i now need this show back in my life

The hair thing is so emotional for me. About a year ago, I called my colorist and was like, “I’m going through so much emotionally. I need a reset. I need you to bleach my hair.” This has been really important for me, as a 27- and 28-year-old, to show myself every morning when I get up that I’m not someone who is going to live in the past. When it’s time for Neon Hayley to come back to life, she will. But right now, this is me.
Okay, march 22

The day of infamy. There are going to be hundreds, if not thousands, of posts saying how much they miss MCR and how much they want them to get back together, and I get it. This band saved my life. (Well the people in the band but…) They made me feel less alone in my feelings and outlooks. I would cry if they got back together, but I’m not going to write about that. They broke up because they needed to. Gerard was at the end of his rope and couldn’t take it any longer. He was starving himself, and resorting to booze and drugs to get through shows. Now look at him. Happy, healthy, and writing comics. He would never be like that if the band didn’t break. Also Frank. He is happy, healthy, and still making music. Touring the world with his band. His music helps many people, including me. Ray and Mikey are happy and healthy. Mikey even has a baby on the way! (Give it up for him. Signing up for a child, that takes courage) So guys, this post was just saying, as Gerard put it-
“My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you. I always knew that, and I think you did too. Because it is not a band – it is an idea.”
The guys are doing what makes them happy and carrying MCR with them as they do so. This day will be sad, most of us will probably cry, but remember, the guys are happy. And that’s what really matters.
-Charlie March 22, 2017

Imagine Jensen and Misha talking about you when you miss a convention.

“Thank you.” Jensen said as he made eye contact with the woman who had just sent her well wishes to you; he patted his heart as he began to think of how he should respond. “It’s a deep emotional bond that we have; that we all have with the show, with you guys, and definitely with one other. When I say that Jared and Y/N are my brother and sister, I mean it; and right now Y/N’s going through a rough time and all the support and love you could give her, I know she’d appreciate it.”

Misha softly nodded his head with Jensen’s words, “Life has thrown Y/N/N so many things this year and right now she just needed to step back and regroup; and I just wanna make sure that everyone here realizes that it’s okay to do that. If you’re going through a tough time, it’s okay to step back and take a break. If you don’t you’ll just wear yourself down until you feel like you can’t get back up.” Misha spoke into his microphone.

“But just know that Y/N sends her love and that she wishes she could be here with us. Jared saw the signs and knew that Y/N needed this break; he had to practically force her to stay behind because she didn’t wanna let you guys down, but Danneel convinced her to stay at our place in Austin to help her take care of the kids; so know that she’s in good hands and she’ll give you guys an update when she’s ready.” Jensen said with a soft smile.

“Now.” Misha said as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together, he realized that Jensen was starting to get upset about you being gone. That’s why Jared wasn’t in the panel yet, he was worried about you so he decided to facetime you real fast, “Who wants to hear about the time that they let Y/N drive the impala and she drove it off the road?” Misha asked with a smirk, Jensen turned his head so fast at Misha’s words that he’s surprised he didn’t pull a muscle in his neck,

“She did what now?”

The Phantom of the Opera  {Sentence Starters}

  • “It frightens me.”
  • “Don’t be frightened.”
  • “Let me be your freedom.”
  • “I’m here, nothing can harm you.”
  • “Love me… that’s all I ask of you.”
  • “You’re safe, no one will find you.”
  • “My power over you grows stronger, yet.”
  • “You try my patience. Make your choice!”
  • “I had rather hoped that you would come.“
  • “The world showed no compassion to me!“
  • “Did you think that I had left you for good?“
  • “Where in the world have you been hiding?”
  • “Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation.”
  • “Say you need me with you now and always.”
  • “Sing once again with me… Our strange duet.”
  • “Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before.”
  • “Hide your face so the world will never find you.”
  • “Those who have seen your face draw back in fear.”
  • “Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams.”
  • “No more talk of darkness. Forget these wide-eyed fears.”
  • “Think of me, think of me fondly, when we’ve said goodbye.”
  • “I’m here with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.”
  • “And now, how you’ve repaid me… denied me and betrayed me.”
  • “Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.”
Past Life Spell

This spell helps you see your past life or the past. Its stronger in latin.

You will need the following items for this spell:

  • Blue or white candle

Light the candle and chant:

Time in space, universes collide. Make me see who I was before my present day life. Element (your element) rise before me and let me see, the person that I used to be. Show me here, show me now. Take me back to my past life. So Mote it be!

(If you speak latin)
Vicis in tractus, universum offensus planto mihi animadverto quisnam ego eram pro meus tendo dies vita. Elementum Terra (earth) orior oriri ortus pro mihi quod permissium mihi animadverto, alio ut ego adsuesco assuesco exsisto. ostendo mihi hic, ostendo mihi iam. Take mihi tergum ut meus preteritus vita.

You will not immediately flash back, but you will gain knowledge and get hints about certain things. 

Note: There will be side affects. For example, headaches.

Please read

Hello everyone Bugplayer’s here.

I said a couple weeks ago that I would make a little head up/journal entry to explain a few things. About what’s art and stuff, and most importantly you guys.

I just wanna be real for a moment and tell how I honestly feel about everything right now, cause that’s the least I can do.

In the past few months, my inspiration/motivation do draw anything has been terrible.

It’s not really a question about if I’m still interested in the show or not. (I still enjoy the hell out of them ponies!)

But it has to come to my personal life, pression and stress that is sucking a lot of my energy and ressources, to the point where I almost decided to quit completely the art side of my life.

Now now, I won’t actually do it haha. I really want to start making more content for your guys, I really do. I just need to get my life back on track again.

I registered in a design and building plan DEC that I’m really hyped about, which is something I didn’t feel in a long time when it comes to school ans study.

I believe this is actually a domain I’ll enjoy for once.

Most importantly, I’ve been living on my savings for a long time since the lost of my previous job. I’ve been looking back and forth for any kind of small job, without success.

Since then, my motivation has been going down the drain. My bank account is in the red, I have bills to pay, and really it’s not a good feeling at all. That’s a lot of pressure that I’m not used to having, and I don’t really react well to it.

Which is why as a last ressort, I come out to you guys.

I never planned to make a post like this or ask anything in the past years and I feel terrible for doing so, but if any of you feels like supporting me with a couple of bucks, this would totally means the worlds to me. I know some people aren’t fund of money asking, and I understand. But it’s kinda my last option.

If you desire, here’s my Paypal adress. Feel free to inculde your Da name so I can thank you personally.


If you do not desire to spend, but you still want to support me. A simple reblog of this tumblr post here will do, which even allows you a chance to win a print.


Also, I understand that a couple of peeps sent me some messages on DA and Tumblr, and I’ll get back to you guys once the weekend is over.

It was really irresponsible of my part to not responds. So hang in here.

With sincere regards, I’ll do my best to get back in art as soon as I can.

Thank you

Things I Learned From Shadowhunters o2.o7:

o1. i’m getting significant voldemort vibes from valentine.
o3. Simon is the cutest thing in the world and he needs to be protected at all costs. (Preferably by Raphael?)
o5. Alec being too embarrassed to look at Jace is such quality content. Bless you, Shadowhunters.
o7. I am so turned on by Magnus holy shit.
09. Luke just looking at his sister as she bleeds out on the floor made me laugh so hard. Am I a bad person?
1o. 23 minutes in and still no Raphael. Why am I watching this show again?
12. I question Clary’s life choices frequently.
13. I take it back, that was smart, Clary.
15. Simon’s mind is so blown oh my God, I need more scenes with Simon and Jace.
16. Alec: I don’t overthink things. Also Alec: Overthinks overthinking.
17. okay but the way alec is cluching magnus’ shirt right now excuse me i’m dying
18. that pout though.

This is not a success story

As I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, somewhere downtown Detroit, with a coffee to my right, a salad on its way to me, and a sweaty CrossFit session behind me this morning, let me share my candid thoughts with you.

Weight loss is hard. I actually forgot that little fact a few weeks back when I called my sister to declare I had re-signed up for My Firtness Pal; it had been two days and I saw my weight drop, and I remember thinking this will be easy.

It is not. 

I had been in Detroit for just over a month, and with the exception of mentally thinking about trying to lose weight, I had put no actual conscious effort into doing so. It was the usual: just wishing and hoping and obsessing, but not actually changing any of my habits.  Sure, I had signed up for CrossFit, but to say I was “half-assing” it would have been over stating it.

The mental toll of watching my weight increase was exhausting.  I had told myself when I arrived in this new city I’d have a fresh start to my weight loss voyage, but a month had passed and that wasn’t the case.  Then at some ungodly hour one morning, I wrote a very honest letter to myself; there’s something about writing that sets things in stone for me.  I can tell myself something 302 times, but if I don’t commit those thoughts to written words, I’m almost guaranteed to forget them the next morning.  I won’t go into the details of the letter, but I woke up the next morning ready to officially commit to something I so desperately wanted.

That was just over a month ago, and I have been amazed at how that letter somehow switched a light on from within. 


Since then I have been to CrossFit four or times each week. It’s been humbling getting back into it.  A 35lb bar is all I can handle right now. I’m the slowest by far in all the workouts, and the majority of the movements I have to modify.  

I am fortunate that a lot of the movements and my techniques from doing CrossFit in Melbourne were like riding a bike. And my new Coach here is exceptional.  This CrossFit focusses on quality over quantity (often the area where CrossFit gets a lot of criticism) and I am definitely thankful for that (I never really found a CrossFit I liked in Toronto because I thought all the coaches didn’t focus on technique).

If you follow along on my Snapchat you’ll already know this, but I’ve even been getting my ass up for the 6am or 7am CrossFit sessions. Last week I made it to FIVE early morning sessions and got a glimpse into life as if I was a morning person.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it got sooooo much easier each day, and I had significantly better days when I did exercise in the morning. 

I live in perpetual muscle pain these days, but it’s a good happy pain; one I missed. 


As we all know, you can’t out exercise a bad diet, and thus on that fateful letter-writing night, I decided to focus on calorie counting. Calories in, must be less than calories out.  I set my goal to “1 pound a week loss” which landed me at 1,800 calories a day.  Also making this the most generous number of calories I’ve ever aimed to hit.  (In my younger stupider days I’d always aim for 1200/1300 a day).  

I bought a little kitchen scale and hit the ground running. I measured and tracked everything. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  From the oil on my roasted veggies in the evenings, to milk in my coffee, everything was added to the My Fitness Pal app. I quickly got into the routine of it too, I became more conscious of labels in stores, and more aware of how quickly calories can add up.

One thing I didn’t expect from calorie counting, but am absolutely over the moon about, is how it released me from mentally beating myself up throughout the day.  I learned from counting calories that I wasn’t eating that badly before, but mentally I thought I was.  

If I ate a Turkey Tom Jimmy John’s sandwich (for Canadian friends, it’s like Subway but more delicious) for lunch (because it was free at the Lunch n’ Learn at work, let’s say) I would be so angry at myself the rest of the day, and think I completely (pardon my french) fucked up my diet that day, which in turn would lead to negative thoughts and not caring about dinner that evening, or worse, trying to hardly eat anything for dinner. 

From counting calories I saw that having that Jimmy John’s sandwich for 520 calories was a lot, true, however also completely manageable and normal and I could still easily end my day without going over my allowed calorie intake.  A huge amount of mental stress has been lifted from counting calories, and I saw very blatantly how negative I had been previously to myself for no reason at all.

I counted the tomatoes and broccoli and cauliflower and onions and asparagus too, and quickly saw how my current weight is where it’s at in large part because of healthy food. Portions! Portions! Portions! And my portions of healthy food were huge. With the oil on my roasted veggies (carrots / sprouts / asparagus / onions / etc) and half a sweet potato sprinkled with some feta cheese and a breast of chicken on the side, my dinner could and would get to around 600 calories. Yikes. And this makes sense. As I don’t eat McDonalds or candy or go through tubs of ice-cream. I am over weight because of portions. HEALTHY portions. 


This post is not a post about my success.  

Over the past four weeks my weight has been up and down and up and down and overall  I have stayed the same. It’s incredibly frustrating. I am trying really hard. I also have a smart scale which shows no Fat % loss, which busts the muscle weighs more than fat theory. 

My jeans, however, are fitting looser, but I also feel like they need a wash…  I tried on a dress yesterday which didn’t fit before Christmas, and said dress? Still does not fit.  I believe I only went over my calorie intake once, and yet here I sit, seeing no results. 

So Why

I made a Snapchat story a few days back on how frustrated I am, and a few of you kind people wrote back: 

Don’t count calories, look at macros
You’re now in your 30s. This is life. 
Eat the majority of calories in the morning
Eat more. Are you adding calories for CrossFit?
Do the Whole 30; it works
You have to wait longer. At least six weeks
8 hours of sleep, more water. 

Looking at the above list there is certainly room for improvement. I don’t pay attention to macros, I do eat the majority of my calories in the evening (although I really think a calorie is a calorie to your body, no matter when you eat it), I do not add my CrossFit calories to MFP (It would be about 600 extra calories a day! Which I think is nutty), and I could definitely drink more water.   I also side-eye Whole 30, as I don’t want a “diet,” but more of a lifestyle change; truthfully, I’m also nervous of binging on a “diet.”

I am working at being better at all of the above. Except, of course, I can’t reduce my age.  I remember people telling me it would get harder, but like with everything else (skin and cancer and terrible things) it won’t happen to me. I think it has.  


But I am not going to give up, because regardless of the number between my toes each morning, working out and eating better has helped my mental state a lot.  I am more confident, putting effort into dressing better each morning, and not beating myself up any more. 

So yes. There that all is. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed there’ll be some scale or fat percentage loss movement. Stay tuned! 



❝ Any day I think I’m gonna break now. ❞
❝ I’m hearing voices in my head. ❞
❝ It’s never making any sense. ❞
❝ I’ve got a burning in my heart. ❞
❝ It’s tearing me apart. ❞
❝ Somebody call the doctor!
❝ Hey, I think I’m losing my mind now. ❞
❝ Having trouble finding a way out. ❞
❝ Shine so bright, this star’s gonna burn out. ❞
❝ I take and don’t know how to give. ❞
❝ You know I never mean well. ❞
❝ I can’t help but to help myself. ❞
❝ The mirror showed somebody else. ❞
❝ There’s dents in every cause. ❞
❝ They don’t take ya very far. ❞
❝ We’re in a special kind of hell. ❞
❝ It’s like a monster in the night. ❞
❝ It’s giving me a fright. ❞
❝ Oh when did I begin?


❝ I’m down but you know I’m not out. ❞
❝ I’m coming back again. ❞
❝ Can’t break me, I’m not givin’ up. ❞
❝ I gotta prove them wrong. ❞
❝ Take your time ‘cause I’m not taking mine. ❞
❝ Voice in my head said to keep on going. ❞
❝ Don’t let ‘em see you bleed, don’t want your weakness showing. ❞
❝ Tell me it’ll all be fine. ❞
❝ That’s a lie, if I don’t reach out then how could it be mine? ❞ 
❝ My whole world was crumbling down. ❞
❝ What doesn’t kill you’s bound to come back for another. ❞
❝ I’ve found a way to tame my own monster inside. ❞
❝ Yeah we’ll survive the night. ❞


❝ Pull out the stops. ❞
❝ I got a way that we can get it. ❞
❝ Just say the word, I’ll kick it up to eleven. ❞ 
❝ We’re knocking on your door. ❞
❝ Don’t break it up, break it down. ❞
❝ We’ll kill the night. ❞
❝ And we’ll never see the sun. ❞
❝ I’ll call the shots. ❞
❝ Don’t you tell me when I’m done. ❞
❝ Live it up, this life is amazing!
❝ Don’t need to show no mercy, cause heroes never die. ❞
❝ Now listen up, I’m gonna give you a rundown. ❞
❝ Got you in my sights. ❞
❝ You know I’ve got this on lockdown. ❞
❝ This life was meant for me. ❞
❝ Step to the plate. ❞
❝ You gotta show me what you got. ❞


❝ What can I make and what can I sell?
❝ Am I a fraud or a genuine scam?
❝ Am I a monster or worse, just a man?
❝ But in the end we’re all the same. ❞
❝ To the grave we only take our names. ❞ 
❝ There’s an ocean made of dreams. ❞
❝ But the current strands you out at sea. ❞
❝ I wake up to find the passing of time. ❞
❝ Made my mirror show someone I don’t know. ❞
❝ But all kingdoms drown. ❞
❝ Tides bring them down. ❞ 
❝ My army has fallen. ❞
❝ The subjects stay loyal but don’t wait their turn. ❞
❝ Now blindly they follow their king to the fray. ❞
❝ But s/he has no action. ❞
❝ And they have no say. ❞
❝ But in the end we’re bound to change. ❞
❝ We’re made for more than all of these numbers and names. ❞
❝ We could all go down in flames. ❞
❝ Relinquish these words from my mouth. ❞
❝ The sirens, they sing laments just for me. ❞
❝ I fall to my knees and beg for release. ❞
❝ When my kingdom comes my will be undone. ❞
❝ My world then decides where to hang my hide. ❞
❝ Maybe one day you’ll find humanity. ❞
❝ Until then don’t you dare say that we are the same. ❞

The signature. Joker x reader.

A/N: This is my first ever Joker x reader. I hope you all enjoy and request more if you would like. 

Originally posted by ksenoglosja

Originally posted by astromech-punk

Gotham at night is not the safest place to be. Especially when you’re in 6 inch black heels and are heading to go see your sort-a kind-a soon to be ex-husband.

I met Joker when he was first making his debut in Gotham’s underworld. He opened a club, I was a newly twenty-one year old in desperate need of a job. When I walked into the job hiring fair at his new club and looked into his eyes, I knew I was hooked. A job turned into a romance and we were soon the most feared couple in Gotham’s underworld. When mobsters wanted to scare eachother, they told stories of The Joker and his Ace.

One year became two, two became five and time flew by with him, but all great things must come to an end.

I thought he would be happy. I thought nothing could separate us. But I was wrong. Any other couple would be ecstatic, A baby is supposed to be a good thing. But in his eyes it wasn’t.

In fear I ran, kept Adam, and raised him on the other side of Gotham. J tore the city apart, but he knew better than anyone that if I didn’t want to be found, I wouldn’t be. I changed my name, dyed my hair and ran with different crowds. Life was different than before, but wasn’t that the point?

I haven’t been to the narrows in five years, right before Adam was born. Its how I remembered though, dirty and run down. They only semi-nice thing is J’s club. The neon pink sign that read Wanderlust was the only thing illuminating the road. Every year, around the time I left, J gets the urge to look for me again, so I came for two reasons. To inform him that i am indeed alive and to get him to sign a few papers.

Like idiots, a year after we got together we decided to get married. Him under Joe Kerr and me as Delilah Stewart. Aren’t we smart?? I only remembered the drunken ceremony when Harvey and I filed and found out I already was.

Harvey was my newest fling that turned into something more. Of course I stayed in the criminal underworld, but under a different name, but with the same old pseudonyms.

I walk into Wanderlust with a white lace dress and black heels. A black leather jacket covering the top of my semi-see through dress. I immediately spot the green haired man sitting in his private booth, sipping his whiskey and coke….. Some things never change.

Walking to the entrance of the VIP section I see Frost standing guard. “Hey Frosty.” I smile. A shocked expressing washed over the man’s face and i chuckle. “I thought you woulda missed me. I guess not.” I walk past a frozen frost and back to J.

I’m greeted in the golden booth by J and a female I haven’t seen before. Blonde, tall, slender….. J drops his glass and stares from his seat.

“We need to talk… now.”

“You’re alive..”

“And we need to talk.” I cross my arms and glance at the girl sitting next to him.

“Who’s that puddin’?” The girl asks. She has a high pitched Brooklyn accent and looks lost.

“Leave Harley” He commands, not taking his eyes off of me, like if he does, I’ll disappear. I Don’t blame him. I tend to do that.

“But Puddin’-.”

“NOW.” He yells and ‘Harley’ is on her feet and out the door in seconds.

The air grows even more tense, if that’s even possible.

“So how’s business?” I ask snarkily, sitting down across from him.

“Don’t even.” He says. His surprise turns to anger and he leans back into his chair. “Where have you been? I’ve looked everywhere for you, killed hundreds because they had the same name, or mentioned you! And you show up like it’s funny?” At the point he’s on his feet and standing in front of me.

“Look Joker, I didn’t come here for you. I came for myself. I moved on and am living my life but i came for two reasons.” I stand up and am eye to eye, despite our height difference, with him. “Now stop looking for me and sign the damn paper.” I grab the paper out of my pocket and shove it to his chest. He takes a few steps back and reads it.

“Divorce papers?”

“Yeah, remember? I need you to sign them so I can get remarried.” I Huff and cross my arms.

“To who?” he yells.

“It doesn’t matter. Just sign it.”

“Who Y/N!”

“Harvey Dent! My fiance!” I yell, unable to hold it back.

“You’re Marrying that scared up Bastard?!”

“Yes! He’s nice to me and Adam loves him. He cares for both of us! Unlike some people.”

Joker sits down with a surprised expression on his face, mumbling the name “Adam”.

“Yes J. Adam. He’s my son. The one you didn’t want. Now sign the paper.”

J rises his hanging head. “Let me meet him. He’s my son.”

“No J. That’s not a good idea.” I speak softly. “He doesn’t know you.”

A moment passes and no one speaks. The only sound is the music from the club behind us.

“…..no.. I can’t.” he mumbles.

“Why not!?” I yell, infuriated by his resistance.

“That’s my son and you’re my wife. That won’t change.” He relaxes and leans back on the booth seat.

“What about that Harley chick? What about her! You can marry her!” I try to convince him.

“Doll, I’d kill Harley a million times over for you.” He stands and grabs my chin, looking deep into my eyes. I start to feel what I did before. That drawn in, never wanting to leave, euphoric feeling.  

I tear myself away and shake my head. “So no signature?” i ask.


“Fine. see you around J.” and like a flash i’m gone.

nanika69  asked:



So Gabe loves telling the story of how he came back to life. He tells it over and over. Sam indulges him, hell, he even finds it amusing, but he also secretly eye rolls every time Gabriel starts. Just a tiny eye roll though. Not even noticeable.

And the Archangel makes such a show of telling the story. Hands gesticulating as he paces the room, never sitting still when he tells it. 

“Yep, it was miraculous, fantastic, a thing to rival the Big Bang. I was gone, dead, finito, and then BOOM. There I was, standing outside your bedroom door.”

And Sam can’t help but laugh, raising his eyebrows, just sitting there waiting for Gabriel to get done telling the story again. He sets his beer aside, wondering what little detail Gabriel will embellish this time.

“It was almost like some kind of divine intervention, wasn’t it, Sam? Course, what we did that night really was divine.”

And by this time Dean is gagging from his chair in the corner. “No. Huh uh. Nope. Stop right there.”

“Shut it, Deano. You’re ruining our romantic reunion story.”

Sam laughs softly, almost letting his eye roll show at the two of them bickering. “Guys, knock it off.”

“Now, where was I? Ah yes…”

“So I try to make it to Samshine’s bed, but on the way I stumble. Of course I grab the biggest thing in the room to catch myself with, which is obviously Sam’s coc–”

“Dammit, Gabriel!” Dean yells, cutting the angel off. “Shut the hell up, nobody is even buying this story.”

That gets a little smirk out of Sam, a knowing glance between him and Gabe. Of all the times for Dean not to believe the story, it’s the one time the archangel was telling the truth. 

Ready - Doctor Strange x Reader [SMUT]

 Ready - Doctor Strange x Reader [SMUT]

Pairing: Doctor Strange x Reader 

Characters: Doctor Strange, Reader

Request: “Hi! Your smutty Doctor Strange fic was amazing! I just saw the movie last night and wanted to ask if you could make a fic where Stephen never told the reader where he was going and then when he comes back it gets angsty but then fluff at the end? Sorry for it being so long!” @mayaurbinaa

Word Count: 2065

Warnings: LOTS AND LOTS OF ANGST. OH MY GOODNESS SO MUCH ANGST. OH, AND SOME SMUT AND FLUFFINESS AT THE END. Unprotected sex - wrap it before you tap it people! Sex against a window pane people, may not be safe. 

Originally posted by lichtblickpink

Keep reading

Undeniable Heat Chapter 15: Complications

Jensen Ackles x Reader

1500 Words

Chapter Summary: Facing an issue from your past might mess up your relationship with Jensen.

Story Summary: You’ve just gotten a job as one of the makeup artists on the set of Supernatural. Nervous on the first day, you become completely awkward, winning the affection of the divorced Jensen Ackles. You try to fight your desire for him, but he thwarts you at every turn. Will you be able you separate work and play, or will you let Jensen win?

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

Author’s Note: There is mentions of abuse in this chapter, and more angst is coming in the next chapter!

“Brad?” You whispered, ready to head back into your trailer and lock the door. Maybe if you did, and closed your eyes he would be gone. It would be one big bad dream. Closing your eyes for a second, you opened them, frustrated and scared to see Brad still on the step. He was looking up at you, a bouquet of flowers in his hands. He hadn’t changed much in the year since you had last seen him. His dark brown, almost black hair, was cut extremely short, his face still a creamy tan with chiseled jaw bones. His dark brown eyes stared up at you, studying you closely. His wide shoulders were encased in a gray long sleeved henley, and he looked exactly the same. And it scared you. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you.” He said, his voice still the same, sandpaper gruff voice you remembered. The voice that still occasionally haunted your dreams. “It’s been too long.”

“Not long enough.” You answered, shrinking back from his outstretched hand. He noticed, his brown eyes darkening enough that they almost looked black.

“Y/N, is that anyway to treat your fiancee?” He asked you, his hand clenching into a fist.

Keep reading

#SHE STRAIGHT UP JUST ASSUMES SIAN IS HITTING ON HER LIKE THAT IS NOT A NORMAL RESPONSE TO ‘hey friend what are you doing tonight?'  #Serena has always been queercoded the writers just didnt realise and then they decided to give her a gf so they had to make it seem like  #Serena has been Straight™ the ENTIRE TIME so there can be TENSION bc her and Bernie after the kiss rather than just OH DANG YEAH LETS GO  #bc lets face it the Serena we originally met who practically gushed at Jac’s cheek bones the Serena who affectioned Collette the Serena who  #quite happily flirted right back at Fleur and frankly loved the attention would have fucking jumped on Bernie if she’d kissed before  #Robbie and Angus i think his name was and espically after the utter shambles that was the reunion w Edward  #bullshit she hasn’t thought about women her whole life  #Serena Campbell: bisexual extraordinaire  #Serena *i will topple over any sweet lookin piece and own their arse w my own amazing existence* Campbell  #Serena *I’ll climb any mountain if they’re hot enough to match my own beauty* Campbell  #Serena *i am shit hot and my hotness will not be contained to one gender this hotness needs to be shared w all the genders *Campbell  #lmao always aware but not out Serena talking to *spent her whole life closeted until Alex* Bernie  #realising that Serena has slept w more women than Bernie  #Bernie being like dude show me A L L  O F  Y O U R  T R I C K S as they rail each other five ways until Sunday  #FUCK MAN this is an au i need in my life now @matildaswan

So, this happened….

Bernie collapsed back on the mattress, panting.  Her aching lungs finally began to draw cool sweet air as she blinked furiously up at the ceiling in an attempt to get her eyes to clear.  A fine sheen of sweat covered her body, glistening in the dim light of the room, aftershocks sporadically twitching through her muscles. She forced herself to unclench her fists, feeling the burn of the half moon marks scored into her palms by her own fingernails, the beginnings of a charley horse flickering in her right calf.  

She swallowed a few times, mouth parched, breathing still ragged and harsh. “I…thought…you said…you’d…never been…with…a woman…before.”  She managed to turn her head an inch to the right.

Serena lay on her side, chin propped on a fist, a quizzical frown marring her brow.  "I never said that.“

Bernie tried to summon an expression of outrage, only managing a vaguely befuddled twitch of the eyebrow.  "You certainly did!”

“I certainly did not, Bernie,” Serena said, one brow raised primly.  “I said that I had never been more than friends with a woman.  That is quite true.”

Bernie eyed her incredulously.  "Then where’d you learn to do,“ she gestured vaguely down her naked, exhausted body, ”that.“

"I went to an all-girls school,” Serena said matter-of-factly.  As if that explained everything.

Bernie chuckled, trailing off into a whimper as her muscles spasmed.  “What, did they teach a course on lesbian sex?”

Serena rolled her eyes.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  But you can’t have that many hormonal adolescent girls in one place without some experimentation taking place.”

Images of a young Serena, wearing a perfectly pressed school uniform, kissing another uniformed girl flashed through Bernie’s mind.  Picturing that wicked look Serena got in her eye as her hand slid up over knee socks, a bare thigh, higher under the pleated plaid skirt…  Bernie squirmed at the unexpected throb between her thighs.

“Serena Campbell, you are full of surprises.”  Serena grinned widely, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against Bernie’s mouth.  

“You don’t know the half of it!”  One of her hands moved to Bernie’s side, trailing down to rest on the curve of her hip.  She pressed closer, nuzzling along Bernie’s neck, breath hot in her ear.

“Now, if you liked that, you’ll love what Sian taught me…”

Work today:
  • Me: there will be no Drama Club this week. I think every one needs a break-
  • Students: but we want to do drama club!
  • Me: let me rephrase that. There will be no Drama Club this week as I need a break!
  • Students: *disappointed mutters*
  • Boy at the back: Hey! Don't you realise Miss has to go home to play the new Mass Effect game? Show some empathy!
  • Students: *laugh as though it's a joke*
  • Me: *laughs along while sweating nervously and covering up the N7 logo on my shirt*
  • Me: ... yeah, actually he's right. Go home. Now.
Stupid in Love

Summary: Sometimes Dean can get controlling, and that just doesn’t go over well. Luckily, he’s willing to make it up to you.
Warnings: Fighting
A.N. - Hey guys! Been awhile I know, this is for @luci-in-trenchcoats. I’m so sorry this took so long to post. This is number 23. I do my best to make things right, whatever that may be. Hope you all enjoy!
———————————————You had no right!“ I screamed at the man in front of me, his eyes rolling.
"It was too dangerous! I didn’t want you to get hurt!”
“This is our job Dean! We hunt! It’s dangerous! That doesn’t give you the right to lock me in the bunker for three days.” Now I promise you, I’m not being overemotional. Four days ago, Sam had found a demon hunt in Colorado. After I’d gone to pack, Dean followed to express his displeasure at my hunting. That eventually escalated into a screaming match that ended with him storming out, and when I attempted to follow, only managed to hit a barrier at the rooms exit. I saw Cas standing there, extremely uncomfortable and Dean with a too smug smirk on those plump lips. He’d used Cas to keep me trapped in our room, and three hours later, simply confined to the bunker itself. When he returned, he found I’d moved out of our shared room, and now here we are, standing in my old bedroom screaming at each other once again.
“I was trying to keep you safe!”
“That’s not your decision to make!” I rolled my eyes at his attempts.
“Yes it is!” He roared “You’re mine! I’m not going to let you make decisions that get you hurt!” My eyes widened in shock at that, and I scoffed before glaring at him.
“I’m not ‘yours.’ We’re in a relationship. I don’t belong to you, and you don’t 'let’ me do anything. Now get out.” He seemed surprised at that, staring at me with wide eyes.
“Babe come on you know what I -”
“I don’t care” I interrupted. “Get out” He sighed, rubbing over his scalp as he walked to the door, closing it gently behind him. I sat down on the bed, the cold sheets being no comfort. My hands were still shaking with anger, my heart still pounding. For awhile I simply focused on calming down, then grabbed a book from my shelf to attempt to get my mind off of things. Dean and I had been fighting a lot, and it was by far my least favorite thing to do. For hours I lost myself in my book, but soon, I heard music wafting down the corridor, soft jazz reaching my ears. I sighed, standing to go tell Sam to turn it down, but saw a trail of rose petals outside the door instead. I frowned, walking down the corridor towards the library, gasping at what I found there. Dean had set up a library table with candles and roses, the lighting dim and some jazz music wafting from the record player. I laughed a little at the pizza boxes from my favorite pizza parlor on the table, a box of brownies from my favorite bakery sitting next to it.
“What’s all this?” I asked, seeing Dean smile sheepishly at me as he walked closer.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry. What I said was wrong. I don’t control you, and you don’t belong to me, but I love you. And I always want to protect you.” I sighed, reaching up to cup his cheek, laying a soft kiss to his lips.
“You can’t keep doing that. This is my job, my life, as well as yours.” He nodded, moving to hug me to his body, pressing his lips to my head.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I smiled into the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss to his skin, feeling him shudder underneath me. I looked past him and too the romantic setting behind him.
“I know. You know, you didn’t need to do all this.” He shrugged, moving back to smile and take my hands in his.
“I do my best to make things right, whatever that may be. I wanted to show you I was sorry. That I cared, that I was serious about making it up to you.”
“Dean. As long as you stop being so damn stubborn and realize this is my life too, we’re alright. Now let’s enjoy that pizza, it smells fantastic” He nodded at me, gently pulling me to a chair and pushing it in once I sat down. Sometimes he could be stubborn, and we fought like any other couple, but I loved him nonetheless.

Happy Ending? Maybe

A/N: This is for the Anon who asked  So reader is Shadowhunter and Jace’s girlfriend and she’s jealous over Clary? Like maybe he forgets about reader’s birthday and he spends all day with Clary, but with happy ending? Thank you for your wonderful fics.  Sorry that it took me so long to get this out to you.

I want to thank @jessiedangerous for looking this over for me, I couldn’t do this with out you. I am also at the moment looking for a new member to add to to this blog. So if you want to get into writing for any fandom let me know!

Summery: It is the day of the Readers birthday when she find Jace kissing Clary. Now the only question is will they have a happy ending.

Warnings: None.

Pairings: Reader/Jace

Originally posted by kendrasaunders


Waking up in the morning to an empty bed was not how I wanted to start this day out. I wanted to wake up with Jace by my side, a good morning kiss, and a happy birthday. But I’m not surprised to wake up alone. Everything is different now that Clary has showed up.

When she first showed up I felt bad for her. All her life, her mother had lied to her about who she was. Clary had been thrown head first into this world and had her mother taken from her. Like Jace, I wanted to help her, but as the days went on, I started to resent the girl. She didn’t seem to care that we all had rules that needed to be follow, nor did she seem to care that she could end up getting us killed.

Rolling over onto my back, I stare up to the ceiling and let out a loud breath before climbing out of bed and making my way the the bathroom to get ready. I wash my face and brush my teeth before putting on the little makeup that I wore. I knew that I wasn’t a beautiful as Izzy, and I always felt that Jace could do better than me; no matter how many times he told me he loved me. I pulled my Y/H/C hair up into a ponytail, letting the shorter parts of my hair frame my face.

Walking back into the bedroom, I move the the wardrobe and pull out a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a faded black tank top along with some combat boots before making my way to the kitchen. I was hoping that Izzy didn’t make me anything to eat again. How Alec and Jace can  manage to eat her food is beyond me.

Walking into the the kitchen, I find Alec and Izzy in the middle of their breakfasts. When they look up and see me, they both jump up and give me a hug.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” Izzy says to me before letting me go.

“Yeah, happy birthday, Y/N. Izzy was going to make you some breakfast, but I stopped her.” Alec whispers, but Izzy hears him and turns around to slap his arm. I thankfully grab a box of cereal.

“You know, Y/N, that cereal isn’t good for you. It has a lot of sugar in it.”

“Your point, Alec?” I say to him with a glare, not needing to say anything else.

“Have you seen Jace? He wasn’t in the room when I woke up.”

“Did you check the training room?” Alec suggests.

“No, I came right here. I was hungry. I’ll look there when I finish.”  I fall silent as I listen to Izzy talk about this dress that she saw the other day.

“I’ll go with you to get it, Izzy.” I turn and put my bowl into the sink.

“Really!” Izzy says as she looks over to me.

“Sure, I don’t have anything to do today other than train. We just have to be back by ten. I have a mission to go on with Jace. And I was hoping that you could help me find a new dress. My last one got ruined on my last mission.”

“Sure! Let me go grab my purse, then we can go.”

“Can you grab mine? It’s the one on the desk chair.”

“Yeah, I’ll meet you in the control room.” She walks out of the kitchen.

“Hey, Y/N. I got you something for your birthday.” Alec says as he walks closer to me to hand me an envelope with my name written across it.

“Alec, you didn’t have to!” I smile as I look up to him. I open up the envelope and pull out the card. What the card says brings tears to my eyes.

Sisters are forever, and I’m glad you’re mine. I wish that your birthday brings you lots of amazing moments!

“Thank you Alec!” I say as I jump up and hug him. “You’re the best brother a girl could ask for.” Alec’s cheeks have turned a lovely shade of pink by the time I pull away from the hug.

“This is for you to get a new dress too.” Alec says as he pulls out two hundred dollars and hands me the bills.

“Alec, it’s too much. I can’t take that.” The Clave paid us well for working at the institute, but it was still a lot of money.

“Yes, you can. It’s not everyday you turn twenty-one.” Alec says as he take the envelope out of my hand and puts the money in it.

“Thank you.” I whisper as I take it back. “I’ll see you later. We can all have dinner together?” I mean for it to be a statement, but it comes out more as a question.

“Sure, we can get you favorite tonight.”

“Sounds great! I’m going to go find Jace before I leave.” I kiss Alec on the cheek before leaving the kitchen. I quickly walk to the training room. Walking around the corner and into the training room, I can feel my heart break the second I lay eyes on Jace. He isn’t training like I was expecting him to be, but instead, kissing Clary.

I leave as quietly as I can, not wanting to be seen or heard. I walk to the control room where I find Izzy waiting for me. I force a smile onto my face as I walk up to her.

“What took you so long?” Izzy asks as she hands me my purse before looping her arm with mine.

“Oh, Alec gave me a birthday card.” I move to put it into my purse only to have her grab it out of my hand. She pulls the card out, seeing the money and the message.

“He’s right, you know. You are an amazing sister.”

I smile for a moment.

“Did you find Jace?”

The smile fades. Deciding that I didn’t want to lie to her, I tell her a portion of the truth.  “Yeah, he was in the training room.” I just leave out the part that creates a pit in my stomach.

We decide to walk to the shop that Izzy saw the dress in, and leave the glamour’s off. I can feel everyone we pass staring at us. Well, staring at Izzy. Izzy does most of the talking as we walk, not that I mind at the moment, but I don’t hear anything that she says. As we arrive at the little shop and make our way in, I look around. Izzy points to one side of the shop, letting me know that she will be over there. I nod my head before walking to the other side of the shop. I don’t find anything that I like when Izzy walks over with her arms full of dresses she want to try on.

“I need you to tell me how I look in these.” Izzy grabs my wrist and pulls me to the back to the changing rooms. I take a seat and wait for her to come back out.

“You know, Izzy, you don’t need me to tell you how you look. You look fantastic in everything.”

“I know.” Izzy says as she let out a laugh. Dress after dress, she walks out to show me; always more beautiful than I could ever hope to be. As she finishes, she decides to get two of the dresses she tried on; a midnight blue one and a dark purple one, almost black in some lights.

“Did you find one yet, Y/N?”

“No, I can’t find one that I like. Want to help me look?”

“Sure! I saw a dress when I was looking that I thought that you would just love!” Izzy pulls me over to the dress. She pulls the dress off the rack and I can’t help but gasp when I see it. It’s Y/F/C and flows almost like it’s liquid.

“Like it?”

“Like it, Izzy? It’s so beautiful.”

“Well, let’s go try it on, Y/N.” We walk back to the changing room and once I’m into the dress, I step out to show it to Izzy.

She gasps loudly.

“That bad, Izzy?” I look at myself.

“Bad? You look amazing, Y/N! Jace is going to love that dress.”

Shopping had momentarily pushed what I saw from the front of my mind. Izzy’s comment brings it all back.


“I’m fine.” I manage to get out, hoping to sound convincing.

“No, you’re not. One, you’re my best friend, so I know when you are lying and two, you’re crying.”

“It’s nothing.” I turn quickly and walk back into the changing room. I change as fast as I can. I know that this conversation is not over, but I hope to delay it just for a couple more minutes. Walking back out of the changing room, still looking at my feet, Izzy waits for me.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Her voice is laced with concern.

“I saw Jace kissing Clary.” I mumble, not sure if she can hear me.


“I said I saw Jace and Clary kissing.” I say again, this time a little louder.

“I-I can’t believe…”

“It’s okay Izzy…”

“No, it’s not! He hurt you! I’m going to make him suffer.” I can hear the real anger in her voice, but alongside it, I can hear great hurt as well.

“Izzy don’t. He’s your brother.” I don’t want to come between them.

“And you’re my best friend!”

“Izzy… Just, can I stay in your room? And please, for the love of the Angel, don’t do anything.” I plead with her.

“Of course, you can stay with me!”

“Thanks, Izzy.”

“ Let’s get these dresses and head home.” We both walk over to the counter, Izzy buys her dresses first. I pay for my dress with some of the money that Alec gave me. With our bags in hand, we leave the store.

“You want to do anything else, Y/N?”

“Honestly, not really. All I want to do is sleep, not much of a birthday today.” I mumble the last part as we start making our way back to the Institute. The walk back is silent and for that I’m thankful. I’m really not in the mood to be talking.

Once back at the Institute, we manage to get back to Izzy’s room without running into Alec, Jace, or Clary. I fall onto the bed to check the time and find that it’s only after one.

“He didn’t even remember.” I say to know one in particular.

“Didn’t remember what?” I hear Izzy say from the other side of the room as she changes into something to go train in.

“My birthday. Jace still hasn’t wished me happy birthday.” I mumble knowing that she can hear me.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s fine Izzy. It’s not like you made them kiss,” I kick my shoes off before pulling my jeans off and climbing into Izzy’s bed.

“I can stay here with you, Y/N, if you want.”

“No, I’ll be fine. Go and train with Alec. I can always text you if I need you.” I say to her in what I hope is a convincing way.

“You sure…”

“Yes, Izzy. I’m just going to take a nap.”

“Okay.” She says heading to the door. She turns the lights off before leaving me alone. Finally alone, I start to cry; body shaking sobs, rip their way past my lips. My eyes sting as tears make their way down my cheeks soaking the pillow that I am holding to my chest. Curled into the fetal position, I cry for what feels like hours before my tears dry up and I have nothing left to cry out. I fall into a restless sleep, having cried myself out.

I must have slept longer than I planned because when I wake up, it’s dark out. I can hear whispered voices in the room. My head is pounding, making even the whispered voice seem like yelling.

“Alec, she just doesn’t feel well.”

“She was fine this morning, so stop lying to me. I can tell she’s been crying. I’m not stupid.” Alec whisper yelled back at Izzy.

“You’re talking really loud.” I get up. My throat feels like someone has taken sandpaper to it.

“What’s the matter, Y/N?” Alec asks me as he walks closer to the bed and sitting down next me me.

“Nothing that is important.” I mumble not wanting to talk about it.

“I know that’s not true, Y/N.” Alec says to me as he places a hand on my shoulder. I can feel tears sting at my eyes again as I turn over in the bed to look at Alec.

“I-I … Izzy I don’t w-want t-to…”
“Can I tell him?” Izzy cuts me off and I just nod yes and bury my head in my hands as the tears once again make their way down my cheeks.

“She saw Jace and Clary kissing today.” At the mention of Jace’s name, a sob breaks its way past my lips.

“He what! I’m going to kill him.” Alec pulls me up and sits me on his lap. I throw my arms around him and cry into his shoulder. I don’t cry as long this time and manage to calm down faster with Alec and Izzy here with me.

“When did this happen?”

“This morning, after I left the kitchen I went to find him. I guess you can say I found him all right.” I say with a broken laugh

“Did he see you?” Alec asks when I pull back to sit on the bed and wipe my face off.

“Sorry about your shirt.” I notice the stain my eye makeup has left on his shirt. “And no, I left before they saw me.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Alec mumbles again.

“Please don’t.”

He shakes his head, but I still know that he’s going to do something to him. I just don’t know what.

“Can we have chinese for dinner?” I look up to Alec.

“Sure, I’ll go and get it. You both want the usual?”

I nod my head and so does Izzy. Alec walks out of the room soon after.

“Izzy, can I use your bathroom and borrow some pajamas?”

“Sure, why don’t you go get in and I’ll bring you something to wear?” I nod my head in thanks as I make my way to the bathroom, not caring about my state of undress. Once in the bathroom, I turn the water as hot as I can before getting in and letting the water run over my body, turning my skin a pink color almost immediately. I start by washing my face and getting the dried tears off before moving to my body. My hair follows soon after.

Turning off the water, I wrap a towel around my body and step out. I notice that Izzy has been in and placed a set of pajamas out for me. Looks like she gave me one of Alec t-shirts and Y/F/C silk pants. Drying off my body and wrapping the towel around my hair, I pull back on my panties and bra before pulling on the shirt and pants. By the time I leave the bathroom after hanging up my towel, I find Alec has returned with the food. I smile in thanks.

“Feeling better?” Alec asks as I take a seat next to him on Izzy’s bed.

“Some.” I tell him as he hands me my food. Alec and Izzy both try to talk to me every now and then. They manage to get me to smile, but I’m not really in the mood to talk. Looking back at my phone, I see that it is almost ten and I have a mission to go on with Jace, but I don’t think that I can face him.

“Alec, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m supposed to go on a mission with Jace and I don’t think that I can handle it right now. Can you go for me?” I hope that he will say yes.

“You don’t have to ask. Of course, I can do this for you.” Alec leaves soon after that to get ready to go on the mission, leaving Izzy and I in the room.

“Izzy, what does Clary have that I don’t?” I ask in a small voice.

“Y/N, don’t compare yourself to Clary. You are beautiful, so very beautiful. I can’t tell you why he did it, but it has nothing to do with you. You are perfect in your own way, trust me.”

I nod my head and lay on her shoulder. I can feel her fingers running through my still damp hair, gently removing any knot that she finds. The gentle motion slowly makes me fall asleep.

Izzy and I wake up the next morning, the the alarm going off on her phone. We both get ready, I pull on the pants and boots that I wore the other day and just tuck Alec’s shirt into the pants. I leave my hair down, not wanting to deal with it.

Izzy takes my hand in hers as we walk to the kitchen to get something to eat. As we get closer to the kitchen, I can hear yelling. Izzy and I find Jace on the ground holding his nose as blood drips down onto his shirt.

“Alec, stop!” I yell, stopping Alec in his tracks before he could hit Jace again. They both turn to look at me when I yell. Alec looks like the kid who got caught with this hand in the cookie jar.

“What is going on!” Jace gets out, but his voice is distorted by his hand. No one answers him. I just move across the kitchen and wet a rag before walking over to him.

“Can I talk to Jace alone?” I ask to Izzy and Alec.

“Sure.” Izzy say before grabbing Alec’s hand and pulling him out of the room.

“Can you tell me why I was just punched in the face?”

“I think we should break up.” My voice sounds so much stronger than I feel. Jace stumbles away from me as if my touch burned him.
“What? I-I don't…” He trails off not knowing what to say.

I can hear the pain in his voice and it’s a stab to my already broken heart. I look down to my hands not wanting him to see the pain in my eyes.

“I saw you kissing Clary yesterday.” When he doesn’t say anything, I look up to him I can see the tears running down his face. And at that moment, I feel nothing but rage.

“What? Have nothing to say! Didn’t expect me to find out? Well, I did! It was a hell of a birthday yesterday.”

“Y/N, you have to believe! I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me! I would never do that to you. I love you!”

“Jace… I want to believe you so badly. I love you so much! But you have been spending so much time with her. You forgot my birthday yesterday. I saw you kiss her… So I don’t believe you.” I walk out of the kitchen and make my way to Alec’s room hoping to find him there. Knocking on the door, it’s pulled open to me.

“Can I come in?” I ask in a small voice.

He steps out of the way and I make my way over to his bed and sit down.

“I broke up with Jace.” I say breaking the silence.

“I am so sorry, Y/N. Are you okay?”

“I’m a bit numb actually… Alec, go take care of  Jace. He needs you. You’re his parabatai.”

He nods his head and walks out of the room. I leave to Izzy’s room. She’s not in there, but knowing she won’t care that I am there, I curl up on the bed, expecting myself to break down once again, but I don’t. I don’t know how long I lay there before there is a knock at the door.

Knowing that if it was Izzy, she would just walk in, so I let them knock again with no plan to answer them, wanting to be alone. They knock again before I hear the door knob turn. Looking over to the door, it’s the last person I want to see.

“What do you want, Clary?”

“Just listen please. Jace didn’t kiss me. I kissed him. I didn’t know that you two were dating or I never would have. He pushed me away. He went looking for you, but never found you. Please he…he is in Alec’s room crying. Just go talk to him.”

“You didn’t know that we were dating?”

“No. I guess I still have a lot to learn about this world that I am now apart of.” She looks down at my feet. “I don’t even know why I kissed him. The only thing I can think of is that he saved my life. I know it doesn’t make up for all of this, but I really am sorry.”

“It’s going to take some time before I’m not angry at you, but thanks for talking to me. And yes, you do have a lot to learn, but I’m willing to help you.” I stand up from the bed.

“So, are we good?” Clary asks me.

“No, not yet. But we will be.” I smile. “ You said he was in Alec’s room?”

She nods her head as I walk past her and out into the hall.

I find Izzy standing there.

“I take it you had something to do with that.” I start to walk down the hall.

“Yeah, she felt so badly about it and I knew you needed to hear it from her and not me. Are you going to go talk to Jace?” There’s hope in her eyes.

“Yeah, but I make no promises.”

She nods her head in understanding as we stop in front of Alec’s room.

I don’t bother to knock on the door before I open it, expecting to find Alec in here as well.  I’m shocked when he isn’t.

“I told you Alec, I just want to be alone.” Jace says in a small and broken voice.

I don’t say anything as I make my way over to the bed. I sit down next to him.

“Clary came and talked to me.” He sits up and turns to look at me so fast that I would’ve believed he had whiplash.

He has tears running down his face before I can think better of it, I reach out and wipe them from his cheeks. Jace just leans into my touch.

“I-I…” I break him off by pulling him to him into a crushing hug. Both of us cling to each other, not wanting to let go of each other.

“I know, love. I forgive you. Can you forgive me?” I say into his hair.

“If you can forgive me, then I can forgive you.” Jace says to me, his voice already sounding stronger.

“Let’s go to bed. We can talk more later.” I grab his hand and pull him from Alec’s room and to ours.

We both strip out of what we’re wearing. I pull on some clean panties and forgo my bra and just pull on one of Jace’s t-shirts before climbing into bed next to him. He falls asleep still clinging to me, but I couldn’t be happier.

I wake up some time later to Jace laying on his back with his hands wrapped around my waist, holding me to him, I hear Alec’s faint whisper to Izzy.

“I think they are going to be just fine.”

A/N: Thanks for reading. I am still taking requests but I don’t know how soon I will get to it, but feel free to send me them. 

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I learned that i shouldn’t depend my happiness to you. When it ended, i forgot how to smile again, i don’t even know how to laugh, i always fake my emotions to show that i’m not affected. I forgot how it feels to be alive. I thought my world ended when i got my heart broke by you.

It was so hard. Waking up feels like a nightmare. I felt that i was breathing without a soul, a walking dead. You took my heart with you, even my soul. But every day, it makes sense why it happened. Day by day i am learning how to live again. I learned that i don’t need you to be alive, to breathe and to smile again. Maybe it’s God’s way of showing me that i’m not on the right path but he let me experienced it to learned a lot.

I still miss you.

When i’m in the middle of the night i still think of you, but it doesn’t hurt anymore unlike the first time. I still miss you but i realize that i don’t want you back. I am working on living my life without you, i know i can make it.

I know that you are happy now and i’m not the reason anymore. And i should be happy too because i still have the people around me who loves me and didn’t leave me. I am learning that, i don’t need you for my happiness.

I am still on process of picking up the missing pieces. And i guess i am getting there.

—  moving on and letting go