i read it all the time when i was a kid

Chapter Four: The Armor on My Heart

When Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak both reach for the last Lego Batman set on the shelf at the same time one December night while holiday present shopping for their kids, they have no idea that their chance encounter is going to change their lives.

{ cover art by Nelly @smoakqueenz }

Rating: M This Chapter’s Word Count: 6092

Hey friends! Thank you so so much for all of your feedback on the last chapter! I have loved reading your reactions to this story so far and it makes me happy to hear that y'all are enjoying this au twist on Olicity :D This chapter was an emotional one for me to write so I hope you enjoy!


“I cannot get over the mental picture of the two of you sneaking around like teenagers,” Dinah remarked with a laugh after Felicity had caught her up to speed about what had happened the past week with Oliver. It was Saturday morning and the two of them were currently eating breakfast at the café next to the yoga studio where they had been bending and balancing in a class an hour ago.

She smiled at the memories and shrugged, “I never had a boyfriend in high school, so it was kind of fun. I know I need to eventually tell my mom about us, but… you know how she is.”

“Oh yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she starts assembling your binder the moment you tell her you’re seeing someone.”

“Which is precisely why I’m not telling her yet. I need to take this at my pace, not hers.”

Although, admittedly, her pace seemed to have somehow rapidly sped up since her initial intention to take things slow.

“So, when are you going to see him again?”

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tagging people under the cut…

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My TMNT 2012 Speech

Ok first of all, I already watched the final chapter of our half-shell heroes and I’m gonna say I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, I laughed I screamed I cried it just got me and before I start saying my gratitude for Ciro Neil and Kevin Eastman I wanna share with you my thought about t the most beautiful series I’ve ever seen.

When I was a kid I used to watch the TMNT 2003 as a Animator Designer I’m a fan of 2D animation and I liked to watch the series with my sister and my brother, in that time I was like 10 years old girl with no idea what animation was all I knew was that I liked it as a lot of series but the TMNT had that spark that got my attention, I remember to read some of the comics but I never was a huge fan over comics so I don’t remember most of them (but that’s another story), but what I did know was that the series got my attention some how but then as every 10 years old kid I changed my attentions for something else.

Then 9 years passed and the TMNT 2012 was announced on TV in my land and I was starting my career as a Animation Designer I was beginning to nurture my passion with animation and to get acquainted with 3D animation and when I knew about the series I got my attention I told myself why not it looked cool interesting and it had potencial and as a very curious girl I am I gave it a try and when I watched the first chapter I said OH MY HOLLY GOD!!!

It was beautiful, more beautiful beyond what I’ve seen on a series, the animation was awesome, the character design was so cool, the plot was amazing it is a MASTER PIECE. This series has everything I expected an more it has action, drama, comedy, has a good script and the characters my god the characters baby they went super pro with them as the design as the personally the 4 turtles just got my heart in ways I can’t explain, each of them has that charm that makes them so unique and when I started my blog and met the TMNT 2012 fandom I met a lot of nice people who share the same love for them and  through every chapter it was aired I learned more than animation.

They just taught us some many lessons about life, family, brotherhood, friendship, love, freedom and most of the lessons they also learned is never giving up. As I said one of some of my TMNT art I’ve made with them I learned to brave like Leo, to be strong like Raph, to be smart like Donnie and to be funny like Mikey, every time I watch them and their adventures they have this light that everyone seek and it is HOPE.

Their hope of chasing their dream to go out of the sewers, meeting amazing friends, finding the love and even though the were hit, hurt, blasted, humiliated, haunted they never gave up after all they’d been through they always looked for a way to stand up and keep fighting no matter the adversities stood in their way, they just keep fighting never give up and never loose hope for making the difference and the sure did the difference.

I just wanna say thanks to all the TMNT 2012 fandom, we shared so much together like fanarts, fanfictions, gifs, theories, adventures and yeah we also shared so many laughs and tears for them like the time Mikey dreamt of Pizza Face, or Donnie creating Metalhead, Leo and Raph’s rivalry and also finding the love even if it was for a moment or 2. So to Ciro Neil and Kevin Eastman I wanna thank you for bringing this beautiful piece of art into the light those 5 years were the happiest of my and our entire life and I won’t never forget it as long as I live. 

And as for the turtles I wouldn’t like to be this a goodbye ‘cuz it’s not, ‘cuz you are the most amazing boys I’ve had the pleasure to meet and also the most handsome jajajajaja and to each one I wanna say this. 

  • Leo you’ve always been a great leader and great big bro for your bros, never stop doing the right thing and be the bravest turtle you’ve always been.
  • Raph even though you are a hothead I always knew you have a huge golden heart, always protecting your big and little bros, just keep fighting and stay strong (btw you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen).
  • Donnie that brain of your is just as big as your heart and your inventions are beyond of this world, keep working hard and never stoped being a dreamer ‘cuz that’s what you are a smart dreamer.
  • Mikey you little energetic fellas, you always bring fun and laughs even in the darkest moments in life so never stop smiling and bring joy to everyone.

Wow that was a huge speech jejejejeje well at final all I need to say is THANK BOYS, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU TAUGHT ME, no matter what you 4 knuckleheads will always be part of me and my heart and where ever you are, your journey is not over yet and I will remember with a big huge and great…

…Booyahkashaaaaaaaaaa!!!

tanovic54321  asked:

Do you have any writing tips?

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

First of all, I’d like to apologize for not replying to this sooner, but I wanted to think about your question for a while. Now. To be honest, I’m probably not the best person to ask for this, to be honest, because there are tons of other authors that are way better than me, but I can definitely try.

  1. I think the best thing you could do is read. Read everything. Read an article in a magazine. Read fanfiction. Read books, no matter the genre. It’s the only way we can learn. When I started writing in English, my work was absolutely terrible. I’m not kidding. I can show you just a passage from my first work written in English and you’ll be mortified. But a few months after that, I started buying English books and kept reading. And then, I started reading fanfiction. And people might have such a hard time believing it but it helped me so much because I started figuring out patterns of speech I liked, expressions I found wonderful, correct grammatical forms, new words and it helped me develop and create my personal style so much. 
  2. Another thing I did when I started was to write down certain phrases and expressions I liked. I keep a document of them in my PC and even though I don’t use them in my fics -and never will because that’s plagiarism and it’s just wrong) I took notice of the syntax or the words they used or the emotions they conveyed to see why I liked them so much and tried to find ways to include such things in my writing.
  3. If you write a scene and it doesn’t feel right after the third or fourth read, then don’t hesitate to change it. I rewrite tons of my scenes because I’m not happy with them/can’t help feel there’s something missing. In my AU, Cross My Heart, I wrote the first scene three times and then deleted it and did it all over again because I felt there was something missing. I really love that scene now.
  4. Write whatever you want to write. Don’t listen to people telling you your ideas aren’t good enough/too difficult/not worth it. If you love an idea, you can make it work, no matter how challenging.
  5. Pay attention to the details. Punctuation. Where the quatation marks are supposed to go. Grammar. Correct syntax. I know I sound like a 50 year old English teacher right now, but these things are often the details that make a difference in one’s writing. For me, it’s very hard to read a fic with poor grammar because English is not my first language and it messes with my head and the things I consider right. I’m not saying mistakes can’t be made (we’re all human and no matter how many times you read something over there’s always going to be that one typo/wrong grammatical form that’s gonna get away. But still.)
  6. If your fic takes place in a particular historical era or it is anything to do with a domain you’re not familiar with, don’t hesitate to do some research. It’s good to get the details write and let the reader know you’re knowing what you’re talking about.
  7. If you want the dialogue to be natural, read it out loud once it’s done. I do that all the time and I have to delete/rewrite parts of it because they don’t sound as good as they should. When you write a dialogue you’re practically imitating a spontaneous speech so, it should sound as such. 
  8. Edit. Edit everything. Read your fic over and over again until you’re happy with it. 
  9. Enjoy what you do. Writing is difficult, yes, but it’s also so much fun. We should all write for us first, and then for others. If you take pleasure in your work, never stop.

Also. If you want more advices or if you’re looking for more particular things I suggest you visit @lipstickandwhiskey‘s blog because she posts Writing Tips there and @hazelsfanfictionguide  (@idreamofhazel’s sideblog concerning writing).

I really hope I could help, even a little bit. Thank you for stopping by!

Originally posted by stitchholdsmyheart

thedogthatkissesback  asked:

any interest in weird/creepy/unusual stuff? not like monster movies or stuff like that, but like myths and stories cause ive been watching one dude that makes vids about subjects like mother horse eyes and its all super interesting to learn about

oh yeah true crime is super interesting to me as well as unsolved mysteries and shit like that. when i was a kid i used to read about alien and cryptid shit like all the time and i still have a soft spot for it even if i dont believe in the stories anymore

WHY I LOVE U

Venus in Aries: I heard your laughter before I saw you. And then I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And after everyone had gone home we were still running around, or you were running I was just trying to keep up. You work hard, play hard and love even harder, but you like to try on a couple of sizes before you find the right fit. It’s the way you make me laugh at the most ludicrous things, the way you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to go and get it. You make me feel like anything is possible. Our love was like a tickle war turned makeout session, and I still remember the heat when our skin touched. There will never be anyone like you. 

Venus in Taurus: Being with you is like coming home. Like a perfect dream. Like lavender candles and cuddling up to a marathon of our favourite show. You kissing me between every episode. You don’t like playing games and you don’t like being rushed when falling in love. You take your sweet time, worshipping my body and my mind so my heart can’t help but follow. I remember those lazy Sundays, strolling through the furniture store, your hand in mine and we would pretend to decorate our future house. But all we came out with were more lavender candles and a burning lust for each other. You turn the mundane into something truly magical. 

Venus in Gemini: You drive me crazy, I never know where we stand. We spend the most incredible nights together and then I don’t hear from you in forever. Maybe that’s your style, you wanna look me in the eyes and not read my words on your phone. We sit for hours and people watch, making up backstories for them. When I’m with you I have no sense of time, all I can think about is your mischievous smile and the way you play with my hair. Your love is all-consuming, like nothing in the world matters to you more. With you my sense of reason is completely clouded, I’m yours for the night and every other night. If you’ll have me. 

Venus in Cancer: My hero, my sensitive babe. Your heart on your sleeve, that look in your eyes and I was yours forever. When you kissed me I could see our lives flashing before my eyes. Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Your nose in a book but your hand on me, like you needed to be connected to me or else you’d die. Every time you catch me staring at you I can’t help the grin on my face. You are fragile and strong, creating this protective space around us where we can just be together. I love how you’re not afraid of your feelings, and how you already named our kids even though we need to discuss it lol. You make it feel so real, like you are the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Venus in Leo: I remember the first time I met you, it all happened so fast. At a party, my friend introducing you and before I knew it your arms were around me. I remember melting into your hug, and the electricity in the air when we finally let go. Everyone else thought it was weird but we both knew, there was no turning back. Being with you feels like running through a field of flowers, faster and faster. Your laughter and your moans echo in my head. My legs feel like giving out but your hand refuses to let go of mine. It’s that smile after you say something clever, and they way you make me feel like it’s just me and you versus the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved. 

Venus in Virgo: You make me feel whole. Driving down the freeway blasting our songs, I can’t sing but you don’t care. Your hand on the stick shift and for some reason I got all hot inside. It’s the way you wrap your arms around me at the checkout line, like I’m yours and you don’t care who knows. You’re thoughtful and observant, you make me feel like I matter to you. And it’s not an act, you are actually that kind. I’m trying so hard to describe you, but all I can think about is that night when my family fell apart. You drew a bath with bubbles and you held me until the water went cold. Then we ate raspberries (my favourite) and watched Modern Family. And then you loved me until I didn’t feel like I was falling apart anymore. I think that describes you more than words ever could. You’re the one I see sitting next to me on our porch doing a crossword puzzle, in our old bodies. But it doesn’t scare me because your spirit is forever young. 

Venus in Libra: Being in love with you is so easy. Our first date was to the movies. You gave me a red poppy and held my hand the entire time, gently playing with my fingers. My heart was about to beat out of my chest but somehow I was calm, because you were. I love the way you talk so easy, with that breezy confidence. Like you’d never tell me a lie. The way you were charming and kind to everyone from the bus driver to the server at the pizza shop. After talking to each other all night in the park, it was the only place that was still open. My mum still asks about you. I think she loved you more than I did, and that’s saying something. 

Venus in Scorpio: God, the way you tear me apart and then put me back together. Over and over again. You of all people know that life isn’t always chocolates and roses. You’re not afraid of the ugliness of human nature, instead you try to find the silver lining, the beauty in the madness. You demand that I’m honest with you, and in turn you trust me with your own secrets. It created a bond beyond love, or maybe it was love. It just felt different, like it was based in reality and not a love story. You’ve seen me at my worst and still think I’m beautiful, because you see people’s souls. Nobody can hide their true nature from you for you are an expert of reading between the lines. Your animalistic passion penetrates deep, and everything becomes a haze of lust and obsession. Because if you’re not obsessed it’s just not worth it. I would trust you with my life, because you would sacrifice your own for the one you love. 

Venus in Sagittarius: We had just gotten comfortable on the top of the mountain we climbed when you hit me with “Do you think out of seven billion that some people have the same personality?” And you packed my favourite sandwich, tomato, mozzarella and basil. A moment of breathless kisses and triumph. Your strength made me feel strong too, and your devotion made my heart swell. You never stand still but it doesn’t matter, because you take me with you and always make sure I’m alright. You make me feel included, showing me off and introducing me to all your friends. I’ve never felt more proud than when I’m standing next to you. When you told me how much you loved me I knew it was true. 

Venus in Capricorn: The true romantic. What drew me in was that calm stare, you looked like trouble I swear I was gonna faint on the spot. You could keep up with me, and when you took my hand and said “Trust me?” I somehow believed you. But what made me fall for you was how you kept all your promises. Your presence is honest and true, the way you make me feel like I would never be alone, like I would always have a friend. I love falling asleep in your arms to your heartbeat. You’re gentle with me, I can feel your love in every touch. Your love made me believe I could do anything, because I knew you would stick by my side. If I asked you to. 

Venus in Aquarius: Keep it cool, that’s how you roll. Almost untouchable, but you let me touch you. It was like the seasons changed in seconds. You finished that last drop of champagne and said “Let’s get wet”, then we jumped in the pool. And then you kissed me. It felt like breathing underwater, I don’t even think you live in the same world as the rest of us. I texted you at 2 a.m. and you didn’t hesitate. Trapped between your body and the wall, your lips on my neck and I was already in heaven. I never thought you loved me back, until you showed up on my doorstep, whiskey on your breath and tears in your eyes. After that I never doubted you, because I knew then that your love was more than words. 

Venus in Pisces: With you it’s all about the moment, and moments with you are plush and whimsical. Like sitting on a cloud. You are still the only person to ever write me a poem. And when you asked me if I liked it, how you let me see your vulnerable side even though the look in your eyes was sheer terror, you were brave. I was at loss for words so I just kissed you deeply. You see the beauty in the little things, like asking me about what I dreamt last night or giving me cupid earrings so they could whisper sweet nothings in my ear when you’re not around. Your love is poetic, you actually think of me and what makes me happy. Whenever you see something that reminds you of me you always let me know. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be so cherished.

Get In Losers, We’re Going Curse Breaking.

I’ve been doing some research today (I can neither confirm nor deny I’m writing the sequel chapter to Dial Tone) and I just found out that Draco Malfoy’s wife Astoria supposedly dies really young due to a curse placed on her ancestor, which leaves both Scorpius and Malfoy devastated and I’m just…are you fucking kidding me????

Are you telling me that instead of the shitheap of fiction that was The Cursed Child, we could have instead had a story about young Scorpius Malfoy finding out about the curse laid on his mother, and being the Slytherin child that he is, deciding to find a way to break it. 

Like the possibilities, I can’t even, my brain is just…running away with the idea of what you could do with a story like that. Scorpius Malfoy finds out about his mother’s curse, and how his birth shortens her life, I mean…it’s like…there, in the title??? The Cursed Child???!?

And then you have Albus “Al” Potter being sorted into Slytherin but that doesn’t make him any less like his dad so when he finds out what his friend is trying to do he’s there, he’s 100% there to help, whatever his friend needs, Albus Severus Potter is there. His dad gave him the invisibility cloak after all, what’s to stop them using it to get into the Library and reading all the books. They get caught of course, and Professor McGonagall has this surreal moment of not quite déjà vu, at having a Potter and a Malfoy breaking the rules in front of her again, but as friends??? And they’re…they’re reading about healing magic and protection spells at 3am??? Slytherins??? Is…is it too soon to consider early retirement??? Asking for a friend???

And because Al is the precious little Slytherin that he is, he has absolutely no qualms about breaking into his Dad’s office, aka Harry Fucking Potter’s Office, at the ministry and finding out all he can about the most powerful ways to break curses. But first he needs to get there and maybe a few years ago asking his dad if he could come visit on the weekend might not have been weird but it’s weird now. Everything’s been weird since he got sorted into Slytherin but that’s not important now. What is important is he’s pretty sure he remembers a giant book chained to his dad’s office desk and he needs to get to it, but he’s a bit of a squib when it comes to flying, and apparition is still beyond him, but Rose can fly. 

And even though she’s been sorted into Gryfindor and they don’t talk as often as they used to it’s worth a shot right? And initially she calls him mad for wanting to do what he wants to do (just, a moment of pure Hermione shines through, “no, absolutely not, you’re going to get us expelled or worse”) but as she listens to him, the more he pleads adamantly and vocally on behalf of his friend who is just staring at the floor, the more she realizes, they’re serious. Scorpius hasn’t even attempted to flirt with her yet…or…at all really, not recently…and she can’t help but notice he looks a little thinner, a little paler, and the dark circles under his eyes look like bruises, and when he looks up there’s a look of harrowing sorrow behind those bright eyes and Rose Granger-Weasley says slowly, “No, I’m not stealing a broom just so I can fly Albus to the Ministry…” takes a deep breath and licks her lips, determination settling over her shoulders like a well-fitted cloak. “We’re all going. But first we need to get to the Burrow.”

“The Burrow?” Al frowns, doing that weird hopping skip of a run he does to keep up with Rose’s long strides as she turns. “Why are we going to the Burrow?”

“Because, you can fit more in the trunk of a Ford Anglia.”

But no, that’s fine I guess. We’ll just get some muddled bullshit about Bad Parenting, time turners and alternate universes, feat the deranged lovechild of HimWithoutANose and RacistLeStrange. Sure. Great.

10

Diana being precious and supportive with kids remains the Most Important Content, reblog if you agree.

(Click on pictures to see issue number and year, captions under the cut for those who need them.)

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dsfsldfksldfksdf i’m honestly dead that gaming live stream was so good!!!!!!!!!!!! they were so funny and witty and natural and their banter works so well in real time and they just riff of each other so nicely and they work so well together and they flirted a fuck ton and im feeling so many things yall!!!!! here’s a v lengthy list of my fav moments: 

  • phil exposes dan and tells the audience dan makes fun of phil’s smile when they get their photos taken, and dan immediately wants to clarify he’s not being mean to phil, it’s all banter
  • dan says the big monster creature is phil’s mum and phil responds with his typical (giggling) outrage. dan immediately says he’s kidding and then says ‘love you kath’ bc he knows she watches and im gonna be honest that gave me a rush of emotion lmao 
  • phil: ‘take my lettuce’
  • dan: ‘feed me dad’ @ huge monster
  • phil: ‘plonk your tomato on my lettuce’
  • phil wants to name this ‘dan and phil’s salad dream’ dan immediately thinks that sounds like it could be a fanfic bc ofc he does
  • dan feels the need to clarify he was misquoted in one of the tweets from the jaguar event probs bc he saw the ppl dragging him for saying something that sounded like ‘millennials need products to help them go outside’ lmao
  • they have a loud faux argument when they both have to control driving the bus and my ears hurt but my heart is warm
  • phil tells dan to breathe before they start the first actual round and it’s cute
  • phil’s mostly on chopping and dishes duty and claims he doesn’t want to be sous chef. dan literally immediately responds by saying that typically the head chef is disliked by people and the sous chef is the one that actually does all the work .. wow …… what are these Emotions? it’s like when they were playing 1, 2, switch and phil was like, why do i have to be luigi and you get to be mario, and dan was like luigi’s actually the one people like :(((((( wtf :(
  • ‘get out of the way lad’ says phil to dan and i’m dying
  • dan making fun of phil for making a song reference ‘from 1982′ by fondly yelling ‘you relic’
  • dan says phil’s behavior is ‘absolute babuse’ .. and i’m crying bc they def just use this word now referencing the vid where phil predicts dan’s future and attacks him with a banana & dan probably thinks it’s hilarious that phil said it in the first place and why are they so fond of each other honestly
  • there’s a new chef in the game for round 2 who dan thinks looks like pj but phil thinks looks like the child of dan and pj and dan immediately makes yet another fanfic reference, saying a fic of that definitely exists (if there is where can i read it? does dan read parent!kickthefire fic in his free time? does phil read it bc of his mpreg fixation? i need answers)
  • phil doesn’t like soup bc is it a food or is it a drink (dan, vehemently: ‘it’s a food’)
  • dan says he’s gonna play this second round as the PJ-lookalike chef and phil takes issue: ‘i’m gonna feel like my friend has disappeared and been replaced by a slightly different replica’ dan looks at him blankly for a second and then says ’that was like a whole thing’ sdfjsldfsdf what a weird interaction ahahaha i feel like dan was a bit thrown by phil making a big deal out of dan playing as ‘himself’ in the game 
  • phil keeps reminding dan to relax and it makes dan giggle a lot. phil’s like, ‘philly says relax’ and dan just goes full dimply, crinkly smile and my heart has fully melted
  • phil says ‘oh daniel’ in a deep singsong-y voice. phil just sang a lot in general in this stream, the thing where he replaces words to common tunes with whatevers happening in the game, and he does that all the time and it’s one of his most endearing traits for sure
  • dan: ‘i’m going to give you a soup thats not on fire’ phil: ‘put it in my mouth’
  • dan’s making these horrendous spitting spluttering noises and phils just gentle and going ‘dan we’ve got another tomato to do’ a couple of times to get him to focus ahahah
  • ‘this is not a hierarchy thing. we’re both a part of this kitchen’ this feels like a metaphor
  • phil suggests they do a ‘fist bump of truth’ before starting the final round
  • ‘dan i love your butt’ dan reads from the chat, and promptly gives a dead stare to the camera before saying he’ll ignore the chat again for a bit
  • ‘don’t be upset I’m not offended’ says phil to the audience when dan screams at him and alleges that they would’ve done fine that round if phil hadn’t ‘ballsed it up.’ lmao!!!!! they’re both so aware of people thinking dan is mean to phil, its kind of funny that phil’s instinct was to laugh at dan yelling at him and then to reassure the viewers that he’s literally completely fine and no one needs to bother feeling upset on his behalf.
  • why can they just say a word like ‘potato’ and then immediately know the reference they’re both thinking of and both start singing at like the exact same time it’s disturbing
  • ‘dan and phil’s salady dreams’ says phil, he’s really into these suggestive salad phrases
  • phil: ‘don’t swear’ dan: ‘this is a christian channel. no yiffing’
  • phil: ’we’re like a well oiled machine’ dan: ’we’re symbiotic right now’ (is this them just describing their general state of being)
  • wtf was that whole ad bit??? phil had a potential contact lens issue and dan starts asking him about it before randomly breaking off to look at phil intensely and do some cutesy facial expressions and then ask in a strangely soft, almost childish voice whether he can ‘press the button’ and they both kind of just look at each other and giggle and then phil is like weird and placating in his tone and it’s ….. cute??? why was that interaction cute wtf? but it’s just a button to play an ad so they try it but literally no one actually got an ad (if u got an ad then u just missed phil getting up to check his contact and coming back in 10 seconds and dan saying like ‘hi’ ‘hello’ ‘what’s up’ or some random filler words like that)
  • when they look at the game again there’s a new chef on the screen and it’s a cat and phil is immediately like ‘i want to be the cat chef!!!’ and then dan is like ’speaking of yiff … hello there’ sdfksdflsdf i’m dying @ these actual furries
  • dan then goes on a small tangent about fursuits which was definitely him stating actual opinions about how fursuits should have more colors or like rainbow stripes, and if youre going to make one, why would u go for a cat? it should be fox or wolf or dog. in case anyone wanted dan’s opinions on that. phil looks legit uncomfortable for a fleeting second but they transition onwards quite smoothly
  • they shout out some of phil’s fav comments from the last vid which was cute and phil acknowledges his swear
  • phil: *wants to show the viewers their new fancy mic* dan: ’show me that micussy’ …. that about sums it up folks

real talk though

i think the thing with harry potter - why it’s so loved, why it’s so derided, all by people who grew up reading the books - is just that. a lot of the people on sites like this who are reading it and critiquing it and analysing it are people who were kids reading these books, and grew up reading them. (mostly because we’re a large age demographic on these sorts of social media) i know i was four or five when i read them for the first time; i think they might have been the first novels i read independently like that. and i loved them! of course i did, i was four or five, and already an up-and-coming urban fantasy fan. they were full of magic, and kids who were sort of like me, and i loved them.

of course, i’m not four or five now. and neither are any of the people who grew up with the books when they were released. we’re all in our late teens and twenties, and when we look back, we’re looking back with an adult’s critical eye.

because when you’re nine years old, as i was when half-blood prince came out, or eleven, as i was when deathly hallows was released, the idea of harry going into the cave with dumbledore, or snape’s past with lily, don’t seem all that bad. after all, harry’s sixteen, and that’s way old - and snape’s past totally absolves him of any wrongdoing, right? it’s so romantic

and then we got older, and we read that series we’d loved when we’re kids, but we’re older and more critical. we look at it as adults, and see where it’s lacking. how there’s maybe five people of colour in harry’s year, how the only lgbt+ character was revealed to be so outside the books and it was never mentioned inside them, how messed up it is that harry did all this stuff and lived through so much when he was just a kid. even silly stuff - holes in the worldbuilding, little details that make no sense when you look at them twice.

now i’m twenty one and wondering why dumbledore couldn’t have put more adult wizards on harry’s case to help and protect him; why jk rowling imagines a world that seems to be white and straight and cis in its makeup. because i’m older, i understand these things a little more. and i can critique them, because why not? all media is flawed, in some way or other. 

but at the same time, i’m still that four or five year old reading these books for the first time and imagining myself with harry, ron, and hermione. having magical adventures in a land far more interesting than mine.

and i think that’s what i, personally, got from harry potter. it inspired me to write my own stories, the kind of stories i want to see. and on its flaws and failings, i want to build my own worlds, building on the things that annoyed me about the worldbuilding to make my own thing.

and it’s gonna be flawed, too. in different ways. but if i can make one person feel the way i felt, sitting up past my bedtime devouring philosopher’s stone like a starving person at a banquet, it’ll all be worth it.

tony stark, a certified baby-cuddler

everyone needs more tony and babies in their life, right? have a fic. because tony canonically goes to hospitals and hugs babies who need it. (for mobile users, there’s a read-more after a few paragraphs)


Tony Stark isn’t new to kids, not exactly.

He’s always tried to visit paediatric wards when he had a moment, letting the kids play with the armours and telling them stories. He helped Reed and Sue with babysitting, and he remembers Val’s first attempts at building microprocessors. He held a newborn Danielle Cage in his arms and he marvelled at how tiny she was. He’s always glad to help his baby Avengers with homework.

He likes kids. He might never have his own, and he tells himself he’s made his peace with that, but he likes kids and he likes spending time with them, from babies and toddlers to I’m-not-a-kid-anymore teenagers.

And the moments he spends with kids never get any less special.

Keep reading

summersaltturn  asked:

"Have anyone told you you have the most intimidating nostrils I've ever seen?"

“Yeah, I won an award, junior year,” Derek answers, frowning at his new IKEA (bought and built, all in a soft Henley sweater; Stiles knows, he supervised) book-shelf, like he hasn’t just finished a seven hundred page tome on Egyptian artefacts. A seven hundred page tome on Egyptian artefacts alone.

Derek Hale: epic nerd and assembler of easy-to-build IKEA products. Of course, Stiles thinks, cursing his stupid Professor and DIY kinks. Why not? The worst part is, he doesn’t even think those kinks are sexual. It’s just….a thing. That he has. A Derek thing. The Butterflies That Live In His Stomach were trying so desperately to move on with their lives, too. They’d shopped around. Hired a real-estate agent. They were ready, goddammit!  

Derek settles on a book - Stiles is pretty sure it also has the word ‘artefacts’ in the title - and sighs, all feigned nostalgia, and glances over his shoulder. “It was a golden nose, too. Across the bottom it said,” he pauses, grinning, “Stiles Stilinski needs to get a life.”

Stiles opens his mouth, clutches his chest, because rude much? Is it his fault Derek’s nostrils belong in some kind of anatomy museum? Is it his fault his Saturday nights are spent playing video games in his underwear, when his week days are spent chasing down monsters and researching things like how Scott and Erica managed to contract chicken pox when stabbing them does, like, nothing? (Except get Erica excited because she’s a beautiful, terrifying weirdo.) The moment he tries to tell Derek this, however, a copy of - is that Pride and Prejudice? - is thrown at his head. 

Stiles doesn’t know if he’s more offended when Derek rolls his eyes when it misses him, or the concerned look that crosses his face when the book sails past him and lands in an empty pizza box, like Derek is worried if it’s okay or not. 

And to think, Stiles was going to screw up his courage and finally invite Derek to see a movie this weekend. In an actual theatre. Where people go to be normal. Well, the laugh is on Derek because Stiles is going to buy the big popcorn and he’s going to enjoy it all on his own. 

Yeah, that’ll show him. 

~

“Has anyone ever told you your eyebrows could star in a disturbing kid’s movie about caterpillars?” 

Stiles is drunk. No, he’s wasted. Hammered. Loaded. Completely and utterly shit faced. Which is probably why instead of ending up on his ass on the floor, Derek just pinches the bridge of his nose, tips his head against the back of the couch and says, “what.” Not even a hint of inflection.

This dude, Stiles thinks, and then laughs because, ohmygod, Derek is this dude now. Not that dude or whoa, what are you doing crawling through my window, dude? but this dude. And that’s kind of beautifully heart warming, in its own way. 

Really, Stiles should write into Hallmark. It could be a trilogy. A Gay Trilogy ™. Bisexuals on ice. Except, without the ice because Stiles doesn’t know how to skate. Can Derek skate? Stiles totally bets Derek can skate.   

Speaking of Derek, he’s got this little crinkle on his forehead now, right between his eyebrows, and man, they really are very nice eyebrows. Animated but nice. A little dramatic but nice. Murderous but nice.

“What,” Derek says again, looking more confused than annoyed by the second. Stiles really wants to kiss him.

Instead, he stares. Stares and stares and stares.

Shit.

Slapping a hand over his mouth, he begins laughing uncontrollably and before he knows it, he’s clutching his sides and has his face pressed against Derek’s chest, because the hilarity is killing him. 

Because this is them now. Drinking peach-snaps at Derek’s loft, on a couch filled with throw pillows. Throw pillows. One is even soft and pink and frilly and another has a picture of the pack on it. Granted, no one is looking at the camera but Derek, Boyd and Kira and Derek is not so much looking at the camera as yelling at Stiles (holding the camera) for eating his secret stash of cookies, but it’s nice. It’s a nice picture. There is a plain black pillow too, of course. Somewhere. Stiles might be sitting on it, actually. He figures one can only expect so much when it comes to sour-wolves but Erica glued little cat ears on it last week and Derek said nothing. Fuck, he’d even smiled.

It says a lot about what a secret softie Derek is when it comes to vulnerable, drunk-ass people, because he doesn’t push Stiles away; just lets him laugh and laugh until he passes out, drooling on his chest. 

When Stiles wakes up, Derek’s sweater is pretty soaked through but he hasn’t moved an inch. He does, however, tell Stiles he snores like a deranged goose and that he owes him a pastry later.

He doesn’t even ask for a specific kind, Stiles chastises in his head, falling back to sleep. He’s in love with a pastry idiot. 

~

“Do you know when you smile, you brighten up the whole damn room?”

The question clearly catches Derek off guard because he falls head first…into a duck pond. 

Stiles’ first reaction is to jump in after him - he hates to admit it, but he gets a little nervous around water when Derek is with him; there have been several incidents where he’s unconsciously grabbed Derek’s hand in order to drag him away from pools and, one time, a very large puddle - but when Derek emerges, wearing his someone is about to die face, Stiles can’t be held accountable for the way he falls to the ground because, yup, that’s a tiny, outraged duckling perched on top of Derek’s head.   

“Oh my god,” he yells, rolling onto his back and kicking his legs in the air. He feels like a kid, grabbing his stomach, water practically pouring from his eyes. This was, quite possibly, the best day of his life.

Normally, Derek would be yelling threats - several, in fact, some in Spanish because he’s a show off - but he just stands there….in the middle of a fucking pond. The duckling is still sitting on his head, like he or she plans to set up home there and it’s so adorable Stiles thinks he actually coos out loud.

Still, Derek still doesn’t say anything. Not even when Stiles coos again, very, very deliberately. (And Scott said his middle name could never be Danger, pffft.) Stiles can’t actually guess what Derek is going to do but he doesn’t care. He looks a strange cross between wanting to murder someone - namely, Stiles - and a little kid who was told they couldn’t get a puppy only to get one on Christmas day anyway. 

Mostly, he just looks lost. And wet. Very, very wet. Somewhere out there, someone is playing It’s Raining Men and Stiles wants nothing more than to share this glorious moment with them. He’s just in the process of taking out his phone to at least snap a photo to send to the pack when - 

“Did you mean it?” Derek asks, and man, those water droplets just keep on running, don’t they. 

Stiles grins. “Did I mean for you to fall into a pond and adopt a new feathered friend? No but I think we can all agree-” 

Stiles.” 

Derek growls and it would be effective - at least in getting Stiles to help him out of the pond - if it wasn’t for the fact his ears were turning a little pink. A lot pink, actually and - 

Oh.

Sitting up, Stiles drags his butt over to the edge of the pond.

“Yeah,” he says. “I meant it. I mean, smiles can’t literally light up rooms, I know that, but when you smile it’s like…” He sighs and flaps his arms, suddenly nervous, hitting Derek in the process. The duckling practically glares at him and Stiles briefly wonders if he has competition here. 

Right. Better make this good then. He clears his throat. 

“It’s like, everything just makes sense for a little bit, you know? I look at you and it’s not that smiling is rare for you, at least not anymore, but it’s still pretty thrilling to see it and when you do I’m like, that’s some quality shit right there but then I get confused because it’s like, do I wanna punch it? Kiss it? Pet it? Who knows. Usually it depends on what you’re wearing.” 

Derek blinks and Stiles groans because, yeah, he just said that out loud. In real time. To Mr McGrumpy himself. Who is currently not reacting.

Great.

“Uh, I mean,” he attempts to correct himself but it’s too late. Derek is already slowly pulling him in and pressing his lips to his in what is the single most innocent, chaste kiss of Stiles’ life - because, you know, duckling and head movements - but somehow, it still manages to be perfect. 

“Nice,” Stiles whispers, after, waggling his eyebrows.

Derek snorts and kisses him again.

~

“Turn it off,” Derek whines, nuzzling further into Stiles’ neck. “This is why I leave my phone in the kitchen. Like we discussed.

Stiles tries to swat him, ends up kissing his temple. Sue him, he’s tired. “Says the person who can afford to leave their phone in the kitchen. We don’t all have supernatural hearing, asshole.”

Derek whines again. “You also have the worst taste in ringtones.”

Stiles gasps, suddenly sitting up. Well, he tries to. When your boyfriend is made of muscle and is half lying on top of you, it makes moving a lot more difficult. Not that Stiles is really complaining. Much. “I’ll have you know Bushes of Love is a Star Wars parody classic.”    

Derek rolls his eyes, Stiles can feel it, says, “just answer it, sweetums.” 

“Ugh,” Stiles grimaces, “I already told you I’m sorry for the pet-name thing. It was an accident!”

“Calling me your ‘slutty buddy’ in front of your dad was meant as a pet name?”

“It sounded better in my head!”  

Derek groans and wraps an “exasperated” arm around Stiles’ waist. Oh. So. Exasperated. Stiles grins. “Answer. Your. Phone.” 

Stiles finds his phone on the fifth try.

He has fifteen missed calls, all from Erica. Texts too. Every single one is a link to some article online, followed by a string of heart and eggplant emojis.   

Young Love and the Ugly Duckling’,” Stiles reads, clicking on the link. “Uhhh, Derek?” He prods him. 

What.” 

There’s a picture of us in the online Beacon Gazette,” looking into each other’s eyes, like a pair of love sick fools, Stiles wants to add because, wow, is he really that obvious when he looks at Derek? To be fair though, Derek isn’t much better and he is the one with an angry bird on his head.

He prods Derek again and again until he finally gives in, makes him look at the phone. 

“Huh,” he says, blinking at it. “Fred looks pretty pissed that I’m kissing you.” His face breaks out in a smug grin and Stiles rolls his eyes. Hard. 

“You are aware Fred is a duckling, right?” 

“Yes.” Derek grins harder, showing all his teeth, although his cheeks do colour slightly when he catches Stiles’ eye. 

Stiles sighs, totally not fond. “They couldn’t have come up with a better title, though?” he asks, brandishing his phone. “The Ugly Ducking, really?” 

Yeah,” Derek says, frowning. “I mean, I wouldn’t go as far as to call you ugly.” He laughs and Stiles smacks him across the chest with a loud, “hey!”

They both turn back to look at the picture. 

“We look so stupid,” Stiles whispers, shaking his head and biting his thumb. We fit, he thinks. We look like we fit. 

Leaning in, Derek smiles at him. “We do,” he agrees, burying his face back into the warmth of Stiles’ neck, muttering something about home and content and stupid Star Wars parodies.

Stiles snaps a selfie, captions it goals, and sends it to Erica. 

So @laquilasse and I figured out a way to solve at least a third of Gotham’s problems. Basically, the batfam uses social media. Specifically twitter.

For real, do you know how much time and effort this would save?? People could @ the bats on twitter and say “Help, I’m ____ and ____ is happening,” and it could save a lot of people because they wouldn’t all have to patrol and it could warn of specific things that they could help when there isn’t an Arkham escapee on the loose. Not to mention it could help legally, and give the police something to work with, too. Anyways, so here are some headcanons about the batfam using social media we came up with:

  •  It’s Dick who gets a twitter for Nightwing first. He’s the one who starts it all
    • He goes to a superhero convention in Gotham and he takes selfies with all the Nightwing cosplayers.
    • Later, he posts some on his twitter and says something like, “had so much fun at the convention today!! Y’all were rocking the suits <3” and then everyone in the photo realizes they took a selfie with the actual Nightwing and not some dude with a really realistic costume.
  • Dick shows Jason all the people tweeting at him and explains how it keeps him busy when things aren’t happening out in the open. Jason is immediately on board. Steph is, too.
  • The three of them are pretty much the go to vigilante when it comes to social media.
  • Jason really likes it because it helps him save people in a pinch like domestic abuse.
  • Bruce refuses to get a Twitter for Batman
    • He suspects Damian has one, though.
    • There will be instances where Damian will suddenly be like, “We need to go now,” and Damian leads him to someone in danger. It’s super efficient. He still won’t get a twitter.
    • Bruce Wayne, however, definitely does have a Twitter, and all it’s used for is business and gushing about his kids because he’s an actual dad.
  • As soon as all his siblings get Twitters, Dick tweets out:
    • “good news, gothamites! I’ve convinced the rest of the fam!” and then @’s all of his siblings’ different twitters.
  • Twitter goes crazy.
  • And then people get to witness twitter banter between all of them during the daytime
  • Someone @’s Nightwing and asks “does batman have one?”
    • Dick tweets “nah, he’s too much of an old fart who won’t admit that social media frightens and confuses him”
    • For as tech savvy as Batman is, he can’t figure out how to tweet.
      • Dick tweeting: “Actual thing I just heard in the batcave: ‘what the hell is a retweet?’ [insert a bunch of cry-laughy faces here]”
    • He’s pretending, though, and Dick calls him out on it.
    • Dick: “You tweet as Bruce, though.”
    • Bruce: “That’s different.”
    • Dick: “HOW?”
    • Jason: “It’s cuz he can’t batspeak on twitter. There’s no word for *grunts*”
    • Tim, sleep deprived: “I’m sure if you try hard enough there is. And besides, it’s definitely more of a *does a different grunt*”
  • On top of being great for asking the vigilantes for help, people can tweet and let them know if they see the criminal they’re looking for
  • Not to mention the vigilantes can tweet out and warn people if something bad is going down and if they need to stay away from a certain area
    • “Joker gang headed through 9th and 17th, stay in your homes or duck into a nearby shop. PLEASE stay safe everyone, and if you’re not, please let us know.”
  • Dick also posts pictures of things happening in the Batcave just because.
    • Nightwing posts a picture of Red Robin asleep at the computer with 6 overturned cups of coffee and an open jar of pickles for some reason
    • Caption reads: “sometimes I worry about my little brothers…this is one of those times”
    • Jason: “the fuck is that kid doing with coffee and pickles??? Ew???”
    • Steph: “NOT USING A FORK TO GET THEM OUT, LIKE A FUCKING SAVAGE” because, you know, Steph would totally know.
    • In fact, she took a video of it earlier, and she really wishes that Tim had been wearing his cowl in the video so she could post it as evidence.
    • But fate smiled upon Timothy it seems
    • Except, karma comes back to bite Tim in the ass when he wakes up with marker all over his face, courtesy of Damian (he owed Steph a favor, but he definitely would have done it anyways).
    • Cass drew a pretty rainbow that she’s very proud of, though
  • Speaking of Cass, she’s the one who seems to be one of the most popular on twitter, even though she was one of the last to make an account as a vigilante
  • But yeah. Just. The batfam using social media. It’s a great idea, and I need it implemented. There may be more added to this post

anonymous asked:

Omg I adore all of your writing! For the prompt can you write Bucky bailing Steve out of the b99 holding pen?

Jake MISSED IT. Stupid drug dealers stupidly showing up exactly when they were supposed to instead of blowing off the deal that he had spent stupid months tracking stupidly down. 

He had remembered to set his phone to silent, and once the bust was over he turned it back on and the group chat had 119 notifications, Amy had texted him 3 times, Charles 82 times, and Rosa once. 

So just judging by his lockscreen Jake was pretty sure someone was dead. 

He read Rosa’s first. It would be the most brutal, but bad news coming from her was the most comforting. 

Your boy Captain America got arrested during the protest in Prospect Park, he’s here in holding bc Barnes won’t post bail. Barnes is here. 

“Oh. My. Gawd,” Jake gasped. 

*

“Oh. My. GAWD,” Jake gasped even louder when he got back to the precinct because CAPTAIN AMERICA was still in holding, and Bucky Barnes was in Holt’s office, and the captain–

“He’s been smiling for the past half hour. I almost called Kevin,” Amy said. 

“I’m sure he and Kevin have, like, those lists, of celebrities you get a pass for. I mean, Holt probably had Bucky Barnes on his list like, before we even knew Bucky Barnes was still alive and heyyyyy, Sarge, hi, how’s it goin’?” 

Bucky Barnes was a beautiful man who looked like old ladies everywhere must adore him, and who moved faster than any human Jake had ever seen. He also had really impressive murder eyes for someone who wasn’t, you know. Rosa. 

“Peralta.” 

Jake was saved by a patriotic voice, carried on the wings of an eagle’s…wings.

“–the unions have been incredibly undercut in this modern era, which is a travesty, because when the workers are empowered–”

“Are you fucking turning criminals into socialists?” Bucky Barnes snapped, and Charles, Gina, the eight or nine criminals in holding, and CAPTAIN AMERICA all started. CAPTAIN AMERICA recovered first, but instead of looking like the moral fiber of a country he sort of looked like a pissed off kid wearing a Captain America costume.

“Unions are gutted–”

“Yeah, the union did you a big favor in ‘38.” Bucky Barnes snorted, folding his arms over his chest.

“Collective action is–”

“How long can you keep him?” Barnes asked Holt. 

“Legally, 24 hours, of which only 5 have passed,” Captain Holt said, solicitous. Oh god, Amy was right. Bucky Barnes was ABSOLUTELY on Captain Holt’s free pass list. 

“Jesus Mary and Joseph,” Bucky Barnes muttered. “Alright, I’m posting bail, you won’t get anything done and your criminals will think they can collectively act or something.” 

“I appreciate your civic-mindedness.” 

CAPTAIN AMERICA narrowed his blue, blue eyes at Holt, then dropped them to the firm handshake he and Bucky were having. 

Oh. My. Gawd., Jake realized. CAPTAIN AMERICA and Sarge were wartime sweethearts. 

20 Autobot Leaders Rated by How Much I Want to Punch Them

Starting with the big guy, the granddaddy of them all, G1 Optimus Prime. He’s like a father to me. I can’t in good conscience punch him, even if he sometimes deserves it for bad puns. 1/10 punchability I just can’t do it 

Rodimus Prime ranks high in the punchability for some because when Optimus died in the original movie, it traumatized kids so much that all their negative feelings got channeled into unbridled rage towards the guy who replaced him. However, I hate those guys because they became insufferable as adults, so that really just lowers Roddy’s punchability for me personally. 4/10 punchability he still kind of deserves it though 

Grimlock led the Autobots for a length of time I can’t remember after Optimus died in the Marvel comics. His was a reign of terror. I can’t decide if his jughead crown is kickin or if i want to kick it off him. 7/10 punchability he gets some lenience for his childlike innocence

Another Marvel comics leader was Fortress Maximus, who was also Cerebros. He was also the leader in the Headmasters anime after Rodimus flew off into space forever but I don’t think he actually had a personality in that. He’s a matryoshka of Autobot leaders with each getting smaller and more punchable than the last, ending in Moody College Student Spike Witwicky, who is thankfully the first one on this list who I don’t have to climb something to punch in the face. 9/10 punchability I’m a very short person so I might have to climb something anyways but that isn’t going to stop me

Last Marvel comics character, I swear. Captain Picard Hi-Q binary bonded with Optimus for a while, then Optimus died (this was about the third time), and Hi-Q eventually turned into Optimus so we just considered Optimus alive again. Don’t think too hard about it. 3/10 punchability I really like Star Trek TNG so I probably wouldn’t punch him

Ginrai’s robot self looks exactly like Optimus Prime, but he isn’t. Why he looks like him is sort of hand-waved away in the anime. The real-life reason, of course, is because he was just the Japanese release of Powermaster Optimus Prime. Ginrai is really good because he talks like an American teenager even when his robot form separated from his human self to become the Autobot commander at the end of Super-God Masterforce. 0/10 punchability I just can’t really punch a guy wearing converse, skinny jeans, and suspenders

Star Saber makes me forget that the Autobots were ever good guys. I don’t think he even has a personality outside of “noble and heroic leader.” He adopted a human son and tried to send him to a Catholic school but he doesn’t even buy him a uniform. The kid barely even goes to school in the end. 9/10 punchability don’t adopt a human if you’re not prepared to care for him

Optimus Primal is a good Autobot leader because he never even set out to be anything more than a captain on one ship but ended up sacrificing himself to bring life back to the planet, probably sparking a religious following. He won the “Power of the Primes” vote so he’s got to have a pretty low punchability, but he also looks like his malleble gorilla face would feel nice on my powerful fist. 5/10 punchability when POTP stuff starts coming will his name change to “optimus primal prime”?

Lio Convoy being a cat makes me not want to punch him so much. However, he isn’t a good father. Don’t worry about the kid not really being his son in any sense of the term. Why is ineptitude at fatherhood a recurring theme for Autobot leaders? 8/10 punchability Lio Junior deserved better

I’ll admit that Beast Wars Neo is the only thing on this list that I haven’t seen or read any of, so Big Convoy is mostly here for completion’s sake. Hence I’m rating him entirely on his appearance. Mostly I wouldn’t want to punch a mammoth, because they’re extinct, but I think he could take it. It would be a good workout for both of us. 10/10 punchability no hard feelings, we’re just two dudes lovingly punching each other

In Japan, he’s known as Fire Convoy, continuing their tradition of Autobot leader names, but in the west he’s the first-ever reboot of Optimus Prime. I don’t have a lot of opinions on him as a person or leader, but his existence opened the floodgates of Optimus Primes to come, which I have mixed feelings on. 5/10 punchability I can’t think of a reason to punch him, but I also can’t think of a reason not to

Armada Optimus Prime suffers from being Armada Optimus Prime. I think this was when they really managed to distill “Optimus Prime” down into its truest form. No longer was Optimus Prime a character, but a concept that extended beyond fiction and into our world. Optimus Prime means something. Optimus Prime is a figure for justice, honor, and liberty. 8/10 punchability I still can’t forget Energon though

Do I have to say anything. I’m not even somebody who vehemently dislikes Hot Shot, but for the love of god, why did he ever get to be a leader. 6/10 punchability I’d punch him but I wouldn’t put a lot of force into it, he’s not even worth it

Movie Optimus Prime is. uh. something else, all right. I can admire the movie taking the idea of Optimus Prime and going “okay, but what if he was also a murderbeast?” because I think that’s something we all really wanted to see play out. In practice it kind of scares me. 2/10 punchability I’m worried if I went for his face I’d no longer have mine

Animated Optimus Prime is a good boy. A baby boy. He’s trying his best in a world that seems against him. We all love him. 0/10 punchability I simply can’t bring myself to mar those luscious lips

I’m sure Animated Ultra Magnus did some great things during the war, but, yunno, seeing how Cybertron under him during peacetime is sort of a Stratocracy, I question his fitness to be the leader of a planet. They really gonna let the government run experiments on civilians? Okay. Alright. 4/10 I don’t want to punch him per se but I do sort of want to lead an armed rebellion against him

Hhh. HHHH. HOOGH. HHHAAAHH. HEH. HHhhhHHH. Just seeing Sentinel Prime’s face fills me with anger. If let loose, this rage could level mountains, sink continents, and incinerate entire solar systems. If there is any good in the cosmos, Sentinel Prime will not go unpunched. His face will be shattered into pieces with the sheer power of my unbridled fury. 10,000/10 punchability I have already punched him, spiritually, and I will do it again

I mean, alright. Prime Optimus Prime is kind of the distilled essence of Optimus Prime. If you took all the other Optimus Primes, and took all the things they had in common, and then took out a little bit of the anger because let’s be real here all the other Optimus Primes are quite a bit angrier than this one, you’d get Aligned Optimus Prime. Which is kind of how the Aligned continuity as a whole works. So, yeah, That Sure Is Optimus Prime. 3/10 punchability his soft-spoken words of wisdom would calm me down before I ever even raised my fist

Heatwave is the quintessential non-Optimus Autobot leader. He’s noble and courageous with a good sense of justice, but he was thrust into leadership without being the best and it and is a bit of a hothead. You can use that exact sentence to describe so many of the bots on this list. 4/10 punchability I don’t want to use violent methods when it comes to Rescue Bots but sometimes Heatwave’s personality warrants it 

I honestly can’t believe it took 30 years for a Bumblebee to be leader for reals. It happened so gradually that nobody was surprised when it happened, and yet it also feels like nobody can really accept it. I know I can’t. He doesn’t even look like any Bumblebee. Is this how longtime G1 fans felt when the Unicron trilogy started reusing names for different-but-not-wholly-different characters to keep the trademarks? 8/10 punchability we know you stole your schtick from Hot Rod via Hot Shot so stop trying to act like you’re so special 

daisies

requested by: @heartattackholland 

summaryTom Holland was your best friend growing up, but as his acting career took off–the two of you fell out of touch. However, past feelings for him rise up again as a wedding invitation from him arrives for you in the mail. 

pairings: tom holland x reader

word count: 3.1k

warnings: a lot of angst, a lot of explicit swearing

a/n: this shit y’all–whew–i was FEELIN the angst with this one guys, it was bananas. i loved it. i also tried to incorporate more of his family into it, and also a very made-up side character. enjoy, babes! 


“What do you want to be when you grow up?” you asked, your voice carrying in the sweet summer breeze.

Tom looked up from the flower crown he was weaving together, his brow furrowing in thought. “I don’t know….maybe an actor.”

“An actor?” you smiled, plucking a daisy from the grassy field. “Why?”

“I want to make people smile and make people laugh,” he replied, his hands stilling in his lap. “I want to make people feel things, you know?”

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Snap Decision

(A chance meeting with a stranger at a bar helps you recover from a bad breakup.)

Warnings: 11000+ words of mostly sex stuff.  Bad ex boyfriends. People doing inadvisable things.  Listen up kids: in real life you should be more cautious about who you let take naked pictures of you! Lots and lots of sex.  If you’ve read my stuff before, you know the drill.  


You thought it would be fun to work in sales after you graduated from university; you would travel around the country, meeting new people, holding meetings in fancy high rise office buildings in big cities, wining and dining clients at gourmet restaurants while you closed deals and made boatloads of money.  The reality was that you were selling industrial wastewater management systems, making a moderate income, while traveling four days a week to factories and chemical refineries in some of the least glamorous locations on earth.  You didn’t mind the work itself, but the evenings alone in small town hotel rooms were dull and disheartening, so you would frequently head out to a local movie theater or neighborhood bar to distract yourself from the loneliness on the road.   

 It was pouring down rain outside and you decide to run to the closest place you could find to grab a drink, rather than risk driving around and getting lost.  That’s how you found yourself sitting alone at the bar of the Applebee’s restaurant that was adjacent to your hotel, sipping on something called a Blue Hawaiian, in a town you couldn’t even remember the name of.   

Unruly children sat with their families having dinner in the nearby booths, while innocuously bland pop songs played overhead.  You took one sip of the cloyingly sweet blue cocktail in front of you and immediately regretted your decision to come here tonight. Given the lousy week you had experienced, you would have been better off drinking cheap whiskey at a dive bar filled with unapologetic alcoholics.  Here, the family friendly atmosphere mixed with the empty promises of a fruity cocktail that was designed to trick you into thinking you were on a tropical island vacation instead of in your real life.  Your real crappy life. 

You had totally blown the sale today.  The clients had a million questions about the technical specifications of the products you were trying to sell, but you kept tripping over your words and making yourself sound like an idiot.  You blamed your poor work performance on lack of sleep.  And you blamed the lack of sleep on your boyfriend, David.  Actually, he was your ex-boyfriend now.  After more than a year together, you dumped him for cheating on you.  

He claimed he was faithful, but you were certain he was lying.  He never picked up his phone when you called him from out on the road.  He would eventually call you back, but his stories about where he was and what he was doing always sounded a little off.  The final blow came when your friend Stephanie told you she saw him going into a movie theater with another girl.  David claimed Stephanie was mistaken and that you were just paranoid and jealous for no reason.  You wanted to believe him, but deep down you were sure that Stephanie was right.  All the unresolved questions you had about what David was doing while you were working could easily be answered if he had been cheating on you.  David cried when you told him it was over, he begged you to reconsider, but you were resolute and just walked away.

That had been a week ago, and every day since then, you questioned whether or not you made the right decision.  You had no hard proof that he had been unfaithful.  Sure, Stephanie said she saw him, but she only saw from a distance.  Maybe she was mistaken.  Maybe it was just someone who looked like David.

“Is this seat taken?”

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Pennywise headcannons (fluff)

I’ve been feeling a bit down recently so I figured I’d try and do some fluff ones this time as a way of cheering myself up. I did NSFW ones last time if you wanna check them out. Forgive me if these seem a bit flat. Emotionally the past few days haven’t been the best for me and I feel like that might come off as gloominess in my writing. •Given he’s at least a foot taller than your average human. He would always have to bend down to kiss you. •Sometimes you’d wake up to see a creepy little smiley face drawn into the frost on your window. Meaning he’d dropped by last night to check on you. Just his little way of reminding you he’s always watching out for you.

• On days where you feel nervous or anxious you’d notice a familiar looking off-white and red bird following you around.

•If you’d had a bad day you would head straight to the Neibolt house. You’d always want to be near him when you’re feeling depressed but not really wanting to talk a lot. Hearing you so quiet would worry him and he would always try to make you crack a smile or laugh.

•You’d explain different Halloween traditions to him excitedly because it’s the one day of the year you could go out as a couple in public.  And his first reaction is “So you’re telling me kiddies just walk right up to your door, looking for a scare. Well, thats fucking great. Easy feed right there.”  “Umm, I think you’re missing the point.”

•You’d get a very dramatic eye roll when you did show up on Halloween wearing your best attempt at his costume and makeup with a pile of red balloons.

•sassing him and him glaring at you when you do do that.

•“I can’t believe that stupid fucking kid called my house a crack house”. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry tho, I like your crack house.”

•Both of you sitting on the porch of the Neibolt house when a storm is rolling in. Talking about whatever was on your mind. You’d have your legs splayed out underneath you and an arm outstretched into the rain, enjoying the familiar smell it brings.

•You’d tell him you don’t mind the sewers at all. Its the people up top that scare you more.

•Telling him you want to spend the whole summer with him.

•Carrying one of his little bells around as a good luck charm.

•Doing your best to copy his maniacal clown laugh.

•Because you keep tripping or walking into things down in the dark sewers, you decide to set up some candles down there so you can see better. Pennywise isn’t too impressed now that his liar os scented and has mood lighting.

•Because your starting to spend more and more time down in the Neibolt house with him you end up moving some go your belongings there. Books, cassette tapes, maybe a favorite pillow. You accidentally left your sketchbook there once, only for him to find a few drawings of him inside. You, of course, would be embarrassed. But he would find it endearing and make you beg him to give the book back while he held it above you, just out of your reach.

•He’d pick you up and spin you around at random moments.

•When you were younger you got beat up a lot, Derry isn’t a very open-minded place. You eventually gain the reputation of being the girl you do not fuck with. Even before you knew Pennywise had his eye on you, bad things always seemed to happen to the people who mess with you. It was only later you figured out it was him. Your his precious, little human and no one is allowed to hurt you.

•There was one time on your way home a bunch of girls from school got the jump on you. One of them grabs onto your long hair, yanking it to keep you from running away. The self-proclaimed leader of the group starts kneeing you in the gut, while the rest chant insults at you. You fall to the ground which causes the tension on your scale to only get worst. Out of instinct, you’d try your best to curl up and use your arms to cover your head in order to block some of the blows. Despite your best efforts most of them would still hit their mark. Pennywise would come crawling out of the sewer at lightning speed, fangs fully exposed, causing your attackers to scatter. He managed to grab the girl that was kicking you by her neck, lifting her and making the most inhuman snarling noise. His mouth hanging open, teeth fully splayed and drool flooding past his lips. You’d never seen him look so terrifying. After that, he’d take you straight back down to the sewers. He’d feel bad seeing you sniffling back tears and whipping the blood from your busted lip onto your sleeve. He tries to comfort you by telling you he’d pick them off slowly, one by one so they knew what was coming before hugging you tightly. He wouldn’t let you leave the sewers for the next due to him being overly worried about you.

•He’d really like holding your hand. He thinks its really cute that your hand is so much smaller than his and that he basically wrap your hand up in his.

•If you’re doing something like reading where you sitting still than he’d constantly be sitting you in his lap. Because he’s so much taller than you, he would be able to rest his head on top of yours and just look down at whatever it is you’re doing.

•The first time he saw you cry, he would feel a bit awkward and not really know what to do. Eventually, he gets the hang of it tho. He’d pick you up and pull you on his lap. Wrapping his long arms around your smaller frame, rocking you back and forth and nuzzling his face against the side of yours until you calmed down and started breathing normally again. Pennywise doesn’t have a real physical heart. He would be fascinated by the sound of your heart beating. Similar to how he can smell when someone near him is afraid, he might be able to pick up when someone around him has an erratic, panicked heartbeat ( maybe our adrenaline causes something in him to react ). But he’s never just heard the steady, rhythmic thumping of a regular heartbeat. That small little organ, the thing that he generally eats is the reason you’re his. He would probably try and get either his head or his hand near your chest when you’re asleep so he can feel or hear it beating

My IT Review (May Contain Mild Spoilers)

Trying to record a video was just not going my way, so here is a post about my thoughts on IT. After reading some other people’s reviews, some of my opinions will definitely be in the minority, but it also looks as though many people had some of the same complaints as I did. But overall, IT WAS AMAZING.

PROS

  • It’s scarier than the trailer 
  • For some, IT looked too silly in the trailer and promotional stills, and I promise he makes up for it in the movie
  • The kids are totally motherfucking bad ass, especially during the rock fight scene and the end scene. 
  • Richie, Beverly, and Eddie stole the show. Richie is hilariously funny and had me laughing out loud. Richie and Eddie together are even better. And Beverly punches you right in the goddam gut with her emotional performance. 
  • Finn gets a mother fucking bat scene. 
  • The acting is amazing overall; these kids are so impressive. 
  • Although some things were changed, overall, it did a good job staying true to the book. 
  • No orgy scene for those of you worried, lol.

CONS

  • Although the Derry history was touched upon, I wish there was even more. 
  • The kid’s backstories and upbringings could have been fleshed out a lot more, and because they were limited, it was hard to emotionally connect with the characters, other than Beverly. 
  • Mike’s roll seems very random and awkward. For some reason they changed his entire backstory and his addition to the loser’s was just…out of place. I was highly disappointed in this; he deserved way more screen time as I find him sort of like a default leader if anything happened to Bill. Mike deserved better.
  • Henry and his gang are also just…an awkward addition. I felt there roles were simply added just because they were characters in the book, when in reality, their roles play a much larger part in the book and original TV adaptation. The entire end scene in the sewer is changed from the book and movie; I won’t say how but it for me, it was highly disappointing and they took away important things. Henry’s gang was painted as mere bullies when in the book Henry is much more sinister than that. 
  • Although Eddie’s leper was added, some IT incarnations are not. 
  • SPOILER: There is no “this is battery acid you slime!”, nor is there a dam building scene, nor is there Beverly kicking the boys’ asses with the slingshot. They don’t even bring the silver dollar slug down into the sewer in the end. 
  • I feel the emotional bond between the kids could have been stronger. I also feel like in the book/TV movie, we got the idea that these kids were chosen by fate to defeat IT. I feel like in this version, the burden sort of just…fell in their laps.
  • CGI. I really hated it, but I have a theory, haha. Some things looked too silly and fake to me, but if we are seeing it through a child’s perspective – a child who watches cartoons or reads comics – then what they see will somewhat reflect that. I don’t know if that theory is accurate, but it helps me feel better with all the CGI used on Pennywise. 
  • Literal floating dead kids. *rolls eyes*

Things You Wouldn’t Notice Unless You Read The Book/Saw TV Movie

  • The turtle. I am not 100% sure, but I’m pretty sure the lego set that Bill is holding from Georgie’s room is a turtle. If anyone else can confirm this or correct this, let me know. Also, a turtle is mentioned during the swim scene. 
  • You may see certain IT manifestations during the end scene; they are quick though, so if you blink, you will miss them. (Hint: Mummy)
  • The dead lights are shown, but not explained. 

Awesome Things I Fucking Loved

  • All the 80s throwbacks, especially Nightmare on Elm Street 5, Street Fighter, and New Kids on the Block!!!
  • Finn’s mother fucking bat scene!
  • The end scene is phenomenal and although I was in the theater by myself, I legit threw my arms up in the damn air and cheered like a nerd. 

Gore

  • For those wondering about gore, it’s not that bad. There are disturbing scenes, jump scares, and blood, but nothing that wouldn’t be shown on network cable like Walking Dead or American Horror Story.
  • EDIT: I said no animals die, but there is one on-screen death of a farm animal. Sorry!!!

And lastly,

  • SOME GUY SAW “CHAPTER ONE” AT THE END AND WAS LIKE, “WHATTTT, CHAPTER ONE????, AW HELL NO” LIKE HE DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A SECOND. LIKE IF YOU DON’T KNOW THERE IS A SECOND, YOU DON’T DESERVE IT. (Ok, just kidding, but really dude….omfg.)
#coffee #shop #fluff

Prompts: @imakeaesthetics
Authors: @queenofthyme

Sorry, I’m late,” Harry said as he hurriedly tied on his apron. “I swear it was the tube this - What? What’s wrong?”

Harry took in his boss’s expression and realised he wasn’t in trouble for being late. If anything, it was his boss that looked apologetic.

“I need you to train our new barista,” Tonks said, a weak smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“Of course,” Harry answered automatically. He had trained new staff before. It wasn’t too hard as long as the cafe wasn’t overrun with customers. And it was only a Tuesday. “Are they here yet?”

Tonks jerked an arm behind her and stepped to the side so Harry could see. Leaning on the counter by the cafe’s coffee machine was a tall, blonde-haired man with pointy features and long limbs. He was wearing the standard cafe apron over a three piece suit and a crisp white shirt secured with silver cufflinks. Despite the cups piling up next to the machine left by the register staff, he didn’t appear interested in fulfilling any orders.

“He’s…a little difficult,” Tonks explained, “But he’s my cousin and I promised his mother I’d get him a job. I’ve been trying to teach him but he’s testing my patience. Can you please take him off my hands so I can do some accounting? Please?”

Harry looked the man up and down. The phrase ‘fish out of water’ came to mind…“He doesn’t look like he needs a job.”

“He didn’t. Until last week. His parents were just jailed for fraud and embezzlement. They lost everything.”

Harry supposed he should feel sorry for the man, losing his parents, losing his money all in one go. But when the man stood there, with a snotty, disinterested expression, dressed in the most inappropriate clothes, that a month of Harry’s shifts still wouldn’t cover, it was hard to feel anything but resentment.

He sighed and nodded at Tonks. “I’l teach him,” he agreed.

Tonks actually jumped with relief - making Harry immediately regret his decision - and clapped Harry on the shoulder appreciatively before wasting no time in rushing back into the office in the cafe kitchens.

Harry took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back. He could handle a snotty rich kid. He headed over quickly, conscious of the mounting coffee orders.  

“Hey, I’m Harry,” he said on approach, holding out a hand. The man stared at it, his expression unchanging. “This is the part where you tell me your name and we shake hands,” Harry prompted.

The man’s lip curled. “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy,” he said, still making no move to shake.

Harry lowered his hand, already understanding why Tonks had taken the opportunity to run away when she did. “So, what do you know about coffee?” He asked.

That got a reaction. The man - Draco - pushed off the counter and stood up straight, staring down at Harry pointedly. “I’m not a moron. I know how to make coffee.”

Harry blinked back up at Draco for a moment. He hadn’t noticed from afar how impossibly grey the man’s eyes were.

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