I just want to say that I relate to this chapter on a spiritual level. I suffered from depression for 8 years. My dad was everything to me but he died from lung cancer when I was 14. My mom was absent my whole life even tho she was alive. So he was my only family. I became suicidal after that. I isolated myself from everyone n I always had this nagging feeling that nobody loved me even tho I had my grandparents and my best friend all the time. I met my husband when I started my college. (1)
He’s a really serious person. He comes from a totally different culture and religion. I liked him bc he didn’t treated me like a damsle in distress. He knew something was wrong with me. One day from out of the blue I told him everything. I knew I liked him a lot but I never thought he’d support me like that. He alone convinced me to seek help. I remember the first we were together n it was really emotional. Bc it was the first time I was completely without a mask in 6 long years. (2)
I was kind of surprised bc I thought he was kind of cold towards emotions. It took me 3 more years to recover properly. But it’s the hard truth about depression is that u never recover properly. I’ll always have tht big hole in my heart bc nobody can take my dad’s place but u can learn to make more space for other people who care about u. I’d love to give Ishida a hug for portraying this sex scene with so much maturity. I’m always thankful to Ishida for this proper presentation of depression/end
A big reason for Tokyo Ghoul’s popularity is that it comes from the deepest, darkest part of Ishida’s mind, and it’s a place that a lot of people recognise. In your story there are definite echoes of both Kaneki’s and Touka’s storylines, and as you point out, sex can have a huge impact on your entire way of thinking. The Seinen genre allows TG to explore all of life’s colours, from the most gory, depressing, and violent, to the sexual, sensual and sublime. TG doesn’t shy away from any of it, because as you say here, it’s important that people hear it. And whatever Ishida writes about, he writes it beautifully.
It’s for that reason that people can find solace in the characters he writes about, and by writing them he reinforces their right to exist, in a way. Draws attention to the depressed, lonely, forgotten, and confused individuals who get swept away and disregarded by a society that prefers to stick its head in the sand until they pass on by. That’s what great horror, great tragedy, great romance can do: cleanse you of your own regrets, sins and anxieties by recreating them in a manner that can only be called beautiful. For me, I know I experience that kind of catharsis with everything about Kaneki.
Basically Ishida is just totally awesome and thank you anon for having the bravery to tell your story to demonstrate that.