started earlier?”
But the moment the crisis has passed, you toss them aside once again.

Because this is enough to make your name.
You may not remember much about these nights or about the person at all, but the only thing that counts is that it will fulfill your “special” prophecy and make you a legend, right?

Well, always remember this:
(read picture from right to left)

You’re not “special” if you made it to university. You’re not “special” if you’ve made your name. 
It comes down to a simple choice: do you value appearances over integrity or the other way round? Do you dare to look like a fumbling idiot again when you start something new? Is the “appearing like an idiot”-part more important to you than the “learning/creating something new”-part? 
Have a think about it.

3) Worship

“Alright”, you’ll say, “Alright. I get it. So I’ll treat my “friends”/subjects with respect and integrity and I’ll take all the time and concentration I can bestow upon them, just as I would upon real friends. But do you want me to be like, uh - like…

What is it?

“…like one of those anime characters that lives only for their dream and gets up at like 6am, does the thing, talks about the thing, breathes the thing, goes to bed, dreams of the thing and then wakes up at 6am to do the thing?”

(Google: Did you mean Hinata Shouyou?

Yes, yes, I did, google.)

Well, no, I don’t want you to do that. See, that’s the other extreme and unless you’re an anime character, chances are that it won’t work out for you. 

How did you get here?

Personally, I was caught in this trap for a loooooong time. Anime offered me a new way of relating to my passions that neither my family nor my school had ever shown me: unabashed obsession.
I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be obsessed. I wanted to give myself up to a higher ideal, something above human consciousness, something that would endure. I wanted to, well, get up at 6am, do the thing, talk about the thing, breathe the thing and so on - “the thing” in question being, of course, studying. I made elaborate plans, complicated lists, study-plans that shift on a daily basis and cover all grounds, I wanted to study for two hours before school, wanted to repeat lessons, wanted to give myself up to knowledge, made cool covers for my notebooks, made mock exams for my friends to use, planned to focus on each continent for a month and study it, planned to listen to one new composer each day, planned to go to the museum every week, planned to analyze Sherlock Holmes and think just like him, planned to - you get the idea.

I wanted to be like this:

What do you think you’re doing?

Being but a humble servant to the eternal workings of truth. Knowing thou art unworthy, yet suffering the perfection of study.

I wanted to go from 0 to 100, I wanted knowledge and wisdom to transform and deliver me, I wanted to feel enlightened, I wanted to feel my brain burning, pushing frontiers and breaking through to new horizons, I wanted to elevate myself to touch even the lowest levels of truth.
I wanted to do something noble, something worthwhile, something that could never be critisized and would always be valued, something with eternal meaning that would echo through the ages and I wanted to be even the tiniest cog in the machinery of mind.

What are you actually doing?

Being, quite simply, an idiot.

This is one of my favourite quotes (David Wong):

“There are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” 

The same goes for studying. As shown above, studying won’t work out if you do not treat your subjects with respect. Conversely, studying also won’t work if you continue to idolize it as work beyond all work and reproach, as the only true calling, as the realm of the genii and by self-flagellating yourself and repeating “I’m but a humble servant in your kingdom of reason and will never reach where you are, but will spend all my time trying to reach you.” 

Why? Because by saying “I’ll never reach you or be worthy of you”, you’ve already sealed your fate. Some students (no matter how well they actually perform) are stuck thinking that they are stupid and incapable of doing well. Others think that the trick is in the preparation and they undergo complicated rituals of finding exactly the right study spot, exactly the right study drink, exactly the right study time, etc. in the hope of channeling the connection between their godly subject and themselves, but it never turns out quite as glamorous as they’d hoped (once again, speaking from experience).

This is because you cannot force a true friendship if you think yourself unworthy of it. It will always be worship. 

And why are you worshipping?
Because it takes the pressure right off of you
. This always annoyed me about some of my fellow students. They treated becoming a good student as this miraculous and unlikely event that only happens to the #blessed.
I insisted that “no”, it could be done. “Yes”, it was hard work, but ultimately absolutely doable. But now that I’ve been in their shoes? I understand.
Admitting that you could have done it anytime implies failure on your part for not having done it. By saying “Oh no, it is so very complex and divine and a lowly worm like me could never hope to crawl in its shadows”, you shift the focus away from yourself and onto the thing itself. 

But this is a synthetic, manufactured relationship with a partner that does not even exist. It is, at its heart, a kyaa  ~ I hope senpai notices me! (๑♡⌓♡๑) - kind of relationship. It’s idolizing not a person’s true character, but their appearance, their aesthetic and the values that they represent for you. It’s not really listening to what they’re saying, but warping their words so they fit into your perfect idea of them.
Just, unlike with undereage debasement, you do not play pretend that everything’s fine and secretly hate the other person deep down - you honestly idolize them to heaven and back, so you could never possible reach them.
You’re using them to fill in the holes in your own personality.

And that … just isn’t fun? I dunno about you, but treating studying as something that must be done perfectly with exactly the right pen and the perfect face-mask after the right smoothie and in the right lighting by a window overgrown with ivy and with perfect concentration from the first moment and unwavering, knightly passion and exact planning from 6am to bedtime all because I know deep down that I will not be able to fulfill these ideals and thus don’t have to feel bad about not reaching them just … isn’t for me. I don’t like my relationships to be all overstructured and “perfect” and high maintenance like that.

I want my friendships and my studying to be authentic. And that means that sometimes it’s messy and sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s quoting Keats while lying on the floor at 2am in the morning and chugging milk out of a carton, but it’s real.
I truly do understand this longing to make studying look pretty and like a magical realm, because when you’re in the flow that’s really what it feels like. But the beauty comes along with the practice, not the other way round.

No, but honestly - what do I DO then?


Y’remember Hippogriffs from Harry Potter? That’s how I imagine my subjects. Approach them carefully, honestly, maintaining eye contact and as equals and they will respect you. This scene:

This scene is what I’m talking about. 
If you were in a worship-state, you would only admire them from afar, gushing over how beautiful they are, but sad that they would never deign to even look in your general direction. (think of all the subjects you thought would be way too difficult for you)
If you were in a debasement-state, you’d either try to make friends with all the hippogriffs, hopping from one to the other and forming no bond with either or you’d “tsk” disdainfully and try to force them to obey you against their will. (*cough* Malfoy *cough*)

If, however, you’re in the green, there will be mutual respect between you and you will be able to fly.

So what does it mean to be in the green? 
It means not to do any of the above, obviously, so 

  • take your time for and invest brainpower into each and every one of your subjects - be a good friend. Be there. Listen. Even if they have crazy ideas at 4am in the morning. 
  • appreciate your subjects and know that they are more than the teacher who tries to get you to know them. Sometimes, some people just have a really shitty PR department (especially maths)
  • don’t think too much or too little of yourself. You can do amazing things, but that does not give you the license not to do amazing things anymore, rest on your laurels and expect others to applaud you for it. 

  • some relationships take longer than others to build, but getting to understand someone who puzzled you from the first moment and challenged your beliefs will improve your own personality as well
    (side-eye at PE. Yes, I love you now, you crazy athletic bastard)
  • do it for the sake of the relationship itself, because you enjoy their company. Results are presents which, although very much appreciated, should not be the main motivator to keep you going.
    This essentially means that you should think of studying as hanging out with a friend - already makes it seem so much more inviting and way less daunting, does it not?

    (Logic and I, being saltmates. Real friends judge other people together)
  • be aware that all friendships go through rocky patches and some subjects might take a while to warm up to you or you to them. But if you think that it’s worth it, then you gotta power through that. If you don’t think it’s worth it, you gotta be brave enough to say good-bye. 


Look, what I’m actually saying is … be Souma Yukihira from Food Wars.

Food Wars is a crazy and at times pretty pervy manga/anime, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t also one of the best pieces of fiction I’ve ever consumed and if Souma isn’t one of the most admirable main characters I’ve ever encountered.  

The relationship between him and cooking is filled with trust, love and equality. He trusts his cooking skills, because he knows that they have spent a long time together - cooking won’t let him down and he won’t ever let cooking down by stopping to look for ways to improve.

That doesn’t mean, however, that he’s always deadly serious - he loves to play around with cooking and to try ridiculous new things. He never forgets the joy that even the simplest form of cooking brings him. 

There’s one great episode where he puts his life as a chef on the line and someone fearfully asks him what he’d do if he lost. He shrugs and says he could become a lawyer or a teacher or something. So while he loves cooking profoundly, he does not worship it and he knows that there are other relationships he could build up if he had to. He just …doesn’t want to, because cooking is his bff. 

He loves to take on challenges to see how far he and cooking have come -

- and he takes challenges very seriously -


- but takes it even more seriously if he loses -

- and nonetheless knows that they are stronger for the challenges they have faced together. 

So, yes, this is what it means to be in the green. Cherish your friendships, hang out together, be honest, funny, clever, curious and you. 

You’ll be surprised at how much fun the two of you will have, now that all the pretensions and pressures are gone. 

Just …hang out and have fun.

(and maybe watch Food Wars!, because damn, Souma is the MVP of my inspirational heroes)

Have a great day and I’ll see you in the next (and hopefully shorter) part 4 :)

Types as Roommates (based on actual roommates I’ve had as an INTP)

ESFP:  Rarely around, because they are always out with friends.  When they are home they usually talk about how cool their lamp is.  And you don’t disagree, because it’s a pretty cool lamp.  “I really appreciate you, dude” they say everyday after their shift, until you hate them and their stinky socks all over the bathroom floor.

ENFP:  They are SO! EXCITED! that you’re finally home to hang out with them even though they’ve been going and doing things all week.  Dishes are everywhere.  The rabbit is out of his cage and has chewed through the electrical wires.  The fire alarm is going off again.

INFP:  The best thing about living with them is their music taste.   You keep asking yourself if they are really as laid back as they say they are?  Their poster selection is haphazard, their trash can is filled to the brim, and they show everyone who comes through their dorm their collection of vinyl sex feet.  However, one day you get a terrifying message via text.  You drank from their cup.  That was the special cup.  You shouldn’t have drank from that cup.

ISFP:  THC is more important to oxygen to them.  They line their room with trippy tapestries, and a list of “cartoon conspiracies” is listed on their door.  During that really promiscuous phase of yours, they didn’t say a thing every night you must have waken them up moaning.  You couldn’t believe that anyone could be so laid back.  Then, exams came.  No one had ever been more vigilent, and more terrified than they are during exam week.  “Aderall” your friends say, “They’re hyped up on amphetamines,” but you know what they’re like on amphetamines, and this is a step above.

INTP:  You’ve watched the same anime from start to finish 3 times this week, but you don’t have the nerve to tell them that you’re tired of it.  They’re taking up all of the couch space too.  Because while they might have spent the first 2 weeks of being moved in creating the perfectly efficient and comfortable bedroom (complete with a pillow fort), they fall asleep in the living room most nights with their heated blanket and a wikipedia article up on their laptop.  You peek at their laptop expecting to see something related to their favorite video game or the classes they are taking, but “substitutional insect genitalia”  doesn’t fit either of those categories.

ENTP:  When they have friends over, they don’t just have friends over.  The banter is endless and it almost always lasts until 5 am.  Their is only so much existential philosophy you can take, and that is literally none when it it is being shouted by drunken satanists during the golden hour.  

ISTP:  They really like sex.  Sex is their favorite subject and they feel the need to tell you that frequently.  If you don’t update them on your current sexual status, they might get a little bit grumpy.  Their pet names for you include “slut” and “bitch”.  They read trashy novels and their television choices are questionable to you, but it matters little because you have finally found a roommate that simultaneously respects your boundaries and recognizes you for the asshole you are.

ISFJ:  Tea has suddenly become very important to you.  You memorized your roommates favorite teas for every occasion, every ailment and every time of day, before you even realized it was happening.  You wonder how you know this, without even knowing their last name or what they do for a living.  What time do they come in at night?  Do they have friends?  What kind of music do they listen to?  You imagine that they spend most of their time with their family, and at work, but it’s anybodies guess.

ENFJ:  The greatest sin of yours, is the sink that you leave untouched.  Once a week, they clean it begrudgingly.  With passive-aggression with more fervor than all of the crusades.  They are experimenting with brewing beer and cider.  They are also studying seminary.  They never sleep.  You try to explain to friends of friends that your roommate is going to be in the ministry, but they never believe you, because they’ve only ever seen your roommate black-out wasted.  “Before I was a Christian,”  your roommate says drunkenly  “I would have considered myself bisexual”.  Your eyes have never rolled so far back into your head.  You really wish you could light a joint about now.

ESTJ:  Late night chats about the economy have never been so interesting, but really, they are not interesting enough.  Why in the fuck are you living with a business major?  You down another beer and go to bed with a nauseous feeling in your stomach.

INTJ:  You constantly wonder to yourself if the moderately clean kitchen is worth your roommate’s “quirks”.  They haven’t really done anything, but you’re afraid of them.  You’re too afraid to tell them that they are listening to their audiobooks of The Foundation Trilogy too loud, and you’re too afraid to tell them that you don’t like how they’ve replaced all of the regular lightbulbs with red ones.  Your sense of reality starts to disintegrate.  Is that blood in the fridge?  Are those dildos?  Their is a stack of papers on the coffee table which, as far as you know, are comprised entirely with the digits of pi.

ESFJ:  You still can’t get over the fact that your roommate has a sex schedule.  And more importantly, no concept of respectful noise levels while they do it.

INFJ:  You finally found that roommate that will just share quiet, peaceful company with you.  You play Okami, and they work on their novel.  You write your essays, and they put on Star Wars.  No words, just good vibes.  However, things have started to get weird since their SO broke up with them.  They adopted a dog without your permission, and they’re taking it back to the shelter tomorrow because a two bedroom apartment isn’t big enough for a greyhound.  They keep asking you to cuddle them, and you are running out of polite ways to say “fuck off”.


Sorry that I missed a few types ..

some nice romance free keith and shiro headcanons

  • shiro was an avid couponer pre-kerberos and used to just give keith sandwich bags full of coupons to use “it’s a 7 boxes for three dollars special on hamburger helper” “shiro i hate hamburger helper”
  • keith is constantly constantly turning the light off when he leaves a room even though shiro is still in there
  • keith and shiro have lots of inside jokes because they knew each other pre-voltron 
  • they have a secret handshake but it’s really embarrassing and keith hates doing it - “you were stranded on an alien ship for a year how do you even remember this”
  • the only person allowed to touch keith’s hair is shiro when he does his patented dad hair ruffle™ 
  • shiro frequently and very loudly expresses his disapproval of keith living in a desert shack alone for a year- “you know because if you live in the desert by yourself like someone i know you might get stung by a scorpion and die like an asshole ” “just say my name shiro everyone knows you’re talking about me”
  • alien: insults shiro - keith: say that again you fucking punk i’ll rip your intestines out so what if you’re 9 feet tall and have laser eyes  - shiro: carrying keith away while keith continues to talk shit
  • shiro feels really shitty a lot of the time but he’s always trying to keep it together, keith knows better so he reminds shiro to get some rest and to eat and stuff 
  • shiro: i didn’t raise you to be this petty keith: actually you did
  • keith is constantly making jokes about not having a family and being an orphan because he Doesn’t Care but he lives for shiro’s scandalized expression
  • when shiro is really mad he calls keith by his first and last name and it instills fear into keith’s very bones
  • keith: roasts someone out of the blue shiro: i apologize on behalf of my son
  • keith is naturally a loner so the other paladins have fun a lot without him and shiro is always trying to get him to join them because he’s a really nice kid and he wants to see him be happy with friends
  • shiro is the only person who 100% knows about keith being autistic and he checks in with him to make sure he’s not overstimulated or on the verge of a meltdown/shutdown
  • shiro has blackmail on keith for embarrassing things he’s done 
  • one of the embarrassing things is crying at the lorax movie 
  • this is his secret weapon but keith never gives him a reason to use it
  • shiro goes out and yells at the others if they’re being too loud and he notices keith getting agitated 
  • shiro tried to do that thing with keith where you put cucumbers on your eyes to decrease puffiness but keith just. ate the cucumber slices.
  • *a really stressful day on the ship* keith: in a bad mood shiro: hands keith a snickers shiro: you’re not you when you’re hungry
  • sometimes when shiro is having a really bad day keith will hug him and he’s really bad at it it’s like having a suitcase placed on your back and it cheers shiro up because he knows keith doesn’t like hugging people or being Soft but he’s trying to make him feel better and shiro appreciates that
  • shiro: hey i saw you smile at lance earlier and-  keith: not. another. word.
  • sometimes keith falls asleep on the couch and shiro picks him up and brings him to his bed and tucks him in
  • shiro keeps trying to teach keith japanese and keith is like “for the last time no i have enough trouble with english” bonus: keith eventually picks up on a few phrases and says them without warning and it makes shiro So Happy
  • when someone says something ridiculous they give each other the Are You Fucking Serious stare
  • “you’re not my dad!” *dramatic gasp* “why did you all do that he’s literally not my dad.”
  • they play checkers a lot
  • keith: shiro i know bigfoot is real i know it shiro: i know buddy
  • shiro, putting a hand on each of keith’s shoulders: calm  
  • shiro: tells a joke keith: haha oh shiro you’re so funny someone else: tells the same joke keith: that was the worst joke i’ve ever heard
  • shiro tries to tell the group jokes and keith always ruins it because he calls out the punchline before anyone else has a chance because he’s heard him tell those jokes so many times
  • keith is constantly revealing minorly embarrassing things about shiro to the others - ”did you guys know shiro loves the song “never gonna give you up” - ”one time shiro bought ten pairs of crocs” - ”one time shiro literally slipped on a banana peel” - ”shiro knows every word of the hannah montana pilot” 
  • keith loves cats and back at the garrison shiro finds keith with like. 9 cats one day bc apparently they’re all his Children and he feeds them secretly and keith is like :0 bc he’s petting like all of the cats at once and shiro has Discovered him and they’re named things like mocha and tetris
  • every time keith backtalks shiro shiro goes “i can’t believe you’re doing this to the guy who brought you to see three days grace four times”
  • keith: kicks an alien’s ass  shiro internally: they grow up so fast
  • they argue a lot because shiro was raised to not wear shoes in the house and keith just. sleeps with his shoes on like a barbarian
  • shiro firmly believes hotdogs are sandwiches and it makes keith so mad one time shiro said that and he just got in his lion and left

So this is the second time that I’ve walked away from you. I’m still not man enough to say hi to you. I’d rather be strangers, it’ll hurt less. I did see something that I haven’t seen in awhile though– your smile. I tried to walk away quick, I hope that you didn’t spot me. I look different now and I dress a little better. Maybe you didn’t recognize me. I hope not. I wanted to say hi, I really did… but I don’t think it’d do me any good. I found out two things a minute later. This shit inside of my chest still finds a way to beat for you and I hate it. It still hurts– I guess a year isn’t long enough. Scattering like birds on a power-line as cars zoom by– I guess I’m still not quite over this. I’m sorry if you knew that I walked away. In that moment? The hard work I put into being a better person… it just went away. I was back to square one– screaming in your face. And that’s why– I gently reminded myself to turn the corner. Maybe one day… I’ll be able to say hello without breaking down into tears. But today?

– It’s not today.

2

vento aureo is pretty good so far….also i found out i really like drawing giorno

Monster AU

“I have a heart, says science, but I am a monster, says society.”

- People with superpowers exist
- Nino can control water, he likes to make bubbles
- Alix can teleport
- Ivan is super strong etc.
- Everyone loves Marinette because she brings good luck and she can even use her powers to create things, she doesn’t use it often though because she has to use a lot of energy to do it and is really tired after
- Adrien though… 
- His parents always hated him and were saying that he is a monster and shouldn’t have been born
- His powers are very dangerous
- He can kill and destroy everything
- One day he accidentally killed someone
- They closed him in some sort of asylum
- But he kept destroying the walls and running away
- Until everyone said fuck it and let him go
- He lives deep in the forest in a small house
- Even though everyone says he’s a dangerous monster, he is very kind and nice
- He wears gloves so no “accidents” happen ever again
- One day, Marinette gets lost in that certain forest
- He saves her from something
- Guess what
- She can touch him 
- She’s the only one living thing in the world that can touch him and not die because of it
- She realizes that he’s not a monster like everyone says, he’s a normal person with feelings
- They fall in love or one of them fall in love with the other one, idk

That’s it for now?? I was inspired mostly by my fav book and a bit of one anime I really like