i once killed a man

Some Of The Best Hetalia Lines In The History Of Ever™


“Please close your legs.”

“Am I Catholic or Protestant?…God, I don’t know…”

“Oh thanks a million, next time why don’t you just stab me in the chest wITH A SPATULA”

“Wow I look exactly like you, a big douche-bag.”


“Winter can suck my jingle bells!”


“I once killed a man with his own mustache and a grape.”


“My milkshakes bring all the boys–” “TO HELL WITH YOUR MILKSHAKES”


When someone talks to me after 12 am it gets really deep.
11:59pm: My favourite colour is pink.
12:00am: I once killed a man.

The Nordics at Midnight...
  • Sweden: do snails have teeth?
  • Iceland: have you ever tried chocolate cheese? It's like chocolate and cheese... But together.
  • Norway: can you use butter as lubricant? Has anyone ever tried?
  • Denmark: I wonder what the meaning behind the universe is. Are we the most intelligent beings or are there other life forms out there?
  • Finland: I killed a man once

Sometimes I get freaked out with the way people kill their sims, but then I remember that I once killed off a man’s entire family because of the cowplant, and when he got a new wife and daughter, they died because of it, too.

Critical Role Sentence Starters
  • “Your soul is forfeit!”
  • “Do you have a female setting?”
  • “It’s cow-moflage!”
  • “I encourage violence!”
  • “For the love of god, find me a beret.”
  • “I once saw him kill a man with his taint.”
  • “It’s a simple binary choice: you can die right now, or you can turn over our friend and we will probably, PROBABLY leave you in peace. I would promise, but I don’t make promises to dogs.”
  • “Some people have no sense of fucking honour.”
  • “The buttflap of my soul is down.”
  • “I broke the world for us.”
  • “I’ve never killed anything before!”
  • “Me and doors don’t get along too well.”
  • “Hey __, do you need some dick? Because I gave some to your mom last night!“
Secrets- Enzo Amore (requested)

You stared at Enzo as he sat next to you on the couch. The pair of you had been seeing each other for a few weeks, but nothing more than giggles and sweet dinners had been had.

“Tell me a secret”

Your words caused Enzo to face you, leaving the movie you were watching to be forgotten.

“I once killed a man”

You spat out the drink you were drinking, believing his words until you saw the smirk on Enzo’s face, making you burst into laughter.

“You have not!”

“Nah, I haven’t. Would be a cool plot twist huh? You think you are getting all this but really, I’m evil.”

Enzo smiled as your laughter intensified.

“I’m serious, tell me a secret”
Enzo moved closer to you, so he was now inches away.

“Ever since I met you I’ve wanted to kiss those sweet pink lips of yours”

Before you could utter a word his lips were on yours, butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach. As you pulled away you smiled, seeing that this relationship was growing before your eyes.

“Any… any more secrets?”

Enzo laughed, pulling you back into him as maybe your new secret was how much you liked the feeling of his lips on yours.

  • Cassandra: Why is the second "Hard in Hightown" so completely different from the first?
  • Varric: Because I didn't write it. Shit, did you pay actual coin for that book?
  • Varric: One of these days, I'm going to find the duster who wrote that garbage and introduce him to my editor.
  • Cassandra: By "editor," do you mean your crossbow?
  • Varric: No, my actual editor. Best in the business. She runs half the Coterie in Kirkwall. Stickler for grammar.
  • Varric: She once killed a man over a semicolon. I'd never print anything without her.

GET TO KNOW ME MEME [1/5] non-human characters » envy {FMAB}

“Too bad you don’t have the stomach to do the logical thing. I shouldn’t be surprised, that’s just how all you humans are. You put emotion before common sense. I killed a man who was like that once. All I had to do was make myself look like his wife and he was helpless—he couldn’t even fight me! You humans are so easy to take advantage of. Lucky us.”

  • Seven: if we talk after 12 our convos will get real personal
  • *12.00 am*
  • Seven: I like honey buddha chips
  • *12.01 am*
  • Seven: so I killed a man once
the signs as aph quotes
  • aries: If you don't disappear while I'm tying my shoelace I'm gonna flip you over (Netherlands)
  • taurus: vODKAAAAAAA (Russia)
  • gemini: No one asked you, cheesy monkey (England)
  • cancer: What the crappola happened here?! (Romano)
  • leo: Whoa, ice cream? I'm totally coming there to hug you (America)
  • virgo: I hide dark secret no one will guess because of my sweet face (Russia)
  • libra: I am far way too gorgeous to have been in a stuffy room for so long (France)
  • scorpio: I once killed a man in his sleep with its own moustache and a grape (Germany)
  • sagittarius: I'm so hot I could kiss myself (England)
  • capricorn: When I look into all of your stupid faces, I think how fun it will be to pound them into dust (Russia)
  • aquarius: Oh no! I suck! (Ukraine)
  • pisces: My only friend growing up was a yak (Russia)

Do you think Zak or his family ever gets really worried or freaked out because, oh my gosh, Zak actually died

not necessarily in big ways but not necessarily not in big ways

maybe after a while they can sort of joke about it- ‘Mom, I’m going just going out at night, what’s the worst that could happen’ ‘I seem to recall you dying on me once’ or ‘Mini man, I swear I’m gonna kill you if you don’t knock it off’ ‘been there, done that’

maybe it affects them in little ways- Fisk wincing when Doyle says Zak ‘slept like the dead’, Doc hesitating just a little longer when Zak’s going on a risky mission, Drew hugging him just a little tighter when she thinks about it, Zak feeling unsettled at cemeteries and burial sites, the look Drew and Doc give each other when Zak says ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

maybe there are big ways it affects them- Zak wakes up with nightmares and thinks about death a lot, Fisk gets more scared than ever about something happening to Zak again. Zak getting closed off from Fisk because he thinks about it all the time and Fisk knows why he can’t sleep at night but Zak doesn’t want to talk about it. Drew can’t stop watching Zak when he’s sleeping until she’s sure he’s breathing, then Doc tells her she needs to sleep but he stays behind to make sure himself. Doyle spending as much time with his nephews as he can since he almost lost his favorite person and all he could think about when Zak was gone was that he didn’t have enough time with him, but being scared of the idea of having his own kids because he knows he can’t go through what Doc and Drew almost did. Doc considering getting a different lifestyle altogether when the cryptid war is over because of everything that happened. Zak fighting with his parents about what he can and can’t do until Drew yells that she can’t lose him again. 

I was just informed that stoners have a lower sex drive because the weed can kill a mans libido and hell I never once even thought to question this before… and it makes a lot of sense for my ego in hindsight. 

Ging and Pariston are at the grocery store and a rock song comes on and Pariston says “Oh, I love this song.” And Ging just looks at him like he’s grown a second head because he thinks Pariston listens to classical music or something. Pariston insists that he also listens to metal, and Ging laughs in his face.

“Yeah, because you’re so hardcore.” 

Pariston calmly reaches through the glass on the deli case and grabs a ham. With shards of glass sticking out of his arm, he says “I killed a man in a mosh pit once.”