i never ever want to come home

And maybe
the most terrible—
yet the bravest thing
I’ve ever done,
was to continue walking
no matter how slow
my feet move,
no matter
how many times
I took a rest
and sat on the ground—
to stand up
and travel
this tough road
of mine,
when all I ever wanted
was to come back
to that wonderful moment
when things
never seem
to be wrong,
when things never hurt
so much—
and when everything
seems perfectly fine.
—  ma.c.a // Long Way Home
3

So this handsome fellow is Peter Doyle, longtime partner of the great American poet Walt Whitman. He is often viewed as an enigmatic figure, but what we do know about him tells us that he was quite remarkable in his own right.

Pete was born in Limerick, Ireland, and came to the United States with his family when he was eight years old. After the death of his father, he worked hard to support his widowed mother and siblings. One of his brothers, Francis, became a police officer in Washington DC, where the family lived. Francis ended up fighting for the Union during the Civil War, while Pete served in the Confederate Army. He saw serious action and was wounded, discharged from the army, and promptly arrested when he attempted to go back to DC. He managed to get off the hook by claiming that, as an Irish immigrant, he really didn’t care one way or the other about Union versus Confederacy. True or not, this worked, and he was freed.

It was at this point that Pete took a job as a horsecar conductor. In the nearly empty streetcar, on a stormy night in early 1865, Pete met Walt Whitman. Pete as 21 at the time, while Walt was 45. According to the younger man, it was pretty much love at first sight. “We understood,” Pete said. Walt was the only passenger on the streetcar, and he didn’t get off at his planned stop. Instead, he rode with Pete until the end of the route, at which point the two men spent their first night together.

They were inseparable for the next seven or eight years. They’d often go for long walks together, with Walt reciting poetry or passages from Shakespeare. I am 100% not making this up.

And their letters. Oh my God, their letters. Not many of Pete’s to Walt survive, but Walt’s to Pete are so full of love that they’d melt the coldest heart. A sample quote: “My darling, if you are not well when I come back I will get a good room or two in some quiet place, and we will live together and devote ourselves altogether to the job of curing you, and making you stronger and healthier than ever. I have had this in my mind before but never broached it to you.”

As this excerpt implies, Walt very much wanted to make a home with his young partner. Sadly, this would never be possible. Pete, as the oldest unmarried son, saw it as his duty to provide for his mother and siblings. They – and the society in which they lived – had certain expectations. While Walt was on good terms with Pete’s family, getting them to accept wholeheartedly this same-sex relationship was an entirely different matter. The two men had to do with spending nights together.

Pete was definitely a tremendously positive influence on Walt and his work. He persuaded Walt to delete three poems dealing with themes of despair and unrequited love from the 1867 edition of Leaves of Grass. He may have also influenced one of his partner’s best-known works, “O Captain! My Captain!” The tone deals with the death of Abraham Lincoln and the end of the Civil War. It is unusual amongst Whitman’s works because it is rhymed, rather than written in free verse. Walt noted that Pete had quite the rhyming ability, often rattling off charming limericks. Also, some have argued that the metaphor of the ship on the rough sea is a kind of nod to Pete’s immigrant background.

The young immigrant was also an eyewitness to the greatest tragedy of the day. He was in the balcony of Ford’s theater on the night of April 14, 1865, when Lincoln was assassinated. He recounted hearing the shot, and then seeing Booth leap onto the stage. Later, Walt drew on this account as a source of information for his annual Lincoln lectures. And he wouldn’t have heard any of it, if it weren’t for his boyfriend!

Walt suffered a stroke in 1873, and moved to Camden, New Jersey, to live with his brother. He ended staying there until his death in 1892. Pete was unable to find work in Camden, though he did eventually get a job in Philadelphia. They saw each other only sporadically, and at one point Walt had gone so long without hearing from Pete that he thought the younger man had died. He hadn’t, but he was put off by the presence of a housekeeper and other caretakers in his partner’s house. He stayed away, for fear of rousing suspicion as to the true nature of the relationship. After Walt’s death, Pete expressed regret for his hesitation.

In 1897, Pete allowed Richard Maurice Bucke (Walt’s literary executor) to publish the letters written by Walt to Pete. The result was a book called Calamus. No one who read it would have any doubts as to the nature of the love between these two men. It made Pete the black sheep of his Catholic family, and his sister forbade the reading of the book in her house. I think we have to give the man some serious props here. It had to take a hell of a lot of courage to let something like that hit the presses in the 19th century. Maybe he was proud of himself, his partner, and their relationship, and saw no shame or sinfulness in any of it. I sincerely hope that this was the case, and that there was an element of defiance of social and religious norms that went into the publication of Calamus.

Pete remained a member of the “inner circle” of Whitman devotees until his own death in 1907. He is buried in DC’s Congressional Cemetery. His grave marker is a short walk from that of Leonard Matlovich, which famously reads, “they gave me a medal for killing two men, and a discharge for loving one.” Nowadays, Peter Doyle is usually included on history tours of the cemetery which focus on LGBT figures.

Excellent work has been done by Whitman scholars in order to rescue Pete from the shadows of history. We are beginning to understand just how much he influenced Walt, and what a fascinating man he is. “Pete the Great,” as he liked to call himself, is an enigma no more.

And now, to finish off this already very long post, a quick guide to the photos:

Top: Pete aged about 25 years, taken in 1868. Cool hat.

Middle: Pete aged 57, taken circa 1900. Cool mustache.

Bottom: Pete and Walt, circa 1868, ridiculously in love. This might be my favorite historical photograph of all time.

` ° • ✧ TANGLED SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ Call it what you will… fate… destiny… ’
’ You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose. ’
’ Really let that seep in. ’
’ What are you getting? ’
’ Your thoughts? ’
’ I don’t know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. ’
’ I could get used to a view like this. ’
’ Yep, I’m used to it. Guys I want a castle. ’
’ Great. Now I’m the bad guy. ’
’ Look in that mirror. ’
’ I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady. ’
’ Oh look, you’re here too. ’
’ Skip the drama, stay with Mama! ’
’ This is the story of how I died. ’
’ Don’t worry, this is actually a very fun story and the truth is, it isn’t even mine. ’
’ Oh… oh no… where is my satchel? ’
’ I’ve hidden it. Somewhere you’ll never find it. ’
’ It’s in that pot, isn’t it? ’
’ I’m just teasing! ’
’ How you manage to do that every single day without fail! ’
’ It looks absolutely exhausting, darling! ’
’ Then I don’t know why it takes so long. ’
’ Oh, it’s nothing. ’
’ Who are you, and how did you find me? ’
’ I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you. ’
’ May I just say… Hi. How ya doin’? ’
’ You were my new dream. ’
’ You should know that this is the strangest thing I’ve ever done! ’
’ Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn’t like me! ’
’ How ‘bout best two out of three? ’
’ Who’s that? ’
’ They don’t like me. ’
’ Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, ______? ’
’ Go. Live your dream. ’
’ Your dream stinks. I was talking to her. ’
’ I was saying tomorrow is a really big day, and you didn’t really respond. ’
’ I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year. ’
’ No no no, can’t be. ’
’ That’s the funny thing about birthdays, they’re kind of an annual thing. ’
’ You know how I feel about the mumbling. ’
’ Blah blah blah blah blah, it’s very annoying! ’
’ I’m just teasing, you’re adorable. ’
’ I love you so much, darling. ’
’ Let me just get this straight. ’
’ I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you’ll give me back my satchel? ’
’ When I promise something, I never ever break that promise. ’
’ I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. ’
’ This is kind of an off-day for me. This doesn’t normally happen. ’
’ Fine! I’ll take you to see the lanterns. ’
’ You broke my smolder. ’
’ Here comes the smolder. ’
’ This is bad, this is very very bad, this is really bad… ’
’ They just can’t get my nose right! ’
’ Who cares? ’
’ Well, it’s easy for you to say… ’
’ The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I don’t remember most of it. ’
’ I’ve been dreaming about them my entire life! ’
’ Haven’t any of you ever had a dream? ’
’ What’s your dream? ’
’ Sorry, boys. I don’t sing. ’
’ Well, I hope you’re here to apologize. ’
’ I have something for you too. ’
’ I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. ’
’ And the thing is, I’m not scared anymore. ’
’ You know what I mean? ’
’ All right, okay, give me a boost, and I’ll pull you up. ’
’ I just… I can’t believe that after all we’ve been through together, you don’t… trust me? ’
’ Sorry… my hands are full. ’
’ I’ve been looking out of a window for eighteen years. ’
’ And what if it is? What do I do then? ’
’ What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be? ’
’ Well, that’s the good part I guess. ’
’ You get to go find a new dream. ’
’ That’s a lot of hair. ’
’ Oh, now they’re just being mean. ’
’ I can’t believe I did this! ’
’ I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, right? ’
’ I have made the decision to trust you. ’
’ So, what do you want with my hair? To cut it? ’
’ Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it… ’
’ I have a big surprise! ’
’ Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for brunettes? ’
’ Is it ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for me? ’
’ Stay calm. It can probably smell fear. ’
’ You should see your faces because you look - ’
’ I didn’t see that coming. ’
’ But I know what the big question is? ’
’ So! Hey can I ask you something? ’
’ Because I’m not gonna lie, that would be stupendous… ’
’ Is there any chance that I’m going to get super strength in my hand? ’
’ Oh. Sorry yes, just… lost in thought I guess. ’
’ Whoaaaa! Somebody get me a glass! ’
’ Frying pans… who knew, right? ’
’ Sorry! Just, don’t… don’t freak out. ’
’ Is that blood in your mustache? ’
’ Look at all the blood in his mustache! ’
’ I can’t help but notice you seem a little at war with yourself here. ’
’ Now, I’m only picking up bits and pieces here, of course. ’
’ A little rebellion, a little adventure, that’s good. Healthy, even. ’
’ I mean, this is serious stuff. ’
’ But let me ease your conscience. This is part of growing up. ’
’ You’re way over thinking this, trust me. ’
’ I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m letting you out of the deal. ’
’ What is it going to take for me to get my satchel back? ’
’ You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? ’
’ Well, I’ve gotta say, I didn’t know you had that in you back there. ’
’ Now, I know I’m not supposed to mention the hair. ’
’ Frankly, I’m too scared to ask about the frog. ’
’ If you want to see the lanterns so badly, why haven’t you gone before? ’
’ Why would you ask such a ridiculous question? ’
’ I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power… ’
’ That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes. ’
’ Hmm. I have magic hair that glows when I sing. ’

little things you may have forgotten about aristotle and dante

  • ari hates cokes
  • dante said that only good looking models get paid and ari got embarrassed asdfghjkl
  • the first thing that ari remembers after the surgery is dante
  • ari doesn’t know Any beatles songs
  • ari’s long hair and how he likes it (because dante has long hair)

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Reaction to one of his men trying to force themselves on you

“ BTS mafia reaction to your being physically hurted by one of his men (not bts boys just like one of his bodyguards) on purpose? Like his men was trying to force you to kiss him or smth. “

Trigger warning

Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by fawnave

“If you dare to approach her ever again,  I’ll make sure you and your whole family will never see the light of day”
He took you hand and started walking while whispering in your ear “And you’re never leaving my side again.”


Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by my-shining-star

“I think you already know you are a dead man, don’t you?“ The man trying to kiss you froze. And slowly turned around, to a furious Namjoon. You could practically see rage rippling off of him. “I- I’m sorry s-sir. I didn-didn’t know s-she was your lover”. “Ah, trying to lie your way out of this? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your death will be as painful as possible.” 


Min Yoongi 

Originally posted by sugaglos

You struggled as you tried to pry the brute off of you. “Cmon, stop being so feisty. I know you wa-” his speech was cut off by what sounded like a gun shot and a scream erupting from his throat as he clutched his leg. You looked up to see Yoongi, eyes burning with fury and gun twirling in his hand. “Next time, I’ll kill you on the spot.”


Jung Hoseok

Originally posted by jjilljj

“Aah, you think you can be so disrespectful with my jagi? Tsk, Tsk.  I thought you had better manners. I’ll give you two seconds to vanish and if I ever catch you near her again-


Park Jimin

"You know, you are quite brave. Thinking you can touch my girl and get away with it. I guess I’ll have to show you what happens to traitors.” Sure enough, no one ever saw him again.


Kim Taehyung

He would stare from afar, wanting to see your reaction. But after you pushed the guy away and he still didn’t get the message, he would come up to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you behind him. ”Joke’s over. Try that again and you’ll wish you were never born.”


Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by purelyjimin

As soon as he saw that moron trying to force himself on you, he would punch the living daylights out of him, leaving him unconscious on the ground. “That should teach him a lesson. Now, let’s go home. I don’t want you around these idiots any longer.”



-Admin Light

Back

“Why can’t I come with you?”

That question had been resonating in Harry’s mind for the past 12 hours and, despite having very logical reasoning behind it, he was finding it increasingly hard not to break down and buy two more plane tickets. His daughter was very good at persuasion, especially when she was upset, and every cry that came from her lips lessened Harry’s resolve immensely.

But, you both had decided that this particular trip was going to be one that you and your daughter sat out of. Harry was only going to be gone for four days and the weather forecast for New York wasn’t great; it was just as easy for you to keep yourself and your daughter at home in London while Harry made the trek, instead of having to lug both yourselves and tons of extra warm clothing in case you got stuck there for a few extra days.

Every other trip that Harry had made in the four years since your daughter had been born, he had made with the two of you in tow; his schedule was flexible and sparse enough that adding two extra bodies on a week long trip to LA wasn’t a big deal. When he had gone on tour for six months, he had brought you with him; there was no way he was going away that long and leaving the two loves in his life at home. Your daughter was now used to being a little jetsetter with daddy and felt quite special whenever she got to fly in a plane and get “important” orange juice from the flight attendant in a big-girl cup. You weren’t sure exactly what her reaction would be in learning that she would be left behind with you on this trip, but you figured it wouldn’t be good.

You opted to keep the news under wraps until as close to Harry’s departure time as you could, just to avoid long, drawn out meltdowns if that were the case. The afternoon before, you and Harry sat down with her when she was in a good mood (fed, not in need of a nap and happily playing with toys) and told her that daddy was going to have to go away for a few days, but that she would have to stay home with you. Her face immediately dropped in confusion; this was unheard of, why would daddy be going away without her? You ALWAYS went with him when he travelled.

“Why can’t I come with you?” she pouted.

“Daddy’s only going for a few days and it’s going to be cold there,” he tried to explain, “You and mummy wouldn’t have any fun.”

“But I want to come!”

“I know you do, love, but I promise you’ll be so much happier staying here. You wouldn’t see daddy lots anyway; he’s got a lot of boring meetings to go to with Uncle Jeff,” Harry explained, crinkling his nose.

“If it’s boring, why don’t you stay here with me and mummy and Uncle Jeff can go by himself?” she argued.

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Paris

Prompt: Hey can you write something fluffy with Bucky? His fiancé is starting to have doubts about things between them cause she’s just a normal girl that works in retail? She thinks he deserves better like Natasha or a shield agent. But he reassures her and gets Natasha’s help doing something cute for her?

Word count: 2975

A/N: Fluffy relationship Bucky is my favorite Bucky xx I’m hoping to get more up soon!!

Originally posted by little--batman

You’d met Bucky a year ago in the small cafe you worked in, the same one you’d worked at since you were sixteen and you had no reason not to love your job. You loved talking to the regulars, people whose orders you had memorized and had ready the second they walked in. You loved meeting people from all walks of life; wealthy business owners constantly on the phone debating their next deal, tired mothers who just needed a caffeine fix to get through the day, broke college students looking for a cheap food option between the expensive restaurants that New York city offered. 

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discordeddovahpony  asked:

Lol, I see that you're a big DBZ fan

You have no idea….

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again There are many anime shows out there that I say have waaayyy better stories (FMA brotherhood, Attack on Titan, Cowboy Bebop, etc) than DBZ but it all comes down to this. As a kid I was severly picked on by buff kids because I was a chubby anime fanboy. they would make fun of my dbz shirts and say I would never look like them and then they slapped me around trying to test me, Beat me up, and just made fun of me. I’d come home and feel so horrible but then I would watch Toonami and DBZ and seeing a character like Goku who was buff and strong but so kind and treat everyone he was stronger than with respect and as equals really touched me. I wanted to be just like him so I said if I ever got strong and buff I’d be just like him. Basically DBZ was there when i needed it . when i was just so depressed and I will always love it over any other anime I see just for that. I will love this show until my soul travels on.

And the fact there is a new Series coming out had me like 

It helped my Youtube as well haha https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFBBFuhQc275ISHIQnkzSZg

Finding Home

Summary:  After Cas is rejected by his homophobic parents, his roommate Dean invites him to stay for the holidays with him and his family.  He never expected it to turn into this.


“They don’t want me anymore.” 

Dean blinks in surprise, looking up to see his freshman roommate standing in the doorway, antiquated cellphone in his hands.  To his surprise, the kid looks to be on the verge of crying, which is strange – Dean’s joked with his friends about how emotionless Cas appears to be.  Or rather, had appeared to be, up till now. 

“Cas, you alright there, buddy?”  Dean asks, chair screeching as he pulls away from his desk.  He’d been trying to finish his research paper for his physiology class, but whatever Cas’s problem is seems to be more pressing. 

“They don’t want me,” Cas repeats, swallowing wetly.  “My parents.  They say don’t want me to come home for Christmas break, and they don’t want me contacting my siblings anymore.” 

Dean blinks comprehensively.  “What?  Why the hell not?” 

“They, ‘still love me,’” Cas snuffles, rubbing his nose with the sleeve of his ever-present beige trench coat with one arm and making quotey fingers with the other.  “But they ‘don’t approve of my lifestyle.’”  

Oh.  Oh, so that’s what this is about.  

Dean hasn’t known Cas for all that long, and he doesn’t know a whole lot about him:  just that he’s a bio major with plans to become a doctor (Dean himself is going into nursing), he’s cute (though he’d never, ever tell Cas that), not a little weird, and yeah, if the time he’d come home to find him making out with Crowley (the poncy British upperclassman from accounting who Dean already loathes with a passion) he is into guys.

His parents must not have been cool with it. 

Keep reading

Made of skin and bones

Originally posted by dalekhane

(not my gifs!)

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics

Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?

Tags: @i-want-to-fuck-that-dorito-man @38leticia @jasura @melconnor2007 @hollycornish @saharzek @rda1989 @magellan-88 @madoxx3 @bexboo616 @missinstantgratification @i-had-a-life-once @fourtyninekirbygamzeegirl @cassandras-musings @drakkatz @sophia-wyszkowski @omega-spanglass @gingerbatchwife @chaoticlogics @cry-me-a-fkin-river @tastefulcaring @buckys-shield @melanin–senpai @magical-otaku-panda @xkaciesearlex @mariadrinaa @table-108 @fashun–deevah @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @eternal-queen @hislipbite @38leticia @void–life @myst-muse @paranoid-borderline-insane @puddinsgal @xxe-mi-lyxx @iamwarrenspeace @katalina-from-hellbound 


1.Wolves

2. Chess

- M-me…?

A chorus of scoffs and gasps from the other girls echoes though the walls making you feel minuscule and ashamed, but Bucky doesn’t even blink giving you a nearly imperceptible nod. 

- Thank you everyone for coming - his potent voice fire all the other women in the room without breaking eye contact with you - the meeting is over

Soon the room gets filled with scoffs of indignation and suffocated curses of the rejected women and you want the ground to swallow you whole.

- Follow me - he says before turning his back to you and giving to his guards a signal that you suppose it’s for them to make sure that you don’t jump over a window. 

- Wan… - you search confort in your sister opening and closing your mouth without utterly understanding what’s happening. She is still looking at you wide eyed but she quickly shakes her head and push you towards the guards

- Go Y/N, go - she whispers - I’ll come to visit you, I promise

- No, no,no… Wanda I don’t… 

- Miss, please, follow us - one of the guards places gently his hand on your shoulder as a subtle order.

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Happy Mother's Day

“Dear Mama.
It’s likely you’ll never get this, but if a message in a bottle can make its way home across the ocean then why can’t a signal across galaxies?
I wonder how long I’ve been gone…
Weeks?
Months?
Maybe even years?
I wonder what they told you?
That I was missing or that I was dead.
I hope you didn’t cry mama.
I don’t deserve you to cry for me, but I know you will.
Like I cry for you.
I suppose I always have been a mamas boy, but nothing wrong with that, after all I have the best mama in all of existence…
Sorry I could t be there to say that in person for you.
Like I did every other year but this one for Mother’s Day.
I’m sorry that I missed your special day.
I’m sorry that you cried for me.
I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be getting home in time for your birthday…
Or Christmas…
Or maybe even ever.
I don’t know if this message will ever actually make it home, but I hope it does even if I don’t because you have to know mama that your little screw up helped save the universe.
Not bad for someone who’s teachers said he would never amount to anything.
…I guess I don’t have anything else I can say. There’s just so much I want to talk to you about, all the amazing places I’ve seen and people I’ve met.
I hope I can come home just so I can make you proud.
Happy Mother’s Day, mama.
Love Lance.”
Mrs McClain chocked hearing her son for the first time in years, as she looked up at the man dressed in red holding the device that played her sons message.
“I love you too my baby.” She whispered before collapsing to her knees knowing now that her son may be gone but he had lived as a hero.
She only wished she could of held him one more time and told him that she was proud of him.
That he was her hero.

Trans Joker Rambles (because I'm self indulgent)

- J used to bind with tape or bandages because whilst he’s one fancy motherfucker he really has no sense of self preservation and has way too much pride to steal some binders and have people find out he’s trans

- He does, however, get Harley to loot drugstores for painkillers and period products, and shark week is the only time that Harls is allowed to look after him (J gets real bad cramps and sickness and shit when he’s on his period)

- Bruce finds out long before they start dating; Batman bursts into the Jokers hideout, ready to arrest the clown, and is thoroughly confused to find his arch nemesis curled up on a warm armchair, crying and whimpering. At first Batsy thinks joker is ill, but J can’t help but make the empty threat of “I started my day in a pool of my own blood, is that how you’d like to end yours?” And everything sort of clicks in place for Bruce

- J is kinda scared because Fuck, now batsy knows and if he already had slim chances of his enemy ever respecting him, then now he had no chance whatsoever

- as much as Bruce hates joker (well he should anyway, but he can never manage to want the clown gone forever) he’s not a total dick. He decides to let J off for a week, and a couple days later Harley comes home with a package containing two binders and a tub of painkillers, claiming Nightwing had awkwardly handed them to her in the Narrows

- Once Bruce and J start dating (I really need to come up with a backstory for their relationship tbh) Bruce pays for his boyfriends T and binders, and later his surgery too. At first J felt a little annoyed that he’d never managed to pay for these things himself, but it wears off after he gets top surgery and walks around the manor shirtless for weeks until Alfred reminds him it’s winter

- J getting emotional when everyone in the batfam is accepting of him (gender wise anyway, not so much about the “murderous clown dating Bruce” thing)

- Joker being trans but that not meaning he can’t be feminine or wear dresses

- Joker being trans and still smashing the gender binary

- Joker being trans and Bruce still loving him completely and cutting off anyone who claims J isn’t a real man

i want to run away. it’s not that i hate this place, or that something particularly horrible has happened. i feel the never ending need to go and run and see new things and breathe different air. i feel the need to go somewhere where i know nothing and learn absolutely everything about it until it could be my hometown.

i want to go start over and find new friends and new family. maybe, sometime after all that, i’ll come back here. maybe i’ll apologize for leaving so abruptly without any goodbyes, and maybe i’ll find my old friends and we’ll catch up.

but, in all honesty, if i leave, that’s it. even the people that would miss me will slowly move on and will probably hate me for leaving without a word. this place wouldn’t be the same when or if i ever chose to come back. it would never feel like “home” again.

but maybe that’s okay.

Moving Business? Mafia!au

Originally posted by toughchim

(gif is so big my lord)

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Genre: Mafia!au 

Summary: Only a few days after proposing to you, you finally find out what Taehyung’s real job was all along after going into his private office.

(Credit to original owner of gif)

Part (1) (2) (3)

You hadn’t meant to see the files, you were passing by his office when you his dirty dishes, he wasn’t home and you were now engaged you doubted he would care if you went in for a few seconds to clean up a wee bit. You had grabbed the glasses and plates off his desk and as you picked up the last plate and adding it to the small stack resting in one hand you saw the file with someones picture crossed out with a black sharpie.

You were confused and curious, Taehyung and you had been together for a while by this point and the most you knew was he was apart of some sort of moving business, the last time you had asked too much he got quite upset and then calmed down and asked you to never ask about it. You had even met a few of his colleagues who all seemed nice enough. However this file that was now just sitting here made you wonder. You did as you originally planned and put all the dishes in the kitchen and moved back into Taehyung’s office, you didn’t normally pry but he knew nearly everything about you but as you stood reading the file you truly realized how little you knew about the man you were going to marry.

Keep reading

They always say “that that’s the way it is” and “you’ll get over it”.
Maybe you will get over it, maybe you’ll get over my absence…but will I get over yours?


You were everything to me, my best friend, my diary, my safe place.

The person I could run to and suddenly the miserable day I had wouldn’t matter because we’d be singing together so loudly that I couldn’t even hear my thoughts… I skip the songs now.

The 3am phone call when I couldn’t sleep and my thoughts were filling my lungs like a flood travelling up into my throat,almost like I could vomit them straight back up again every time I tried to swallow and suppress them…now the only comfort I find is my tear stained pillow.

The continuous laughter from a joke 10 minutes ago that wasn’t even mildly funny but we thought that it was hilarious…sighs replace our giggles now.

The smile across the room when something made me nervous and I’d look at you, you’d reassure me with that smile…you don’t look at me anymore.

The eye contact when someone asked if I was okay and I muttered I’m fine under my breath, because you didn’t need to ask and I didn’t need to say…it’s been months of “I’m fine.”,I stare at the ground now.

The sleepovers when that morning I didn’t even want to leave my bed, the inside jokes that made me laugh when I didn’t even want to smile,the plans for the future we made when I didn’t even see one for myself. Because you felt like home, you were my best friend.

You were my happiness.

But what was I to you?

Stepping stones.

Something you walked over as you stood above me,used so you could get over your obstacles and reach the side where the grass is always greener.

I didn’t mind helping you along though, but then you walked on the stepping stones to the side that had more to offer, the side that offered alcohol for you to drink, boys for you to love, and better people for you to trust and laugh with,

I don’t blame you though, but you never came back.

You left me stuck in the middle, the water got deeper and deeper and it was surrounding me and no matter how strong I stood it kept washing over me leaving me gasping for air and choking on the water,along with the lies you fed me.

But here you were laughing, creating new memories with thousands of others while I was left in the ocean with no one else but myself.

I don’t know if I can forgive you. I miss you quite terribly but my stepping stone days are done because I have now realised that nobody will ever deserve to feel like they’re not worthy of love.

But when you get tired and the grass loses its vibrant colour and starts to rot and you want to just come home, it’s too late because there will be no access to the side that was never good enough for you.

Because when you burn bridges you may rebuild them after a lot of work and effort. But you can never rebuild stepping stones.
—  I miss you quite terribly.
IF THE P5 BOYOS HAD SIBS: TURBO EDITION*

*this is the only edition

ryuji would be the best oniichan fite me irl if u disagree

  • seriously like???? he cares so much and he’d be SO PROTECTIVE
  • hey remember when ann showed up in the metaverse and his thought process wasn’t “man this chick is gonna slow us down and be annoying” but instead it was “ann could get really hurt if she came with us i don’t want her getting dragged into this”
  • THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN BOUT, BOYEE
  • like remember how his dad was abusive remember that he would totally FITE HIS DAD FOR THIS SIB, you know it
  • if it was a little sister i would literally die, rip me, because u know he would dote on her so much.
  • “hey [xxx]-chan, let’s go to the park!! of course you can wear your loveline costume!! don’t forget the lettuce i bought to feed the ducks!!!”
  • (psa, do not feed ducks bread. give them things like corn or lettuce or birdseed.)
  • he’d do like tea parties with her and let her put bows in his hair and paint his nails and he’d be like “WOW YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB WOW MY NAILS LOOK SO GOOD” and he’d go to school with them the next day, dress code be damned
  • “akira look what my sis did for me!!” “wow she did a good job.” “I KNOW RIGHT”
  • and they’d play dressup and stuff like that and he’d be the dragon she slays or the demon that guards the treasure and each and every time she overcame some kind of obstacle he set up he’d be like “ur the smartest kid on the planet why didn’t i think of that solution, truly u r the True Genius of this family”
  • but even if it was a little bro COULD U IMAGINE
  • he could idolize him and be like “ONIICHAN UR THE GREATEST” and they’d go on runs together and play tag through the house and accidentally break things and mom would get mad but ryuji would always take the blame
  • or he could think he’s The Most Annoying™ and fight back against the attention with exasperated sighs and eye rolls and “moooom ryuji won’t put me down!!”
  • ryuji is best big bro

akira would also probably be a big bro

  • i kinda think his parents are The Literal Worst™ (reblog if u agree)
  • so if he had a sib it would probably be a younger one they had by accident
  • (so like i kind of think akira was born because someone’s parents really wanted grandchildren but now all the grandparents are dead and everything is sad)
  • so lil bro or sis would prob be ignored and shunted to the side by The Asshole Parents™
  • which basically leaves it to akira to take care of them
  • akira is like, the stern but cool older brother who is like “no we are not having cookies for dinner BUT if you do well on your math test we can bake some this weekend” or “i heard you got in a fight at school. i don’t care who started it, so just tell me this: did you win?”
  • lil sib probably looks up to him way more than they can express or he can understand. growing up with parents who basically just don’t care about you makes you super appreciative of any kind of affection or praise so they’d have a super close relationship
  • would be D E V A S T A T E D by his having to move away after the Incident
  • wow look an actual legit canon reason for akira to go home at the end of the game instead of “just because he gotta”
  • (he don’t gotta. y u do this atlus)

yusuke the biological only child (who gets adopted??)

  • ok so hear me out
  • wait hold on–did we ever learn about yusuke’s dad?? i literally can’t remember so i’m just gonna say: probably dead
  • ANYWAY SO HEAR ME OUT
  • yusuke’s mom probably didn’t have time to have any other kids before she kicked it (sry mrs kitagawa) BUT
  • i think the students of madarame were closer than the game prolly had time to get into?? like the guy whose heart u change in mementos asks you to go back and save yusuke and i just feel like there had to be some STRONG BONDS there
  • all i’m saying is there was an older student ok like 2-6 years older than him who loved him like a brother bc c’mon he’s a little out there but HOW COULD U NOT boy is sweet as the candy he drops way too much yen on.
  • probably had to remind him to eat and shit like that while they were with madarame like “dude u can’t live on paint fumes PLEASE EAT FOOD PLEASE”
  • also had no social skills so could not coach him on social skills
  • hated to leave him but couldn’t stay for their own mental health and always regretted leaving him behind
  • so yeah probably later after the game they reached out to him
  • and just kind of informally adopted him as their lil bro like “you’re mine now, i’m going to protect you and buy you food”

akechi the foster brother

  • so here’s the deal with akechi
  • he knows what it’s like to be in the system and bounce around and have no one who cares or listens or wants you there and it just. it’s hard and terrible and no one deserves to feel that way ever.
  • so he decides he’s going to be big bro to literally every difficult foster kid he ever comes across.
  • getting bullied? guess it’s time to come home with me where i will tell you that you are absolutely the best and what the bullies say doesn’t matter ever and you will never ever know this but i’m gonna fuck up that kid’s future times 10000%
  • moody and combative? c’mon, you can have your own room and lock the door on me all you want and i’ll sit outside in the hall for four hours to teach you that no, i’m not going to give up on you and you are worth the time and effort because you matter so much.
  • really timid and scared of everything? it’s okay, we’re going somewere safe and i will let you hide wherever you want, even if you scare the living daylights out of me when i reach under the sink for the dishsoap and i see you curled up in there. you can crawl in my bed when you have a nightmare absolutely, i’m not going to kick you out and i’m not going to hurt you
  • BASICALLY HE’D JUST BE THE SUPPORT THEY NEED BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT IT AND IT WOULD BE MAGICAL
  • M A G I C A L
  • u can’t tell me he wouldn’t care so much about foster kids
  • u just can’t it’s illegal

mishima gotta be someone’s lil bro

  • lol this boy like
  • he has to have an older sib, there’s no question about it
  • boye just too insecure to be big bro to someone else, he’d suck at it
  • which, yknow, would actually be really funny but i was kind of going for canon-plausible (SHUT UP I KNOW) and reasonably healthy relationships
  • so what i kind of imagined here was like, an older sister who’s kind of critical of him but damn she tries to be there for him because their parents are certainly not
  • she tells him under no uncertain terms that he NEEDS to quit the volleyball team because this is not safe or right in any degree and you know it yuuki
  • (he did know it yuuki but she also told him he needs to stop giving up on things so easily and he just?? didn’t want to give up?? if he could hold on just a little longer maybe it would get better)
  • she’ll clean his cuts and be like “ok whatever you say yuuki, you know what’s best for you”
  • but he totally doesn’t
  • i just want him to have someone who supports and loves him because obviously he’s not getting that from his parents and he NEEDS LOVE AND GUIDANCE PLEASE

so uh yeah that’s it for now. if you want more like this send me a request and i’ll get on it!

{Reaction} Mafia!EXO finding out out that you're getting bullied in university

Hey I requested a EXO mafia au reaction where the reader gets picked on by a group of people at the readers school and EXO defends her, just wondering if you received it or not? Doesn’t matter if you haven’t, but now that requests are open again can I re-request that please? Love your work btw xx

Note: I loved your request so much oml, I literally live for mafia!exo au you have no idea hehe! I’m not sure if you (or anyone else reading) has seen my other mafia content, if not, you can find it here on my exo masterlist! Enjoy~

Main Masterlist - EXO Masterlist

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/ images used. 

  • Warning: Use of mafia themes. This includes swearing and (as indicated by the title) bullying. Read at your own risk. 

Park Chanyeol

Originally posted by lullabyun

Chanyeol’s jaw clenched as you sheepishly told him that you’d been getting a hard time from someone in your university course. Despite the anger lighting in his stomach, he placed a false sense of calmness on his face as he hugged you, but as his arms wrapped around your small frame, his mind started planning instantly. When he finally came to confronting the person that dared to bully you, he had the most intimidating gear strapped to him and his short, terrifying friend Do Kyungsoo and infamous martial arts master friend Tao at his side. He waited at the university gates until the bully turned the corner and stepped out, making sure to leave a lasting impression that would make sure that this person would never even attempt to hurt you ever again.

Chanyeol: “I heard you’ve been hurting my Jagi. I suggest you stop, because if you don’t… well, let’s just say you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

Bully: “Y-yes sir…” *scurries away.*

Chanyeol: “Ah, That should keep them away from {y/n}.”


Do Kyungsoo/ D.O.

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

Kyungsoo was not impressed when he found out that you’d been getting bullied. He found it astounding that anyone could attempt to hurt you at all so he took serious action. Unlike Chanyeol, he took the time to research this person that had been giving you grief to use against them before making his move. He told you that he would sort the issue, and promised that he wouldn’t get any blood on his hands after you begged him not to do anything futile. He met the bully in a dark, deserted alleyway and let his dark, terrifying eyes do most of the threatening while his words cut the bully down to zero confidence.

Kyungsoo: “I love {y/n}, you see, I know you have a partner to, how would you feel if I hurt them? I could, you know. I could break their arms and legs until they’re left totally helpless. Or make them blind so they could never see your disgusting face again”

Bully: “I’m sorry! I’ll never hurt {y/n} again!”

Kyungsoo: “Hurt? I don’t want to hear that you’ve been anywhere my jagi again, understand?”


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

Baekhyun tapped his fingers against the side of the car as he waited for you outside of the university to take you home for the term. Even though he it a part of the mafia, he does care deeply for you, and however intimidating and dangerous he can be against others is insignificant when it comes to you. When he’s with you, his demeanor changes completely, he’s fun, loving and sweet, and wouldn’t even dream of ever letting anything  bad in this world getting to you.

As he waited in the car, he hummed, that was until he caught you in the corner of his eye being pushed by a man that looked vaguely around your age. He instantly got out of the car, barely giving himself any time to think as he stormed over to where you timidly rose back to your feet. He clenched his fist before forcing it into the man’s face, then pulling you with him back towards the car.

Baekhyun: “Are you alright, Jagi?”

{y/n}: “I will be.”


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Sehun had been told countless times by you that he shouldn’t sacrifice being uncovered because of stupid reasons, but when he witnessed you physically being punched before you, he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing the man that dared to hurt you in such a fashion and beat him until his skin was starting to turn bloody, black and blue. He seethed in anger as he looked down at the man in anger, he was lying on the floor, blood pouring from his nose and eyes streaming with tears as he begged for mercy. He looked back at you, holding your cheek looking partly in pain and partly like you were blushing.

Sehun: “Too much?”

{y/n}: “No, he deserved it, I just feel…”

Sehun: *smirking* “Come on Jagi, let’s go home.”


Zhang Yixing/ Lay

Originally posted by lullabyun

Yixing isn’t one to make a massive scene or to create a lot of conflict when it comes to confrontation. Instead, he takes the more calm route to intimidating your bully from talking to you. He enters university one sunny afternoon to watch you in a contest against other classmates. Within the crowd of people watching, he purposefully takes the seat next to the person he knows as you bully and quietly talks, knowing that even with a in innocent smile on his face, your bully will never think of approaching you again in the near future.

Yixing: “I’m going to put this in very simple terms so you understand, since you’re clearly a being of low intelligence. Stay away from {y/n} unless you want to go to sleep one night and never wake up.”


Kim Jongdae/ Chen

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Chen is the master of manipulation and knowing how to scare people without even really having much interaction with them. When he finds out that someone at your university has been bullying you, he takes the matters into his own hands without your knowledge of it to help you from the pain and emotional strain.you never do find out what Chen does to your bully, all you know is tat after telling Chen, your bully can’t seem to come near you or even look you in the eye anymore.

{y/n}: “I don’t know what happened, they seem to have just stopped.”

Chen: “That’s what I like to hear, princess.”


Kim Minseok/ Xiumin

Originally posted by callmeminseok

Minseok seemed rather calm as you told him that someone at your university was giving you grief. He made sure to make sure that he came across as calm in front of you so that you did worry, he simply pulled you into his arms and whispered into your ear that he would sort everything and that you shouldn’t worry about the bully anymore. When it came to actually carrying his intentions out, he made his way into the university and found the bully. He waited until the bully way alone and in a deserted space before he finally made his move, pushing the bully back into the corner to hide the gun that he pointed at he man’s abdomen from any unwanted eye witnesses.

Minseok: “I’ll let you off this time, but touch my jagi again? And you won’t live to tell the tale.”


Huang Zitao/ Tao

Originally posted by lil-duckling

Your bully must be very brave to antagonize you when you have a boyfriend like Huang Zitao, the infamous martial artist with skills higher than anyone that you know. While most of the other members were low key and tried to ensure that their intentions weren’t spotted by unwanted attention, Tao went about this in quite a different way. He met your bully, and even though your bully was surrounded by a large group of people, Tao still went for him and knocked him out cold with one simple blow. No one tries to stop him as Tao gave your bully one final kick in the gut before walking away, muttering about how now one will get away with hurting you.

Tao: “Are you pathetic or stupid or both? Hurt her again and I’ll beat you up worse next time!”


Kim Junmyeon/ Suho

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Not only has your bully messed with you, but has messed with the leader of the mafia, and it would be an understatement to say that Junmyeon was very pissed off when he found out about this. He took your bully by the scrape of their neck, pushed them back against the wall and threatened them until tears were pouring down your bullies face. While it was somewhat strange to see Junmyeon in this way, it was also oddly satisfying to see him standing up for you and giving your bully what they deserved.

Suho: “Is {y/n} a pile of shit?”

Bully: “N-no”

Suho: “Then don’t fucking treat her like she is!”


Lu Han

Originally posted by luedeer

Luhan is a very caring boyfriend outside of being the mafia, so when he finds out that you have been getting bullied he isn’t happy at all. He, like Minseok, decided to do some research before falling neck deep into this. With the help of Yixing and Sehun, he made his way across to the university, threatening your bully in a way that isn’t direct, but definitely gets the message across.

Luhan: “Put it this way, kid. If I find out you’ve been bullying {y/n}, it’ll be the last stupid thing that you ever do.”


Kim Jongin/ Kai

Originally posted by kaimilky

Kai knows of your bully, but had never met him until this moment, you and Kai were out at a club in the city together. You were wearing something low cut and tight, while he was also going for the sexy look. The two of you were dancing, grinding beneath the bright lighting until unwanted attention was finally brought. Your bully laughed, pointing at you as he did in university. Kai was ready to let it slide, to simply leave the club and find somewhere else, but that was until he actually heard the words you bully spoke. He gently removed his hands off you before leaping onto your bully, pounding him to the beat of the music. He finally stopped when he heard the yelling of the police. He grabbed you by the hand and pulled you out of the club, the two of you laughing as you make your great escape.

Kai: “Ah Jagi, that was more fun than it should have been.”


Wu Yifan/ Kris

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Kris is known throughout the country as one of the most dangerous men. Like Suho, he is also a leader of the EXO mafia, and therefore makes him one of the most wanted man. Usually, he keeps his head down, but when he finds out that you’re being bullied, he can’t help but get himself involved within the conflict. He walks inside of the university, casually strolling with his hands in his pockets and walks up to you bully. As Kris takes the seat next to you bully, you could see the way your bully paled as white as a sheet without Kris even saying anything.

Kris: “See that girl? That’s my baobei… I’ve heard you’ve been hurting her recently. You should take more care of your actions before it leads to serious consequences.”

It’s about that time again. After asking twitter when I should share it and an overwhelming vote in favor of “now, you asshole,” I’m excited to share the official playlist for THE EDGE OF THE ABYSS!

Like last time, I’ve included a note about what each song is there for, and the songs are roughly in story order. This, of course, leads to a caveat: while I’ve done my best to keep things vague, the deeper you go and the closer you read, the more you wander into potential spoiler territory. 

This playlist grew alongside the book—some songs corresponding to certain scenes, others lending themselves more to the overall vibe. Those of you who’ve read already can probably see their influence and the ways they reflect the story. Those of you who haven’t… buckle up.

  1. So Far From Your Weapon // The Dead Weather // there’s a bullet in my pocket burning a hole / you’re so far from your weapon and the place you were born // a song for lookout duty
  2. Winter // Daughter // drifting apart like two sheets of ice, my love / frozen hearts growing colder with time // a song for three weeks of silence
  3. Blame // Bastille // fall upon your knees, saying ‘this is my body and soul here’ / fall and beg and plead, saying ‘you’ve got the power and control’ / don’t pin it all on me // a song for swift at the door
  4. Gun // CHVRCHES // who are you to tell me how to keep myself afloat? / i tread the water all the while / you stuck in the knife that you held at my back // a song for bleeding lips and finding balance
  5. Get Home // Bastille // how am i gonna get myself back home? // a song for a question
  6. Mother & Father // BROODS // ever since i left my mother, it’s much harder to know / how to make my own life here, how to make my own home // a song for a heart too empty
  7. We the Common // Thao & The Get Down Stay Down // all they wanted was a villain, a villain / and all they had was me / all they wanted was a villain, a villain / so then they just took me // a song for cas and the salt
  8. Beggin For Thread // Banks // strapped down to something that you don’t understand / don’t know what you were getting yourself into / you should have known / secretly i think you knew  // a song for cas and the bind
  9. Ships in the Night // Mat Kearney // turn the lights down low / walk these halls alone / we can feel so far from so close // a song for trying to make it work
  10. Black Water // Of Monsters And Men // swallowed by a vicious, vengeful sea / darker days are raining over me / in the deepest depths i lost myself / i see myself through someone else // a song for cas
  11. Trouble // Neon Jungle // they say here comes a hurricane / trouble is her middle name / but i don’t look for trouble / yeah, trouble looks for me // a song for swift at the helm of a needleboat
  12. Hell and Back // The Airborne Toxic Event // and you took me to hell and back / how many times can i walk away from you? // a song for a new year
  13. I’m So Sorry // Imagine Dragons // so you gotta fire up / you gotta let go / you’ll never be loved ‘til you’ve made your own // a song for meeting an old friend in the middle of a storm
  14. Bullets // Rebecca & Fiona // don’t make me show you how weak you are / hurts like bullets between these walls // a song for a punching bag
  15. The Draw // Bastille // in my left hand there is the familiar / in my right hand there’s the great unknown // a song for cas’s turmoil
  16. Leave A Trace // CHVRCHES // i have somehow got away with everything / anything you ever did was strictly by design / but you got it wrong / and i’ll go anywhere but there // a song for cas, the knife
  17. Ghost Towns // Radical Face // but i miss you / but there’s no coming home / there’s no coming home with a name like mine // a song for cas and tom
  18. We Sink // CHVRCHES // we are / i’ve come apart and you made me / float like / a pretty box of your evil // a song for young leadership
  19. Cliffs Edge // Hayley Kiyoko // cliff’s edge, you turn me on / you lead me on / you’ve got me on a cliff’s edge / where i belong // a song for a cold bottle of beer on the trainer deck
  20. Everybody Wants To Rule The World // Lorde // help me make the most of freedom / and of pleasure / nothing ever lasts forever // a song for second times
  21. This Is Why We Fight // The Decemberists // so come to me / come to me / lay your arms around me / this is why / this is why we fight // a song for the last stand 
  22. I Bet My Life // Imagine Dragons // i know i took the path that you would never want for me / i know i let you down, didn’t i? // a song for new ships on the horizon
  23. Home // American Authors // i’m not trying to part the ocean waves / i’m not trying to overthrow the throne / i’m just trying to find a way to make it back home  // a song for the end in sight
  24. Monster Lead Me Home // Sara Hartman // where there is nowhere to hide / stranger on the other side / we walk in shadows / monster lead me home // a song for cutting a deal
  25. Love Me Again // John Newman // i need to know now / know now, can you love me again? // a song for new beginnings in the bones of old ones
Same Patterns {Part 5}

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Summary: You and your broken heart now live separated from the Avengers. It hurts, and they all try the same thing to make you come back - but when will it work?

Words: 1423 - this was supposed to be a drabble

Warnings: Angst. She slaps someone…not telling who.

You had promised to be only gone a week, but a week had turned into two and then three, then a month, not quite yet ready to face him. If you were honest, you would probably spend the rest of your time like this; unless something big happened. And happened it did.

It was early in the evening. You were tired. Tired of your meaningless job and the endless stacks of paperwork needed to be filled out; tired of the simple scout and report missions that a five year old could undergo in their sleep; and tired from knowing once more you may have to hurt your friends and turn them down once more because your heart had been trampled on.

Because you do not think you would ever be ready to hear why Bucky did what he did. But life was something that never went as planned. It was always a cup full to the brim with just one more drop from spilling over and releasing a flood. Two months after hiding yourself, the one person you wanted to see the least or most, you still were not quite sure which it was – knocked on your door.

“For the last time guys, I don’t want to come back yet.” You called from inside your apartment, assuming it was someone else here to convince you otherwise. Maybe Peter?

“I’m not here to convince you to come back, Y/N. I just want you to give me the chance to speak.” Not Peter. Definitely not Peter.

Your whole body seized up, unable to comprehend what he was doing there.

“Y/N?” he spoke again after your silence.

You managed to get your mouth open and force some sounds out to show that you were still there. “So speak.”

“I…I’m so sorry, I can’t say anything to excuse what I did but I…I get it if you never want to forgive me or see my face again, but don’t punish everyone else for my stupidity. Everybody misses you. They need you there. You’ve been gone for nearly two months and I don’t think things have ever been quieter than right now. Steve misses training with you. Tony’s happy whenever he leaves to check up on you, but when he comes back he has this sour look on his face. That punk, Peter stopped showing up as much now that you’re gone – you know he looks at you like an older sister; you have a family back home and…if I’m not a part of that, so be it. I deserve it. I royally screwed up, but don’t punish them.”

You stood with your back to the door, lightly resting your head against the wood as he spoke. When he finished, you remained there, absorbing everything. Slowly you took of the chain on your door and opened the door just a crack. At the unexpected sound, Bucky had leapt up to look at you for the first time in months. He only caught a peak of you, just enough to know that your eyes were red-rimmed and the dry paths of tears betrayed you, you had been crying since before he was there. Your hair was a mess, not combed through and all over the place; he caught a glimpse o what shirt you were wearing. It was one of his, probably swept up in your packing that day before you erratically returned his belongings. He had assumed you would have burnt it in your anger. You still looked beautiful in his eyes; the same enchanting person you were when he first met you. His heart leapt and then broke once you opened your mouth.

“Why?” The voice was so broken and hurt. Bucky loathed himself for being the cause of it. How could he have ever caused you this pain? He opened his mouth to ask ‘Why what?’ but you interrupted him, continuing, “Why did you do it?”

“Y/N…”

Keep reading

Push

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Summary: Jared kisses you before he leaves for Vancouver. Can you make the distance work, or will he be just another fling like every other shoddy relationship you’ve ever had?

Word Count: 1,077

Warnings: self doubt, talk of past abuse, fluff

A/N: A very late submission for @iwriteaboutdean‘s challenge, and my song was Push by Matchbox Twenty. I swear I’ll get better at deadlines. This took forever to write, and I have about six different versions of it floating around in my empty headspace, but this is the one y’all get. Enjoy!


Originally posted by themegalosaurus

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been good enough.” You looked at your feet as you scuffed them across the pavement. “It’s… been a long time, Jared. I just - I don’t know if any of them have ever really loved me.” You slumped against his side.

“Of course you’re good enough, [Y/N]. You deserve so much more than they could ever give you. You deserve someone who treats you like a queen. You deserve-” He wanted to keep going, but you stopped him.

“Someone like… you?” You dared to look him in the eyes.

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