i posted this on facebook just now but i want it here too

If you have a lucid dream, do not commit any acts of violence against the things you meet

by reddit user professionalsuccubus

I had my first lucid dream at age nine.

I was in a decrepit neighborhood – rotting porches, peeling paint, Spanish moss hanging off dormers, the works. Mist swirled around my ankles as I walked slowly through the streets. Like an old video game, the horizon was both unchanging and unreachable.

I wandered around, in and out of the cobwebby houses. Although the streets were empty, the houses usually had a few ghosts floating around. There were a few children, but they were mostly old people, in various stages of decay. They never hurt me, nor did they speak. They just floated. Sometimes they’d follow me, but I never felt threatened.

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fake fake fake
  • the clip starts with eva talking about causeries: humorous written piece that, in english, can be referred to as “talk of the town”. eva says she’s not good at it while noora says she doesn’t even know what it is. 👀👀👀
  • even before sana starts focusing on the carrot munching, from the very first second of the clip, the audio has a slight echo to it. which could just be the staircase in which they’re in but i’d think that the team would fix it in post-prod. i feel like they left it because it gives a daydreaming quality to the scene and sana’s pov. from the start, she’s not really listening.
  • carrot munching from the trailer
  • i’ve seen people comment that noora is eating too loudly, that’s not what it is.
    firstly: have you ever managed to eat a carrot silently? and secondly: the shot is to show how much sana is annoyed by noora now. when you hate someone, you tend to find every single thing they do annoying. suddenly, they breathe too loud, eat too loud, are just generally gross.
  • in my attempt to find out if there was a word for this phenomenon other than misophonia (as i understand it, misophonia is when you’re hypersensitive to certain sounds regardless of the context or person…i was looking for a word for when it happens only when you hate someone), i discovered a video of 5mn of carrot munching noises. here it is if you want to die.
  • the mcdonald’s discourse
  • sana looks outside at sara, vilde, and laila and…
  • …i’ll come back to this image later.
  • as sana focuses on noora and eva joining the group, she tunes out the noise around her just as when in prayer or when she was looking at yousef’s facebook profile. it seems that the music from sigur rós is used here as it was used in the other focusing scenes.
  • isak literally gets his nose into other people’s business (and i feel that almost everyone noticed immediately, despite how little of the frame it takes, because of the reading sense)
  • again, we have isak trying to reach sana and he says exactly what’s on sana’s mind: “has sara stolen all your friends?”

[cont. after the “read more”]

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megaglitterytragedystuff  asked:

Can you explain when to use para and por? I always get them wrong :/

¡Hola! 

I answered a similar question before, and I made a Google document about this. But I’ll post it here (because I get this question a lot) with some extra things. :)

Well, first of all I don’t recommend you to learn “por and para” as “to and for” because this is not always correct, and you might get even more confused. The truth is that these prepositions don’t have an exact translation in English or any other language, so the only thing you can do is to know the uses and differences between them.

This is how I recommend you to learn them:

POR: reason, cause, method, way, duration
PARA: purpose, goal

I think para is easier to understand. Para always refers to a purpose, a goal or an effect. So if you’re not sure which one to use, ask yourself “Does the next phrase after para talk about a purpose or goal? If yes, use it. If not, 80% of the times is por. (I say “80%” because this is not an official rule. This is just something I thought about to help you choose the right preposition).

Now let’s see some examples to make this clearer:

por vs. para

  • ¿Por qué? - Why? What is the reason?
  • ¿Para qué? - What for? What is the purpose?

  • Lo hice por ti. - I did it because of you. (You were the reason)
  • Lo hice para ti. - I did it for you. (You were the purpose)

  • Trabajo por mi madre. - I work because of my mother. (She got me a job / she is the reason I got a job).
  • Trabajo para mi madre. - I work for my mother. (I work in her business / I’m her employee).

  • Una canción escrita por mi amigo. - A song written by my friend. (My friend is the reason why this song exists now)
  • Una canción escrita para mi amigo. - A song written for my friend. (The song was dedicated to my friend)

✧ por + [place] = way, route (focus on direction, not destination)

  • Por aquí. - This way
  • Me fui por la avenida. - I went down the avenue. (The avenue was the way I chose to get to my destination.)
  • Lo vi cuando pasó por la ventana. - I saw him when he passed through the window. (My window wasn’t his destination)
  • Caminé por el parque y vi esta flor. - I walked through the park and I saw this flower. (I was walking around the park without a definite destination)
  • Ayer pasé por tu casa. - I passed by your house yesterday. (I was going to another place and casually your house was on my way).
  • Viajé por varios países. - I traveled around several countries. (I’m not specific about each country I visited)
  • ¿Por dónde te vas a ir? - How are you going to go? (What’s the way you’re going to choose to go?)

✧ para + [place] = towards, “on my way to..” (focus on the destination)

  • Voy para el centro. - I’m going to downtown. (I’m on my way to downtown).
  • Nos vamos para Perú. - We’re going to Perú. (We’re on our way to Peru).
  • Viajamos para el Caribe en 30 minutos. - We travel to the Caribbean in 30 minutes. (On our way to the Caribbean in 30 minutes)
  • Voy para tu casa. - I’m on my way to your house.
  • ¿Ya vienes para acá? - Are you coming here? (Are you on your way?)

✧ por + [time] = for, in (during)

  • Trabajé por 8 horas. - I worked for 8 hours.
  • Se fue por días. - He left for days.
  • Ha estado viajando por meses. - He/She has been traveling for months.
  • No lo vi por años. - I didn’t see him for years.
  • ¿Por cuánto tiempo tienes que tomar los medicamentos? - For how long do you have to take the medications?

✧ para + [time] = due (deadline)

  • Tengo que terminar esto para las 8:00. - I need to finish this by 8:00.
  • La tarea es para el miércoles. - Homework is due Wednesday.
  • El proyecto es para la próxima semana. -The project is due next week.
  • Tengo que ahorrar 500 dólares para junio. - I need to save 500 DLS before June.
  • ¿Para cuándo es la tarea? - When is the deadline for the homework?

✧ por + [method] = by

  • Te envié las fotos por correo electrónico. - I sent you the pictures by email.
  • Le hablé por teléfono. - I called her/him on the phone.
  • Lo contacté por Facebook. - I contacted him by Facebook.
  • ¿Por dónde me mandaste los documentos? - How did you send me the documents? (Through what? what method?)

✧ por as cause

  • Por dormir en clase reprobé el examen. - Because I slept in class I failed the exam.
  • Lo has conseguido por todo tu esfuerzo. - You’ve got it because of all your effort.
  • Por comer mucho, ahora me duele el estómago. - Because I ate too much, my stomach hurts now.

✧ exchange / change + por

  • Quiero cambiar mis dólares por pesos mexicanos. - I want to exchange my dollars for Mexican pesos.
  • Te cambio tu sándwich por mi ensalada. - I’ll trade you my salad for your sandwich.

✧ gracias + por

  • Gracias por ayudarme. - Thank you for helping me.
  • Gracias por la comida. - Thank you for the meal.
  • Gracias por todo. - Thank you for everything.

More examples with gracias + por.

✧ para as goal

  • Trabajo todos los días para ganar dinero. - I work everyday to make money.
  • Hago ejercicio para bajar de peso. - I exercise to lose weight.
  • Practico para mejorar. - I practice to get better.

I hope this was useful! :)

Murdered By Her Best Friends

The murder of 16-year-old Skylar Neese

On July 6th, 2012 16-year-old Skylar Neese snuck out of her house to drive around & smoke marijuana with her two best friends, Shelia Eddy (middle) & Rachel Shoaf (right). They drove to Morris Run Road in Pennsylvania, a long dirt road surrounded with forestry, a place they had been before to hangout and smoke. When Skylar turned her back the girls counted to three & began stabbing Skylar to death with kitchen knives they had concealed under their clothes. The only thing Skylar said during the attack was “why” over & over again. The girls stood over her body until she was dead, cleaned themselves up with Clorox wipes & fresh clothes they had stored in the trunk, went home & resumed their normal lives.

Skylar was deemed a runaway & the girls played the role of concerned friends who just wanted their best friend back. Shelia begged & pleaded for her to come home on her social media, helped the family post missing flyers, & spent countless hours with Skylar’s parents sitting in Skylar’s room talking & crying. When cops began questioning the girls the Neese’s repeatedly told cops to back off because they were going through enough already.

Above screenshots of Shelia Eddy pretending to be a concerned friend on Facebook. Comments by Skylar’s parents, Dave and Mary Neese.

The heat of the ongoing investigation & whispers around town proved to be too much to handle for Rachel Shoaf, who confessed to the murder in December of 2012. She said “we stabbed her” & when asked why she said “we just didn’t want to be friends anymore.” She cooperated with police & lead them to where Skylar was murdered. She also agreed to wear a wire while hanging out with Shelia in order to get Shelia to say something incriminating, but Shelia held out. Below is a picture of them from that night. 

Shelia Eddy was arrested May 1st, 2013. On January 24, 2014 she plead guilty to first degree murder & was sentenced to life with mercy, eligible for parole after 15 years. On February 26th, 2014 Rachel Shoaf was charged with second degree murder & was sentenced to 30 years, eligible for parole after 10 years. They are both serving their sentences in Lakin Correctional Center.

Shelia Eddy

Rachel Shoaf

Chilling tweet by Shelia Eddy a month before her arrest.

One popular theory suggests Shelia & Rachel were engaged in a sexual relationship & Skylar was the only one who knew about it. There was always drama & fighting amongst them, so to avoid Skylar telling their secret they killed her. However, the true motive remains unknown.

Because of the nature of this crime & the fact that I am the same age as the girls (21 now) I became really invested in it. I watched everything I could about it, read every article, even got in contact with Skylar Neese’s parents who are wonderful people. There are several documentaries about it here & here, as well as her parents’ Dr. Phil episode here. You can purchase the book containing more detailed information here (a must read if you’re interested in this case!)

a theory regarding today’s clip

so today’s clip was wonderful, all that i dreamed of: finally a clip of relief and support between the girls. but it also left me wondering how the hell we got from yesterday’s clip in which the girls mentioned..

to today’s clip.. in which the girls mentioned..

that seems a big change overnight. i’ve seen some theories flying by and one ask received by @tarjeiandhenrik left me thinking: how did this go? bc i personally don’t think what chris told sana yesterday was a lie to make the surprise all that bigger.. it seems a bit.. unnecessarily harsh. and how would the girls suddenly know that the pm girls were fucking with sana in the first place?

well, let me tell you who did know what happened between sana and the pm girls. 

this guy. isak is the only one who knew about what made sana make the saranors account. i remember this past monday, in which sana told chris about the account, that we were all terribly frustrated with the fact that chris didn’t ask why sana made the account. and i could understand why chris would be the person to be asked bc she’s kind of the person to avoid confrontations a lot. i think it was a deliberate choice to have sana ask her, but not be asked why. because this is also strengthened by sana’s post on the flawless 99 facebook in which she says:

“ There’s not point in explaining why I did it, because it doesn’t justify anything “

she specifically mentions not wanting to explain her deal! so i don’t think sana told chris anymore between that post and the clip we got yesterday. now, that mention of “they don’t like you as much anymore”: way too cruel to not be true in the end.. to be just a diversion to surprise her even more today. my guess is that after that phonecall with chris, isak somehow got in touch with the girls and told them about sara. at that point, isak probably already knew that sana had come clean about the whole thing. maybe he’d been talking with eva already? who knows. bc here’s the thing: isak knows that sana feels that she doesn’t have anyone anymore. she told him last friday. and his response?

the clip also ended on isak’s face as opposed to sana’s face, which often indicates (to me at least) that the person who is last seen is up to something that the protagonist might not see yet. it also happened with the “du er alene” exchange, which made isak realise that there was something wrong with sana and he reached out. 

this also makes sense, if we remember who reached out today to sana:

isak once again. he knows that the girls haven’t been talking (but he might have thought they would have already since he talked to them? it could be he’s checking if they reached out already). what is most significant about this exchange: “jeg backer deg. 4real” i have your back, like 4 real. it’s a nice enough message, but i think this was done on purpose: isak really did have her back bc he told the girls sara was scheming to push her out. as a result: the girls know the pm girls were fucking with sana. 

and that was my theory, haha. i might be totally wrong here, or maybe it’ll never get explained. but in that case i’ll just run with this theory. who knows, maybe isak will tell sana on friday about it? i’m assuming eva might invite the boy squad for a nice convergence of the Ultimate Boy + Girl squad (and maybe the balloon squad as well??) Let’s wait and see!

My Life as a Cartoon Network Intern (and how I think you can Intern in Animation too!)

Over this past summer, I was given the amazing opportunity to be a Production Intern at Cartoon Network (I worked on Clarence; woo!)

Every once in a while I get people who either come up to me in person, or who message me on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram etc. and ask me how I got the opportunity, and how they can intern in animation as well. Recently (Over the course of the last week or so) I’ve been asked a bunch, so I decided to create this massive master post in an attempt to get the information out to as many artists (and non-artists) as possible! 

I know a lot of people who feel like getting into the animation industry is completely impossible, (I should know, I felt the exact same way not too long ago) and I also know just how LITTLE references there actually are on finding an internship, and beyond that, the type of experiences that people who gotten the chance to intern have had. I told myself that if I got the internship, I would try to change that, and here we are! (A little late, but I really want to make this as helpful as possible)

If you all could please Reblog this to your followers I would love it! You never know who’s looking and hopefully, I can help people with my experiences! 

So to make it easier for people who don’t have the time to read all of my ramblings, AND for the sake of ease/reference; I’m going to break this post up into different sections: My Internship search My initial excitement/rejections - How I got the internship - My experience as an Intern and How Interning has helped me as an artist

My Internship search: 

Halfway through last year (My Sophomore year of college) I had decided that I would take a leap of faith and apply for some internships. I didn’t expect much of it, but my hopes were high because I thought I had at least a halfway decent portfolio, and my resume had some pretty okay animation experience on it (I’m the head of the only Animation organization on campus) and I’m majoring in animation so I had some 3D experience and 2D experience (which I’ve worked on on my own time, since it’s what I want to do) 

One of my biggest worries was the fact that I go to a state school: Southern Illinois University. The school is great, and I love it there, but I couldn’t afford art school, so I was very worried about how many opportunities there would be for me in Southern Illinois. Especially with the amount of amazing art that I see coming from people who go to schools like CalArs, Sheridan and the like. I was frustrated because I wasn’t there and felt like I would never get the opportunity to work in animation, which has been my dream since I could hold a pencil. Cartoons have changed my life, and they still do; but I was genuinely afraid that because I couldn’t afford a more art-related education, that I wouldn’t get the opportunity to tell stories like I’ve always dreamed. (But I digress) 

As I was saying: I was doing all of your standard (I want/need a job) searches to try to find something in animation: Glassdoor, Internships.com, JOBS.com; stuff like that. FUN FACT: I’ve read every single Glassdoor review for both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. Every Job. All of them.

Some internships are a lot easier to find: Nickelodeon, Disney, Titmouse

While some are WAAAAAY more elusive: Cartoon Network… 

This narrowed my search down from a bunch of animation studios.. to a handful. My candidates were: Nickelodeon, Dreamworks and Titmouse. (All wonderful animation studios!) Now here’s where it gets interesting:

 My initial excitement/Rejections:

I didn’t hear back from any of them! NOT ONE. Which I learned after a very long, VERY stressful waiting period. (At this time it was early to mid April) Now; I knew that I was really too young to be applying for the internships, (I’m young for my grade so I was 19 at the time) And I knew that all of these internships specified that they wanted a Junior or above, but I figured since the year was almost over and I had good grades that MAYBE, they would let me slide. But I had no real experience working in animation, and although my hopes were high, they were also reeeeeeeal low. 

After waiting for the few weeks that I did, and not hearing a peep, I was dejected, frustrated, and I felt like there was no hope for me… Which leads us to…

HOW I GOT THE INTERNSHIP: 

When it comes to how I actually GOT the job: The answer I want to give you guys is that it was complete luck, and that by a series of random occurrences, somehow I was offered the position…. BUT, that’s only half true. Honestly, I worked really hard on making sure that I had as good a résumé as I possibly could: 

By that, I mean that I’ve worked really hard in school to get good grades/dean’s list/honors program, etc.; and I also started an animation organization on campus. (There’s a major, but there was a huge lack of enthusiasm and community within the program at SIU so I wanted to help to bring other artists and myself closer, and make great art while we’re at it) 

On top of that, I wrote (what I think was) a really good cover letter. But… Even with all three of those things, I don’t know if I would have gotten the position if it wasn’t for the internship coordinator at my school. I go to Southern Illinois University, and she pointed me in the direction of the Cartoon Network internship. (The Turner website isn’t like Nickelodeon, they only post internships when there’s a position to be filled)

LUCKILY for me, the Producer of Clarence (The wonderful Keith Mack) is an alum from SIU, so he connected with the internship coordinator (bless her heart) and I learned exactly when the position opened up. My resume and things got sent straight to him. I got a Skype interview a couple of weeks later, and I got accepted the day of the interview!

So I mean… Looking back, it was half luck, half hard work. 

It’s not like the grades and stuff really matter outside of college; Grades are just arbitrary letters, after all. But, I say that to say that I’ve tried to work hard in college even though I’m not at an art school, and that if you’re focused, it doesn’t really matter WHAT you’re good at; but how hard you work and the type of person you are. You can never go to college but be an amazing artist and an amazing person, and if you meet that ONE right person, or if you’re at that ONE correct place at the correct time; amazing things can happen; and I FIRMLY believe that. 

While I was at CN I was talking to someone (I don’t know if it’s best to call her out by name?..) But anyway she was telling me about how some of the artists are found at CN and she told me that Tumblr, YES TUMBLR. Is a HUUUUUUUUGE factor in the hiring of some people! So if you can… POST POST POST! Putting your art out there is the absolute best way to get seen. You NEVER know who’s looking at your artwork, and this website is an amazing platform for sharing, and learning about art. (And as a shameless plug: The blog Artists-Everyday is actually meant for just that ;) check it ouuuuut)

But moving forward; let’s talk about: 

THE INTERVIEW:

The interview to be an intern at CN was both really intimidating, and really comfortable at the same time. I love animation pretty much more than anything, so the idea that a single interview could determine whether or not I got a life-changing opportunity was pretty much one of the most daunting things that I could think of. The fact that I was in southern Illinois RIGHT at the time that I would have had to interview really didn’t help either… It was really scary to me, because it meant that I wasn’t going to be able to interview in person. It was a Skype interview, (a group one at that) and it was my first time ever interviewing for a position online. 

Once I got past all of the initial fear, the interview was smooth sailing. They had already seen my resume and cover letter; so we really just spent a lot of time talking about casual things: my favorite animated movie, what my favorite episode of Clarence was, etc. It wasn’t like your usual interview where they ask “why would we hire you” or “what is your greatest weakness” and I really appreciated that. They weren’t robots, they weren’t the ANIMATION GODS like I was imagining in my head – they were actual people, who happen to love animation, and the interview reflected that. 

I learned that I had gotten the position the day that I interviewed, and I’m SO GLAD I didn’t have to wait any more days, because at that point I was on fire on the inside. II don’t know what the hiring process was like for interns on different shows, so don’t take my word for how long it’ll take if you make it this far) 


MY EXPERIENCE AS AN INTERN/HOW IT’S HELPED ME AS AN ARTIST:

There is no one word to describe how amazing it is to work at Cartoon Network. A lot of CN stuff is “hush hush” high security, and they don’t allow you to take pictures of the inside of the buildings - So I’m not going to say much, other than: It’s magic. Pure magic. But I will say one thing: Free food. AT ALL TIMES. EVERY DAY. 

Working there is one of the most creatively satisfying things I’ve ever done in my life. The people, the atmosphere… it was all so inspiring. I’ve learned more in those past three months than I have in the last two years, and It’s all because I was surrounded by so many people who are better than me. People, who I might add, are some of the greatest, nicest, and most helpful people I’ve met in a long time. Plus, Cartoon Network really goes out on a limb to take care of their employees. 

I got to sit in on voice actors doing their recordings, I got to see storyboard pitches, I got to see animatics and assets for episodes that were unaired, and it was all being created right in front of me by such PASSIONATE people. 

I EVEN GOT TO MEET TOM KENNY. He remembered my name… 

As a production intern you get to see the logistic side of things: and you really grow to appreciate Production and that side of the industry, because without the production team, there would be no show! Even though I want to be a storyboard artist, I now know more about the industry and Cartoon Network as a whole, and it makes me feel much more connected to the shows that I watch on television.

One of the other biggest things about the program is the fact that I got to take storyboard/character design tests for practice, and I got the chance to pitch a show to the studio, in front of the Clarence Crew and even some really important executives! which was an AMAZING opportunity that I learned a TON from. I got amazing feedback, and I had to push myself harder than I’ve ever pushed myself before. Mentally, artistically, and personally. 


IN CONCLUSION

It’s possible. Being an intern at an animation studio is possible. Getting a job in animation is possible. Making friends in animation, and actually feeling like you belong to something you’ve dreamed about since you were a child is POSSIBLE. It doesn’t matter where you go to school, it doesn’t matter if you’re afraid, and it doesn’t matter what you look like. People are drawn to people who are genuine; and if you love animation, or production, or storyboarding or character design, and you work hard and try to really open yourself up artistically; you CAN do it. Take it from the 20 year old black guy who loves anime, video games and cartoons. You can do it. 


I don’t know how many people will see this or how helpful it actually is; but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free to share this info with your followers, and on top of that if you guys EVER have any questions about my experiences or need me to clarify anything for ANY reason you’re absolutely welcome to contact me! 

I know how many people would love to intern, and I know (from experience) how DREADFUL It is to find conducive information about how the process works and how YOU can get an internship. 

Hope you guys stuck with this post till the end, and like I said if you ever have any more questions, (hell, or if you even want to share YOUR art with me… I’m always open!) 

TL;DR:                  This Gif Sums it Up 

-Sean 

Snap Decision

(A chance meeting with a stranger at a bar helps you recover from a bad breakup.)

Warnings: 11000+ words of mostly sex stuff.  Bad ex boyfriends. People doing inadvisable things.  Listen up kids: in real life you should be more cautious about who you let take naked pictures of you! Lots and lots of sex.  If you’ve read my stuff before, you know the drill.  


You thought it would be fun to work in sales after you graduated from university; you would travel around the country, meeting new people, holding meetings in fancy high rise office buildings in big cities, wining and dining clients at gourmet restaurants while you closed deals and made boatloads of money.  The reality was that you were selling industrial wastewater management systems, making a moderate income, while traveling four days a week to factories and chemical refineries in some of the least glamorous locations on earth.  You didn’t mind the work itself, but the evenings alone in small town hotel rooms were dull and disheartening, so you would frequently head out to a local movie theater or neighborhood bar to distract yourself from the loneliness on the road.   

 It was pouring down rain outside and you decide to run to the closest place you could find to grab a drink, rather than risk driving around and getting lost.  That’s how you found yourself sitting alone at the bar of the Applebee’s restaurant that was adjacent to your hotel, sipping on something called a Blue Hawaiian, in a town you couldn’t even remember the name of.   

Unruly children sat with their families having dinner in the nearby booths, while innocuously bland pop songs played overhead.  You took one sip of the cloyingly sweet blue cocktail in front of you and immediately regretted your decision to come here tonight. Given the lousy week you had experienced, you would have been better off drinking cheap whiskey at a dive bar filled with unapologetic alcoholics.  Here, the family friendly atmosphere mixed with the empty promises of a fruity cocktail that was designed to trick you into thinking you were on a tropical island vacation instead of in your real life.  Your real crappy life. 

You had totally blown the sale today.  The clients had a million questions about the technical specifications of the products you were trying to sell, but you kept tripping over your words and making yourself sound like an idiot.  You blamed your poor work performance on lack of sleep.  And you blamed the lack of sleep on your boyfriend, David.  Actually, he was your ex-boyfriend now.  After more than a year together, you dumped him for cheating on you.  

He claimed he was faithful, but you were certain he was lying.  He never picked up his phone when you called him from out on the road.  He would eventually call you back, but his stories about where he was and what he was doing always sounded a little off.  The final blow came when your friend Stephanie told you she saw him going into a movie theater with another girl.  David claimed Stephanie was mistaken and that you were just paranoid and jealous for no reason.  You wanted to believe him, but deep down you were sure that Stephanie was right.  All the unresolved questions you had about what David was doing while you were working could easily be answered if he had been cheating on you.  David cried when you told him it was over, he begged you to reconsider, but you were resolute and just walked away.

That had been a week ago, and every day since then, you questioned whether or not you made the right decision.  You had no hard proof that he had been unfaithful.  Sure, Stephanie said she saw him, but she only saw from a distance.  Maybe she was mistaken.  Maybe it was just someone who looked like David.

“Is this seat taken?”

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The thing about Damianos Akielos is that he is a Hot Commodity. There’s probably a 30 page waiting list out there of people who want a chance to date him. The only problem is that since the age of fourteen, he’s never been single for more than a week. A week!

“He sounds great,” the bartender says, polishing a glass. Laurent realises that he’s been speaking out loud. He is drunk. He also realises that this bartender - Rick, or Mick, or Mike, or whatever his nametag says, words are a little blurry at this point - doesn’t realise the magnitude of the situation at hand.

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⇁ dick n’ go (m)

Originally posted by is-your-mac-fully-loaded

pairing ⇁  Seokjin x Reader

 genre  smut, crack || shopping for dicc!au

warnings  male objectification, superficiality, fuckgirl!reader, dirty talk, and cocky!jin if that isn’t your thing

word count  12.8k 

After trooping through a series of horrendous first dates and mediocre hookups, you were convinced you would never find a man capable of satisfying your needs. Your friend recommends you try a slightly unconventional method to remedy your bad luck.  

alternatively: seokjin has a five star dick and you decide to give it a go

Keep reading

this a post (complete with links, pictures and other tips) dedicated to all of you struggling through what seems to be a hell they call high school. i get it. i struggled through it, all my friends endured it and you’re probably in the same boat of wanting to throw yourself down each flight of stairs that presents itself. but please don’t do that! i’m here to help, friend!! this is a comprehensive list of all the things i learned from my time in high school. i hope this helps at least one person out there! as always, if you guys have any questions, my ask box is open :)

before we get into it: this is a link to my study routine because some people have been asking for it and don’t have a section in this post to put it under so i’m just going to leave it here.

self-care advice:

okay so, i’m going to be completely upfront with you. high school is hard. it’s especially hard if you want to do well. i can honestly say that senior year took its toll in more ways than one when i didn’t take care of myself or pay attention to my body’s needs. so here are some self-care tips to keep you happy & healthy.

1. eat a lot & stay hydrated

when you’re trying to finish a 2000 word essay, or pretty much all but shoving toothpicks in your eyes to stay up studying for an exam the next day, food is your best friend. food helps your brain work better and you’ll find that your concentration levels increase when you study on a filled stomach. there are lots of brain foods out there like dark chocolate, nuts, vegetable sticks etc. but don’t forget to reward yourself with a food of your choice after you feel like you’ve done a lot of work. couple all of this with lots of water to keep you feeling refreshed.

2. pamper yourself

i am completely aware of the fact that high school students don’t have the time to go to a spa or sauna every other weekend. however, you deserve a nice long bath or a good face scrub every now and then. other things you can indulge in:

  • sheet masks
  • body lotion (especially the nice smelling ones)
  • scented candles
  • hand cream
  • nail polish
  • eye masks
  • a good facial cleanser
  • serums
  • bath bombs

and the list goes on. trust me, being physically relaxed plays a big part in how your brain performs. if you feel a bit gross, take a shower before you start studying. it’s little things like that that’ll make a massive difference.

3. sleep

everyone says it, i know. but it’s so important. if you don’t get sleep the night before because you were cramming for tomorrow morning’s exam, go home and take a nap in the afternoon. get some shuteye in one form or another. pls. 

4. believe in yourself

it sounds so weird, and it’s usually not included in posts like these but in my opinion it’s one of, if not the most, important factor in high school success. think about it. if you’re spending those years of your life doubting whether your answer is correct, whether your science report is as good as the next person’s or whether your friends truly like you, you’re using up a lot of energy that could be used for things that’ll actually benefit you in the long run. that’s why my blog is titled “breathe” - because that’s exactly what you have to do, and sometimes that’s the only thing you can do in order to keep going. chin up. you’re going to be okay. you’re doing great. i believe in you. and you should believe in you too. 

organisational tips:

1. plan everything

i’m telling you now, get some kind of planning system. whether you want to use a bullet journal, a planner, a diary, an app, a computer program or your grandma’s paper napkins, seriously just pick something. when you have seven different classes and you have assessment for each, i highly doubt you’re going to remember every task that goes along with them. so, just take my word for it and plan plan plan.

here’s a link to how i used my planner back in high school. 

i also recommend a whiteboard monthly calendar so you can keep track of all of the important dates you need to remember.

2. post-its

i love love love post-its. i honestly can’t stop myself from buying them - especially the cute animal ones. post-its saved my butt when keeping my books organised and easy to navigate. you can use them to separate different semesters, chapters, lectures, topics etc. i also use post-its to mark any questions, sections or subjects that i’m unsure of so that i can ask my teacher about it the next day. i then write down the answer or explanation on a separate sticky note and stick it next to the question so i can refer back to it when studying for exams.

+ look at all the different kinds of cute post-its you can get!

so you can obviously get all your standard, basic post-its.

buuutttttttt, you can also get all of these fun ones too! they make studying a lot easier and a lot more fun, trust me. 

3. figure out a system that works for you

so in high school, i liked having notebooks for each class and having an accordion folder to hold all my papers. that worked perfectly fine for me but there may be other methods that work better for you. i suggest, especially if you’re just about to start or just started high school, that you experiment with different organisational systems to find which one suits you best.

i’ve got a page dedicated to my favourite supplies and how i use them. i hope you can get some inspiration from it in some way. 

motivational tips:

1. quotes

go on google, tumblr, facebook, instagram, weheartit or whatever tickles your fancy and search up some quotes that inspire you. it sounds really corny, but i’m telling you that it works. i had three quotes above my desk and they always used to motivate me when all i could think about was crashing into the comfort of my blankets. i would pick quotes and write/draw them out myself so i could add my own spin on them. i used:

  • “make hermione proud”
  • “effort only fully releases its rewards to those who refuse to quit”
  • “you have galaxies in your head, don’t let anyone tell you you cannot shine”

ta-da!

2. studyblr

this community! it’s the best motivation in my opinion. whenever i was in a procrastination slump, i would scroll through the studyblr tag or scroll through studyblr blogs and before i knew it i’d be ready to study for another hour. it’s honestly one of the most helpful resources, and if it’s available to you then i definitely recommend that you use it!

3. music

get yourself a study playlist. it’s amazing what music can do for your mood. add a mix of songs that will get you pumped to blitz through that 5-star difficulty chemistry question and songs that will help you concentrate when you need to find the right word for that english essay. studying when it’s dead quiet is weirdly deafening to me and i can’t concentrate if there isn’t some sort of background noise. just add whatever helps you - whether it be panic!, classical or in my case, kpop hehe

i have a playlist suggestion on my blog if you want to try listening to some new songs. :)

that’s all, folks!

in all honesty, high school isn’t going to be a walk in the park if you want to succeed. it takes dedication, a lot of persistence and a consistent work ethic. you need to know what you’re aiming for, and you need to want it just as much, if not more, than the person who wants the same thing. my high school experience was stressful and anxiety inducing, but i can honestly say that the rewards on the flip side are very much worth it. you’ve got this. you’ll do a lot more than survive. you will succeed. 

you can do it! i believe in you! 

stay motivated x

Plagues Against Mankind That We Shouldn’t Have To Deal With At This Point What The Huck

  • When your hair looks beyond amazing but no matter how many pictures you take it looks bad on film so you’re left alone in your room at 4:43 am suffering because you’ll now never have photographic evidence of the time your hair looked like it was styled by the angel’s themselves just in time for you to rush off to the Royal Ball. Only you will ever have this knowledge. You know the hair will be a mess by the time you see another human being again. Cursed.
  • Un-skippable ads in the MIDDLE of videos. what the hell.
  • When you order a Bloody Mary but it just tastes like straight tomato juice and nothing else
  • When you’re romantically frustrated and No One Wants To Take One For The Team And Just Date You Already
  • M. Night Shyamalan announcing a live action Avatar: The Last Airbender Two in 2017 the Year the Lord Abandoned Us, Apparently
  • The unseen forces that walk and jump on your roof all night long. They sound too heavy to be squirrels or raccoons. You never see anything up there when you check outside. You go back inside and the noises immediately resume, only this time you can now hear them laughing at you. Why Cant The Invisible Edgelords Remain Calm
  • Those birds that just dive right in front of your moving car
  • Owls in places and times where there Shouldn’t Be Owls
  • Donald Trump
  • When the dude living in your walls won’t stop blasting his techno bop music 
  • Having to use your rock pet to kill attacking bugs because you have no other means of defense 
  • the fact that I don’t know how to access podcasts and if I ask I’ll sound stupid
  • When your glasses are always smudged or dirty no matter what the hell you do seriously how the hell has no one invented something to stop this yet
  • When the Slurpee machines are always out of blue raspberry 
  • When people reference ‘the office’ while talking to you but you don’t get the joke because you’ve never seen ‘the office’ and when you tell them that you’ve never seen ‘the office’ they look at you as if you personally skinned their great grandmother alive
  • That…the fricking,,,,,,warm thing in the air that makes my body moist. Why that there. unnecessary attack from the planet. why. I want sweaters not sweat 
  • the fact that I Have No One To See Spider-Man:Homecoming With And I Am Distressed
  • When the wild rabbits don’t pick up on your psychic communication that you are one of them and they run from you
  • When the wine is expired 
  • When your favorite flowers only bloom for like one week a year
  • The fact that you are currently not eating chocolate 
  • Donald Trump
  • The fact that there currently is not Buffalo Chicken Dip entering my body
  • Those people that walk up moving escalators 
  • The guy that dresses up as Sulley in Disney World that grabbed my ass when I took a picture with him
  • Every Villain Is Lemon 
  • When all of your facebook memories are boring or depressing
  • The Cicadas That Are Laying In Wait
  • Those people that are rude to waiters and waitresses 
  • When you wanna write something but you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling that no one will ever wanna read it so What’s The Point
  • Batteries dying
  • The Vampire That Twerks Behind You Every Time You Look In A Mirror But You Can’t See Him Because He’s A Vampire But You Have The Overwhelming Feeling Of Knowledge That There’s A Vampire Twerking Behind You
  • The fact that Owen Wilson will never truly know we Value Him
  • When you’re not even making noise but a random old man complains about how much noise you’re making
  • The fact that there isn’t a 24/7 Law and Order: SVU channel 
  • People who can’t make up their minds about Dr. Phil
  • Cramps
  • really just wanna circle back here to the fact that my hair looks amazing right now I look like a 16th century maiden who is escaping her tower to attend the ball where she must slay the beast to save the kingdom this is my authentic past life coming through to make my hair look effortlessly gorgeous but the camera is not cooperating and No One Will Ever Truly Know 

  • Good tv shows getting cancelled 
  • People that unironically wanna have sex with Bill Cipher 
  • Being awake at 5:36 in the morning
  • The glowing orb that refuses to move out of your sock drawer 
  • Those little green men that sometimes escape out of jars in your cabinets and you gotta battle them for dominance of your own kitchen or else they’ll add too much paprika to all your meals…like, what’s their deal?
  • cats that don’t love you back
  • papayas 
  • Clovers that don’t have four leafs 
  • When you have to have matching socks to look professional 
  • ageing 
  • the T-Rex that insists on stomping down the street every time you’re trying to sleep
  • Aliens being hidden by the government 
  • When you rhyme by accident 
  • When you try to rhyme on purpose but can’t think of anything 
  • The fact that I just had to google how to spell ‘rhyme’
  • Gender Stereotypes 
  • The decreasing firefly population 
  • 7th graders that constantly stick their fingers through circles as a means of silently making sex jokes
  • Weeds that are taller than me I must be the Dominant Inconvenience
  • Fahrenheit vs Celsius
  • Telemarketers
  • Those guys that come up to your house to try to get you to buy Verizon Fios 
  • We’re Running Out Of Chocolate 
  • When John Oliver Steals Words Out Of Your Mouth Before You Can Even Think Them Like The Creature From Midnight
  • Zac Efron not showing up to the HSM 10th anniversary party
  • People who just really causally do splits or impossible stretches while your tensed up immobile ass is forced to watch
  • When You start doing squats but it starts making your butt get smaller and you grow distressed
  • People that are, like, unironically mean to other people. What the f o c k
  • All my socks developing holes in them
  • Crushes that go nowhere
  • the fact that no one ever thinks to respect the soft, gentle Molepeople that have been quietly helping our civilization along without reward for hundreds of centuries 
  • Werewolves getting mistaken for Skinwalkers 
  • The giant ball of flesh under the ocean that’s just waiting to destroy us all
  • People Who Don’t Get Your Sense Of Humor 
  • No one acknowledging your selfies
  • Hunters and Cryptozoologists not taking the hint that Bigfoot simply isn’t interested 
  • The fact I can’t figure out a clever way to end this post



  • Mankind Becoming the Plague Itself 
  • Conan O’Brien and his immense hidden power that everyone chooses to foolishly ignore. One day, he will reveal his true form and strike.
Wait For Me To Come Home - Sebastian x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by mebeingbored1

A/N - Got myself into the little sebby family mood again. Featuring Isabella as always aha.

Sebastian x Reader - You are completely secure in your relationship with Sebastian, until you start reading some articles that make you doubt yourself. Sebastian gets rid of your insecurities by helping you relive some of your memories together.

Warnings: Fluff and angst  - It’s a long one.

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1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again

anonymous asked:

What are your HCs if someone were to find Victor and Yuuri's very raunchy homemade sex tape? Would they be able to look at Yuuri Katsuki the same way again

It takes Yuuri a moment to reconcile the number of alert bubbles on his lock screen with a reason to panic, but when he unlocks his phone and spies the little red bubble with "529″ above the messages icon, a cold hand has gripped him by the diaphragm and begun squeezing a frigid reality into his chest.

With shaking hands, he opens his missed calls—658, what the hell—and skips right to the voice mails that have stuffed his inbox completely full. Beside him, Victor mumbles something about grass into his pillow.

Everybody he’s seemingly ever met has tried to reach him at some point during the night, and their messages are all variations of the same theme.

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3

To Build A Home


Pairing: Jensen x Reader 

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Smut, little plot

A/N: I’ve been thinking about this since the moment the video posted on Facebook. Then @impala-dreamer started harassing me. In all fairness, I tortured her first, but semantics. Thankfully, @justjensenanddean created these lovely gifs and NOW I’m gonna be smutin’ all up in this joint. 

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A list of quotes my band director has said

This martini isn’t dirty enough

We need a stronger bottom

Think of the ding dong, I need a lot of ding dong

Have your parents pick you up at 9:010

I want it tasty

Yeah I’m not liking the uterus either

I want you guys to learn beef

Judd: The band is only as good as the weakest link.
Anthony: Fuck we’re gonna lose

Don’t try not to lose time

How can I breathe without no air

I changed my mind, I’m not changing my mind

We got six on the bottom and five on top.

Play an A# instead of an B-flat

Try not to sound like a duck

You fracked your climactic one note of glory

Mikey, stop being pointy

Ziggy, stop hugging Malakai

You can’t frack and never return

If you’re not making Juddy proud, you’re wrong

Stop being an ice cream truck

The leaning tower of Luke Choi

You can all take a breath together after your ding dong

Add a curvy linear

Try not to have a bulge in the front

You need to have a strong d

You’re teasing me melodically

It’s getting a little tight in Darren land

The ding dong is being lost

Ziggy and Daniel are joining the ding dong

Your higher note on the ding dong has even more stress

The ding dong was well projected

I don’t hear enough of the dong

Now we know where we are at. THANK GOD

It needs to be the creepiest 3 blind mice you’ve ever heard

It’s just not big enough

Just grab me, it is destiny

Add weight, like my stomach

Finger the air

Jesus that sounds like cattle

We are not playing Frogger with our instruments

Yo, what’s with that gangster hat

We’re Swiss cheese in the clarinet block

There’s just too much body language, and I don’t appreciate it

If that amp was your mother, she would be proud

It sounds so much better when we don’t breathe

Even though I changed the music, I really haven’t changed the music

You need to have confidence on those bitches

Breathe through 8 counts without taking a breath

Are you a G?

Dylan, you’re an ass

You need to have laser eyes on Lexi

We have to be more smart at rehearsal

I’m a Facebook like Nazi

Dylan, sound like Mickey Mouse

Barisoon

Will’s on fire, somebody put him out

Is there a way to pause without pausing it

I’m literally turning into a parrot

I want Kaitlin on top and everyone else under her

More trumpets, more sex

Hey there J-dog(Justin)

This is Amish paradise

WOAH PIANO

You need to listen for Lexi’s cut-off

Stop yabbadabbading

You’re not good

French horns, don’t put your hand in the bell

I’m hearing wrong fingers

Turn on a new hat

Finger with me

Play it as written, nice and long

Please stop touching each other

You’re the Toungey McToungerson I’ve been hearing the whole time

Just pull it out

You’re not matching the windses dynamics

There’s 2 counts of horse

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is, oh look at that, lunch detention! Congratulations Nikko, Donovan, and Nathan!

Oooo, that was a big one

A bunch of you guys need to be the icing on the cake

*plays invisible banjo passionately*

*sings* IN HIS PANTSSSS

Here’s my time for glory

Imagine you’re in an algebra class, taking a test on trigonometry

Sing your finger one two ready go

I just wanna touch it

*stops band* Jesus, guys

Start at number C

You can play those notes more fuller

You sound like an elementary band learning how to play mallets for the first time

Oh Jesus

Never blink

Jesus, try again

I changed my mind, I haven’t changed my mind

It did got better

Lower my thing

You’re talking into the horn

Play the ding bum

I know you wanna shake it

Hey guys can we get rid of that chair? No chair left behind

Pull out more, more than the D would normally take

We learned how to use our tongues today. You do 16th notes until you are happy

The good ol’ sleight of glove

SUCK IN YOUR DIAPHRAGM MARGARET
MARGARET THIS IS FOR YOU

Take Nikko’s stick and hit it right on the downbeat

I have a guide to fingering and tonguing

That’s enough men for 2 months

Mrs. Mocha and myself might get a little excited

We can’t waste any time (plays G minor as a round twice)

You are a ninja

No girly birds!!!!!!!!

Shake this as you’re doing the wawa

I don’t hear no wawawa

Thunder where are you

Get your life together!

Jacob, you’re nothing

Be smart

I have other beaters in my office

YOU ARE DIFFERENT

You come when it’s time

There’s a lot of ding dongs, I feel like hostess

F all

Speak now or forever hold your run through

Play good

I’m honking my horn, get out of my way

Blend to the beef

Someone strike a D

I AM NOT RELAXED

The hunchback of Notre Justin

Don’t think of a snare, think of an instrument

Oh hello! What’s for dinner? COMPOUND TIME

I feel like I should rent a babysitter and put you in a play pen

Get better

We’re not in a smoking club here saying *cough cough cough* I’ve been doing this for 20 years, like there are like 5 band kids that need cough drops

Right now, you’re playing like a drunken sailor ballerina

*sings* be dahh boo dahhh DINNER TIME

It’s hard for Ryan because he has the runs

It sounds emotional, but it’s the wrong emotion

CUT, wow that’s a mess

Margaret you sound like the recorder version of Titanic on YouTube

You want candy, I want notes

Make it more shapey

FLINGER FLINGER FLINGER. I say FLINGER because it’s not quite there. It’s like you’re playing with octopus hands. Tentacles

This is the sound of not music

We are under the sea

Put your hand on your finger

How to tame your dragon

Right now, you’re a nike check mark

I feel like I’m feeding bread to a duck

We have a lot of articulation problems in the goat heard

*screams* I’M SO MYSTERIOUS

It’s so bad, I feel like I’m on American Airline

Sound like a butterfly. FLY AWAY TUCKER, FLY AWAY

We’re not going to the zoo trombones, no butterflies today

Ba be ba da FORTSZANDO Ba be ba da AAHHH

WOAH! Wait that wasn’t Kaitlin, liar

Oh so you do have it on your stand. Hm. Two liars today *squinches eyes*

BEEEEOOOWEEE

I want to hear a C, not an AAAAAAAA

Your guys’ bad phrasing gave him a bloody nose

Stop looking at me with your glossed over eyes

Why not, HA you thought

Here comes the Dylan!

Ding dong ding dong, don’t be a ding dong

I don’t want to expose everyone right now, but it has to be done

YELL AT ME STEPHANIE. LIKE ALL OF THE ANGER I’VE SAID

I guess I don’t yell enough

There’s limited times when we do that, like the McRib

It sounds like you’re in the bathroom

Don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Clarinet

This is like a daycare or something

It sounds like dinner time

Guys it sounds dorky

*turns to clarinets* bitch

I’ve always wanted to adopt Tucker

Light beer is like pee

Wow Hector, you’re like Jenni Craig

I was a lethal weapon

You have a secret affection for your clarinet

Figure out your life

It makes us sound like the asthma band

“I deleted your number from my phone month and months ago so that I wouldn’t text you in the late night. I know you sleep well, and fully throughout the night, and you grew sad and distanced yourself each morning you woke to find my frustration, years too late. I unfriended you on Facebook because you liked all the posts I put up, the happy ones, the good ones, the fun ones. I trained my brain to forget your last name. I taught myself not to think of your eyes. Or the shape of your collar bones. I now can proudly say I don’t think of you late at night when I stare at the light coming in my bedroom windows.”

I’m trying to slow time, and stay still enough so that I don’t wreck anything. That I don’t turn any of the good let in my life into something negative. 

I’m writing everything down lately. Because I don’t trust my memory to catch all the good and bad. It’s like a recently mended net, about to test it’s new strength. 

I hate writing K’s and G’s in my handwriting. I like writing L’s and S’s. I bought a spray bottle at the dollar store and filled it up with water and eucalyptus essential oil. I’ve been burning lavender incense and spraying my pillows with the eucalyptus water. I’ve rearranged my bookcase, and listened to an old FM radio. I searched for a station that didn’t have commercials for about 20 mins. My internet had been down some 24 hours at that point and I just needed a little something in my ears.

I’ve been gone 11 days, and now my cats don’t leave me alone. They come, twirling and dancing between my feet as I walk around surveying this apartment I missed. Each tiny and large thing put in a place that feels right, at least for now.  

In college I would repaint my studio apartment’s walls in the middle of the night because I needed a bit of a change. I would rearrange pillows, shelves and furniture because it felt better thinking about how I’d never been kissed. How I’d never known the touch of a trusted lover. Now I do it because it feels good to seek and find solace and comfort here, away from the world outside. 

I’m not sorry that I’ve allowed certain men take root in my memories. Idaho with his grumbling, growling, and breathtaking smile, his declarations. Brown eyes with the way his mouth moved when he talked and his tattoos, and his love of achingly soft music. The midwest gent for his attentive nature, patience, and his stoicism. My southern best friend who made me laugh like no other, with goofy memorable moments of pride and care, his strength. My contractor ex, nationally ranked rugby boyfriend who lived in the Poconos and who made me feel delicate, womanly, but who trusted me with a hammer and power tools. The tall gangly boy who grew into a handsome man, one night to take my hand late at night in his sports car only to whispered beautiful words of praise besides a lake under the moonlight some miles later. 

But that’s because I sometimes forget the bad associated with each. Or the bad I brought to them. 

I’m sitting on the floor, my legs have fallen asleep and I know I should shed my clothes and crawl into my bed. I should make a list of all I want to accomplish tomorrow, and I should, I should, I should, I should. 

I think I’ll soak in the tub, or change my sheets and get into bed and play a song that starts slow and sad, but builds in my chest like road trip views where you get surprised by a great landscape after the same sad thing miles and miles. Just one more hill. Just one more hike, one more mile, until you’re closer. I’m closer.

Everyday, I am thankful for those who have loved me, and who have allowed me to love them, even if it wasn’t enough for either of us in the long run. Because I’m learning to love myself more, and more. Learning to call myself out on my bullshit. Learning that exciting things happen every day, that I can make exciting things happen, worthwhile things.  

That one day, doesn’t matter how soon, all these memories, all this growth will mean a more successful relationship with another extraordinary person. With my extraordinary person. Who will grow with me. That will take me as I am, a person capable of greatness, even if that greatness is just great according to each of us, and the small things I do to affect others positively. 

I just have to breathe in, make several small movements that turn into larger ones, exhale, then do it all over again. 

A Mostly Decent Proposal, Cat/Kara, Rating: PG

Kara tries everything. She drops Cat’s name. Lena’s name. Supergirl’s name. The snotty publicist turns her down each time with increasing relish. 

“The tastings are for engaged couples only, Miss Danvers.”

And it’s not like she doesn’t try Alex. It’s maybe a little insensitive to ask given that Maggie hasn’t exactly given an answer to the spur-of-the-moment proposal yet, but dammit Kara is feeling sorry for herself. Now the best cake on the entire West Coast is being kept from her by the sad fact of being single.

Not that she would have married Mon-El. Honestly it had been effort enough to teach him to chew with his mouth closed. But it had been less lonely, less Kara left behind, less table for one and going to bed early and alone. 

She posts to Facebook in desperation, hoping Winn or James will volunteer to play her fake fiancé and grab one of the exclusive tasting appointments. There’s only four left today, and Kara wants one with a need that’s bordering on obsession. 

Before anyone can reply and save the day, a text from Cat arrives. 

Assistant AWOL. Have my car out front in 5. Meet me there.

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Farewell, Pretty Little Liars.

Today is the day that we must finally say goodbye to Pretty Little Liars. With its never-ending theories and constant renewals, the PLL endgame always seemed like an intangible, abstract and theoretical concept that is just so far away, that it will simply never come. It feels so surreal to say that today is that day, which again, over the years, was never in sight. I thought watching Pretty Little Liars would just be some light, weekly, background entertainment. On June 8 2010, I did not truly know what crazy rollercoaster I had stumbled upon. Through numerous ups and downs, these past 7 years have certainly been unforgettable. If you told me seven years ago that a television show will have such a positive impact on my life, I would have laughed at you and called you dramatic. Tell me that today, and I’ll smile in appreciation at the positive influence and power a television show can bestow upon its viewers.

Not every show makes it to seven seasons, particularly mystery shows. Seven years is a long time. I started watching this show when I was 13, and I am now 19. (I realise I am probably very young in comparison to most other PLL fans!) Just to visually see this: Pretty Little Liars was with me while I was 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19. These are arguably some of the most important years of one’s life. As I grew, PLL grew too, in a literal sense, as we got a time jump where the characters matured, but also in figurative sense, since the stories gradually shifted from being high-school oriented to dark and twisted themed through a demented dollhouse and a psychologically straining board game. All while PLL was on the air, I graduated from primary school and high school, started university, got my driver’s license, my first job, credit card, car, gone overseas by myself, and made life-long friendships. Achieving all that never was easy, but it was made easier by PLL. If I ever struggled in my personal development, I always had PLL to fall back upon for psychological stability and security, aside from general entertainment. A part of me sees the end of PLL as if the training wheels are coming off my bike: for 7 years, I was learning how to become a young man, and now that I finally am one, I no longer need this safety rock that is PLL in order to continue developing.

This long, personal post is dedicated to me and my seven-year relationship with Pretty Little Liars.

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Facebook Reveal

So I wrote a supercorp THING based on this post because it made me irrationally happy: 

(Original post here for credit)

I thought a facebook crack reveal would be hilarious and fun, and apparently so did a few of you SO, I did it. Enjoy <3 :) 

@supercorptrashed @nevertobeships @project-alice

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