The idea that like people with bpd are inherently manipulative really bothers me. Like I’m upset okay? Me? Personally. That’s why I’m reacting the way I am. My inability to communicate my emotions effectively and therefor hoping my loved ones will pick up on my body language and then feeling neglected bc they don’t is not manipulative. Me self harming or feeling suicidal isn’t abusive because the people who know I need extra care, time or patience to feel stable or secure haven’t been offering that to me. I’m not placing anyone on a pedestal when I split. This is not an active decision. It is an emotional response. An instinct if you will. I do these things to protect myself but it just so happens!! bc of my illness!!! my defense mechanisms are generally ineffective and mostly detrimental to me!! And guess what girl!!! I hate it!!!!! Not a fan!!! And the fact that when I do behave irrationally people often blame me or call me manipulative (if they don’t just abandon me altogether) when I am CONSTANTLY questioning the validity of my emotions does not and never will help!!!!
A/N So this is like the first time I EVER do a fanfiction (It’s a small angsty drabble) I’m really excited with this!Ihope you guys like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! || The following will be supervised by my amazing writer senpais proudtobeaginger -senpai and rivendell101 -Senpai and lonestorm -senpai ! They will be the judges but you guys can say stuff too. Be as brutally honest as possible, I’m ready || KayDPink Productions presents to you: I’m right here (A NaLu One-Shot or drabble or whatever)
“So I was hanging from the
tree and Happy just– Hey, Luce” The boy on the hospital bed called out to her.
She turned slightly as if to tell him he had her attention, when on the
contrary she had never been more distracted by the baby blue wall that seemed
totally out of character considering the hyper-active guy that had to stay in
there for the past two months.
“Luce, you’re not listening
Oh.Right. Two months had
already gone by since then, since that happened. That’s enough time to heal,
right? Then why am I still here?
Why am I still staying here after visiting hours? Why do I still have tolive like this?
“What, Natsu? What do you want?!” She had finally answered. Her golden
locks cascaded down her shoulders, bangs covering her eyes as she hung her
head in shame after realizing what she had just done. Its just she couldn’t do this anymore. She could not watch this happen in front of
her and not be able to do anything.
At that instant the boy knew something was different. The way her eyes
didn’t sparkle, the way she always looked away from him when he spoke, the way
she wasn’t able to be inside when they were running tests on him. It was all
different, he could almost smell it. “Hey, Luce, what’s wrong?” He extended his
arm, his hand for her to take.
But it all changed even more that small instant.
Standing up with such force that made the chair -the one she had slept
on all the nights since that mission- fly back and hit the floor loudly. Lucy
looked up at Natsu, fire in her eyes, as she clenched her fists as if that
would keep her under control. “What’s wrong?! Are you sure you want to ask me
that? Because I can give you whole list. Like, the fact that no one from the
guild has come once to see you, not one-“
“Lucy, wait” He tried once
She just couldn’t take it anymore “Or maybe the fact that you, the Fairy
Tail Dragon Slayer, the son of the mighty Igneel, that THE Natsu Dragneel is
sitting on a hospital bed with needles and who knows what more stuck over his
arms and chest”
“Lucy!” He said more sternly this time, but not like that would work.
“How about the fact that you are f***ing chained to the floor-“
Natsu stood up as quick as lighting –the previously mentioned chains
clanking against the floor and each other- and he took her soft hand in his, pulling
gently to make her move toward him. Lucy looked up at him as they bumped chest with chest and struggled to get out of his hold, as she
had done many times in the past and still not achieving her goal thanks to his strength. “I almost
lost you.” She whispered admitting defeat, her voice no longer being capable of a strong tone and her will destroyed.
He had fought so hard for nothing. He was in a hospital bed because of her,
because of this useless nothing. Yet he still seemed to love her despite
Closing his eyes he dropped his head and nestled it on the crook of her
neck like he had done all those times on the train back home after a mission.
“What is it with you and never listening to me?” He smiled against her skin, his hot breath
grazing only her shoulder but leaving a comforting warmth all over her body.
“I’m right here, Lucy.”
“That monster. END almost took you away from me”
“But he didn’t, Luce. I’m right here, I’ll always be with you, okay?” He raised his head and she noticed
just how much he had grown since last year when he left Natsu towered over her
and held her hands tightly in his grasp.
“I was the one who told them not to come, the guild I mean.” Lucy’s eyes
widened at his statement. He told his own family to stay away? “Why would you-“And
that’s when she noticed.
“Because I’m not Natsu” He let go of her hands, ripping everything on
his body off. Needles, bandages, and casts, everything. Even his chains. His
eyes turned dark red, dripping with darkness. And his distorted voice sounded
like music to her ears. And that disgusted her. “N-Natsu?”
“I told you, END didn’t take Natsu away.” His sharp claws took a hold of
her hips pulling her back to him “I always WAS END” He finished. Lucy gasped in
fear as tears ran down her cheeks.
She had been deceived.
Her screams would have surely
called somebody’s attention and that’s why she wondered why nobody was here
yet. Why did nobody come to save her? “They won’t come, sweetheart. They’re all
dead” At that moment the whole room banished, becoming the once green valley
that how now turned red with fire and blood. The blood of her friends, of her
“Gray! Erza!” Lucy called out to her former teammates, but they wouldn’t
answer. She looked around trying to somehow find her friends. She did find them.
“Oh my God…!” Lucy covered her mouth as dark sobs erupted from her mouth and
suddenly she found herself unable to breathe.
“Do you understand now, human?”
Erza lay in front of her, how she could’ve missed the body she didn’t
understand. Maybe it was the way her hair camouflaged with the blood around
her, the way the bruises all over her body compared to the ashes of the once
bright flowers. Swords, her own, were sunken deep inside her stomach. The
mighty Titania, had fallen.”Erza. Wake up!” The blonde shook her friend’s
corpse trying to somehow sense if there was at least some magic left. Some life
left in her.
“No one will help you!” END shouted, his voice filled with some kind of
sick pleasure. He was having fun. He looked at her, she was slightly tumbled
over the body of her friend, crying and trying to swallow all the destruction
she had just witnessed. He walked towards her and kneeled, making her look up
at him. She had given up. Her eyes had already lost the sparkle earlier that
month but now, oh, now not even her soul was there.
The pink haired demon wrapped his arms around her and for a moment, a
small, just a small moment, she believed all over again, until she felt it. His
claws dug into her back, ripping her flesh apart. She gasped, letting her tears
stop for a moment. She knew it was coming but she didn’t think it would hurt
this much. Why did her chest hurt if his hand was slicing her back? Why did it
feel like her heart fast being ripped out of her chest?
“Don’t worry, Luce” He let go of her, hand wet with her blood dripping
from his claws. He raised his hand to her face and left a small poisonous kiss
on her lips “I’m right here”
Rising to his feet, he raised his hand and licked some of the bloods and
battered flesh on it. “Hmm, pretty good” Then he walked away. Lucy felt her
life leaving her, her spirits themselves trying to somehow keep her magic up,
to keep her alive. But it all failed. Only one thing left to do.
“I love you”
The demon stopped in his tracks, laughter ending along with his
movement. And for the last time Lucy saw Natsu –not END- look back at her with
eyes pleading to save him. He knew what he had become, and just for that
splitting second he understood what Lucy had told him. And he became Natsu
again for that moment, but it was a moment too late. As Lucy let out her dying
breath, her soul was frees with only a scream of pain from her beloved as her
lullaby for the rest of her never-ending sleep.
If you're still lookin for fix prompts, maybe something with yoonmin and sign language? Dunno why, that's been on my mind lately...
I know you sent this like 80 years ago but I’ve been (really slowly) working on it for a while and it’s kind of a huge piece of shit but… the best I can do for ya right now!
rating: pg-13 pairing: yoonmin word count: like 2500 warnings: mute!yoongi, bad writing, unedited
Hoseok asks first, if Yoongi minds if he brings the new kid from his dance studio to hang out with them, and Yoongi does.
He minds a lot. There’s a long list of things he’d rather do than meet Hoseok’s new friend, for example, listen to Namjoon talk about the likelihood of an afterlife for three days straight or perhaps the entirety of the new Falling in… something album that Jungkook is, for god knows what reason, obsessed with. But, Hoseok’s grinning so fucking wide and he’s tapping Yoongi’s knee excitedly waiting for the answer, and he finds it impossible to do anything but scowl and nod his assent.
It’s not that he thinks there’s going to be anything bad about the guy. He has full, if not a little misguided, trust in Hoseok’s taste. He just hates having to translate.
hey guys!! ignore the shitty banner i’m finally out of exam hiatus so i decided to do something i’ve never done before to celebrate! and to also appreciate all the lovely blogs i follow!! honestly thank you all so much for making my dash beautiful ily
mutuals are bolded, favs are italicized but honestly i love you all
I made a gif today…. i couldn’t figure out how to do it on my fancy camera so I just filmed it with my iphone. I apologies for the shitty quality and super weird angle. I promise ill get better at this.