i pretend to be fine

a new year’s advice to the signs

aries: you’ve got to let your guard down. it’s keeping too much anger in and too much love out. it’s healthy to express your frustration, and it’s even healthier for you to let your loved ones love you. you’ll feel better once you relax the tensions around your mind.

taurus: you’ve been doing so well taking care of yourself that you’ve taken it upon yourself to start taking care of others, too. this is so wonderful! i’m proud of you for getting to this point. please don’t let anyone else become your top priority. it’s taken you a long time to get to this place and putting yourself on the back burner is a quick way to start spiraling back down again. take care of yourself, for me?

gemini: you simply haven’t been yourself recently. you think we don’t notice, but we do. i know you’re trying to pretend that you’re fine, and you’re doing great. but it’s not good for you. open up to some of your older friends. we’re still here. we still love you for who you are. and we’d love to do whatever it takes to make you feel at home in yourself again. remember us.

cancer: loud. that’s what you are. you are loud. everyone knows. perhaps you aren’t loud in volume. but you have a loud energy, a loud aura, a loud presence; art leaks from your pores and it’s very attention grabbing. something’s putting a stop to the beautiful rainbow flow of vivacity around you and it make me nauseous to see. get back in touch with who you are, love, the universe is getting cold without you.

leo: have you noticed everyone moving on instead of paying attention to your everlasting frustration with yourself? it was inevitable. you’re growing, maturing, blossoming, and now you’ve grown to a new level and you’re discovering that your impulsive and reckless emotions will not always be catered to. you’re learning to be less dependent on others and their opinions. i hope you’ll continue to learn to love yourself and not rely on the affection and attention of others. you’ve come a long way. keep going.

virgo: i can’t help but notice the extremities to which you will go to pretend that your pain is not prevalent. i know how deeply you are feeling these feelings and i can see it in your eyes while you’re drowning out the pain and trying your damndest to make sure that no one notices. i know you don’t want to stress anyone out with your issues, but darling, you’re suffocating, and your lips are turning blue. i would kiss them to bring the color back but it will make no difference until you embrace this darkness and hug it until it gets sick of your joy and leaves to cloud over someone else.

libra: contrary to what literature and the media will have you believe, your youth is not everlasting. you will grow old. your body will catch up with your bad habits. think about the things you gave up as a child that you wish you’d kept up with now, and compare that to what you think your older mindset will be. do you think you will appreciate how you treated yourself when forty years have passed? slow down. you don’t have to live so fast. if you keep going, you’ll live past us all and be all alone.

scorpio: your mind is going a million miles an hour in circles, but to the rest of us, you’re going a million miles away from us. we miss you and your vitality. your intensity is so beautiful, i miss seeing it. come back down to earth for a while. it’ll be good for both of us. 

sagittarius: you sweet sagittarian, you aren’t living up to your potential. the sagittarius is the explorer, with no fear and endless curiosity. and what is it that i see you doing? settling? second guessing yourself, because you’re afraid of the future? ridiculous. you know better. i’m disappointed. offended, even. why are you playing it safe? start doing yoga, take a shot, or go mountain climbing. i don’t care what it is. as long as it triggers you and turns you back into the hero or heroine that is raging inside of you and itching to get out.

capricorn: breathe. in and out. a few times. as many as it takes for  you to be able to get it through your head that you will be okay. i know you’re afraid and i know that you’re standing on a rickety string bridge while all you want is to be on solid ground, but there isn’t any solid ground here. so keep going. cross the bridge. it looks dangerous and terrifying, but do you have any other option? just accept it and keep going. it’s easiest to walk along tightropes if you walk quickly, and don’t think about falling.

aquarius: you feel lonely and abandoned right now, because it seems as though you’re the only one with any common sense left, and being the only sane one is making you feel like you’re the craziest. don’t let it get to you. you have the highest head on your shoulders, with a beautiful brain brimming with exquisite ideas. please do not let anyone treat you as anything less than the ethereal actuality that you are. 

pisces: you’re trying your best to hold in how irritated you are, and i admire your persistence, but it’s not good for you. why being emotionless is currently being romanticized, i have no clue, but please embrace your emotions, no matter how angry or wild they may be. you are a hurricane! not a few droplets of condensation or a mere drizzle across the horizon, but a vigorous monsoon. take out anyone and everyone in your way this year. don’t hold back. 

i had a dream about you last night
you eyes were wide and wet with tears
but my words were like the hugs i can no longer give you
and soon enough, you were okay again
when i woke up, i had to text you just to make everything was alright
i pretended it didn’t hurt when you told me you were fine

i had a dream about you last night
except you weren’t in it - not really 
and i was with someone new
someone who wasn’t you
and it wasn’t right because they weren’t you
can you believe that even in my dreams i was wishing for you
even in my dreams, i can’t move on

i had a dream about you last night
but it felt more like a nightmare
because i was being haunted by all the things i want but cannot have
it started with you and ended with you

i had a dream about you last night
you loved me again

—  i woke up aching, i woke up wishing i hadn’t
(cc, 2017)
I want to cry and scream until my lungs hurt or I run out of tears. I want to throw things until they break and punch walls until I can no longer feel my hands. I want to kick down my door or throw myself onto the floor until my body stops shaking. I have so many pent up emotions, anger, hurt, sadness, betrayal. I want to hurt everything because everything is hurting me.
—  but all i’m going to do is pretend that everything is fine ( 11:15 )

I wish I was able to act out. I think that would feel more freeing than not being able to express my emotions to people. I know both suck but I hate hate hate feeling like I need to cry and scream but I’m so terrified of upsetting people I become physically unable to move or make a sound. I can’t stop pretending like everything is fine

Stop pretending you’re fucking fine! Because you’re not, I know you’re not. God, the whole world can see it. Just because they don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t.
—  Excerpts from a book I’ll never write part I
4

how to fight with your boyfriend, a brief guide by Jemma Simmons

Top 15 Sasunaru Moments

In no particular order

1. “Heaven is wherever you are, teme”

2. “Allow me to picture you naked and then blush really hard”

3. “I look like I am ready to destroy anyone who hurts you but I melt the second you look at me”

4. “I think I love you, idiot”

5. “I can’t kill you”

6. “Wait, I wanna die for you and then remember our kiss before I die”

7. “Imma feed you”

8. “You are in love with Naruto you idiot, accept it”

9. “Naruto for the love of God stop pretending we are just friends”

“Fine, I’ll confess”

10. “You better not be dead”

11. “Sasuke is hella hot”

12. “I can’t believe I let you leave again”

13. “I miss you”

14. “I will have a panic attack now that they want to kill you”

15. “We will die together and we’ll be finally happy”

So after the recent results of the election, I decided to exercise my right as an American to openly disagree who is our impending leader. I painted my face and wore red as a nod to the Make America Psycho Again. It may not do much, or anything at all, but I’ve caught the attention of several people at school. From this point, I’m going to continue painting my face until I run out and I refuse to stand for the pledge of allegiance and the national anthem. I may be black, born female, and queer, but now’s not the time to back down. Things have already begun going awry, people are scared, and I can’t just sit down and pretend this is fine. Please don’t feel like you’re hopeless and that you can’t make a difference. I got made fun of by countless people, but I also caught the attention of my digital arts teacher, who recognized this as a form of protest and took a picture of me. A small gesture, but if one person acts and several turn heads, who knows what several people can do.

warnette fanfic

i’ve had this idea in my head for months and last night i was upset so i finally decided to go through with it and write it. I wrote for five hours straight and it’s nearly 10,000 words, which I believe makes it my longest one yet. Enjoy Warner getting dragged :)

Keep reading

anyway i keep thinking about how dennis was always fine with pretending to be mac’s partner and could talk at length about having sex with him until mac came out. and mac was just trying to do what they always did in these scenarios but dennis didn’t want to do that because it wasn’t funny anymore. mac had finally acknowledged what dennis thought he’d never acknowledge and that meant what dennis had already acknowledged couldn’t be brushed to the side as an impossible dream anymore and WOW someone put me to BED