i read this this morning and it was funny then

It was an accident I swear!
  • Me: *accidentally starts watching supernatural*
  • Me: *accidentally watches 4 seasons in 4 days*
  • Me: *accidentally thinks the dorky Angel and the pie lover are cute together*
  • Me: *accidentally starts shipping my first ship*
  • Me: *accidentally comes across fluff for new found ship*
  • *weeks go by*:
  • Me: *accidentally stays up until 6 in the morning reading smut*
  • Me: *accidentally dedicates 18484939 fan accounts to Destiel*
  • Me: *accidentally falls off bed in the middle of the night over intense feels*
  • Me: *accidentally makes theorise about how it's canon during math class*
  • Me: *reflects of how deep I am in the Destiel trash pit*
  • Me: nO rAgErTs

Okay so this idea popped into my head you guys and I had to.

i am currently very tired it is quite late (1 AM) but this just really needed to happen because my sleepy tired brain said OH HELL YES to this idea and here we are. Im not great at Chibi okay, just leave me be. Also I included Robin because I fuckin love that guy and his work he’s a marvelous human being

It’s also 16 million subs time, which mean probably like five people will actually see my crazed doodle (hello!), so if you don’t think that its absolute crap (I do) drop a like. -scroll on if you don’t want to read about my jack experience, mmkay? Thanks, have fun on tumblr!-

I found Jack at about 3 mil, but the first video I watched was his 1 mil subscriber Draw my Life. He was adorable, and Irish, and I was intruiged. At the time, he was uploading the Deadpool series, and it had just started. So I watched that. And Bully. And all of Stranded Deep, Subnautica, Sims 4, and The Escapists, in a week or so. I loved the energy and spirit that he had, though, to me, he wasn’t all that loud haha.

Flash forward to now, (three? it’s about three, maybe four) years later, and I’m off to college. I still watch Jack daily, usually both videos. Only one if it’s horror, lol, I’m a baby and can’t handle the scares. I still love his energy and spirit, and I appreciate how Jack has matured and grown along with the channel. I hope to continue to watch his content for as long as he makes it.

Oh wow are you still reading this…uh…not sure how to end it… hi? Thank you for taking your time to read this, have a good rest of your day/night in this tag!

yes i know that the can has wrong perspective shut up it’s one in the morning and im trying to draw cut me some slack okay thanks

anonymous asked:

Anon who sent the Batman Musical ask! That was amazing! I laughed so much, and now I can just picture Jason singing/humming the songs on patrol and getting Steph to join in with him

  • there was a nightwing song. it referenced nightwing’s butt at least five times; three of them were puns. dick loves it. he sings it all the time, completely without shame.
    • damian is disgusted
    • why is grayson Like This
  • there was a robin song which was quite good
  • there was also a robin and batgirl song
    • jason and steph take to singing that one if they go on patrol together (or sometimes steph and cass sing it together)
    • there’s a line that goes something like “robin and batgirl here to stop this crime!!” which is perfect for jason and steph and it’s the main thing that they sing to announce their presence to the baddies
    • the best part is that they can switch out red hood and spoiler with it if they want (bc same syllable count), or they can keep it as is because they’re robin and batgirl, or steph can lay claim to robin and jason sings batgirl’s part while they’re kicking ass
    • it’s great
  • the best of adam west batman was there in the musical. and by that i mean there was a whole bunch of “gee willikers batman!” and “holy _____, batman!!”
    • did a tiny dick grayson actually say these things when he was robin? does gotham have an incredibly long memory when it comes to its vigilantes? or did the creators of the musical make it up wholesale as an added bit of humor
    • probably a bit of both honestly
    • the many and varied signs everywhere around the stage are just to be funny, though
  • the family ends up in a kind of competition to see how many quotes they can slip in before bruce notices and makes them stop
    • this game is different from the quote-off/singing competition that they also start to regularly involve themselves in with the rest of their siblings. in this game you get points for how many/most obvious/most obscure quotes/if you can make song lyrics sound like regular speech when talking to batman
    • bruce knows way too many song lyrics/quotes from this musical now
    • he’s so tired
  • a few weeks after the musical premiered, a video shows up on the internet, completely untraceable in the way that means oracle was involved somehow. 
    • in it, the person holding the camera is sneaking up on nightwing and batman. once you get close enough to hear them, it’s easy to see that nightwing is just quoting bits and pieces of the batman musical to batman’s face
    • finally, nightwing says a quote that, in the musical, has a direct response from batman. nightwing looks like he’s gearing up to finish the line and then carry on, but batman turns to him and–
    • he says the next line
    • nightwing nearly falls off the roof
    • “oh shit,” whoever’s holding the camera says, laughing so hard that they fumble their phone and the picture goes shaky
    • by the time it’s steady again, batman has turned to Look at the person with the camera
    • “hood, don’t even think about–” he starts
    • “too late!” red hood says, still laughing, and he takes off running. 
    • the last thing that the viewers can see is a glimpse of the night sky and a vigilante over hood’s shoulder as batman follows him
While eating breakfast...

Mom: *looks over my shoulder to see that I’m reading* I still don’t understand how you can’t help yourself from reading this early in the morning. I understand that books develop the mind, but at 6am?
Me: *shrugging nonchalantly while trying not to look amused at the fact that I am currently reading smut* I mean…
My sister: *eyes me suspiciously*
Me: I guess you could say that I like Lemon with my morning Tea
My sister:*chokes*
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom: *passes the lemon*
Me:*sips tea with immense satisfaction*

  • Me, this morning: I'm glad we won't get any new dan and phil content today. We all need a break. Everything has been so good lately, and I'm sure they're also tired from having to work on videos constantly. This is good for everyone.
  • Me, two hours later: Wow, I really miss dan and phil. How long has it been since they last uploaded? They should start daily vlogging. I miss fresh content. God, it's been so long since I've seen their faces. Hope they're doing alright.
What I Read This Week

I had a great time reading this week!

#FREEWHALESFROMBUTTS by cuttlemefish, Mature, 3.8k
It’s just another day at Martha’s Vineyard for Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov. On break from Yale and Harvard respectively, Yuuri and Viktor are ready to fall back in love and look good while doing it (or so Yuuri thinks until he discovers that his boyfriend wears pastel shorts with whales). Or the plotless (rich) preppy fashion AU inspired by some anons on Tumblr who decided we should discuss the horror of Vineyard Vines pastel whale-print shorts. #FreeWhalesFromButts 

I. Am. Screaming. I loved this fic, it made all my rich kid/Ivy AU dreams come true. Thank you Wrath for showing me this fic when I needed it most. #blessed #FreeWhalesFromButts

Raison d'Être by cutesudon (vityanikiforova), Explicit, 12k
President Nikiforov of Russia has a few weaknesses: premium rye vodka, an attention span of 30 minutes, and a torrid love affair with the Japanese Prime Minister.

You all HAVE to real this. Seriously. So, so incredible. I loved every minute of reading this. Such an amazing fic!

Don’t You Know That’s the Way Love Comes? by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Gen, 15k (WIP)
Deputy Director of the Parks Department Victor Nikiforov gets the surprise of his life when the city government gets a visit from a pair of auditors.

As always, this pic is BOMB! Loved the update, and this pic in general. SO funny, cute, and light! Must read!

Smile, Open Wide, Let’s See What’s Inside by stanzas, Teen, 13k
“You should propose with a tooth instead of a diamond on it,” Yuri suggests out of the blue, and sighs when the game character on his screen falls off and dies again. He’s stuck on level 86, and his death count is in the low thousands. Not that Yuuri’s keeping track. “It’s romantic.” “That might be one of the most repulsive ideas you’ve ever shared,” Yuuri tells him, without looking up from his phone.

The sequel to the infamous (and amazing) dentist AU!! I loved this fic a lot, if you liked the first fic you MUST read this update! :D

28 Tuxes by vodkawrites, Teen, 25k (WIP)
While planning his 28th wedding, Yuuri begins to wonder if he can ever find love for himself.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD OMG!!!! This fic is so amazing, the last update KILLED me! I loved the movie, and this fic is even better. I can’t wait to read the final chapter!

“Be My Sex Coach, Victor!” by lucycamui, Explicit, 42k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki has always been his own worst critic, and a series of unfortunate short-lived relationships has him convinced that he flubs things more in the bedroom than out on the ice. So, of course it would turn out that the ridiculously charming Russian he’s matched with online is a pornstar. But perhaps, a ‘professional opinion’ is exactly what Yuuri needs…

I can’t believe how funny, sexual, and emotional this fic is!! Every update is amazing and I seriously can’t even believe this fic is real LOL You’ll never know how much you need this fic in your life until you read it! Check it out!

My Boy Builds Coffins by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Explicit, 9.5k (WIP)
Yuuri’s always dealt with a lot of (pun not intentional) grief about the family business, so much so he’s given up on making many friends or finding romance.But during one morning Starbucks rush, he meets a light-haired, blue-eyed man in dark colors and manicured nails who just might prove him wrong that no one will be able to get past his job.

Already a favourite of mine. Such a different AU that I was not expecting to love but I am so pleasantly surprised!! 

The Katsulanont Guide to Surviving College (Rice Cooker Required) by xylophones, Teen, 4.2k
A friendship told through three hamsters, a rice cooker, and the resurrected trade-and-barter system.

Such a fun and easy read. I love college!Yuuri and Phichit! 

Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts by Reiya, Explicit, 167k (WIP)
Part 2 of the Rivals series and companion fic to ‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’. One small change alters the course of both Viktor and Yuuri’s entire lives, throwing them into a bitter rivalry that spans across many years and creates a world where they both tell a very different side to the story.

no. nope. i…. i am dead.


(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love!

ciuucalata’s klance fic rec list

part 1

Right To The Core by BleuSarcelle

(The one that it’s based on a short cute angsty video from tumblr and I couldn’t help myself to make my space gay suffer.)

listen here. this fic! this fic!!! it destroyed me but i love it so damn much. the angst is amazing and… god i am crying just thinking about it now. please read it and i promise you won’t regret it.

Dancing With Bluenette by BleuSarcelle

(The one where Keith wants to propose to his boyfriend and almost has a heart attack.) (Then the other one where Lance proposes back and Keith cries.) (The following one where they both cry because wedding make you cry.) (And that last one where they adopt.)

if you’ve read that angsty af fic and you need something to heal your heart and soul please read this because it’s so damn fluffy and domestic it’ll make you tear up. and when you finish this please read the whole series bc it’s so fluufy and good!!!!

Kiss by coralreefskim

“Keith,” Lance slurred, so it sounded more like he was saying Keef instead.

“What,” Keith said flatly, not really asking, as he jogged over to Red, eyes glowing yellow into life.

“You have stars in your eyes.”

Keith choked. “What?”

“Why do you have stars in your eyes?” Lance murmured.

ft low key mutual pining and bad pick up lines

i loove the way the author wrote keith and all the other characters. it felt so in character to me and the dialogue is soo good!! the fic is really cute and it made me smile so much

Please Don’t Go by Lxie

“Please don’t go.”

“Sorry, Lance." 

okay i know this is angst too but i promise you it’s really good. i loved the writing so much! like the biginning hit me hard and i fell in love with it instantly. and there’s also a second part!!! and lxie promised me a happy ending so there’s also that

Hello Meithman by archaicsextoy

Red escapes from Keith’s apartment only for his super unfairly attractive neighbor to bring her back. 

this was so cute!!! keith worrying about his cat was adorable and there were parts that made me laugh out loud tbh. this fic made me smile so much and i just love it!!

high tide, incoming by kojondo

It starts like this:

They’re sitting across from each other at a table in the local burger joint, tossing casual banter and the occasional insult back and forth. It’s familiar and comfortable, reminiscent of every other conversation they’ve ever had, until out of nowhere Lance leans forward and says with a mouth full of fries, “Let’s date.”

okaty okay okay the beginning of this fic is really really good. and pining keith is always a good thing. and the ending was just so damn soft. and the comparisons to the ocean were so well done. I LOVE COMPARISONS

Butterfly Kisses? by waffle_walks

"Butterfly kisses?" 

this is so damn soft and fluffy. *soflty* what the heckie? it had me squeeling so much and smiling so hard. please please read it. i promise you you’ll be smiling so hard your cheeks will hurt

You’ve Been Added To Space Nerds by bespectacledoikawa

Space Daddy™: Children,
Space Daddy™: please.

( or that one fic where voltron meme squad is formed by various college kids all over japan and keith is slowly falling head over heels in love with the kid with freckles on his face and stars in his eyes )

listen here. this fic is everything, it’s one of the firsts group chat fics that i ever read and i absolutely fell in love with it. i loved the ending and the pining was soo good. but mostly the interactions between everyone were the best. and coran is also present here which is always a bonus

Barbie Girl by shipstiel

Soulmate AU—Everyone hears the occasional stray thought from their soulmate—more of a glimpse into their mind than anything else. Unfortunately for him, Keith seems to have gotten the strangest, most irritating soulmate ever and seriously who the hell sings Barbie Girl at three in the morning, what are you twelve? Get some fucking sleep. 

soulmates aus are always the best thing ever no mater what. and this one is too. it was so funny and i loved it so much!! the ending was the best. and there’s also a second part from lance’s pov so make sure to read that too

Must Have Done Something Right by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

“So that was…”
“If you say painless I’m shoving you into another snowdrift.”
“Okay, that’s fair.  But you got a lollipop!”  
“That you stole from pediatrics.”  
“I’m a very good date.”

Lance accidentally crashes into his new neighbor in front of their mailboxes and somehow ends the night with a very attractive (and slightly concussed) date.

this is the first part of True Love or Something and i just started reading it but i am in love with it. cneiurnhcr wish i could talk more about this but i am only at the seventh part but i promise you this is an amazing series and you should read it

Keep reading

Babysitter (Part 2)

Summary: Your parents have to leave for a buiness trip for the weekend and you invite Taehyung over

Pairing: Kim Taehyung/ Reader

Genre: Smut X2

Word: 3.3k

A/N: I suppose there will be a part 3 lol maybe- Sorry if this one is not as good

Part 1 | MasterlistPart 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

The new New York Times piece titled "And Jesus Said Unto Paul Ryan" is a masterpiece

Before I launch into this, I want to state up front, this is not directed at you, anonymous. Thank you for thinking of me, and the article is a funny read. 

But I also read the article on the train to work this morning (before I ever got this ask) and it has been bothering me all day. I thought about it at lunch. It niggled at me during my healthcare policy class, because the Social Security Act is boring and so was the view out the window. And on the train ride home, I went huh.

I don’t give a fuck whether Paul Ryan is a good Christian. 

I was surprised too! But it turns out, I don’t give a fuck whether any of my elected leaders’ policies are consistent with their professed Christianity. I don’t care whether their policies are consistent with my or anyone else’s Christianity. If the Second Coming happened tomorrow, and Jesus came down on a cloud and handed me the ACA replacement bill, I would still want to see the Congressional Budget Office report about it.

It’s fun to condemn our political leaders for hypocrisy. (God knows most of them are, and so deserve it.) But at the same time, I feel like we keep circling the same fallacy—”well, you know Ryan and his ilk aren’t real Christians; real Christians would [insert political viewpoint here].” It’s a fun fallacy! You pull it out at parties and it gets you off the hook entirely. You might be a thing, but you’re not that thing, so it’s all okay!

The problem with this is that…..well, real Christians are, and have. Real Christians have had slaves or been complicit in slavery, they’ve started wars and genocides and simony and scandal. Real Christians had a vested interest in the oppression of women and the conversion of all people on earth to Christianity. Real Christians killed Jews and Real Christians killed Muslims and Real Christians in the US today have decided to continue that 2000 year unbroken tradition of hate. Real Christians scream outside of abortion clinics. Name it, Real Christians have done it, or been complicit in it. You can’t divorce the words of Jesus from the bits of history or politics you don’t approve of—or at the very least, you can’t pretend as though “Real Christianity” is a totally separate animal, innocent in comparison with its ugly political cousin.

At the end of the day, the Christian Bible has been used to both support and condemn all sorts of political activity since….before the ink of the canon had a chance to dry. And I’m sure that in two hundred years, there will still be thinkpieces arguing that the senator isn’t a real Christian, because a real Christian would have issued a statement welcoming the sentient moss of Zebble-gor to Congress.

But I don’t like it. Because—well, because we’re not a theocracy. Whether someone is a good Christian or a hypocritical Christian is irrelevant. Our elected leaders need to be good leaders. Full stop. They should be guided by honesty and innovation and civic-mindedness and compassion and intelligence; they should be ethical and make choices with integrity, take their position and its obligations seriously, listen to their constituents. If those qualities come out of their commitment to Christianity, that’s fine! But they don’t have to, and I don’t think it’s productive—even within the Christian community—to go back and forth about someone’s religiosity.

I don’t care if Paul Ryan is a good Christian. He can settle that one up with our Lord and Savior when the time comes. But he’s the principal sponsor of a frankly shitty piece of legislation, which offers significant federal savings at the expense of poor and elderly individuals. 

And that’s the sin I’m not ready to forgive.

This Is War [3]
Request: jealous!bucky where he tries to outdo the guy in everything and its just ridiculous and funny (Again, wasn’t sure if this was an ACTUAL request, but I thought it would be fun as one :p) 


Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1069

Warnings: This part is a little angsty? Reader is COLD. 

A/N: Here is part 3!! Feedback would be awesome as always! I hope you enjoy this part and thank you everybody for reading!! It means SO much to me. xo

Keep reading

Today, I fucked up... by falling asleep on my girlfriend’s couch

When I was in high school years ago, my girlfriend and I would often fool around on the couch in her parents living room. Her parents would always go upstairs to watch TV in the evening, so this worked out perfectly for us. During this one particular evening, we both ended up falling asleep with half our clothes off (unintentionally) and slept right through until the morning. I was shocked to wake up the next morning to the sound of her Dad’s footsteps upstairs. I threw my clothes on in record time and tried to run out of the house but that plan did not succeed. I did make it as far as the front door just as her Dad was coming down the stairs. Her Dad is clearly surprised to see me. He slowly says to me: “Oh, hello, what are you doing here?” OK, it was 5:30 in the morning, so this is what comes out of my mouth. I say: “Oh, hi Mr. Jones, I’m just going out fishing for the day, and thought I would come say hello to Susan first.” To my great astonishment, HE BUYS THIS EXPLANATION. He smiles, wishes me good luck fishing, and goes to read the morning paper. Susan told me that years later she told her Mom this story, and the two of them still laugh at her Dad for falling for this.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

Soulmate!Wonwoo

Originally posted by minghaon

  • soulmate au where you can hear your soulmate’s thoughts
  • the first time you heard your soulmate’s voice was when you were 12
  • a really quiet voice was talking and it seemed like they were reading a book
  • you listened to his story telling for a while before you finally perked up
  • and you scared him
  • it was endearing though
  • and you two exchanged names before the connection was cut off
  • fast forward to present day
  • Wonwoo’s love for reading only increased
  • often while you’re working, you’ll hear him reading paragraphs from a book
  • or sometimes he’ll randomly pop into your head, and he gets all giddy bc “i found a new book, its really nice, can we read it together”
  • and you get a heart attack bc wow he’s really the cutest
  • “y/n i heard you say that”
  • “bYE WoNWoo”
  • sometimes you hear him tear up bc the book he’s reading is really sad
  • and other times you hear him say something weird like ‘where are birds ears’
  • you’re just ‘really wonwoo, really. Its one in the morning shut up and go to sleep’
  • you two never really wanted to force the meeting, you both believed that it would happen at the right time
  • and it did
  • you walk into a nearby bookstore bc you keep bugging wonwoo about one of the books he read but he won’t tell you the title bc he thinks its funny that way
  • but lucky for you, you remember a paragraph from the book and from your online research you were able to snag the title
  • so you’re in the bookstore like ‘sucks for you wonwoo, i’m going to get my hands on the book’
  • wonwoo is just laughing in his head and you really want to meet him so you can hit him
  • you walk into the aisle of the book and you see this really cute guy standing in the aisle too and he’s holding a book while smiling to himself and you just think to yourself ‘cute guy’
  • wonwoo: WHAT CUTE GUY
  • so you’re standing at the spot where the book is and
  • oh no
  • it’s too high up for you to reach
  • and you’re cursing at him in your head ‘fuck you wonwoo, it’s so high up and i can’t reach the book’
  • now he’s laughing even more and suddenly the guy in the aisle is also laughing 
  • and you’re kinda ‘that’s weird’
  • so you read the title of the book he’s holding and now wonwoo is like
  • ‘wtf how do you know what i’m holding’
  • and you two look at each other and there’s this really big realisation and you two literally shout at each other
  • also wonwoo is teasing you a lot right now bc you actually called him the cute guy from before and this time you really get to hit him
  • unlike a lot of other soulmates that are awkward on the first meeting, you two hit it off really well since you two have talked for years
  • the first date you two have is just a really casual one to a book turned movie and as you’re leaving, you and wonwoo are arguing about which was better: the book or the movie
  • as much as wonwoo doesn’t want to admit, he finds you really really cute
  • ‘i heard that wonwoo’
  • ‘sToP ReAdiNg mY ThOuGhTs’
  • the first time wonwoo told you he loved you was when he was sitting on his bed, watching you in the bathroom as you were brushing your teeth and you looked up into the mirror where you smiled and almost spit out the toothpaste foam because wonwoo was staring at you
  • ‘what’ you’d ask him in your head
  • ‘i love you’ wonwoo answers quietly
  • and now wonwoo becomes this type that doesn’t say he loves you outloud so he’s always saying it in his head to you
  • and you love it bc it just feels like a secret between the two of you
  • once said ‘soonyoung accidentally kissed seokmin which is why they’re far apart’
  • and you started laughing in soonyoung’s face and kept apologizing bc soonyoung just KNOWS wonwoo told you
  • anyways soulmate wonwoo is a really cute and weird person who loves you with his whole heart, and he spends his days talking to you bc he just misses you and he even remembers your favorite paragraphs from books so he can make you happy randomly in the day.
Find Your Prompt

I thought it would be fun to do one of these with prompts. So here you go people:


1. First letter of your name.

2. Your birthday.




A. “Ow! What was that for?!”

B. “Come on, help me find it!”

C. “I want to show you something.”

D. “You do have a plan, right?”

E. “Reading from an ancient book, never a good idea.”

F. “I may kinda be stuck.”

G. “This is not funny!”

H. “It’s okay, I resurrected you.”

I. “Good morning, I made breakfast, here-”

J. “So, how did you two meet?”

K. “You can’t just die, please don’t die!“

L. “Please say you’re here to stay.”

M. “You’re staring again.”

N. “Wait, you’re royalty?”

O. “Ahh, it’s too hot in this room!”

P. “You tried to kill me!”

Q. “What did you break this time?”

R. “Looks fun, doesn’t it?”

S. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

T. “You’ve gotten us lost, haven’t you?”

U. “How did you know?

V. "Didn’t you say we were friends?”

W. “Is that a puppy? That’s so sweet, you brought me a puppy!”

X. “What is wrong with you? You drank one of those potions again didn’t you?”

Y. “You could help!”

Z. “This isn’t real.”





1. “Betrayal never comes from an enemy.”

2. “This is all your fault.”

3. “You can’t just give up!”

4. “Being part angel has it’s perks sometimes.”

5. “Don’t just stand there, run!”

6. “I beg to differ.”

7. “I stole his wallet.”

8. “Its not like you gave me a choice.”

9. “Hey, I’m with you always.”

10. “You’re about to find out.“

11. "We really don’t have time for this right now.”

12. “Of course not.”

13. “Love, I’m already dead.”

14. “Oh my gosh, that is terrifying!”

15. "Not going to happen.”

16. “Do you know how to knock?“

17. "What’s that?”

18. “It wasn’t me!”

19. “I told you not to come over here.”

20. “Run! And don’t stop running!”

21. “Take these chains off first.”

22. “I don’t even know you!”

23. “It’s three in the morning.”

24. “This place is super creepy.”

25. “Let’s just forget this ever happened.”

26. “Hey, you can’t just barge in here like that!”

27. “This one followed me home.“

28. “You don’t really believe that do you?”

29. "Me? Of course not!”

30. “I could also be living my life but look where we are.”

31. “I did?”

Another Look Around (Gaston x Reader)

Originally posted by reyskyvalker

Word Count: 2,097

Warnings: None

    Early mornings in your small village of Villeneuve were something of a dream. The soft lavender skies were yawning off the dawn and blossoming into day, a thin, swirling mist drifted above the rooftops and over the distant hills, setting the entire scenery in a hazy, enchanted state. The smell of fresh bread being baked and the aroma of the floral shops wound through the cool air like an intoxicating perfume.

    The premature breeze on your face and the fresh, dewy air was enough to make you beam despite the morning hours. You closed the front door carefully behind you, not wanting to wake your sleeping family and slipped down the steps and through the small gardens that flourished in front of the house.

    The clicking of your boots on the cobblestone was a solitary noise. One of the few other sounds present were the quiet songs of the rising birds, and the creaking of the wooden blacksmith’s sign that hung suspended over his door. It was so simple and quiet and serene that it was easy to imagine that the town was merely frozen in time rather than emerging from the night hours.

    Any time now, you thought to yourself as you took up your usual vantage near the square. Sure enough, it wasn’t more than a minute before the first cheery “bonjour!” rang through the air.

    You squealed a bit as a pair of arms were thrown around your shoulders from behind, and a familiar voice near your ear said, “Guess who?” You laughed and responded jokingly, “Hmm. Prince Charming.” The person gave a light, musical giggle and untangled herself from you to say, “Sorry, no such luck. Guess you’ll have to make due with me for now.” You rolled your eyes and turned to face her. “Oh, how dreadful.”

    Belle smiled widely and embraced you properly. When she pulled back you glimpsed an unfamiliar binding peaking out of the folds of her dress. “New book?” You asked eagerly, linking your arm through hers. Belle’s eyes lit up and she nodded, pulling the novel out of her pocket and holding it out to you as you began to wade through the steadily filling streets. “I found it in the cellar last night,” she explained as you gazed at the worn brown cover lovingly. “The Count of Monte Cristo,” you read.

    The pair of you paused to purchase a few items from Monsieur Jean, then resumed your walk. “I haven’t read it yet,” Belle said, dodging a group of laughing children as they danced past. “But from what I saw when I glanced through it, it seems exciting. Adventure and revenge and romance…”

    “Sounds like the perfect package.”

    “That’s what I thought. But I’m not finished with Romeo and Juliet yet, so you can read it first.”

    You squeezed her arm and grinned broadly. “Thanks.”

    Passing through the crowded rows of vendors every morning was uncomfortable when your family had first moved to Villeneuve. You and Belle had taken instantly to one another, despite the fact that she was considered by the townspeople to be a “funny girl”. It wasn’t long before you became guilty by association and earned yourself the same title. You were the only bookworms in town, the only people who ever thought of leaving for a different life, the only people who were able to disappear into their imaginations to escape the mundane. However at this point, you were both used to it. You learned to ignore the staring eyes and disapproving glances.

    After making a few more stops and greeting several of the shopkeepers good morning, you and Belle had managed to make a full circle around the square. You were just about to join Belle for a late breakfast when you were stopped by a loud, deep voice calling your name from across the street.

    You flinched, closing your eyes and groaning, “Oh no.” Belle snickered, her eyes fixed on the man who’d called to you. “Well,” she said hastily. “I’ll be at the house. Good luck, (Y/N)!”

    Belle gave you a smart smile, then dashed from your side and made her way quickly down the street towards her home.

    “Thanks a lot,” you muttered, shaking your head at your best friend as she disappeared from view. Steeling yourself, you slowly turned to face the man swaggering towards you, his red coat nearly blinding you in the bright sunlight.

    “Bonjour, Gaston,” you greeted politely.

    Gaston flashed a dashing white smile, the edges of his eyes crinkling slightly as he took your hand and placed a kiss to the skin. “Good morning, Mademoiselle,” he returned, his voice simultaneously rough and silky.

    “Mademoiselle? Really, Gaston, have we not know each other long enough for you to remember my name?” You teased lightly, beginning to walk slowly towards Belle’s. “On the contrary, (Y/N), yours is a name I could never forget,” Gaston assured you, following instantly. You resisted the temptation to roll your eyes.

    Gaston was easily the most popular figure in the village, as well as the handsomest. The only problem was that he knew it, and rarely did he try to conceal that fact. When he walked by, women would melt like snow on a summer day, and men would stare after him in envy. A former war captain, Gaston was most certainly an impressive sight. His chest was broad and strong, his skin tanned, his arms and legs thick with lean muscle, and his hair was dark and shiny. His face could’ve been carved from enchanted stone, his jaw and cheekbones sharp enough to cut, dusted with dark stubble. His lips were nearly always smirking, and his eyes were a smoldering brown. Ever the romantic, the man could make a horse swoon without lifting a finger. There was no denying that he was truly something.

    “You’re flattering me, Gaston,” you replied, brushing your fingers along the iron fence that ran the length of the street. “It’s too early for that.”

    “Well, in that case perhaps I should drop by later this evening.”

    You winced inwardly, realizing that you’d practically walked right into that one. You halted abruptly, causing Gaston - who had been trailing particularly close - to bump into you. You turned to him with a slightly annoyed expression, to which he merely smiled apologetically. You pursed your lips, trying to find a kind way to refuse his offer. In the end all that came out was “Um…not this evening.”

    The shaky and terribly unconvincing way in which you’d spoken made even you cringe. Unlike Belle, you didn’t despise Gaston, and sometimes even enjoyed his company. However his constant attempts at wooing were a bit off-putting at times, and soon they began to blend together into one big blur of flowers and romantic gestures. It was because of this that you declined his invitation, yet the last thing that you wished to be was rude or insensitive…or in this case, awkward.

     There was a falter in Gaston’s smile as he asked, “You have other engagements?” You bit your lip debating whether lie and tell him that you had plans, or to tell the truth and admit that you simply weren’t in the mood for company. You wound up hesitating too long, causing an ungraceful “Yes” to tumble through your lips.

    You wheeled around quickly so that Gaston couldn’t see you scrunch your face in frustration. You were usually able to handle these situations with relative ease, but for some reason, today was different.

  Gaston continued to follow you as you set off once again towards Belle’s, clearly seeing straight through your terrible lies. This time when he spoke, his voice was suave, but earnest.

  “Oh, (Y/N), how long must you keep this up?” he said, practically walking on top of you, his chest to your shoulder, somehow managing not to trip either of you. “It’s been three months and talking to you is practically like trying to hold a conversation with a brick wall.”

  You gave a short, breathy laugh and countered, “It’s been four years, Gaston. Ever since we met I couldn’t go five steps without either you or LeFou hanging over my shoulder. Surely even you can see how that might get a bit old after a while?”

  Gaston didn’t reply immediately. In fact, he stopped where he was, and you had made it to the gate of Belle’s house by the time he pursued you again. You slipped through the iron fence and closed it just as Gaston arrived, planting his hands on either side of where yours rested on the gate. “Very well then, perhaps my attempts have been a bit excessive over the years –”

  “A bit.”

  “- but answer me one thing, (Y/N) …if not me then who?”

  You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Gaston’s expression was imploring and sympathetic. Whether or not it was sincere, you couldn’t tell. You swallowed, unable to respond.  

  “What about after your father and mother die?” Gaston went on, slowly sliding his hands to cover yours. “And it’s just you and the responsibilities that you won’t be able to fulfill without a husband at your side. You know what happens to spinsters in this town once they’re left on their own…” He leaned forward over the fence. “…they wind up on the streets, begging for food and spare coins from complete strangers until the day that they die sad, lonely deaths…”

  Your heartbeat was accelerating. If you had the will, you would’ve informed Gaston that coming upon a single stranger in Villeneuve was immensely rare, and that you obviously wouldn’t be alone, thanks to your friendship with Belle. But the words simply wouldn’t leave your throat.

  By this point, you and Gaston were practically touching noses. Your cheeks were now the color of his crimson coat, and your gaze was trapped in his intense brown eyes like flies trapped in honey.

  “I wouldn’t be able to live knowing such a fate had befallen you,” he whispered.

  You swallowed thickly. “Are you implying that I’ll never find another man besides you?” you practically squeaked. Gaston smiled sympathetically. “Of course not. Only that time won’t wait for you.”

  “So you think I simply haven’t met the right man?”

  “Well -”

  “Because it’s a small village, Gaston. I’ve met them all. So, I suppose that means that my future husband won’t be a resident of these parts.”

  With that, you gathered enough willpower to pull your wrists from his grasp and back away towards the front door. Gaston gave what sounded like an indignant sigh. “Well, maybe you just need to take another look around!” he said, easily swinging himself over the fence and following you to the steps.

    You turned back around once you reached the top, seeing Gaston perched beneath you, one leg mounted on the second step, staring up at you. You raised your eyebrows.

  “Another look around?”

  “Exactly!”

  “Preferably in your general direction, I suppose.”

  A dazzling smirk slid across his lips.

  You laughed out loud, turning your back and grasping the knob of the door. Before you could open it however, Gaston tread up the steps two at a time, throwing one hand against the door to prevent you from escaping him, leaving you trapped between the pane and his body.

  “Gaston!” you practically whined. He looked pleased with himself, but stealthily masked it. “Please, (Y/N),” he said quickly, giving you a desperate smile. “Just one more chance. That’s all I’m asking of you. And if in the end your feelings are unchanged, then I will relent to your wishes and leave you be.”

  You were surprised to see his eyes suddenly soften, and for the moment, his entire demeanor changed. The cockiness faded to nonexistence, and sincerity bloomed in its place, so raw and real that you felt butterflies going haywire in your stomach. Your chest was brushing his, the difference in your heights was laughable, yet somehow he seemed so, so, close…

  In one swift move, you managed to remove his arm from the door, yank it open, and slide inside. But before closing it, you hastily informed, “It wouldn’t be completely pointless for you to look for me at the tavern tonight.”

  Then before the heat in your face became too evident, you closed the door and practically collapsed against it, your heart pounding and an extremely stupid grin on your lips. It certainly didn’t help when you heard Gaston’s deep, husky laughter ringing just on the other side of the wood.

  Belle peered quizzically at you from the kitchen for a few seconds, then she frowned as she asked, “What on earth happened to you?”

PLEASE READ IF YOU’D LIKE

I am a high school drop out with severe depression and anxiety.
I’ve been trying to get a job for 4 months now so I can finally start to get my life rolling.

I shared this photo with my friend not even 2 days ago and now I start work at a 5 star hotel tomorrow morning.

I just thought maybe some people should know.

Know that like, some good can come out of life too.

im gonna type the whole song from memory ok

little town. it’s a quiet village. every day, like the one before. little town, full of little people. waking up to say…bonjour! bounjour! bonjour, bounjour, bonjour! there goes the baker with his tray like always, the same old bread and rolls 2 sell. every morning just the same, since the morning that we came to this poor provencial town. good morning, belle! good morning, mouseir! where you off to? the book shop i read the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and a that’s nice

MARIE THE BAGUETTES HURRY UP.

look there she goes the girl is strange no question, dazed and distracted can’t you tell never part of any crowd cuz her head’s up on some cloud no denying she’s a funny girl that belle. bonjour! good day! how is your family? bonjour! good day! how is your wife? I NNEEED,, SXIX EGGS,, that’s too expensive, there must be more than this provincial life! ah belle. good morning! i’ve come to return the book i borrowed. finished already? oh i couldn’t put it down have you got anything new. not since yesterday. that’s alright! i’ll borrow this one. but you’ve read it twice! well it’s my favorite – far off places (?), daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise. haha, well if you like it all that mutch it’s yours. but sir…i insist. well thank you. thank you very much! look there she goes that girl is so peculiar, i wonder if she’s feeling well. with a dreamy faroff look, and a nose stuck in a book, what a puzzle to the rest of us is belle. oh, isn’t this amazing, it’s my favorite part because, you see…here’s where she meets prince charming, but she won’t discover that it’s him til chapter three. now there’s no wonder that her name means beauty her looks have got no paralllel. but behind that fair facade, i’m afraid she’s rather odd. very different from the rest of us she’s nothing like the rest of us yes different from the rest of us is belle! fuck the gaston part. look there…he goes. isn’t he dreamy. monsieur gaston, oh he’s so cute! (tongue pop) be still, my heart, i’m hardly breathing…he’s such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute. bonjour PARDON good day MAIS OUI you call this bay WHAT LOVELY GRAPES. ten yards, one pound, SCUZE ME i’ll get my knife PLEASE LET ME THROUGH this bread THOSE FISH its stale THEY SMELL  madame’s mistake–well maybe so there must be more than this provincial life! just watch im going to make belle my wife! look there she goes that girl is strange but special, a most peculiar mademoiselle its a pity and a sin she doesn’t quite fit in cuz she really is a funny girl a beauty but a funny girl she really is a funny girl, that belle – bonjour! bonjour! bonjour! bonjour! bonjour! 🅱️️onjour!

fic: No Strings

title: no strings.

genre: smut/humour

word count: 3000

description: Phil really misses sex and it turns out that Dan really misses sex, too. So…they just decide to have sex together. No strings. FWB minus the usual dramatic storyline that follows. Hilarity and #bants ensues.

“Just sex?” Phil repeats, “No strings?”

“Yes,” Dan nods, “that’s generally what no strings means,”

“Literally just sex?”

“Fucking hell. Look, Phil, I can spell it out for you or you can put your dick in my ass - it’s totally your choice. Have sex and be satisfied or wank alone to a Muse song again. What’s it gonna be?”

a/n: this is obviously smut but it’s actually funny too i promise, and it’s not like super graphic smut where you’ll cringe or whatever it’s…well, you’ll see. just read it and trust me.

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