(Requested by @thiscityneedsyounow! I hope these are okay! And I hope you feel better soon sweetie!! )
he’s at a loss
totally caught off guard
and a little scared ?
he knows that girls get cramps on their periods…but…he doesn’t KNOW
you’d have to walk him through it - but he’d do whatever you ask
You want chocolate? Sure - he’ll go get it.
A heating pad? Definitely. No problem.
You want him to rub your back? No big deal.
Need more pads/tampons or pain killers? Just tell him which ones to get and he’ll get it.
(he’ll text you pics of the different ones at the store until he finally has the right one)
also he’s always down for cuddling so if you just need affection - he’s THERE
he’ll wrap his tail around your waist and nuzzle against you and its so cute and warm and lovey dovey
he KNOWS what to do
he’s already got everything you need
likes giving you little facts about this or that revolving around a period
“Did you know that chocolate actually helps ease period cramps because-”
“Yukio - stop. Please don’t talk about it.”
“Well, okay Y/N. But there’s no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed of it - its totally normal and - “
Ryuji ‘Bon’ Suguro!
big gorilla lookin muthafucka buyin pads/tampons at the convenience store with THAT expression ^
he doesn’t honestly have a problem with it
but he has to keep up appearances - you know?
constantly worries about you though
if you’d let him he’d wrap his arms around you - his hand lightly holding the heating pad/hot water bottle in place against your abdomen
presses soft kisses to your shoulder comfortingly
stays quiet usually but if you just want to hear his voice he’d recite sutra
bless his sweet little ol heart
he’s not prepared in the slightest
feels useless cause he doesn’t know how to help
probably prays about it when your napping or whatever
is willing to run around and do whatever you say so that he can be of use
he’s kinda like a puppy
he ALREADY KNEW when this day would come
he’d noticed your habits in class and stuff before ya’ll had become a thing
and could pinpoint approximately when you would start
its kinda creepy Renzou
but he always offered you a water bottle and he always knew when you wanted chocolates and he always kept a supply of pain relievers in his bag when he knew this day was approaching
now that ya’ll are a thing - he’s still the same
he’s still ready for it and he spoils you days in advance
bringing you your fave flowers or a teddy bear and something chocolate
when the cramps happen - it shocks him that they’re so bad
but he stays chill and rubs your back and does whatever you need him to
None of them ever say anything if there’s blood on sheets/blankets/clothes/towels. They just let it be. They might text their mothers (or girls they know, ex: Shura) and ask how to remove the stains - and if they can’t they might just throw out whatever it is and get a new one (unless its something important to either of you - in which case they just don’t speak about it and eventually they don’t even notice it anymore to be qh).
I had to doodle something from the latest chapter of Serendipitous Fate by @skaylanphear cos it gave me so many goddamn feels and if you aren’t reading that fic then you are missing the hell out like you don’t even know ok
Summary: After thinking over everything that’s happened you decide to pull yourself together. You get rid of anything that reminds you of him when you get a visit from someone who’s willing to help. You’ve finally come to terms with it: Love sucks.
If it wasn’t clear before it definitely was now. Love wasn’t your luckiest subject and this time you’d really fallen for the wrong person. Someone who was once so sweet ended up just putting up with you because he was so sweet. You hadn’t realize you were the one who drove this awful person out of him. Closure? Yeah, you weren’t getting that anytime soon but you did realize it was over. The game you two had been playing for only half a week as come to a close and neither of you would be crowned a victor. It was literally a lose, lose situation. You weren’t one of those people to go out to the press and ruin everything he’s built or have the guts to ruin the other girl’s love life by telling her everything. There was simply nothing left for you to do but get over it all by yourself.
There was a box placed on top of your bed as you started to put things from around the house that were his or things that reminded you of him. You kept reminding yourself how hard it would be without him but now you were starting to realize you never had him in the first place. He always belonged to someone else. When you walked past the front door you heard the door bell go off. Nervously you walked over and placed your hand on the door knob. As you opened the door the words spilled out of your mouth-
Jungkook looks at you, confused. “Y/N?”
Your eyes widened and you looked up at the handsome boy standing in your doorway.
“O-oh….I thought you were someone else…”
Jungkook nodded. “Tae? Nope. Sorry it’s just me..”
You waved your hand for him to come inside and he followed. You showed him to the couch, letting him sit down.
“Do you want something to drink or-?”
He shook his head. “I came here to talk to you about something.”
“Right. Before you do, can I say something?”
Jungkook gave you a nod and you sat next to him on the couch.
“I..uh..feel awful about the other day. It was stupid, impulsive, and selfish. I’m really sorry that I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have used you like that. If he’s blaming you I promise i’ll tell him it was my fault. I don’t know what I was thinking-..well to be honest I wasn’t thinking at all. I made things worse for everyone. I’m sorry.”
He took a deep breathe and faced you. “I’m not sorry. I felt guilty because I’ve never had to lie to the members before but I don’t regret it.”
“What? But I don’t understand-”
He fiddled with his fingers in his lap.
“You were right. I do like you and even if you were just using me you were still with me in that moment.”
The look on his face was already enough to break your heart. You put him in the same position Taehyung put you in and you weren’t sure that an,”I’m sorry”, was going to fix that anymore. Both of you remained silent for a few seconds and to break it Jungkook stood up from the couch. You looked up at him, standing in front of you.
“I should go now. You’re going through a lot and I’m sure me confessing isn’t helping right now. But, Y/N?”
“I’m sorry he did that to you and I’ll be there for you if you need me to. You already have my number.”
Jungkook flashed you a light, apologetic smile.
You stood up. “Wait. Do you wanna stay a little bit longer? I could use the help.”
His face lit up when you asked him to stay. You hoped this would end up with another mistake you couldn’t take back. The two of you sat on the living room floor sorting out through all the crap you had to get rid of. You had music playing through your stereo, you and him started talking more, and overall you were starting to feel better. For a while you even started to forget how badly you felt this morning. Jungkook made some dumb joke, causing you to choke on your drink laughing. Your phone lit up beside you and you saw Taehyung’s name attached to the text message.
“I really fucked up the other day. Me and Y/N got in this fight the other day and I think I need to go back over there. I was supposed to make a clean break but it turned out to become a mess. I just wish things didn’t have to be like this, Jimin. I know you’re just going to tell me that I should have risked it and stayed with her but I wasn’t going to get her in trouble. Blackmail doesn’t work like that. Someone’s going to get hurt either way.”
Your eyes gliding over the words and you didn’t know what any of this meant. Jungkook stared at your blank expression.
“Y/N? What is it?”
You suddenly get on your feet, running to the door. You grab you shoes, forcing them onto your feet.
“Hey! What’s wrong?” Jungkook calls after you.
You ignore his words once again to go running off to the boy’s dorm. The word mistake was replying over and over in your head. Here you go once more chasing after something that’s most likely not there. Love really made you do some dumb things. When you arrived at the door you froze. Jimin walked behind you, coming back from practice.
“What are you doing here?”
You jumped, startled by his voice.
“Jimin please be honest with me. What does this mean?”
You pushed your phone screen in his face and he took it from your hands to hold it himself. His face expression looked as if he just witness a car wreck.
“You really shouldn’t have gotten this..” He says, handing your phone back.
“Well it’s too late now and I need to know what’s going on!”
“Fine…go inside and talk to him. He’ll probably tell you everything.”
Jimin walks over to unlock the dormitory door, letting you inside. You felt your own heart pounding in your chest. This was either going to fix things or make it worse. There was a small shred of fear that he was just going to start yelling all over again. Jimin called out that someone was here to see him. He came out of his room and saw you standing in the kitchen.
He looked astonished.
“What are you-?”
You showed him the message just as you did for Jimin. You heard him slip out a curse from under his breathe.
“Just ignore it. It obviously wasn’t for you…Please just go home Y/N. I told you this is over with.”
“Oh really? Then why did you consider coming back? Please for once just tell me the truth. You said right here that someone was bound to get hurt and that you didn’t want to hurt me but that’s all you’ve done! It can’t get any worse so please-…Please just tell me.”
Taehyung extends his hand and suddenly yours is engulfed by the warmth of his. He walks you to his room and sets you down.
“Things went way worse than I meant to…I took it too far and I’m sorry..” He begins.
“What does the blackmail thing mean? What’s going on?”
Your demands cause him to sigh, looking as if he had been holding back.
“BigHit asked me to have someone play as my girlfriend for media attention. That way no harm would come to you and both of us would get attention since we were celebrities. However, only our CEO and Manager knows that. They told me if anyone found out about us that I would have to handle it and there was no way they were going to admit to telling me to date someone for the press. She started blackmailing me and saying she would tell reporters that I had someone on the side. She asked for money since we became more popular and I had to break up with you so people didn’t do some witch hunt and ruin your reputation along with mine. I know what I said was harsh but Pleas trust me. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this..”
For once your eyes hadn’t weld up with tears and you assumed it was because you were already way past your limit.
“…Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I was scared. People are crazy! Who knows what they would have done towards you?” He exclaimed.
“So..You weren’t pretending after-all? This didn’t all happen because I told you I loved you?”
Taehyung slowly shook his head.
“I wanted to protect you but you wouldn’t give me up that easily. Then I just lost it when I heard about you and Jungkook….”
Jungkook! He was still sitting all alone in your place probably wondering where you ran off to. You hoped he would be okay for just a little bit longer but it was probably a bad time to tell Taehyung that he was in your house.
“You made me believe that you didn’t love me. Taehyung you put me through literal hell for 5 days!”
“I know I’m sorry-”
“Are you? I believed those words you yelled at me! I thought I was going crazy!”
When you locked eyes with him you noticed his eyes glistening. He had started to tear up.
“I know. Y/N. There no excuse for the way I did it but please…let me fix this. I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll never fight with you or yell. I love you so much..”
Damn your weak spot for him. You reached out and held his hand as a form of comfort.
“I love you too…Just don’t ever do anything like this again. You have to ask me when you make decisions like this.”
He nodded frantically. “I will. I mean it!”
You felt your lips smile on their own. He admitted the words you had been waiting to hear. You kept wondering what the catch was or if you would suddenly wake up and this would all be a dream.
Taehyung put his hand onto your cheek.
“If you’re not still mad at me….can I kiss you? It’s been so long and I really missed you. It was hard controlling myself before.”
It was true he was a touchy boyfriend and you noticed the change but it never occurred to he was the one holding back.
You watched as he leaned in closer to you, closing his eyes slowly until his lips met with yours. His warm hands were up against your blushing cheeks. No other kiss made you feel this at home. You really had missed him so badly. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours.
“We can’t be together though…Seriously. I’m not letting her ruin your name. If she even finds out about this she’ll ruin both of us.”
You nodded. “I know..but at least I know, now. We’ll figure this out, I promise. But for now, can’t I stay a little bit longer with you like this?”
Taehyung’s face lit up with a smile. “Please.”
Looks like Jungkook was going to have to wait a little longer.
Tomorrow, I will be 3 years sober. Even though my addiction to intravenous heroin was definitely the most problematic, it has always been something with me. It started off with Xanax and K-pins, then to that mixture I added adderall, vicodin and valium and lorezepam, then as I began to experiment with drugs I realized that anti depressants/anti anxiety medication wasn’t my favorite anymore. I started my opiate addiction with 5mg percs, then I began snorting them and upped my dose little by little. Then I went to college and began smoking 30′s and popping xanax and adderall on the regular. Then I revisited an old friend of mine, heroin. I had tried it in high school a few times, and it gave me such a good feeling I was afraid to use it again. I had only snorted it in high school and when I began using it again in college I promised myself I would only snort it (or sometimes smoke it) and that I would NEVER shoot it… But then smoking three 30′s made me feel only a little bit okay, and snorting a couple bags only barely took the pain away.. then I shot it once just to try it and then…well, to this day I am still trying to pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together. I screwed up my entire freshman year of college, lost all of my ambition, almost died twice, lost 50 pounds, turned into a zombie… I lost all of my feelings for people who cared about me, I stopped eating because everything I ate would end up getting thrown up anyway. Heroin put me in so many bad situations too. I’ve been robbed numerous times, sometimes by people I thought were my “friends”. I’ve had a gun pulled on me, my house and car broken into… then I started becoming shady myself.
To keep up with my habits I had to middleman dope and I would upcharge junkies that I knew would pay the price. I helped my dealer rob another dealer; we stole 10 bricks and I accepted only 2 and a half bricks for helping, which is still a lot of dope but I did most of the work and settling for less than half was okay to me. That’s not right? I didn’t even think twice about it. Once I got my cut I sold about 2 grams and the rest went into my veins eventually. I held onto my stash like it was my prized possession. I kept that much heroin in my dorm room. What the fuck was I thinking??? Then a week before the end of the semester I realized that I had to go home and see my family and I looked in the mirror and just started bawling because I knew they would know… I mean how could they not? I was pale as a ghost, had the biggest dark circles, my arms were COVERED in track marks and they’re still not healed, I was weak, skinny, my hair had become thin, I just looked like I had no life left in me. When I first tried heroin I thought I was going to do it on the side just to keep myself happy and comfortable. And for a while I did, I somehow kept a balance, but without even realizing it, I let myself go. I drowned in my sorrows and let my lack of self esteem take me away and I became the one thing I said I never would be.
Addiction is real. It’s not something anyone wishes for or tries to acquire. It can sneak up on you and before you realize it has you, you’ll have no money, no good people left in your life, and you’ll NEVER notice how much you changed as a person. I was okay with giving up my potential and dreams to escape through a temporary buzz. Growing up I had always surrounded myself with the wrong people and usually it would bite me in the ass and I would learn my lesson, but damn I was convinced that heroin was my best friend. I mean when I met heroin it was love at first sight. When it almost killed me, I woke up and shot another couple bags….
Thinking about it now I can’t believe it. My daily life was: wake up, snort a couple bags, go to class, eat a snack, shoot in the bathroom before my next class (if i didn’t have enough I would skip and go out and get more), throw up (usually happened randomly throughout the day), go to class and nod out and embarrass myself because I looked like such a junkie sitting there barely conscious, do a bit of homework, make moves to score some dope, shoot up my first big score, go to my dealers house (she wanted to fuck me so she usually gave me a couple bags for free), shoot that and chill for a bit, smoke some weed, maybe pop a xanax bar, go on rides with my dealer and all along the way snort bags off the back of my phone, eat something, throw that up, stumble to my friend’s house where me and my 2 “best friends” would spend our time smoking stupid amounts of weed, smoking 30′s, shooting smoking and snorting dope, and from there I would middleman more dope for my dealer and I would just shoot my profits all night and then eventually pass out just to wake up the next day and start all over.
I lost all common sense. This junkie lifestyle became normal to me. It became all I knew and all I wanted. I cut out friends that were actually positive and had their shit together. Then I would cry and wonder why I was so lonely. By doing drugs, I only made myself physically feel better but only temporarily and I spent the rest of my time either thinking about drugs or I was trying to get more drugs. Drugs never fixed any of my problems like I thought they did. I thought I was “self medicating”. I thought I was helping myself. All I did was make my life worse and almost killed myself.
The thing about being high all the time, with your main priority also fixated on getting your fix, you think life is okay. Drugs create this lens that distorts life and blocks worries, which means your life can fall apart right in front of your eyes but you can’t feel it, you can’t see it. You’re high and for that moment you are sucking in all the artificial happiness. The problem is when you inevitably come down, you see your life clearly for a minute and everything slams you at once, what you’ve lost, what you could’ve had. It is the tallest mountain to climb to undo what you have done, a lot of people try and try to climb it, but many fall back into an ever deeper bottom.
I’m 3 years sober but I’m still an addict. You never stop being an addict. I’m trying to fix myself. You’re not magically cured and your problems just don’t go away once you quit drugs, but you can face them with a clear mind. I still get depressed, my anxiety still kinda runs my life, but I’m not medicating with the old destructive habits. I’m not using drugs as a crutch anymore. I went back to school, earned my degree, and still managed to get into medical school. Things can change, but it takes more than just quitting drugs. You have to want it, with all of your being and then some. Sobriety is only the first step.
below the cut, there are SONG LYRICS from lots of different artists, including ariana grande, halsey, the neighbourhood, and much more !! you could use these lyrics for verses, tags, bios, or whatever your heart desires ! please give this a like or reblog if this helped you in anyway.
ok, I have only watched Civil War about three times bc it hurts.
So no, I haven’t written a fix it for it. By the way, for me to call it a fix it, it has to be an event change in what is otherwise canon that would alter the ending to something happier. I have scribbled things that made it worse, and I have mentioned events in CW in other fics, but I have never tried to fix it.
If I did, to be perfectly honest, I would let it run its course until the airport fight, and while they were all standing there being dramatic and glaring, I’d just have Nick Motherfucking Fury walk into the middle of it with a line about “I can’t leave you alone for ten goddamn minutes without you making a mess.”
and most of the group would get sheepish and those that don’t know Fury would get confused so then it would just be Nick telling them to sit their collective asses on the ground, followed by a lecture. He takes no prisoners on this.
T’Challa? You come from a super advanced nation, and you’re standing next to people that have the tech to steal someone’s face, do you even use your brain?
Rogers? Take the stick out of your ass and realize that not everyone loves it when the American way gets shoved down their throat. It’s called Consent bitch, sign the damn accords before Carter’s ghost shows up to bitch slap you.
Stark? Bruce doesn’t count as a therapist. I already scheduled a doc for you, and also why the shit didn’t you call me when things heated up? PS, set up Barnes with that thing you made that has the dumb name.
Maximoff? Maybe next time talk to Rogers about what the fascism looks like and help fix the problem instead of falling back on a criminal lifestyle.
Natasha? If I didn’t know better I’d think you were actively trying to make this worse. You’re better at what you do than this. I am disappointed in you.
Wilson? Just because you worship the guy doesn’t mean you have to go along with all of Captain America’s dumbass plans.
Vision? You are way too high power for this shit, either end it before anyone gets hurt of step to the fucking side, you throw the balance off.
Barnes? Same note as Wilson man. You know he’s an idiot better than anyone else here. Also, I set up some therapy sessions for you. Plums don’t do shit, your super soldier ass needs some real medicine.
Rhodey? You know what? Actually, nah, I get why you’re here, but dude, it’s a dumb fuck thing to do.
Barton? Seriously Wtf? I thought you retired, man?
And then like halfway through his twenty minute long diatribe, Scott sizes back up and Peter drops in from where he was hiding, and Fury jumps about three feet and ramps up the yelling to an eleven.
Two hours later, Wanda, Vision and Rhodey head off to Siberia, Steve and co have signed the accords, and Fury and Stark and T’Challa are working out a plan to A, make the accords better, and B, keep anyone from trying to kill Bucky.