i obviously still have those feelings in me somewhere ... thats because they never left

anonymous asked:

(au) Ian as the ROTC leader of the school and Mickey being a pissed off parent so he goes down to the school to have a "talk" (threaten) him. He could be single, married, whatever you choose. Do with this what you will.

// ok so just for background: Mickey slept with Svetlana as a drunken dare, years ago, and she got pregnant. (She’s still a prostitute). He’s still gay but he hasn’t really ever acted on it (some casual sex maybe) and he’s closeted, but not as severely as he was on the show. He and Svetlana aren’t together, nor have they ever been. They raise Yev together but they don’t live together. And they don’t hate each other! Mickey and Ian have never met before //

// this is a total oneshot with no relation to any plotline or story I’ve written before //

Mickey was reading the paper in the kitchen when he heard the front door open. Yev always came by after his ROTC sessions on Thursday afternoons to see him. His son was usually in a good mood, but today he entered the room looking pretty downcast.

‘What’s up kid?’

Yev shrugged, opening the fridge and grabbing some juice. ‘Session was shitty,’ he said dully.

Mickey immediately got on his defence. ‘What happened? Somebody say something to you? Somebody hurt you?’

Yev came to sit opposite his father. ‘Just…these guys. It’s like they always have it out for me. I don’t expect them to be really nice or anything, I mean, it’s ROTC. But this is…something else.’

'What do they do?’

Yev’s eyes flickered to the table.

'They say stuff. About Mom.’

Mickey frowned. ‘What the fuck do they say about her?’

'They call her a - a whore. A slut,’ he said sadly. 'And they said I was an accident. They said I was a - an actual son of a bitch.’

Mickey sighed. ‘You know they’re just stupid idiots, right? Bored with their own dumb lives so they have to pick apart yours? We both know your Mom’s not a bitch.’

'That’s what I said. I said, don’t call my Mom a bitch. And then,’ he looked at Mickey, 'they said they didn’t mean my Mom when they said that. They - they meant my Dad,’ he said quietly.

Mickey didn’t say anything. He froze.

'Dad, I know you’re gay,’ Yev said gently.

He still didn’t say anything. ‘I, uh, I gotta go out,’ he said, voice tight and monotonous. He stood up to leave, to run away from this. Just like he did when he was seventeen. But Yev tugged on his arm and made him sit down again.

'No, we have to talk about this. Please,’ Yev begged. Mickey finally made himself meet his son’s eyes. They were full of worry and care. So Mickey sat down again.

'How did you know? Your Mom say something?’

Yev shook his head. ‘I’m sixteen, Dad, I’m not stupid. I see when guys come here, and I know they’re not ‘checking the pipes’ like you used to tell me. I see random shit lying around the house that doesn’t belong to us, and I know a guy left it here. I understand the innuendo-laced jokes that Mom and Mandy throw at you. And last year I - I accidentally found your DVDs,’ he said, embarrassed.

'What?’

'The porn, Dad. All guy-on-guy. I watched a bit of one, I was curious. Didn’t really do much for me, but if it does it for you, that’s fine, Dad. It’s cool. I don’t care as long as you’re alright. And you’re happy. I’m still your son and I still love you,’ Yev told him.

'Kinda feel like it’s the parent who’s supposed to say that stuff when their kid comes out to them. Not the other way around,’ Mickey said. But he pulled Yev into a firm hug. 'Thanks.’

'So anyway. I couldn’t stand to hear them talk about you and Mom like that. They called you…all sorts. But then they just kept chanting the same stuff over and over. Same word. Faggot’ He mumbled, hating the word.

'Well it’s not like I’ve not heard it before.’

'Well I hadn’t. Not in that context,’ Yev said glumly. 'It was on the walk home. They live a few streets over so it’s mostly the same route. They just kept shouting it, about you. And I hated it, I hated hearing them talk about you like that. It’s not even bad, it’s not one of your faults…why do they call you out on that instead of for something real?’

'People can be really fucking awful, Yev,’ Mickey told him. 'Believe me.’

'And it was that, along with everything about Mom. I started crying. I couldn’t help it.’

'I told you to never let people see you cry. They use it against you.’

'Yeah, they did. They kicked me.’

'They fucking hurt you?’

'Yeah because I - I tried to stand up to them.’

'Well that was never gonna work. One of you and how many of them?’

'Four.’

'Exactly. What’d you do, try and hit them?’

'No. I wouldn’t do that. I - I told them that my dad liking what he likes don’t make him a bitch,’ Yev explained.

Mickey felt his heart glowing with pride and almost felt tearful. He couldn’t think of what to say. He just clasped his son’s hand and laughed. ‘You really are my fucking son, aren’t you.’

Yev smiled. They were quiet for a moment. Then Mickey stood up. ‘Ok. I’m going to get Indian for dinner.’ Yev grinned. ‘Yeah yeah, I know it’s your favourite. You deserve it, kid,’ Mickey said, leaning to kiss him.

'Get samosas too?’ Yev asked.

'Sure. Back in a bit. Hey, do your homework, yeah? I don’t want your Mom saying I’m too easy going.’

Yev laughed. ‘Like anyone could ever think that.’

Mickey smiled and left.

-

He did go to the Indian restaurant and place an order, but they told him it wouldn’t be ready for nearly an hour. So he sat in the waiting area for a couple of minutes, flicking absently through a magazine. Then he knew he had to do something about those fucking neighbourhood assholes. So he pocketed his order number and was out the door, charging back the way he’d come.

He wasn’t intending on going after the kids directly. Sure when he was younger, he’d have gone straight to their place and bashed them a little to show them who was boss. But now he was an adult and he wouldn’t get away with it. And he didn’t want to set that kind of example to Yev. He didn’t want his son to grow up thinking that violence was always the solution like he himself had done for a long time. Too long.

So instead he headed for the ROTC centre, hoping that someone would be there he could talk to.

It was pretty empty. Most of the staff had left. The receptionist was still there though. ‘Can I help you?’

'Yeah, I need to speak to whoever runs the 16-18 group. My son’s in it. Yevgeny Milkovich.’

'Let’s see…you need Ian Gallagher. I don’t think he’s gone home yet. Try the office down the hall and to the left. His name’s on the door.’

'Thank you,’ Mickey nodded at her and made his way to this Ian Gallagher’s office and knocked on the door.

'It’s open,’ came his voice. So Mickey stepped inside. 'Can I help you?’ Mickey was initially taken aback by how young he was. He thought the young army guys were all fighting in some war somewhere, and the old ones were left here to run youth programmes like this. And not only was Ian Gallagher young, but he was fucking gorgeous. 'Sir?’ Mickey realised he’d just been staring at the man in silence for maybe a little too long.

'Yes. My son is a member. Yevgeny.’

Ian smiled. ‘Yes, Milkovich. He’s fantastic. Dedicated, loyal, talented. He could have a real future here. One of the best we’ve got.’

'That’s great, but he got home an hour ago and turns out he’s having a rough time.’

Ian raised his eyebrows. ‘Well I’m sorry to hear that. Something I did?’

Mickey shook his head. ‘No, it’s nothing to do with you. He thinks you’re great, actually. Really respects you. No, this is some other kids in the group. Messing with him. Giving him shit he doesn’t deserve.’

Ian couldn’t help but smirk at his cursing. ‘And what, ah, shit would that be?’

'They’re saying things to him. Mean things.’ He paused. 'Look, his Mom used to be a prostitute. I don’t know how they found that out, but either way, they’re insulting her, and him. Calling her names. And obviously he’s upset. It’s his Mom.’

Ian nodded. ‘I’m sorry. Clearly they’re doing it out of earshot but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel responsible for it happening. You and your wife must be very annoyed.’

Mickey hesitated. Normally he’d just go with it or lie by omission. But not this time. Not to this guy. ‘Actually I’m gay. We’re on good terms but she’s nothing more than a friend. Although yeah, she’s gonna be pissed when she hears.’

Ian nodded, taking it in stride, but Mickey didn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth turned upwards ever so slightly.

Mickey continued, ‘and the kids know too, and when they stopped using Yev’s mother to torture him, they moved on to me. Look, I can handle it when it’s said to my face, but when they’re saying it to my son? That’s not ok. At all.’

'I understand. Truly. I’m going to do something about this. You’re right. No-one should have to deal with shit like that,’ Ian smiled at Mickey as he swore.

'Yeah. Well. Forgive me for not having a great deal of faith. From experience, I guess you’re just gonna give them a slap on the wrist, if that,’ he said, getting up to leave. Ian swiftly walked around the desk, blocking Mickey’s exit.

'I’m absolutely not going to be apathetic about this. I take sexism and homophobia very seriously,’ Ian told him, gradually closing space between himself and Mickey.

'And how do I know you’re not just saying that?’ Mickey asked, also drawing closer to Ian.

Ian paused, and then grinned as he leaned in to kiss Mickey, hard. They kissed roughly for a moment, before Mickey broke away. ‘Seriously?’ Ian nodded, and Mickey laughed, taking off his shirt.

Ian quickly undressed too, reaching around Mickey to lock the door. He kissed him again, moaning. ‘Shit, I can’t get enough of your lips,’ he murmured between kisses.

'You ain’t seen nothing yet,’ Mickey said, as he dropped to his knees and practically ripped Ian’s boxers off. 'Fuck,’ he whispered, before taking him in his mouth. Ian’s hand rested on the back of his head and they settled into a rhythm. But before Mickey could finish him, Ian pulled away. Mickey looked up at him questioningly, but Ian shook his head.

'I want to fuck you,’ he said breathlessly, pulling Mickey up and pinning him against the desk in one motion. He leaned back, reaching for his wallet and retrieving a condom. Mickey barely had time to focus before Ian was inside him. He didn’t ease in or prep him, nothing. Just right in all at once. He knew what he wanted and Mickey liked that. A lot.

'Shit, Gallagher,’ he groaned, feeling Ian hit all the right notes. This guy, this damn guy…Mickey knew it was the best sex he’d had in a long while. Maybe the best sex ever. Ian had an arm wrapped around his waist, and Mickey grabbed his hand, mashing their fingers together as Ian stifled a yell by biting his shoulder.

When he came, it was fucking glorious.

Their movements slowed, as Ian kissed Mickey’s neck, then jawline. It was softer now, gentler. He slid out so that Mickey could turn and kiss him properly. ‘That was…pretty amazing,’ Mickey whispered. Ian smiled. ‘You do this with every pissed off Dad who comes in here?

'Of course not,’ Ian said. 'Only the gay ones,’ he added with a grin. Mickey laughed. 'Which is, so far, just you.’

'I’m glad about that.’ Ian cocked his head curiously.

'Why are you glad?’

Mickey shrugged. ‘Just am.’

They slowly began putting their clothes back on. ‘Hey, Ian. You think maybe…maybe I could see you again?’

'I’ll see you in your dreams,’ Ian replied, grinning. Mickey looked blank. 'You never watched Queer as Folk? What kind of homosexual are you?’

'The kind that fucks guys.’ Ian laughed.

'Look, do you want to get a drink sometime or not?’ Mickey asked.

'I thought that usually happened before intercourse,’ he said.

Mickey laughed. ‘Who the fuck calls it intercourse?’ Ian smiled.

'A drink sounds good. Here’s my number,’ he said, grabbing a scrap of paper and scribbling down his digits. 'Call me?’

Mickey took the paper. ‘Yeah. Definitely.’ He opened the door and glanced back at Ian, who kissed him lightly. ‘Later.’

-

Mickey walked into his house and dumped the bags of food on the table. ‘Sorry it took so long. They had a lot of orders.’

’S'fine. Mandy’s here,’ Yev said.

'Hey big brother,’ his sister waved from where she was perched on the kitchen counter.

'What are you doing here?’

'Nice to see you too. Jesus. I was returning your toolbox.’

'Oh, yeah. Thanks.’ Mickey said, going to hug her and greet her properly.

'So Yev tells me the cat’s out of the bag. The cat being you.’

'Turns out he already knew. But…yeah.’

'It was still great that you admitted it to him. And talked about it. I know…I know you could never do that with any of our family.’

'Did you never tell them?’ Yev asked.

'Oh, I told them alright. It was your christening. I fucking yelled it across the Alibi.’

'So…your whole family was there?’

Mickey nodded. ‘Whole family and then some. Aside from Mandy. She was at work.’

'Don’t fucking remind me,’ she said. 'I’ve always regretted taking that extra shift.’

'What happened?’ Yev asked.

Mandy looked at Mickey sadly.

Mickey looked at his son for a second before answering. ‘My Dad beat the shit out of me. He just started screaming and charging at me. Like a fucking bull. He pinned me down on the floor and hit me, and he kept hitting me. He was so much bigger than me. I couldn’t move. And there was nobody there to get him off of me. Eventually he knocked me unconscious.’

'And then I get a call from the police. They’d taken Dad away and Mickey was I’m the hospital. I get there as fast as I can. He’s in a coma. Broken arm, fractured collarbone. Nose totally smashed. Face covered in bruises and blood. I just sat there, crying over him, wondering why Dad would do this to him. Eventually I realised. I know what made Dad fly off the handle. And I’d had my suspicions about Mickey but never dwelled on them. But then it all made sense.’

'When I woke up, the police came to talk to me. They told me what had happened. He’d kept beating me even after I blacked out. And he wasn’t sorry.’ Mickey looked up at his son. Yev was pale and his eyes were heavy with tears. Mickey was about to go hug him, when Yev stood up and came over to him and stood beside him.

He wrapped his arms around his father, crying into his shoulder. ‘I can’t believe that happened to you,’ Yev sobbed. Mickey held on to him, trying not to cry himself, trying to be strong for his son. He hadn’t seen Yev cry for years. ‘Dad that’s…horrific. I know why you always changed the subject when I asked about your family. I can’t - Dad - you could’ve died,’ he choked.

'Yeah but I didn’t. I didn’t. And I’m so fucking glad he didn’t kill me because I got to raise you. You’re the most important thing. You’re the only important thing I’ve ever had in my life. Everything else before you were born was just buildup. I know I’m not father of the year or whatever but I try my best. Because - I know what it’s like when your dad doesn’t give a shit. I know what it’s like when your dad makes your life a living hell. That’s why I hate it when you’re annoyed or upset with me, even over something small or stupid, because I hate the idea that I’ve made you feel even remotely how my dad made me feel. And ever since I can remember, I’ve just been so fucking scared, Yev, that I’m going to become my father,’ Mickey said quietly.

His son pulled back and looked at him. ‘Dad, no. You’re the best Dad. Ok? It doesn’t matter that you’re not rich, that you never finished school, that you’re not some cookie-cutter doctor or lawyer father with a wife and white picket fence. You’re the best Dad because you’re always here for me, no matter what. I can tell you anything. You help me with schoolwork, you come to my parent teacher conferences. Even though you and Mom aren’t together, you make sure that this is never a broken home. But most of all, Dad, you have never hurt me, and I never question the fact that you love me. And I - I love you too.’

'Shit,’ Mickey muttered, wiping away his tears. 'Come here,’ he said, hugging him tightly. Yev was almost taller than he was. 'I’m sorry I never told you. I was worried it would fuck you up. And then as you got older I was worried you wouldn’t respect me or you’d hate me.’

'I understand why you couldn’t tell me. It’s ok. It’s not about me. This is who you are.’

They all stood in silence for a minute or so. Then Mandy offered to reheat the food, and they all ate together, laughing and joking like usual.

Afterwards, as Mickey was clearing the table, Yev suddenly spoke. ‘Where is your Dad?’

Mickey paused, and looked at Mandy. After a moment, he spoke. ‘He’s in prison. He got twenty years.’

Yev frowned. ‘So he’s getting out in four years? If it happened when I was a baby?’

'He got five more years because of bad behaviour, a few years back. But then that got reduced to two and a half. So he gets out in about six years. Provided it doesn’t change again,’ Mandy explained.

'Are you scared?’

'Yes.’ Micky’s single word hung densely in the air.

'Will they give him a restraining order or something?’

'Probably. But knowing him, that won’t work.’ There was a pause. Mickey saw the angry, determined look on his son’s face. 'Hey, do not go looking for him. Under any circumstances. Ok?’

'I won’t,’ Yev agreed. But that was one promise he probably wouldn’t keep.

-

A little over a week later, Yev rolled out of bed. Saturday morning was when he went running, and he immediately pulled on some clothes. He’d shower when he got back, but he needed to pee. He walked down the hall towards the bathroom, but saw it was locked. He could hear his Dad peeing, so he leaned against the wall and waited. After a moment, he heard the toilet flush and then the door opened. His mouth dropped open. He was face to face with his ROTC instructor. His shirtless ROTC instructor.

'Morning, Milkovich,’ Ian said simply, grinning at him cheerfully.

Yev just watched him walk back towards his Dad’s room, still in disbelief. His instructor was gay? And he was dating his Dad? His head was spinning.

But then he smiled. He realised that his Dad wasn’t hiding this stuff from him anymore. And that was fucking great.

// the end. Hope this was ok. It ended up being longer and deeper than I originally intended. (plus you’ll notice I planted the seeds for a potential follow up…let me know if you want me to write that! Otherwise PLEASE keep prompting me!! //

YOU ARE BEING FOOLED!!!

It makes me SO MAD how socially unacceptable it is to want to save money!!!! There is a HUUUUGE disconnect between all the people who want to be rich and are dying for more money but make you feel super lame if you don’t wanna get coffee or go to the movies because you don’t wanna spend extra money!!!!! GRRRRRR!!!! I used to be a victim of this AWFUL mindset and now that I’ve seen the light I just wanna cry when I think of all the thousands of dollars I wasted buying expensive food when there was a cheaper option or going to the movies like six times a month or paying way too much for parking when I was only gonna be somewhere for an hour….. The list goes on and on and on. The word “thousands” probably shocks you and that’s cuz no one promotes how quickly it all adds up, but the reality is we have all spent THOUSANDS in our lifetime and a LOT of it was unnecessary!!!!!!! IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!!!!!
Here’s the problem: many people are in debt. They don’t talk about it. Many people have like no money in their accounts, it’s all tied up in bills and money owed and expenses. Very normal. Especially young people, we just seem to have no money. We all wanna have fun and enjoy our lives, we do NOOOT wanna miss out, and life seems to cost a lot of money so we think we just have to spend it all and then we are stuck.
It’s been made VERY normal, at least in America and places I’ve been, to eat out constantly, go to the movies regularly, go to events our friends are going to, have the nicest car, nicest clothes, nicest anything you can afford so you can “rank” well against others, and if you don’t wanna do those things you will be looked at as very weird. Lots of people will call you boring or lame and you will probably feel bad about yourself.
Behind the scenes we’re all like, “geez this is so expensive” “omg that’s my bill this month!?!” “THATS how much I spent!??!?!” “Aw man I have like no money left” “how do people afford this???” THATS THE THING THO. THEY DONT. THEY HAVE NO MONEY IN THEIR ACCOUNTS. JUST LIKE YOU. I AM SO MAD THAT WE ARE ALL BEING TRICKED!!!!!!! We’re like “wow everyone else is doing so well, they’re eating out and driving nice cars and living in a nice place and wearing nice clothes, how come they can afford it so much easier than I can!?!” but that’s the trick!!! THEY ARE IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU. THEY ARE SPENDING ALL OF THEIR MONEY TO MAINTAIN THIS COSTLY LIFESTYLE THAT IS SWALLOWING THEM ALIVE. HE WHO SPENDS HIS MONEY FAST WILL LOSE IT FAST. Everyone is trying to act as rich as they can to impress a bunch of people who are also secretly struggling to appear as rich as they can!!! BUT ITS ALL A SHAM!!!!!!!
Now let me be clear, it probably sounds like I’m saying you should never spend money on anything. No, that’s not it. I’m also fully aware that there are plenty of people in the world who are barely getting by and they don’t have extra money to spend, period. This obviously doesn’t apply to them lol. What I’m saying is decide what is an absolute necessity and keep paying for that. Like don’t skip your bills haha. But anything you don’t absolutely NEED, try to go without it more often! If you get coffee every day for like $4.00, you’re like whatever 4 bucks is nothing, that doesn’t matter. But 4 bucks a day is $28 a week, $112 a month and $1,344 a year. A thousand bucks a year on coffee alone if you get it every day!!! Even if you cut back from every day to just twice a week, you would save 960 dollars in a year. Make your coffee at home for crying out loud! Hahaha I know it’s fun to eat out and stuff but when you think of how much money you’ll have when you do it less often, it’s a lot easier to turn it down here and there. Also when you eat out every day it’s not even fun anymore, it’s just a fix you need to get by. The more you go without it, the more special and fun it is when you do eat out! Go through your receipts/bank statement right now, I dare you. Look at what you spend the most on cuz I bet you a lot of it is food!! Haha and the thing is you can eat more (which is awesome lol) if you buy stuff at the grocery store and just bring it with you! I do this all the time it’s so awesome!! I bring pb&j sandwiches, snack bars, grapes, mini oranges, goldfish, fruit snacks, whatever is in my pantry. It saves me SO MUCH MONEY because I don’t get stuck in a hungry pinch an hour after I left the house, desperately searching for something quick to eat. I already have it with me!
I love my life SO MUCH. I have a ton of fun, I do fun things all the time, I have great friendships and an awesome relationship with my family and I feel a lot happier than most people I know. I don’t feel like I’m missing out at all, quite the opposite! I still go to concerts, I still buy albums, I still go to dinner once in a while, I still see movies, I just CHOOSE WISELY. I make sure I’m only spending that extra entertainment money on things I REALLY want. When I hang out with my friends, I just invite them over to watch a movie or go swimming or go for a hike or a walk downtown or something that doesn’t cost money. If they say they wanna hang out and propose an idea that costs, I don’t say yes right away unless it’s something I’m dying to do and I have money in my budget that I can use for that. Otherwise, I’ll suggest another idea that’s free or much cheaper. And a lot of times they’re relieved! The reality is I’m not the only one who likes to save, a lot of people really appreciate that too 😂
It might seem lame not getting coffee 24/7, staying in some weekends instead of blowing your money at the bar, learning to do your own nails, shopping at thrift stores instead of the super expensive places at the mall, bringing snacks and cooking your own food, but I didn’t feel lame buying myself a car at age 21. I don’t feel lame paying all my own bills and being 100% financially independent. And I certainly don’t feel lame owning a house at age 22 hahaha.
And btw, you don’t have to have a bajilion dollars to do any of that! You just have to cut back here and there and then put that extra money in savings. You’d be AMAZED at how much those little things add up, only instead of watching them add up in horror as you go through your receipts, you’ll be watching them add up in pure delight as you check your savings account each month 😎💰 ahahaha
This is information no one shared with me until the last few years and it CHANGED MY LIFE so I wanted to share it with anyone who wants to take away all that monetary stress and financial burden and just relax and feel taken care of!!! It is a GREAT feeling and a feeling you can have sooner than you think if you just start paying more attention and making those small changes! Good luck!!! 😁

anonymous asked:

do you feel like any of the fae feel some type of way about 'dating' and their age. like 500 year old High Lord is basically mated to a baby in their eyes. I mean obviously it's not like that but do you think some people would just flat out think that's weird, like if they both grew up in Prythian and a 300 year old falls in love with an 80 year old and then they're just like.... I was there when your mother birthed you, ya know lol #weirdlatenightthoughts

NO BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY SUPER INTERESTING. And it’s something I want to see Feyre, Nesta and Elain confront. Not necessarily the dating thing but just this concept of immortality and the fact that they have all become immortal when they’ve lived with mortality their entire lives and this shapes them.

 Human beings are shaped by this mortality, we are driven by it, it instils a sense of urgency in us, it gives us motivation and ambition, the desire to make our mark. We’re only going to be on this planet for at most 100 years or so which does two things.

 First it gives us a certain timeline, we’re born, we grow up, we are educated initially, we learn in whatever environment we’re in whatever we need to. We seek out partners/people to spend our time with, start a family with and then we gradually move into the phase of passing on those lessons. But we have certain goals and milestones, education, work, family, retirement, our lives are mapped out by our mortality, we are generally expected to fall into this pattern and it’s dictated by our short lifespan. 

And secondly it drives us. We only have a limited time to pursue our ambitions our hobbies and our projects, if we haven’t completed our goals by the time we die then that’s it so we have a sort of seize the day attitude because we don’t have unlimited time in which to do things. 

But Feyre, Elain and Nesta, who have grown up under these conditions and were expected to adhere to them, now have this unrestricted immortality spread out before them and I feel like this is the kind of thing that would concern them? Because they’re approaching it with very mortal hearts and minds as they were all human. But for Fae I imagine that age really and truly is just a number (I’m pretty sure once they get to a certain point it’s like, yeah this is my fifth century…maybe sixth idk man I stopped keeping track somewhere around 200) 

I mean, this is a concern for us because we see age relative to our general lifespan? You’re young as a child in comparison to someone who’s lived double the amount of time you’ve been on the planet, you get things like ‘middle-aged’ we deal with things in generations and everything becomes relative. You’re young compared to x person or y person, you’re a fifth of the way through your lifespan or a half, there are these markers and comparisons that the Fae just don’t have. 

How do you define old and young in a race where you don’t age and die? We can say that 200 or 500 or 600 is old/ancient because to us it is but to them I feel like they don’t really have this concept? Because they don’t age and they don’t die they just continue so I feel like this doesn’t matter all that much to them? I feel like they don’t really do the relative thing all that much because it’s impossible to get a measuring stick and start making comparisons when said measuring stick never ends so where do you start marking intervals and breaks? 

So I feel like they’re pretty chill on the whole age thing because its’ like, if you meet someone when you’re 80 and they’re 300 you’re still going to have eternity left with that person. Which is why everyone is pretty chilled with Rhys/Feyre because they’re both immortal so they’ve got the rest of forever to spend with each other either way. And in Fae senses I believe Feyre would be considered an adult. Their initial maturing and growing period seems to be similar to ours (Mor was fine to be married off at 17; which is typical of humans in this world as well, so she clearly wasn’t an infant and had matured at roughly the same rate as a human girl) 

 I think experience is different and someone incredibly young might have difficulty relating to someone much much older than them because they just haven’t seen or done as much but that’s more personal than cultural. Culture wise I think they’re probably fairly relaxed about it all. But again this is another thing that they’re probably cool with about Rhys and Feyre? because she doesn’t have the same number of years as he does but experience wise, his has been more protracted and drawn out but Feyre has been supporting her family and keeping herself alive since the age of 14. She’s been in love, she’s seen death, she’s killed, she’s suffered for that. They relate to each other on an experience level because they have a lot of the same experiences and that breeds a similar understanding and empathy and bond which is more important than their relative ages.

 AND WOW THIS GOT LIKE WEIRDLY DEEP I’M SORRY? 

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on Lusamine?

Ooh boy this might be controversial so bear with me here.

First I think she’s the best villain we’ve had and the only one with shades of grey behind her. She’s human. I want to hate her but…I can’t. Don’t get me wrong I don’t condone ANY of her actions in the game and think she needs consequences for her actions and I absolutely hate what she did, hell when playing the game I wanted her to die or at least get arrested. But the game literally pushes she can be redeemed into your face with both Lillie’s actions and her backstory. Because this is Pokemon you know that’s what they want you to take from it, no other villain has ever been pushed as redeemable. She went off the deep end after losing her husband. Imagine being in that position, like most Pokemon characters she became obsessed with getting him back and that’s where the ultra beast obsession came from. She’s not okay mentally. I’ve seen my own mother lose it just from a divorce she became a completely different person, more abrasive, this is when I started getting spanked as a child. Was what she did okay? No. But I forgave her. Not on the same level obviously but the game does give you that bit of backstory so yeah imagine not even knowing if your husband is alive.

Plus I’m pretty sure she had a toxin problem too. “Nihilego is a parasitic organism, capable of injecting a neurotoxin that subtly alters the thoughts and actions of any human or Pokémon that becomes its host. This neurotoxin stimulates intense feelings of excitement while causing a loss of inhibitions, which acts to forcibly bring out any latent potential within the host while wearing away at their minds.” So add in the grief of losing her husband, with the obsession of getting him back slowly warping her mind I understand why she went batshit insane. Lots of those probably were her thoughts a little but not to that intense level. I just wonder when she got infected they hinted she was but they never really gave us a when it happened.

As for abuse? No hints of the level Tumblr takes it to whatsoever, there’s treating her children like objects and ignoring them yes and thats terrible. That’s child endangerment after all. Possible manipulation is doable too. But I doubt she starved or beat them like some people think. And she’s not even close to Ghetsis’s level. Lillie even recalls a nice memory of her when they both played together in the rain, left Alola to get her mother better after everything went down, and tells her mom off but still wants to help her. Someone abused would not put that much effort into getting someone back. Again showing us that wasn’t really Lusamine but someone who lost her mind a long time ago. Honestly I want a sequel/prequel just to see who she used to be, and if bean man will ever remember who he used to be/see him as a researcher in the past.

I would compare her to Professor Fuji from the first movie, he lost his daughter and was obsessed with bringing her back. So much so his wife left him as he became deeper and deeper lost in his obsession. He didn’t have the toxin problem though but research crazy characters who harm the people around them are not something new to Pokemon. This is the first time we’ve been such a part of it.

Now the anime could change this, especially with anime Lillie being terrified of touching Pokemon after going somewhere with Lusamine but I don’t think they’ll change it as far as Lusamine abused her or experimented on her.

Matthew Espinosa Imagine; By Your Side ♥

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon, and your boyfriend, Matt, was at a meeting/event about 2 hours away.

He non-stop texted you the whole time he was there.

M; y/n I miss you so much, I wish you were with me right now.. )’: 

You; babe.. I don’t want you to disappoint your fans.

M; I know.. but, you tweeted that you were really sick, and you wished I was there.. I don’t want to disappoint any fans either, but if you need me, then I need to be with you baby. ):

You; just get through the event, and please don’t worry about me.. I love you. ♥

M; I love you too y/n. 

You deep down, did really want him home, but you didn’t want all the fans to be disappointed and hate you. You took your temperature for the second time in 4 hours, the thermometer resulted, 101.2. You felt like your face was on fire, your body was so hot. The fever was taking big effect. 

You didn’t want to go through any cramps, or major head aches anymore, so you took a little nap. And, ended up dreaming about Matt, on the beach at night, alone, which was your guys’ first date.

The wonderful little dream came to an end, you firstly looked at your phone to see it was 5:55. You stretched a bit, but before the cramps and all kicked in once again you went to get some chips. As you were in the kitchen downstairs, you got a FaceTime, a smile spread across your face, as it was Matthew calling. You answered, and waited to see the face you yearned to see through this horrible sickness..

M; you okay baby? 

He had a sad look, you knew he didn’t like being seperated from you, but you pretended the best you could..

You; yeah Matt! I’m feeling better. 

M; don’t lie to me y/n, have you forgotten I can read your emotion through those beautiful bright eyes?

You; well I had to try babe, I don’t want you to worry about me..

M; so if I was you right now, and you were me.. your telling me, you wouldn’t be worried?

You; well.. yeah..

You huffed. He was always right.. 

You; wait, why are you outside? Aren’t your supposed to be with Nash, Hayes, Cam, and Carter at that meeting?

M; Uhmm.. that took a three day delay. Stephen had an emergency, so it was cancelled.. i’m by myself now.

You; oh.. Well, babe, just text me. I don’t want you to see me like this right now..

M; If thats what you want baby. I love you.

You hung up, right after he blew a kiss.

“I swear I know that yard from somewhere..” you thought to yourself, you had seen Matt’s background on FaceTime.

You were just done making some nachos, headed to your cacoon in bed, to watch Netflix for the rest of the night.

You were in the middle of watching an episode of Pretty Little Liars, when you heard a loudish crash in the living room. You immediately thought it was your three dogs wrestling around, and shrugged it off. 

You were slowly dozing off, into your land of dreams once again. Suddenly, you jumped as a warm body came next to you. You sat up rubbing your eyes, to see a loving Matthew now laying on your bed. 

“OH MY GOD! MATTTT!” you shouted grasping him into a hug. He smiled, beginning to lean in for a kiss, you pulled back. “Uhmm, Matt, No. I’m sick remember?" 

He shrugged, "I don’t care. Y/n, even if your sick, I still want millions of kisses. And, if I do get sick, we’ll be sick together beautiful.” He filled the gap between you, taking you into his arms kissing you like it was your last.

“That’s what I was missing, I should have never left you here by yourself..” he whispered pulling you close to his chest, you loved the feeling of his soft, warm bare chest on your skin. It tranced you into a droopy sleepy mood, your sick body convinced you, you needed to sleep.

He seen your phone continuously light up, and checked it for you. As he scrolled through what it looked like was Twitter, you seen a tear roll down his face.

You instantly sat up, “Babe. What’s wrong?” you wrapped your hands around his neck, and your legs around his torso while climbing onto his lap. Taking your phone, tossing it across the room out of his reach.

“The fans. I really don’t understand them. They hate on you, because I want to take care of you? I’m making a huge announcement on Instagram and Twitter tomorrow. Until they can learn that, even though I do love them, your safety and health comes first, I am taking a break from social media. It disappoints me, so much, I know their better than that.. They shouldn’t be taking anything out on you either, y/n..” he wiped the straggling tears from his cheeks, hugging you tightly.

“Well, I don’t really blame them. You were their’s first..” you whispered, flopping into a laying position, he follows laying down, facing you. Lacing your cold hands, with his. 

“They don’t own me y/n.. Yeah, I do love them and all, but they have to understand that I obviously wasn’t going to be single forever, and still after 9 months they haven’t gotten over the fact that i’m in love, with you..” he look very flustered, you could tell. His eyes always told his deep story.

You cuddled up to him before saying anything else..

“Okay, well it doesn’t get to me anymore Matt.. The first month or two was the only time it actually got to me.. Can we just appreciate the fact that were together now..?” you changed the subject as best as you could.

“Of course baby.. It still just amazes me though, that even when your sick, you look like a super model. I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone in this world y/n.” He kissed you, slowly, but it felt like it was for the longest time.

“Really? You wouldn’t even trade me for food?!” you shockly looked up at him to see a smile brighten across his face, instantly making you smile.

“Well.. Food is food. Food makes me keeps me alive, helps me through bored'em. But if I didn’t have you i’d die, so yeah, you over food any day..” he gave you that cheeky, cheesy smile that he knew made you melt like butter.

“Damn.. I must be super important..” you wrapped one cold hand, that instantly warmed up, around his hot neck and skin. You rested your face into the warm, inviting crook of his neck. He wrapped both of his arms around your body, making you feel safe and secure, pulling you closer to him. Like every other night. 

Matt, pressed play on Pretty Little Liars, so you could fall asleep better. 

But, that wasn’t the thing that made you fall asleep, he whispered continuously, until he knew you were asleep, “Your my flawless baby, I love you so much..” kissing the surface of your skin, on your jawline, with his exceptionally soft lips. While rubbing, softly, small circle patterns on your stomach, trying to help your cramps go away. He quickly gave you a soft peck on the lips, seeing that you were drifting away to your second world of endless dreams. 

How’d you guys like? I hope you enjoyed! ♥ None of you seize to amaze me with your amazing feedback. I love you all so so much!! (: Guess what? My requests are BACK open! ♥ Request as much as you want, i’ll be having a lot more access to my laptop, so all requested imagines will be done! (: Stay beautiful, all of you. ♥

Unsaid words 2

Heya dumplings! I’ve had several requets to do a part 2 to the Jongin scenario so here it is! I ended up making Yeolie another lead-ish character to add more to the story so i really hope you guys like it, thank you for requesting! (Sorry to see but the angst is still very real in this aha)~~

Here’s part 1 if you interested - http://kpopships-and-more.tumblr.com/post/118868700439/scenario-where-you-leave-kai-to-study-in-europe

Part 3: http://kpopships-and-more.tumblr.com/post/119535953149/unsaid-words-3


As you walked down desolate street shadows from street lamp seemed to follow you like demons of the night, the scene from a week ago still played fresh in your memory like a movie that was on a constant loop and it seemed like you had cried till you had run out of tears, all that was left was an empty shell of a person seeking comfort from the one person that you knew could never give it to you. You had tried to call him so many times picking up the phone and just staring at the number on the screen, wondering what you would say and the thought of Jongin telling you that he had moved on would only make it too real, you knew if you heard those words there would be no going back, you feared that a hole would be torn into your heart so big that no one would ever be able to heal it.

The convenience store was nearly empty the guy behind the till looking like he had drunk a few too many giving you a placid nod of the head as you walked in towards the freezer, nothing screams heartbreak like a few tubs of ice cream. You pulled your hoodie over you head a little lower as you noticed a guy that was  looking at the same place as you, he towered at leas 4 or 5 feet taller than you, not that it was surprising since you were the size of a prepubescent boy.

“Excuse-”

He jumped and you could have sworn you heard him sigh “Yeah its me and really sorry but-”

“Do I know you?” You asked as you peered at his face trying to find something familiar in his features though that was pretty hard to do considering it was covered with a mask.

“Oh” He his gaze shifted around the shop and if you were honest he looked a little embarrassed “I’m Chanyeol, you know from…”

His sentence faded out when he saw your blank expression, you were 100% sure you didn’t know him, it would be pretty hard to forget those elf ears.

“Are you sure you don’t know me?” He asked peering down to take a closer look at you face.

You stepped back as your started to get a little annoyed, it was late and you wanted to go home and eat your feelings but that obviously wasn’t going to happen unless the giant moved and let you get what you came for “Should I?”

He cleared his throat and you could see his lips turn up into a smile behind the black mask “I guess not” He cocked his head in your direction “So what are you doing in this dinky shop so late at night”

You sighed pointing at the freezer that contained all the frozen goodness that could give you a momentary peace  “Well I’m trying to buy some ice cream”

When he realized he was still standing in the way he laughed almost apologetically as he moved to the side watching you intently as you picked up not 1 but 3 tubs of Ben and Jerry’s the only men that seemed to give you their undivided attention.

“Is that all for you?” He asked the shock in his voice evident.

You hummed in response, giving him a curt nod goodbye before walking to the counter, the man scanning and packing the items with shaky hands as he extended his hand out too you slurring “That’ll be 12.55 please”

You were about to dig out your purse when a another hand slammed down their card on the wood and as you turned around you came face to face with the same bright pair of brown eyes you had seen moments earlier.

“Its on me”

You passed him his card “No its okay, I have money”

Chanyeol brought a large hand to your head gave you a small pat “Only one kind of person buys that much ice cream and lets just say we’ve all been there”  He handed the card back to cashier “Now let this Oppa help treat that broken heart”

You felt the color rising to your cheeks “But-How did you-”

He gave your shoulder a squeeze and it was like he was trying to hold himself back from touching you too much “Your eyes said it all, you can’t hide that kind of sadness, now let me walk you home”

After 10 minutes of arguing with him about that fact you could get home fine without his help, you had realized that arguing with the friendly giant was futile especially since he seemed to have a knight of shinning armour syndrome, insisting that a girl shouldn’t be walking around at 1 am by herself. Though you had to admit Chanyeol was a smooth talker because somewhere along the way he had managed to coax your number out of you and it wasn’t until you had gotten home and were putting the ice cream in the freezer that  had you noticed in the 40 minutes you had spent talking with Chanyeol you hadn’t thought about Jongin once, the longest you had gone without his face plaguing you mind for a very long time and for the first moment since coming back you had fallen asleep with a smile on your face as you read a goodnight message from Chanyeol, the boy sure doesn’t miss a beat.

It was probably your desire to stop the unbearable pain in your chest but you agreed without a second thought when Chanyeol asked you out and a few months went by before you were calling him your boyfriend. Being with him was easy, he knew how to make you laugh, you liked the way his strong arms could chase away the monsters that pursued you in your head and when he kissed you even if it was for a single moment he made you forget, forget about Jongins tender touch that you craved for desperately. Chanyeol had asked you more than once about the person who broke your heart but he never pushed you, the same way you didn’t talk about Jongin , he didn’t talk about his work, to be completely honest you didn’t even know what he did and it seemed he preferred it that way. You knew it was wrong to lead Chanyeol on the way you were but when you were with him everything just seemed a little…brighter and thats how you ended up at the door of his dorm, the guilt eating away at your insides at the same unbearable rate that hole in the middle of your chest was opening up, getting bigger until one day there would be nothing left of it. The door was pulled open and you were dragged into a warm embrace

“Jagi you came I missed you” You heard him whisper into your ear.

“Mmm, I missed you too Oppa”

He pulled to over to a brunette “Hyung this is the girl I was telling you about”

He smiled and you couldn’t put your finger on it but there was something almost maternal about  his gentleness and the way he politely stretched his hand out to you.

“Hyung you need to say your name she doesn’t know who we are”

Unlike Chanyeol who tried to hide it he looked visible embarrassed as he stuttered out “M-My name is Junmyeon, it’s nice to meet you, I hope you can make yourself at home here”

You gave him a grateful smile as Chanyeol began to try and do introductions, it turns out there was a lot more people here that you had first anticipated so when Chanyeol had left you alone in the lounge to go help a boy named Kyungsoo with the last touches of cooking the meal you felt completely out of place so you had ended up in a corner of the room trying to look occupied until you heard a scarily familiar voice call your name, the voice that was the source of all your pain. As you turned around you closed your eyes and prayed with everything you had that it wasn’t him, there would be no telling how you would react.

But you never were that lucky.

Jongin enveloped you in a hug and you just stood stiff not making any move to return the affection.

“What are you here?” He exclaimed a bright smile on his face.

You had to be strong you just had to “What are you doing here?You asked frowning.

He laughed too caught up the surprise of you presence to notice your quickly souring expression “Well this is my group but-but why didn’t you tell me you were back? its been so long”

He made another attempt to hug you but you put your hand up to stop him “I’ve been busy I guess, I’m here with my boyfriend”

The color seemed to drain from his face as he stared at you wide eyed “Your boyfriend?”

You would have thought it was planned because Chanyeol appeared from the kitchen carrying several plates of food “Ah Jongin you finally meet my girlfriend, I hope you were being nice”

“She-your-”

You glared at him and grabbed plate from Chanyeol before Jongin could finish “Here let me help you Oppa”

It was like something had awakened inside you, a side to your self that even scared you as you found yourself cuddling into Chanyeol only because you knew Jongin watching, laughing a little bit louder as you called him Oppa so Jongin could hear and a part of you seemed to revel in the way his jaw clenched so stiff that you thought it could have snapped. There was a dark fury that burned bright in his eyes and it only egged you on further.

“Oppa you need to eat more carefully” You cooed as you wiped some sauce from the corner of his lip and as you saw Jongin lean in closer to try and get a better look you know there was only one way to finish this as you brought your lips closer until they were finally pressed against Chanyeol’s soft ones. You felt the table vibrate as Jongin smashed his fist on the table.

“You come with me” He said through gritted teeth.

Not even you had the nerve to deny that expression of you pure rage, trying to re assure Chanyeol that everything was fine as you followed Jongin to a vacant room. He shut the door tightly behind you before crossing his arms and staring hard at you.

“How could you not tell me you had a boyfriend” He said slowly his voice shaking with anger.

“I didn’t think it was your business”

He scoffed as he rolled his eyes “After all we’ve been through you don’t even call me to say your home and then you have the nerve to come into my home and do that kind of shit right in front of me?” He shouted.

Your jaw clenched as you began to see red “Why are you acting like its my fault! your the one who moved on first” you shouted back.

For a minute his rage faltered “Wai-wait how do-”

“Why does it matter?” You screamed as you tried to hold back tears “It was you who ruined it first Jongin, that’s right not me but you, so you have no right to come here yelling like its my fault when it was your heartless actions that destroyed everything!”

Something in him seemed to snap because he pushed you againts the wall “Are you serious? you knew how I felt, you have always known, you were the one who-”

“Don’t touch me” You said slowly “Don’t touch me! get off me!”

The door was kicked open and Chanyeol rushed in shoving Jongin off you as he enveloped you in his arms.

“Jongin leave, go calm down somewhere else”

He laughed bitterly “So this is how it is, fucking brilliant, good luck with your boyfriend, lets see how long it lasts”

You heard the door slam with an aggressive bang and it was like your world had crumpled around you, your knees gave way as you sank to the floor, Chanyeol rocking you backwards and forwards, rubbing soothing circles in your back while you bawled you eyes out  as he whispered a series of “Its okay, I;m here, your going to be okay”

But deep down in your heart you knew that it was going to be anything but as the only sliver of hope you had left had been taken from you thrown on the floor and trampled on until nothing was left but its pitiful essence.