i really don't want to search through their songs to find out

anonymous asked:

I don't know if anyone has asked this yet, but how would the members of the RFA [+ V and Saeran?] react to the male!MC trying to off himself or, at the very least, purposely inflicting pain on himself? Apologizes if this is way too sensitive to be talked about on here; I've just been daydreaming a bit and was curious about how you'd interpret their reactions.

Hey anon! By “off himself” I’m assuming you mean suicide? This is, of course, a very sensitive topic. I have an urge to make it though, I have a feeling it will be comforting to a lot of people since it shows how much the RFA cares about you (the MC!). I hope you enjoy. This will include suicide themes. Please refrain from reading if it is uncomfortable for you. If you or someone else needs help, please call this number:  1-800-273-8255 . Thank you!

♥ He would be coming home one day from school, ready for your happy greeting and your cuddles, but he comes home to something different.
♥ When you’re not there at the door to kiss him hello, he gets concerned, but he knows you must be here. Maybe it’s a game of hide and seek? He smiles and starts to look for you.
♥ “Honey? Where are you? I’ll be sure to find you!”
♥ When he hears your muffled sobs as he approaches the closed bathroom door, his heart drops. He tries to open the door but to no avail, it’s locked. He starts to cry and smash on the door. He’s screaming at you to open the door.
♥ “Open the door, my love! What’s wrong?!”
♥ When you finally unlock the door, Yoosung bursts in. He nearly vomits when he sees a half empty bottle of pills in your hand. He is sobbing and runs to grab you. He looks in your eyes to see that they’re still vibrant and clear. You’re still here.
♥ He holds you and tells you he loves you, that you’re his blessing, and that you’re the reason why he strives to get through college. He can’t breathe when he calls the hospital. His throat is burning from all the screaming.
♥ During your recovery in the hospital, Yoosung visits every single day and brings you a teddy bear and flower. He’s constantly expressing his appreciation for you from now on. He cannot lose you.

♦ Zen would get home from practice earlier than usual one day and he’s so excited about it! He gets to gain your affection and compliments one hour earlier than usual!!
♦ He runs indoors and calls for you in a sing-song voice. He looks around for you and when he can’t find you anywhere, he gets a little spooked. Where are you?
♦ “Chagiyaaaa~ Where are you?”
♦ Then, he finally hears some sound to indicate that you’re here. The bath water is running. Why are you taking a bath this early in the day? Maybe you want him to join you? ;)
♦ He opens the bathroom door which is unlocked to his surprise. His cheeky smile soon turns to a face of sheer terror as he sees the bathwater run red.
“Zen?! You’re here much earlier than I thought you’d be, what are you doing here?!”
  “I came home early. What are you doing to yourself?”

♦ Small incisions are spread across your arms that are oozing red fluid. Zen grabs your arms and washes the blood off. He grabs the razor in your hand and flushes it down the toilet. He doesn’t care how much you’re screaming for him to not discard the razor, he does it anyway cause he cares for you that much.
♦ After he bandages your wounds, he calls for a therapist/doctor to help you furthermore. During your recovery, Zen kisses each and every scar on your body. He loves you so much and he tells you that every single day.

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shinee as aesthetics/feelings

shinee as aesthetics/feelings

Lee Jinki: That moment when you’re laughing so hard that you start crying. Staying up late at night to watch your favorite TV show or read a book. Eating your favorite food after a long while without doing so. Getting those butterflies when you see a stranger and they’re cute. That moment when you take off your clothes after a long day and it just feels nice. Summer dates with lots of popsicles and music. Relaxing mornings when you just feel like everything is how it is supposed to be. That warmth that goes through your body and makes your heart race when you talk about something that you like a lot. When someone teases you and you just laugh because they’re right. Not wearing any makeup as you lay in your bed with your closest friends and eat whatever you could order for takeout. Doing something and then realizing it was stupid so you laugh at yourself.

Kim Jonghyun: When you listen to that really old song that you used to like and you learn to love it again. That moment when you see a picture from your childhood and you just laugh because it’s ridiculous. Reaching a goal and then being so happy about it because you did it. Looking at things and realizing how the most simplistic of sceneries can hold so much beauty, just like the moon or the sun. Mischievous smiles that hold a joking manner as you get ready to surprise someone. That eye roll thing you do as you smile when someone says something that it’s stupid but you can’t help but think it’s cute because they’re so wrong but they sound right saying it. Pastel colors as a meaning of fluffiness and softness. That feeling you get after a really long, great hug and you just feel like you took a weight out of your shoulders. When you see a really cute puppy/kitten and you can’t help but change your voice.

Kim Kibum: Laughing loudly because it was funny and you can. Wearing your favorite piece of clothing and feeling like it looks so good on you so you feel good with yourself. Doing something great for somebody without expecting anything in return, just because. The sound of water as the waves hit one another when the sunset is barely appearing. Laughing at your mistakes and rolling your eyes when you find out that you’ve changed and it was probably for the better. Having really long conversations about anything and everything with someone that actually listens to your point of view and gives you theirs without hurting any feelings. Eating your favorite dessert and enjoying it to the last bit. Singing your favorite song in public and not giving a damn if someone listens because it’s your song. Travelling, whether it is to that city right beside you or another country, just travelling around the world.

Choi Minho: Running, not for the sake of exercising, but simply because you enjoy it and you want to feel like you can do it all. That moment when a really cute kid passes by you and you smile brightly because they’re cute. Feeling free, like you were just the person you wanted to be and the only one you have to make happy is yourself. Blowing kisses and giving really warm hugs to that person you love. A first time of everything, because it’s never too late to learn. That moment you just sit down to watch your favorite show or just search on the internet and you lost track of time. Not having an answer to everything and laughing when you don’t know what to say. Really big sweaters that cover you completely. Nights of autumn with lots of hot drinks and the smell of cinnamon. Really dumb jokes that make you laugh like an idiot. Looking at your friend as if asking for help when you don’t know what to do.

Lee Taemin: Trying your hardest in everything you do and seeing something come from it. The color white, not exactly for the meaning of purity, but honesty and humility. That moment when your heart feels warm when you look at what you’ve created in your life and you’re truly thankful. Variety, not letting a concept take over your life as you try everything and anything just for the sake of looking for that special aura of yours. Eating a lot after a long week and just smiling to yourself because everything just tastes amazing. Those really quiet laughs that go unnoticed but are the most pure and beautiful. Fingers going through each other’s hair to soothe the other’s pain, showing love and support. A look in someone’s eyes that shows determination and mystery, the best of everything in just a pair of eyes. Slow, melodic songs with some hidden message behind them, a meaning that no one will ever know.

5- v) You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

For almost a year, Nico had lived in an apartment near the highway and airport. About three months in, the apartment across from him was thankfully vacated. A very troublesome couple had lived there and woken Nico on several nights. He had hope that it would remain empty, but about two weeks later, someone else moved in.

Nico remembered leaving for work when he bumped into someone carrying a box at the top of the stairs. “Oh, shit, sorry,” he said holding his hands out to steady the mover. His eyes came up to his face and he found himself dumbstruck by bright blue eyes and a galaxy of freckles. “Uh, hi. Moving in?”

“Yep,” he breathed, using a hand to brush away some hair from his face before steadying the box again. “You’re a neighbor I assume?”

Nico gestured to his door. “Right across.”

“Oh,” he said with a smile. “I guess I’ll be seeing you a lot then.”

Nico smiled and nodded. “I’d offer to help you move in, but I’m actually on my way to work right now. If you need anything, uh… well, I’m right there. I’m Nico.”

“Will,” he answered as he hefted the box. “I’d shake your hand, but….” Nico laughed and nodded. “See you around, Nico.” He smiled again, dimples and all, and disappeared into his apartment.

Ever since, Nico would smile at him as he left for work and if he ever ran into him on a night when he went out. He didn’t have the guts to go over and actually talk to him, so they kept it that way. For many months, Nico wasn’t sure what his neighbor did for a living. He never saw him with a uniform or a badge or nametag. If anything he’d catch him in black sweats at night, getting into his small car and driving away. Nico assumed he went running.

Still, even with only smiles as their only interaction, Nico couldn’t help but look forward to seeing him anytime he left. He had one of those rare smiles, the sincere ones. The kind of smile that seemed to be made of not only his lips, but his entire beautiful face. The dimples, the crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way even the sun glinted of his blond hair a little brighter, the position of his eyebrows, and his teeth which had one of the front teeth slightly chipped. It was the smile that made Nico’s day.

It was the smile that kept him daydreaming about the day he’d finally try to talk to him while his friends made bachelor party plans.

“Nico!” Leo snapped. Nico blinked. “Pay attention dude.”

“Sorry, what is it?”

“So I was thinking,” he said, obviously annoyed with having to repeat himself, “We play a little prank on Percy. You know how strippers are a must?” Nico nodded, bored. All of his friends were straight and hence, Nico never indulged in their nights out. He didn’t care for naked girls. “What if we get guy strippers?”

Nico sat up a little straighter, causing Jason to laugh. “Dude, don’t get too excited,” he joked.

Nico flipped him off. “Why would you do that?”

“Because it’s a joke. Male strippers and then the real thing. Besides, that way you can enjoy yourself a bit too.” Nico rolled his eyes. “What do you think?”

“I mean, you’re the planner.”

“He’s in,” Jason spoke for him. “If he wasn’t, he would’ve shut it down right away.”

“Awesome,” Leo said with a mischievous smile.

A week later, he was getting into his car to drive over to Leo’s house for Percy’s bachelor party. It had started simple enough, a few beers, all of Percy’s guy friends, chips and sports on T.V. Then Leo shut everything off and seated Percy in a single chair in the center of the living room. Nico decided to go to the back of the room, drinking his beer as he watched with amusement.

“Dude, I told you no strippers. Annabeth is going to be so pissed off if she finds out.”

“One, she won’t find out, two, if she does she’ll be mad at me, and three, she won’t be mad. Trust me.” Everyone kept the center clear for Percy as Leo opened the door. A small group of guys walked in and immediately, the partygoers burst into laughter and hoots.

Nico smiled to himself and shook his head as he turned away. He could hear Percy’s protestations as a sensual song reverberate through the room, and clothes began to be discarded. The others egged Percy on, and Nico assumed someone was dancing on him.

“Hey, what are you doing back here?” Jason asked when he noticed Nico. “I know this is for Percy, but since you’re the only gay guy here, I’m pretty sure we can get you a lap dance too.” Nico rolled his eyes and smiled.

“No, it’s alright.”

“Fine, but you should at least come see Percy’s face. It’s priceless.” Without waiting for his response, Jason pushed him toward the others until he could see Percy who was covering his face as a dancer straddled him. Nico laughed and whistled.

“Hey! There he is!” Leo announced. “Hey guys, that one over there is actually into guys, give him a treat too!”

The dancer on top of Percy turned and when he did, the blood drained from Nico’s face. He gasped so loud, he started choking on his spit. He was looking at the freckled face with blue eyes and blond hair that he’d greeted almost daily, only now, all he was wearing were very tight briefs and a bit of liner to accent his eyes.

Will recognized him too, of course, and he immediately got off of Percy and stumbled back. His coworkers started for him, but his eyes never left Nico.

“Nico?” Jason asked beside him. “What’s wrong?” Nico reached out blindly for the beer in Jason’s hand and he tipped it back, chugging greedily. “Dude,” he whined.

“I’ll be back,” he muttered. He rushed to the bathroom as the others got over the awkwardness and Leo let in the real strippers.

Will really didn’t seem the… sexual type. He was so innocent looking with his gentle smile and soothing soft voice and modest clothes. God…. All those months and Nico had never even had the suspicion of him being… a stripper.

He steadied his breaths and braced himself for returning to the party. He’d overheard Leo inviting the male strippers to stay and enjoy the party, but Nico wasn’t sure if they would or if they were allowed. He left the bathroom and started for the drinks again, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get so drunk he would forget what just happened.

As he did, someone in black sweats stood next to him. Nico knew who it was before he even spoke. “Hey, neighbor,” he greeted nervously.

Nico glanced at him and blushed. “Hey. You’re fully dressed.”

“Yep,” Will answered, blushing further, his freckles becoming more prominent. “God, this is awkward.”

“Yep,” Nico agreed, popping the ‘p.’ He took a breath and cleared his throat. “So…. Small world…. You’re a stripper?” He had to choke out the last word.

Will began to tug at the hair at the nape of his neck anxiously. His eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah,” he said softly. Nico realized the blush in his cheeks wasn’t du to embarrassment; it was due to shame.

Immediately, he searched for something to say to make it better. “It’s not bad,” he assured. “It just…. I didn’t expect to see my neighbor giving one of my best friends a lap dance.” He laughed awkwardly as Will managed a smile. He bit his lip an added, “I’ve kind of been wanting to find a way to talk to you…. I didn’t think it’ be like this but, hey. Talk about an ice breaker.”

Will burst into laughter and somehow it was even better than his smile. He rubbed his arm and shrugged. “Medical school is pretty expensive. This is the only job that works with my schedule, gives me few hours, and offers a huge pay. And I know the manager, so it won’t go on record.”

“Well, you’ve got the body. May as well flaunt it,” Nico told him with a smile. “Really, it’s fine.”

Will turned and leaned against the table. “So you said you’ve been wanting to talk to me, huh?” He smiled that smile that Nico had accustomed to seeing, and butterflies burst in Nico’s stomach.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

anonymous asked:

gallavich prompt: can you do something where one of them has an accident and forgets who the other is? :)

// ok I’ve given this my best shot…it’s a total standalone, full on oneshot, completely unrelated to my gallavich queer club universe (but trust me there is lots more of that coming!) enjoy //

‘Im sorry Mr Gallagher but he has amnesia.’

Ian sighed. 'But he’s going to remember? It’ll come back?’

'We can’t know anything for certain. I don’t want to promise something that may not happen. You’re free to visit him now, though. He’s awake.’

So Ian walked slowly down the corridor, breathing in the harsh chemical smell of the hospital. He just wanted to get to the room and see Mickey, yet he walked slower than ever. He knew that every step he took was a step closer to discovering something terrible.

'Can I come in?’, he called, knocking on the door. The man in the bed frowned at him, confused.

'I think you have the wrong room, man,’ he said, shrugging blankly.

Ian’s heart almost stopped. 'Mickey. It’s me. It’s Ian’, he whispered, shocked.

Mickey’s eyes widened. 'How the fuck do you know my name?’, he said, his tone suspicious and body inching away from Ian in caution, who had now entered the room.

Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because I have loved you for just shy of eight years.’

'I’m not a fucking fag,’ Mickey spat aggressively, but his eyes were fearful.

'You’ve got to be kidding me,’ Ian muttered incredulously. Mickey had reverted back to how he was before coming out. Before even knowing Ian. He walked up close to Mickey and got up close, the words falling slowly but piercingly out of his mouth. 'I don’t know what year you think you’re in, but back in 2014, you came out. You practically screamed it. Your dad beat the shit out of us, but we won. We went home and showered together and we didn’t fuck that night. We kissed with our broken faces and just lay side by side all night. Toe to toe, head to head. I held you. I kissed away your tears. And then, Mickey, then you rested your ear over my chest and you fell asleep listening to my heartbeat.’ Mickey was staring at him, paralysed. Ian wondered if he’d gone too far, but he didn’t stop. 'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because I can’t count the number of times I’ve fucking screamed out your name each time you coaxed my body into an orgasm…which you reciprocated nicely, might I add. Usually I top. But liking what you like don’t make you a bitch, isn’t that right?’

'I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but you need to shut your fucking mouth,’ Mickey practically whimpered. Then Ian calmed down a little. He realised that this wasn’t Mickey’s fault. So he spoke softly and less aggressively.

'I know your name, Mickey Milkovich, because six months ago, we got married. In the park here in Chicago. Our sisters were bridesmaids. Your brothers didn’t show up. But mine became yours. Lip was my best man. Kev was yours. And Yev was ring bearer. Your son - our son.’ Mickey was speechless. 'He’s almost five. And these are the rings he carried down the aisle to us,’ Ian said, holding up his hand to show the thick, plain silver band snug on his fourth finger. Then he tentatively reached out to run his thumb over Mickey’s identical ring. Mickey instinctively snatched his hand away like Ian’s touch burned him. 'In your vows, you told me that you loved me beyond any and all things. And you told me again later, when it was just us, because I still couldn’t believe it. It felt like a dream. Because I love you too, Mickey. So, so much,’ Ian told him, tears in his eyes, desperate. He clasped Mickey’s hand now and held on, his husband’s hand, the hand he knew better than his own, as he cried silently.

Mickey stared at their hands, fingering the ring on his finger, frowning. 'I don’t know where to even begin…they told me I had some amnesia but…how could I forget so much? There’s just, years and years missing. Years with you, apparently. You don’t seem like the sort of guy I could forget’, he whispered.

Ian raised his eyebrows. 'Was that - are you flirting?’ he almost laughed.

Mickey looked away awkwardly. 'Look, I know I’m gay. I’ve always known. I never kiss guys. Don’t want them to get attached…well. I don’t want to get attached to them, honestly.’

'You kiss me plenty. All of that playing-it-straight crap went to shit after a couple years with me.’

'Am I really married? To you?’ Ian reached for his wallet.

'I’ll bring more pictures from home, tomorrow - but I always have this one with me. This is us. Last May.’ Ian showed him the little rectangular picture.

'We look good,’ Mickey remarked, but the two men in tuxes with matching grins looked like strangers to him. There was a pause. 'Do I really have a kid?’

'Yes. He’s here,’ Ian said, flipping the pockets of the wallet over and revealing a photo from a year or so ago, of Yev sat on the couch at Ian and Mickey’s place. 'Yevgeny. We all call him Yev.’

'What kind of a -’


'Why?’ Ian considered how to answer. 'Who’s his mother?’

Ian sighed. 'It’s a long story. I’ll tell you another day.’ Mickey didn’t persist.

'How did we meet?’

Ian smiled. 'It was 2011. We were still living out our teenage years, though yours were nearly over. You thought I’d - hurt your sister and you just burst into the shop where I used to work, screaming out my name. Wouldn’t be the last time you did that…anyway. We didn’t really meet until I came to your place one morning. We started out fighting, pretty hard, but then you pinned me down and - I just remember our eyes locked and we just stared at each other, and we just knew. And then we were just doing it. Fucking in your twin bed. I was fifteen. Shit.’ He sighed. 'We kept hooking up in secret. Always rushing through the sex. Terrified of getting discovered. That was more you than me, but still. We didn’t even kiss for, like, two years. Not that I didn’t try. But we used to flirt shamelessly. That was more me than you. You were nothing like anyone I’d ever known. I didn’t think you could exist. But you did. Eventually you seemed to just accept that you wanted me and you weren’t going to deny yourself pleasure anymore. It was literally destroying you, Mick.’


Ian had gone to get them both coffee. On the walk back, he reflected. It was still unbelievable. And unfair. But when hadn’t things been with them? He didn’t know how he could tell Mickey everything. Svetlana. Terry. His bipolar. The accident. How could everything about them have been wiped clean out of his head?

As he returned, he was broken out of these thoughts by Mickey’s voice ringing down the corridor. He was…singing? Ian listened.

'And I don’t want the world to see me, cos I don’t think that they’d understand’, Mickey sang, scratchy but pure.

Ian stood in the doorway, frozen. Mickey noticed. 'Are you ok?’, he asked.

'Mick…why were you singing that song?’, he asked in a choked whisper.

Mickey shrugged. 'I don’t actually know. I seem to remember it from somewhere. And it’s - it’s nice. I guess,’ he said, puzzled. 'Why?’

Ian stepped inside the room slowly. 'That was the song we danced to at our wedding. It’s our song, it’s our fucking song’, he said, then sang the next line, voice shaking, 'when everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.’

They didn’t say anything. They just stared at each other, both searching for things that the other didn’t know how to give.

Mickey slowly slipped off the ring and held it. 'So I can remember our wedding song but not the wedding’, he murmured bitterly.

Ian noticed Mickey’s eyes fill with tears. He knew him well enough to know that any second he would begin crying. He walked over and held Mickey, not caring if the gesture was too sudden - if his husband was crying, he was going to comfort him. Sure enough, Mickey gave a loud sob, then tears fell down his face as he began to cry. Ian absentmindedly stroked his neck, planted little kisses in his hair; it was second nature. 'Sorry,’ he said after a moment, worrying Mickey would react adversely to the affection.

Mickey shook his head. 'It’s fine. It’s - nice. That’s not it.’

'Then what?’

'It’s just…I want to remember it, all of it. Not only for my sake but for yours too, this isn’t fair to either of us’, Mickey sobbed.

Ian nodded. 'I know. I know’, he said, feeling tears sting his own eyes. After everything they’d been out through, this just felt like the sickest, most fucked up twist of fate.

Mickey slowly turned and looked at Ian. He had somehow ended up curled against Ian’s chest, a familiar position. They were so close; Ian could feel his breath on his neck and it took all the strength he had not to kiss Mickey. It was too soon, it was too soon, he kept telling himself.

But then Mickey reached up, slowly, tracing the outline of Ian’s face. Tentative at first, then coming to cradle Ian’s face in his palm. Mickey’s eyes fell to his lips.

'Oh fuck,’ Ian murmured, and gave in. He kissed him hard, and then Mickey returned the kiss, deepened it. Ian’s hands ran through Mickey’s hair and they really tasted each other. Ian couldn’t get enough of him, no matter how familiar he was. That was the beauty of it.

'Your kiss. I’ve had it before’, Mickey said breathlessly.

Ian smiled. 'My lips are clearly a pretty unforgettable experience’, he smiled through his tears. Mickey laughed.


Mickey had fallen asleep in his arms and Ian had stayed, holding him. It reminded him of old times, before the accident. They lay together on the bed, Ian breathing in the same old smell. The blood and the hospital couldn’t erase it; it was, unmistakably, home.

'Ian? Are you awake?’, he whispered.

Ian looked down at his husband. 'Yeah. I’m here.’

'I just want to say. I’m - I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be’, he said.

'It’s not your fault’, Ian began, but Mickey cut across -

'regardless. I’m sorry. And when the doctor sees me tomorrow, I’m going to find out how I can beat this thing - if I can. If I can’t, well…’, he trailed off, unsure what would happen.

'Then we’ll work through it. I vowed to take you in sickness and in health’, Ian reminded him. 'God knows you’ve done that for me. Look, I love you, Mickey. I will always love you. And I know you’ve forgotten how to love me, but I’ll remind you. I want you to remember, to feel it all again’, he whispered, kissing his neck.

Mickey smiled. 'Thank you, firecrotch,’ he muttered as his eyes closed, drifting back into sleep.

Ian’s heart jolted and he closed his eyes, grinning, as more tears came. 'You’re on your way back, aren’t you,’ he whispered, kissing Mickey’s forehead gently. He didn’t think his old nickname had ever made him cry before.

But that was their relationship. Expect the unexpected. Always.

// the end! PLEASE keep sending me prompts, I gotta write every day this month! //

Maximoff Twins: Story Playlist

I wanted to make my own playlist but I also wanted the songs to tell a story. So here you go. If you need me I’ll be over here in the garbage can surrounded by what I am. 

1. The Last of Us - Pietro and Wanda’s lives are turned upside down when their parents die and they are forced to hide under a bed for 3 days.

2. BudapestThe twins travelling as orphans exploring the strange new world of the open road.

3. Cool Kids - Pietro and Wanda have become outcasts and wonder what it would be like to be normal kids again as they watch a group of children play in the streets.

4. Uprising - The Twins have grown up and join in local riots against the government.

5. All Gone (No Escape) - Pietro and Wanda have joined Hydra and are experimented on day after day going through immense pain and finding comfort only in the precious few moments they are allowed to be together.

6. Run On – Pietro and Wanda experience their new powers for the first time resulting in a massive amount of comical clumsiness.

7.Team – The Twins are have come out of the experiments with a new found confidence in their strange abilities and are now closer than ever to one another.

8. Undisclosed Desires – Pietro contemplating how much Wanda has suffered and changed and how much he wants to protect her. He wants to help her achieve her “undisclosed desire” of getting revenge on Stark in order to “reconcile the violence in her heart”. (some of the lyrics obviously don’t fit but the melody is cool and some of the phrases are spot on)

9. Starlight – Pietro comforting Wanda when she mentions her fear about working with Ultron as they stargaze in a rare moment of calm.

10. View From The Voyager – The twins have found out Ultron’s plan and contemplate the circumstances in their life that have brought them to this difficult crossroad. They finally make the decision to join the Avengers walking hand in hand towards the unknown.

11.  Butterflies and Hurricanes - Pietro to himself as he makes the decision to save Clint.

12.  Let Me Fall – Pietro (telepathically) to Wanda as she begins to understand his intentions to put his life on the line.

13.  Feast of Starlight – (from 1:20-2:40 in the vid) The moment Pietro is shot and Wanda’s screams of agony fill the air as she falls to the ground destroying everything around her. All the avengers stop for a moment caught off guard by such a heartbreaking sound.

14.  Hurt – Wanda’s theme as she spies her brother’s bullet ridden body on the ship and runs screaming and crying to cradle his motionless body in her arms.

15.  Tears Of An Angel – Wanda as Clint is explaining what happened.

16.  Running Up That Hill – Wanda wishing she could have traded places with Pietro.  

17.  Puzzle – Wanda to Vision. She wants Vision to lie to her and tell her that Pietro never died and that they don’t live in a world ruled by fear. She also tries to make sense of the feelings she has for Vision.

18.  My Immortal – Wanda is still haunted by the death of Pietro months after the incident.

19.  Sacrifice – Wanda contemplates Pietro’s sacrifice and promises him that they will meet again someday in the afterlife.

20.  Wipe Your Eyes – Pietro is brought back to life and promises he will never leave Wanda again as he wipes the tears from her eyes.

21.  Hey Brother – The twins theme as they look knowingly at each other, no words needed, as they head out on the road once again in search of a new life.

Lipstick and Cherry Wine (TTAL Part 11)

I knew it was her as soon as her hands pushed the big doors open. I could sense her, smell her. Fuck her scent is intoxicating, I almost completely forgot about it.

She looks like shit, apparently she fixed up a bit, but lipstick and leather tights can only do so much. Although, she looks a hundred times hotter than any other woman in here.

I follow her with my eyes until she hops up into a barstool. My blood boils when I see the bartender flirt with her the moment he opens his stupid mouth.

Man, let the woman breath!

I see her nod and smile at him and I just wanna go there and rip the guy’s throat out, but I can’t, she’s here to get me, Sam will walk through those doors any minute now…

He never does.

Keep reading

Cinema Bizarre - Final Attraction Sentence Starters
  • "The curtain's closed."
  • "No way home."
  • "These tainted words, made to hurt, cut in me with it's knife."
  • "This place is a mess."
  • "Love songs. They kill me."
  • "I never thought they'd get me."
  • "I'm already dead."
  • "I just cannot bear to hear another word."
  • "You've always been just like a riddle."
  • "I find you so hard to figure out."
  • "Still, there's something I don't know about."
  • "I don't know what you've been through."
  • "I see it on you."
  • "How does it feel?"
  • "Let me in."
  • "It's now or never."
  • "It never gets any better."
  • "I need to know."
  • "I was walking in the shadows, so nobody cared."
  • "You smiled at me from the distance."
  • "All these memories, they come back when I'm asleep."
  • "You've taken my dreams."
  • "All I want is you to be with me."
  • "Here I am."
  • "All these words have lost their meaning."
  • "I just hope you hear my silent scream."
  • "I took you to my darkest places, so far away from the skies."
  • "We made vows to not let go."
  • "Where are you now?"
  • "Imagination can take you far."
  • "Turn into something."
  • "Go put on something black."
  • "And everybody feeling sexy say 'yeah!'"
  • "I've got a billion other tricks up my sleeve."
  • "I am too much."
  • "I don't believe in miracles. I never did."
  • "Nothing ever happens here."
  • "I long for something mystical."
  • "I'm not gonna live forever."
  • "I don't believe in fairy tales. Too cynical."
  • "I just can't be like you."
  • "Send myself to outer space, a better place."
  • "I'm sick and tired of this so-called life."
  • "I toss and turn in my bed all night."
  • "Am I the only one who finds no peace?"
  • "What are you waiting for?"
  • "Escape to the stars."
  • "Feeling so free, just you and me."
  • "Chasing a dream, all that we need is to believe."
  • "I've always been one to speak my mind."
  • "Take on the system or leave it behind, and you will find a new reality."
  • "No one else is around."
  • "Bittersweet memories."
  • "There's just one miracle that's left of this love."
  • "After the rain, I still see heaven crying."
  • "I still feel no relief."
  • "Everything we used to be and used to feel, it all becomes so frighteningly real..."
  • "What happened to our dreams?"
  • "Two weeks have passed since she/he last asked me for an answer."
  • "And any minute she'll/he'll back to ask me if I've got the answer now."
  • "She/he waits for me."
  • "You've got everything you need to make it on your own."
  • "You're still thinking about the way we could have been."
  • "I'm putting pressure on my wounds to stop the bleeding, but I'm passing out."
  • "You're the devil and you bring me down."
  • "Don't want to tell you about the way I really feel."
  • "Everyday I just dream away to another world."
  • "I know what they're thinking."
  • "I don't believe in anything if you're not with me."
  • "I'm a mess inside."
  • "There's nothing left to fight for."
  • "I am what I am."
  • "You are what you are."
  • "We live different lives."
  • "No whining."
  • "This life can be amazing."
  • "This is the way we are."
  • "Break your chains, open your mind for more."
  • "We dance on the edge of the sky where no one dares to go."
  • "I'm a threat to myself."
  • "No wonder what I've become."
  • "I'm getting older, more strange."
  • "I'm going insane."
  • "You get what you see."
  • "I'm my own worst rival."
  • "I'm a trouble making rebel, made the deal with the devil."
  • "I'm way past ever coming back."
  • "Sometimes I feel like I'm not the only one when I see what I've become."
  • "I'm not anybody, don't you cry for me."
  • "I'm just from a dysfunctional family."
  • "A hundred million miles from home."
  • "My only company, the stars."
  • "Close your eyes, it's all pretend."
  • "Let them know you're heavensent."
  • "You and me, we're not like them."
  • "I was betrayed."
  • "I'm in too deep."
  • "I can't believe anyone."
  • "Will you take what's left of me?"
  • "Reanimate my trust in faith."
  • "You saved my soul, but you made my heart go blind."
  • "My devils rage inside."
  • "There's no escape."
  • "I'm so afraid."
  • "Search deep down inside and heal the pain."
  • "This is the silent place."
  • "This is the silent place, where people speak but cannot hear."
  • "This is the silent place, where millions die and no one cares."
  • "This is the world that we have built."
  • "This is a silent place, a place to fix the agony."
  • "A place for you but not for me."
  • "All we need is fantasy."
8 months later part 2

Hey guys! I was really happy to see that some of you liked the story, so I decided to write a part two. From the beginning I thought it would just be one short story, but I got so many ideas so it might come out more chapters after this one, if you would like it to.


Part one: http://jackieswift.tumblr.com/post/156452687077/8-months-later


*Adam’s pov*

I sat there with a finish message and was just about to send it to her. When I remembered that I wasn’t the only guy she had liked during 2016. When she broke up with me she started dating Tom Hiddleston just a few weeks or maybe a month after. I was so destroyed at this point. The love of my life didn’t give me a chance to win her back, she showed me and the whole world that she was the winner of the break up when she was seen together with him. At first I thought it was a sick joke, my Taylor wouldn’t do that. Then, when I heard he had bought her a ring and she turned him down and he couldn’t stand it, it was over between them and maybe I had a chance. I didn’t knew if the whole story was true. But the first time I heard it, I hoped it was. Because if she turned the ring down she might still have feelings for me. My friends gossiped a lot about it, and Tom said something about don’t believe everything you read, but at the same time, they broke things off right after that.

I read the message again “Dear Taylor. I just saw your video and must say congratulations. The song is great, the video is too and you know when we first started dating, and how you were very insecure about your body, I’m happy you’re over it now. Because even though we are over, I still stand behind my words. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve met in my life. You seem to be so happy, and I’m really glad for you. I really wish you the best. I know this might come as a shock to you, but Taylor I miss you so fucking much. I can’t stop thinking about you. And if you wrote this song about me, which I really hope you did, please give me a call. -Adam”

I couldn’t send it. What if the song was about Tom. “Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life”, that could totally be about Tom, or at least if he really was ready to propose and she turned him down. If she thought she loved him, but that it was too early. If he really gave her a “now or never” and she decided to go with never, because it was too early to call him the love of her life. She actually called me that, so maybe the song isn’t about me. And why would she see me around in all the empty faces when she met Tom right after we broke up. What if she replies something like “Hey Adam, good to hear from you. That’s so nice of you and I’m happy everything turned out great for you too. I’m sorry, but the song isn’t about you. I really miss you though, what do you say about two friends grabbing a coffee sometime next week? -Taylor”. Taylor is too nice to just be writing “Haha that ego, no it’s not about you.” but still. It’s a big chance the song isn’t about me and then I know it’s over for real. Then I know she will never be mine again. So maybe it’s best to think that I have a chance, because at least that give me some hope.

I deleted it. I couldn’t do this to myself. Taylor is probably having a part and is celebrating with her friends and everything. Why should I ruin her night? I still love her, so I can’t do that. That text message would make her so sad if the song is about Tom. Because if I had sent it and the song was about Tom, she would have to break my heart again. And I know that would break her too.

*Gigi’s pov*

I was sitting in Zayn’s lap. Feeling so happy. I’m only 21 years old, but I have found the one guy I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I had him right in front of me and I was so proud over him most of the times, but tonight I was a bit extra proud. Because my bestfriend and boyfriend had realised a song together and the music video was hot, mysterious, but still no kissing and nothing too much. “I love you so much” I whispered to Zayn. “I love you too babe. You know you are the most beautiful girl in the world right” he said and made me blush. I kissed him and heard how Taylor excused herself from the room. “Do you think she’s okay?” I whispered to Zayn when she was gone. “I have no idea, why do you ask?”. I gave him a serious look and then said “The song honey, it’s about Adam.”

OHH GUYS, was the first thing I thought to be honest. I loved this man more than anything in the world, but still he didn’t knew the story that he was telling in his song. He didn’t knew the song was about Adam.

“Adam?” he asked a bit confused. “Yeah, that guy you called di*khead on twitter, remember” I answered as I rolled my eyes. He started to laugh, “oh you mean Calvin Harris. I totally forgot his real name is Adam.” I started to smile, to me Calvin was Adam, but I remembered that because of their twitter fight me and Taylor hung out with out the boys most of the times. They met and hung out a few times, but still I got where it all came from. “I think I need to go and check on her” I said and kissed Zayn one last time before I started walking away.

I walked up, and asked pretty quiet “Taylor, where are you?” and didn’t get an answer. I walked to Taylor’s bedroom, and then I heard the sound I hated the most. The sound of someone crying their eyes out. I walked against the noise and it took me to her bathroom. “Taylor open up” I said with a pretty calm voice. “No, go back to Zayn. Have a great evening. I don’t wanna ruin this for you two. So go and have fun.” she answered.

“Open that damn door, I’m not going anywhere” I said, when she finally opened up I saw three bottles stand in front of her, one with red wine, another with whiskey and the last one with champagne. It smelled terrible in the bathroom. And when I lifted the bottles I realised it was a lot left, but still, she had been drinking so much more than her body could handle. I might need to take her to the hospital was my first thought. “What the hell?” I said and even more tears started streaming down from her cheeks. “Why did you do this to yourself?” I asked her while I tried to wipe her tears away. She laid down over my lap and said “He should have sent the text” I finally got up my phone and called Zayn so he could get a driver. But at the same time I started wondering about her words. The signals goes away….”ADAM” I said and Zayn answered “no, Zayn?”. “Babe I need you to fix a cab and a driver. FAST” I know he can hear it in my voice, that I’m worried. “What happened?” he asked fast. “It’s Taylor, she needs to get to the hospital.” Right away he hung up and I know that he tries to get a driver as fast as possible. “Gigi, I hate that I still love him. Did he have to do that?” Taylor said and then passed out in my lap. “Taylor, what did he do” I tried to ask, but it was impossible to get any connection with her.

I take up my phone and go to contacts and search for Adam. Click on text message and then writes in “What the hell did you do?” and click on send before I even thought it through…


Do you want another chapter so you can find out what happens with Taylor and how Adam will respond?

thepolyglotgirl  asked:

Hello. I hope you don't mind, but do you know of any good resources for learning ASL?

No problem at all!

The majority of my ASL comes from self-studying (though practicing often with two Deaf friends I had was crucial), so hopefully I’ll be able to provide some good resources!

Firstly, I think it’s important to say that the way I learned ASL is at the beginning is largely through vocab acquisition. I think most people learning ASL start off signing with very English word order and structure, and over time as you get exposed to grammatical aspects as well as aspects of ASL that I hesitate to mark as grammar—it might be more appropriate to say that it is style instead—you get away from English. So if you want to just start off translating a song word for word (as I see many people on YouTube doing) by using a dictionary and practicing that way, that would work! That’s kind of how I fell in love with the language. Though it’s very important to say that this type of signing is not ASL but rather something like SEE (Signing Exact English).

With that said, onto the resources:


Amazing website. This is how I got started with ASL. You can use their dictionary for words you want to know as well as lessons which can be found here to get you going. I like this one because, although the focus is mainly on vocab, there are some very important grammatical lessons (body shifting, what to do with your eyebrows with questions or in general, topicalization, non-manual markers, etc.).


Huge dictionary: you will see on the left a series of dictionaries, of which I really have only used the Main Dictionary page, but the Phrase Dictionary looks awesome for absorbing aspects of grammar. This dictionary is a must.


Another ASL dictionary. Apparently there are better features for paying members, but I’ve never paid for it and it’s useful nonetheless.


Another dictionary. Not much to say about this one besides that it could be a good resource.


Obviously awesome resource if you want to look something up, such as something about the grammar, a word that you can’t find in the dictionaries, and so on.


Also amazing resource because you can get tons of exposure to a variety of styles of signing. ASL has a huge amount of variation with style, with some people using English word order and words like to be and the and then others whose signing does not resemble English whatsoever. Most people are somewhere in the middle, but because ASL isn’t incredibly unified you are going to see a lot of variation in terms of vocabulary, how ideas are expressed, and so on. Basically just search anything with ‘Deaf’ in it, ASL storytelling, ASL lessons, etc. and you will find some helpful resources. I have a YouTube channel that you can get to by clicking here that may be of some help to you! I post occasional ASL videos (in ASL with English captions) and, though I am not a native signer, most Deaf people I have met didn’t realize I wasn’t deaf until I said it directly, so I probably sign moderately well?

Signing Naturally book series

Though these books are old and not organized in the best fashion, it’s a good resource for picking up grammatical aspects of ASL. I’m not the biggest fan of it but I’ve spent a lot of time dissecting the stories and scenarios (storytelling is a huge part of ASL and you will be seeing it and hearing about it all the time if you learn ASL), though I don’t think I really went through the third book. They really need to get on updating those books.

Some things to consider:

Because most of the resources I have put here are pretty old, many of the signs are outdated. That’s why it’s important not only to search words in multiple dictionaries but also to ask signers. All Deaf people I have met are very willing to help out.

I would highly recommend you take a class after you’ve got the basics of ASL down. I spent the first semester of my first year of college self-studying, and then I took ASL 4 (I was more appropriate for the advanced ASL discussion course but they felt uncomfortable letting me skip 4-5 classes and it was already hard enough to convince them to get me into level 4, but anyway). Like I said, getting exposure from a variety of signers is important, and teachers at higher levels generally use very beautiful, interesting, and helpful styles of signing. 

Taking a class also exposes you to Deaf culture, which is a HUGE part of ASL learning. Like, you just HAVE to learn the culture along with ASL. The language and the culture are so tied together, so much of ASL poetry (most interesting and beautiful thing in the fucking world, let me tell you) and storytelling have to do with Deaf people’s experiences, struggles, and so on. Even the history is interesting to learn—and I can’t stand history except for that of Deaf people—and much of it is about discrimination, audism, Deaf pride, Deaf vs. deaf, Deaf rights, etc. 

It is very common for people to use what is called Simultaneous Communication (SimCom), which is basically signing and talking at the same time. I do it all the time with one of my best friends who is Deaf but hears and speaks well because of cochlear implants and speech therapy. The signing obviously becomes more English, so I would recommend avoiding this type of signing so as to learn “real” ASL (i.e. signing without speaking), but, since this is a very common means of communication, you might want to get used to it too, depending on who you interact with.

Kind of similar, but there is a wide variety of degrees to which people mouth the English translation of their signs. For some, they literally just mouth the English sentence while they sign, which is more or less SimCom but without voicing. For others, it is most of the individual words that they are signing such that, if you took the words mouthed and put that into a sentence, it wouldn’t be grammatical (or maybe even understandable) in English. Still others only do it for some words and in particular not when you have some kind of non-manual marker (I might make a post or a video going into greater detail about this later). And finally, there are some who do not mouth anything and use only non-manual markers—you will find this most often in storytelling and not often in casual conversation or even a classroom or professional setting. This mostly depends on one’s background with signing, how fluent they are in the native, etc.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something but I hope this helps to some extent! Of course, if you (or anyone else) has any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me and I will try my best!

Romanogers || Lost and Found

There’s always “a first"–a first glance, a first laugh, a first kiss, a first, ‘I love you,’ and now, this. The once steady pulse of Steve’s thumping heart gradually began to climb. She knows you have never done this before; she knows everything. So why are you still so afraid? Notes from Marvin Gaye’s "Distant Lover” drifted through the air like snowflakes slowly falling to the ground, but the cool, nostalgic melody of the piece was not enough to sooth Steve’s mounting state of concern. Sam said Marvin should get things up-and-running, so why isn’t it working? You’re gonna ruin this for both you and her. Stop thinking so much and just do it. But his thoughts muzzled the desires of his heart. They held him tightly in their grasp, desperately fighting to keep him paralyzed. I want this. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Get out of your head, Rogers. Why can’t you just let go?

           The dull, jumping flame of the candles illuminated the furrowed lines of his brow, allowing Natasha to notice his unease. “Steve,” she lifted the back of her head up from her pillow and propped herself with her forearms, “You’ve been straddling  me for a minute straight, now. All the blood is starting to rush to my head.” She carefully leaned her back against the mahogany headboard. “You okay?”

           Steve released a heavy sigh and brought his leg over and away from Natasha, allowing her to move freely. He crawled next to her and mimicked her position. The frigid headboard clashed against the warmth of his skin causing a chill to run down his spine. After a long, contemplative pause, he managed to blurt out, “I just don’t want to disappoint you, Nat.”

           Slowly, she turned to face him. Her eyes studied the intensity of his gaze. The flush of his cheeks. The dilation of his pupils. The creased lines that had formed between his brows.

           "You won’t disappoint me.“

           "But what if I do?”

           "Then I’ll pack my bags and leave.“


           "Steve,“ she appeared amused, "I’m only joking. But if you start crying during it or some weird shit like that, I might just have to–” As she gazed at him, she caught a look of alarm, rather than a look of amusement. “Look at me,” she said.

           He angled himself towards her. His eyes hesitantly rose until they leveled with hers.

           "I only want to do this if you do. There’s no need to rush anything.“ Gently, she nudged him in the side with her elbow. "We’re in this together, aren’t we?”

           He breathed a sigh of relief.

           "Come here.“ Natasha motioned for Steve to come sit between her legs.

           Carefully, he situated himself in the open spot. He leaned into her, his back and shoulders pressing lightly against her stomach. The back of his head rested on the crest of her bosom."I don’t deserve you.”

           Natasha chuckles. “No,” she said jokingly as she ran her fingers through his hair, “you don’t.”

           Subtle cracks from the candles disturbed the silence. The music player softly switched songs in the background. What was once Marvin Gaye had now melted into Etta James’ A Sunday Kind of Love­–her longing, hopeful voice adorned the room in conceptual awareness. He closed his eyes, soaking in the ambience. The hum of the speakers. The drum of the rain falling against the window. The beating of Natasha’s heart. They sat in silence, reveling in each other’s company.

           Right, and then left. Right, and then left. Her hands traveled around Steve’s scalp, leaving no area untouched. Relaxed and in a trance, his head swayed in the direction of her movements. He succumbed to her touch. Around and around. Back and forth. The two had developed a natural rhythm.

           For a moment, he opened his eyes and glanced upwards at Natasha. Her head was propped against the headboard and her eyes were closed. Although no words had been exchanged–and even if they had spoke, Nat would never share her true feelings–he could tell she felt comfortable. A soft smile graced her lips long ago, staying there for what seemed like a lifetime. He rarely saw her like this–relaxed, and genuinely content. And in this moment, he realized what he truly wanted.



           "Do you know how beautiful you are?”

           Her fingers stopped swirling around the nape of his neck.

           "I mean, really beautiful. Radiant.Captivating.

           She opened her eyes and looked down at him, searching his face for any indication of deceit. His pupils were dilated. His breathing was slow. "No,” Natasha replied. She gingerly ran her hand down the side of his cheek, “you’re the beautiful one.”

           All at once, he wanted her. Every part of her. He saw himself in her, around her, with her. Every inch of his body screamed for her, begging him to approach the warmth that emanated from her being. To touch her; to feel her. "Do you mind if we try again?”

           Her eyebrows raised, “Of course not, but I just don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything you don't–”

           Steve lifted his head off of her chest, pushed himself up, flipped over on his hands and knees, and threw his legs over hers, straddling her once more.

           "– want to,“ Natasha finished.

           He smiles, "I want this,” he said, “and I want you.” Steve moved backwards on his hands and knees like lion preparing to dine. He took a deep meditated breath in and out, then dropped down, and began kissing her ankles. Slow movement was imperative. He would never dream of rushing a moment like this. “Do you know what else I want?” Steve made his way up her leg, kissing her shin, and then her inner thigh. “I want–” he kissed the curve of her hip, “–to make–” now, her shoulder blade, “–you happy.” Gently, he pecked at the hollow cove of her neck. A paper-thin kiss so heavy that the weight of it resided on Natasha’s skin for what seemed like an eternity.

            He took her chin between his fingers, angling her head upwards. “And the way I do that,” his lips pressed lightly on her forehead, “is by finding out what you want.” The warmth of her flesh was more than stimulating to him. It was an invitation for him to give her what she always deserved: a relationship based solely on mutual respect and trust. No politics. No secrets. Just a genuine connection. “Natalia,” he kissed her left eye, “what is it that I can do for you?” In one fluid movement, Steve kissed her right eye and then the tip of her nose. “Name it, and I’ll do it. I’m here for you.”

                       When his lips came in contact with her cheek, he was surprised by an unanticipated wetness. He stopped abruptly, pulling back to examine her face. The candle casted light on a lonely tear glistening against her ivory skin. “O–Oh my goodness, Nat, I–”

           She cupped the sides of his face with her hands. His freshly shaved skin felt great against her touch.

           "I–I didn’t mean to–did I do something wron–was it something I said?“

           She drew him in closer, motioning for him to continue.

           It was tempting to proceed, to act like nothing was wrong. But, deep down, he knew he couldn’t. He craved to make her happy more than he craved his own happiness. "No,” he stated softly, but sternly, “Nat…what’s wrong?”

           Her hands dropped from his face and she sat down silently.

           "Come on,“ he got up from his position and returned to the spot where he had once sat. He nudged her with his elbow, "We’re in this together, aren’t we?”

           Natasha turned around to face him. “I­–” she lowered her gaze. “I, uh–I just–you didn’t do anything wrong.”

           Steve cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t?”

           "No,“ She replied, "that's­–well–actually, that’s why I’m crying.”

           He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

           "You don’t have to say anything, just–just give me a moment to explain.“ She leaned against the cool headboard and began tracing imaginary lines on the palm of her hand. "When I was in the Red Room,” she took a deep breath, “the success of the mission was the only thing that was important. It didn’t matter how you felt about your assignment. They just didn’t care, and I wasn’t supposed to, either.” Tears begin welling up in her eyes.

           "Natasha, if this is too painful for you, you don’t have to tell me any–"

           "But I want to,“ she wiped the forming tears out of her eyes and placed her hand on top of his. "I want to.”

           "Okay,“ he squeezed her hand.

           Once again, she took a deep breath, then continued. "Many times, while I was undercover, I had to play a multitude of different roles. Sometimes, I was a wealthy estate owner looking for new markets to tap into. Other times, I was a lost tourist asking for directions,” she paused. “But, more times than I’d like to recall, my role consisted of me using my sexuality to get vital pieces of information, and you and I both know how easy it is to get people to do what you want them to do when sex is involved,” she chuckled. “I did what I had to do. And, do you wanna know something funny?”

           Steve kept his hand on hers, moving his thumb back and forth against the smooth surface of her wrist.

           "Even though I was using them in order to gain power,“ she admitted, "I never felt more powerless than I did when I was with them. I knew I wasn’t supposed to care. That it was all for the mission. But I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that what I was doing was in no way what I wanted to do. I mean, of course I was the one who engaged with them. I was the one who took them into a room and began undressing them, but I never really had a choice, you know?” Once again, tears began forming in her eyes. Only, this time, she didn’t wipe them away. “No one from the Red Room ever gave me any other alternative. No one that I slept with ever asked me who I was or what I wanted. Not the men, not the women, no one. It was always about them.”

           "Nat, I am so sor–”

           She put her free hand up, signaling for Steve to stop. “But, just when I began to think that love was some bullshit concept made up by children,” she drops her hand, “ you showed up.” The tears fell rapidly, now, rolling off of her cheek and onto the cotton sheets below. “You helped me figure out why those missions always left me feeling empty. Love is not one-sided. It’s about losing yourself in your partner and in their happiness. It’s about asking permission; it’s about asking them how they feel. It’s about trust.” Natasha leaned over and intertwined her lips with his.

           Soon, they broke apart.

           "And I trust you,“ she said.

           Steve cupped her face in his hands and brushed the tears off of her cheeks. "I trust you, too.” He opened his legs, motioning for Natasha to sit in between them. “Come here.”

           With a timid smile on her face, she made her way over to the empty space. She rested the back of her head on his chest and melted into him.

           He embraced her, making sure to leave no inch of her skin out of contact with his. A wide grin crept on his face. “And you thought I was the one who was going to cry.”

           "Shut up,“ Natasha playfully slapped his arm and laughed uncontrollably.

           "If that’s what you want me to do, then I’ll do it,” Steve retorted between breathy laughs. He hugged her a little tighter and lightly placed his chin amidst her auburn hair “And now that I’ve got you,” he smiled, “I’m not ever letting go.”

(Inspired by @chalantness  || read her one-shots here)

"Don't Let Me Go" Sam Winchester Imagine

Prompt: “can you please make one where Sam accidentally says he doesn’t care about the reader and can it have lots of fluff”

Warnings: Swearing, name calling, mentioning of not caring, depression, crying.


Since when has things ever gone your way? It seems as though the universe was out to get you. As soon as something wonderful happened, it always had to come back and bite you in the ass.

It’s happened to you so many times, how could you not see it coming now?

You’ve seen the signs in your relationship with Sam that you two were going downhill, fast. Ever since Dean disappeared from the bunker after he was killed by Metatron, Sam had been hellbent on finding his brother. There was never time for you two to be a couple anymore, not like there was much before, but now it was kind of like you never even existed. Most nights were spent with you crying in the bunker worrying about the man you loved as he went off and searched aimlessly for the estranged brother.

Tonight had been no different, you were sat on the bed in your once shared room, knees to your chest, head leaning on your knees, tears were staining your three day old jeans. You couldn’t really find time to change your clothes; mostly because you didn’t care. The only time you really left your room was to go to the bathroom, eat, or pick another movie to watch. You needed something to distract you while you were alone. The liquor that you had been ingesting for the past few days had sort of worn off by now, so there was really no point in drinking anymore.

It took you about five minutes to figure out that your movie had ended. You heard the song from the credits play over and over and finally had to turn it off. Wiping your eyes, you stood and went to the television, taking the disc out and placing it back in its correct case. You had always loathed when Sam would finish a movie and just put it in a random case.


This only triggered more tears as you walked out do your room and down the hall to Dean’s old bedroom, where all of the movies had been kept. The little things that Sam did were what you loved about him. Even the annoying things. Like how he read when he thought no one was looking, his annoying movie regimen, how he always swiped his hair back when he was stressed or nervous. Sadly you had seen the last tick too often before he left you.

You couldn’t help but sink to the floor in Dean’s bedroom as you thought about your Sam. He had always done anything for you. Anything to make you happy. Anything to keep you safe. Now you thought he couldn’t give less than two shits.

You were snapped away from your thoughts at the sound of the bunker door opening and closing. Slowly you stood up and picked up one of the sawed off shot guns off of Dean’s walls, creeping your way down the hall till you reached the main room. You saw Sam trudging down the steps carefully, a wince coming across his face with every step he took. When he reached the bottom of the stairs you dropped the gun and let out a sigh of relief, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“Sam! Oh, Sam, I’m so glad you’re okay.” You whispered closing your eyes, a smile creeping to your lips, the first smile you’d had in a long time.

You heard Sam give out a small squeak and sigh before he moved away from you. “Watch out. I hurt my shoulder.” He said clenching his jaw and sitting on the map table, taking his shirt off to examine the damage.

“So what happened? Did you find him?” You asked crossing your arms and looking at him with hope filled eyes.

“Does it look like I fucking found him?!” Sam snapped at you and shook his head. He closed his eyes and groaned loudly when he tried to move his shoulder, with no luck. You took a step towards him, reluctantly, and looked at him.

“It looks dislocated. Here, let me help.” You said about to set your hands on his shoulder before Sam stopped you.

“No!” He said looking at you and standing. “I can do it myself. In fact, what are you even doing here still? I thought you would have left by now.”

“Wh-what?” You said with tears filling your eyes. “Why would I leave you?”

“Because I don’t want you here!” He yelled and shook his head. “I’ve been gone for weeks, shouldn’t that send a sign?”

You felt your bottom lip quiver as you looked up in Sam’s eyes. It felt as though your heart fell through the floor and down to the eighth circle of hell. You licked your bottom lip and shrugged, “I-I just thought-”

“Thought what? That I still cared about you?” Sam said shaking his head. “Looks like we both need a reality check, huh?” He said and walked off. He was almost to the hallway before he turned back and looked at you.

‘This is it.’ You thought to yourself, 'He didn’t mean any of it.’

“I think you should go, (Y/N).” Sam said with a small nod, leaving you in the map room alone.


It had been a year since that night with Sam. Not a day passes when you don’t think about him, in one way or another. The night you left was the last time you had seen him, possibly the last time you would ever see him. Whenever you thought about him, there was always one word that came to your mind.


Why would he make you leave? Why would he want you out of his life when he possibly needed you the most? You know how hard it was to lose family, like Sam had lost Dean, but that just made you need someone in your life more than ever.

There was a time in your life a few months after leaving where you decided to do something rather than go town from town. You needed to settle down. You needed a life change. After hitting farther than rock bottom, your life took an unexpected turn.

You decided to settle in Seattle, Washington. You had always talked about that place with Sam, loving the cloudy and rainy weather. You were never a sunny type of gal. The apartment you rented was nice enough for just yourself, and now, six months after hitting bottom, you had a steady job, an apartment, and a potential boyfriend that you had met through a work friend.

Tonight was the night that you and your potential boyfriend, Jacob, were on your third date. The dress your friend had let you borrow was gorgeous, flattering your skin and figure. You liked Jacob because he was normal; and normal was exactly why you needed.

Just as you clasped your other earring into place, there was a knock on your door. You smiled to yourself and smoothed out your dress before grabbing your purse.

“Jacob, you’re a little early-” You started with a smile as you opened the door. Your smile fell as soon as you saw that who was at the door was, indeed, not Jacob.

“Who’s Jacob?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow.

“My…” You whispered and furrowed your eyebrows. “My boyfrie- my my boy. He’s my boy.” You said in a disoriented voice.

Sam nodded and looked down at his feet. “Right.” He chuckled and shook his head. “May I come in?”

“No.” You answered right away. “You can’t.”

Sam sighed and looked up in your eyes with that puppy dog gaze. “Please, (Y/N)?”

You leaned your head on the door and sighed, stepping back and giving Sam enough room to walk through. When he entered you slammed the door shut and turned to him, arms crossed and a small scowl on your face. “What do you want?” You asked raising an eyebrow.

“I want to apologize.” He said looking in your eyes. “I want to apologize for making by far the biggest mistake of my life.”

“And what was that, Sam?” You interrupted. “Caring about me?” You saw Sam physically cringe at your harsh words. “Good, so you do remember that night.” You spat and reached for the door knob.

“Please hear me out, (Y/N).” Sam insisted and held your hand that was going for the knob.

“Hear you out for what, Sam?!” You said and clenched into his hand. “Hear you say how sorry you are for letting me go? How much you regret it? How about you hear me out.” Tears were welling up in your eyes now. You but the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from balling. “Maybe you’d like to hear how I waited in that bunker for three weeks for you, while you were off looking for Dean. Or would you like to hear how I spent those weeks in our room crying, wishing you were there, and wishing how when you were there, that you would at least pay attention to me?” You felt tears run down your cheeks now, and your cheeks flushing. “You were the one person in my life that made me feel like I actually existed, Sam. Then you ripped it away in a matter of minutes. When you told me to go… I had no where to go. I was going bus stop to bus stop, motel to motel, city to city, just waiting to be hit by a fucking bus. I had no one. Then I figured I may just be better without you.” You were full on bawling now, looking down at your feet. You felt a sudden warmth surround your body, and immediately you nuzzled your face in Sam’s neck, your arms wrapping around his body in the warmest embrace you could give.

“Please believe me when I say that I didn’t mean one word of what I said. Not a day goes by where you don’t cross my mind. After you left, it was bad. (Y/N) it was so bad. I just wanted to find Dean, and when I couldn’t I took it off on the one person I love the most. I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry, darling.” Sam said the last sentence in a shaky voice. You felt one of his tears fall on your cheek, causing you to look up at him. You pulled away and wiped your cheeks, taking in a deep breath. “I understand if you don’t want to come back with me. I mean, I’ve found Dean. I’ve found myself. But I’ve been looking for you for almost eight months, and now that I’ve found you, I remember why I fell in love with you. And I want you to know that I’ve never stopped loving you, and I never will.” Sam wiped his tears and leaned down, kissing your cheek softly. “Goodbye, (Y/N).” He whispered and opened the door, walking down the hallway.

You ran a hand through your hair and walked out to the hallway, catching Sam before he could turn down the stairwell. “You mean it?” You called out to him, rubbing your arm from nerves. “Did you mean that you never meant what you said?”

Sam smiled softly and nodded, walking back to you. You couldn’t take it anymore, now that you had him, you need him. You ran into his arms and kissed his lips deeply, your arms wrapping around his neck. Sam’s hands were on your waist, his arms welcoming you in with his usual warmth. “I’m never letting you go again.”

“Don’t let me.” You said back and held onto Sam, kissing him yet again with all the passion you both deserved.

Joshua: The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver (pt 1)

[table of contents] I. II. III. IV. V.

Summary: (title is from the song by all time low) Someone asked for bad boy joshua but I can’t find the ask so here it is lol (this follows a separate timeline to the scoups one). I’m gonna try and stay as far away from implied sexual content as I can because that’s almost as bad as smut but it’s bound to happen given Joshua’s character in this story….. sigh WARNING: smoking and swearing and implied sexual content and stuff like don’t read this if you’re under 16 ok

Joshua’s lips parted in a grimace as he lifted himself off of the bed. He tugged yesterday’s clothes on, cringing at how disorderly they made him look, and slipped out of the room quietly. Shit, how much did I have to drink last night? He thought to himself as his fingers found the doorknob. As he exited the apartment building he riffled through his pockets for his phone.

“What is it, Josh?” Seungcheol asked when he picked up.

“Can you come pick me up? I was at a party last night and I don’t really know how to get home.” Joshua said, his voice still husky, a side effect of having just woken up.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have any more Leader of the Free World stuff? After this weekend, some positivity in that area would be glorious! If you don't, no worries, I'll just repeatedly reread what you've already written. :)

Just for you, Anon, a preview of the 2020 Presidential Debates.

“Okay but…why can’t I juggle during the debate?”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “Clint, I’m not defending their pre-emptive ban on juggling. I’m just the messenger. And the moderators said that they know you like to juggle while speaking in public and when you’re doing the debate you can’t juggle.”

“But did they give a reason? Is it because I have to hold a microphone?” Clint rubbed his jaw. “I mean, I bet I could juggle three microphones and not drop a word.”

(There is a read more here! Read more!)

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Request: Please Don't Say You Love Me

Request: can you do a dean x reader based on “please don’t say you love me” by Gabrielle Aplin?

Word Count: 595

Here it is, I hope you like it! Song here. Thank you!:)

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it.

The room is silent and pitch black. You’re out in the middle of nowhere. The motel’s light turned off an hour ago with the incoming storm. You’re alone with Dean.

We all know where that goes.

You’re curled up together, now, though, pressed close to each other, skin to skin. His hand moves over your back and your head in nestled into his shoulder. You have each other memorized, from head to toe.

You reach up, your hand easily finding his cheek and resting there. His hand covers yours, the warm, rough skin blanketing your softer, cooler skin. You feel him smile beneath your hand.

Both of you are asleep in a matter of minutes.

You dream of a clouded landscape. You’re confused and disoriented. It’s bright, but not too bright. And suddenly, it’s filled with noise. It’s every ‘I love you’ you’ve ever heard, it seems. You spin around as the clouds morph into faces, the faces of every person you’ve ever loved.

The bad part? You watched every one of them die.

The noise is too much, too loud, invading your ears. Then it’s gone. You’re on a grassy plain, alone.

“Y/N?” Dean whispers from behind you. You spin, but it’s like trying to wade through treacle.

“Please…don’t say it.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t not. I love you.”

You wake with a start, to light filtering through the blinds. Birds sing outside. The storm, apparently, has bypassed you both.

“Morning, beautiful.” Comes a voice from beside you. “Ready for a day of super interesting research?”

You laugh softly, pulling the covers up around yourself. “Couldn’t be more excited.”

You find your way to a local library, and start searching, taking notes. You’ve got your nose buried in a book, when you come across something that could be helpful.

You look up, ready to pull Dean from whatever book he’s reading. But he’s not. His eyes are on you, utterly entranced. It makes your heart skip a beat.

“Dean?” You whisper, aware of the atmosphere in the library. “Dean!”

“Huh?” He mumbles, not taking his eyes off of you, “What’s up?”

“Look at this.” You slide the volume over to him. He reads it through, and nods.

“I think you’ve got it.”


“Y/N?” He whispers. You look up and nod.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, anything at all.” You smile, running a hand through your hair.

“How do you feel about this- us?” He asks, looking at you imploringly. You press your lips together.

“What do you mean?”

“I just- I don’t know. I just wanted to know what you thought.”

You take a breath, “I-I think it’s good. Don’t you?”

“More than anything else.”

You nod, “It’s perfect. It doesn’t match to anything I’ve ever felt before. It scares the shit out of me.”


There’s a long silence, “I can’t love. Everything I love dies.”

He shakes his head vehemently, “It doesn’t, Y/N. I know what you’re feeling, I do. I really, truly do. But you’re wrong.”


“No buts. I understand. I felt that way for so long, but then I realised- you’re still alive, right?” He smiles.

He loves me? Your head is spinning, but you nod.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He promises, pressing his lips to your cheek. “I love you too much for that.”

You laugh softly, “I love you too.” You whisper- the first time those words have left your lips in so long.

Finding Home

Originally posted by page32

Originally posted by poorbeautifuldean

Originally posted by socialpsychopathblr

Part Eight of Dream girl imagine.  Part Two: Dreams and Reality  Part Three: Deja vu    Part Four: Leave a mark    Part Five: The tragic Hero Part Six: Voices in the dark   Part Seven: A change of scenery

Dean x reader

word count: 3831

Lyrics in bold and italics are The Fray’s Look after you

Your name: submit What is this?

The diner was finally hitting that sweet lull now that the lunch crowd had dissipated. The grill was sizzling while Horace cooked the last order and music softly played from a jukebox nearby. You turned from the counter with two mugs and a coffee carafe for table two. Before heading over, you paused to watch Sam and Serena talking.

Sam was animated, telling a story you had a feeling you had heard from Dean before. Serena leaned forward, enthralled in the tale with her brow pulled together but her lips quirked up just a bit at the corners. The way she looked at him flooded you with a calm warmth from head to toe. Sam smacked the table and whispered. Serena had jumped slightly but then swatted him, a smile appearing as she rolled her eyes.

You walked over with a soft chuckle at Serena’s boisterous laugh. It was unrestrained and genuine, something you hadn’t heard from her with a guy since you were both in high school.

“Hey, Sam. Nice to see you again.” You grinned as you placed the mugs down. Sam turned toward you, his eyes still alight but he went shy the moment he met your gaze.

“You really don’t have to do that. I could get it.” Sam, ever the gentleman, took the carafe from your hand and poured his cup. He was looking into the mug when he said, “you’ve already done too much.”

“What do you mean?” Serena’s back went stiff and he shuttered for a second before he put the carafe down and looked up at you with a thin smile. With a glance, you saw Serena staring at you too.

Something sparked and flashed across his face as if an idea just came to him. “You’re the reason we met.”

Serena grinned but something about it seemed off as she grabbed the carafe. “Just because I’m on break doesn’t mean I can’t get our food. You do not have to wait on us.”

You smiled but it felt flat, “okay.” You were missing something but you had no idea what it could be.

“Dean should be by soon, right?” Serena looked at Sam and he nodded.

“Yeah, he should be on lunch from the garage. He said he’d be over.”

You quickly nodded, “oh yeah.” But you couldn’t remember talking to him. “I’ll give you guys some privacy.”

“You don’t have to leave.” Serena touched your hand, “I just don’t want you waiting on me.”

You rolled your eyes, “no thanks. Three’s a crowd and all.” You turned and walked back to the counter with a quick look around. No one else was there, so you took a seat at the counter and tried to remember the last time you talked with Dean. It was the only thing that could get your mind off the eyes you knew were still on your back and whatever they could be thinking.

You spread your fingers out on the counter feeling its solid construction and stared at the watery brown circle not that far from your fingertips. Had you seen Dean that morning? Your thoughts felt as muddled as the circle and the whispering behind you didn’t help a thing. Without the sizzle of the grill and the normal hum of chatter, the place just felt flat, but that was easily explainable. There were always slow times that stretched minutes into forever and down times that made the place feel like a tomb. The word rolled over in your mind feeling heavy and a bit too real. An icy breeze blew across your neck. It shouldn’t be that quiet in here.

“And where’s that looker of yours today?”

Miranda’s deep rasp jolted you out of your head. Ripping your gaze off the brown circular stain on the counter, you looked up but didn’t make it more than a few inches before you were struck by another mark. A dark red blooming flower in the middle of her white shirt, more inkblot than the usual design and you couldn’t take your eyes off it. A stiff cold coiled around your shoulders then swam through your veins. You heard your name in the haze and wrenched your eyes up to hers. She didn’t seem to notice your unease. “What?” You croaked.

“Don’t play coy, I thought your boy was coming in for lunch today?” She grinned and for a second you could’ve sworn you saw matching splotches on her teeth.

You blinked and shook your head. “Oh, um, he’s coming. Probably just got held up.” You flashed the best smile you could muster and played with your hair looking anywhere but at her.

The bell chimed and you jerked toward the door but no one was there. You looked over your shoulder realizing it was the bell by the grill. Horace turned and set two plates down on the counter. “Sera, order up!”

You stared at him, expecting the terrible flirting comments to fly but you were distracted by the wide maroon tie wrapped around the middle of his neck and draping down his front. It was odd and not just because Horace never dressed up but the tie itself was weird. It fell down his chest then curved to the left over his stomach and it wasn’t the same width the whole way down. 

His head turned your way and his eyes knocked the air from your lungs. There was a film over them changing the color of his irises and giving off the distinctly ghastly look of a cadaver. “See something you like, sweet cheeks?” He wiggled his brows and smiled. The yellowing teeth were spotted with more than just rotting enamel and coffee stains.

You jerked away as tingling needles skittered up your arms before carving into your chest. You choked down the bile that rose and looked for Serena, needing to know that she was still with you yet terrified to find in what way.

She was still there, staring straight at you with a strange look on her face. “Are you okay, Ser?” It came out choked and you grasped your throat.

Serena’s eyes were not covered by any film but brimming with tears. When she shook her head, one broke free. You wondered if she saw the same thing you did and felt that icy breeze on the back of your neck. A thought shot through you that maybe she saw something behind you closing in with each second that you stared her way but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn around, or even move for that matter. It was a prickling pain at the back of your neck that finally forced you to spin around and face whatever it could be, but nothing was there. Absolutely nothing.

When you looked back, Serena was smiling again. “Jackass.” The sound of her voice was like a punch in the gut. It was all wrong. The word wasn’t a casual toss of an old nickname, it was thick and mournful.

“Dick.” You whispered but even that sounded wrong, or really, barely sounded at all.

The scene blipped, like a broken image or a projector skipping to the next slide. Serena was no longer facing you. She was looking at Sam and they were both laughing like nothing happened.

You were still frozen and glanced from the corner of your eye to the counter. Miranda stood behind it, staring at you as if waiting for an answer and the red blooming stain on her shirt was gone. You dropped your gaze to the floor and took a shaky breath. “It’s just a bad dream.” You whispered.

But then another voice answered with a quiet yet harsh rebuttal. Then what does that make you?


The ocean breeze was helping to rid you of the latest nightmare. You were debating on whether to tell Dean but one thought of the deepening shadows in his own eyes decided for you. The nightmares had been coming on more often and hitting you at random times but it was easier to pretend that nothing was wrong than to go digging where you didn’t belong.

A small boombox you found in the cottage sat behind you, a soothing melody blending with the soft, tumbling waves below. The full moon was high and painted a long glittering line over the rolling sea until the crashing waves broke it up below you. You imagined if you swam out and reached the thickest part of the line, you could pick yourself up and walk across it like a road. The idea of it sparked something and pulled like a rope around your middle. You just had to get past the messy part and you could follow that road home. The thought jolted you out of the calm you had found and your insides thrashed like the water was beginning to below.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You looked up and searched for wounds. “Hi.” Relief swept through you to find him whole with an easy smile. The shadows still below his eyes.

He was staring at the boom box and dropping down to get a closer look. “Haven’t seen one of these in… a decade, at least.”

“It was in the cottage.” He stiffened but gave nothing else away as he glanced up at you. He pushed a button on the top of the box and another song began.

“Interesting.” He peered at you with a grin.

“Don’t you say a word about my music, Dean Winchester.” You couldn’t stifle how good it felt to play around with him.

“The Fray?” He chuckled as he grasped your hand in his.

“Yes, I happen to like some music from this decade.” You stood up, following the gentle pull of his hand. He wrapped his arm around your waist, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back as he pulled you against him. He lifted your hand in his and waited for you to place your free hand. You narrowed your eyes, “what are you up to?”

“I figured a song like this, you wanted a dance in the moonlight.” It was only a gentle sway at first until he started to show off some partner dancing skills you didn’t know he possessed. You danced around the hilltop without a single thought of the nightmares. He spun you around a few times eliciting giggles from you until the third chorus when he pulled you back against him and slowed to a gentle sway.

“Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Be my baby. I’ll look after you.”

Your forehead pressed against his chest, breathing him in but you felt a sense of melancholy that wasn’t from the music. There was a thick sadness building in your chest but you knew it wasn’t your own.

“It’s always have and never hold, but you’ve begun to feel like home. Yeah.”

Dean’s lips pressed against your ear, “how did I ever get so lucky?” He choked on the last word.

You tried to pull back to look at him but he tightened his arms holding you against him. You searched for an answer to his question that meant more than the words he carefully chose, but only found the other time he asked you a similar question. “Everyone deserves good dreams,” you said closing your eyes.

You swayed, clutching each other until the song faded and the only sound left was the waves. He sighed, “I want to stay with you but you deserve to know everything. You need to know everything.”

He let you pull back this time and what you found only heightened the searing pull in your chest. You searched his face for his meaning but a feeling all your own turned your stomach and you weren’t sure you wanted to know.

“I will stay here with you if you don’t want to go back. I can’t live out there when you’re in here. I can’t go on hunts because there’s always a chance I won’t make it home and that’s just… I won’t leave you here alone.”

A battle had broken out inside you. His emotions blending and clashing with yours. Guilt and worry, sadness and confusion, desperation and longing, love and fear.

“You can’t make a decision with me without knowing everything and I know it’s difficult. You’re afraid and I understand but I have to lay it all out. Do you think you could listen and not push me away?”

Your throat closed up and your heart was knocking so hard against your ribcage you couldn’t breathe, but you nodded even though you were terrified to hear what he had to say.

He forced a smile and held your face gently in his hands. Then he poured everything out so quickly, you had the distinct impression it was the only way he thought he could get through it. “This is a dream, everything here… You’ve created this. We met in the real world but you were hurt saving my brother. You never woke up and I’ve been by your side for months waiting for you to wake up. I’ve been coming here to see you but… I’m losing it out there. I know it’s not fair to push this on you but I have to. I can’t have both. It’s either here or there and I’ll go with whatever you want. We need to make up our minds and decide. I’ll stay here with you or we can go back.”

His eyes were glued to yours, waiting. Everything continued to war inside you, pushing and pulling until your lungs were screaming for air. You were dragging in breaths but each one was ragged and too short. His lips moved and his brow furrowed but you didn’t hear a word over the roar in your ears. You closed your eyes to shut it all out, seeking an ounce of peace to think.

Images swirled around you, each scene focused into one clear moment as it passed directly in front of your eyes. Dean standing in a meadow, working with Serena at the diner, Sam and Serena having lunch together, and Dean making love to you on the hilltop. In all those visions, they were happy and you were happy. But then on the second and third flash by, the cracks appeared. The blurred edges and faces, the fuzzy idea of a place around you.

A tremor rattled your bones and the images spun past your field of vision again. The picture show froze on the hilltop, Dean holding himself over you with that grin that coiled heat in your lower abdomen. You blinked and you were beneath him, the sky behind him a perfect blue dotted with big, blurry clouds. A sudden bloodcurdling scream shattered the image and large shards of the sky began to plummet towards you. You threw your arms around Dean’s head, pulling him down while covering your face in his chest and shouting a warning to him, but then you were no longer laying down. Dean’s weight was gone and so was his warmth.

Your eyes snapped open and you were back in the forest, running. You were always running here. Then that feeling popped up, something you knew deep down was the only truth in the darkness. All you needed to find was the road and the road was through that brush. The road would take you home.

This time, you didn’t pause or stumble just before the final line of bushes that blocked you from the road and the pain on the other side. The pain on the other side. It reverberated through you as you jumped over the last scrubby bush and slid to a stop on the long dirt road.

“Sam.” You whispered as you spotted the tall figure in the distance standing over the prone soldier. You screamed as you ran toward him, “don’t throw your weapon! Don’t turn your back!”  But you weren’t getting any closer, you were stuck on the edge of the tree line. You saw yourself running toward the two men and watched the scene play out the way you were terrified it would.

The soldier’s knife sliced through your leg then he thrust the bottom of the knife’s handle into the back of your head. You gasped as the pain exploded from those points on you, but watched your body tumble and continue to move toward Dean and Sam.

You closed your eyes hearing those mingled voices screaming again.


Just let me heal the wounds.


None of this is real…


You opened your eyes and found Dean’s face swimming into view. Don’t you dare leave me!

“But I didn’t,” you cried.

Dean’s face disappeared but in the darkness, more voices swirled around you. Voices speaking to you and around you, talking about dreams and about Dean doing something crazy. 

Sometimes I’m afraid that he will choose to stay asleep forever if you don’t wake up. Please don’t let him make that choice.

So, maybe I could find a way to be around more often.

I’ll stay here with you or we can go back.

Dean had given you a choice because none of this was real.

Your chest hurt and your whole body ached. That soft beeping was nearby again and your throat felt like you swallowed the desert. The thought of turning and running from the growing pain felt like the only option, but then you heard her voice pleading with you to stay.

You promised me I wouldn’t get you killed. Don’t forget that. You promised. Jackass.

Her words played on a loop as you thought about Dean giving up his real life for the false one you created. It wasn’t real, it was just the dream. This was real. The stiffness, the ache, and heaviness, this was where you belonged.


Serena. She didn’t deserve to watch you waste away, not after everything you’d been through. And Dean, he shouldn’t have to leave his brother, the one person he’s fought to protect his whole life because you want the easier route. And Sam, the one person that you would be letting down that you never even got to meet.

That tranquil, beautiful place you created was a sanctuary away from the mess but everyone you loved was in that mess and they made it wonderful. They made it…

Please wake up. It’s worth it.


“I’m just going to sit with her for a while. Thanks, Sam.” This voice was the same but different from the words playing on repeat in your head. She sounded so tired. There was some rustling in the room as you tried to move your mouth. Your tongue felt heavy and dry. What if you couldn’t make anything work?

Something warm grasped your hand and your eyes burned. How could you possibly let her know you were there if you couldn’t even move? Something warm and wet slipped down the side of your face and into your ear.

Dick. You tried but didn’t feel anything move. Dick! You cried louder and felt an itch in your throat. Another tear slipped from your eye and trailed into your ear.

“Dick.” It was so quiet you weren’t sure if you actually heard that with your ears or just in your head. But then your hand was crushed.

Serena’s voice was so low and shaky you weren’t sure she actually said anything or if it was replaying again.

“Dick.” A searing pain shot through your throat.

Serena let out a triumphant cry and laughed. Something jabbed against your mouth and with a few tries, you forced it to open. A circular object slipped between your lips. 

“It’s water. Can you sip? I can get some of the crushed ice and let it melt in your mouth.” Her voice was still shaking but it was different than before.

Sip. The word swam through your mind as you identified it. You closed your mouth and tried pulling on the straw. After a few seconds that felt like years, glorious cool wetness covered your tongue. Convulsively, you swallowed and the water soothed your throat. You sucked again with greater urgency.

“Careful. Take it easy.” Her pitch had raised and you thought you could taste her excitement but knew that sounded wrong. “Can you open your eyes?”

You were still reeling over the amazing feeling in your throat when you tried cracking open your eyes. It was easier than using your voice but only slightly. You got your eyelids up just enough to see a blinding light and let them fall at the stab of pain in your head.

“Sorry. Let me turn off this light.”

There was a click and the red light against your eyelids dimmed. You forced them up again but still had a hard time making anything out. The spots slowly faded and you thought you saw the outline of Serena’s face. You tried your voice again, “hi.”

She let out another shaky laugh. “Hey, hon.” Her face slowly came into focus. She was smiling then gasped, “oh my god!” Her face disappeared and her yell rang out like an explosion. “Dean, Sam! Quick!”

You hissed and she squeezed your hand, “I’m so sorry but Dean… He’ll be so relieved. Sam too.”

Thunderous pounding was drawing closer and then someone careened through the doorway still holding on to the jam, “what is…” A familiar face came into focus as his eyes shot wide. He stared down at you with mussed hair.

You tried heaving your eyelids higher and another face appeared beside him. “Who… are you?” You asked with a flutter in your chest.

Dean’s face fell and his whole rigid stance slackened. A hard chuckle bubbled up and you coughed. When you opened your eyes, you could feel the stiffness in your cheeks from your smile. “Hey sweetheart, it’s about time.”

Dean closed his eyes and dropped his head for a moment. Relief bloomed in your chest but it was dim as if it wasn’t your own. It didn’t make sense. You watched Dean and a thought whispered in your mind, not mine but his.

He walked to your bedside and when his head came back up, there was a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen in too long. He leaned over the bed and pressed his lips to yours. “Sorry, I’m late.”

Your cheeks hurt but you couldn’t drop your grin. Your throat felt raw and dry again but you were still able to wheeze out, “you can make up for it.”

He chuckled, it was watery but sounded so good. You tried to sit up but every muscle in your body groaned. “Not yet.” Dean whispered as he took hold of your hand, “it’s gonna take some time, but we’ll get there.”

You searched his eyes. “We?”

He pressed his lips to your forehead and whispered, “you don’t know the half of it.” Then he found your lips again.

Epilogue: Unspoken

@duchessofwinchester , @jodyri , @jamrsgang , @moonstonemystyk , @mrswhozeewhatsis  , @beyourownbeautifulmistake , @rosep16 , @jencharlan  , @spectaculicious , @kittenofdoomage,@clc546 , @amyisabellal

roverof4lands  asked:

Prompt: 'Jelous Erétria' (She is a person who gets angry easily, so I need to see this. I think you can work out something from there. And don't feel pressured by this block, it will pass. ^^

first, so sorry this took so long i had a billion ideas for this prompt and didn’t know how i wanted to go about it. second, thank you, i hope it will pass too! here’s the story, enjoy!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You don't think Red is Liz's father? I think it's been pretty obvious since day one, but I guess not everyone interprets it the same way..

No, I don’t, and I think it’s been pretty obvious from day one that he’s NOT her dad.

I’ll start with the music.

In episode 3 “Wujing”, the song “Here with Me” is played:

Caught in the riptide
I was searching for the truth
There was a reason
I collided into you

Calling your name in the midnight hour
Reaching for you from the endless dream
So many miles between us now
But you are always here with me

Pretty shippy stuff, there, but on we go.

In episode 5 “The Courier”, the song “Wicked Game” is played when Liz goes to Red at the Hempstead House and she says she didn’t have anywhere else to go, and Newton Phillips tells him his future has arrived.

No I don’t want to fall in love
(this girl is only gonna break your heart)

Now, of all the songs they could have chosen, they chose THAT one.  If they wanted us to think he was her father, then they should have stayed away from songs that have those kinds of lyrics.

In episode 20 “The Kingmaker”, the song “Sweetheart, What Have You Done To Us” is played after Liz tells Red she’s done with him.

Sweetheart, what have you done to us?
I turned my back and you turned to dust
What have you done?

And oh please, just come here, don’t fight with me
And I admit, think you may have broken it, yeah I admit

And if all you wanted was songs for you
Well here goes, after all that you’ve put me through
Here’s one for you

And don’t call me lover, it’s not enough
It’s got to be tough, cynical stuff
Follow my words to the end of our love

And God, you were the one who told me not to be
So English

Sweetheart, what have you done to our love? 

More love references.  Interesting.

And in Episode 21 “Berlin, Conclusion”, the song “Just Breathe” is played when Liz returns to Red just before he’s set to leave the country and Liz for good.

Stay with me
You’re all I see…

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t I’m a fool you see
No one knows this more than me

Again, I’m not seeing the fatherly connotations here.  *shrugs* I’m not going to go in-depth with season 2 because I haven’t had the time to go through the songs, but I think I’ve made my point.

Now on to the physical evidence.

In the original pilot script for episode 1, it has Red asking Liz if he can touch her scar.  She allows him to, and he strokes it in a weirdly erotic way. (which ended up being cut)  There are clear sexual undertones that were used by Spader in the actual scene that were far from fatherly.

In episode 2 “The Freelancer”, Red tells Liz she can be his girlfriend from Ann Arbor.  If my dad did that, I would be weirded out big time.

In episode 3 “Wujing”, Red talks to Liz about the G-spot.  He also says “he has her” in response to her saying he has no one.

In episode 6 “Gina Zanetakos“, he comforts her and tells her she can trust him.

In episode 10 “Anslo Garrick, Conclusion”, Liz outright asks Red if he’s her father.  He answers no.  People think his hesitation means he was lying, I think it means there’s a lot more to the story.  Most likely that he killed her real father.  

In episode 13 “The Cyprus Agency”, Red tells Diane Fowler that he doesn’t know what happened to his family.

In episode 17 “Ivan”, Red tells Liz he has never lied to her, which backs up his NO in Anslo Garrick.

In episode 21, “Berlin, Conclusion”, Red tells Liz that her father died in the fire.  People think he means metaphorically, which I think is a load of bull (sorry not sorry).

In season 2 episode 2 “Monarch Douglas Bank”, we find out that Red’s daughter Jennifer had gone missing from witness protection 5 years previous.  Red’s never mentioned having two daughters, btw.  And he’s known Liz for years, so why would he look so sad when watching the video with his daughter playing with bubbles in season 1?

In season 2 episode 3 “Dr. James Covington”, Liz’s dream scene with Red asking “What do you really want?” has clear sexual overtones.  Plus Bokenkamp tweeted that that scene was “A little overly sexual #Lizzington”

In season 2 episode 9 “Luther Braxton”, the hideous fish conversation. Nuff’ said.

In season 2 episode 10 “Luther Braxton, Conclusion”, Braxton calls Liz Red’s girlfriend while talking on the phone.

I could keep going, but I think the most recent episodes have been well-covered.  I.E. The tango scene, the scene where Red pretty much admits that he took care of Liz over her life because of guilt etc, etc.

One last thing.  Megan Boone herself has referenced Red and Liz’s journey as a “love story”.  Do with that what you will.

The producers also said on the DVD commentary that they never intended for Red to be her father, but when the audience began to question it, they just went with it and began the long tease.

Daniel Knauf himself tweeted me and said that they have answered the father question “several times. Out loud.”

I’m genuinely curious as to why you think he’s her father.  Can you break it down for me like I have for you? (I’m being serious)

Preference #25; She Looks So Perfect
  • Calum: "If I showed up with a plane ticket and a shiny diamond ring with your name on it, would you wanna run away too? Cuz' all I really want is you." Everything had come crashing down in a matter of months. School had been getting hard, grades falling and the bullying getting worse, Everyone at home faught day after day. The only escape seemed to be your boyfriend Calum. But bliss was always cut short by strict curfew. Today was the same story, you woke up to shouting and slamming doors. Running a hand through your hair, you push out of bed and walk to the mirror. Calum was supposed to come pick you up in a few hours and you had to attempt to get ready in this chaos. As you attempted to brush out the wild mane of hair around your face, you phone lit up with a text from Calum. 'Go outside.' You roll your eyes, but smile. What could he have planned? A few moments later you're standing on the doorstep and Calum is standing with a huge grin on his face. "(Y/N) I know this is a little last minute and crazy, but I have a proposition." He gets down on one knee, pulling a box out from behind him. He opens it, revealing two plane tickets to California and a diamond ring. "Run away with me?"
  • Ashton: "She looks so perfect standing there in my American Apparel underwear. And I know now, that I'm so down. I made a mixtape straight out of '94, I've got your ripped skinny jeans lying on the floor." Ashton was always full of surprises. Even at three am. He showed up at your doorstep with a huge grin on his face, ready to go adventuring. He pulled you out of your blogging state of mind and out into the real world for some fun. The two of you were no strangers to the bowling alley, it was the spot for many of your dates. You both played for hour, taking many pictures and play fighting about who won each game, not to mention the few drinks you shared. It was now six in the morning and you were back at Ashton's place. Things had gotten pretty heated between leaving the alley and the return to Ashtons home and the two of you were now tangled in a mess of sheets. "Ash, baby.. I gotta go," You whisper, pulling yourself up from the bed. You grab random what seems to be your underwear and pull them over your hips, throwing your tee over your head afterwards. Ashton rolls over, a groan escaping his lips. "Baaabeeee," he drags out, his eyes trailing over you as you searched for your jeans on the floor. "Nice underwear," he joked, winking at you. You look down, turning a bright shade of red, realizing that you were wearing Ashtons. Later, fully dressed you escape Ashtons house, you stick your hands in your jeans pocket, finding a vintage mixtapes- all the songs from nineteen nintey four.
  • Michael: "Your lipstick stain is a work of art. I've got your name tattooed in an arrow heart and I know now, that I'm so down." "Are you sure you want to do this?" The tattoo parlor was full of people, jammed from the inside out. Your boyfriend, Michael, and all his band mates were here. Luke was getting another piercing, just his tongue, nothing major. Calum and Michael were both getting tattoos, and you and Ashton were there for moral support. It was now Michaels turn to go back to the tattoo room, after admiring Luke's shiny new piercing. "Of course babe," Michael nodded, confirming his choice of tattoo. You pressed your lips to his temple, leaving a red imprint. A few moments later, the tattoo gun was on his arm, his hand holding yours tightly. "You're almost done," his tattooer says, a man with tattoos covering every inch of him. Michael nods, keeping a good cover up for his pain. "And.. We're good." The man sets the gun down on a table, picking up a mirror, "Are you ready to see it?" "Yes!" you and Michael call out at the same time, causing a fit of giggles to erupt between you. The mirror is lifted and you can't help but gasp. It was a heart, an arrow going through it like Michael had told you. But to your surprise, right in the middle was your name. "Oh, Michael." "Do you like it?" he asks with a grin. He points to the lipstick mark on his temple, "I'm thinking of getting this beauty next." You roll your eyes and push him out of the chair, walking back into the waiting room to show off to the other boys.
  • Luke: "They say we're too young now to amount to anything else. But look around, we worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now. If you don't swim, you'll drown. But don't move... Honey." No one approved of you and Luke. Not your parents, not his, not your friends, not his band mates. They all thought the two of you were just "too young to know love". Thought you and Luke always called bullshit, saying that they didn't know either. In the long months the two of you had been together, you knew Luke was the one for you. He treated you like a queen and never asked for anything in return. You weren't about to give up on the beautiful relationship due to what other people said. You were hopelessly falling in love with Luke, and there was no stopping it. Especially tonight, on your one year anniversary. As Luke pressed you against the wall, leaving kisses from your lips all down your neck. It was almost too perfect, everything he had done that night. Taking you out to dinner at some fancy restaurant, walking along the beach hand in hand. It was hard to believe that he hadn't gotten into your pants before. He picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, your name moaning from his lips as he moved towards the bedroom. He carefully placed you on his bed, a smirk growing across his lips. "Are you sure about this, babe?" he asked, playing with his lip ring. You nod, eyes full of lust, pulling him in for a quick kiss. He breaks it, pulling his shirt over his head. He begins to unbutton yours, "Don't move, honey." He whispers, kissing down your neck.