i really do think moriarty wanted to believe himself capable of it as well

The Disagreement

The Holmes’ life was never truly ‘pleasant’, but you and your husband, Sherlock, absolutely loved it. From murderers to terrorists, to even consulting criminals, it housed it all. Except for one thing you so desperately wanted. A child. Ever since you were about six, despite having previously sworn off sentiment and having absolutely no friends or social skills, you knew you would manage to have a baby somehow. That was the reason for today’s (actually, your second ever) fight with Sherlock. After three years together, taking him as your husband, and many promises of these sort of things, you finally were at the end of your rope.
“Children ruin things, y/n! Why on earth would you want one?!” Sherlock rarely shouted, especially at you, but he believed this was getting nuts.
“Because Sherlock! I want a child, I’ve always wanted one, and you knew that perfectly well, too!” Usually when people began screeching, you slinked away. Yelling was one of those things that flashed you back to your life before turning 18. You didn’t have ‘Sunday dinners’, you had Sunday beatings. You went to church every Sunday, your mother harshly dragging you up the steeple steps, your father threatening with all the things he’d do to you when you got home. And those were only the things he’d do with your mother around. Eventually, screaming became a sign of a whooping coming, a warning you never let go of. But tonight was different. Tonight you were screaming as well.
“WE ARE NOT HAVING A CHILD, AND THAT IS THAT!” We? He said we… A sly, sickening grin spread across your face. We meant not you and Sherlock. Sherlock didn’t own you. He couldn’t control if you had a child with someone else.
“Alright,” you said in a calmly manner, which both shocked and terrified him, “we won’t have a child, Sherlock.” He nodded softly with your words, head bobbing on each given syllable, but his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Good. Glad that’s finally decided.” He chose each word carefully. Plucking every needed word to convey what he meant.
“Me, too. Well then, I should be off.” You scooped up your purse as Sherlock’s eyes widened to the size of baseballs. You draped your f/c trench coat over your arm.
“And where do you think you’re going at this hour?” He snapped, unable to deduce the situation. He was clever, but you both knew you could beat him at chess any day. In simple terms; You were much smarter.
“To have a baby, of course.” You stated simply without turning to face him.
“I think you’re missing something for that to happen.” He said a little too proudly. Yes, you definitely were, that’s why you needed to get going.
“Currently? Yes, I am. But I should be able to make it to James’ house before nine.” All of Sherlock’s confidence fell. Moriarty had been his enemy for along time. Usually over a battle of wits, but that changed when the world’s best spy (you) came along.
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Okay, so he wasn’t just upset, he was pissed.
“Nothing at all. If you won’t give me a baby, then I’ll find someone who will. Jim is a more than reliable donor; handsome, smart, and willing. What else do I need?” You went to turn the knob, only cracking the door before Sherlock slammed his hand on it to keep it shut.
“How about, NOT A PSYCHOPATH?!” You glared at Sherlock, and he did the same back. This is what everyone feared. Some swore you two glaring at each other would be WW III.
“Well, I would’ve had a sociopath, but he’s too involved with himself to have a child. Too involved to sleep with his own bloody wife.” You snapped coldly back, taking Sherlock further aback. So maybe this wasn’t the first thing that you were upset about. When it was clear you were going nowhere soon, you spun on your heal, and headed back to the shared bedroom. Part of your thoughts raced to the consulting criminal, and how he would’ve gladly just said yes. The other part believed maybe you were too hard on Sherl. The door creaked open, and you glanced at the alarm clock on your nightstand. A full hour had passed, and Sherlock seemed almost as beaten up about the whole thing as you.
“Listen love, I know you want a child. I know that it means the world to you. But… Damn this is hard to say aloud… But I don’t want to lose you.” He seemed to be choking on tears as he shut the door behind him. He crawled onto the mattress with you, arms carefully encircling your smaller figure.
“Why would you lose me Sherlock?” This was starting to concern you. It was greatly unlike him to show any emotion, whatsoever. Now, suddenly, he was tearing up, acting torn apart, and engaging in more physical contact than you thought he was capable of.
“Because, I don’t know (and I really don’t like not knowing), the baby would take up all your time. All your attention would belong to it.” A tear came to your eye at the moment, realizing how much you meant to him was a beautiful thing.
“Sherlock, this isn’t like with John. You’d be helping raise this child, and yes, you’d have to share my attention, but trust me, you won’t even notice.” You could feel his weak smile, and knew he was going to say something quite suggestive.
“Want to test that theory?”

Sherlock Rewrite: Sherlock Holmes

The man, the myth, the unbearable pain in the ass. 

This my version of Sherlock in a modern remake: utterly separate from any other version you’re thinking of. (Sorry Mr Cumberbatch.) Hopefully this post will clear up some issues people had with other posts I’ve put up pertaining to Johnlock, since my characterisation is a little different to what people are used to.

Keep reading

Hello Detective (Sherlock) Chapter 31

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9   Part 10   Part 11   Part 12   Part 13   Part 14   Part 15   Part 16   Part 17   Part 18   Part 19   Part 20   Part 21   Part 22   Part 23   Part 24   Part 25   Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33   Part 34   Part 35   Part 36   Part 37   Part 38  Part 39   Part 40     Part 41   Part 42   Part 43   Part 44   Part 45   Part 46   Part 47   Part 48   Part 49   Part 50  Part 51  Part 52 Part 53  Part 54  Part 55   Part 56  Part 57 Part 58 Part 59 Part 60 Part 61

When you left the abandoned factory you went immediately to Baker Street. You needed to know how much Sherlock had heard. When you got to the door there was a piece of paper slipped under the knocker. It read’ Crime in progress. Please disturb’. You pushed the door open and rushed up the stairs.

“What’s going on?” You asked as you walked in the door. You turned your head and saw your uncle Ryan tied to a chair with duct tape over his mouth and blood on his face.

“Mrs. Hudson’s been attacked by an American, I’m restoring balance to the universe.” Sherlock said, probably not realising that you too were an American. Sherlock was on the phone and pointing a gun at your uncle. You rushed to Mrs. Hudson who was sitting on  the couch. You noticed a cut on her cheek where she was clearly punched.

“Are you alright?” you asked, hugging her as she cried.

“This is a new low, even for you.” You growled at your uncle.

“Take her downstairs and look after her.” Sherlock instructed you. You got up began walking through the door.

“Sherlock um, what Irene said…” You began.

“That’s not something I really want to talk about right now Y/N because if we do I will murder this man.” Sherlock said, standing above your uncle still pointing the gun at him. You only nodded and followed Mrs. Hudson downstairs.

You got some disinfectant on a cotton ball and began lightly dabbing it on Mrs. Hudson’s cut.

“Oh, it stings.” She whispered. There was a sudden crash outside of the window.

“Oh, that was right on my bins.” Mrs. Hudson said, Sherlock had thrown your uncle out of the window.

Later Lestrade showed up and an ambulance took your uncle away.

“Exactly how many times did he fall out of the window?” you heard Lestrade ask Sherlock.

“It’s all a bit of a blur Detective Inspector. I lost count.” Sherlock said. “Trust me, you would have done the same thing knowing what I know.”

You followed Mrs. Hudson back into the kitchen of her flat where John was now. John was insisting that she needed to stay in their flat so he could keep an eye on her, while she and Sherlock insisted she was fine.

“She’s got to take some time away from Baker Street. She can go stay with her sister. Doctor’s orders.” John said as Sherlock rummaged through her fridge.

“Don’t be absurd.” Sherlock said, eating a stolen biscuit.

“She’s in shock, for God’s sake, all over some bloody stupid camera-phone.” John said.

“Where is it, anyway?” You asked.

“Safest place I know.” Sherlock said casually, looking to Mrs. Hudson.

“You left it in the pocket of your second-best dressing gown, you clot!” Mrs. Hudson said, pulling it out of her shirt. “I managed to sneak it out when they thought I was having a cry.”

“Thank you.” Sherlock said. “Shame on you, John Watson.”

“Shame on me?” John asked confused.

“Mrs. Hudson leave Baker Street? England would fall.” Sherlock said, as he hugged Mrs. Hudson who was now laughing. You followed Sherlock and John up to their flat for a drink.

“Whatever’s on that phone is more than just pictures.” John said, handing you a drink.

“Yes, it is.” Sherlock said, picking up his violin. You heard a clock tolling outside, signaling midnight.

“Happy New Year.” Sherlock said, giving you a quick kiss before he began to play Auld Lang Syne on his violin.

That night you decided to return home, sensing Sherlock might need some space. You wished Mrs. Astor a Happy New Year and began up the stairs to your flat. You showered, slipped into some pajamas and crawled into the cold bed. After about two hours of sleep you woke up to the sound of your name. Your eyes fluttered open to see Sherlock sitting on the bed next to you.

“Sherlock?” You asked in a groggy voice.

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep. I need to know the truth, Y/N. I’ve been running scenarios through my head all night. I hate not knowing, but more than that I hate the thought of you in pain.” Sherlock said.

“You want me to tell you about Ryan?” You asked quietly. Sherlock nodded. You sat up  so your back was against the headboard, Sherlock moved so he was the same.

“Um, ok well I told you before that we lived in Manhattan. My dad was always working so he wasn’t really around much. My uncle at the time worked in the New York FBI office. When I was about 15 or 16 I was home alone a lot. Angelica was already in college and Charles played sports so he was always home late. Back then my mother still worked, she was a dress designer so she was at her studio a lot. When she was busy she would ask her brother to pick me up from school sometimes if he was free. Conveniently he always was. Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as friends and family. He would bring me home and when he realized no one else was there that was when he would do it.” You began, tears threatening to spill.

“I should have killed him when I had the chance.” Sherlock said angrily.

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Sherlock. It wouldn’t undo anything he did, nothing could.” You said.

“Did you ever tell anyone?” He asked.

“I tried, once I almost told my brother. I came home crying and I didn’t know Charles was home, he hugged me, asked me what was wrong. Right before I told him, my uncle walked in the door, most likely looking for me. He knew I was about to tell him, he made up some lie that he was looking for our mom or something, knowing she wouldn’t be home for a few more hours. Next time I saw him he had just ran over my dog, making sure I wouldn’t try to tell anyone again.” You said.

“What about going to the police?” Sherlock asked.

“By then he was so well respected in the Bureau that they would have never believed me. I was a kid, he was top candidate for Director of the FBI. Besides in America, girls hardly ever win rape cases. If you tell someone you were raped they say one of two things. What were you wearing, or you were asking for it.” You explained.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Sherlock said.

“It’s over now Sherlock, it’s been over for a while. I’m okay, it’s been over ten years since it happened.” You said, growing tired. You looked at the clock, 2:50.

“How did Irene Adler know? Who else knows?” Sherlock asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve never told anyone before now. I think Mycroft deduced it when I asked him…” You began before Sherlock cut you off.

“You asked Mycroft to do what?” He asked, concerned.

“When we were at my mother’s house, I called Mycroft and asked him to pull up any dirt he could on him. He knew off the top of his head that he’s been a double agent working for the Russian government for years now. But Mycroft would never tell anyone, I don’t know who Irene is getting her intel from. Someone capable of finding out secrets like that is not someone I want to piss off.” You said. Sherlock only nodded, clearly thinking himself.

“Sherlock, can I ask you something?” You asked, he was pulled from his train of thought and turned to face you, mumbling a yes.

“When you first pulled that camera phone out of the box did you think it could be Moriarty? I mean he’s done it before.” You said.

“I think it was just a coincidence.” Sherlock said.

“We’re detectives, we don’t believe in coincidence.” You smiled, laying your head back on your pillow.

Sherlock began to stand, preparing to leave.

“You can stay you know?” You smiled. He turned around with a smile on his face.

“I’d want nothing more.” He smiled as he snuggled into the bed next to you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest.

I Want To Break Free: Or How Sherlock got his groove back.

So, did anyone else think that Jim Moriarty’s playlist song - Queen’s “I Want To Break Free” - might have been intentionally introduced as one of the metaphors for The Final Problem? As well as Sherlock and Molly? Honest to God, I never thought, in a bazillion years, I’d end up writing a song meta. I love music, surrounded by musicians & music - but a meta? Who woulda thunk….

There’s some spectacular metas floating around that go into incredible detail about the Sherlock and Molly set-up (excellent reading, btw), but this song, more or less, sums it up in a nutshell. It truly is a mixture of fears, thoughts and feelings that have been exchanged between these two characters since the very beginning, including within themselves. It couldn’t have been more perfectly and surreptitiously placed in this episode. Especially as it’s introduced by a crazy mofo.

The focus of love, unacknowledged and unrequited, has always zeroed in on Molly. As she’s pretty much the only ‘real life’ relatable character in this fictional world (aside from Lestrade), one of her functions has been to humanize everyone in the story, although primarily Sherlock. Yes, I know John’s important, but this isn’t about John, so let’s just save focusing on him for another meta.

From the first episode to the last, Molly’s scenes and dialogue are 99.9999% with Sherlock. And the two scenes that weren’t with Sherlock were directly about him. One of those scenes was to purposely inform the other characters regarding his deeply emotional nature and to pay attention (TSoT). The other scene was to inform the viewing audience on the expanded intimacy of their relationship (HLV). Intimacy, in this particular case, is not demonstrated via romantic attachment, but that of evolved trust and friendship.

Love, romantic or otherwise, can’t exist in a vacuum. At least not forever. That’s not the nature of Love. Eventually it has to be set free and this is something we’ve directly seen Molly struggle with. We’ve witnessed her feelings mocked; we’ve witnessed her innocence broken along with her trust shaken and shattered; we witnessed her attempt to focus her heart elsewhere and when that failed, we even witnessed her use of distancing by focusing on the practical, yet unconditional, elements of love. She has always found a way to pick herself up and move on in the healthiest possible way. Always. But, and this is a big BUT, in our distraction of focusing on Molly, many never really saw (shipper goggles set aside), that Sherlock was stuck in the same vacuum.

Both characters, Molly and Sherlock, have needed to set themselves free. Not only from their respective 'prisons’ that have prevented free expression with one another, but the lies they’ve told themselves, and each other, which sustained emotional bondage.

I really dig this passage from the book, A Course In Miracles:

“The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.”

Fear, in this case, has been the gatekeeper of the biggest lie. It truly is the final problem. Breaking down all those barriers to love’s presence. But, it’s also the message behind Queen’s “I Want To Break Free.” It can be so easy to look upon another and see their lies, game playing or self-denial. Not so easy with ourselves, however. Life has sorta trained us to look outside of ourselves for the causation of pain, leaving us beret of personal accountability and culpability of our choices.

I could make this strictly about romantic love, but it’s more than that. Romance is just one of the many avenues in which love can be expressed. Love, itself, is profound and indelible. Choosing to allow, express and receive love with another being is so much more than flowers, kisses, midnight pillow talk, and sex. It requires not only the ability to be vulnerable and authentic, but understanding of the Self. Truly, we cannot hope to extend love to another if we have no concept of who we are, what we’re about, or capable of.

Criminally insane and batshit crazy Jim Moriarty gave us two bold clues about the very long game that was being played out via his soundtrack.

The first was about himself: Staying Alive (Bee Gees, 1977). It was tough for him. Suicide has never been a shy theme in the SHERLOCK series and Jim Moriarty sought what he believed was the ultimate freedom: Death.

The second was about Sherlock’s life: I Want To Break Free (Queen, 1984) from lies. The Final Problem showed us that Sherlock, from a very early age (4 yrs old), chose a revisionist history over acceptance and allowance. If he didn’t like something personal to him, he’d re-write the story. In many respects, this is actually a really healthy thing to do. If we want to change a condition or circumstance in our life for the better - telling a new story is a good way to begin. However, when it involves suppression and self-denial - even when it’s roots were justifiably based in trauma or self-protection - it will eventually erode into attrition. Cognitively, the use of this application, over time, will create a sort of dissonance. With Sherlock, it no longer protected him from trauma - the event had long passed. Instead, it created a different kind of trauma by emotional crippling.

Honestly, all of this has been said before, and more eloquently, in other meta’s (go read 'em), but the 'I Love You’ and 'coffin’ scene are clearly represented in 'I Want To Break Free.’

“But life still goes on; I can’t get used to, living without, living without, Living without you by my side, I don’t want to live alone, hey God knows, got to make it on my own, So baby can’t you see I’ve got to break free.”

In ASiP, Mycroft told John Watson that his therapist got it wrong. He instructed John to fire her. John wasn’t traumatized by the war, he missed it. For as brilliant and remarkable as Mycroft is, unfortunately, he got it wrong by misunderstanding the intention and meaning of “I Love You.” It’s perfectly understandable that he would. Love is something he denies himself, even though it’s something he desires. Mycroft thought 'I love you’ was about someone who loves Sherlock. And, in one respect he was right - it was the clue that Sherlock knew would bust open a fixed decision. And what this particular test was about. If you recall, it was “Vivisection” - the opening of Sherlock so he would recognize, as well as those present, how he really works… and expose what’s going on behind that immutable facade he wears. Ouch! Bet he didn’t wake up that morning thinking, “Today’s the day!” No. He was laid bare and vulnerable - all his arrogance and superiority crushed with three little words - because the I Love You wasn’t about who loves him, it was about who he loves. Ironic how he foretold us this in The Lying Detective:

Your life, once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own.

Of course, he was talking about suicide (and Mary’s death, which he’s grieving), but the point he makes remains valid. Our death is a long term event that will be experienced through loss and grief by those who love us and miss our physical presence. It will be experienced through memories, possessions shared, voids where our life used to stand - but it will also be missed through - “So many days not lived, so many words unsaid, etc, etc, etc.” It might be a difficult fact to face, but when we’re dead, we’re no longer concerned with all the earthly, mundane affairs. We’re soaring through the clouds, re-emerged with non-physical energy and the Conscious Mind. It’s those we leave behind who will be thinking about all the things they never said, but wished they had. They will be thinking about all the things they wished they did, but never got around to. They will think about all the lost moments, never to be retrieved. That’s what grief is relative to death. Irretrievable loss. It’s what my neighbor is currently going through right now…his wife of 35 years passed away on Christmas day.

As a counselor, I speak with thousands of people - directly and through workshops. The primary questions people ask about their loved ones who’ve re-emerged into non-physical are not about “Why didn’t they leave a will?” Or, “I hope they rot in hell.” Instead, they are always about, “Are they okay? I never got to say good-bye. Do they know how much I love them? I never said I Love You. I never said it enough. I always thought we’d have more time. How do I move on? I don’t think I’ll ever be okay. This isn’t happening, it doesn’t feel real.” These are actual concerns the grieving confront upon the death of someone they love, especially as they move through despondency and depression. The dead don’t place a golden plaque on a coffin that says 'I Love You.’ That’s what their beloved does.

If you’ve ever read Harry Potter, Dumbledore sums it up pretty cool, too:

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”

We’ll never actually know exactly how Sherlock and Molly went about resolving this whole thing. That’s what imagination and fanfic is for. But, like Sherlock, Moffat and Gatiss don’t have a problem saying: “We’ll leave you to your own deductions.” Since clues are like gold in this show, Molly’s effervescent smile at the end sums it up nicely: They Broke Free.

Mycroft DID NOT help Sherlock fake his death

This one is going to be the first backing meta for the Analyzing the rooftop scene post. It ‘d be better if you have read the main meta first in order to be aware of all the points and arguments used there, but it works perfectly on its own as well. 

As I already explained in the main post, I don’t believe Mycroft and Molly helped Sherlock fake his death and the simplest argument for this is that in this case there was no reason for Sherlock to fabricate a false explanation when he returned to London. I will also remind you of my RULE #2:  When you see a character in a show or a movie act devastated, confused, scared or sad when they are alone or nobody sees them, then this is genuine, otherwise we are talking about poor writing, cheap tricks and huge plot holes, no matter what excuse is given afterwards.

In short the point of this post is that Mycroft knew exactly what would happen to Sherlock, he didn’t help his brother fake his death and he’s not a villain. Too crazy? Not really. 

First of all, I will explain why I am such a strong believer that Mycroft is a good guy. I don’t believe Moriarty works for Mycroft and I don’t believe Mycroft works for Moriarty either. And, in fact, a single scene as evidence is enough for me: 

Keep reading


As usual, I’m more interested in figuring out the past of this show than predicting specifics of its future. But what can I say–they sucked me in with this one.

So… What’s “Moriarty” going to do next?

Keep reading

Mycroft, the ultimate villain

Sherlock has said that his brother is the most dangerous man but he never occupied himself with him because he wasn’t his problem… yet (see ASiP). That’s the first time he talks about his brother and look at how he expresses himself. Mycroft is the British government. How many times has Sherlock mentioned that?

TST. Mycroft confronts Lady Smallwood because Sherlock believes she’s the one who warned AGRA. What is he suppose to do? Of course he questions her. I honestly believe that she had nothing to do with it.

She’s calling him out. Mycroft knows that Sherlock wouldn’t suspect him to have been involved in something so shady. So what does Sherlock end up thinking? It must be the receptionist, Vivian Norbury. Sure. Perhaps.

But I think Mycroft is the one behind it all. He’s the mastermind behind this whole ordeal. Again, he has powers that nobody even knows of. In TAB, Mary figures out info on E. Ricoletti before Mycroft. Really? She only has as much access as she’s been allowed. She isn’t the British government, after all.

Look at how the camera focuses on him in the mirror. He can’t hide. Mycroft just plays dumb, so to speak. If he were to reveal just how much he knows or how much power he has, everything he’s been planning would backfire. He’s not innocent. Just think of all of the info he gave Moriarty, info that was used against his brother. He might’ve felt bad and I would like to think that he truly did (I love Mycroft). He does loves Sherlock and his conscience gets to him. The question is, how far back does his conscience retain him? 

He looks concerned. He knows Sherlock wouldn’t think it’s him that’s why his plan has been working so far. He knows Sherlock is not an idiot, though. He’s getting closer and he could very well discover the truth. 

Sherlock knows something is wrong. He suspects it and he’s cross examining both of them. Without context, you can't tell who is the one being interrogated here. He’s looking at Mycroft with piercing eyes. He’s staring at him because I think he’s starting to doubt who his own brother is. 

Whatever is happening on the bridge at the end of TST, if it’s real, fake or misleading, the only reason he thought it was Norbury is because it was planted in his mind, put there to make it seem like it was the only logical conclusion. He even replayed what Mary said earlier about receptionists. The only other person that came to his mind was Mycroft. Mary and Mycroft, two people who can't be fully trusted. They are a part of the problem. But who or what is the final problem? 

“They said it was an English woman.” Ajay heard this when he was captured. We know Mycroft has the ability to blend in. Look at TEH. He says he’s capable on smuggling his way into their ranks. "I didn’t know you spoke Serbian.“ Mycroft says, “I don’t…it took me a couple of hours.” The hostages spoke Georgian. You really think Mycroft couldn’t learn that? To earn their trust and plant whatever info he wanted them to know? He might be slipping in his middle age but he is capable of so much. He planted the English woman idea in the hostages’ head and in turn that is what they told Ajay. That’s how it all started to unravel. Do you really think they just forgot about Ajay in a cell? They let him escape. He wants to take out Mary because that’s what he is made to think. What a perfect way to pull out loose threads.

Mycroft: “I don’t like loose ends.” 

Damn. I’m almost pretty sure he is the ultimate villain. It plays out well with my analysis of the chess game promo pic that’s been going around. Check it out.

Everything Has Changed – Johnlock Relationship Timeline & Prediction

It’s me again! Back with another Sherlock meta. I just love this show and Series 3 blew my mind. I started looking back at the Johnlock timeline and noticed something about Scandal” and “TSoT” and the next fourth. I’ve just kind of thrown this all together Feel free to disagree and point out inconsistencies. Or add to my observations! I may have to start organizing my rambles eventually. 

Thesis: Every four episodes of Sherlock there is a Johnlock realization and the consequences are exhibited and emphasized in the episode immediately after.

Prediction: Episode 12 (Series 4 Episode 3) will see both Sherlock and John recognizing the other reciprocates their feelings. Episode 13 (Series 5 Episode 1) will exhibit the consequences of that recognition. 

The Road So Far:

  1. A Study in Pink – Johnlock seeds planted

  2. The Blind Banker – Heteronormativity established, but the Johnlock plant budded a bit

  3. The Great Game – Pain. Lots of pain. The Johnlock relationship took a drastic turn when they agreed to die together. Were it a man and a woman, it’d be one of the most romantic things in the show. However, man/man, it’s just a really good BROTP. Let’s just forget about this moment:


  4. Scandal in Belgravia – The Battersea Power Station scene is when John realized his feelings for Sherlock. Irene Adler points out that he’s her exception as well. Except she and Sherlock are playing a game. John is in it for the long haul. Episode four: John realizes he has feelings for Sherlock.

  5. The Hound of Baskerville – John becomes quite terse with Sherlock when he exhibits his borderline robotic tendencies. He points out Sherlock’s habits that make him more attractive because it … well, it makes him more attractive and John can’t have him. The whole episode is pointless in my purview, except to sow the Johnlock seeds. Episode 5: John tries to live with the fact he has feelings for Sherlock. Got any crisps?

  6. Reichenbach Fall – Pain. Lots of pain.

  7. The Empty Hearse – Johnlock tension resolved with a joke, violence, a fire, etc.

  8. The Sign of Three - During the best man speech, Sherlock deduces he is in love with John. Literally the worst time to make that realization. So well-thought-out, so well-written, I’m still floored by the cinematography … brilliant all around. Episode 8: Sherlock realizes he is in love with John.

  9. His Last Vow – Pain. Lots of pain as Sherlock does everything to both distract himself from John’s sex holiday and support John & Mary as a couple. He brought himself back to life for John. Any doubt the casual viewer had about Sherlock’s feelings for John should be totally erased, I believe. But I’ve been rooting for Johnlock since I began watching and my shipper goggles are permanently attached. Episode 9: Sherlock tries to cope with his feelings for an unavailable John Watson.

There are a couple patterns there. Each of the series’ finale episodes has a lot of pain. The most important, though, is every four episodes there is a Johnlock realization. In episode 4, John could no longer repress his romantic attraction to Sherlock. It is remarkable he got through TGG with his denial intact. In episode 8, Sherlock deduced himself. He has been in love with John Watson for years and repressed those feelings because they were intellectually stifling.

That realization led to a very complicated episode 9. We, the audience, certainly do not have the full story. We can only observe what we see, and what we saw was Sherlock trying to protect John from the most evil threat he could imagine. He damns himself in the process, but what’s a romantic arc without the threat of death now and again?

The next fourth conveniently falls on a series finale. Moftiss love their cliffhangers and that one is going to be the worst of them all. The only remaining romantic realization is their romantic attraction to each other. After the tarmac scene, I believe they know how they feel about each other. Though, circumstances prevent them from actualizing anything. That will change in Series 4 Episode 3—I believe. The onscreen realization will hopefully be a montage of previous Johnlock scenes as the non-Johnlock audience realizes, “We saw, but did not observe.”

Then comes the opener of Series 5! There will be the resolution of the cliffhanger and then the two of them having to deal with their newfound partnership. Hudders will probably throw a party. I’d wager Series 5 will be the last full series; only one-offs after that. That’s my expectant timeline. I just thought it a bit lovely how the every-four-episodes romantic recognition lines up.

The After-Episodes

John’s really miffed in THoB because he doesn’t think Sherlock is capable of romantic attraction. That’s why when asked, “Is yours a snorer?” He doesn’t deny they are a couple. I don’t think he’s annoyed anymore when people insinuate they are. He wouldn’t mind if they were. However, he doesn’t want to be attracted to Sherlock because it’s (seemingly) unrequited. That is why John is upset when Sherlock turns his coat collar up. He looks cool and it emphasizes his cheekbones; John is attracted to that and he can’t have it. So it irritates him.

Then Sherlock rejects him on the whole with, “I don’t have friends!” John’s just fed up with it. He storms off, quite upset, and spends the bulk of the episode trying to cope with how he is now situated with Sherlock.

In HLV, Sherlock goes back to drugs because John’s with Mary now. CAM never believed the drugs thing so it was a bust otherwise. Sherlock needed an excuse to do drugs and CAM handed him one. Then, Sherlock brings himself back to life for John. We see mind palace Moriarty convincing Sherlock death is peaceful. Sherlock’s mind is accepting death right until, “John Watson is definitely in danger.” BOOM! Eyes open, he’s climbing up the staircase, and Sherlock is going to save John Watson because John Watson is the most incredible human being he has ever had the good fortune to meet.

Any doubt about Sherlock’s love for John should have been erased by HLV. Though I believed it was rather clear in TSoT. This is such a fabulous love story, so meticulously lined out, and I look forward to what I assume will be a Christmas special. Perhaps they’ll satiate us with a summer 2015 special leading up to a Christmas/New Year’s Series 4 run. 

Just observing (3)

He may be a virus or weakness, but I know I wouldn’t let Watson or anybody else kick Jim after this:

If I ever get shot by my best friend’s wife, I want doctor Moriarty to be there to say the magic words. Granted that it took him some time to find the right ones but still much better than what anybody else trying to help Sherlock was capable of offering.

Kind of odd that Sherlock seems to have forgotten that he’s alive because of Moriarty. And the same John Watson who was supposed to be in danger because of Mary gets rid of Jim in TAB? I guess the poor treatment and lack of gratitude mean that the writers want us to forget all about That Wife being the reason why Sherlock almost died and, well, survived too.

What it doesn’t explain is why it looks like Jim is helping Sherlock in TAB too. Yes, Sherlock keeps saying that Jim is trying to distract and derail him (that’s what They do sometimes, Sherlock) but to me he seems to be helping Sherlock to focus.

And let’s not forget that it was Sherlock himself who “summoned” him in the first place. More importantly, he isn’t afraid of Them anymore, judging by his interaction with Jim.

Later, Jim is the one who tells him that the women are criminals, not some self-sacrificing reformists with a worthy cause, as Mycroft wanted Sherlock to think.

MORIARTY: I mean, come on, be serious. Costumes, the gong. Speaking as a criminal mastermind, we don’t really have gongs, or special outfits.

Honestly Sherlock, maybe it’s time to stop parroting your brother. Have you considered the possibility that Mycroft’s motives had nothing to do with the women, or at least not with their “war”? Or that he was mistaken.

Thank you, Jim. Very decent of you to tell Sherlock that. Pity you couldn’t arrive earlier. It would’ve saved us all from the embarrassment of having to listen to Sherlock’s speech about the invisible elbow-hoverers. I’m sure the writers too are thankful for having you. The “it’s all a dream” explanation is hardly an original way out of a mystery that doesn’t make sense but better than nothing, I suppose.

Here he is again, telling Sherlock he’s gone too far. Being nice-ish, reserved and, I don’t know, a bit disappointed? Until Sherlock calls him “short-arse”. Why the rudeness, I wonder? Seems like Sherlock doesn’t understand that if Jim’s never dead in his mind, like he claims, Sherlock must find a way to turn him into something positive instead of trying to get rid of Them.

*Raises hand eagerly* I know, I know! (And so should you, Sherlock.)

AWWWW… What do you think, fans? A moment of silence to contemplate the best friend one could ever hope one’s worst enemy to have?



The only person I could consider wanting John to be best friends with is already married to him. How convenient. Anyway, enough of those two. Much more fun to concentrate on Sherlock. To him emotions = the grit on the lens, the fly in the ointment, according to THoB.

Look at that! Consistent writing. Isn’t it beautiful? Must enjoy while it lasts. But forget the part with John saying that machine-Sherlock-without-heart is just something he writes, not what he believes. Because that’s wishful thinking on Sherlock’s part, isn’t it? Forget “abhorrent” too. It’s Sherlock lying.

And what have we here?

So, let me get this right: emotions = grit on/crack in the lens, the fly in the ointment = the virus in the data =

Bingo! You really should’ve understood what Jim represents by now, Sherlock. I wonder if you got it after he ever so handily called himself a virus? (What did we talk about parroting your big brother? You can’t blame Jim for being disappointed and angry.) Or was it when he called himself your weakness and hit you? Or didn’t you quite get it yet? It must be a bit confusing to be a Gatiss & Moffat creation, after all.

Of course it’s possible that the writers lost their emotions = Moriarty thread all of a sudden in their eagerness to redo the fall and have John there too. Why they thought it was a good idea to make John treat Sherlock’s emotions so poorly again is a mystery to me. And why does Sherlock let him do that?

Well, what with the way HLV ended, I guess it’s realistic to expect John to be happily kicking Sherlock’s emotions in his mind, but Sherlock should’ve learned a lesson from what happened and let Jim kick John’s arse instead. I mean, Jim used John to save Sherlock’s life. OTOH, Sherlock jumped after Jim, so who knows? Maybe he’s ready to let his emotions carry him (away from the Watsons).

Tl;dr: I think Sherlock should treat his emotions like

(Part 2)

Does Sherlock really, "delete", things from his mind?

I don’t know if I believe Sherlock when he says he deletes things from his mind.

In the beginning of TGG we see John and Sherlock discuss his lack of basic astronomy knowledge. During the deduction at the art gallery, Sherlock saves the would-be bomb victim with some obscure astronomical knowledge that he seemed to dredge from pretty deep in his mind: if he’d just learnt that it might’ve come to mind more quickly.

We are not shown whether Sherlock spent all day boning up on his knowledge of astronomy or whether he already knew these things and was lying to John about it. We know that Sherlock lies; it’s one of the reasons why the original deduction of Mary as a liar did not alarm him in TEH.  In TSOT Mary confirms that Sherlock not only lies but that she notices when he does so.

So, there’s a possibility that Sherlock attempts to delete things (like he attempts to delete feelings) but we don’t know that he necessarily succeeds nor do we know if he was telling the truth to John about the solar system. Maybe he was just trying to seem likeable like he discusses in MHR with regards to winking.

We see in ASIB that, “people want to know you’re human”, is John’s rationale for putting an unsolved case on his blog. Sherlock has been constantly trying to impress John (and succeeding) since the moment he first met him. In fact, if the things he says he deletes are like his feelings then we know that he fails entirely. I see the solar system as symbolic of his emotions, something he claims he eschews as it has no purpose in his life. If it does help with the work (astronomy) or if it hinders the work (sentiment), he claims to delete it. But astronomy saves the child in TGG and sentiment turns out to be the real motivator behind him solving cases, anyway, like when he solves the Sholto case.

Further, the idea of the unreliable narrator is very strong in Acd stories.  Moffat and Gatiss have gone as far as to say that when Watson claims that a mystery woman killed Milverton that they did not believe him.  Being entirely too convenient an event considering the circumstances they interpret this version of events as a coverup of the likely truth: that Holmes or Watson killed him.  Unreliable narration due to Watson idealizing Holmes is part of the relentless romantic subtext, as well: Watson would purposely obscure the unflattering or damning while also unknowingly over emphasizing the good due to his love and infatuation.

The idea that anything that the characters say could be false is heavily shown via various denials and admissions.  Mrs Hudson’s, “I’m not your housekeeper”, (while constantly cleaning their flat and bringing food and tea) being one of the more didactic ones.  We’ve seen that, despite his claims, Sherlock is not a sociopath.  And we’ve seen that his Mind Palace contains pop culture information he claims to eschew in TGG.  In THoB we see his MP contains such randomness as knowing Hounddog by Elvis, which seems like a likely candidate for his so-called deletion.  

In HLV we see Sherlock’s mind palace to contains forces he has attempted to put away such as Moriarty, representing his id.  If he really were capable of deleting would he not have succeeded at discarding this feared part of himself?  I think the whole point is that try as he might he can’t.  He can’t delete anything.  Not his emotions, or his sex drive or his ramdom bits of knowledge.  In TEH, John suggests that maybe he, somewhere in his mind, knows how to diffuse a bomb.  And though his first reaction is to mock the idea, he quickly concedes that, in fact, you never know what could be in there.

The idea that Sherlock can delete things from his Mind Palace I think then can be seen as possibly outright false: a way to appear more human to John by feigning ignorance.  We see in TSoT that Sherlock begins the Rizla game with a joke and receives positive feedback (‘am I a vegetable?’).  He, soon after, mentions the current king of England.  If we do not take this at face value we could see it as an continuation of Sherlock wanting to make john laugh; he succeeds.  Or a continuation of him wanting to seem human to John.  A kind of taylor-made modesty just for John.  (We can see his, “I’m no hero”, speech in TGG as possibly impressing John via genuine modesty).

We can also see his claim to delete things as aspirational: he attempts to keep his mind tidy of clutter, such as random facts and feelings, anything that doesn’t help the work, but we see that he fails, at least with regard to the latter and that eventually both prove to be pivotal to the work, anyway.

johnwatsonisalive reblogged your post and added:

Exactly all of this!!! John’s discomfort with his…

Okay, here’s where we disagree.  I absolutely believe that Johnlock has been endgame for this series since the beginning and that the show is about sexuality issues and their relationship.  They literally sacrifice believable text plot lines in order to create really consistent subtext and keep the story focused around John and Sherlock’s relationship.  Season 3 literally makes no sense if this isn’t a love story.  That’s why people can’t figure out how to feel about it.  (Not the Johnlock shippers who are dying inside with grief for them, but everyone else who just can’t figure out what the hell was going on.)  

So you brought up five points:

1) John’s discomfort with his bisexuality.  I don’t think John’s as uncomfortable with his bisexuality as we think he is.  Yes, as we’ve discussed above, he’s not a completely self-actualized bisexual.  But I believe that one of the big reasons he hides it is that he doesn’t want Sherlock to realize he’s in love with him, because he doesn’t believe Sherlock is capable of returning his feelings.  John Watson would give up his straight privilege immediately and all day long if he got the go ahead from Sherlock Holmes.  He’s not going to have a sexual identity crisis.  He knows he’s in love with Sherlock.  He’s known it for years.  He keeps trying to protect himself from it but he just can’t stop, to the point that he stopped trying to date after ASiB, because he couldn’t manage a relationship with anyone else and his girlfriends knew he was in love with Sherlock anyway.  (I firmly believe that Mary knows as well.  She’s not stupid.)

John’s sexual identity isn’t the real barrier, it’s their perceptions of one another’s sexuality, John’s inability to express his feelings and Sherlock’s inability to let John close that have been keeping them apart.  Well, Sherlock has finally let the love in, so the main barrier to their relationship from the beginning is gone.  But now they have a bunch of other crap to deal with, which brings us to the next point. 

2)  Mary and the baby have been set up to act as plot points for John and Sherlock’s relationship.  I literally can’t believe that anyone thinks John is going to stay with her.  SHE KILLED SHERLOCK.  John does not trust her.  HLV was entirely about why Sherlock is better than Mary and better for John than Mary.  Mary is selfish, and Sherlock has learned to be selfless for love of John Watson, and that is quite an accomplishment for Sherlock Holmes.  I don’t know what they’re going to do about the baby, and there are numerous things they can do from fake pregnancy (which I doubt, because John’s not stupid) to it’s not John’s (which I think is most likely) to Parentlock (which would definitely hurt their ratings, so I find that unlikely).  But regardless of what they do with the baby, Mary will be gone by the end of Season 4.  She is a bad guy.  She was likely a plant to begin with.  She was probably working with Moriarty.  

John is not going to live happily ever after with her.  He lays in bed with her dreaming of Sherlock rescuing him, and that was before he found out she was an assassin and then apparently moved back into 221B for a few months to get away from her (as seems likely from the Sherlock: The Network app and the fact she was surprised he even spoke to her at Christmas).  John doesn’t trust her and we aren’t meant to either, which is really evident by the way they cut directly from the confrontation to the “reconciliation” in HLV - there was zero resolution.  I predict that she is going to point her gun at Sherlock again next season, and John is going to end her (literally or figuratively).  She would already be gone if she weren’t pregnant, so the pregnancy is simply drawing out the drama into next season.    

3) Public outcry.  I believe that this is the whole point of The Johnlock Conspiracy.  This show is meant to be subversive.  I believe in Gatiss.  Look at who Gatiss is!  Look at his history!  This man sat down, rubbed his hands together gleefully and said We’re going to do a Holmes/Watson romance, kiddies.  It’s so evident from the Unaired Pilot, and when they realized they would have more time, they dialed it way back so it could be more dramatic and more subversive.  They want the public outcry.  They’re gagging for it.        

4) And Moffatt.  So yeah, I get why everyone believes that Moffatt is homophobic.  And I will grant you that the lockdown on leaking Johnlock can be really discouraging and make you doubt the goodness of humanity.  But let’s also remember who Moffatt is.  This is a man with a history of lying in order to increase the drama of his big reveals and getting others to go along with it.  If Sherlock were going to be straight and end up with a woman, he would have shown some amount of interest in any of the women he’s had access to in the show - but he hasn’t, because they’re all foils for John.  And there is just no heterosexual interpretation of Sherlock’s behavior in HLV.  And the fucking Casablanca scene!  How much more obvious can they get?!

And before anyone asks about Ben and Martin:  Ben and Martin are professionals and neither one of them would have an issue with playing gay men.  Ben just did it.  And I think Martin is positively gleeful about Johnlock but on total lockdown about it.  Ben is a little uncomfortable with the huge amount of erotic attention he’s getting, and it’s hard to blame him.  (I’m a little uncomfortable with the amount of erotic attention Ben is getting, and I write Johnlock smut.)  But that doesn’t mean he didn’t sign on for this in the show and isn’t committed to it.    

5) And Amanda.  My feeling about Amanda is the same as my feeling about Ben.  Just because she’s uncomfortable with the amount of erotic attention from the fandom doesn’t mean she would object to her partner playing a bisexual in a relationship with another man.  He’s an actor.  I think none of them anticipated the enormity of this ship, and they’re all still figuring out how to deal with it.  Martin does the best job of it, and I bless him eternally for that.     

Okay, I’ve worn myself out.  Your move. :-)



Some more random musing on the Holmes Boys family history


There is still something lurking in the shadows of the past hauting Sherlock Holmes and his brother Mycroft. We can feel it in our bones … even if we can’t quite lay a finger on it directly. There is something hidden - old bones burried deep - something that made Sherlock the man he is now … and Mycroft too.

This is another attempt to look more closely into the family dynamics of our favourite detective. Some weeks after TAB - in late january - I posted my very first thoughts and ideas on this topic. (X)   Looking back I can say that I wouldn’t change much of it. A few things I see a bit differently now. But there are also things to add … new thoughts … new ideas.

As @thebisonwitheadphones stated in ‘Climax’ : “Moriarty, Mary, and anything else is not the main story. If this were a detective show, where the cases mattered, then I would be inclined to say Sherlock vs Moriarty was the show’s central plot. But it’s not. BBC Sherlock is not a detective story, it’s a drama.”

And that it is … the story of Sherlocks life … how he became the man he is … how he finds friendship and true love … how he fights the deamons of his past and present enemies.


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