i probably could sing every album in the correct order of songs

(TRANS) 10asia Magazine - 10 + Star BTS Interview

Unknowingly it’s already been two years since they debut. Telling the tale of teenagers’ dreams, happiness and love, wanting to play their own lovers, and giving out a warning to not test their feelings. Last June, they debuted in the music industry as Bangtan Boys with a hip hop style. They use their unique style that differentiates themselves from other idols to become an idol group that cannot and will not be replaced. This August they released their first full-length album ‘Dark & Wild,’ demonstrating the thoughts and troubles of those in their 10’s and 20’s. They are showing Bangtan Boys’ transition as youths to real men. They once again raised the bar for rap and vocal talent, and once again proved their outstanding musical talents. People are starting to notice and look forward to the 7-member group Bangtan Boys that is comprised of Rap Monster, Suga, Jin, J-Hope, Jimin, V, and Jungkook. Exactly how much growth 'seeds’ is hidden behind the 'Sonyeon’ in their names? Besides, everyone also wishes to know how long this seed that blooms dazzling flowers will go through a period of 'red-hot’ time?

Q: I heard that in order to plan the choreography of 'Danger’ of your first full- length album Dark & Wild, you had to practice over 16 hours each day. Can you really do that?
Jimin: I feel that it’s hard to do if it’s that many hours in a day. Hahaha, but we try our best to practice for a longer time.

Jin: When we have schedules overseas, we will use the practice rooms there. In Korea we also keep up with practicing regularly.

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‘Giorgio by Moroder’ is a story told twice. [Analysis]

Today is Giorgio Moroder’s birthday. He was born on the 26th of April, 1940.

“… When I was fifteen, sixteen, when I really started to play the guitar, I definitely wanted to become a musician. It was almost impossible because the dream was so big; I didn’t see any chance because I was living in a little town, was studying…”

He grew up in Urtijëi/St. Ulrich, South Tyrol. In art, music and literature, the phrase ‘living in a little town’ tends to mean ‘living away from opportunities’ or ’being unable to make it big’. This was definitely the case for a while; but for him, it’s true in a literal sense, too. Urtijëi is a genuinely small town with less than five thousand inhabitants.

“And when I finally broke away from school and became a musician, I thought: ‘Well, now I may have a little bit of a chance.’ Because all I really wanted to do is music, and not only play music, but compose music.”

I’m writing this in 2015; he is seventy-five years old today. Thirty years ago was when he released his last album. He’s releasing another in a couple of months, and in the meantime has had countless collaborations, productions and only several different eras of disco/electronic music to be thankful for under his belt. He’s been a very busy man, to say the least.

“At that time, in Germany, in ‘69-'70, they had already discothèques. So I would take my car, would go to a discothèque and sing… maybe, thirty minutes. I think I had about seven, eight songs. I would partially sleep in the car… because I didn’t want to drive home, and that helped me for about almost two years to survive in the beginning.”

This post isn’t so much a lesson on Giorgio Moroder, what his life was like, how his music was crafted, or even about Daft Punk in particular. It’s rather a collection of my thoughts as I listen and reflect: this song was chosen because it’s about Giorgio, it celebrates him in ways that beyond simply including him in a collaboration - he’s had a lot of that already. But ‘Giorgio by Moroder’ is more than that. He tells his own tale; DP retells it in a completely different dimension, and throughout the rest of Random Access Memories keeps on paying homage to it. Giorgio’s presence was melded into this song and that album - he’s everywhere but nowhere, unless one listens carefully.

I like that. Very meta. I guess I’ve heard people saying this song is boring too many times - one notable comment that I remember is that the second half is like ‘Kraftwerk with an old man rambling over Travis Barker on the drums’ - and that isn’t the case for me at all! I might as well explain my feelings and the rationale for why I think that (though I must state that I bring nothing new to the table), and I might as well do it today.

“I wanted to do an album with the sound of the '50s, the sound of the '60s, of the '70s and then have a sound of the future. And I said, ‘Wait a second…I know the synthesizer - why don’t I use the synthesizer, which is the sound of the future?’”

It’s a very playful song, for one. There are many callbacks to Giorgio’s own pieces and techniques - I would say that ‘Chase’ is a major influence in ‘Giorgio by Moroder’, and DP definitely are aware of (and have covered!) that song in live performances. Donna Summer’s ‘I Need Love’ is probably another re: the use of synth. There are some motifs that are started in his narration and carried on throughout the album, like this:

“And I didn’t have any idea what to do, but I knew I needed a click, so we put a click, on the twenty-four track…”

*click, click, click, click, click-* [1:36 mins]

The moment when the metronome clicks were brought in, and when it transitioned out of them, was when I was sold on Random Access Memories proper. It isn’t just a small wink-and-nod to what he said. Much later this exact click rhythm, sped up a little, forms the backbone of ‘Doin’ It Right’. 

“… which then was synched to the Moog Modular. I knew that could be a sound of the future - but I didn’t realise how much the impact would be.”

And neither did I realize, at first listen, how beautifully this would be demonstrated in one perfectly condensed nine-minute package.

“… My name is Giovanni Giorgio, but everybody calls me - Giorgio.”

The era of EDM began.

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048. 5SOS: Taylor Swifting

These are kind of cheesy. I think. I don’t know what I think actually. Let me know. Links to the songs under each preference. i’m worried these suck.


It was supposed to be your big break, co-writing songs for the sophomore 5 Seconds of Summer album. You hadn’t expected anything out of except for open doors and a nice paycheck, but taking up with their drummer had never even entered your mind. You were going to be a professsional, well that was the plan before all the margaritas and he put a little truth behind the expression ‘drummers do it better’. The whole thing happened quickly, but it had felt delicious every step of the way. You spent your mornings in the studio, Ashton’s arms around your waist and head peering over your shoulder as you tried to play guitar through his humming against your throat. The nights were even better with your hand in his, cool breeze coming through the window as you two used each other’s hot breath as blankets over your naked bodies. It was perfect…until it wasn’t.

You were finished and supposed to be going to Toronto to work with an upcoming duo, their album missing that one stand-out track. Crouched over by the balcony window, you were folding your clothes into the suit case while Ashton was sipping tea with one hand and scrolling through messages on his phone in the other, lying shirtless on top of your hotel bed and feeling comfortable.

“I’ll call you when I land, okay?” As you closed the lid of your black lugagge, you mentioned mindlessly, expecting his always motoring mouth to happily accept your words. Instead you were greeted with surprising silence. Turning over your shoulder, checking if, maybe, he was pre-occupied you saw Ashton staring back at you with owl eyes. “What?” He had never greeted you this way before and it sent shivers up your spine, not the good kind.       

“We’ve had fun. You’re the coolest girl…” He started, the words sounding as if he had been practicing them. They were comfortable in his mouth, but they made your skin crawl as you turned to face him completely, arms crossed to protect yourself from impending heartache. Ashton sighed as he watched your body shift, your tension obvious to his sunken in eyes, “Come on, don’t make that face…” He sat up, putting both his tea and phone down on the night stand. He slid off the bed with ease and walked over to you with his arms open, but you stepped back and kept your own crossed. “I just don’t want to do a long distance thing. My life is too hectic for it, I can’t keep the kind of promises that it requires, and to be honest, I just thought we were having fun…”

Like broken glass, you chewed on his words and poked the end of your tongue to one cheek, holding yourself firmly in front of him as he tried to get a read of what was going through your mind. The two of you were song writers, communicating was supposed to come naturally to you both, but you were speechless. He had taken your words from you and that was probably what upset you the most as you stood in the corner of the room that felt like it was closing in on you.

“Okay, well then I won’t call you when I land.” Raising your brows at him, you harshly replied and reached down for your bag, standing it up to roll it away behind you.

“We’re still friends!” Desperately, Ashton croaked, shaking his palms out.

“Actually, I don’t fuck my friends. I’m just weird like that, I guess.” Shrugging, you strolled by him with your bag loudly following as you went for the door. “You should probably go back to your room.” You mentioned since he wasn’t even staying in the hotel, just in your bed. You kept it together as you could hear Ashton following you, popping his head out the door as you kept a steady pace through the hallway. It wasn’t until you were tucked away in the elevator that you started to cry, eyes down on the floral carpet beneath your sneakers, the same pair that Ashton always said he liked.

Something about knowing you probably wouldn’t see Ashton again helped you to move on. It allowed you to express yourself creatively while in Canada, writing songs about him without even trying to. You recorded demos of six songs in one sitting, sending them from your laptop in a hotel room straight to your agent who couldn’t help themselves, but to send them to every client in their roster. When John Feldman heard all six, he knew he wanted you for one more track, just another afternoon of writing with his beloved boys. If it had been up to you, you would have graciously declined via e-mail, but your agent had your flight booked for London before even running it by you. She was oblivious to the romantic drama that had prompted you to write such beautiful songs in the first place.

In front of the piano, you kept your back to the boys and went through the song that John had specificially liked. They all had copies of the lyrics, Luke’s page covered in ink marks to changes that he wanted to make while Ashton’s was crinkled completely from scrunching it up, throwing it out, and then taking it out again.

“This is about me!” He shouted before you had even begun to sing, your fingers stopping clumsily over the white keys. “You wrote this like you were me, from my perspective, and…and I don’t like it!” He shouted, ignoring Calum telling to chill from the other couch. The bassist actually really liked the song and wanted it to do everything he could in order to give it more of a 5SOS sound. “No, what is this shit?” The drummer gripped the page between his tight fingers and read the lines that he specifically felt hurt by, “Why is my heart so hollow? Why are my dreams so shallow? Seriously!? … Maybe I’ll grow up and be good someday, what the fuck does that mean, [Y/N]?”

You had your legs spun around and kicked off the end of the bench, watching Ashton throw a temper tantrum by the door with bored eyes. It wasn’t as if you had orchastrated the whole thing. If he was offended, you considered that to be his fault since he had inspired every lyric by simply being himself.

“Sometimes I smell the perfume that she was wearing that day!” He shouted a line from the second verse at the ceiling. “I texted you that in confidence!”

“You texted it to me out of drunkeness.” Simply, you corrected, recalling how he told you he was haunted by the lilac fragarence you wore when leaving him for Canada, saying goodbye in the Earl’s Court hotelroom.

“This is such fucking bullshit! I am not singing this song!”

“Well, you don’t have to. Calum wants the lead.” John piped up, rocking back and forth in the comfortable office chair with his hands loosely folded over his stomach.

“And I didn’t write much room for percussion anyway.” You said before reaching behind your back to tap on the middle C, eager to start writing and get the whole thing over with.

“This is such fucking bullshit!” Ashton shouted again, crinkling up his sheet of lyrics and throwing it towards the wastecan by the piano, missing and letting it roll to your feet.

“Well, I see where the line, 'Why don’t I ever have anything nice to say?’, came from…” Through his nostrils, Michael snorted in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, but all he earned was a death glare from Ashton. He swore he felt red laser beams glowing from his friend’s eyes and attacking him.

As you turned to start playing the song over again, you were shaken by the sound of a door slamming, Ashton having fled the room to throw himself a pity party for one in the hallway.

Smart in A Stupid Way here


It had been completely private between the two of you. Well, Calum had confided in his sister everything that led up to the break up that seemed to be impending from the moment you two agreed to give being together a try. He was about to travel the world alongside the world’s hottest boy band, opening for them in arenas all over the globe, and you were still just the girl in tattered knee high boots playing songs on her guitar at open mic nights downtown. There were warning signs flashing red in your head every time you were alone with Calum, head on his chest in the basement, listening to his excited babbles about all the different places he was about to go see, all the fans he hoped to meet, and all the opportunities for the band. It seemed clear to you that you two weren’t going to have a fair shot, but he believed himself when he said that everything would work out, so you tried to too.

Of course, you had been correct. Three months in, after only two visits, Calum called it quits during a Skype conversation where the distance was more evident than ever before. He had his fingers raked in his brown hair, hunched over the laptop that rested on his lap while he sat up in his bunk, and softly grumbled out the truth with strong reluctance. He didn’t want to break your heart, but he was too caught up in all the new changes and chances in his life to hold onto something left behind. He wouldn’t admit it, but having a girlfriend felt like an anchor now because he wanted to be loyal to you, but he wanted to take in the world of opportunities he was being given all at once suddenly. It was as he was telling you that he wanted out and apologizing that lyrics flooded your mind: I can’t have you…like you have me. I can’t steal you…like you stole me…

Staring down at your lap, the sunrise through the window washing over you as if to highlight the surfacing tears in your tired eyes, you nodded along with Calum’s words. He asked if you were upset, but you only shook your head in place of saying 'no’. You weren’t exactly thrilled, but you didn’t want to speak because you didn’t want to break down in front of him. He always liked that you kept things so drama free and were laidback about everything. Besides, if you spoke, you worried you would lose the melody writing itself in your head.

“You don’t want to say anything?” Frowning at your silence, Calum asked confused. He hadn’t ever broken up with a girl before, not one that was more than fingering in a humid basement or sticky notes passed in classrooms. He wasn’t sure how it was supposed to go, but he hadn’t expected your end to be so docile and accepting. He could see how upset you were and it was frustrating to him that you were lying as if he wasn’t you hold it together by a thread through the screen.

I want you in my life.

You almost said it, but swallowed the words and let them stay in your head along with everything else that you wanted to write down. It felt better to put your feelings on paper than it did screaming them out loud, always had.

“No. Not really. ” Instead you responded, looking around the screen for the small 'x’ to click in order to close the chat box. Your eyes rolled up and down, taking in every corner, but never making contact with the webcam. “Have fun in Montreal. Maybe, I’ll see you when you’re back.” Shrugging, you clicked the 'x’ and made Calum disappear before he could say your name or you could really start to cry, hurt and feeling like an idiot.

It became the fastest song you ever wrote. A total of twelve minutes until you had your fingers routinely going over the chords and the all your words down on a scrap piece of paper that had been sitting in the bin between your bed and night table. While you weren’t sure if you even liked it, you were happy to have it out of your body and in musical form. It couldn’t hurt you there, you owned it finally.

Two months passed before you ever added the song, 'You’, to your set list. Without much real information on you, it seemed 5SOS fans already had spun stories about your relationship with Calum through Twitter and you didn’t want to add any fuel to their false fire. Plus, you just weren’t sure you were ready to put that part of your heart out there in front of a crowd (even if it was a small amount of people compared to the sea of screaming girls that Calum played for almost nightly now). Calum was blowing up though along with the band, growing every day in popularity, and you couldn’t escape his name or face. He was showing up in magazines now, in constant conversation, and all over the Internet. So, it felt like the right time for you to take the song to stage, choosing the Friday night slot at Jimmy & Joe’s to give it it’s big debut, a quiet coffeehouse setting where your friends, also talented musicians, liked to come jam during the summer. Calum had come plenty of times when you two were simply just friends, holding hands and flirting when either of you worked up enough courage to do so.

“So this is a song I wrote a while ago and I never have played it…” Nervously, you talked into the mic while squinting down at your hands fiddling with the nobs at the end of your Taylor acoustic, the only guitar you owned. “I guess if anyone else has felt alone in a break up…you might get it.” Mindlessly, you mumbled, thinking of Calum as you looked out and spotted the table at the back where he used to sit and watch you, smiling with a mixture of pride and coyness on his face with his legs parted under the table. “It’s called 'You’… well, that’s what i’m calling it right now.” In an effort to make you stop talking, your nerves obvious, your friend behind the drums gently began to tap on his high hat to count you in.

Between your fingers, you felt active therapy. Out of your mouth, there was a sigh of relief after the first few lines. It was a strange pain in your stomach as you knew that by getting the song out into the universe, you were going to feel better, you were going to move on. Once the song ended, you were smiling from ear to ear with all your teeth on display. You weren’t sure you had smiled that wide since the last time you saw Calum, his arms around your neck as he greeted you in the lobby of the hotel, nuzzling his face into your neck as he whispered 'hello beautiful’ against your skin.

You were sitting back in the spot where you always liked to be, feeling okay being in the same chair that Calum had always occupied. It was going to be okay. So you took the video of your song that your best friend had filmed and uploaded it to your Twitter account.

It wasn’t until you came home that you saw that your video had been viewed over five thousand times. All it took was Calum tweeting out the link along with a sweet message.

Before laying down your head on your pillow, one that seemed permanently stained from mascara tears over Calum, that you felt like things could possibly be okay. Maybe you and Calum could become friends again and maybe he hadn’t just moved on from you as quickly as you felt he might have…and maybe your music would make a better boyfriend for now anyway.

Listen to 'You’ Here


“Don’t think about Luke, don’t think about Luke, don’t think about Luke….” Along with your shaking knees, you sat at the edge of the couch in the green room, backstage at Late Night with Seth Meyers, your first live show after two years of what felt like nonstop hustling with your music. You finally had a single released and while it wasn’t the one you would have chosen, you had been excited to perform 'Worn Me Down’ up until an hour ago when you were trying to apply your fake eyelashes in the mirror and your best friend and drummer brought up the boy who inspired the song out of nowhere.

“He’s going to know it’s about him, you know?” Tapping his knees and bopping his head along to the song that played in his head, he looked over to you with his back pressed to the the vanity you were pushing your waist into, watching as you tried not to get glue in your eye.

“I doubt he will even tune in.” You mumbled, knowing exactly who he was talking about. He was the one who introduced you to Luke after all as he had been helping John Feldman with 5 Seconds of Summer’s album while also working with you on different songs as soon as you were signed to an indie label after playing the New York and LA circuit continuously. “We haven’t talked since…well since your party.”

“You mean the night that you screamed the title of this song at him?” He laughed, stroking the stubble around his jaw line.

While you were too busy with your own budding career to give your brief fling with Luke Hemmings too much thought, the memory of breaking up with him was as clear in your mind as your mark on the NBC set you were getting ready to walk on to. He had called you his exgirlfriend’s name again, but this time it was in front of a room full of people with his hand resting right above your ass. He hadn’t even caught himself or the way he smiled when her name spilled out of his mouth without effort. Ashton had had to correct him, his eyes indulging in major secondhand embarassment for you as he watched your cheeks hollow and own eyes fill with disappointment. Luke had been insistant that you two get together, but everyone, even his mother, warned you that he was still reeling from his previous girlfriend, but Luke swore up and down, almost pulling his blond locks out about it, that he was totally over her. You caught him creeping her instagram page, you knew he texted her regularly, and up to that party, standing there in the living room with him, he called you her name a total of eight times.

“I didn’t mean to.” Sounding annoyed before you even opened your mouth, Luke said as he followed you out of the living room and upstairs. You had excused yourself just to sneak away and compose yourself in the main room where everyone had left their coats on the bed, but Luke took it as an invitation. “It was an accident. I’m sorry.” He knew that he had slipped up one too many times now. It was going to take more than sweet kisses, breakfast in bed, and going down on you to earn forgiveness this time. At least the other times he called you her name, it had been in private, casually while watching television or asking you to pass the salt in the kitchen, but everyone heard this time - everyone who warned you.

“Do you even care about me?” Sighing, you asked only after collecting your thoughts. You turned to grip the dresser drawers behind you, watching Luke stand right underneath the lamplight, burning red beneath it as he paused for a moment too long. “There’s my answer, I guess.” You pushed off of the furniture to move to the bed, hands instantly looking for your red jean jacket underneath the pile of different outerwear.

“Hey, no, wait.” Luke shuffled over just as quickly, his shoes squeaking against the hardwood floors as he picked up your hands and pushed the coat out of your curled fingers, letting it rejoin the pile. “Of course, I care about you.” He shoved out of his mouth, blue eyes shut tight as he confessed.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Looking right up at him, jaw tense to keep your eyes narrow on him, you asked and actually expected an answer. You wanted truth, not just what he wanted to be the truth, but actual honest to God truth.

“It just came out. It was an accident.” Sighing, he shrugged in response, your hands turning cold in his clammy grip.

“And the other seven times?”

His lip ring pushed out as he bit down on the other corner of his mouth, “Don’t overreact, come on…” Luke mumbled. It hurt to stare at him because you could tell, judging by the way his eyes were enveloping you whole, that he was genuinely 'sorry’, but that didn’t change the truth of the matter which was that his mind was elsewhere when he was with you. He cared about you, but he just wasn’t ready to be with someone else. He knew it wasn’t fair to keep you, but he wanted you so badly and he wanted to be moved on just as much. “Let’s go back downstairs. Let’s go have fun.” He shook your hands in his, knees bent as he bounced on them and laughed the whole thing off. Luke would do anything to not deal with his own mistakes, especially this one that he just kept making over and over again at the expense of your heart.

“I’m worn out.” Pulling one hand out of his, you held it up like a stop sign and shook your head. “I’m worn down. You’ve worn me down. I’m not playing your girlfriend anymore so that you can feel moved on or appear to be. I’m not your prop anymore.” It felt overdo, but you finally had reached the finish line for yourself and as you ripped your other hand from his sweaty palm, you could see Luke start to understand the weight of his slip ups.

“You’re not a prop…” He leaned against the bed post and whined. “You’re not…I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just…I do want you, but she…she was…” He was struggling, so you put him out of his misery by reaching for his black leather jacket and giving it to him, stuffing it into his chest.

“One of us has to go. Her, me, or you.” You were already pulling your arms, one by one, through the sleeves of your lightweight denim coat, watching as wheels turned like molasses in Luke’s brain. For a smart boy, he could be so dumb sometimes.

“Don’t make me choose, you know that I care about you.”

“I don’t actually.” Raising your brows to him, you started to walk by, brushing his hand off of your wrist as he reached for you again. You put your hand into the tight pocket of your jacket, pulling out your phone to call a cab as Luke watched you leave him behind in the bright bedroom, making it dim as you exited with proud strides.

The pre-orders for the song went through the roof before the credits for the show were even rolling, Seth Meyers still standing beside you and wishing the television viewers a good night as you were grinning, high as a kite off of performing, behind the microphone and waving to the studuo audience with trembling fingers. By the time, you were in the van to go back to the hotel, the orders had tripled.

“How do you feel?” Your manager asked, looking into the backseat from where she was planted in the passanger seat, BlackBerry buzzing on her lap.

“On fire.” Laughing, you stared out the window as the building faded into a small dot on the street in the background. “I want to do it again.” Internally, there was a party going on and you could feel the confetti cannons releasing load after load of excitement and joy off inside of you. Your phone couldn’t keep up with the text messages from family and friends, congratulating you and commenting on how great you had just been on TV, but one text stood out as you were trying to answer them all sincerely. Luke’s name was bolded on your screen for the first time since you walked out on him. You gulped and wondered if you should even read it since you weren’t interested in coming down from your high any time soon.

Holding your breath, you read his messages and wondered where he was in the world right at that moment. It was the second your whole life was changing and you were still thinking about Luke the way he had thought about his ex when with you. You wondered where he was while your life was exploding like a firework because a small part of you wish he was right beside you. However, it was nice to know that he had tuned in. Somehow, in his own way, he was there.

Slowly, you responded, finally ready to draw a line in the sand and put the past behind you both even if you were going to be singing a song about how he wore you down for the next few years consistently.

Worn Me Down here


5 Seconds of Summer might have been on fire. They were on every radio station, breaking down the internet, and all over the news, but they were still green to the entertainment industry. You had grown up beneath the limelight, practically having been baptisized with it shining down on you, and you weren’t going to let a public breakup with Michael Clifford slow down your year that was projected to be one of your most successful yet. You had taken home two Grammy’s, you were being called one of Barbara Walter’s most fascinating people of 2014, and Angelina Jolie had mentioned in an interview that she really liked your music and couldn’t wait for your latest album. While you were still dealing with the open wounds that Michael had left you with from the loud break up on the rooftop of a Vegas hotel, but you were confident that you would be okay. You weren’t just going to survive, you were going to win the breakup.

The plan was to leave Michael out of all interviews. Your management team forbade any journalist to ask you about anything that had to do with the green haired musician. You were going to be rebranded so perfectly that nobody would ever remember your sweet romance with the punk guitarist, but when Michael wouldn’t stop drunk texting you, you took matters into your own hand. The album was slated to be released in three weeks when you privately took time out of your press tour to write and record with your good friend, Katy Perry, a track that would sound like a big 'fuck you’ to all lousy exboyfriends everywhere.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Watching you being sewn into a pair of leather pants, your assistant asked from the corner of the dressing room, a worried expression owning her small face, but you smiled at her through the mirror and held up a thumb’s up. It was against the plan completely, but you felt sort of excited to put everything out there in the public. This was your second performance on Good Morning America, but this one would get people talking and that filled you with ecstatic butterflies.

“I’m really excited about this being the first single.” You shared with her and the stylist in the room who was paying better attention to not swallowing the sewing needle between her clenched teeth. “And if it embarasses Michael enough to get him stop texting me, even better.” Giggling, you shrugged before stepping away from the stylist on her knees and the mirror, turning to nod at your assistant kindly. “I know what I’m doing, don’t worry.” She was always worried about you though and you were certain that was why you two made a good team. She wouldn’t let you make a mess of yourself in front of the world, she had your back for better or for worse.

As you started to leave the room, security waiting outside the dressing room for you, you held a water bottle in one hand and checked your micpack with the other hand, psyching yourself up in your head as you walked outside and were greeted by screaming fans and bright signs painted with your name in the middle.

“Hey,” Grabbing your hand before you took to stage, your assistant pulled you down to her level as you were standing on the second step. “Michael always went crazy for you in leather pants.” Giggling, she winked at you before letting you go, giving you that last injection of confidence before you were introduced.

“What’s up, New York!?” Shouting, you rheotrically asked into the microphone over the sound of the backtracking, closing your eyes as you generally did before laying yourself out in front of the world to see, “If some guy doesn’t want you until after you’re gone, sing along.” Without meaning to rhyme at all, you stated and let it go. It was a vulnerable thing to do, perform for the world, but it always felt like the most amazing and tedious workout when you were through.
As soon as Lara Spencer was on the stage, coming up to your breathless body and unwaivering smile, to call for a commercial break, you leaned in to check with your assistant how you did. It had been the same way since you started when you were a kid, you were always going to her for her opinion and she almost always told you that you were perfect. This time, she ran up to the stage on her tip toes and held up her iPad for you to read the results yourself.

“You beat 5 Seconds of Summer as most pre-ordered single and you’re trending in three different hashtags and you look really good in leather!” In one giant breath she told you as you read over the different trending topics: [Y/N]ISBACK, DontHoldYourBreathMichael, [Y/N]GMA. “Also Michael is calling.” She pulled your cell phone out of her purse, studying the screen before offering it to you, but you waved it away and handed her the tablet as you stood up, ready for your interview.

“Let it go to my voicemail.” You winked, knowing your point had been made and that Michael Clifford wouldn’t try to fuck with you again even if his voicemail was littered with, ’Don’t do this. I still love you so much’.

Don’t Hold Your Breath here

140903 Bangtan Ilsan fansign

The first fansign for bangtan’s new album was this wednesday allll the way out at the very end of line 3 in ilsan at kintex. The seats were first come first serve and since I wanted to take pics I went early in the morning to get on the fanmade list so i’d be early on in the order and therefore close to the front. i ended up being #28 in the second row right in front of suga, jimin, and taehyung which was great for me since they’re my top 3 hehe if i /have to pick/ sob…

we came back at 6pm for the name check and then went and had dinner at lotteria where i prepared my questions and got made fun of for not being able to pick a favorite member by my friends ㅎㅎㅎ but all and all it was a good time. i had brought a stuffed penguin to give taehyung along with a picture i took of him once where i really thought he looked like a little penguin, but i wasnt sure what the atmosphere would be like what with the tragic news of Ladies’ Codes’ accident. I was a bit worried,honestly, that it would be kind of a subdued first fansign and wasn’t really sure that kind of present was appropriate, but when the boys came in they were as bright as ever. they seemed super happy and excited to finally be meeting their fans again and were quite playful and smiley dispite the circumstances. I think being an idol means being skilled at compartamentalizing things, so even though they were probably affected by that they could also enjoy seeing their fans, happily.

The order of the fansign was Jeongguk-Jin-Hoseok-Namjoon-Taehyung-Jimin-Yoongi, which was a nice for me, but weird having Jeongguk be first. The members im usually the most awkward with are Jeongguk and Jimin actually ;; for some reason i can never think of things to say to them, but this time at least i had a built-in lead in for jeongguk since i could wish him happy birthday.

I knelt down across from him and gave him my album and he smiled and asked my name, which he wrote with a heart next to it. I asked him how his birthday was and he very emphatically told me it was really good, and then i mentioned that i was actually at simply kpop that day so i saw him haha. Then he read my question for him which was “Which hyung gives the best presents? What kind of present did you get from him?” and he wrote seaweed soup, so i said “oh so Jin hyung?” and he was like yeah~ and that was pretty much the whole conversation with him. Oh, and he told me I spoke Korean well. i told him i’ll see him on friday too and then moved on to Jin.

Jin greeted me with a “Hi~ What’s your name” and when I told him “Kat” he was like “oh like your headband?” because I had a cat ear headband on, but i think he might have just pointed, not actually said headband bc he was speaking english and i dont think he knows the word haha, his english pronunciation is so nice though wow. Then he went to read my post it, but i got really embarrassed so i covered it up and told him “dont read it, im shy now!” hahaha;; and he was like haha it’s okay, so i uncovered it and he started to read it again but i kept getting shy (basically i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to speak korean properly so i wrote a note just kind of rambling that he’s super attractive and lately every time i see him he gets more attractive to me, but I just.. got soo… embarrassed! aha…). And then he was like “Do you know my part in danger?” and I was like “yeah??” and he started singing it and like… made me sing a long lmao. and then he asked me if i knew jeongguk’s part, like he wanted me to do it? but i was confused so i asked which part he meant and was like 귀요미 지못미? haha. i told him I was coming again on friday so he should try to remember my name and he told me he would and gave me a high-five.

Hoseok greeted me with the opening of Hormone War, “Hello hello, hello hello~” which was cute haha he asked me my name and I was like it’s kat and he wrote it but he was talking to me without actually looking at me but I was like yeah I saw you last promotions too you don’t remember? and he looked at me really confused haha i don’t think he remembers meeting me at all despite me also seeing him all summer at airports and such. i told him i cut my hair so maybe he doesn’t recognize me but i think he was still confused. he kept drawing hearts next to my name to make up for it though haha. my question for him was “What’s a song you really want to make choreo for?” and he immediately wrote “We On” I asked him what about a non-Bangtan song and he he thought for a second and wrote “Wiz Khalifa~♥︎” so i told him I really wanted to see more of his choreography and said bye and moved on.

Namjoon greeted me with a big smile and said “LTNS”… to which i replied…“sorry?” and he got all flustered and was like “oh like long time no see haha…” and I was like “ohhh! yeah… wow namjoon you know more english slang than me, I know!” and he got all bashful like “naww man hahhahaa” it was cute. Then he asked me where I was from and even though in my head I was like… namjoon we’ve been over this, I just said California and of course it spurred him into an excited tumble of words about how great California was and i told him it looked like they had a really good time. i asked him to write a poem with each line starting with one letter from my name (like you can do in korean with characters in people’s names, but you can do it in english with letters). So he hid the post-it as he wrote it and kind of giggled to himself. he quickly turned the page so i couldn’t see it and he wouldn’t let me turn back to it either. he started laughing a lot and was like, “don’t look at it now, and it’s just a joke okay?”. I was like, “wh..y…?? what did you write omg” but he just kept smiling and laughing.

This is his beautiful poem. such lyrical genius and this is the poem i get haha:

V was next and he greeted me brightly with his cute “hello~!” and i said hi, and he asked me my name and I said Kat. He started to write cat with a c, but corrected himself and crossed it out and was like, “oh no, K! K! right??” and I was like yeah! that’s right, and he goes, “yes!! i remember! you came to gwangju right!!” and I was like yes! omg and he goes in English, “I missed you!!” and I just was like “I missed you more taehyung!” and i gave him the penguin and he kind of played with it and put it under his arm while he signed (i really want to see a pic of it T^T if anyone sees it let me know please!!) and i tried to explain that it reminded me of him in the picture i gave him with the thing but im not sure if he understood what i was saying to him lol. anyway, he was really cute and he didnt look at my post-it but i dont even careeee because TAEHYUNG T^T.

Jimin greeted me and asked me name and just.. jimin is so handsome his skin is such a nice tone and i just get really overwhelmed by looking at him because i think he’s so handsome T^T. he signed my album and answered my question, which was “you did really well at sukira by yourself! if you could go on a show with one member who would you choose?” and he picked Jhope. i said i think that would be entertaining, and then we just stared at each other. i should have asked him why he picked hoseok… or something… but i just… stared at him haha. eventually i was like “you become really really handsome;;” but then i had to move on. idk… park jimin does something to my brain T^T

Yoongi greeted me in korean with a “long time no see” and asked me name. he asked me if i went back to the states between promotions and i told him no, i’ve just been here^^ and he was like really?? you didn’t go home? and I was like, “no… you didn’t see me at the airport and stuff? cos i saw you guys a lot haha” and he was like ah.. yes… but im pretty sure they just dont look around when they’re doing stuff. like the only time they actually look at their fans are when they’re right in front of them at fansigns.. sigh. anyway, then he answered my post-it which hairstyle do you like the best on you? and he went down all the options and checked them all saying, i like them all! and i was like ok… well pick a favorite? he thought about it a bit and chose haruman. i told him it was my favorite on him too. he told me my korean has improved since last time he saw me and i told him thanks and i’ll see him friday ^^

and that was my fansign. nothing too exciting to be honest, but it was nice to see them again in such good moods. and V remembered me T^T I cant… the rest of the fansign i just took pics and waved at them every so often. some other cute things that happened though:

-at one point V accidentally drew a dot on his face and everyone shouted at him about it. he made a lot of funny faces but didn’t actually try to get it off. finally someone gave him a hand mirror and he made a super exaggerated tragic face haha. he tried to get it off with a tissue but couldn’t so a staff had to give him some kind of cream lol.

-jimin got some kind of packaged toy and playfully tried to hit taehyung with it but accidentally hit him in the face with the sharper part of it and taehyung made a pained/surprised face so jimin apologized a lot and reached his arm around him like ‘are you okay??’

-and then like 15 mins later he got a soft toy and hit taehyung in the face with it to which taehyung just made an “unamused” resigned face haha.

-someone gave jimin a big rainbow slinky which he played with but accidentally threw it over the table to the audience side and someone had to retrieve it for him. everyone was teasing him about it lol

-a few minutes later suga was playing with a stuffed whale plushie and threw it in the air, but it also fell to the otherside of the table. all the fans were like “its okay!” and jimin made a really affronted face and was like, “no its not!” (like why do you guys tell him it’s okay but make fun of me T_T)

-a fan gave each member little red flowers, jeongguk, jin, suga and jhope all put them behind their ears while namjoon and taehyung only kept them briefly, but jimin really liked it. he held it through the entire fansign in his left hand, and even during their picture time and carried it out with him.

-at the end their mics weren’t working very well, they kept cutting out. hoseok’s wasn’t working at all so namjoon took it and it worked fine. hoseok took it back and it stopped… so namjoon took it again and it worked.. and hoseok made such a cute annoyed face haha like whyyyy??

-jeongguk sang part of Rain for us

-they asked us to be extra careful going home tonight because the roads were dangerous.

(feel free to take out anything from my fanaccounts, but please credit back to me thank you!)

Good Ole Swizzle and I go way back, we’re old friends - she just doesn’t know it. 

Back in 2007 there was this dude I had convinced myself I was in love with (hindsight is a funny thing) and we were going to get married….but he had a girlfriend. At the time ‘Misery Business’ by Paramore was the song that fit the situation perfectly “ I waited 8 long months she finally set him free” and at this point they had been together 7 and a half weeks so of course I was confident in two weeks time BOOM KAPOW she’d be gone. 

Nope. Not even close.

So there I was on Radio Disney one day and I heard this song that mentioned his name in it and it completely fit my situation. My new hope came from a young lady named Taylor Swift who had left the below phrase in my mind.

I had to download her album, it’s like we know each others brain right! BEST FRIEND FOREVER!! So there I went to Itunes and bought Taylor Swift which then set me up with more and more hopes and dreams ; Mary’s Song, I’m only me when I’m with you and then I had a really close Friend Drew . Teardrops on my Guitar was more proof that this girl and I were destined to be besties even though there was never any romantic feelings there she had a best friend named Drew as well and this was far to coincidental. 

I spent my summer searching and finding any unreleased or Bonus Song I could find ’ I’d Lie’ became an ultimate favourite of mine as well as ’ The other side of the door’ however the latter would only become to mean more to me in later years.

Flash forward to October 2008 and there is a music practical assessment due as I wasn’t talented enough for any other instrument I decided I would sing. The song of choice was the recently released 'Love Story’, no body else had heard of it but I was fortunate enough to have a music teacher who could recreate the chord progression and melody on the piano to accompany me.

Every body made fun of me for choosing a 'Lame Country Song about Romeo & Juliet’ however I just ignored them and performed my little heart out and got a great grade for it. Little did they know that the below phrase is incredibly hard to get the breathing correct on, the amount of times I had to go over and over this phrase to nail it is phenomenal.

In February 2009 Taylor had a concert in Brisbane at the Tivoli however my mum didn’t think I should be going to a concert 2.5 hours from home on a school night with no one I knew. I was of course devestated but I couldn’t do anything about it, I moved on and got over it. Until the day after the concert a girl the year above me at school announced that she had gone last night and it was wonderful - if only I’d known she was going my mum probs would have let me go. 

When I was in Port Douglas for Easter 2009 I bought the Deluxe Fearless Album and discovered the secret messages in the booklets, I spent hours of my holiday learning lyrics and decoding messages. approximately a month later You Belong with Me became the song everyone loved at my school, all they could talk about was how cool Taylor Swift was and how good her other song Love Story is… the same people who made fun of me for singing the exact same song 6 months ago. I was a tad concerned about their mental state after such a 180 that I even asked a few of them

For mothers day I made my mum a mixed CD for her car, The Best Day was the last on the CD and was her favourite. She watched the film clip for it over and over when it was released.

For Christmas 2009 I received 3 tickets to the Fearless Tour in Brisbane, if I didn’t already love Swizzle that tour certainly cemented her in my heart. She was happy and excited and interacted with the audience like we were her friends. 

When Speak Now was released I had just ended a tumultuous relationship with a boy with a name none other than John. I spent hours singing along with every word 'Don’t you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I loved you so’ and Taylor had once again reached straight into my life to find inspiration for a song. 

When we graduated high school in 2010 my friends and I took Speak Now with us to Schoolies and blasted Long Live and Sparks Fly throughout the week.

The line 'The end of a decade but the start of an age’ found itself resounding in our minds the entire week.

Christmas 2011 I received 2 tickets to the Speak Now World Tour and took my cousin Laura with me. We were the front row of the first tier and Taylor walked right pass us to make her way to the B- Stage. The two of us were probably 2 ft from touching her but she never looked our way unfortunately. 

We sang and danced to every song and were blown away when the fireworks went off inside the arena during Dear John.

I bought the Speak Now and Fearless Sheet Music books and poured my vocals and fingers into learning every piano chord and melody line I could.

September of 2012 my boyfriend broke up with me and I cried in my bed with my best friend while I listened to 'Last Kiss’ on repeart

In 2012 when Red was released there was excitement at a new sound and new secret messages to uncover in the booklets. I pre-ordered the album and tracked the delivery of it all day via Australia Post. I sat in my room and listened to every song on repeat whilst reading the lyric booklet. I fell in love with 'All Too Well’ just as everyone else did as well as Starlight. I danced in my car to Stay Stay Stay and 22 and reconciled with my boyfriend and danced to 'The Last Time’. 

In 2013 I left work early through an evacuation to make sure I got home in time to get the Taylor Nation Pre-sale. I was in and out of that check out within 2 minutes and got wonderful tickets around 25 metres from the stage. Even luckier though is that the Brisbane Concert was being held the day after my sisters wedding on the Saturday the 7th December.

The days before the Concert and the Wedding I spent hours creating fairy wings with fairy lights strung through the exterior wires and glow in the dark glitter paint with the words Red and Taylor Swift written on the wings. I also bought glow in the dark nail polish.

 On the morning of the 7th I skipped out on Maid of Honour duties and drove to Brisbane with my cousin Laura and we spent the day buying glow in the dark paint and glow sticks to create shirts and stand out in hopes of Taylor or Mumma Swift to see us. 

We had wonderful seats and were having a great time 

Then the pit broke, and everyone who was in the pit were told to stand in front of our seats. We couldn’t see and we couldn’t stand comfortably as there were people pushing us back into our physical seats. People behind us left and many were left disappointed. 

We still had a wonderful time though despite the hiccups.

In 2014 I was 'sick’ the day of the Taylor Swift Yahoo live chat and watched with the rest of the world as she announced 'Shake It Off’ and '1989’ I text my Cousin Laura straight away and told her to make sure she went onto youtube straight away. We texted back and forth the entire day discussing how excited we were when we heard shake it off on the radio in the car and how many times we had watched the film clip. 

In September Taylor started hosting the '1989 Secret Sessions’ and I got as excited as those who were invited, I downloaded Taylor’s cookie recipe and even followed some of the fans on Instagram. I watched and waited as each City had a secret session, I was in Nashville 4 days after she had the Secret Session there. As I finally made my way to New York Taylor flew to Australia, I was so upset that she would be having a secret session there and I wouldn’t be there. 

She didn’t have one and I relaxed finally.

When I returned from America 1989 was about to be released I waited with anticipation and avoided any leaks on Tumblr and Reddit. I waited until I received that pretty little album in my Itunes account. I loved it, it was wonderful and I listened repeatedly.


At the end of 2014 I left work early to purchase Pre Sale tickets for my cousin Laura and I through the Taylor Nation pre-sale, once again I was in and out within 2 minutes. $700 dollars later and I got us B-Stage Pit Tickets.


I don’t have any friends who are anywhere near as tall as me so if Swizzle would like to be my  maid of honour when I eventually get married that would be swell. help your curl sister out.



From now till 21st Aug, I’ll be posting SCANDAL’s solo interviews everyday, one member per day! Do look forward to them!

―― Today, it’s a long interview to look back on SCANDAL’s 10 years.

Yes. It’s been long.

―― So 10 years has been long, is it? (laughs)

In terms of bodily sensation, it feels short, but when you look back, it’s been long. We were formed during our emotional teenage period, then going into our 20s, and then the later half of our 20s. First and foremost, to turn this age and still be continuing with the band, it was unimaginable back in those times.

―― When the band was formed and with it moving forward, were you so absorbed that it felt like you were put in a dream-like situation?

That’s right. At the start when I was going to the vocal and dance school, I had zero instrument lessons before, and there weren’t anyone around me that played instruments either. That’s why, when the school teacher told me, 'Try playing a musical instrument’, it didn’t feel like reality. Since I was young, I looked up to the entertainment industry and went to school (for this) too. Just right at that time, I was in the 3rd year of high school, troubled about what I should do afterwards, like should I follow my dreams or further my studies. It wasn’t the singer path that I’d envisioned for myself, but I thought I’d follow my intuition onto this road.

―― During the time when you thought you’ll give instruments and the band a shot, have you already decided upon an instrument as well?

At the start, aside from these 4, I also asked about it with many other people. For me, it was like, 'Won’t you perhaps try the guitar out for a bit?’, so I picked the guitar without hesistation, but there were also others who were on the keyboard too. I firstly went for an instrument that I felt I could play and that I could become good at, was how it then felt.

―― When you started on the guitar, were there any bands that you referred to?

At that time, it was JUDY AND MARY, I suppose. But, when I saw the score, it was really difficult. So afterwards, when the 4 of us were wondering what to try playing, we copied Nakashima Mika’s 'GLAMOROUS SKY’, and Sadistic Mica Band’s 'Time Machine ni Onegai’, as sung by Kimura Kaela.

―― Do you still remember the feeling of when you first entered a studio?

During that time, I didn’t even know the way to use an amp. I would even go, 'Where should this be connected to?!’, in order to have my voice come out from the speakers from the mic. For a 2-hour studio session, we probably spent an hour setting up (laughs). However, it felt like an after-school activity, so it was fun.

―― HARUNA-san is 2 years older than the other 3 (members) right?

MAMI and TOMO are 2 years younger than me, and RINA, 3 years.

―― In your teens, I believe that this age gap would seem huge. Did you feel like you had to pull this along yourself?

I think I felt that I had to get myelf together, since I’m the older sister. But rather than being a self-motivated leader, I probably only know more due to my being older (laughs). There was somewhat such a gap then.

―― There was a moment that lifted the weight off your chest eh (laughs)

RINA was already enrolled in the school, but she only started a little before our formation, on our formation day that is 21st August. The day that we heard, 'A new girl named RINA will be joining in, and you’ll be doing the band together okay’ was the first time we all met in person, and that would be our day of formation.

―― To form a band with members that you’ve just met and whom are touching an instrument for the first time, did you feel uneasy, like how this was all going to turn out?

I knew that we’re all going to be poor, but it wasn’t like I was that unconfident. Surely it’ll be a long way before we get good, but I didn’t either. Since I’ll think, we did it!, so long we could last the way from RINA’s drum counts to the end of a song. Every single day was filled with a sense of fulfillment (laughs). From our formation day on 21st August till our Summer holidays ends, for around 2 weeks, we were constantly undergoing training camps.

―― And then in October 2008, you all debuted with the single release, 'DOLL’. Since your debut, have there been years that you personally felt change, in terms of your mental state?

That’s right…I’ve had quite a period that I was troubled. It was between the 2nd album, 'TEMPTATION BOX’ (2010) and the 3rd album, 'BABY ACTION’ (2011). The things that I weren’t able to grasp in regards to singing have increased. I’ve liked to sing since I was young, and I’ve never had to be troubled over my own singing. Thus, during recording sessions, which I listened in on over and over again, I became even more lost, like, 'How should I sing this even?’ That dragged on for quite a bit.

―― Starting from thinking about “singing”, you pulled ahead with it oming from “technical ability”, rather than coming from the heart then.

I was serious about my roots, and I wanted to sing even better, and so I was pulled along with wanting to sing in the correct way. Turns out that it became that I couldn’t sing at all.

―― Did the members realise that?

They did, since my voice wouldn’t come out all. The people who’ve been supporting us since our debut too, I think they knew. For myself, that was embarassing. We kept getting more and more confirmed events, and we were also already in the midst of giving plenty of lives, but I wasn’t able to give my best performance for over 2 or 3 years.

―― In terms of time, that was long.

One of the things that changed me were our first-ever confirmed Budokan performance in March 2012. From around the time when we were rehearsing for that, I had the feeling that my feelings were slowly moving forward. I changed my voice trainer, and I was also glad for that person’s support. I think I really caused trouble for the members and staff too, to the point that I’m really grateful for them not leaving me behind.

―― Well then, how do you see SCANDAL from now on?

No matter how it turns out, we’ll be looking forward to it. I haven’t thought much about how things will be like many years from now on.

―― What is the reason for your continuing till now?

I think it’s because the 4 of us are really looking into the same direction together. We have the courage, and are good at pushing ahead (laughs). We do look back at the moments that felt regrettable or troubling, but we’ve never given up. No one ever says they can’t do it anymore. We’re always satisfied, but never satisfied either I guess. If you can’t get through to the band members, there’ll be uncertainty. They aren’t family or friends. But for 10 years everyday, we’ve been together. Above just being alive, they’re people necessary in life.

―― You’ll all have to go for the Guinness record now (laughs)

I think that the 10 years from now and the past 10 years will be completely different. Even if you think about it logically, these are 10 years that mean great change to a woman. I’ll be 38 on our 20th anniversary, but I can’t imagine that at all. I’ve been hell-bent on running forward since I was in my 10s, and that won’t happen in my 10th year. I think we’ll like to do this at our own pace now. I wonder how it’ll turn out. But, I’ll still like us to remain cool.

Translations & photos by fyscandalband. To purchase, click HERE. As I’ll only translate what piques my interest, this is only a part of the interview and not a full translation. More to come.