i never forget to do such thing

anonymous asked:

what do you think of health care assistants/clinical support workers? do you think they're vital to the team or glorified poop scoopers

I think that I couldn’t do my job without them! I have so many tasks and calls and things to do and it would honestly be overwhelming without health care assistants. The amount of times they’ve grabbed me something I needed, helped me with tasks, held a crying baby, called a billion people just to get a bed or a pillow, I can’t even imagine work without them. I think health care assistants are the glue that holds a unit together. Nurses and doctors often have laser focus but we forget things and I have seen assistants pick up on the slack and keep us on track countless times. Never considered them “poop scoopers” ever.

anonymous asked:

I know that every excuse he makes is just a lie, but why can't I help but pretend it's nothing? I get prepared to say something but then he kisses me and I just forgive him over and over again. It's honestly one of the most exhausting emotional thing I've been through.

i saw this tumblr post that really hit me, it says: a long lasting relationship demands a lot of forgiveness or something like that. 

i don’t know what he excuses for, and you know best if he deserves your forgivness. but do say something, even though he kisses you. say it after. do say something, and then forgive him. 

i remember my husband said: if we always keep forgiving each other we are gonna last forever. and i never forget that. 

@first-son-of-finwe ok, you’re Russian, you could understand our point. It’s not about “you could write or you could not write”, using a topic like this only because “it’s cool” is a biggest NOPE. At least make research, be careful with the material that you’re writing, don’t do it only because it “seems cool”. Never forget that the mafia is full of homophobic shit, so pretending that they could be a cute gang of cute criminals who helped their boss to conquer his boyfriend … well, it not only wrong, could be offensive for the memories all the people who died for the homophobia of the mafia (and yes, it happened)

Btw. On the other side, could you blame us for being tired of the senseless (and dangerous) idea of the fandom that mafia is a cute and romantic thing? I mean, Tumblr is xenophobic like shit when they talk about Italy ^^ because they could insult us because we have mafia, but at the same time they could romanticize an huge problem of my country, finding it “cute”, and refuse to listen us when we tempt to say that mafia is dangerous and NOT a cute thing. Could you blame us if we are tired of this?

video games are so incredibly hostile and unwelcoming to mlm and im really feeling this more than ever after Watch_dogs 2 decided to continue to queerbait its audience with Wrench and Marcus w/o ever confirming their relationship as anything other than a joke, and after Mass Effect: Andromeda decided to not include gay men in major roles out of fear of backlash from the straight male audience, and Persona 5 preferred teacher/student relationships to relationships between two boys of the same age and etc etc etc

like these are all on varying levels of being overtly homophobic but the theme is fucking unignorable; video games dont want to have gay or bi men and its undeniably because theyre scared of upsetting the core straight male demographic by confronting them with things like gay and bi men. 

like right now im desperately waiting for blizzard to reveal who the gay characters in Overwatch are because if any of these men are gay theyre going to be the only male player characters who are canonically gay or bisexual (and not just player choice) that i know of who havent just been “confirmed gay” on twitter. and even the characters that do fall into the latter category add up to a grand total of two (and i hate including Axton from Borderlands 2 because i will never forget that his one off line flirting with guys was originally a fucking programming glitch gearbox chose not to fix. the other guy in question is Jacob Frye from Assassins Creed if anyone is curious)

im sick and tired of this like its exhausting just not existing to anyone. its not like the situation in film or television or any other media is that much fucking better right now, but at least i can name movies and tv shows that have gay men in them. its so unendingly depressing being a gay man and trying to enjoy video games because unless im willing to build them for myself they just dont fucking exist. 

This is such a small thing in the sea of things I loved about Wonder Woman, but I would just like to point out that they fucking referenced the genocide of native Americans by white people as an example of all humans beings doing terrible things, even the “good guys” and I was honestly just blown away by that. Too often in World War I or II movies there’s a line in the sand drawn with the good and the evil and war is just never that simple. Americans came into World War I as “heroes” but they had literally just finished destroying an entire race. Too often War films forget that, especially superhero ones. I love Captain America to bits, but the cartoonish oversimplification of all Germans as evil and the Allied forces as all good is a dangerous one. It makes people forget that all humans have a capacity for evil. So it kind of blew my mind to see Wonder Woman touching on that in such a simple, elegant way.

anonymous asked:

Can you list the Ron moments that the movie missed our changed?... or maybe give a link to a post which already has the list.

Okay, this is going to be done from memory so bear with me. 

Philosopher’s Stone

  • Ron offering to share his food with Harry from the moment they meet.
  • Ron teaching Harry how to play wizard’s chess (this is kind of in the film but not explicitly so I thought I’d include it.)
  • Staying over Christmas with Harry and trying to cheer him up after the mirror incidents (I think they did film a part of this but it was a deleted scene for some reason ??? why ???)
  • RON BEING THE CALM ONE DURING THE DEVIL’S SNARE SCENE NOT HERMIONE (’But there’s no wood!’ ‘Are you a witch or not?’)

Chamber of Secrets

  • Constantly defending Harry from Draco
  • The scene where Draco calls Hermione a mudblood and it was actually Ron who new what the term meant and explained it, not Hermione
  • Visiting Hermione in the hospital wing after she turns herself into a cat and bringing her all her homework that she missed
  • Ron going into a freaking forest full of spiders and tackling his biggest fear. Even though he was shaking the entire time and is so terrified he can’t even speak by the end of it and actually /throws up/ afterwards, he still went and did it because it needed to be done and he wasn’t about to let Harry go alone. (Okay so this was in the films but I really don’t think they actually captured the gravity of it, instead choosing to turn Ron into comic relief… Again.)
  • Being the one to go to the hospital wing so that Hermione will have someone with her so she’s not alone and to explain what happened when she wakes up

Prisoner of Azkaban

  • Actually being really concerned about Scabbers’ health and buying the rat tonic for him
  • Actual background to the Crooksanks v Scabbers business instead of just villainising Ron for the sake of making Hermione seem better
  • When he was literally woken up by Sirius holding a knife over his bed, who, as far as anyone knew then, was a mass murderer??? Why isn’t this talked about more ??
  • ‘YOU ASKED A QUESTION AND SHE KNOWS THE ANSWER, WHY ASK IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD?’ 
  • Noticing Hermione’s weird af schedule and being the only one to aCTUALLY CARE about where she was going and what she was doing
  • Literally fucking pushing Harry out of the way when they see Sirius in dog form (who they think is The Grim) and consequently getting a broken leg + dragged by his arm into the Whomping Willow
  • Awkwardly patting Hermione on the head after she apologises, instead of that weird hug thing they share in the films
  • Taking on Buckbeak’s appeal and dedicating so much time and effort into his case. Call this boy lazy or apathetic again I dare you.
  • Standing up on a BROKEN LEG to tell Sirius, who, again, was thought to be a MASS MURDERER, that ‘If you want to kill Harry you’ll have to kill us too!’ whilst Hermione stood frozen in the corner
  • Making peace with Crookshanks at the end of the book by holding Pigwidgeon up for him to check that he isn’t evil (I love Ron so much)

Goblet of Fire

  • ‘We’ll pick you up on Sunday if you can come, and we’ll still pick you up on Sunday if you can’t’ (or something like that) when talking about the quidditch world cup
  • The background and reasoning behind the big fight with Harry (+the later argument they had where Harry threw the badge @ his head.)
  • The actual insecurity Ron suffered because of the dress robes, not just the comic relief side of it.
  • Helping Harry practice for the second and third tasks practically 24/7 (including letting Harry practice stunning on him!!! #dedication)
  • Getting Krum to sign his autograph + basically all of hIS HUGE CRUSH ON KRUM JFC
  • Just generally being there for Harry after Cedric even when Harry pushes him away

Order of the Phoenix

  • Again, just generally being there for Harry even when Harry is being an ass to him (+ the part where Ron desperately wants to tell him what’s going on but Hermione + all the adults insists that they can’t)
  • RON WEASLEY BECOMING A MOTHERFUCKING PREFECT
  • The year of quidditch which, although being an essential part of the book with the whole Umbridge arc, is not even MENTIONED in the film. Literally, it’s one of the only films that doesn’t feature quidditch yet it’s the book where I’d consider quidditch to be the most important.
  • Anyway, yes, quidditch. Ron getting a new broom and sneaking out to practice so he can try out for the team
  • HERMIONE KISSING HIM ON THE CHEEK FOR LUCK. I SCREAM.
  • Ron making it on the team and having very very very little confidence so he’s… quite terrible the first few matches.
  • The awful ‘Weasley is Our King’ song that Malfoy made and the Slytherins take to singing at. Every. Single. Match.
  • Ron gaining his confidence and destroying the other team at quidditch, during which, neither Harry or Hermione were actually there to witness it. And Ron is so happy and proud but when Harry and Hermione start talking about Grawp, instead of being petty and angry at them, he listens intently and tries to help
  • Always backing up Harry when Hermione is being slightly insufferable towards him and not really understanding of his needs. (e.g when she’s pressuring him to do better at occlumency and Ron tells her to back off)
  • The whole arc where Arthur gets injured and all the Weasleys are sat around the kitchen at Grimmauld place waiting for news + the parts in St Mungos (this was in the film a little but they really didn’t go into the effect it had on the Weasleys. Especially Ron and Ginny)
  • The miraculous plan they all come up with to get Harry into Umbridge’s office (which, admittedly, backfires, but hey. At least they tries) during which Ron plays a pivotal role, not just a struggling character in the background
  • Everything to do with the ministry tbh ??? From battling death eaters to the spell that makes him delirious to the brain almost suffocating him
  • Staying in the hospital wing with Hermione for the rest of the year and the scars all down his arms from where the brain attacked him

Half Blood Prince

  • When Hermione is talking about why girls find Harry attractive and Ron is all like ‘Look at me Hermione! I’m tall too! I have scars too!” 
  • Backing up Harry when he answers Snape’s question about inferi compared to ghosts (”Well what Harry said was the most useful! If I’m going to face an inferi I’m going to be looking for if it’s transparent not asking ‘excuse me are you the imprint of a departed soul?’” or something similar. Get wrecked Snape.)
  • All of the quidditch moments in this book are golden.
  • That moment where Hermione super awkwardly asks Ron to Slughorn’s party and Harry is just in the background like,,, what an interesting plant
  • Ginny antagonising Ron about never having kissed anyone and the subsequent Lavender disaster that followed
  • Everything to do with Lavender tbh. Like, their whole relationship, not just the comic version in the movies
  • Ron’s getting poisoned actually being a really serious thing and all his family showing up at the hospital wing
  • Pretending to be asleep when Lavender comes to visit (Ron Weasley how dare you, your mother raised you better than this)
  • Okay, I really want to make a separate post about this but the whole Luna/Ron friendship in this one is gold
  • I feel like we as a fandom collectively forget this one but Ron and the rest of the DA fighting the death eaters with felix felicis whilst Harry is up the astronomy tower with Dumbledore
  • Holding Hermione at Dumbledore’s funeral ???? Honestly that’s all I need in life
  • RON ‘WE’RE WITH YOU WHATEVER HAPPENS’ WEASLEY VOWING TO ALWAYS BE AT HARRY’S SIDE INSTEAD OF SITTING IN THE BACKGROUND LIKE A STALE POTATO WHILST HARRY AND HERMIONE PLAN

Deathly Hallows

  • Giving Harry the how to charm witches book and actively trying to start a relationship with Hermione
  • Comforting Hermione when she’s upset and not being awkward about it !!!! Character development (I’m seeing a parallel to the head pat in PoA, anyone else?)
  • Standing up to the Minister of Magic at the age of seventeen like. Honestly Ron Weasley is such a badass I love him
  • Literally giving up a life of comfort and security to go and live as a fugitive in order to help Harry
  • Pushing Hermione the fuck out of the way when they’re found by Death Eaters near Charlesbury !!! Like, this boy is so brave and self-sacrificing I’m going to cry
  • Falling asleep holding hands with Hermione @ Grimmauld place
  • The severity of his splinching after the ministry debacle
  • The very real concern for his sister and Harry + Hermione’s apparent apathy that triggers the fight between him and Harry, not some motive entirely brought about by jealousy as the movies suggest
  • Okay, not Ron, but the movies really didn’t capture just how unable Harry and Hermione became without him. They didn’t talk to each other, they didn’t communicate in any way for like 95% of his absence. They were literally unable to function without him I’m so sad.
  • Saving Harry’s life and, importantly, the conversation they had afterwards where Harry reassured him that his insecurities were unfounded. And the hug. Where was my hug,Yates? Where was it?
  • Ron once again assuming his role as the heart of the trio; making Harry laugh, keeping the spirits up, getting them to function again.
  • Malfoy Manor. Just. Malfoy Manor. “NO YOU CAN HAVE ME, TAKE ME!” “HERMIONE! HERMIONE!” Literally being so distressed and worried for Hermione that he OFFERED UP HIS OWN LIFE FOR HERS AND LOST THE ABILITY TO THINK RATIONALLY. CAn we just. 
  • Even despite the mental anguish he’s going through, Ron still manages to come up with a solution for where Dobby should take them
  • Again, despite everything that’s happening around him, Ron does a near perfect imitation of Wormtail’s voice
  • Disarming Bellatrix fucking Lestrange
  • Managing to successfully apparate for the first time ever in a very high pressure situation in order to get Hermione to safety
  • Taking his shoes and socks off to lay on Dobby’s grave
  • Going back to Hogwarts and the reunion with the rest of his family; including Percy, which I really missed from the books
  • Literally like everything that happened during the battle of Hogwarts but especially:
  • “We’ve forgotten someone!” “Who?” “The house elves!” Like, guys, this is such a significant moment for his character and I understand completely why Hermione chooses this moment to kiss him 
  • How wrecked he was after Fred’s death. Like, in the books Ron is actually there to witness it. He sees his brother die. I am Not okay.
  • Hermione having to physically restrain him because he wants to go and get revenge for Fred
  • Ron punching Draco in his slimy little face “And that’s the second time we’ve saved your life tonight you two-faced bastard!”
  • Offering to be the one to go to the shrieking shack ?? ALone ?? He says something like ‘Harry you can’t go un case they see you, wait here with Hermione, and I’ll take the cloak and-” when they all know it could be a suicide mission. I’m.
  • BREAKING VOLDEMORT’S SILENCING SPELL
  • I’m sorry let me just re-iterate: RONALD WEASLEY BROKE A SILENCING SPELL MADE BY ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARDS TO EVER EXIST
  • Taking out Fenrir Greyback with Neville
  • Being the first to reach Harry after he defeated Voldemort, along with Hermione
  • Just the part where the trio go to Dumbledore’s office because I just. That’s such a nice and well rounded ending I’m going to cry
  • In the epilogue, practically everything about Ron is great but especially: “Don’t worry, it’s me, I’m famous”

In Conclusion

  • I love Ron Weasley so much
  • The films do not do him justice

- Admin Kat

(Feel free to reblog this with anything I’ve missed!)

Signs based on people I know
  • Aries: Really loud, Extroverted, Doesn't care what others think of them, Knows how to compliment you, Cowardly, Loves to brag, Self-centred, Tries to learn from past mistakes, Wants to be everyones bestie, Kind of like a overly excited dog with huge eyes, Hyper af
  • Taurus: Know-it-all, Kind, Grumpy, Their doors are always open if you're in need, Family oriented, Likes to buy clothes, Has a very interesting fashion style, A bit cold sometimes, Loves sleeping, Can never agree with you, Will lecture you for 4 hours if you did something stupid
  • Gemini: Witty, Flirty, Strange sense of humour, Dismissive, Is always changing their hair, Loves kissing, If mad ignores you, Kind of pretty but I'm mad at them so no not really, Haven't like seen them for almost 3 years
  • Cancer: Loves to draw, But when drawing curses and gets mad, Grumpy, Doesn't talk much, But does get these random times that they talk non-stop, Forgetful, A bit of an airhead, Takes things very personally, Angry eyebrows on fleek, Loves buying random things, Specially for people, Changes their hairstyle and hair colour like all of the time and then regrets it
  • Leo: Talks for hours about something they find interesting, Manages to make people interested in that certain thing, Always got something to say, Smart, Humorous, Loves Spain, Probably wants to live in Spain, Really good at hiding their flaws, Sure of themself
  • Virgo: Manages to impress a art teacher with a dead bird, Takes bath with their friends, Whiny, Creative, Hypocrite, Lazy, Only has crushes on guys who are muscular, Thinks everyone has a crush on them, Funny, Knows how to do everything
  • Libra: Gossiper, Says that they hate something but never do anything about it, Loves cats, Is super scared of ghost movies but watches them anyways, Has been on a diet since 2003, Binge eater, Really artistic but doesn't pursue that talent, Likes being alone, Only reads crime stories
  • Scorpio: Is always the victim, Thinks they did nothing wrong, Cries a lot, Uses fancy words to sound smarter, Loves dragons, That binge eater who cries while binge eating, Plays too many video games, Wants to get revenge on someone all the time
  • Sagittarius: Almost always in a good mood, When angry takes it out on everybody, Always traveling, Loves to talk about history, Generous, Cuddly, Thinks amusement parks are the best but doesn't like to go to something the includes horror, Only watches action films, A bit insecure, Is actually just a huge dog that wants to play
  • Capricorn: Always wearing a cosplay, Everyone loves them for some reason, Doesn't take any responsibility, Only thing they do is make cosplays, Talks in memes, Dyes their hair colour like every week, Is really popular but still says that they don't have any friends, Is single for maybe a day
  • Aquarius: Really chill, Quite, Soft spoken, Secretive, Somehow knows what you like even though you've never told them, Awkward, You sometimes forget that they're in the room, You never know what they are going to do, Mysterious
  • Pisces: Only hobby is basketball, Cries when they don't get something, Favourite child, Strong willed, Has really strong opinion on things, Emotional, Has tons of stuff that they never use, Always seems to have money, Eats candy in secret for some reason, Has definitely started drinking but their parents try really hard to deny it
And maybe if our lives had aligned, we could’ve continued to date and hold hands and I’d be in college with you and I’d get a job and maybe we could use money from my paycheck to go out on dates and you’d never even have to worry about rides because I’d pick you up and maybe we’re not even going out on a date, maybe we’d just go on long drives around town doing nothing and maybe we’d stop for food somewhere and all of this fun stupid stuff. Or we could even just stay home all day and play video games and be ugly and listen to music together or watch stupid stuff and all of these things I want to do with you and only you. Oh and naps. You can’t forget napping together.
But. Here I am. And I have to let it all go and I have to keep going because. Yeah.
—  roibitussin 

Hi guys! Here’s a little masterpost of quotes from children’s books that you can use in your bullet journal, or anywhere else you feel like!

THE LITTLE PRINCE (ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY)

  • “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
  • “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
  • “You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed.” 
  • “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them…In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night…You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”
  • “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them”
  • “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” 

A LITTLE PRINCESS (FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT)

  • “If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.”
  • “When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage, and they are not, and they say stupid things they wish they hadn’t said afterward. “
  • “There’s nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in–that’s stronger. It’s a good thing not to answer your enemies.”
  • “If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that–warm things, kind things, sweet things–help and comfort and laughter–and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.”
  • “Somehow, something always happens just before things get to the very worst. It is as if Magic did it. If I could only just remember that always. The worse thing never quite comes.”
  • “But I suppose there might be good in things, even if we don’t see it.”
  • “You don’t forget, but you bear it better.” 

LITTLE WOMEN (LOUISA MAY ALCOTT)

  • “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
  • “It’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”
  • “Love is a great beautifier.” 
  • “Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”
  • “I want to do something splendid…something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.” 
  • “Conceit spoils the finest genius.” 
  • “Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”
  • “Life and love are very precious when both are in full bloom.”
  • “The only chivalry worth having is that which is the readiest to to pay deference to the old, protect the feeble, and serve womankind, regardless of rank, age, or color.”
  • “Books are always good company if you have the right sort.”
  • “The humblest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them.”
  • “Now and then, in this workaday world, things do happen in the delightful storybook fashion, and what a comfort that is.”

MATLIDA (ROALD DAHL)

  • “So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” 
  • “Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…” 
  • “I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn’t face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody.”
  • “I’ve always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn’t I?”
  • “There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards.”
  • “I’m afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are.”

THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH (NORTON JUSTER)

  • “So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.”
  • “Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”
  • “Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life. ”
  • “You must never feel badly about making mistakes … as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.”
  • “The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what’s in between.”
  • “What you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do.”
  • “What you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow.”
  • “Whatever we learn has a purpose and whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way.”

THE GOLDEN COMPASS (PHILIP PULLMAN)

  • “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
  • “We are all subject to the fates. But we must act as if we are not, or die of despair.”
  • “Every opportunity will come again.”
... Somehow, Still Talking About This Captain America Shit (Now With Bonus Spider-Man and Agents of SHIELD)

So now Secret Empire has revealed its Shyamalan Twist and given the readers a Good Guy Steve Rogers as well as Hydra Cap, and the kinds of dickbags who, when this whole bullshit began were dismissing people’s complaints with “oh come on, don’t you know how comics works, it’s all going to be put back at the end, blah blah blah…” are crowing I-Told-You-So’s.

But here’s the thing:

Yeah, fucknuts.  We always knew this.

Keep reading

MOVIE COMPILATION

SO, I finally got around to compiling a list of some of my favorite movies that focus on either nymphets, Teacher/Student relationships, or just age gap relationships. Keep in mind that these are all movies I have WATCHED. I am aware there are more movies out there that fall into these categories but I haven’t gotten around to them. If you want to recommend any to me, please send me an ask or message! If you click on the movie title it will direct you to its corresponding IMDb. The movies marked with a “♡” are linked straight to their movie so you can actually watch them. Feel free to dig around for them if it’s not up to your standard. Also some of these movies are on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, or YouTube so please check there first. Lastly, yes some of these are Lifetime or made-for-TV movies. Yes they are cheesy and YES I STILL LOVE THEM.

Anyways, without any further ado, here is a list of movies I recommend for the topics listed above:

*These are movies that don’t necessarily revolve around the subjects listed but they contain a very small part of it or overall fit the “aesthetic”.

P.S. No I did not forget Lolita, I just haven’t watched it nor do I plan to until I read the book.

4

@cheshirerabit said: Shit, your teacher Bakugou idea is something I never considered but now think would be really cool. Cuz he would not stop being a hero but he wouldn’t half-ass being a teacher so it would be like how All Might attempted to hero and teach but could actually work. Plus, I’m all for Bakugou’s role model switching with time to Aizawa. 10/10 idea.

Anon said: OMG Fran now i want to see Teacher or Older Bakugou or or Bakugou with Aizawa

Bless both of you for giving me a reason to talk about this cause honestly I love this idea way more than striktly necessary - this!!! is how I like to think it would go down:

Keep reading

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

[TRANS] BTS Festa 2014 - Post-its to BTS

V

“Hey V!
When hyung look at you, uh, my heart hurts so so much.
I said you just need to trust and follow hyung right?
Why don’t you know that ㅋㅋㅋ Be obedient ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Wanna gang up and fight off Suga-hyung? Deal?” - Jimin 

“Hey V…
What’s your next hair color?
I’m curious too.” - Suga 

“V, speak to the point and precisely.” - J-hope 

“V.
You’re the kind of kid that makes people love and hate at the same time.
You’re similar to me in many things but sometimes I can’t understand you… Be more obedient.
P.S. Am I weird too?” - Rap Monster 

“Be a human.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Taehyung.
I don’t mind you resting in my room when I’m not at the dorm but clean up after you go~ Let’s live cleanly at the dorm! You’re No.1 on my blacklist ㅋㅋ” - Manager 

J-HOPE 

“Hobi-hyungnim.
Hyung ㅋㅋㅋ I demand a duel with you and Suga-hyung ㅋㅋ Right now you guys think I’m cute but the day this table is turned will come soon. Wait a little bit more.” - Jimin 

“Hey Hope…
These days your variety sense is getting better.
It’s good.
But thanks to that it’s twice noisier too…” - Suga 

“Hobi-hyung.
You’re always hopeful and cheerful but I think you must go through hard times too. If you do, you can look for me and talk. I can listen to your stories. […]” - Jungkook 

“Hey J-hope.
I heard you saved my contact as ‘Kim Seokjin-hyung’.
It’s okay.
I saved yours as ‘Bighit Jung Hoseok’.” - Jin 

“You pervert… ㅡ ㅡ
For example when I’m playing games, don’t turn off the outlet.” -

“Hope.
Sometimes you’re earnest, sometimes you’re the laziest. Show the world more of your abilities.” - Rap Monster 

“Chief Jung who always work hard and look after BTS. Wait, now that you’re promoted, you became team leader Jung right? ㅎ I believe there’s no doubt you’ll get good reward and result with how hard you’ve worked. Let’s get promoted to President Jung!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Team leader Jung who’s always very helpful! Thanks~” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

RAP MONSTER 

“Hey Rapmon, shower cleanly.” - J-hope 

“If you borrow something you have to return it back.” -

“Hey Rapmon…
These days you’re not snoring…
Thanks to that I’m sleeping peacefully.
Thank you…” - Suga 

“Hey Rapmon.
I don’t know if I adapted myself to your snoring or if your snoring got quieter, but I got used to it.
It’s fine, it’s all good.” - Jin 

“Rapmonie-hyung.
You must be tired from going through a lot for the 6 of us right. I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you. I’ll work harder so you’ll have less hard times.” - Jungkook 

“Moni-hyung.
You’ll stand by our side right? You will right? I like you a lot but nah, I think you’ll betray us ㅋㅋㅋ I’ll leave you out. It’s a coup d'état!! Kakakaka.” - Jimin 

“Go to the bathroom before we start practicing.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

SUGA 

“Suga-hyungnim, thank you for thinking I’m cute ㅎㅎ I’ll fight you off some day. I’m gathering the team for it. Just wait. From the coolest guy in BTS.” - Jimin 

“Syub-hyung.
Please be more obedient.
I know your childish inner self better than anyone else ^*^!” - Rap Monster 

“Hey Suga.
I like your lazinism. Really.
I feel at ease when I see you lying down.
Really.” - Jin 

“You only need to show a little bit of your lethargy.” -

“Suga-hyung.
You must be tired from working and composing until late at night. You don’t seem to gain any weight so please eat a lot. When […] I’ll buy it for you.” - Jungkook 

“SUGA fighting!!” - J-hope 

“To. Suga Rebel.
Old soul. Genius artist?
Thanks to you BTS can be BTS. I hope you can keep being that way and become a great artist!!
When will you write a title song? ㅋ” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Take care of your health when you’re still young.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIN 

“Jjin-hyung~
You’re doing great.
Please show us the ✨eldest hyung✨ side of youㅡ
P.S. Thanks for your cooking! ^*^” - Rap Monster 

“Jin-hyung, please shave.” - J-hope 

“It’s too much if you know you’re handsome yourself.” -

“Jin-hyung…
Must be tired doing all the assignments for college right…?
You just need to avoid getting academic probation…
I’ll always support you.” - Suga 

“Jin-hyungnim.
Hyungnim T_T~ I’m going to fight off Syubsyubie-hyung and Hope-hyung but I need your help! If you’re there those people will ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ㅋㅋㅋ So you have to help me!!!
The most handsome cook in BTS, Jin-hyung.” - Jimin 

“Jin-hyung. Thank you for making us many delicious dishes.” - Jungkook  

“To. Jin BTS’ shoulder-slash-eldest-hyung!
You always stay behind quietly but I know you are their mediator and their shoulder to lean on.
Maybe the day when you’re called Korea’s best actor will come soon too?^^” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Seokjin.
Thanks to your ability to cook tasty dishes from limited ingredients, I always get to eat deliciously~ Take care of me in the future too~” - Manager 

“Hoot…” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JIMIN 

“Hey Jimin…
Why do we stop growing so soon…” - Suga 

“Jiminie-hyung.
You’re having a hard time these days because of me right.
I’ll be more obedient.
Thank you.
Let’s work out together 3 years later ㅋ” - Jungkook 

“Jimin.
You know I love you right?
It’s no joke~” - J-hope 

“Don’t touch your thighs you pervert.” -

“To. Jimin
Hardworker, in charge of charm, Jiminie!! ♡
From someone who joined BTS the latest, you have now become an irreplaceable part of the team! Keeping working hard in the future too!! […] the saying that heaven will help hardworkers.” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“Go to the bathroom early. Don’t go when we start.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

JUNGKOOK 

“Jungkook…
Stop working out…
Let’s not work out with me…” - Suga 

“Hey Jungkook.
You listen to me well so you’re good.
This brat.
Good. But refrain from working out…” - Jin 

“Jungkooks~
Jungkook, I’m not pressuring you! I’m planning to kick out Suga-hyung and Hobi-hyung but I won’t pressure you to stand by my side. But I’m treating you really well!!! Right? Our kind and pretty Kookie…” - Jimin 

“Jungkook, you’re so good even at practicing. I think I need to learn more because of you too. But be more obedient~” -

“To. Jungkook
Golden maknae!! Is there any word that can describe better than this? ㅎ
I believe that if you are not settled with your natural talents, not hate doing repeated things and work with passion, there’s no doubt one day you’ll become the best singer in Korea!
Hope you will never forget your passion and effort!!” - Bang Shihyuk PD 

“My manager. Once a manager, forever a manager.” - Choreographer Son Sungdeuk 

“Jungkook~
Wake up when I wake you in the morning! Sometimes I’m scared when no matter what I do, you still remain motionless like a stone stature. And sleep on your bed~! Don’t sleep in weird position on the floor too~!” - Manager

I figured out why Viktor is so awful at seducing Yuuri

And I mean, for someone who has pretty much yearned for a guy for an entire year, it’s not like Viktor didn’t have enough time to mentally imagine and plan how he was going to seduce Yuuri. 

Like, what was this, Viktor? Just show up at his house naked unannounced, and immediately expect him to sleep with you? It literally took Viktor several months to even get a kiss from Yuuri. 

So, why is he so appalling? 

To be honest, I think it’s because Viktor has never pursued anybody himself. From a young age, he’s always been Viktor Nikiforov Figure Skating Legend, people naturally gravitate towards him. In general, too, rather than romantically. 

We do know that Viktor has at some point done something with someone, as he mentions it in episode two. However, we see after his engagement to Yuuri that he’s neglected love in his life until now. Which would kind of make sense if Viktor only ‘dated’ people if they approached him, as relationships kind of need to be a mutual thing. 

Also, don’t forget the Eros routine. As we learn, it’s a huge part of Viktor’s personality that he feels the need to surprise the audience. So, if he was planning to skate it, he must therefore not view seduction as a part of his own personality. 

So Viktor has never courted anyone before, and has no experience on how to do it. I mean, who does he have for influences? Yakov? Georgi? Christophe? He had no hope.

psychic: reads my mind
me: hi, you’re on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it. actually, most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you.
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
a long time ago… actually, never. and also now. nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why it’s been everywhere. it’s been so “everywhere,” you don’t need a “where.” you don’t even need a “when.” that’s how “every” it gets.
forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here, and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start.
and that’s exactly where it started.
big bang— pause
woah. i paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing! in a place! don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet! it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
about no seconds later
great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three, called a “proton” and a “neutron.” and there’s something else flying around that wants to join in, but can’t cause it’s too HOT.
ten minutes later
great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! some of them even doubled up.
about 380,000 years later
great news! the electrons have now joined in. congratulations! the world is now… a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together…
ten million years later
and it’s getting closer together…
500 million years later
and it’s getting closer togeth—
star is born
it’s a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit.
space dust!
which allows for newer and more interesting stars to be made, and then die and explode into even crazier space dust!
so now, stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example.
meteor hits earth
holy shit, we just got hit by another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of… made a mess. which is now the moon
weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space.
weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside of them and now there’s hot steam in the sky.
weather update: cooler temperatures today and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update… it’s raining.
severe flooding alert, the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert.
that’s land!
there'slifeintheocean
what?
something’s alive in the ocean
oh, cool. like a plant, or an animal? no! a microscopic speck. it lives in the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
microscopic speck asexually reproduces
oh yeah, and it can do that.
reproduces three more times
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.
taste the sun!
side effect, now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue.
then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while. maybe even a couple of times.
it’s a sponge… it’s a plant… it’s a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it’s the Cambrian explosion: “wow, that’s animals and stuff”
but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land?
NO
why?
the sun is a deadly laser
oh okay.
not anymore, there’s a blanket
now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land!
“nope, can’t walk yet.”
“and there’s no food yet, so i don’t care.”
100 million years later
okay, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here?
“maybe,” said some bugs. and fish.
fish gasps for air
five million years later
okay, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies!
idea: learn to use an egg.
“i was already doing that”
use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me. bye bye ocean
50 million years later
and now everything’s huge. including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land? sure.
Permian extinction
oh, fuck, now everything’s dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one, because it’s about to become
75 million years later
the dinosaurs.
here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart. don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor.
meteor strikes
and the dinosaurs are gone
it’s mammal time, here come the mammals. look at those breasts.
now they’re gonna dominate the world, but one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like that. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
“ouch”
and set things on fire.
“yeouch”
and make crazy sounds with their voice:
“gneurshk”
which can mean different things.
that’s a human person!
and now they’re everywhere. almost.
ice age!
what? you can walk over here? cool.
not anymore
well i guess we’re stuck here now.
let’s review: there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food.
fuck it. time to plant some grass.
look at this. i get to control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses, except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great! i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground.
better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next?
more food. and more people, who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses and now there’s more people and they invent things which makes things better and more people come and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power,
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing: bronze. made from special ingredient tin from the far lands of Tin Land. i dunno, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also,
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
society count: 5

norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated. maybe because it’s in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop. it’s the… people with the horses? and they made an empire. and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks!
ah look, it must be the greeks! er, a beta version of the greeks.
let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization: they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china.
new arrivals from india… maybe it’s those horse people i was talking about… or their cousins or something…
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff…
you could make a religion out of this.
there’s the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks.
look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just one though, and he’s got like a ten-step program.
here’s some huge heads. must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire. never mind, it’s the babyloni— media—
it’s the Persian Empire: “wow, that’s big”
enlightenment
ah, the buddha was just enlightened. who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke. but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
enlightenment
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea. he was… great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it’s chandragupta. he says “get the hell out of here. will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? okay, thanks, bye”
time to conquer all of india
er
most of india
but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings. no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve gotspices!
who would like to buy the spices? “me!” said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy. actually, they have three main philosophies:
confucianism: have good morals
taoism: go with the flow
legalism: fuck you, obey the law
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
nomads ransack china
let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload.bye, said the parthians. bye, said the jews. hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
“hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which actually makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this.
want silk? now you can buy it from china. they just made a brand new road to the world.
conquers vietnam
or you can get there on water
“sick! new trade routes!” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire? yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful, they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together.
china is whole again…
…then it broke again
still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels.
“hell yeah! now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold. and slaves.
“hi, i’m a member of the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?”
“no”
“actually, okay sure,” said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall.
it’s the golden age of india
there’s the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta. first name chandra. the first.
guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it’s not in rome anymore, so let’s give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh, and here’s a huge city, population: everyone.
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks.
how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together.
how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them.
korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.
intermission
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear. so, he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this, and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus, there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors.
here’s all the wisdom. in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom! just in time for the islamic golden age!
“let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise! you’re the new roman emporer!” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not-france.
the northerners, er, just “norse” if you don’t have much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north. and they find some land— two types of land!— and they name them accordingly.
prankd
they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as “vikings.”
there’s the rus! the kievan rus! are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. okay, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire. the holy roman empire! it’s actually germany, but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms—
CRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!!
which brand would you like?
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“mine’s better”
“time to conquer england,” said william.
it’s a bird! it’s a plane! it’s the seljuk turks!
“aah!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small and almost doesn’t exist anymore. “we need help!” they need help! so they call the pope.
“hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.”
“yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.”
crusade!
they did many crusades. some of which almost didn’t fail. but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans. hello toltecs! goodbye toltecs. hello mississippi! look at those mounds.
there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who’s here? khmer. where? here! and pagan is there. vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis! i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time.
i just figured out where the swahili gets all of their gold.
look at this chad! it means “lake.” there’s an empire there! right in the middle of africa!
the king of mali is so rich, he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not-spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you’re still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming! china’s back, yay!
hey, khmer. time to share. new kingdoms, here and there.
oh, look who controls all of the islands. it’s the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
ma-ja-pa-hit?
oh, italy’s real rich. time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth.
here’s a printer. let’s make books!
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? yep, said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. oops, you missed a spot. don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
“what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless.
“well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india”
“wait!” said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack. “if the world is round, let’s go this way to india.”
“nah, don’t worry, we already got this,” said portugal.
so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?”
“no”
“please?”
“no”
“please?”
“wtf”
“no”
“please?”
“…okay”
so he sails into the ocean, and discovers… more ocean. and then discovers the indies, and japan! let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and the inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent.
the hapsburgs are marrying into so many royal families, they might have to start marrying each other.
move over, lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over, timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again.
let’s make it the other kind of islam. the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy.
hey, christians! do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell!
“that’s bullshit. this whole thing is bullshit. that’s a scam. fuck the church. here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his new book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
“you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman wearing an onion hat. “what if the ottoman empire was… really big?” which it is now.
“what if russia was big?” said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade. and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt, and all the hipsters moved to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam. “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.”
question one: can you get to india from north america? no, but at least there’s beaver.
question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
and sugar… guess where all of the sugar is made? in brazil! stolen! in the caribbean! and it’s so goddamn profitable, you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world. more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven-year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did! it’s britain.
guess who’s broke? also britain! so they start taxing the hell out of america. “fuck you!” says america, declaring their independence and fighting for it, and france helps them win. now france is broke, and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
“let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s heads off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a rel— no, don’t.
haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?”
wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back!luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains. and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
“hey, china!” said britain. “buy stuff from us!” “nah, dude, we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked, actually. but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop the other person from conquering afghanistan.
also, the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now:“that’s just where he lives.”
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before.
incoming telegram: HI I JUST SENT YOU A MESSAGE THRU A WIRE
technology is about to go crazy!
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. it’s bad, they decided, and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
“i know! let’s rape africa!” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia…
britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand…
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more:
hawaii!
cuba!
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on spain?
u.s.s. maine sinks
“let’s blame the maine on spain.”
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we’re in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go…
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and is controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns! it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike, and the workers overthrew the government. now, everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism in the soviet union…
the arabs revolt and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind.
“let’s cut the cake!” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore-empire.
except turkey! turkey makes a brand new turkey!
and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do.
phone rings
hello? yes, it’s the 1920’s calling. let’s get to a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy is great and it will probably be great forever. just kidding.
germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model, and he’s mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited, they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it.
hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all of the jews is a bad idea. but he kills himself because they could explain it to him. that’s world war two!
bonus round! pacific showdown
united states vs. japan
FIGHT!!
united states drops two extinction balls on japan
FINISH HIM!
let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace! seems legit.
“hi, im gandhi, and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india, i’m going to starve myself in public.”
britain leaves
“wow, that worked?”
bonus! now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans, one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me!” they both said at the same time. let’s divide up the lands so we’re both happy. SIKE! they both get angrier!
look out, china! there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china…?
there’s the korean war. korea versus korea! nobody wins, then its on pause forever.
let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which one is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. FIGHT!! wait, no, that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
“i’ll race you to space.”
united states plants a flag on the moon
now let’s make more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, and the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let’s check the world population!
woah. okay.
technology is better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money. except britain, because they don’t feel like it.
let’s check the mail… surprise! it’s on the computer!
whoops, someone just attacked america. i bet they’ll remember that.
phone call! surprise! it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise! it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket!
whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to.
surprise!… flying robots. with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic!
“let’s save the planet!” said everybody, not knowing how.
“let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?
thanks for watching history
i hope i mentioned everything
psychic: what the fuck

Me, writing a philosophical literature essay at 3am: 

A long time ago, actually never, and also (now). Nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn’t happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That’s why it’s been everywhere. It’s been so everywhere you don’t even need a where. You don’t even need a when. That’s how every it gets. Forget this. I wanna be something. Go somewhere. Do something. I want things to change. I want to invent time and space. And I know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. I just don’t know when to start. 

jenny💁darling💕you’re my best friend👯but theres a few things you dont know of❔👀why i borrow your lipstick💋so often im using your shirt👚as a pillow case🛏️i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜 jenny💁darling💕you’re my best friend👯ive been doing bad👎things you dont know🤔about stealing your stuff💄👡💅now and then nothing youd miss but it means the world to me💖 i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜jenny💁take my hand🖐️we are more than friends👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩i will follow👣you until the end  jenny💁take my hand🖐️i cannot pretend🤡why i never like your new boyfriends👫oh your love for them wont last long😜forget those amigos🧔 oh your love for them wont last long😜forget those amigos🧑forget those amigos👨‍🌾🧔👦👫 i wanna ruin👊our friendship👯we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead i dont know🤔how to say🗣️this cause you’re really my dearest friend💜 oh your love for them wont last long😜( we should be lovers👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩instead) oh your love for them wont last long😜 (cause you’re really my dearest friend💜) jenny💁…….