i pictured this going a lot better in my mind

Travelin’ Soldier Part 3

Summary: Reader is currently deployed in the army to an undisclosed combat area. She has been deployed for nearly two years. Anxiously awaiting her return is her husband and brother as they film for Supernatural. Letter comes informing the family that she may not be heard from for awhile and soon devastating news comes.

Characters: husband!Jensen x Reader, Jared x Reader (Twins), Gen, Shepherd and Thomas.

Words: 2927

Disclaimer: I do not own the title of the song Travelin’ Soldier by the Dixie Chicks at all. I simply thought it could be a little fighting. Not hate towards Danneel either, as this is simply fiction and not real. I do not own any songs in this either.

Warnings: possible swearing, war and A LOT of angst. Death.

Author: Caitsy

Tagging a few at the end. Send an ask to be tagged, or request something.

A/N:  I want to thank you so much for the support you have sent to Ash and I! I apologize in advance at what is in this.

Part One Part Two


Originally posted by lukasswaldenbeck

The day had come to the sheer agony of Jensen. It was the day that the door would be barricaded both the front door and hi-their bedroom door. Thankfully with a little help from prescribed sleeping medicine, courtesy of a doctor his parents dragged him to, he had slept most of the day away. His eyes fluttered instinctively looking to the other side of the bed, her side. Knowing she wouldn’t be there he still felt a sharp pain of disappointment and depression.

The last anniversary Y/N and him shared it had been a rather off day outside. The weather changed more than a few times until they were forced to take shelter under a gazebo in a park. They had laughed watching children running towards their parents into a mass of vehicles. It was the first time they brought up children.

Jensen had known the minute he met her that he would marry that girl and have a family. It was amusing how they had met, it was just after he auditioned for Supernatural that he bumped into her in a coffee shop. It was like they were destined to meet and fall in love. He hated to think about it but they maybe they were destined to lose each other also.

Nervous energy had sent Jensen to the cafe. He was agitated waiting if he had gotten the role in this crazy, intriguing television show. The concept had enthralled him and he knew he had to try out for the part of Sam Winchester. He remembered seeing a pretty tall guy in the building when he had finished his audition, he felt like he had seen the guy before.

Sitting at a table in the very back a female hummed reading a book. She would admit the civilian clothing she was she saw made her a tad bit uncomfortable. She was killing time waiting for her plane back to her hometown, there had been a malfunction causing an emergency landing. That was last night.

She shifted uncomfortable at how loud the room was. She wasn’t used to such loud chatter, in fact when a cup shattered she flinched scanning the area looking for enemies. Y/N was having a very hard time switching from combat to civilian. She quickly noticed a male looking around the shop. There was no open seats but the one in front of her.

Next thing she knew the man in awkwardly standing in front of her holding a bagel and coffee. Jensen wasn’t sure if it was entirely because she sat at the only table with an open chair or that she intrigued him.

“Excuse me, is there anyone sitting there?” The dirty blonde, green eyes man questioned.

“Um. No.” Y/N cleared her through shifting in her army fatigues. She hadn’t had time to change, “You can sit.”

“Are you a…” Jensen trailed off noticing her military uniform.

“Private Y/N Padalecki of the United States.” Y/N smiled as the man sat down, “What’s your name?”

“Jensen Ackles.” Jensen grinned sitting down, “Did you just get back?”

“I did. I’m waiting for a plane to go home. I’m returning from a deployment.”

“How long were you gone?” Jensen asked leaning towards her.

“I was gone for nine months.” Y/N smiled.

They talked a lot, having a break when Jensen got the role of Dean in the the show, before continuing on with their conversation. It was the first time in a very long time that Y/N relaxed and Jensen forgot he about the role. All that mattered was her.

The bagel and coffee were forgotten in the time they talked.


Y/N’s Sergeant Elias Michaels had made it his personal mission to turn over every rock and leaf to find one of his best soldiers. In the last six months his unit had been assignment to find her; evidence leading to this was from Sgt. Michaels personal time. The evidence showed that Y/N Ackles was still alive and the unit was under strict orders they were to keep it under wraps. They were closing in on the supposed location of the soldier.

“Sir! We have eyes on the location!” Private Johnson called out.

“Get ears. I want ears on the location!” Sgt. Michaels ordered before moving towards his office to call his superior.

“Sgt. Michaels I would like some good news.” The female said picking the phone up, “I’m getting annoyed at the lack of news coming from you.”

“Ma’am we have eyes on the location.”

“Well it’s about time.”


Dear Y/N,

Time flies when you have three kids! I still can’t believe it in a way, it feels like just yesterday we were sneaking out of the house. You remember how wasted we got that night? I think I had a hangover for three days. I went to your place a couple days ago to clean it. Jensen doesn’t care anymore. He’s having a hard time coping, he won’t write letter like I suggested and he won’t see a therapist either. I think if he does the situation will be come entirely real.

His parents managed to drag him to a doctor to get sleeping pills. Got I miss you so much. This is going to hurt you as much as me. The boys don’t bring you up anymore. I found our matching shirts from freshman year for halloween. The amount of laughs we got was something special. I remember protecting you and you protecting me. Sometimes I swear we were more than twins. We were best friends and we will always be twins and best friends.

Oh I watched Gen show my little angel a picture of you. It brought tears to my face when she grinned at the picture and babbled away. I know it sounds stupid but I feel like you’re there. We’re making sure you talk about you a lot more. Gen and I had a fight out that.

It was loud and horrible but when she said, ‘just because she’s gone doesn’t mean her memory has to die too!’. It was the first night in a VERY long time I spent the night on the couch. It cleared my mind though. I’m introducing my little girl to you, just not the way I want to.

Tom and Shep want to go to the park. I better get ready. I’ll write you soon.

With Eternal Love,

Your twin, best friend and protector.

Jared placed the pen down before putting a small picture of his little darling into the envelope along with the envelope before he began to leave for his parents.


They hadn’t had any news on a funeral. The parents of Y/N were stonewalled when they asked why their child wasn’t given a funeral yet. Months had passed since her death announcement and there was no funeral. It gave Sharon and Gerald false hope that their daughter was coming home. In fact Sharon stood in Y/N childhood room holding a sweater up to her face. No longer did it smell like her but it was the sweater she wore the Christmas before Jensen and her engagement.

“Honey.” Sharon’s husband softly said from the door way, “The therapist said we should pack this stuff-“

“NO!” Sharon yelled turning to see him in a suit.

Gerald’s heart broke more at the agony his wife was in. She was still gorgeous in the dark dress that was both modest and perfect on her. She was barefoot with her heels carelessly on the ground. Slowly he pulled her into his arms as the tears fell from her makeup free face.

“Sh.” Gerald whispered.

“I to-told her not to-“ Sharon’s voice broke, “I begged her to come back and stay. I didn’t want to go in the first place!”

“I know.”

“Mom?” Jared’s concerned voice asked. The image entirely shattered his heart as he pulled his parents close. His parents looked much older than they were given the circumstances causing the emotional suffering.

Drawing in a deep breath Jared pulled back viewing his mom with the tears stained on her cheeks. In that moment he found strength inside of him to go through the day. They were waiting for Jensen to arrive before they set off. Jared didn’t trust Jensen to drive himself all the way.

“Hello?” Jensen called from downstairs confused as to why it was empty.

“We’re up here J!” Jared called already hearing the stairs creak as his best friend made his way up. Jensen visibly shook before tensing at the open door.

“We should go.” Jensen’s emotionally void voice said turning to head back down the stairs.

Sharing a look with his parents he followed his friend outside the house where he pulled him into a hug. He had never seen Jensen so broken in their friendship. They had lost so much so quick.

The short ride was pregnant with sadness. Jared and Jensen in one car while his parents and Megan were in the other. Jensen’s parents were meeting there with his siblings also. Gen wasn’t able to come because Tom was sick with the flu and Shep was recovering from it.

They walked into a large room where they were stunned to see Sergeant Michaels in front of them. He smiled sadly coming towards them.

“Can we have a word?” He questioned. Getting a small nod from Gerald they wall walked to a room with a long table.

“I’m Sergeant Elias Michaels. I was Y/N’s Sergeant if you weren’t aware with it.” The man stated a taking a seat at the head of the table.

“We know.” Jensen said tiredly, “Can we please get to the funeral.”

“That’s what I want to talk about.” Sgt Michaels sighed folding his hands. The room grew tense from the sheer amount of confusion.

“Excuse me?” Jared questioned confused.

“Roughly seven months ago we received intel that Private Y/N Ackles was still alive. Before you interrupt I would like to explain. It became personal for me to find her, the girl had a spark.”

“W-What?” Sharon said.

Every member of Y/Ns face paled at the news in complete shock and fury. Seven months still believing she was dead and they didn’t know? Jensen’s hands grasped the table with enough force to cause his knuckles to go bone white.

“Last month we found her location. She’s alive but currently at this moment it’s too sensitive to bring her to America.”

“SHE’S ALIVE!?” Jensen roared in complete rage. His breathing deepened to the point that he made his character look like a pussy.

“Sir. Sit down and we can talk about this further.”

“No. You had seven months to tell me. Do you know how much AGONY I’ve been in? I thought my wife was DEAD!” Jensen exclaimed feeling tears well up even more.

The room exploded with Jared dragging a fighting Jensen outside of the building. It didn’t matter how much rage everyone felt but he couldn’t take the chance of Jensen assaulting someone in the military

“Are you insane?!” Jared screamed shoving him in the large grounds.

“Are you not upset that your sister has been alive this entire time?!” Jensen retorted, “I CHEATED on her.”

“It was a date. You didn’t take her to bed and you didn’t kiss her.” Jared screamed back, “You didn’t cheat! We all thought she was dead.”

“BUT SHE WASN’T!” Jensen screamed at the top of his lungs as Jared pulled him into his arms, “How could they not tell us?”

“I don’t know.” Jared sighed.


She gasped opening her eyes from the dream again. She dreamt of the the day she was kidnapped. She had tried to grab a child before the little boy was shot in front of her despite her attempts. The shock had kept her from returning fire. She didn’t know why it affected her so bad but she had thought about how it would be if that child was hers.

She suffered from dreams about the child blaming her and shooting her repeatedly, she had been here months maybe longer. She wasn’t the only one here either, the captors had come into the room holding on of their own. Each of the man dragging another one pleading for his life. He had turned on them and his fate was a new torture method to the American soldier.

She had caused two children to die. The one the day she was taken as a POW and now the blonde little girl in her arms no longer clutching her shirt. She had been been like that since last night definitely. The flashback hit harder than she expected.

“Kill him.” The taller of the captors said in a heavy accented voice.


“Kill him or I kill them.” The man growled pointing the gun towards the corner where a mother and her children sat.


“Mat’!” The young exclaimed. Y/N recognized it as Russian, how had these men gotten their hands on Russians?

“Shut up!” The taller man stalked over and slapped the young man in the face,” Fucking disgrace.”

“Kill him now or I make you kill them.” The tall one roughly said pointing towards the family.

Gulping you felt a small knife placed in your hand. You grasped it thinking you could get out but your attention was brought to see one of the men training their gun on you while the other pointed it at the four year old little girl crying heavily.

She sobbed as she raised the knife above the man and plunged it deep inside his neck hearing the gurgling. Praying the man to have a quick death she severed the jugular feeling the blood both physically and figuratively stain her body.

“Ah yes!” The men grinned before quickly releasing the trigger into the children, the mother rushed to the man but dropped with a scream. Her blank eyes being painted by the bleeding hole in her forehead.

“NO!” Y/N screamed sobbing deeply as she shook crawling to the children.

“Did you really think we’d leave them?” The man spat at her before stabbing a knife deep into her thigh.

A gut wrenching scream was forced from her throat at she felt the lacerations form on her body. The pain so intense she wished for death. She wished to switch places with the poor souls in the room with her.

“Papa! Mat’!” The older boy whispered as he took his last breath. His sister, bleeding from her stomach watched everything around her.

“Sweetie.” Y/N dragged herself across the dirty floor coughing from the recent torture, “Do you know english?”

“Mama’s teaching me.” The innocent girl said.

“Whats you’re name?” Y/N asked bringing the girl into her lap, “My name is Y/N. My Dad calls me dragonfly.”

“Nina.” The girl coughed leaving blood on her lips as the red spread on her already dirty dress, “Papa calls me Angel. He’s talks like you.”

“Can I call you Angel?” Y/N said brushing the blonde hair from the little girls head.

“Uh huh.” Nina replied shakily putting her hand against Y/N cheek, “You’re pretty.”

“Oh? Well you’re beyond beautiful.” Y/N sniffled watching as the girl lost more blood.

“Am I d-dying?”

“No. No. You’ll be fine! You’ll see your Papa and I’ll see my family.”


“I promise.” Y/N sobbed holding the girl tighter.

“Can you sing me a song?” Nina choked crying on the blood in her mouth, “I like the one about the little light. Papa sings it to me every night.”

“Of course.”

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.

Y/N stopped breathing heavily before continuing.

Gonna let my little light shine.
Light that shines is the light of love,
Hides the darkness from above,
Shines on me and it shines on you,

Eyes tightly shut her lips quivered as she listened to Nina’s breaking and weak voice join her.

Shows you what the power of love can do.
Shine my light both bright and clear,
Shine my light both far and near,
In every dark corner that I find,
Let my little light shine.

Little Nina took her last breath in Y/N arms. In that cold, musty and dirty room Y/N rocked the blood soaked little girl as she finished the song with great heartache. She didn’t care about herself, all she cared was the little girl that took her last breath in her arms who wasn’t even her daughter.

Part Four

@trustnobodyshootfirst @iamnotsaneatall @winchesterfanfiction @yesterday-was-tuesday @nyx-universe @soobi89 @writer-picks-the-music @trashling101 @deanwinchesterisamazing @tas898 @essie1876 @lovemesomepie85 @cityofsobbingfangirls @ourkittyus @barbidollash @oh-my-hecky-padalecki


Sorry for being absent but I am going to fix all of that later in the future I pray and hope and I’m so super sorry.

In the mean time (if you don’t mind waiting) and want some super cool art from me and my artsy self! *audible ding*

Jut shoot me a message and I’ll try to get a picture as a thank you for following me! Lots of love! And appreciation!


AND NOW WE’RE CAUGHT UP TO MY CURRENT GAMEPLAY.   and I will leave you with Two random Townies playing “who wore it better”


and if I feel like I’m starting to get burned out…. like happened last time…. I’ll go play another save for awhile.  Because I very much regret not doing it right on this one.   A LOT of stuff got skipped.  I know there’s major stuff that happened that never got posted because I never bothered to take pictures.

damn it.

anonymous asked:

the number of jeronica fics is very minimal, but the ones that do exist are very well written. jughead and veronica aren't ooc, making it fairly easy to picture everything going on inside your head. plus, they're hella long. 28k words of pure jeronica? don't mind if i fucking do.

okay, i’m happy for my jeronica bros, i have a lot of friends who ship them :) i never read any jeronica fics, cause just them without archie is kinda lowkey to me, but go you! 28k of well written jeronica? you have it better then archieronnie fandom ;)

anonymous asked:

big brother cassian braiding your hair and when he dies at the battle of scarrif you continue to wear you hair in braids ;-;

I loved this idea so much.

 You know, even though it hurt my soul and made me cry. 

Warnings: canon character death

Words: 1,102

You were alone in your sleeping quarters.

You had a bunkmate, but after offering her condolences, she had left the room.

She must have gotten the hint that you wanted some time to grieve in peace.

“I’m sorry, Officer Andor. But your brother did not survive the battle on Scarif.”

Mon Mothma’s words replayed themselves over and over again in your mind.

At first, you hadn’t believed the Senator. You stubbornly refused to believe her.

But then you saw the hologram of Scarif. And the hologram of The Death Star.

You didn’t have a choice then but to accept that Cassian was gone.

“Love you, my little star,” were the last words that he’d said to you before leaving base.

“Love you back,” You’d answered, kissing his cheek. “I’ll see you soon, Cass.”

Had you known the true nature of his mission, you wouldn’t have let him go. 

Or you would have gone with him.

Perhaps that’s why Cassian had lied to you. To protect you. 

Regardless, it didn’t ease the aching in your heart. 

It was well into the evening by the time you found that you were all cried out.

Month Mothma had kindly relieved you of tomorrow’s duties. “Take some time to recover, Officer Andor,” she’d encouraged you. “At least a day or two. You might not feel like you need it right now, but take some personal time off. You’ll find it’ll help you cope better with the grieving process if you take time for yourself.”

You let out a heavy sigh and shifted in your bed, moving underneath the sheets.

Although you thought sleep wouldn’t come easy that night, you started drifting.

The first person that came to you in your dreams was Cassian.

“Your hair’s gotten so long,” Cassian observed as he walked into your quarters. 

It was late in the evening and you had just finished getting ready for bed.

“I know,” You agreed, smiling sheepishly. “I haven’t had it cut since I was eight.”

“Seven,” he corrected you.

“Oh. Right.” You vaguely remembered cutting it very short, almost chin length. 

Now, at fourteen, your hair fell down to your waist in a cascade of silky waves.

“I should probably cut it again soon,” You said, twirling a lock around your finger.

“Don’t,” he said, quickly. “Don’t cut it. Long hair suits you well. Besides—”

Cassian suddenly stopped himself, clamping his mouth shut.

“What? What is it?”

He seemed hesitant.

“It’s just that, well, you look a lot like Mama. She had long hair too.”

Although he tried to mask the sadness in his eyes, you could easily detect it. 

You’d never met your mother. She died from an illness right after you were born.

Her absence hadn’t nearly affected you as much as it had affected Cassian.

“I don’t want to cut it, Cassian, but it gets in the way during my flying lessons.”

“I might have a solution for you, then.”

Cassian walked over to your bed and sat down, patting the spot beside him.

You gave him a strange look before taking a seat next to him.

“Turn around,” he said, pushing you until your back was to him.

“Cassian, what are you doing?”

“You’ll see. Now sit still.”

You let out an impatient sigh and crossed your arms over your chest. “Fine.” You  sat perfectly still and didn’t utter another word as your older brother ran his long, cool fingers through your hair once, twice, and then a third time before parting it into three different sections. It wasn’t until after several minutes of silence ticked  by that you finally spoke, “My instructor says that I’m doing really well. He says it won’t be long before we’ll stop training in a simulator and we can fly a real ship.”

“Flying a ship is much different than you might think. It’s not like a simulator.”

“I know, but I can do it,” You said, confidently. “I’m ready to fly, Cassian.”

Although your back was to him, you could already picture the smile on his face.

“I’m going to be a great pilot. And an even better Officer.”

“I know you will.”

“In fact, I’m going to be one of the best Officers the Rebellion has ever had.”

Cassian laughed from behind you. “Don’t get too cocky, at least not yet. There is still a lot for you to learn. And who knows, in a few years you might change your mind about becoming an Officer.”

“I won’t change my mind, Cassian. I want to be an Officer, just like you.”

After a few minutes, he touched your shoulders. “There, all done.”

Cassian had braided your hair, starting it from the crown of your head. It was still a long braid, but instead of falling to your waist, it fell to the middle of your back, and you were absolutely delighted at the thought of putting on a helmet without a struggle for once. “Now you can keep it long and it won’t get in the way during your lessons.”

You beamed at him over your shoulder. “Thanks, Cass.”

He stood up and kissed the top of your head. “Love you, my little star.“

“Love you back.”


When you awoke the next morning, you decided you would resume your duties.

Mon Mothma wouldn’t be thrilled, but you couldn’t stand the idea of time off.

Cassian would think of it as a waste, and so did you.

After getting dressed and pulling on your boots, you quickly brushed the tangles out of your hair before parting it into three sections. Cassian had taught you how to braid your hair, although your braids never came out as tight nor as neat as he often liked to point out. 

“It’s so messy,” Cassian would point, laughing. “Here, let me fix it for you.”

Furiously blinking back tears, you grabbed your jacket and left your quarters. 

“Officer Andor.” Mon Mothma raised an eyebrow as you approached the council members. “I thought you were going to take some time off.”

“I know I said I would, but I can’t do that, Senator.”

“And why not?”

You took a deep breath. “Because that’s not what Cassian would want me to do, he wouldn’t want me to stop, not for anything. I know that he would want me to be strong and to keep going. He would want me to keep fighting for the galaxy, and so that’s what I’m going to do.”

Mon Mothma pressed her lips together, then sighed. “Very well, Officer Andor. If that is the case, then we have an assignment for you.”

Fingers crossed that you liked this, anon! x

More requests coming soon, as well as a one shot that may or may not be smut. Spoiler alert: it’s smut. But no worries, it’ll be tagged appropriately, if it’s posted of course. 

seasons-of-stories  asked:

How do you tell the difference between an ENFJ and an ESFJ? It seems a lot of people can't and the same goes for the people who mix up ENTJ and ESTJ.

Typing real people in your daily life is easier than typing characters. Especially once you’ve interacted with a legit NJ.

Intuitives trust their intuition. They tend to go OFF their intuition. High Ni’s, in particular, have a habit of predictions / assessments once you give them information. They chew it up internally and spit out a judgment. Lower Ne (SJ) is much less inclined to do this… there’s too many variables to consider. (Notice, I said, lower Ne. Higher Ne, being intuitive, trusts their instincts just like a high Ni. It’s only when external data comes in that high Ne self-doubts their original assessment and becomes uncertain… but given the chance, high Ne goes back to their strongest intuitive perception of the situation at hand.)

Sensors are better with real life. Better at the daily stuff. Better at the details. Better at multi-tasking and accomplishing everything at the end of the day. More inclined to notice stuff in the environment and make note of it. Less troubled by keeping track of stuff, or attending minor but important elements of stuff. And to some degree, more extroverted in the sense that they don’t mind interacting WITH the environment. Better at living in the moment, too.

I know one ENFJ in my daily life and LOTS of ESFJs (the world is full of sensors; a good rule of thumb is to assume everyone/every character is a sensor until they show you otherwise ;).

MY ENFJ: is serious, does not like to derail or go off topic, often loses sight of smaller details in his pursuit of the big picture, refuses to make decisions until he has considered every option and chosen the “best one” (and he’s offended if I suggest a possibility he’s already silently considered and discarded), cannot brainstorm alone (he needs Ne-users for that), frequently conflicts with SJs’ desire to protect / dwell in the past (or move on past what he calls “outdated” ideas), wakes up with solutions, believes his talent is for “getting to the TRUTH of things,” often makes future predictions (sometimes shockingly accurate) and tends to “play” through Se – expensive food, trips, cars. He goes through money like water – impulse shopping, no expense spared, for “the best.” He trusts his insights, which can be sharp and without external evidence (we get into arguments over his intuitive-judgements about people he barely knows).

My ESFJs: are more playful, better at daily life and details, often wander far off topic as various connections, associations, and ideas occur to them (Ne), have more of a fluid belief system, enjoy brainstorming and throwing around ideas in the moment, are often eager to share their own experiences and histories and hear about yours, are reluctant to commit to intuitive-readings of the situations without external evidence, are more focused on discussion of daily activities, local events, often have a mission to “help people” in a very hands-on way, are more attentive to the needs of the moment for themselves and everyone else, and want to talk about everything and anything (from books to fashion to cats). They can get caught up in the details and not consider the big picture, and are uncomfortable in making and defending their future predictions.

There’s more in the tags: ESFJ x ENFJ, and ENTJ x ESTJ

- ENFP Mod


I have never submitted before, I am quite shy tbh. It’s been a loooong journey with lots of ups and downs, but if I did it, believe me you can do it too! I still have a long way to go but I am so happy to be where I am today. I didn’t think it was possible. I took the after picture today and I was so shocked when I compared it with the before one, I didn’t realize until now how different I am!
I am going to be honest, I didn’t really watch my eating and didn’t exercise that much until the begging of June. All I did was drink a lot of water, green tea, and trying not to eat after 6pm.
But now I started to change my eating habits, I’m cutting down on carbs, sweets, etc.. And eating more veggies, fresh fruits and lean meats. I do not count calories but I mind portions. I joined a gym and I am hopping to see more and better results.
10 kg difference between the two pictures (about 22 pounds) It took me about seven months.
Gosh, I am sooooo happy and motivated!

Harry Styles Smut- Sweet Little Rosie


*This smut was NOT requested*

DISCLAIMER: This smut isn’t like any other I’ve ever written. As I said above this WAS NOT requested. I would like to warn you this smut will be very, very detailed. So if that makes you uncomfortable please don’t read. I’m thinking of making a *detailed* smut series. Like different situations obviously, but more detailed than average smut(all made up by me of course). These detailed ones are a lot longer as well. So please let me know if you liked this!

*other previous imagine requests coming soon!!!! Ugh I’m lagging*

WARNING; this contains descriptive sexual detail, slight age gap (16 and 22), and a little bit of innocent.


Harry’s POV.

“Alright, we are here! Sorry for the inconvenience” John speaks from the front seat.

“No it’s fine, I hope your aunt is okay with it” I say unbuckling my seatbelt.

Our meeting was supposed to be done at the studio, but there was some kind of water leak so John suggested his aunts house.

“Oh yeah she’s happy to have you all over” John responded getting out of the car.

“Alright let’s go” Liam said, and we all got out of the car.

The house looked very inviting from the outside. Once we stepped in the cool ocean breeze candle scented air hit me. It’s was such a wonderful feeling.

John showed us to the couches in the living room, where the meeting of our next album will be held.

A short nice looking lady came into the living room with a tray of drinks. She set them down and John wraps an arm around her.

“Aunt Ev, you shouldn’t have. Guys, this is my aunt” John said.

“I’m Evelyn” she spoke and warmly smiled. We all shook hands.

“If you guys need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask” she smiled and left to the kitchen.

It was such an inviting house.

More people for the meeting showed up and we all got into it.

The meeting went on like all do. Soon it was 3:30pm.

“Rosie, do you need me to pick you up?” I over hear Evelyn speak over the phone from the kitchen.

“Oh okay, see you soon. Love you” I hear again.

I think that might have been her daughter. John said he had lots of cousins.

Evelyn’s eldest son arrived home from his errands. Her youngest son came home from school a little later.

The meeting went on and studio reservations and writing days were being situated.

Then the front door opened and a stunning, beautiful, gorgeous girl walks in.

She had light brown curly hair, her eyes a hypnotizing green/blue combination. And her lips. Soft, plump, pink lips.

My heart started racing.

“Oh hey, Rosie” John said.

“Hi” she said quietly, taken aback by all the people in the room. Her shyness just makes her more appealing.

“How was school?”
“It was fine”
“Did it blow up?”
“I wish” Rosie giggled.

“I want you to meet my friends, this is Liam, Niall, Louis and Harry. And you already know these guys. Business meeting.” he said pointing to the studio people and us.

She looks at all of us and when her eyes landed on me for 2 seconds, my heart officially bursted.

“Hello, I’m Rosie” she said shyly waving at us, with a small smile.

“Hi” we all smiled back. Keep it together Harry. You only just looked at her.

It’s very hard not to look at her. Her outfit didn’t make anything easier. That short, short skirt.

She excused herself and left swinging those hips slightly. The meeting went on, but after seeing her, I can’t concentrate.

Her face was just so beautiful, like nothing I’ve never seen before. And her body…oh the things I would do to her. These are the thoughts you shouldn’t have at a meeting.

I know it’s wrong. She’s johns cousin and she’s defiantly under 18 if she is “coming home from school”. She’s defiantly young. How young? Will it matter? The fact that I’m thinking it won’t shocked me.

“I’m going to be home alone tonight?” I hear Rosie say from the kitchen.

“Well me and your father are going out tonight. Your older bother will be with his girlfriend and your younger bothers going to a sleepover” Evelyn spoke to her daughter.

“It’s just one night baby, you’ve done it before” her mother spoke to her.

The only voice I want to hear is Rosie’s. I’m only paying attention to that.

“I know but I hate it” Rosie spoke.

“You’ll be fine” Evelyn reassured.

My attention is brought back when John stood up.

“Okay so I guess everything is settled” John said, cleaning his papers.

“Rosie can you come unlock the door” John said again.

We all got up and helped cleaned up all the papers and such.

Rosie bounces in with her beautiful hair flowing and her skirt inching up as she does so. How doesn’t she realize what she can do to a man.

She reaches for the key on a high shelf and drops it. She then bends down to get it her skirt so close to revealing her bum.

Oh god this girl is a walking tease. With that short, short skirt.

She unlocks the door and one by one we all step out, saying our thank you and goodbyes to Evelyn and Rosie.

When it came to Rosie I looked at her and smiled and she smiled back up at me with her innocent eyes. I looked at her eyes then her lips. The feeling in my stomach intensified so I stepped out of the air conditioned house and back into the car with the boys.

“How old is your cousin, John” I blurted.

“Which one?” He asked

“R-Rosie” I said.

“16” he replied starting the car.

-later that night-

After the meeting, John dropped us all off at our places.

I sat on my couch thinking about Rosie. I need her. I just need her. She hasn’t left my mind since I left her house.

I think I’m going to do something. Something dangerous. Something I shouldn’t do. But I need to do it.

Oh sweet little Rosie, you won’t be home alone tonight.

Part two probably soon like a hour? Message me telling me what you think and tell me when I should post part two. BTW SORRY IF HE IS KINDA CREEPY. Sorry if the first part kinda sucked, the smut will be a lot better and detailed and it’s cuming ;)

How to draw horse faces

This is getting old, but… gather references. 

And now take some of those pictures which you like the most. Usually it’s easier when the angle’s straight-on and the lighting’s clear and straight on the target (see example 1, 2, 4). 

Open them in your programme and start mapping things that you see; outlines, muscles, proportions. Things you miss, etc. Study the picture instead of only drawing an outline. 

And when you discover something (or learn stuff from people like me…) explore it! Below, I merely filled in a couple of extra details to the diamond that I had already drawn, yet it still shows loads of recognition. 

Now onto the other proportions. As stated in the first study, the cheek is a massive, plain bone. It has muscles, but those are used for chewing, and you probably won’t be drawing them, so forget about them. The cheek is massive. And round. However, when the angle changes, the cheek sometimes disappears. Make sure to look at references (I have tried to draw something to show you… but it basically showed nothing).

Horses don’t have eyebrows, so conveying emotions might be a bit harder than with humans. Apart from that, horses just have massive creepy eyes with a gigantic black pill in the middle that looks like a sinkhole. Not kidding. Anyway, you can work with expressions a lot by changing the outlines of the eye itself and by using the muscle that is closest to the diamond. Remember; the socket above the eyebone (in both my studies marked as ‘hole’) is a place where usually a lot of shadows gather!

Noses are easy to show the condition of the horse. The nose widens when working and so it’s good to keep that in mind when drawing. Don’t flare your nostrils when he’s standing still; it makes your picture look askew. 

And there are so many things I can say on this matter, but I really think that you should just go out and look at all those fancy pictures yourself. Finding new things alone works 100 times better than me pointing them out. :) 

Let’s end with two of my sketches so you can see me deciphering all the lines and anatomy there. Following is an Arabian pony, with it’s dished nose and short face. Can you notice the same diamond shape in it’s structure? 

And then we have a warmblood here, with a much larger face and a ‘straighter’ diamond. 

I hope to have helped you one step further! If you need anything else explained or clarified -> askbox is open, also for anons!

Coloring Tutorial

A Kind anon asked for a tutorial so here we go! //wipes sweat. Finally finished this darn thing. I apologize if my explaining isn’t clear!

There’s a lot sorry.

So first decide your colors and color your picture:

Next make a layer above your skin and select ‘clipping group’ then pick a shade darker than the skin and start shading in the desired areas:

Next change the hue and saturation to your liking:

Looks better huh? Make a new layer under this one then take a lighter shade of the color the shadow is now and softly put it around the areas that have the darker shade if that makes sense. Then blend it out a bit:

Then take a blending brush and blend the darker shade so it flows into the rest of the colors of the skin:

Next is the highlights. Make a new layer above everything else and take a lighter color of the skin and put the mode to 'Luminosity’. Then make dots/lines where the highlight is needed:

Blend it out!

Now the last thing for the skin. I do blushies so take a pinkish/red color and make oval like shapes on the cheeks:

Blend it out and here’s the last thing! Take a slightly darker shade of the color you used for the blushes and make thin slash marks on the same area:

Tada! All done with the skin. I usually do the same process for clothing.

We’re not quite done yet though. One more thing! HAIR!

First make a layer above the hair and set to 'clipping group’ then take a darker shade of the color you have for the hair and set the layer to 'mutliply’. Once you do that, you color the bottom ends and the root of the hair:

Blend it!

Then make another layer above that, set 'clipping group’ and 'multiply’, proceed to make lines that follow the way the hair flows:

Repeat the steps of making a new layer instead don’t change the mode this time. Now grab a lighter color of the hair and do the same thing:

Now take an even lighter color and repeat.

Repeat the step of making a new layer again and this time change the mode to 'Luminosity’. Then take the middle color and make a slightly curved line across the hair and blend the edges out.

Final steps! Change the 'opacity’ of that layer to your liking then take a lighter shade of the color you used and make little lines along the highlight.

DONE! I hope this helped!


L – [pic: 1000x1525]


“Hello, Infinite’s first photobook has been released! The photobook that we shot in the states! there are many pictures of Infinite’s daily things you can’t see anywhere. There are lots of pictures that can only be viewed through this photobook so please give us lots of love!” 

>> Must need items for when you go outside the country?

Personal carrier, three camera lens and a camera body, notebook etc. Mostly things needed for photography.

>> A long trip to America, what do you do during the flight?

I listened to music that was on the flight, it was Alicia Keys’ intro song. You would feel like you were in a bar [if you did the same].

>> First destination America, how do you feel?

It was a long flight of 13 hours. I didn’t wake up even once during the whole flight. Because I was happy about being able to sleep, I remember that I shouted out “Wow! This is America” in admiration. It was a whole new world. I was wondering how we would be filming here and had high expectations but then I couldn’t even get to walk around much. I had high expectations the first day but the realization of how alike the place was to Korea came quickly. The only difference I experienced was language and I sat at the filming site very confused.

>> What did you do when you first arrived?

As soon as I got arrived at the airport, I took pictures. There weren’t a lot of tall buildings as I thought there would be.

>> When you go to America again, with whom and with what purpose do you want to go?

I would like to go to Las Vegas with close guy friends who are around the same age as me. Of course we wouldn’t gamble. I want to see shows that you wouldn’t be able to see anywhere in Korea, like the ‘KA Show’, ‘O Show’ etc.

>> Do you have any places, scenes etc. that you remember well?

I remember the shopping street called ‘Melrose’. It was LA, there were a lot of Americans, ah, well that’s a given when you go to America. (laugh). I was really amazed at how I could see everything I would see in a movie, right in front of my eyes. This, right here, is LA!

>> A hero you really wanted to see in Hollywood?

The character from that left a strong impression on me; Bumblebee! I really wanted to meet(see) it,, but there wasn’t even a person wearing a costume of it so I was disappointed. When I get a chance to go to Hollywood again, I’ll make sure I see it!

>> If you didn’t become a singer but took a road of a different kind of artist?

I think everyone noticed by now. Photographer is NO.1. As long as I have my freedom and the camera I’m most used to, I would feel like I have wings on my arms and legs. I think I would’ve gotten through work lightly but powerfully. I like to take pictures of subjects but, I wouldn’t mind being a model to show myself better by becoming the subject.

>> How was Las Vegas?

I was exhausted from the hours of moving around and I thought to myself, “What happens, happens”. Moving on the bus for 6 hours could be compared to going down to the countryside on the holidays, and it’s tiring. However, when we arrived and I fell in love with the beauty. I thought to myself about how I wanted to come here again plus, the best live show was a show that made my heart go through a lot of emotions. Las Vegas seemed to be a place that was its own independent country. It was like a paradise different from any of the worlds beyond it, it was also a place where I think the nighttime was more exciting than the daytime.

>> If you wanted to take a memorable vacation with your members, where would you go?

I want to enjoy water activities at Phuket [with my members]. Phi Phi Islands! We went there with our company family before and it was really fun. I want to feel the fun we had again.

>> Where is a place you really want to go as a vacation?

Bora Bora Islands. I heard it will sink in 50 years. I will have to go before it does!  

>> You already released your 2nd photo essay book, did you take more beautiful pictures in America?

Because I was with my members almost every day of the trip, there’s a lot of pictures of the members. We had a limited radius so I couldn’t take many pictures as I wanted to so I was upset about that.

-Infinite, To my loving members

I’m always thankful to Sungkyu hyung for taking care of us like a dad and Dongwoo hyung for taking the role of a mom. I thank Woohyun hyung for always bringing our mood up whenever, and Howon always helps the group hold on tight so he’s a very important member. Sungyeol is like a vitamin. I’m always thankful for him showing us his bright side. I’m thankful that Sungjong listens to the hyungs well. The word “thank you” might be boring and worn out now, but I think those are the only words I could say. (laugh) I think it’s a great memory that I could experience America with Infinite. It was tiring then, but I think all the fun times we had there will come back to me as time passes by.

<trans. credit: purpleboyhowonee>

'Photographer Luke'

requested by anonymous

summary: Luke loved photography and he was good at it but I didn’t expect the musician to use me as the subject to his photos

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My journey began the moment I hit puberty. Going through a pretty bad scene phase, in the first two pictures, I was already in a deep depression about a lot of things, including my body. I went through a period of anorexia, self harming, and just dark things that no one should have to go through. I was already in general hatred of my body and the thought that the reason might be that I was another gender was not even a thought in my mind.

The second two pictures were taken when I was getting medicated for anxiety and depression and when began to make friends that supported me and made me feel better about who I was no matter what. So I began to find my style. However, puberty being farther along, my breasts grew, and I began to develop an increasing hatred for how they looked underneath my shirts.

The third and fourth pictures were around the time I began seriously exploring gender and came out as genderfluid. This allowed me to get a deeper understanding of my masculinity without actually committing to one gender. I know that’s not how it is for everyone, but that’s what that period was for me, and I needed it. Once I began dressing in male normative clothing, people told me I was too pretty to be a boy and I seriously reverted back to my femininity. I was pulled back into depression at this time and I felt numb. I felt like I was just mirroring what I saw that society’s eyes approved of in a female and it was hell.

The next picture was posted on Instagram on March 4th, coming out to my friends as transgender. They were very supportive of me and for that I will always be grateful. On March 18th, I came out to my immediate family, and they had many questions, but my mom said she wasn’t surprised (which to this day I still find hilarious). Two days before my 16th birthday I told my whole family and all that happened was they made an extreme amount of dad jokes.

Now my family was more supportive than most, but I hope that everyone gets the acceptance that I did because there’s nothing better than feeling loved for who you are. And if your parents don’t accept you, there is a whole community of us on here and scattered around the interwebs that love you and will be with you every step of the way.

The last two pictures are me now. I have restocked my wardrobe, received a binder, and begun gender therapy in hopes of one day receiving hormones/surgery. I am happier now than I have ever been; my confidence level has spiked to all time highs. My name is Jax, this is my story, and I hope it gives some of you hope for a happier, healthier future.


Him and Rebecca are fabulous together…..his singing is so perfect and has improved SO much since opening night….he definitely understands the character and his emotional impacts as well as the funny impact is spot on! His Tommy! HOLY SHIT! Everyone is right! His Tommy is perfection!!! He sings Wicked Little Town Reprise with such emotion and how he changes with a snap from Hedwig to Tommy and back is truly amazing to see. But honestly, the raw emotion that he portrays in the emotional scenes such as the monologue about Tommy before Long Grift is just truly….I have no words because it’s that wonderful!

He carwashed someone like literally in the back, kissed an older woman in the aisle seat in row A and then kissed an gentleman in AA 108! I got to touch his hand at the end of the curtain call too! And OMG (spoilers) when Hedwig is talking about Tommy in the tub and how she tells him about her show, that whole 10 seconds where Hedwig tells Tommy to come see her show…HE WAS FUCKING LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME! It was magical! He looked at me a lot as well as my parents! His eyes are so gorgeous and show so much emotion! I can’t with his spot on acting bc it was perfect!

He was just…breathtaking and I’m so thankful I had this opportunity to see him! 

AND REBECCA! Omg! I saw John and Lena, and I loved Lena but there’s something about Rebecca’s Yitzhak that’s better. Rebecca really shows her appreciation to sing at points and her emotional deliveries are so spot on! Her chemistry with Darren is also so amazing and DAMN THEY MAKE OUT A LOT!  

If you are feeling ehhh about seeing Darren for any reason, I definitely say go see them because it will change your mind! I’m so thankful to my parents for getting me tickets! It meant so much to see my idol in person in a musical that I love so much :)

I’ll upload my pictures later bc I’m on a plane home right now, though I’m sure some of them are on DCN now bc I posted some to Twitter!

You Can Fandom

I just saw a post in one of my followed tags about the people in fandom who feel like they can’t do anything and are sitting on the outskirts. I want to say clearly that yes, yes you can create. Come on and play. I do think that fandom can be really intimidating, but you can write, edit, gif, draw or anything else you put your mind to.

When you’re looking at content creators, you don’t see the years of practice that went into it. If you get started and work at it, then you will get better.

Now. You hear this a lot, I’m sure. That doesn’t make it real for you and you assume people had talent to start. So…to my great and terrible embarrassment, I dove into my old accounts. Here’s where I was a little over a decade ago compared to now with some stops along the way. My shame is below the cut:

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Question Quiz - From the Ask Box

I got quite a few questions from Anons so I’m consolidating them.

Q: What made you love felicity at first?

A: Her quirkiness.  She fun, funny, different, and yet - in her interactions with Walter Steele - you saw a great sense of determination, strength, and loyalty.  I liked her loyalty to him.  You don’t see that written a lot for female characters, imo.

Q: Reason why you ship olicity?

A: Have an hour?  LOL.  I think I can boil it down to this: I like Oliver Queen better as a character when he’s with her.  When I first started watching Arrow in Season 1, I struggled with some of his actions and I really struggled with a romantic plot to invest in. I even told myself, Well, this is going to be a show where I can’t root for any romance.  Darn.  And then voila! Felicity hit the screen.  I liked the give and take.  I liked the different side of Oliver she allowed us to glimpse.  When she showed up at the Big Belly Burger to give him Walter’s copy of the list and she and Oliver had that “Can I trust you?”/“You can trust me” scene?  That absolutely beautiful, mature, adult, lovely, gritty, raw scene of epic awesomeness…  I was sold.  Right there on the spot. BAM! There’s THE girl for Oliver.  There’s the woman who makes him a better, more interesting, likeable man that lets him be more than “just” the stone faced guy on the man-pain road to herodom.  It was that glimpse of honesty, trust, respect, friendship, loyalty, and chemistry that instantly made me want them together, believe they were going to be the better story, and instantly made me a shipper. 

Q: Favorite Character and Why?

A: This is tough.  I love a lot of character.s.  Favorite Male: Oliver.  Favorite Female: Felicity.  They are amazing as individuals & even better as a pair and team.

Q: Most favorite scene and line from arrow?

A: Scene - Felicity & Oliver at the Big Belly Burger when she gives him Walter’s copy of the list.  Everything about that scene, from acting to lighting to set, was stunningly gorgeous.  I still have a picture of it in my mind.  Amazing.

Favorite Line is harder.  I have favorite funny lines and favorite serious/sad lines.  But I think if I had to pick one it would be when Oliver told Felicity she wasn’t his employee.  She was his partner.  I loved the maturity level in that conversation.  Again, trust, respect, loyalty.

Q: Do you think oliver knows how much felicity cares for him?

A: I think Oliver knows Felicity cares a great deal.  I don’t know if he’s labeled it “She’s in love with me."  But he knows, and the tenderness and caring and protectiveness he displays toward her tells me he very much cares about her, too.