i realized the other day that when i have misha breakdowns this is what happens

Mentally Unstable

Pairing: Jensen x reader (platonic till the end), Jared x reader (platonic)

Trigger warnings: mental illness, slight depression, anger outburst, language, very little spn canon violence, self loathing (I guess. Basically the reader doesn’t like herself), bad traffic (yes that’s a warning), reader being bitchy

Word Count: 3131

Summary: You wake instantly knowing you are going to have one of your “bad” days meaning your emotions are going to be a mess. Sure enough angry outburst start your day when you nearly kick the crap out of a guy in traffic and nearly bit off Jared and Jensen’s heads. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like this will be going away any time soon. How are you supposed to keep it hidden from people who are practically your family and how will this affect the major scenes you must shoot? That’s right you are an actress on Supernatural, but can you keep your emotion in check long enough to get through the day?

A/N: Hey y’all first I want to say I have no fucking Idea where this came from. It wasn’t planned at all. It’s basically word vomit on a page because I had a really crappy day in which some of the things in the story actually happened to me. So, I guess writing some fluffy J2 helped me get over my shitty day. I also wrote the reader based off myself in a way because these emotional issues are ones I face and today was one of the “bad” days for me. Literally wrote this between the times of 8pm and 4am so there’s barely any editing done and I apologize for any mistakes. Its currently 4:30 and I have no ambition to check. Any who, I know I had more to say but I forget, oh well enjoy. P.S. This is my first RPF so be easy on me please. As always feedback is appreciated and wanted and hate will not be tolerated.

***Italics are scenes being shot for the show***

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fragilelittleflametay  asked:

Hi there! I love your blog!! I'm new to the J2 ship (I was at MinnCon so of course I hurled myself onto that ship real quick like) and am looking for fics based around past cons. If you have some recs or could point me to a specific tag that would be amazing!!

Hi, darlin’!  Thank you so much <333 I’m so glad that you have found my blog and the lovely ship that is J2 and I am extremely envious that you were at MinnCon aka the reason I’ve been having a breakdown for the last few days!

I have found a few fics focused on past conventions, but first I am going to rec to you:

The Courtship of Jensen’s Co-Star by qblackheart 

Somewhere in the time between a handshake and a hug, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki went from being reel-life brothers to real-life best friends, and complete strangers to cosmic soul mates, no rhyme or reason to it that either of them could ever see. Jared was everything Jensen was not: friendly, funny, and full of life; one in six-point-whatever billion the Earth’s population currently stood at. Life was awesome. Work was amazing. Everything was fine until Jared kissed Jensen. Everything was peachy until Jensen fell in love. With desperate times unexpectedly calling for desperate measures, Jensen called Chad Michael Murray for relationship advice – because being in love led to temporary insanity obviously – so it really didn’t surprise him that he couldn’t seem to win when it came to wooing Jared. Still, Pisces must’ve been in a really good place in the night sky or something because suddenly, right smack dab in the middle of the miserable courtship of his co-star, Jensen discovered that maybe loving Jared was all he needed to do to win his heart. And luckily for Jensen, loving Jared was also the one thing he did best.

This fic is a classic in the J2-world.  It’s a non-au and is perfect for someone just getting into this ship.  This is the fic that has inspired many to ship J2 which is part of the reason I’m reccing it now :)  

Now, onto the convention-based fics!

Real Slow by deirdre_c

The stripteasing on stage at conventions is a joke, until Jensen gets drunk and sends a private video to Jared. Then it’s not so funny anymore.

Based on: PhxCon 2015 and SeaCon 2015

I’m With Stupid by dolavine

At the Aussie Con in 2009 Jensen and Jared auction off signed and designed shirts for charity.. Misha signs Jared’s shirt and Jensen gets jealous at the spectacle Misha makes of it.

Based on: AHBL 2009

Private by Ygrawn

Jared’s always had the power to do that to him, to make him forget anybody else exists.

Based on: AHBL 2009

The Eyelash Effect by runedgirl

First, it is not normal for a guy to reach over and tenderly brush an eyelash from the cheek of his best friend. Second, it is not normal not to have realized this a long time ago.

Based on: a story at a convention, but I’m blanking on that specific rn 

Serendipity by privilegedesire 

Serendipity: the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. Jared lives and learns.

Based on: a general convention

A Family Reunion by morganaDW

It’s convention time in Las Vegas and Jared’s getting sick. When he over does it on some meds while Jensen’s at Cabaret it’s not just Jensen that helps take care of him as both Jensen and Jared learn that they never outgrow even the concern of TV parents.

Based on: VegasCon 2015

Well Suited by paperstorm

The Payley Convention made for a long day; it drains Jensen. Jared kind of enjoys the opportunity to take care of him.

Based on: PaleyFest 2011

Reality Check by morganaDW

When a joking question at a Supernatural convention about the height difference between Jared and Gen comes up. A mock kiss on stage takes both Jared and Jensen by surprise and both men make some choices that doesn’t come to a surprise to others in their lives.

Based on: a general convention

Meanwhile, Down in the Green Room by Callisto 

By the time Jensen gets to the Green Room, it’s all over. Jared’s had his shoulder reduced right there on the floor next to yesterday’s crab cakes (so much for only his fucking elbow, Daniella), Osric’s looking shell-shocked, and the big guy is up in his suite on “bed rest” for the remainder of the day. Which, yeah, that’ll work.

Based on: JIBCon 2014

The Day Twitter Blew Up by morganaDW

It should’ve been any normal J2 day an VanCon until Jensen decides to do something that not only shocks those closest to him but also his fans. Then it’s a matter of reassuring Jared that it’s a good idea when he worries about how Twitter and their fans will react in the long run.

Based on: VanCon 2014

The Play Nice Proviso by qblackheart

When Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki, it was most definitely not love at first sight. It wasn’t even like at first sight. In fact, Jensen hated him, and he had a few good reasons as to why. So what if his new co-star was oblivious to his one-sided warfare? Jensen could deal. Apart from when he couldn’t. So when it came down to picking between Padalecki and his peace of mind, the choice seemed clear. Except for the fact that The Network had his balls in a vice, leaving him stuck with Supernatural, stuck with his idiot co-star, and worst of all, stuck with a ‘Play Nice’ Proviso added to his contract. Well, he could play nice. He would play so nice that the world was going to think that he and Jared Padalecki were the bestest friends in the history of best friends. It was unfortunate then that no one had ever told Jensen what happened when an immovable object met an irresistible force; no one had ever thought to mention that there was a thin line between hate and love; and nothing, absolutely nothing, could have possibly prepared him for Playing Nice with Jared Padalecki.

Based on: all of Supernatural (there are convention scenes within it)

Sorry this took so long!  It was a lot harder going through my read fics and finding convention-based ones than I thought it was going to be.  I hope these are good for you though!  If you ever need any other fic recs, my inbox is always open and I know so many others would love to help you out as well.  Welcome to the world of J2!  You won’t regret it <3

Stolen Jared Op Tickets At Minncon

I can’t believe I have to make this post, because it still makes me physically sick that this happened to me.  But I am making it anyways, in any attempt that the person responsible will see this and know that I think they’re the lowest scum of the earth and that I hope that every single time they look at their Jared Ops, they think about what they did.  

Anyways, during the Jensen Ops I had taken my lanyard off (with my Jared Op tickets in the back, like most of us keep them) and put it in my back pocket so it wouldn’t be in the photo.  At some point within the hour afterwards, before Jared autos, I unknowingly lost my lanyard…aka it fell out somewhere along the line.  I didn’t realize it was gone until a group of us were getting up to head for our Jared Ops.  

This was the worst feeling in the world.  My stomach immediately sank and any joy I had felt throughout the day went away.  Lullys and I checked my purse, all of my pockets, retraced our steps and we came up blank and blank again.  When we headed to the Creation tables, I felt like I wanted to puke, because my Jared Ops were in the back and I kept thinking ‘I’m not gonna get my Sam hug’, because that was something I had spent months wanting and planning for.  Couldn’t fucking believe I would have flown all the way from California to Minneapolis to just have the opportunity vanish just like that.  

When we got to the Creation tables, they were busy helping other people, but I could see behind them a copper lanyard on another table.  Lullys, who probably shouldn’t have, raced back there and picked it up and verified that it was mine.  She handed it to me and I was so relieved in that moment, SO SO thankful that someone turned it in…but then I turned it around to find that my Jared Op tickets were taken out of the back of it.  THEY WERE GONE.  

And I wanted to puke, because the people at the Creation tables just kind of looked at me with blank expressions like they couldn’t do anything about it.  Which I mean, if you look at anything in the rules…it says.. if you lose it–you’re SOL basically.  I honestly thought that I was going to have to face the fact that I simply wasn’t going to get my Jared Ops at all.  And it made me so sad.  More than that, angry.  Angry that the people around me, my SPNFamily, had decided to do me so dirty.  

It took some time, but the Creation people pulled through and did me an incredible solid and pulled out Misha Ops and rewrote Jared over them, giving me both of my Ops, when they truly didn’t have to do it.  I am so fucking grateful that they did this.  I’ve said a lot of things about Creation in the past, in regards to their prices and customer service… a lot of things that weren’t very nice.  But this changed my perspective 100%.  I honestly can’t thank them enough for reissuing them to me.  

When I had my Ops back, Lullys and I started to head back upstairs for the Jared Op line.  In the process, I just started to feel myself breakdown into tears because I just couldn’t believe that what had happened–happened.  I felt horrible, felt like I was almost violated in a way by the very people I was supposed to find solace and acceptance within.  That instead of doing the right thing, someone took it upon themselves to be selfish and gross to a fellow family member.  

I don’t know if someone found my lanyard and took the ops and never turned my lanyard in, leaving someone else to just find the lanyard.  Or if someone found my lanyard and decided to take the ops out of the back before turning it in.  I really don’t know what happened, but I just want the person who took them to know–that what they did was disgusting.  That it goes against everything the con stands for, that Supernatural stands for, and that Jared Padalecki stands for.  

If you know someone who magically got two Jared Ops at the last minute, if they had the #’s 27 and 226 on the front of them… I hope you show them this post.  And if the person who stole them is reading this, I hope you know that you nearly ruined my entire con experience and I hope you’re happy with yourself.  

I hope those Jared Ops were worth it.  And I hope you AKF until you learn to do better the next time, till you can LYF more and do the honest thing next time.  

Thanks for being an asshole. 

Originally posted by californiadreamer115

#signal boost this please

So. Misha’s M&G. I just…omg. Having done a couple of his now, I can safely say that if I could pick only one reason to come to a con, this would be it. All of the cast is so wonderful, but Misha is just…so incredibly easy to talk to (well, once you get over his staggering beauty). I’ve been indecisive about going to Minncon this year, but honestly this will probably be the one thing that tips me over the edge and even buy just general admission just to get another chance at one of his M&Gs.

Anyway, here’s a few tidbits:

• He talked about the IVR he had put together and how it ended up ticking people off because a lot of tedious detail had gone into it. He was sitting directly across from me at this point, and suddenly he literally just stared at me for like five seconds because I apparently was giving some sort of blank stare that I just couldn’t bring myself to tear away even though I desperately wanted to, especially when he said, “Do you know what that [IVR] is? You’re looking at me like you don’t know what that is.” And I basically was just a deer in the fucking headlights because it’s like he fucking had me locked down with his eyes, so I eventually stammered out, “I…don’t know…I literally don’t know anything right now.” And that is the story of how Misha Collins’ eyes turned my brain to mush.

• On that note, they are very much a gorgeous light blue in person omg.

• And he was also drenched in cologne. I suspect that given he had mentioned in both the M&G and his panel how he was told to change because of his wrinkled shirt and joked about how the blazer he changed into probably hadn’t been laundered in a while that he might’ve been a little self-conscious lol. But good lord he smelled AMAZING. I could still smell him on my shirt afterwards, and I will probably never wash this shirt again haha.

• There was discussion of how much his M&Gs go for, and he put his hands over his ears because he didn’t want to know. He was rather shocked when he did find out and halfway joked about really feeling the pressure to deliver.

• I asked him who came up with the idea for the YANA skits, and he said Jensen. They filmed them all at once; there aren’t plans to make more. He acknowledged the complaints about stalkerism; they were of the mindset that Jensen’s reactions (e.g., eye rolling) in the videos weren’t really indicative of how a person would normally react to being stalked.

• Someone was doing the zipline over our heads and Misha was basically like “fuck that” haha.

• Misha talked a little bit about doing voice work. He said it’s difficult because he doesn’t just want to sound like he’s reading off the words. He’s been approached for voice work for video games in the past but has yet to do anything in that medium. He also talked about voicing the role of something like a megalomaniac/cult leader and how it came easily for him (dripping with that typical Misha sarcasm we all know and love).

• There wasn’t a whole lot of talk about the show. Misha hinted that he thought we’d be pleased with the direction it’s going, but turns out he was alluding to Rob’s return, which he didn’t realize was public knowledge.

• And for those who happened to follow my breakdown over the discovery of Misha’s glorious pectoral mane the other day: when he was talking about changing clothes, he ended up putting on his favorite t-shirt, which evidently has holes in it…he pointed out the one over the side of his chest and let’s just say that I now have been blessed with a first eye witness account of the existence of Misha’s chest hair. :3