I’m feeling so much pain for my trans siblings and fellow females right now
Today I saw a post that really set me off, it was something along the lines of
“Trans men/masc ppl love to mis/degender themselves to discuss misogyny and to gain access to women’s spaces / time / resources / bodies and that’s fucked up” then obviously the discourse descends into the “trans men are our privileged oppressors, they’re so entitled, stop talking over us you assholes” and all that crap. If you don’t think this is complete crap I’m going to deconstruct it for you and explain some of my own experiences with this line of ~reasoning.
1) First of all, the absence of femininity and the performance that’s expected to come with femaleness does not make someone “masculine”. Trans masc ppl, in my experience, are females who’re trying to distance themselves from misogyny and femininity. How in the fuck are you gonna tell me that a gender non conforming female who doesn’t even pass as a man (usually) is “misgendering” themselves by referring to themselves as female? I’ve even seen ppl discuss this like “Today i was read as a cis women and X happened to me and that’s misogyny” and then get shouted down for ~speaking over transwomen, the ultimate arbiters of misogyny dontcha know?
2) Even if a trans guy passes and doesn’t experience day to day interactions while being perceived as a female, transwomen will be the first ones to shut down any repro justice debate for being exclusive of transmen. Gender non conforming females and trans men need just as much access to birth control, pap smears, abortion, natal care, etc as any other female, (probably more if they’re on T tbh) BUT Drs have no fucking clue what to do with us, we’re educating them, walking into things uninformed, receiving sub par medical care all while these same Drs are cutting into us. Statistically, gender non conforming females have no voice when it comes to this topic and receive the worst medical care so don’t you dare call us entitled for wanting some fucking respect when no one explained to us that we’re experiencing vaginal atrophy or when we can’t go see our gynos for routine checks bc if you’re not having sex with a man they don’t have any business with you or if they make the whole ordeal so unbearable for so many of us that we never go back when we need to.
3) No trans man ever ~demanded the energy and time of women for anything didn’t effect other females. When talk about our experiences of misogyny, you better fucking believe that theres another female out there listening thinking, “OMG I’m not alone, I really thought I was just imagining it” because what else are we supposed to think after living in a patriarchal society that dismisses our feelings and experiences so often? The amount of females from the trans community who’ve experienced sexual violence, esp at the hands of trans males, is STAGGERING but I only ever heard about it from others after leaving the community because females in the trans community are silenced by everyone so we can all listen to what transwomen have to say, the same transwomen who are abusing females behind closed doors in my experience.
4) I’ve NEVER seen a trans dude ~demanding access to women’s bodies. If you mean labeling our bodies as females like… wtf our bodies are female, our uterus functions just as any others females does and that word has a meaning…? If you mean leading a vicious horde to attack a women’s who said she didn’t wanna sleep with one of us because our anatomy, body etc wasn’t attractive to her, I have NEVER seen a trans female doing that, even though we all see transwomen doing that crap all the time.
5) If you think it’d fucked up for you to have to listen to someone unfeminine talk about their experiences of mysogyny, how the fuck do you think it feels to constantly be told that your feelings don’t matter by the community you thought understood you? We come to the trans community thinking we’ve found a safe home only to be told that what we’ve experienced doesn’t matter and in fact that it’s proof of our privilege, that what we’re feeling is wrong and that we should be ashamed for not bowing down to the males we ~oppress ( who hurt us), to be attacked and alienated by the ppl we felt safe around when we speak up about being hurt only to have them back our abusers, to be attacked for asking questions; THAT is some fucked up shit.
Also some bearded gamer sex and anime obsessed dudebro telling women to kill themselves bc they’re not respecting “her” pronouns, is totally not at all fucked up either
6) Lastly, I’d like to talk about how this is all just a silencing tactic. If non trans women and trans females were allowed to really talk about our experiences of misogyny it would show that the misogyny of transwomen is a farce. If we were allowed to question their logic from our opposite perspective, it would be obvious that their ideology makes no sense when they don’t have answers. Instead we’re told from day one that anyone who questions is harmful until our brainwashing of transwomen = female and all that crap sinks in THEN when the questions are asked, they don’t make any sense and all we know is to spew our radikweer crap.
This last point is what really set me off today because the person I saw make a post like this was themselves a genderqueer female. They’re hurting their fellow trans siblings, they’re hurting their fellow females, they’re doing what they think is right on behalf of those who would hurt them and they don’t know it because they’ve been taught not to listen.
I’m crying again. I just want you all to be protected and to be free. I love you all so much.
ps sorry if this is kinda rambling, I’m very emotional