i realize that every time i watch it

I don’t do this usually, but I feel like I should this time…

I had the luck to join the fandom soon before their nomination for BBMAs was announced. And while I knew and somewhat followed BTS since their debut it wasn’t until recently I really got interested in them.

What I want to say is, that as new ARMY, who just left the depths of Internet for a moment after watching probably every avaiable video with the boys, it was amazing to see fans voting so hard and cheering for them the whole and to see BTS” reaction to fans’ support. It made me realize how amazing is BTS and what amazing people ARMYs are.

I hope we’ll get to experience more wonderful moments like these in the future.

Today I shut my cat in the fridge.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Tali loves the fridge.  I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in.  She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can.  Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there.  And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water.  I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else.  And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight.  So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.

1. In my dreams we’re walking along the edge of the universe. My love for you, the sun. Time isn’t real here; there’s only us. Forever.  but then again, my dreams aren’t real either. And forever doesn’t exist.
2. Sunsets still remind me of you, and i’m still convinced you’re the one who makes the sky blush every time. But it’s been raining ever since you left. All i ever wanted was to watch a sunrise through sunset with you. 
3. We’re together in every universe. We’re happy in every reality. I’m so sick and tired of all these parallel universes playing out in my head where we’re together.
4. I wanted to love you so much, the scars they left on your heart would start to fade until i realized scars don’t fade no matter how much you try.
5. Today my friend asked me “how many fucking times do you think of him?” and i said “once” because ever since i met you, you haven’t left my mind. I guess i should’ve known i left yours long ago.
—  Lessons on loving you 
youtube

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmiOaFDN0GE)

The only video you ever need if someone says to you, “Sherlock and John are just friends, there is no reason to believe otherwise”. These are just clips of the show. I honestly don’t blame people who haven’t noticed these things – I didn’t notice them the first time I watched the series and I am gay. It’s because I didn’t expect to see it, so I unknowingly put my blinders up and consumed the media without a second thought. I saw but I did not observe. However, the moment I realized it on my own, I felt the metaphorical glass shatter and I was overcome with shock. How did I, a gay person, miss this? How?? But now that I’ve seen it, feel it with every fiber of my being, I cannot “un-see” it. It’s like looking at the moon every night and then one day noticing it looks like there’s a face in it. You will see the man in the moon every time you look because you can never go back to that moment when you didn’t know it was there. That’s what BBC Sherlock is to a lot of people when it comes to queer readings. You either see it or you don’t. You’re either open to the idea or you’re not. But once you see it, you will never go back. So regardless of what the BBC, the writers, or strangers online say, this queer reading of Sherlock is felt by viewers around the world and that experience will never be taken from them.

Dean stopping to fuel his Impala, and when he is waiting in line to pay, he spots some keychains of stuffed animals. One of them is of a guinea pig, and without thinking it twice, he gets it and pays for it along with the gas.

Once he is back in the bunker, he finds Cas in the kitchen and he gives him the keychain. Cas looks at it, studying the stuffed guinea pig with his usual intensity before he looks at Dean, silently asking a question.

“For the keys of your truck,” Dean answers, trying to sound casual, but nothing is casual when it comes to Cas. “Just so you have something to remember home when you’re away.”

Before Dean turns around to hide his obvious blush, he manages to see Cas’ surprised but pleased face. Dean busies himself with the cupboards, trying to find something to eat, waiting for his flush and embarrassed smile to disappear. He almost startles when he feels Cas’ hand on his shoulder, but immediately melts under the familiar touch, his heart skipping a beat when he sees Cas’ bright and emotional eyes.

“I always remember home when I’m away,” Castiel says. “But thank you for the present, Dean. I really like it.”

Dean nods and smiles, trying to hide how much Cas’ words mean to him. “No problem, buddy.”

He watches how Castiel strokes the guinea pig, smiling at the soft touch. Maybe this little gift will make Cas come back home sooner the next time. Maybe when Cas is gone and he sees the little keychain, he realizes the unsaid words Dean is never able to say every time Cas is away.

I miss you.

Come back home.

Be safe.

I love you, Cas.

anonymous asked:

How can there be su spoilers if it's filler

you guys realize Steven is half human and half Gem, so not every episode is going to be a Gem plot filled thing? That would be exhausting. Like we are on season 4 and it still feels like people are missing the fundamental nature of the show. Also what are your qualifications for what makes filler? Like, Mr Greg wasn’t relevant to the main plotline, but I sure as hell wouldn’t call it filler?

I used to watch SU just for the Gem-centric episodes, but over time learned to appreciate the human-centric eps as well. The inclusion of episodes that center around Beach city citizens is woven into the fabric of the show. The whole point and the thing that makes it different is that it shows ALL of Steven–the Steven who is thrust into this huge intergalactic conflict he doesn’t fully understand, yeah, but also the Steven who is just a kid growing up. That’s the point. That’s why he’s half human. If you want 100% action and major reveals all the time, there’s plenty of shows that are like that that you may enjoy, but Steven Universe might not be for you.

Pro revenge by whistle blowing.

(long story)

One of my first jobs out of college wasn’t really a true job. I interviewed at a proprietary trading firm and was offered a job as one of their traders. Looking back, it was naive to join such a firm and this was right before the ‘08 crash. They sold themselves as being pro traders and all you had to do was put up some capital which got added to the group’s pooled fund. After that, you went through training and once the boss thought you were ready, you would 'go live’ with your trading account. There were no paychecks, but you did get to keep most of your profits. Later on, I learned that the bosses of such groups made money by either taking a cut from your profits or by taking a fee from your traded volume. This group skimmed from both sides taking 15% from your profits and a fee from your trading volume which came out to about $1.5 every 100 shares traded.

For months, I spent time learning from the “Pros,” and then I began to realize along with some of the other newbies, that the only person making money was the boss. The turnover for new traders was high. Some people lasted a month, others a year or two. As I got to know people around the office, I began finding out that very few made any money at all. The boss was a micromanager and watched the risk monitor for his group like a hawk. If you hit -$50 in a day, you were locked out and couldn’t trade anymore throughout the day. Also, you were limited to trading stocks up to $40 per share with a max size of 200 shares. It was very difficult to make a living trading like this.

Keep reading

Fireworks - H.S.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I mumble. The twinkling lights are mesmerizing and I just can’t seem to focus on anyone else, not even the amazing man beside me that brought me here tonight. When Harry only hums a response, I take my gaze off the fireworks ahead of me and stare at his sharp jawline.

Lately Harry had been acting differently. At first I noticed little things, like him closing off and disappearing into his own head for short amounts of time, but after a while he started raising these walls around him, pretending to be someone who is not even though the real Harry I had met two years prior was something I wish everyone had in his life.

Of course, Harry did not only have a name to keep, but also a reputation. Yes, he was pictured as a womanizer and I think he did won best dressed male again last year, although I don’t keep up with that. I keep up with what actual Harry is up too, what ticks him, what he enjoys doing. Most of the things the media bring to attention aren’t very good small details of a bigger picture.

I think that’s why this friendship works so damn well. That might also be the absolute number one reason I fell madly in love with this man. I’d never risk anything to put our friendship in jeopardy, because I honestly believe I’d never find someone like him, ever again. He was the only real thing in a world filled with lies and misinterpretations.

I’m actually terrified I’ll never get to see the real Harry again. And whatever I try, I just can’t seem to get through to him. So when he appeared at my door, giant grin on his rosy lips and a bottle of expensive champagne held up in one hand, I couldn’t decline.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Harry laughs, pulling his bottom lip between his pearly white teeth before his glance is cast in my direction. I can feel the rosy hue appear on my cheeks, but they’re transparent to Harry’s gaze due to the harsh lighting of the fireworks going off in front of us.

“This lighting is doing you good.” I decide to go with a true compliment, although that wasn’t initially on my mind. I love the smile that it draws on his lips, the way his eyes crinkle and how he then casts his glance away. “Do you say that to all men?”

“Only you.” I shrug my shoulders with a grin and let a shriek flow from my lips when I feel Harry’s elbow collide with my ribs. “Hey, I gave you a really nice compliment and this is how you repay me?”
“What do you want to hear? How beautiful you look? You always do, Y/n.” Harry huffs as he rolls his eyes and fixates his gaze back onto the sparkly lights disappearing as quickly as they appear.

“You’re one of the most kind-hearted people I know Harry, you deserve all of this success you’re receiving, you know that right?” I decide to bring up the new single, the one that’s supposed to come out in just a few hours – at midnight to be exact. He hadn’t mentioned it since I had heard it when he had initially finished it. It was his baby, his first solo record and he didn’t seem to utter another word about it. It had been months and it saddened me because it was so damn good.

“How is that new man of yours?” Harry’s voice changes tone, and when I decide to peek I see the frown that has set onto his eyebrow. I guess we’re still not talking about it, and I decide to drop it. Last time I had tried to initiate conversation we ended up not speaking to each other for almost two weeks. Which were the worst two weeks of my life, really. “That’s over and done with, didn’t I mention that?”

“Well no, you didn’t.” Harry sighs and I see the small smile tug at his lips. I scoot a little bit closer to Harry, although I’m not sure why. “Well, sorry then.”
“Why did you break up? I thought you liked him.” Harry throws his arm around my shoulder and I lay my head on his shoulder, taking in a deep breath as I focus back on the popping flashing of light.

“I never really did, I think.” I mumble, dropping my hand onto Harry’s knee and giving it a firm squeeze. “I’m searching for something else.” I finish off, feeling my heart throb in my throat. Indirectly, in my own head, I had confessed my love for Harry. He would never see it as such, but that didn’t take away any of the anxiety coursing through my body.

“Well it’s great that you know what you want.”

“Don’t you know what you want?”

“Yeah, but I’m sure she hasn’t even given it a thought. I think I’m nothing more to her than just a really good friend.”

“Who says that? Harry if you want this girl, go and get her. Do you even realize how amazing you are? You always put me up when I’m down. You watch the most horrifying movies with me whenever I want to, without any complaint. You once showed up at my door just because I sounded blue to you on the phone. I’m sure whatever girl you want is just as madly in love with you as you are with her.” I grin, squeezing his knee for emphasis as I let my eyes dart along the sky, trying to follow every firework going off.

“Do you know what sign of the times is about?” Harry suddenly questions and I feel myself stiffen in his embrace as he for the first time in weeks talks about his song or upcoming album.
“Well I interpreted it as hope.” I decide to voice my own thoughts and feelings as simply as possible.

“That’s the great part of it. I think – in whatever time of your life you are, it might – I don’t know – can be interpreted in whatever way it suits you.” Harry starts to stumble over his words as if he were nervous, his ring clad fingers toying with his jeans as he avoids my gaze as well as the sounds going on around us.

“So you’re saying I’m hoping for something?” I smile, somewhat feeling my own nerves bubbling in my stomach as I pull away from Harry, smiling brightly at his twinkling eyes.

“Yeah, you could say it like that. But I think we all hope something, right?” Harry grins right back at me and I slowly let my eyes close, nodding once, but firmly at his statement – or question.

“Hm.” I agree verbally, wanting to lay my head again against his shoulder but he stops me, his eyes searching mine tentatively as I keep frozen in my spot. I let a low breath slip past my opened lips, my tongue darting out to wet them before I suck my bottom lip into my mouth, slowly biting down on it.

Something seems to click in Harry’s mind and before I can completely comprehend what is happening or is about to happen, Harry leans in but hovers right before his lips are about to meet mine. He lets me decide if I want this – if I want to kiss him and as soon as my brain has caught up to current events, I lean the short distance and press my lips firmly against his.

Harry’s large hand cups my cheek and for a second I feel like I might burst out into tears of happiness, but instead I settle for a large grin which almost breaks up our kiss. I feel the vibrations of Harry’s chuckle against my lips as my eyelids flutter.

Harry pulls away, keeping his hand in place, as he seems to catch his breath. His lips press to mine once more in a gentle, simple peck right as the last few fireworks make their last pop in front of us, illuminating the dark night sky.

I wish you’d been more like fire when we first met

so that one touch and I knew you’d do me no good

But no, you were not like fire at all

You were the water gently trickling on my bare skin – cool, refreshing and hypnotizing

and just like water you were always there, everywhere

You were the ocean who breaks my fall every time I jumped off rocky cliffs

You were the waves that gently guide me back to the safety of the shores

You were the long, steamy, warm shower on a stressful day just before I go to sleep

But just like water, I didn’t realize you were drowning me until I couldn’t breathe

Suddenly, everything about you seemed muddy, dark and deep and scary

But I was able to swim away though- swim and thrust and kick and paddle

until everything in me aches and I was exhausted and breathless

And you let me go, watched me run off the same sandy shores we used to spend all summer on, and went back to how you always were – cool, refreshing and hypnotizing

But just so you know

I am writing this in the confines of my room, where no water could be seen

And I hope you’re aware, as painfully as I am, that I am and will always be 70% water

and no amount of drowning could change that

—  aleyyy-a 
CROSSOVER AU

okay so @all-you-see-is-nightmare-eyes and i have been talking about an au where connor, evan, jeremy and michael met and it got shippy. very detailed /cries/ headcannons below.

- The main reason the four of them met was because they found each other at the orchard. Evan and Connor were on a date, they had a picnic ready and everything, and Michael wanted to explore the place so Jeremy was forced to come with him.

- Michael had tripped on one of the paths and fell off of it, down the slight slope they were on, right in front of Connor and Evan. Evan nearly had a heart attack when it happened, and when Jeremy came running down, he nearly had one all over again. Connor was just confused.

- Well, after Jeremy made sure Michael was okay, the four of them talked a little. And, with the awkward introductions thrown aside, they immediately hit it off. Evan and Connor thought the two of them were cool and full of funny stories, and Jeremy and Michael thought that they were pretty chill and nice.

- Somehow, an hour had passed and the boyf riends had somehow edged their way into the tree bros date - and they didn’t mind at all.

- Eventually, Connor and Evan decided that they had to go and gathered their things with the help of Jeremy and Michael. Jeremy kept apologising for barging in on their date, so much so that Evan of all people had to calm him down.

- They walked to their seperate cars, but before any of them could get in and drive away, Connor ran over and asked for their numbers. The boyf riends gave him their numbers, and he texted both of them Evan’s number. After that, they all left.

- And just like that, a group chat was made and they were all texting day and night.

- Turns out Michael and Jeremy lived the next town over - an hour away from Evan and Connor.

- Evan and Connor visited one time during the weekend, expecting to hang out for a couple of hours and then head back home - they ended up staying the entire weekend.

- Eventually, the tree bros came over to visit every weekend, sometimes during the weekdays for the hell of it.

- They all torture Jeremy’s dad for fun tbh.

- “wow you actually wear pants - i really wanted to see the ducky underwear you own”

- “thanks mr. ducky - i mean mr. heere.”

- Eventually Michael and Jeremy visit Evan and Connor for the first time, and they all end up going to Evan’s house because Connor’s house is a “no-go”, as he says.

- EVERYONE LOVES HEIDI. IT’S A FACT SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

- None of them have spoken about the Squips or the suicide attempts. They feel like they should just hide it and act like normal kids.

- One day Evan is just kind of watching the boyf riends play video games as Connor draws. He notices how Jeremy sticks the tip of his tongue out when he’s concentrated, how Michael’s eyes sparkle every time he beats a level, how they loudly shriek in sync when something bad happens and he. just. realizes how much he loves them.

- Evan gets all awkward and blushy around the three of them and every time they try to touch him or ask what’s wrong he just says he’s fine and pulls away.

- “did we do something wrong?” “I - I - I’M F - FINE”

- Since they’re have their regular “sleepover all weekend” things, Jeremy decides that they should camp outside because Evan likes nature, right? The rest of them agree.

- When they all go outside, they find a fireplace and decide to gather sticks and stuff for firewood.

- Michael and Connor totally fight each other with the sticks. it’s a fact.

- Eventually they all calm down and Jeremy gets a fire lit, and they’re just talking about things. Heavy things, the things they usually try not to talk about.

- Somehow, none of them slip up about the suicide attempts or the Squips, but when Evan speaks up he talks about how he feels like he’s a burden and that he’ll never be good enough for anything.

- The boys immediately jump to action, saying that they all like Evan so much, so god damn much and that they would probably die for him.

- Evan is so overwhelmed by the response - here are these beautiful men, all looking at him, worry and affection displayed on their dimly lit faces and. Evan just. explodes.

- “I think I’m in love with all of you?” And they boys are shocked, but Evan continues. “I don’t know how - I didn’t even think it was humanly possible but here we are?? And like it’s scary because I can’t even handle having a crush on one person, so why three? Why now? Why -”

- And Michael just cuts him off and says “I love you too.”

- And Jeremy and Connor just share a look and sigh in relief and they’re both like “yeah we kind of talked to eachother about our feelings already we were just waiting for you two..”

- So now there’s four blushing boys sitting in a backyard at 2 am, having spilled their feelings out for each other, unaware of what to do next.

- And then Michael asks Evan if he can kiss him and Evan is like “!!!!!!!!” and nods, and they share a small kiss.

- Jeremy speaks up, his face flushed as he talks. “Are we all.. dating now?”

- Connor and Evan share a look and smile.

- “Yeah, we are.”

THAT’S IT FOR NOW BYE

Just so you know. I notice everything. Every single little detail. How you used to act, how you act now. How you used to wait for me, how you don’t now. How you used to talk to me all the time, how you just do it when you need something now. I’m not foolish, I’m not blind. I know you’re not a real friend, I know that. I just watch and stay silent. The day will come when you realize that.
—  LM. I want you to know.
Writing a Sunset: A Shitty How-to Manual for Writing Angst

Someone recently asked me the best way to write angst. Honestly, there is no best way. But I’ll do my darndest to explain what’s worked for me so far.

The best way to write angst is to write loss.

Now, I’ve seen this done so many ways before. I’ve seen death, I’ve seen destruction, I’ve seen cities burn and knives find their mark. With writers there’s an endless way to build and then knock down. Like lego bricks, you just have to find the best place to plant your foot for the entire structure to tumble down onto the carpet.

But my favorite kind of angst is actually something smaller. 

My favorite is what I call “Writing a Sunset”.

A character is created. Someone that we all know and love. They’re build from the bone to the skin to every lash and every smile line. We watch them learn and grow and sink and fall and tower and realize and live. And I, as the author, make sure to give you every detail of her life until you can look at the page and want to reach in and steal their hand in yours.

I also make sure that this character loves sunsets.

It’s the most important time of day for them. That time when the earth is still and silent. That time when the warmth begins its slow travel past a seemingly infinite horizon. Thick in it’s colors, it sinks below and drowns, and in its panic it sends out flares of reds and oranges and pinks that shoot across the sky, burning holes into the atmosphere and letting the stars breathe. 

And in that moment, when Orion is lounging against smothering blue and the tips of a nebula soak in the receding magma, this character owns their own world. All they have is the sky and all the sky has is itself and everything is perfect.

And it’s then that I make them blind. 

There is something to say about taking away what a character cherishes most. Because in the end our families and our smallest loves are what keep us together. We crave things, it’s true. And material possessions help to find their places in our lives. Losing a grandmothers necklace could be sad and misplacing a treasure map leading to adventure could be devastating.

But I always found it best to not take away what someone loves. But to take away access to it. To know that every day there’s a sunset waiting for them same as always but no longer can they seek it out. 

Don’t take away what someone loves.

Take away their hope of seeing it again.

If they’re a couple who want a child, take away that ability.

If he’s a dragon who needs to defend his keep, take away his fire.

If she’s a fairy who needs to fly, take away her wings.

But what I also find is that angst is not complete without hope. It’s pandoras box, really. And after sunsets, though it might seem dark, the dawn will eventually come.

And that’s where my favorite part comes in.

Taking away an ability doesn’t stop someone. It merely gives them a reason to try something else. And though it might seem bleak and hopeless, there’s always a chance. And that chance is sometimes the saddest and most joyful part of all.

When our character learns that by stretching their hands out and spreading their fingers like starfish to an aching sun, they can feel its first rays gliding though yearning fingers. Feel tears against their face and a smile stretching lines into permanence. Know that the darkness will always be there, but oh how the sunlight touches their skin… 

If they can’t have children, have them adopt.

If the dragon can’t breathe fire, have it befriend the blacksmith.

And if she can no longer fly, then run until the wind burns her face and scars her feet and she feels free again.

Writing a Sunset is my favorite kind of angst because it’s the one we can relate to most. The fear of losing what we don’t realize we love and the need to reach out and tell them it’ll be okay. Writing a Sunset means having the will to accept a fate you had no choice in, and finding a new way to see once more. 

Writing a Sunset reminds us all that sadness is real. But so is courage. And you can’t have one without the other.

Tom gushing about you in an interview

“I don’t know what the future holds for [Y/N] and I but there’s no doubt in my mind, right now, that I’ll end up marrying her. I can feel it just about every time I look at her. It’s an incredible feeling to look at someone and feel the things I feel. And I know we’re still young and that a lot of things can happen from now and till then but these feelings are strong. I honestly can’t believe it some days. I’ll just look at [Y/N] and think to myself, ‘yeah, this is the life I want to live, with [Y/N] by my side every step of the way’. I want to believe that, this is not something a twenty year old thinks about but I really, truly do. I can’t really imagine her not being in my life, you know? It’s just not a possibility. I won’t stand for it. There’s no one in this world that will ever compare to her nor do I want to find out. I’m so fortunate to call her my girlfriend because I watched her for years be with someone who didn’t deserve her and now I can make up for the time she didn’t realize how incredibly special she is. [Y/N] also gets along with absolutely everyone in my life which is extremely important to me. I swear they even like her more than me some days. But, yeah, I can definitely see myself with her for the rest of my life. Ten or so years from now, living the married life with baby Tom’s running around. It’s the perfect end goal.” 

Big Weekend || Dan Howell

A/N: this imagine was requested by @let-it-go-and-live-again! I really like the idea. yeeah body positivity!! btw I added an about me page to my bio in case you want to check it out!

Word Count: 1.6K

POV: Reader

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by constantlymyself

The sky was cloudy but the air wasn’t too cold. Thousands of people were just hoping that it wouldn’t start raining. I was one of them. I stood there and hoped while my body was made of 60% pure adrenaline by now.

“I can’t wait for them to start!” I had to yell because the crowd of talking people was just so loud.

I smiled at Dan whole heartedly. The huge grin on my face was so big that my cheeks hurt.

“You are cute when you are that excited.” Dan laughed and took my hand in his.

His dimples were showing and just the sight of him made me feel like my heart was going to burst. Although Dan and Phil had stopped doing their radio shows they were still asked to do some interviews at Radio 1’s Big Weekend, an annual music festival.

Dan surprised me by inviting me to come with him. I obviously had to say yes, especially since my favourite band was performing. They were going to enter the stage soon and thousands of excited fans including me and Dan were impatiently waiting for them.

Although Dan was allowed to watch from back stage we decided to mix into the crowd because there was so much audience participation during the band’s concerts.

For a second the crowd grew all silent, then the first fans started screaming. Welcomed by loud cheers and squeals my favourite band ran onto stage. They immediately started with their first song. The air was filled with bursting energy and excitement. I hadn’t felt so alive in a long time.

I started singing my heart out to the songs I had listened to a million times before, but they sounded and felt so different live. When the whole crowd started chanting the chorus of my all time favourite song I jumped up and down, not being able to stop myself from moving and dancing.

“You are damn beautiful, Y/N!” I heard Dan shout into my ear.

I only now realized that he was watching me the whole time and blushed a little bit.

As one of the band’s slow songs sounded from the speakers Dan wrapped his arms around me from behind and we swayed to the music. His broad chest was pressed against my back and he rested his chin on top of my head, kissing my hair now and then.

After the ballade ended I got on my tip toes again in order to be able to watch my favourite band member’s every move.

“Do you know how lucky you are, Dan?” I asked him laughing, pointing out the height difference between us.

Dan was by far one of the tallest people in the crowd and I looked tiny next to him.

“You could sit on my shoulders.” Dan suggested with a wink.

“Dan, everyone behind us would hate us.” I laughed but had to admit that I kinda liked the idea.

“Enter the world of us giants. Just one song.” He pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

I had to admit it sounded tempting. Very tempting actually.

“Okay, but if people start shouting at us it’s all your fault!” I gave in and Dan didn’t really have much convincing to do.

He bent down so I could sit on his shoulders. After I had gotten on top of him I was able to overlook the whole crowd. His head was in between my thighs and I couldn’t stop myself from running my fingers through his soft chocolate brown hair. I crossed my legs behind Dan’s back and he held my thighs for extra stabilization.

Dan and I were enjoying ourselves and I was so happy to have an amazing boyfriend like him.

Just as the song ended and Dan was about to set me down, we were stopped by the band’s drummer and my favourite member.

“Listen everybody! Do you see this pretty girl who got on top of somebody’s shoulders? I want you all to do the same!” he shouted into his microphone and pointed right at me. The crowd started cheering and moving around.

Everybody who was here with somebody followed his instructions. I, on the other hand, had an immensely hard time processing the fact that my favourite band member had just called me pretty!

The heat rushed to my face and my hands started shaking. I felt like my 16-year-old fangirling self again.  

“O my god he called me pretty!” I squealed once my feet touched the ground again.

“Because you are!” Dan said with twinkling eyes and made me smile even wider.

I pecked his lips quickly before I faced the stage again. Just as my eyes landed on the drummer again he took off his shirt, revealing his toned chest and perfectly defined abs. The whole female part of the crowd completely lost it. Never before had I heard such high-pitched screams.

A few teenage girls actually looked like they were about to faint. I had to stare at him in awe. I squealed along while he smashed his drums, sweat dripping down his forehead.  

“Damn I forgot how hot he is.” I breathed in disbelief and was too busy to notice the look on Dan’s face as those words left my mouth.

I was still jumping up and down like a bouncy ball after the concert had ended. Dan was guiding me backstage with him because I was too busy talking about the concert to concentrate on where I was going.  

“I can’t believe that just happened. Best concert ever!” I babbled ecstatically.

“Mhm” Dan mumbled quietly and I was again too excited to notice his resentment.

Back in the hotel we were staying in for the weekend I had calmed down a bit again. After changing out of my sweaty shirt and drinking what seemed like 4 bottles of water I was back to normal.

Since Dan and I were extremely exhausted we decided to go straight to bed. It was only Saturday so we still had the whole of Sunday ahead of us. When I was done with brushing my teeth and exited the bathroom I noticed that Dan was in bed already. I got under his duvet as well and was immediately greeted by his comforting body warmth.

I snuggled up next to him and rested my head on his chest.

“Thank you for taking me with you. I really enjoyed today.” I whispered softly and pecked his pink lips.

With a grin, I decided to deepen the kiss and quickly straddled my surprised boyfriend.

“I thought you said you were tired.” Dan asked raising a brow, teasingly.

“I am never too tired for this.” I breathed seductively.

As soon as those words had come over my lips Dan immediately flipped us over so he was on top. I ran my hands up and down his chest, taking his t-shirt off soon after. He connected our lips again, we didn’t start out slow, it was heated since minute one. The tiredness from before was gone as Dan moved his hips against mine. I couldn’t hold in a silent moan.

“Am I hurting you?” Dan asked suddenly sounding insecure.

I broke the kiss to look at him in confusion. Did he misinterpret my moan?

“Why would you be hurting me? We haven’t even.. you know.“ I asked him confused, looking up at him.

“I thought I crushed you under my weight..” Dan’s words were barely a whisper. He swallowed hard as has face turned the colour of a tomato.

My eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

“Daaann-“ I trailed, waiting for him to tell me he was joking, but he didn’t.

“What are you talking about, Dan?” I wanted to know, scared of his answer.

He got off me and let himself fall down on the bed next to me. I lifted myself up on my elbow to be able to look into his dark brown eyes.

“I- I’m just really heavy. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He explained and I could tell that he was uncomfortable.

“You are way over 6 feet, Dan. How are you supposed to not be heavy?” I argued.

“Yeah sure.” He mumbled unmotivated. My face fell, finally getting what he was implying.

“That’s not what you meant, right?” I breathed totally aghast.

“No.” He whispered and slowly shook his head.

“Why do you suddenly feel like that? You are so beautiful, baby.” I gently traced his biceps, taking in his beauty.

He seemed to quietly ponder for a while before he decided to voice his thoughts.

“I just, I don’t have abs or a toned chest and I’m not that fit and-“ he made himself stop in the middle of his sentence.

He grew all silent. His words brought tears to my eyes. Why didn’t he see how perfect he was?

“You are not saying this because I called that stupid drummer hot today, right?” I tried, but the look on his face at the mention of what I had said earlier totally gave him away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would make you feel that way. Listen I don’t care if he is hot or not. He will never be you and I love every tiny bit of your body and your soul.” I whispered softly, meaning every word I said.  

I cupped Dan’s face with my hands and deeply looked into his eyes. “You are perfect the way you are and I love you more than anything.” I slowly said so he could take in every single word.

Dan blushed and I noticed that a small smile had found its way back onto his face.

“It’s not just about having a fit body, you know that. Now c’mon let me show you how beautiful you are.” I breathed and started leaving kisses all over his chest and neck, straddling him again.

flashbacks

trigger warning

my mother has a photograph
she likes to show me when she’s upset
she says
you used to be such a nice boy
i just
don’t know what happened to you
now i admit
i barely recognize the child
three years old on halloween
smiling without someone
having to remind me to do it
but the picture has a habit
of giving me flashbacks

snap

suddenly i am 7 again
and a pair of broken glasses
at the bus stop in your culdesac
it’s one of my oldest lessons
cause mama knows best
she’s teaching me
to turn the other cheek
kill em with kindness son

snap

i’m thirteen and we
are in your bedroom
you are telling me that i should
think about it this
as though we were scientists
It’s cool
it’s cool we’re just experimenting
everyone your age experiments
how will you ever know if you don’t?


snap

i’m twenty eight
and someone on the internet
is telling me that the word rape
could never belong to me
she says
“Don’t you know how triggering it is for women?”
and the only thing i can think about
is if my story deserves to breathe
if it doesn’t sound like hers
if my trauma has to wear a dress
before you believe it

snap

every single day i am seventeen
and on your doorstep again
sorry that it took me so long
to grow into these fists
that the hate grew like a pearl inside me
around a single impurity
until i could no longer bear it
the largest kitchen knife our house
in my hands
the look on my face
as i realize the home you lived
in is now
empty
how i buried it in the front yard
with my bare hands
and sometimes
i think about visiting the spot
with a wreath
or white cross
the way people do along highways
where people have died
she still asks me
what happened to her sweet boy
but never where the kitchen knife went
now i choke
when i hear things like
“you look like you turned out
just fine to me”
every time someone tells me
to man up
i watch my childhood
drive away in the white van of his bedroom
when the only person
i was brave enough to tell said
“why didn’t you just try to avoid it?”
i said nothing
it felt like someone died
and i helped hide the body
i wish i had said
maybe oklahoma city
should have tried
to avoid timothy mcveigh
wish i would have said
the twin towers should’ve tried
to avoid new york in september
cause i’m tired of feeling like
im the skeleton in someone else’s closet
tired of feeling like there’s a ghost in my house when i’m home
wondering if any of the bridges i’ve stood on
will out last the memory
of what you did to me
wondering if there is a word
for drowning
without dying at the end

autism things

-I can use sarcasm all I want but if YOU do I’m gonna react as if you started speaking another language

-Realizing that crying all the time does not mean you are empathic or good with emotions

-singing the same song over and over again because echolalia

-also saying words you know you aren’t supposed to because they feel nice in your mouth

-stimming by screaming and getting “wtf” looks from everyone around you

-watching the same show every day and sometimes the same episodes over and over in the same day

-having a meltdown because you can’t do The Thing the way you originally planned

-having random bruises appear all over your body bc you’re clumsy and never feel when you initially get hurt

-wanting to do something but panicing because WHERE DO I START

-interupting people accidentally because you’re bad with conversations

feel free to add more

When They Wake Up Next To You

{g osh my body B U R N S for this request thank you and everything you’ve done ever}

This was a request from @alteaplier I had lost the original ask for it but it has finally been finished!! Hope you enjoy it may be a bit cheesy and sappy but I L I V E for that ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Shiro]

•you and him totally fell asleep holding one another, but your back is against his (godly) chest

•when he wakes up and rubs his crusty eyelids and can actually see you clearly, he’s already setting up a thanksgiving dinner just for an excuse to thank whoever is up there something extra

•it’s only now does he realize he’s awake really early, probably around 2 or 3AM

•it’s only when he feels how sticky he is with sweat and how he’s breathing quite heavily does he realize he woke up from a nightmare that he’s glad he forgot

•and that’s also when he realizes that you’re face and just the fact you are alive and well and breathing was the reason he forgot so quickly

is very hesitant to reach for your face because he feels that it may be a dream that you’re there, and when he touches you…

•you’ll disappear

•once he touches your cheek and nothing happens, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and just laughs

•(oh go sh k i l l me) he leans in and kisses the top of your forehead and then light pulls you closer to him

•kinda feels like crying because you’re so pure and full of love and thinks you don’t deserve him because he feels he isn’t “to your standards” and is imperfect

•but then he swipes that from his mind because if he had said that out loud and you were awake to hear it you would probably smack the back of his head or start crying (+ a long lecture about why he’s perfect the way he is, even if he bites into ice cream) there’s no in between

•falls asleep easily and dreams of something a lot better than usual

[Lance]

•definitely woke up because you turned toward him

•opens his eyes and just smiles but not like a H U G E grin, just, a smile showing he is content and pleased and, happy. yeah, happy.

•the both of you are in his room in the castle, he’s facing toward the wall with his back to the window.

•the way the light pours in, and rests ever so gently upon your face absolutely blows him away

•you know those times when you just think, and realize wow, I’m actually seeing this with my own two eyes, I am living and breathing and my internal body can do wonders beyond the minds of others. That’s what’s happening.

•he’s seeing you, and truly you, in front of him, where your only worries are your dreams and whether they are good or bad

•just the way the light is on you, and his shoulder casts a shadow on it as well, makes him feel so breathtaken (that’s a word right?) and he has no idea why

•rubs his thumb against your cheek and just shuts his eyes slowly and takes it in. Your feel, your smell, everything.

•kisses your forehead, nose, cheeks, eyelids, eyebrows, that one very obvious freckle on your face that you clearly despise because of how obvious it is but he just loves it

•I’m getting sappy and I want to cry pls end me

•bruv you open your eyes at the right time and he just sees how beautiful your eyes are with the light on them like that and he just rolls onto his back

•goes “ok woah who gave you permission! Certainly not me!”

•God could he get used to this though.

[Keith]

•I feel like he wouldn’t have known you were sleeping with him in the first place

•he probably had some nightmare and you happened to be awake to hear it happening and your mom instincts came on and you went in his room right away

•his head was under your chin, so when he woke up he was really confused and gently pulled back

•sees you and is just so confused for several minutes

•like, “what? when did u get here? why?”

•100% believes he doesn’t deserve you

•although he believes that, he still cherishes you and doesn’t try to bring you down by telling you how he feels about your relationship with him

•I feel he’s the one to wake you up, whether it’s an accident or on purpose.

•maybe he pushes you lightly and whispers your name a few times and it’s all just so he could thank you politely and properly

•or he noticed how your hair was stuck under your eyelashes and your mouth and he has super short nails so he accidentally pinches you grabbing them

•totally laughs if that’s the case like I’ll fight you on this

•you: “keith ow wtf”

•keith: pffffffffttttttttfffffff

[Hunk]

•omg please my pure chil d I love him sm

•OKAY ALL THE OTHER ONES SO FAR ALL LIKE KISSES ON THE FACE BUT IMMA TELL YOU NOW THAT HUNK DOESNT DO JUST THAT

•holds your hands

•rubs his hands up the sides of your arms and on your waist

•just, gosh my breathing is slowing down and now its speeding up and I can see every math equation

•already knows he’s gonna make you some B O M B A S S b-fast and even if you don’t like it he’ll make it better!

•besides that, he almost cried and he’s just like “ohmygodjdbbd hhhhhhhhhffffff I love you”

•let’s say he has a camera on him, 99.9999999% chance he’ll take a photo of you no matter the flash

•you’ll probably wake up and be like ok tf

•he just looks at you, gently pulls you to him with his hand on the back of your head and kisses your forehead, then rests his own against it

••you’re probably blown away because he’s so wholesome and sweet especially so early in the morning where souls are still asleep

•tells you to go back to sleep

•if u do he’ll play with your hair and if you don’t he’ll play with your hair

•coran walks in at one point and hunk just fukcing stares him in the eyes and coran puts his hands up and backs out “ok ok ok ok ok o-”

[Pidge]

•as soon as I saw this request I had Pidge’s planned out RIGHT away

•ok so basically, pidge is designing a new robot that can help create fabrics and new clothes for everyone in the castle, for when they don’t have the time to borrow some from Coran or Allura or go to a Space Mall

•you watch as her brain works through everything and her fingers are moving so quickly as she pieced together each and every intricate part of the robot

•you end up falling asleep on her shoulder and she doesn’t realize until she herself starts drifting off so you both fall asleep against the side of her bed

•allura happens to be checking on you and asks Shiro to help the both of you into the bed

•when Pidge wakes up not only is she confused, she’s also worried

•you two had stayed up so late, that there’s no doubt it’s really late into the afternoon, but when she realizes it’s not, and she must’ve woke up randomly, she sighs in relief

•she kisses your forehead and just continues to look at you

•touch your face again? Never. she didn’t want to risk waking you, or stirring you to the point that you roll over

•everything was perfect, almost all stress was gone from her

•her last thought before falling asleep is “I hope we find Matt soon, alive and well, so he can meet the person that makes me truly feel and truly love.”

•most likely whispers I love you or holds your hand before falling into a lovely slumber

Breaking the Fourth Wall

I was writing a post about commentators and realized… there’s a little aspect that I always overlooked because it felt so natural all-along. I was having trouble trying to explain it without veering off-topic, so I’m devoting a separate post on this directing aspect:

YOI breaks the fourth wall.
Repeatedly. During every program.
I’m not talking about when Yuuri, Yurio, and Victor narrate episodes, I’m talking about camera angles.
It’s done in such a subtle way that some of us either don’t notice, or we write it off as something else.

The question is:
Commentators aren’t heard in the venue, so why are we hearing Morooka?
Simply because we’re not truly in the venue, but are instead viewers at home watching TV Asahi’s broadcast. For those brief moments that a skater is on the ice, we become the in-series spectators streaming the broadcast at home.

In regards to possibilities for directing, Director Yamamoto chooses to do three things:

  1. she lets us see into a skater’s heads (their thoughts and flashbacks),
  2. she places us alongside the characters during private moments (moments not caught on camera/microphone), and 
  3. she turns us into TV Asahi’s viewers at home.

Looking at point 3, the other option - having us become spectators in the venue - wouldn’t allow Yamamoto to include commentary on the programs (commentators aren’t heard in the venue). Which would be a shame because half the fun of watching figure skating is hearing what different commentators have to say about a performance.
And more importantly: without commentary we would have no idea what’s going on – unless you are well-educated in figure skating.

A character could provide the commentary on their programs ( “3A-2T” “I stepped out of that jump” “4S” “difficult entrance into a camel spin”) but doing that for their entire program would come off dry and a little too coherent for a skater doing an emotional performance.

In fact, we saw this technique used with Seung-gil in episode 8 (Rostelecom SP). Narrating all the jumps and points in his head characterizes him as a very technical skater who could be called stoic or robotic. The moments surrounding his FS prove to us he can be emotional too. Having this kind of in-their-head commentary wouldn’t work for the more emotional skaters like Yuuri or Phichit - the calculating and stable train of thought would be at odds with how they skate and what they focus on (reaching out to people/pleasing the audience).

“Leave the technical commentary to the commentators” is probably what Yamamoto and Kubo decided on.

Going back to Yamamoto’s decision to use these 3 Point Of Views:

Using all three methods makes the experience so much richer than if she had left one out. For example, that last scene with Yuuri and Victor right before Yuuri skates his FS (ep12).
We’re placed right by their side to witness what’s going on between them. This is POV#2 “intimate” (their conversation not caught on tape) because moments later we hear Morooka comment in confusion (switching to POV#3). In including Morooka’s commentary, we’re being told by Director Yamamoto that this moment was private and no one else quite understands what just happened. Yuuri asked to go into his final FS laughing, and when Victor and Yuuri are shaking in each other’s arms, Morooka interprets it as crying. He - and all the other viewers at home (which would be us too if not for Yamamoto allowing us to view this) - are not privy to this interaction.

I use the word “allow” because that is exactly what Yamamoto is doing. We see in episode 7 a case where we are not given this privilege: The kiss scene.

In the immediately preceding moment we were allowed POV#1 “in the skater’s head” with Yuuri’s sightline tilting from Victor at the rink exit abruptly toward the ceiling. We are very briefly given POV#2 “intimate” with the close-up of each other’s faces, but then we are pushed away. In that moment where their lips connect, we were not allowed the “skater’s head” or the “off-camera.” We quite suddenly become mere spectators POV#3.

I know Director Yamamoto and Kubo-sensei have said it over-and-over that the kiss was a private moment not for the viewers to see, but we are literally spectators. The camera angle we see is what the in-universe world sees. It’s like Director Yamamoto and Kubo-sensei pushed us out of that POV and set us back into place as a simple TV Asahi viewer.

I don’t know why this feels like such a huge revelation, and it’s probably not all that important to 99% of everyone, but… I thought these angles were just a director’s choice to make scenes more dynamic. I hadn’t realized that it was a director’s choice for Point Of View and that the camera angle itself suggests what point of view we’re currently in (POV#1, #2, #3).
Every time Morooka talks to the viewers at home, he’s talking to us; every time Morooka talks to us, we become even more removed from the situation and are literal voyeurs into their life.

Where I’m going with all of this, is that there are moments where we’re watching a sport and not an anime. There are moments where we’re not watching a life story – unlike what the act of storytelling strives to do.
There are moments where we go from “anime watcher” to “figure skating watcher,” and I find that subtle transition fascinating.

anonymous asked:

can you write something about kara/supergirl finding out about lena's favourite little things?

i combined two other prompts with this because i’m terrible and haven’t worked on prompts in months. anyway. sorry if it sucks

It’s during their second interview that Kara learns Lena has a terrible snacking habit.

Her massive desk has a well hidden drawer—one that Kara missed the first time she x-ray visioned the office, much to her chagrin—filled to the brim with energy bars, trail mixes, crackers, and expensive chocolates Kara’s never even heard of, maintained and supplied by the very perceptive Jess who is well aware of her boss’s unfortunate tendency to forget several meals in a row and insists on at least ensuring that the CEO subsists on snacks at the very minimum.

Kara spends the hour Jess has painstakingly fit into Lena’s schedule smiling as she watches Lena pull out a bag of trail mix, snacking through every question, chewing thoughtfully as she ponders how to respond to the inquiries into her family.

“Oh no,” she murmurs, after asking Kara to try the dried cranberries, informing her that they’re her favorite and that she wants Kara to try them too, “I don’t think my mother was working with Lex before. I think his going mad was what broke her. She was never quite shy about being obvious for her preference for Lex.” Lena stops, digs through the mix for a moment, searching for any chocolate—something Kara’s noticed is the first to go—and shakes her head. “Can we leave that off the record, Kara? I just…let’s talk about something else.”

And Kara nods, promises to leave out any mention of Lex and Lillian (focusing only on Lionel), and accepts the cranberries, trying hard not to blush at the smile Lena sends her way when she agrees it’s likely her favorite part of the trail mix as well.  

(From that day forward, Kara always checks the secret drawer, letting Jess know on the sly if Lena’s stores were running low—much to the assistant’s pleasant surprise.)

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